The Weirdest Dictatorship on Earth: Turkmenistan

[@aarons6935]

With the amount of wealth Turkmenistan has, under a legit government it could be so darn prosperous. Genuinely depressing.

[@sirjmo]

You'd get something similar to Norway I guess.

[@CommissarMitch]

​@sirjmo That is a perfect way to look at it. Norway is a nation where the wealth comes from oil and gas, and it is a social democracy.

[@arthurmiranda8896]

That's all of human history.

[@spiritualanarchist8162]

Right ? it has everything to prosper. Resources, young population, etc.

[@lars7747]

same thing happens in a lot of middle eastern countries, only countries like saudi arabia who litteraly sit on money do a little bit better, the rest are dictatorships and extremely religious countries run by terrorism. If israel can become prosperous on a useless piece of dessert and litterally teraform it to support them then under proper rule all countries in the middle east can do it. Western takeover might be a dream come true for the locals

[@riton349]

Closing all the hospitals except the ones in the capital is the most absurd yet darkest thing I've heard.

[@whiteeye3453]

It's stupid

[@kingkayfabe5358]

😂

[@breania_inekora5069]

its giving hunger games, almost literally😊

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

Saparmurat Niyazoz... an 8 year old orphan that grew up deprived of attention and affection, went completely nuts when he was given power, and later, he not only demanded attention,he made illegal not to pay attention to him

[@smilaise]

Why are you just dictating the video? Do you have an opinion or comment about it?

[@kingkayfabe5358]

Based

[@barrybend7189]

He's just summarizing it so when we are lost in the weirdness we get the picture again.

[@TombofAsh]

I'm from there. Moved to the UK in 2011 and still got a ptsd.

[@gyllenspetzfamily7993]

I'm so sorry, can we do anything to help your former nation?

[@wuxiagamescentral]

​@@gyllenspetzfamily7993 just tell the US it has oil and likes Russia very much. That will give it sone freedom

[@shatterscape]

Go back

[@TombofAsh]

@@wuxiagamescentral us knows. There's a huge American presence there lmao

[@prestonjones1653]

​@@shatterscape Why? He's not Slavic, so he's the same species as us.

[@Thinngothboy]

So is this guy low key an irl version of aladeen from the dictator

[@sharkchaos5160]

Yeah pretty much.

[@thanhhoangnguyen4754]

​@@sharkchaos5160 Such aladeen that guy is. My friend I have nothing but aladeen word for him. How about you 😅

[@jakdmavika9233]

I have aladeen news. You are HIV-aladeen.

[@Legitpenguins99]

Better, he is the guy that inspired Aladeen. Him, and his good friend Gaddafi. Both are great guys! 😁

[@sharkchaos5160]

@@thanhhoangnguyen4754 Yeah he is such aladeen that guy is.

[@DakotaBroskie]

This will never not remind me of the Dictator movie of him changing the words "Yes" and "No" to his name

[@PorkChopAChunky]

Saladeen😂

[@captc0ck5lap60]

I enjoyed this Turkmanbashi you uploaded to Turkmanbashi. I Turkmanbashi'd the video and have Turkmanbashi'd to your -channel- Turkmanbashi. Please upload again soon, preferably on the Turkmanbashi of Turkmanbashi. The best subject, of course, would be Turkmanbashi. I wish you and all your family Turkmanbashi and good health.

[@jiachengwu4185]

Turkmanbashi! Turkmanbashi? Turkmanbashi ~

[@ryansauchuk7290]

This video is great to watch while i wait for my test results to see if im HIV Turkmanbashi

[@lucifel35]

After reading this comment I can't stop thinking of Turkmenbashi as some sort demented dictatorial smurf

[@aetherial87]

I did it! I landed in the Turkmen Bashi Airport, wandered the city of Turkmen Bashi, drove the Turkmen Bashi highway and stayed in the Turkmen Bashi hotel. It was the most Turkmen Bashi trip I've ever Turkmen Bashi'd. Even ate Turkmen Bashi and drank Turkmen Bashi. Turkmen Bashi won't Turkmen Bashi even on Turkmen Bashi! Turkmen Bashi Turkmen Bashi Turkmen Bashi. Turkmen Bashi!

