The Worst WALKS in Australia

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We're on a mission to find the absolute worst of the most absolutely mundane things on the planet. Let us know what needs Jordan's expert appraisal.
This was just the tip of the iceberg, some things needed to be cut to make room for the "featured artist": Joe Exotic.
A huge thank you to our patrons who continue to support satire in this country. You guys are truly amazing / friendlyjordies

[@angadsinghphagura42]

Schools. I don’t know why they have review sections on Google, but they’re gold.

[@nmfcproductions]

Yeah mine just has a heap of boarders saying that they took drugs in the roof and got smashed with teachers and rating it 5 stars

[@lilwang2]

'fence is bad.' one star

[@colbartus5273]

Angad Singh Phagura “the principal gave me chlamydia” 1 Star

[@somegx]

There was no waffles. 1 star.

[@Nitalla_Creates]

There's one I found for St. Josephs College in Hunter's Hill Sydney. "I went there and the principal said that if I gave him money then the priest would give me meth"

[@clod00]

the "barefoot bushwalker might be a paedophile" response had me cry-laughing. never have i watched a 12-min video before with such a satisfying end. thank you jordies, this was amazing

[@G.reviewz]

What gets me is that he said he didnt have any evidence he isnt and not any evidence he is 😂😂

[@tomusannonymous]

Theres always gonna be that person who doesn't realise a hike is a LONG walk, not a short one. Most take hours.

[@TheRCish]

I can't imagine the kind of person who walks up a trail without even considering how long it is or looking for a map.

[@nrgbunni.]

It sounds like joe thought he'd try hiking for the first time but didn't do his research or prepare in any way and as a result had a terrible time. Joe it's not the walking trails fault you're out of shape.

[@socialistrepublicofvietnam1500]

and i am that person rn

[@jaycrisp536]

This dude has to be the most out of shape person ever

[@several.]

I looked it up and its only SIX KILOMETRES, he made it sound like he was Bear Grylls doing a three day stint in the bush.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

"oh, boo hoo, mud, leeches, unhappy girlfriend and if you don't agree you're a kiddy fiddler" What a freak. And a wuss.

[@planetdisco4821]

No way! 6 kilometres is nothing. Imagine if they’d been on The Long March with Chairman Mao lol

[@bear5945]

Yep and some lady did it with her five year old lmao

[@ryckii-j-birdman]

I want to start up a campaign to send Joe exotic to more walks around Australia to review. We need his wise words more than ever

[@mitchellaffleck1200]

I feel like this channel is becoming one elaborate excuse for jordan to get his REDACTED out on camera.

[@Wooplot]

good

[@MartintheTinman]

I'm sure he doesn't have a CLINT

[@HOTD108_]

@@MartintheTinman We will never know for sure.

[@katdoesntexist]

While researching my home town reviews for a podcast I found some amazing reviews for the local playgrounds. They’re hilarious. So many adults complaining about getting sunburnt while admitting they didn’t wear hats or sunscreen because they expected shade cloths.

[@rallyflag2957]

"I mean I don't have any proof that he isn't." Quite possibly the best retort I have ever heard. XD

[@grubbybum3614]

Jeez, that was not on the same level of insulting that he received. The guy must take his bushwalking pretty damn seriously...

[@Ralndrath]

Wow...That Joe Exotic dude went from 0 to 100 in a split second accusing the Barefoot Bushwalker of being a paedophile just for disagreeing about the walk. Made me laugh so hard now my chest hurts. Thanks, Jordie, that's the best laugh I had in quite a while. It's the best thing in these tryin' times (besides an egg, of course) Keep up the great work!

[@CommentFrom]

franics reynolds

[@joenoodle6914]

he was already well past 100 at that point lmao

[@eventerminator1382]

Do Worst Schools in Australia. You need to read the google reviews

[@Flecco]

Be surprised at some of the reviews police stations get too.

[@sydneytrainsareshit]

OMG YAESASSSS PLS DO IT

[@Jordan_Is_Here]

Yes

[@DrCoomer_1]

Don't you hate it when the *[REDACTED]* gets taken to the *{EXPUNGED BY THE O5 COUNCIL}*

[@Serris412]

Hey, you're not desinc

[@DrCoomer_1]

@@Serris412 Hello Gordon!

[@adelweiss7265]

The pain you've caused to Mr. Freeman is much pain indeed, Dr. Coomer.

