The Wife vs The Baby Mama | Ep. #42

Life can get hard when a man has a wife and also a baby mama. From insecurities, disrespect, attention, personalities, and taking responsibility - it's a lot to juggle. Sometimes there are issues between all parties involved. So, where do you draw the line? Can wives and baby-mamas ever get along? What exactly is a baby mama? In this episode, we dive into the nitty-gritty of this sometimes complicated family dynamic.

[@amiespence7760]

As the WIFE, I don't think a man should have to jump when bm says how high..like answer every single call even if it's 15x a week because they're trying to exert their control or relevance using kids as leverage while at the same time hoping the wife gets upset. Boundaries must be set.

[@amiespence7760]

However we did once give her money to turn her phone back on which was a mutual decision and she pays no child support 😜

[@FavoredE]

Your wife comes before your baby mama. Long as the child is fed/safe/provided for thats all that REALLY matters. 😂😂 idc what no body says and this is coming from a wife!

[@THE1STEBONYRAINFALL]

It all boils down to..."...why wasn't I good enough to be his wife? I had his baby/babies and he married HER and NOT me!" The HUSBAND should NEVER become a simp for his EX girlfriend just because he FEARS her. Support the financial needs of the children and spend time with them. If the ex manipulates that relationship for her agenda ...take her to court.

[@chrisgarcia1487]

No it does not all time. You could have been the ex that gave the ring back. Every woman who had a child by a man that didn't get married does not mean that's the narrative.

[@mjjohnson377]

if a man thinks that it is his responsibility let alone appropriate to invest in the aesthetic and misc activities of his baby mama then said man deserves to stay single... while some may call this maturity this is actually such a LACK OF DISCERNMENT AND UNDERSTANDING that makes it the epitome of immaturity... it is the man's behavior that creates the tension and competition between the two women. If he had a platonic, black and white relationship with his baby mama she won't feel like another woman (his spouse) is taking something from her and commence her games and then the spouse (gf fiance wife) wouldnt feel insecure or untrusting about the coparenting relationship and become possessive and defensive... so men in these situations understand when you do to much for your baby mama in the name of the kids no only are you creating a monster out of your baby mama but you are also compromising your ability to have a healthy trusting relationship with your new spouse... dont do too much then just scapegoat the gf/fiance/wife as insecure and problematic when it's really ur behavior

[@kendriateague4817]

I come before the BM and the kids, meaning his first kids and the one we have together. There’s nothing that happens that isn’t ran by me first- when the BM texts, she’s texting both of us. We discuss what’s be done and he responds. And to the ladies that don’t have this respect you married the wrong man.

[@suzettey.puentem.a.5550]

Wow! Thanks Marcus. The position of "baby moma" is not easy. This is definitely loaded AND maybe you should invite a "baby moma" on the program.

[@toshmon12345]

If you are a real father and involved you don't need no communication with your baby mother just your child or children. You only need communication with her when you don't know whats going on.

[@kimmielawrence2105]

THIS one is it right here! ☝️

[@user-sk7ys8on6x]

i’m a baby mamma n i agree more with the man’s perspective… the woman actually feels like someone a man would want to keep their new girl away from because she comes off a bit pushy

[@jaxxonmaxwellandmommy8749]

You guys are always giving golden advice.

[@chrisgarcia1487]

Every man's baby's mama doesn't want them back, its ridiculous and immature. A wife needs to learn her place as far as doing too much when it comes to them and the raising of their child. The child's mother needs to know her place as well when it comes to their marriage and boundaries as far as how she communicates with him in regards to co parenting.

[@JordanArlesha]

I don’t think Marcus get it

[@nokuphilashoba6368]

Nahhh Marcus doesn’t get it

[@tiffanywade529]

In a marriage there has to be healthy boundaries set with the child mothers... That husband and wife is a union and does need to be respected..

[@ayednicolemedia3384]

Marcus… no

[@alwaysaccurate8725]

As a single mom- My child father wanted a child but not to be a family. But as a way to always return when he was ready! I ended it and he eventually married the women who would allow him to cheat- all BM’s are NOT salty. Call ur kid 1c or 2x a week, spend time and pay child support. Simple. Unless the BM is calling crazy hr and stalking you all trust- she dont want him- its likely he is an ass and wants her to feel his absence by not engaging wt the kids and evading financial responsibilities. Alot of wives are not 1st choice, particularly if the relationship ended do to infidelity… 🤫🤫🤫😊

[@StephMG]

I agree with the wife 😂😂 💯

[@crystalnzinga]

Why does the young lady have such vitriol and animosity toward "baby mamas?" She seems to only be able to see things from the wife's perspective as if the child's mother is not a person too. Does she think that because the man no longer wants to be with the child's mother that her feelings are irrelevant? The child's well being is most important. However, as the primary caretaker of the child, the mother's well being is important as well. Her home is now broken and any possibility of a home she hoped to have for her child with his father is gone. Doesn't that mean anything to anyone? She is now forced to share her role as a mother with someone she doesn't know and she has no control or say in that. That's why I respect and agree with Marcus' perspective and why it should be, for the most part, the standard for how these situations are handled. Respect and consideration across the board.

[@Kapreeluxe]

You sound like me cuz I'm a person too, I still matter, not just the child.

[@mjjohnson377]

@@Kapreeluxe Pls tell me how a woman is not supposed to feel a way when her man's ex is still fighting to matter to him... should he mistreat you ABSOLUTELY NOT & and have respect for you as another human being YES... but wanting the same or equal consideration, intimacy, provision and protection (and other things that come from actually being with a man) is no longer for that child's mother if he is not with her... sometimes i don't think the mother's understand hey what you're asking for and acting like is required in order to coparent is actually not appropriate being yall are not together. know your role with him like stepmom is supposed to about the child.