[@lucifel35]

I start to think that Turkmen Bashi was a fan of the smurfs and their talking style

[@BigNBrother]

I... Now understand alot of jokes from Archer now. Thank you very much.

[@savageleft]

I thought they were exaggerating about Turkmenistan in that episode for comedic purpose, but it turns out they weren't too far from the truth

[@gyllenspetzfamily7993]

That show is always telling you something but you gotta be listening.

[@whiteeye3453]

I watched achrer all seasons I didn't pick up jokes from turkinsatn Were did he tell?

[@exceedcharge1]

@@whiteeye3453 The one where archer get bit by a snake and hallucinates about his past, cyril and ray have trouble getting antidote because so many thibgs have been renamed to “gurp gorp”

[@xandersnyder7214]

​@@exceedcharge1 backshish!

[@dishevelleddev]

I like how "not practical anymore" suggests that it was ever practical.

[@microcolonel]

I mean... It did work.

[@highbread817]

I think the Turkmenistan climate is one of the best examples I've ever heard of statistics being misleading. Its a vivid example most have experienced

[@oweneldridge8813]

How so?

[@cmdr_krabov]

Yeah, that's why you should always provide standard deviation. Mean value can be very misleading.

[@Luna_Christine]

The name of bread, a snake, and the dictators dog are all the same.

[@sharkchaos5160]

I remember that scene from Archer.

[@Catmom-gl5nt]

Not true at all…

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I am reminded of the French Republican/Revolutionary Calendar. where every day of the year had its own name. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Republican_calendar

[@knpark2025]

and if "berdie" hadn't reverted his predecessor's vocabulary reshuffling, a bread shortage could have been the darkest and hungriest "yo mama" joke in human history.

[@MonkeyJedi99]

@@knpark2025 Thank you for the involuntary snort-laugh I had!

[@SgtRocko]

Awesome vid, Stakuszek! I've actually been there - once when I was a good little Soviet Pioneer, then twice for my job in the early 2010s. It was fun. Last trip, at the Post Office I paid the postage for my postcards... then was told about the 50 Manat (about US$10.50) surcharge to pay the State Censor to read them. Per Postcard (my friends there say letters cost 100 Manat per page). Turkmen women are SEVERELY limited in what makeup they can wear - Russian, Tajik, etc. women, no worries - Niyazov said "Turkmen women are perfect & don't need makeup". One really interesting thing is a form of protest people do... Niyazov changed Turkmen orthography from Cyrillic to the Roman alphabet used by Turkey. People show soft opposition by using Cyrillic whenever possible - especially the young, who weren't even born under the USSR. Speaking of the USSR - sending kids out to help with harvests was a longstanding custom in the Soviet Union; I was suprised that nobody I spoke to thought it was unusual (in fact, they were surprised it's not a thing in Russia anymore LOL) Now... naming bread and things after his mother... c'mon, that's just adoracreepy...

[@MAGEs-of-Anarchy]

I’m pausing at around the 20 minute mark to say that I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the word Türkmenbashi more times already than I have ever heard any other word in a similar period of time.

[@HiLasse]

Let's not forget the "rough enforcement of state authority", and "absence of protection of women's bodily autonomy" both in private life and by the state. What ever darkness you imagine... It is worse than that

[@MariaRodriguez-dx6sm]

Saparmurat sounds like a very traumatized little boy who missed his family every day and was given too much power and not therapy

[@Honkious5824]

I wonder who thought it was a good idea? Was there any logic to it, or was Gorbachev just being a dumbass for the umpteenth time?

[@padraig6200]

​@@Honkious5824he was probably a pretty good Soviet drone, but when there was nobody telling him what to do anymore he realised he could do whatever he wanted lol

[@shadowmetroid18]

You didn't even get to the weirdest part. The president is absolutely obsessed with a certain variety of horse. And boy howdy does it show.

[@ethanchen4504]

The Dictator "You are HIV Aladeen" "Ah... OHHH... ahhhh"

[@Steve-206]

You're telling me I actually learned something from Archer?

[@veil6655]

Who's archer?