[@FACTOTUM_55]

Secure contain protect

[@jimmux_v0]

Despite being a circuit walk, this trail clearly goes uphill the entire way. 1 star.

[@bodybag22]

Why do I suspect "Joe Exotic" and his girlfriend have the same combined weight as your average family sedan.

[@CalamityM]

Yeah I immediately thought that too.

[@-AGM83-]

hahahaha

[@drowsydrongo1906]

The spectrum of Australian wildlife experiences: To hot not one animal to see The only wildlife we saw were flies... Was only a dead wombat... I was molested by a pack of wild Compsognathus...

[@michaelmasson1528]

Could be worse, pretty sure Conner was molested by the barefoot bushwalker...

[@dirkdigler595]

Ohhh! that’s splendid aye !

[@-AGM83-]

Funniest shit I have heard in years.

[@BiggZigg]

Actually getting a notification close to when a video is released. Slack down around the world. Perfect timing.

[@dt7717]

Hm. I’m still getting them a day late Sorry bad time zone joke I think Aussie is great and know it’s not a day behind

[@castle9165]

I love how the insane fever dream that is 11:36 is the almost logical culmination of a 12-minute video about reviews of hike routes.

[@iBaLL00Nex]

Last time I was this early, Scomo was still on holiday.

[@AtlasFlynn]

Joe is either truly insane or an amazing shitposter with a very specific audience. (REDACTED)/5 stars

[@igotsolipsism]

Atlas Flynn definitely a shitposter. Jordies got fooled.

[@TadRaunch]

Very obvious shitposter.

[@leowillwin2482]

6:03 - Bondrewd best dad theme kicks in and I'm getting the feeling that searching through Facebook reviews is jordies version of the abyss. I mean it's similar in the way where the deeper you go the harder it is to come back and I swear you're past the point of no return where you will not retain your humanity if you attempt to leave.

[@Ledabot]

The first layer is bone daddies theme? It's good shit regardless.

[@Nostalgamagic]

Editor slipping some weeb tunes under the radar. Jordies anime reviews when

[@joshhorley2116]

@@Nostalgamagic I'm glad someone else noticed this filthy weebery

[@TotoDG]

Every review in this video: Old Man Yells at Nature Walks.

[@griffinrails]

as someone who lives near Wodi-Wodi, [REDACTED]

[@S1ekerrun]

the Made in Abyss soundtrack was the last thing I expected to hear on this channel

[@Ledabot]

Jordies clearly knows Penkin. All of aus is 1 town.

[@ThorAndMjollnir]

Right? So jarring. Nice Pickup!

[@harchierplebbington9397]

Ledabot *Jordan’s editor does, by the way which track was it?

[@S1ekerrun]

@@harchierplebbington9397 'The First Layer' from the OST album

[@itookallthenames]

Wilson's Prom guys guys Imran, Steve-go out in the evening and after dusk to see the wombats. they aren't out in the middle of the day in the sun because they're NOT STUPID

[@ChrisAnderson42]

They're also Nocturnal lol

[@itookallthenames]

@@ChrisAnderson42 There IS that too

[@SpongebobSquarepants-dz5ub]

This thumbnail is just the kinda thing I wanna see when I first open KZbin...

[@maggieb902]

I used to do the wodi wodi track AS A CHILD. Also, there's a fun little entrance where you used to have to jump a fence and piss bolt through a paddock where an extremely angry cow would chase you as you screamed for your life. Good times.

[@redrefrigerator8458]

I know this is about the worst walks but you’re still taunting me by reminding me how much I miss going outside

[@thelizardqueen9541]

Wow, they just picked a nature trail thinking it would be like a walk down to the shops? Look, I'm fat and out-of-shape and I still managed a 4-hour hike without much trouble because I was prepared. It was for 'intermediate fitness levels', so I was a bit worried but wanted to give it a go. I'm not a hiker so I did the research first and knew what I was getting into. It's not hard to do a bit of research on NAMED nature trails. Christ, we HAVE THE INTERNET.

[@poolguycoolguy1597]

Love the switch between content >< been a subscriber since you had 25k subs - still love it dude.

[@Okayletsg0]

I’ve been to the wildlife park and as a conservationist this place is epic- don’t listen to Imran and Peter you just have to look

[@LockeRobsta]

I worked for a furniture company some years back and had a customer leave us a Google review that began with the sentence "I had a truly DIRE experience..."