[@PrettyBoiGeneration]

You can still respect the bm and not bend over backwards for her, she’s not your woman, you don’t owe her anything but to be a great father to the kids, I don’t expect any extra from the mom so she shouldn’t expect any extra from me.

[@jennifermilsap7861]

He still having relations with his bm bottom line... tell her new man to get her hair done ✔️

[@jjjacobs8063]

I don't feel like the baby daddy should be paying the baby mommas bills no that blurs the lines too much. He is not her man anymore.. his responsibility is the child. Before they met she was supporting herself so she should continue that.

[@lifeessenceofpower7626]

This dude is ridiculous🤔

[@lifeessenceofpower7626]

He’s very foolish

[@tovah8841]

Yup It’s gross.. Who the hell wants to be a baby mama lol eewooo

[@ChildofTMH144]

Ikr 🤮🤮🤮

[@tovah8841]

@@ChildofTMH144 exactly, baby mamas are gross!!!! 🤢 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@algorxythm2350]

Some beautiful people! your brown skin is so nice Marcus! You look like Royalty!

[@chrisgarcia1487]

She might have been chosen first to be his wife and gave her ring back. Now he is married, they have a child to raise and the wife is vindictive and pressed. Its so sad because 95% percent of the time we don't want him. It's your turn now, why can't we be adults and raise this child together. No one talks about the jealous wife that swears you want her husband that you gave an engagement ring back too. That's wild.

[@babybenz8996]

I actually agree with Marcus. Some people are able to remove their ego and work on having an effective healthy relationship with another individual. Theres nothing wrong with doing something nice for someone. You are not obligated to fund or do anything long term (except for your child of course) Communication is key. Respect is key. Consideration is key. As she said, it takes MATURITY (Obviously if your hiding it, on some level you know it’s wrong)

[@crystalnzinga]

Let's stop demonizing and demeaning "baby mamas." Like the wife, she is still a woman and should not be viewed as less valuable because she was not chosen for marriage by the child's father. Let's also not minimize her role or the situation by thinking or saying she simply wants the man back. That isn't always the case. Some woman are very protective of their children and actually love and enjoy motherhood and being or having a complete family unit is important to them and raising healthy children. To lose the father to another woman where he will play the role of husband and father in another home, and now your child is part of that dynamic leaving your home broken...to me, that is a very devastating thing to have to deal with. Yes, the "baby mama" can, should, and will move on at some point. I just think some compassion and, like Marcus said, proper communication would go a long way in these situations.

[@swagsukeuchiha7599]

Nah im demonizibg baby mamas and baby daddies. Sorry

[@rootworkwithshamina]

This post is a complete contradiction. Harsh reality is ...becoming a mother before becoming a wife reduces your value to men looking for honorable women, because honorable women don't allow random men with no promises, to have unprotected sex with them, and birth children into broken situations. ...Do these woman really love their children or do they love themselves and their motherhood. having a baby before setting up a strong family structure is selfish as hell and their is no honor or respect in that ... its time for accountability.

[@mjjohnson377]

I dont think baby mamas who werent married to the man should be demonized or treated like she is just nothing. a lot of gfs/fiances and wives get frustrated with the double standard bms try to enforce that hey when it comes to this child I as a stepmom am supposed to know my role and not do too much and respect the child has a mother - but baby mama doesnt see or feel the need to do that as it relates to okay this is not my man anymore this is my child's father and I should not have relationship expectations from him and respect he has a woman... too many bms have intimate relationship standards in place in the name of having an effective coparenting relationship... it's not fair.

[@Loki-ko2mq]

It’s cute when you are younger and being called a baby mama but when you are older the term baby mama is not so cute. I went to a funeral for my ex in-laws a few months ago after being divorced for years and have not seen the in-laws for years and our daughter is grown. He has remarried and I struggled with the people who didn’t know me and how do I introduce myself to them and to try to fit in with my ex family. Long story short I came up with telling these people that I was The First Family to the ones that I have never met without trying to disrespect his marriage and his wife in-laws. Side note…some people become baby mama’s after divorce not just single women who get pregnant. There is a difference.

[@maiamiimaiam4343]

You cannot become a baby mother after a divorce if you been married from beginning and your children were made within the marriage. If anything you'd be his ex wife who is also the mother of his children. With baby mama, you're just the mother of his kids nothing else not even an ex when you two are no longer together, still considered baby mom because child or children were out of wedlock and he never married you

[@algobrehane7369]

Exactly! Baby Mama lifestyle only fits rich men. If you can't afford the peace, don't have them.

[@ThaGuttamothafucka]

What culture y’all living in lol you can say baby mama in a none harmful way

[@maiamiimaiam4343]

You so old to be supporting women being someone's bm

[@SheWhoDivinelySpeaks]

As much as the woman has great ideas of what it should be unfortunately she will never win against a baby mama. Men 90% of the time choose thier children over anyone else. She needs to date men without kids! Trust me I have been there. It does not end well. She will be forever in competition with a child. And their is no winning that war. Find a man with no kids if you have no kids. It works much better for you.

[@bossqueenz9339]

That's right, the child and the baby momma will always have his heart. He will always see them as his number 1 family. The wife or girlfriend would be playing a simp to an already family man.

[@angelg276]

That another lie I’m am the wife and I come before everybody

[@LavishAllureCollection]

@@angelg276 Me and you both sis!! Period 💕

[@PaulaMBrown]

@@angelg276PERIODDDD , how the hell your bm come before me?😂😂😂💅🏾

[@janisemills1]

I think it strongly depends on the man. Because I’m dating a single father who is not a deadbeat at all and still puts me first. He doesn’t really care about what his baby mamas saying unless it’s directly about the child.