[@wuxiagamescentral]

​@@veil6655a cartoon basically think American dad for more mature audiences... more intelligent audiences is rather more correct

[@DextersLab93]

This is absolutely mindboggling. I had no clue how wild Turkmenistan is.

[@rajanranjitmistry]

Years ago, I bought the Ruhnama and read it several times. Some parts were sweet and good advice, but many sections were incoherent gibberish.

[@knpark2025]

How to make a South Korean start making an IRL impression of a Bluescreen: Step 1. Call anything in the world "worse than North Korea". Step 2. Show evidences.

[@knpark2025]

Also, before I watched this video the weirdest thing I knew about Turkmenistan is that their president fell from a horse, and an "Anthropomorphic British Toucan in a Suit" broke his Guiness book record for the biggest marble cake in the world with his even bigger marble cake with the printed image of that specific moment of the president falling from the horse.

[@Honkious5824]

It's hard to tell what's actually going on in North Korea due to how much the South Korean government controls the narrative, such as paying defectors more the more they criticise their former country, the truth be damned. For all we know, North Korea could just be a average run-of-the-mill third world country, perhaps with some decent healthcare like Cuba.

[@gyllenspetzfamily7993]

Ok little pinks, go fix your own country then come back for more strawmen battles.

[@jodhan90]

​@Honkious5824 It's hard to tell how bad it is because almost nobody is allowed to leave and you can only visit very selected locations. No average third world country is like that. Only extreme dictatorships with a lot of bad things to hide.

[@knpark2025]

@@Honkious5824 unless 25 million fellow Koreans to the north collectively turned into dwarves and went underground, NASA and MAXAR would disagree with your theory with their night time satellite images.

[@metzyahrosenstein4827]

Ashgabat is one of the freakiest places ever constructed

[@ih8strikefreedom5]

This is an aladeen certified video

[@jortega9887]

God damnit a dictator with mommy issues. Now dictator with daddy issues. What is next?

[@randomperson4198]

Sister complex?

[@gjshomeofsilliness9391]

In Our Town, In Our Town... I know, ponies, but Turkmenistan is basically Starlight's regime cranked up to twelve!

[@catsareamazing3616]

Idk maybe

[@gjshomeofsilliness9391]

@@catsareamazing3616 After watching the whole video, I amend my statement: Turkmenistan goes EVEN FURTHER BEYOND OUR TOWN!

[@parkerburrus289]

It’s North Korea on steroids

[@Reptani]

Honestly

[@jake7151]

I’d like to go, but unfortunately I’m more broke than a 1989 Ford Escape that’s been left out in a field since 1995.

[@aarons6935]

Nah, cant be that broke.

[@jake7151]

@@aarons6935 Then you’d be wrong my friend!

[@comandercarnis]

Damn bro, you alright?

[@jake7151]

@@comandercarnis I have 6 dollars and 76 cents to my name. All in coins.

[@comandercarnis]

@@jake7151 that's rough buddy

[@Lomiei]

The editting at the beginning was fire. Love the vids brother.

[@sharkchaos5160]

Great video and thanks for this video I didn't know anything about this crazy country.

[@sethramey2171]

Only a 1/4 through and just wow Didn’t know anything about this place.

[@MakeLoveNotWar687]

This is my motherland that was never recorded

[@mathyoucanwaitk7905]

I didn't realise General Admiral Aladeen was based so heavily on a specific person

[@robertdagge200]

I was there for a few days in 1999. Bizarre place - EVERYTHING had been named Turkmenbashi (if I remember correctly, even the currency....).

[@guycrew3973]

The current state of most central Asian nations makes the USSR days look great

[@GingerisMaximus]

Another awesome video from Stack, keep em rolling good sir!

[@rl-762]

Him renaming things is very Aladeen

[@aarons6935]

HIV Aladeen.

[@Johnlanzer]

It is very Aladeen!

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

Do you mean Aladeen, or Aladeen? Because one of those will get you Aladeen!

[@Septimus_ii]

I think The Dictator was inspired by several countries, but especially Turkmenistan

[@DakotaBroskie]

This is a very Aladeen comment! Thumbs Aladeen!