[@TheIronArmenianakaGIHaigs]

6:05 the background music gave me PTSD

[@serxka]

Indeed

[@michaelwalker552]

He must be a fan, he's referenced it in the past

[@cameronbradley8390]

Wilson's prom is actually an amazing place with tons of wildlife. Great walks as well.

[@itookallthenames]

right? and i've never seen so many fucken WOMBATS

[@happyavocado8956]

Mate that was a great vid, i loved it! It would be awesome if you could do another few like this. Keep up the great work champ!

[@kidcharlemagne3044]

That is the single worst John Cleese impression I’ve ever heard.

[@kidcharlemagne3044]

Surk whatever you say

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@kidcharlemagne3044 don't listen to some d**khead named "Surk" (WTF?) You were right about the impression and he really should work on that. Hell, I know that whole bit of dialogue better AND do a better Cleese and I'm a middle-aged housewife. Also, you combine a love of Floyd and Bowie, so never change, mate (pretty sure I've spoken to you before actually but i hope you just take today's kudos in isolation and run with it, champ).

[@kingkyle9349]

the world needs a re-enactment of Joe's hike filmed in a similar style to how Picnic at Hanging Rock was

[@iwantmyhalo]

Never expected to hear a made in abyss soundtrack in a friendlyjordies vid, but golly gosh darn it you’ve done it Jordan

[@Emdiggydog]

Museums are comedy gold for this sorta [REDACTED]. All the whingey [REDACTED] about the exhibits, plus gift shop abuse as well.

[@mrmcbeardy9268]

one of your best yet mate! 💯🤙 Had me in histerics 😂 man, how do some of these humans even function? 🙊🤔🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@DragonK890]

Hey Conor! Hope you are doing well. I remember doing this bushwalk with a couple of the Austi crew. Good times! Amazing to see you as an editor for Jordies, nice work and fun editing. Kees

[@tysonbricknell9542]

I live near Wodi Wodi track, this was hilarious to see "high class walker's" point of view

[@misscalming166]

Dude my school had reviews when you googled it and like the one review was “had a good time, food service was slow” and I just- yes it takes a long time to prepare the children for consumption.

[@hennygoblin5575]

Google reviews on Australian universities!! It's the international students or failing domestic students complaining!

[@1mBearman]

Fuck these are great. On RMIT "Worst university in one word".

[@godfrey2698]

props to the editor for this one, that wodi wodi edit was great.

[@theonlycatonice]

6:03 Made In Abyss music? Now that's an instant like for you!

[@Kobokhop22]

bruh i thought i recognised that

[@midderbean4021]

Redacted is not the right word Joe Exotic, it should have been [WITHTRACTED]

[@liamshaw8742]

I like how they are expecting the animals to stand in a circle around them.

[@simongoode7025]

Dude, did u do sound proofing as well when u got the new mic? Sounds great

[@verticalleaf3159]

OMG i was actually so surprised when you said valley of the giants because i live like an hour away from there and it's actually such a beautiful place if you ever get a chance you have to check it out

[@willebuoy3636]

That long winded sour review is hilarious, sounds like they were upset to find there was dirt all over the ground. It reminds me of someone I heard about who came to a bush cabin for the weekend with some friends and his girlfriend. When they arrived, she looks out the car window and says "it looks too dirty, I'm not coming" and stayed in the car the whole weekend. Whaddya mean you're not coming, we're here! get outta the car and walk around a bit, take a look at least? Nope. Stayed in the car for two nights while they drank beers, cooked food on the fire mere metres away. city slickers gonna slick

[@Snowie7826]

These reviews remind me of my thirteen-year-old self; getting dragged along to places like this and being determined to be miserable

[@ApexJaggi]

The music at 6:03 is from Made in Abyss, composed by Kevin Penkin, for anybody wondering.

[@Magz215]

I don’t comment much on your videos however this has been the funniest subject you’ve done for awhile to me. I appreciate this.

[@arbitrarySalamander]

7:15 he definitely wrote this review in his notes app on the hike back 😂

[@eetthedust]

"..is possibly a paedophile" made me laugh so fucking much

[@유성재-g7b]

Jordies rocks up to a nudist beach, looks left and sees Isil up at the nearby lighthouse, then looks right and sees Joe Exotic slipping over a rock while his girlfriend yells at him. "Yep, this should be good day."