[@georgebettasso1395]

Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 and uzbekistan 🇺🇿 would be interesting. But the most interesting Dictatorship is Albania 🇦🇱 during to Cold War under Enver Hoxha regime and even Stalin told him take it down a notch with purges in the early 1950s, in fact, he out more purges than any other Warsaw Pact countries and switching allegiance so many times.

[@rustomkanishka]

Even before hoxha Albania had King Zog, king of the vendetta. He's a wild character too.

[@StrikerUSS]

​@@rustomkanishkaOh hell yeah, modern Albanian history is such a wild ride. Imagine freeing yourself from communism to then have your country almost collapse because of pyramid schemes. And don't get me started on the bunkers

[@jadecrusher1066]

Great video always wondered about this place

[@Twilights_Bard]

I feel like I'm listening to Tropico in real life. I didn't think the world got this far.

[@yf_NorthernAreas]

Bro eating his mom for lunch everyday sounds WEIRD😂🍞

[@dillpicklewes50]

TIL Archer wasn't kidding about the bread, snake, Friday, and the dictators dog being all named after him. Bishlamek gurpgork.

[@ENPA_1]

Thank you Sir! Fascinating!😮😊❤

[@marcushanes100]

It’s one of those places that when you first start hearing about it you are like haha that’s weird and kind of funny. But when you actually think about how it must be to live there and learn more it is actually very sad.

[@Toster181]

very crispy sound, love it

[@fredesca8648]

I seem to remember John Oliver doing a piece about this place.

[@robertmartin6953]

He did, John said the current ruler name as much as possible.

[@JLo83]

Even John shortened it to Berdy after a few minutes​@@robertmartin6953

[@Raptor052]

​@@robertmartin6953 And made a GIANT cake featuring him being thrown off of a horse.

[@Svstrauser]

Not saying that I don't like your videos, but I would like them even more if you could use Celsius in addition to Fahrenheit.

[@Veltrosstho]

72 is room temp. 100 is HOT 55 is COLD 32 is freezing.

[@TheForeignGamer]

​@@Veltrosstho 55 is cold for you? Must not be from the north :P

[@Ad1nfernum]

​@@TheForeignGamer Lol Canadian here and I concur. That's a temperate spring day and I would be running in shorts and short sleeves.

[@Volodimar]

@@Veltrosstho wow, thank you very much for that totally objective and evenly spaced scale!

[@probablythedm1669]

How many stacked microwaves tall is a Farenheight? We talking about 1 battery? Or one half of a licked Oreo? 😂 I don't know why it's seemingly a US tradition to measure things in any way but the exact ones the rest of the world uses... but making no sense to the rest of the world keeps the USA interesting! ❤😂🫣

[@alias7859]

That's hard pass and a hard no for me! I will be okay retiring soon and never seeing that place. No thank you!

[@bangladanglawtf]

Thank you for the video, another mind boggling topic that I could not stop watching. A technical question though - would it be possible to flash the international units when talking about like miles or degrees Fahrenheit? For example miles I can roughly estimate but Fahrenheit i find impossible to contextualize. Thank you!

[@demogorghon]

That was pretty fascinating to listen. Thanks

[@twistedyogert]

If it's one thing about dictators. They love the look of their faces. Stalin, Lenin, Mao, all have statues of themselves. It's like they think they're gods or something.

[@guycrew3973]

Hitler didn’t and people say he’s a bad guy

[@PrimetimeX]

@@guycrew3973are you saying he isnt?

[@snapemetz]

This was so so good and interesting!!

[@mikemaclean4932]

Kind of agree with banning lip sync !

[@amandak.4246]

i found myself surprised to agree with some of the things they banned, considering everything else

[@RonOnTheWay]

They did an Archer episode about this country!

[@bthsr7113]

If at some point you could debunk the false history of technological achievements and firsts pushed within North Korea, that would be great.

[@borismarkovic5426]

Ha THE FIRST ONE EVER! Love you man!

this guy is playing dictator the way I played at being a hacker by opening Basic programs, changing some numbers around and then parading the fact that a once blue text was now green, all hail the great coder! I was 14 at the time.

[@michaelmijares5547]

It seems that Turkmenistan needs a healthy dose of FREEDOM.

[@parkerburrus289]

Yeah

[@cenktuneygok8986]

Hopefully not the American version but a proper freedom.

[@rafaelian478]

Sadly there's anything of value to exploit in Turkmenistan, so uncle Sam will let this pass, just like in Myanmar

[@kaiblade760]

@@cenktuneygok8986 Well, the American version would still be better than what they have here.

[@guycrew3973]

Honestly even if America wanted to invade how’d they even do that? The only place they could is getting military access through turkey Armenia and Azerbaijan and the go through the Caspian Sea

[@shanilbahadur7546]

Bro spoke to god but couldn't negotiate a loner life

[@RyanKeel-n2k]

This is great video but it made me sad

[@Mac2Ross]

Love your content, it's fantastic for me to listen too while I keep busy. I know this will probably upset the wrong people but when you do measurements like Fahrenheit could you also add the equivalent Celsius or metric? Outside the US it's a very weird temperature scale that doesn't follow the same scale as Celsius so it's pretty hard to interpret without pausing, checking then coming back. This is no reflection on your content, one of the best.

[@readingwithhelena5482]

I think it's funny how chileans we think that an earthquake under 8.0 it's low, but it's only we are to used to megaearthquakes lol

[@DawnieG]

I’ve watched so many vids about this place and you included some things I haven’t heard. I’d love some of the random things that were outlawed and then allowed. And stuff required then was unrequired.

[@riosasin3086]

so the guy was basically Aladeen himself? I don't know if this is Aladeen or Aladeen

[@JLo83]

That's a very Aladeen thing of you to say

[@TaintedStaff]

They had a rule that didn't allow presidents over 70? Wow! It's like we should implement that over here in America!

[@shadowfox2300]

wish i could but seems ill be deployed when you go on the trip maybe after we get back ill be able to catch one of your trips

[@dassemultor6940]

Did Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov (Turkmenbashi) inspire Admiral General Aladeen in The Dictator? Turkmenbashi this, Turkmenbashi that. Aladeen this, Aladeen that.

[@mommachupacabra]

Weather sounds like high desert Northern Nevada. I remember the winter it stayed below freezing for over a week with a low of -17F, and the following summer we had highs in our front yard of 117.

[@horstnietzsche1923]

Why would you live there 😅? I mean do what you want but I'm honestly at a loss for why you'd want to.

[@ElectromagNick]

Those Reno weather patterns were brutal! Mount Rose had some awesome snowboarding in the winters, though.

[@riverraven7359]

The sheer megalomania is actually impressive.

[@mc495150]

Ah yes, the famous german cities of salzburg and vienna…

[@phoenixfurrh8656]

"Hey guys have you heard of this miserable, barely liveable wasteland? Proceeds to perfectly describe Utah 😂

[@cameronmealing3622]

With our luck ranamah will be the only literature to make it to the aliens

[@lizethvelardeperez12]

That was a wild ride with the renaming of stuff

[@cosmicelectron]

Hey, if you wouldn't mind when you do temperature readings could you also give the Celcius measurements

[@cindygr8ce]

If I was going to go on any of these trips I would do the German Xmas market. I've been there as a child born in Germany. My father was in the US Army and stationed twice to Germany so most of my childhood was spent there. Unfortunately I doubt I'll ever be able to go back with 4 children a solo trip is just not going to happen and nearing $15,000 for a vacation is something I'll never be able to afford. Oh well I would suggest you guys try to go to the Church in the Rock it's amazing. It's near the Army base me father was stationed at(we lived in a different base in the town of Baumholder) it's an amazing story and beautiful church.

[@patrickhasachannel]

Remarkable...the place would be a unique tourist destination due to all the irony if not for all the repression

[@TheKipchak]

"Political Dentisty" I see what you did there

[@turdferguson9356]

Gerpgork... if you know, you know

[@beaksters]

Birdie seems like a fucking badass, that’s the best response to “you’re getting old, you should stop.”

[@cantsay2205]

Things like this make me very grateful for where I was born. The US isn't perfect, California sure as hell isn't perfect, but I'm so grateful to have been born here, in this time in human history. Because sure it's not perfect, but it could be so, so much worse.