[@BaMenace]

Worst bbq/playgrounds in Australia. "Trent from punchbowl" : yeah fully sick ey?

[@ev3977]

6:03 I noticed you used a song from the anime Made in Abyss "The First Layer" :)

[@fuzzlebuzzles9524]

There is a man who lives in the bush, nearby Katandra reserve. We see him carry buckets of cement and wood, as he wanders solemnly into the foliage. Last year a man got arrested for flashing completely naked, on one of the hikes. We don't know if it was the same man.... wait what was that at the end of video.

[@charliefleming6926]

Last time I went to the Prom I got v drunk and started cackling because a family of tourists were trying to pet a wombat and it was keeping out of reach with the least amount of effort possible. Don't think I've ever seen such a disdainful expression on a wombats face before.

[@chrisgate-fe2jf]

Best fun ever sitting on my deck watching people pull up on front road , I love on the side road and the corner is a bush walk that would be lucky if in a straight line to be 100 metres . And to see enthusiast walkers with all the bells and whistles pull up thinking they're going on an adventure . Then to pop out the other side within 3 MNS looking across at me watching them loosing my mind😂😂😂

[@gabestockdale2595]

this is one of the greatest friendly jordies videos i have ever seen

[@MajesticAquariumsTV]

I got a one star from a guy that doesn’t keep fish for not having enough display tanks. My store has more display tanks than any other store. What did he think this was a free Sydney aquariums!

[@Boa796]

Made in Abyss OST.... whoever is editing this, bravo, you absolute star.

[@lissy2200]

I used to live in Belrose next to a trail and my family forced me to do the 2h hikes!!! I would have given a 2 star review too. The only acceptable one is long reef around the golf course when it’s not too hot. Go for a swim instead!

[@edbreen1289]

try the boxvail trak in mittagong. the decline is epic but i did it in reverse. 3hrs to get to the bottom. its 4pm and getting dark. the gradient was near impossible. 200m took over 1hr and then 1hr to the car. i did see a Yowie though and did not die. 5 stars

[@sihyuanwu5492]

I can hear the obesity oozing out from Joe Exotic's soliloquy. I've been to Wodi Wodi, even a moderately fit person would be able to complete that hike. I hope for the sake of him and his girlfriend that they've found a way to live a more active healthy lifestyle.

[@reddare2386]

I’m specifically not fit and have a connective tissue disorder but I’ve done Wodi Wodi 😂

[@thegatorhator6822]

Joe is honestly a fucking king, I wanna see this man publish an entire novel of negative reviews.

[@jasdre28]

The reviews of Centrelink service centres on Google Maps can be pretty amusing too.

[@sargesacker2599]

Joe deserves to be in the great hall of Aussie legends.

[@mun6832]

brilliant keep these segments up pls jordes

[@tsopmocful1958]

I think that review of Wodi was some of the most creative trolling I've ever heard. My legs ached after it too.

[@bingoccolon]

i went to the prom wildlife walk, was actually very nice. there were emus and wombats and kangaroos just kinda walking around and hanging out. there were many flies tho

[@vihmaussivenitaja]

I guess midday is not rly the time to go, all the smart animals would be in the shade somewhere, apart from the flies :D

[@Dansean84]

Love how a just finish writing a Google review, literally change to KZbin app and this is first video.

[@timothyhawken9266]

My favourite reviewer ever. Is neil vizgoft. He is a true blue labor voter from Berkeley in wollongong and has reviewed over 50 places in the local area and reviews petrol stations, fishing ramps, shops that he hasn't even been to and fuck me, he gave my gym a 1 star just because his GPS gave him an ad for it while he was driving past. Seriously this guy has been baked in steel dust since he was 16 and has never been outside of the local area probably in his whole life. Go give him some love. You wont regret it

[@mikh9202]

Dr Jordan, please tell us your thoughts on Allan Jones (aka mr Garrison), retiring.

[@Podperson]

I've been up Wodi Wodi, grew up about 5 minutes away from the bottom of the trail, takes about 1hr to reach the top, only 30 mins on the way back. Really Nice hike, good exercise, would recommend 10/10. (actually being legit)

[@le13dan]

I've had a theory about this for a little while now, ever since Yelp was a thing really. That eventually all things that can be reviewed which is basically everything, will eventually have random negative comments/reviews on it just cause people and such. Over time this will build and begin to skew public opinion I guess. Even on the most benign and miscellaneous things.

[@Bear-gk4vw]

PUBLIC TOILETS // ROADSIDE REST STOPS

[@davewithadrum]

Shannon Lysien THIS!

[@davewithadrum]

Get yr hands dirty shanksy cuz, and dive into the poo reviews!

[@ProfessorTurnipAlpha]

this is 'Top 10 Cutest Dogs' tier content

[@thespamdance311]

This is a genuine Google review of the Old Gippstown heritage park in Moe: 'Filthy men doing filthy things in the toilets'.

[@looxspoox118]

Holy shit 6:04 is from made in abyss (anime one of my favs) I never knew you would like anime or an editor of yours

[@jaskaranbawa3917]

A video on the worst Toilets please. I was quite bemused to discover quite recently that there is google reviews for public toilets.

[@JordyValentine]

Hey my bike was stolen! Okay sir, did you have the bike locked up? No... So you left your bike laying around in the open and someone took it?

[@YachuriS2]

Why do I have the feeling, that you did the whole walk again, just so you could get the ending shots for this video 😂

[@Funkin_Disher]

Dave’s dinnerz: Melbourne pizza edition. Get on it mate!

[@littlerelief5029]

I've really enjoyed reading AUS Post store reviews, a local one to me (Morningside, QLD) really hates someone named Margaret...

[@littlerelief5029]

Public toilet reviews are fun too

[@mrtang9401]

No way. I was in a pub months ago and there was a guy spruiking that he was going to make a "girthy and at length review" of his walk at Wodi Wodi... Please Joe.. Let it be you...

[@rebeccatompkins]

Tune in next week for another (potential winter shrinkage) episode of Jordie's Flashcards.

[@yoyay123]

this needs to become a consistent series

[@miskihockn5792]

Made in abyss soundtrack though? i really didn't expect that, who is your editor? 6:02

[@Gazatron81]

this was one of your best Jordan... lmfao at Joe, hes next level

[@wisl0972]

I have been to the prom wildlife walk, there were at least 30 - 40 kangaroos and emus and like 50 wombats

[@chooky42]

Just FYI, you can also look up google reviews of North Korean labour camps, such as this gem: "this camp is amazing! with the amazing meals, and the great classes, we only lost a few kids a day, teacher had anger issues. the meals were a nice, we got some cabbage water, and some mashed potatoes, stay away from the potatoes. once you get over the smell of death and burning corpses, its great! i got my morning beating and nightly! super fun. and the kids loved it, loved it so much, they never came back with us... (10/10) would go again!!

[@Deathaven]

WA has a reef?!? Well shit.

[@TajSingh]

7:02 It's like the sign responding to his comment.

[@r0ookie]

this needs a dedicated channel

[@HaakonX]

Putting my hand up for Reviews of Aussie Courts. If you want to kill some time read the reviews for your local courthouse

[@Missmonnn]

You need to do one on restaurant reviews and retail reviews. Some of them are outrageous!!

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

Can you do a video of reviews of local council tips please? I'll start things off. Whitehorse council: manned by a bunch of fat, grumpy, hairy, one nation voters. ⭐ Monash council: manned by some really helpful and nice people. Always happy to round down. Accepts almost all different types of rubbish. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@nzlawless]

I enjoy reading reviews for random road side cafe's in the middle of no where. The sorts of places that mostly server truckers and other long haul drivers. You know, the places you expect to get just a little sick after eating at. The reviews are always fucking insane, people seem to think they're in for a fine dining experience.

[@felixstolz4619]

Found it pretty funny to see what reviews were left on playgrounds etc in the area by parents. Also reading the negative reviews on extremely expensive hotels. Normally left by someone who has spent a huge amount of money to experience something normally enjoyed by the super wealthy were money is not really a factor. When the expectation for a place you literally just sleep and possibly eat has not magically exceeded inline with the ridiculous price tag to the point of whatever they had in mind some people really seem to go in on it in a hilarious fashion

[@ScubesFTW]

Barefoot bushwalking is pretty rough. I recommend taking some shoes in case your footsies get sore. A bit of deet should keep the leeches away.