[@scarx4181]

That's... not much of an allocation of electricity. I burn more than that monthly allocation on most days(mostly powered by my own solar setup). Not much water either for that matter.

[@Faraonqa]

Basically you are reading the script of the dictator, this is very Aladeen

[@nicrome]

Just came back from there a few months back. Actually quite intriguing. You’re right! They claim that their oil money was used to subsidise their utility bill fully (they pay utilities like 2x a year) and interestingly the 2nd and 3rd dictators have gone on a de-Niyazov campaign. The people knows how ridiculous Niyazov’s ideas were. Niyazov’s book Ruhnama is sold like thrashy souvenirs. However they still respect their current leader (the 3rd leader), fearfully. As you said, the 2nd dictator shifted the Neutrality monument to somewhere remote, as it was blocking traffic. The golden statue indeed no longer faces the sun. The city infrastructure is weirdly, actually really really good. Though, now after hearing your video, and what you mentioned about the people not able to hang their laundry and airconditioning removed, it makes sense. It looks good but the weather is so hot. And Ashgabat is strangely hyper clean. They have a bird shaped airport, and the city and cars were really all white. Very empty tho. And yes their epic gigantic flagpole. The unesco sites like the ruins of Nisa are very rich in history tho! Let’s hope they open up some day as tourism could add significantly to their economy some day

[@joshuabaker3421]

Ok, I had no idea that joke in Archer about everything being named after the dictator was actually grounded in truth lol

[@Sk0lzky]

I met a guy who fled Turkmenistan and you'd never guess where he went. To goddamn Afghanistan. Post taliban takeover at that. He had family there so he decided "yup that's the best option". He lives in Europe now but it just shows how strange the country is.

[@QalOrt]

More Turkmenistan videos

[@mattyoung6661]

I feel like you could have said “but wait, there’s more” or but wait, it gets worse” about a dozen times

[@greystorm9974]

This absolute insane from start to fi.... Banning lip syncing? Alright I now approve of birdy. Banning psychics? Okay justifies everything

[@amandak.4246]

i'll never understand the desire to make statues of yourself and name things after yourself...but i also have interest in being a leader, so many those desires go hand in hand

[@MasterTurner969]

Amazing

[@AtaMarKat]

“Yeah, we’re not gonna spin the statue anymore. That’s just, that’s just not practical.” “And the book?” “Oh, we gotta keep the book!”

[@CrisisMoon7]

8:18 “My friends” 😊

[@arecane2000]

Do you mean a pilot light?..That their gas appliances used pilot lights? Unimaginable...

[@user-saraswatidevi]

Ngl im obessed with Turkmenistan especially their first leader

[@jayclean5653]

Seek help

[@BirdRaiserE]

Archer had an episode where they went to a Turkmenistan-inspired country where the word for "snake" and "bread" were the same. And Archer got bit by a snake.

[@CommissarMitch]

I feel an intresting thing that can be covered is Estonia and how an ex-soviet state have become fully paperless. Every single way of life for the avarage Estonian is digital.

[@guycrew3973]

Neat

[@MarcusMaddox91]

No but ten minutes in and this story is actually crazy.

[@austinguthrie5528]

If there was ever a time for the Legion to come and KTF. It would be now. The Legion is from a sci-fi military book series called Galaxy's Edge. They're the guys you send in to kill the boogeyman. Like a professional army of John Wicks and punishers. I highly recommend it. A lot of references to star wars, lord of the rings and even modern day things even though the series is set a thousand years from now. There's a funny reference to Elon Musk that cracks me up everytime I read it. Such a good series!

[@SOJOA]

Archer did this.....years ago

[@amandak.4246]

this sounds like the worst country i have ever heard of...

[@LikeTheBirb]

Im used to Jon Olivers video so Gurbanguly's name pronunciation, with a British accent, is burned into my brain.

[@sandmandf]

I think you need a new series on crazy things these dictators did.

[@cdcdrr]

Lenin: I promised the people land, peace and bread. Shaka Zulu: I forbade the people to make bread, and to mourn the death of my mother. Turkmenbasy: I renamed bread to make it honour my mother!