Why You Should Get Married When You're Young

[@ntmn8444]

To my people who are in their late 20s and early 30s and still not married: you haven’t failed at life. It hasn’t happened for you yet, but trust the process. There is still time. Do not seek people out of desperation. Always seek someone who shares your values. If you want a marriage that will last, that’s the key!

[@TheTewjr]

Yes, don't get married just for the sake of getting married!!!!

[@destinypratt7761]

Thank you.

[@JONPIAASU98]

Thank you for posting this. I'm 24 and working on getting into law school. Haven't met the right person yet. I know its just a matter of timing, but its a struggle. I've wanted to get Married since I was 13 years old. I trust the Lord's will and timing to prepare me for my wife. Its just a matter of patience.

[@terriealdridge]

Wow! Definitely don't agree with this take. Most people I know who got married very young have divorced.

[@nathanielleeson7263]

Lol maybe we just don't want to get married? I know I prefer being single. Marriage and relationships are a waste of time.

[@leahbrening1101]

Here is the thing. Everybody that talks about single people seem to believe it is all by choice. A lot of us wanted to get married and start a family (young I might add) but it never happened. What about us? We believe in family, but it just never happened for us. I never met the guy in church like I grew being told I would. I dont go to clubs or bars: not my style. I dont do dating apps: all my friends have horror stories. The guy I loved and would have married if he asked, was emotionally unavailable and not interested. People like me seem to get lumped into a group of extreme people, that I dont share any values with. And it is assumed we are going to be so unhappy as we age, because we didnt get the things we wanted in life. I was extremely sad for 15 years because of this mindset, and finally I decided enough was enough. I can't control life or my future. I need to learn to be content and find joy in my situation. I am in my thirties now. And it really doesn't bother me anymore. I find beauty in the relationships I do have. My family and my friends. Life is so much more than marriage and children. Even though those are wonderful things. Not everybody gets the privilege of having them and they shouldn't be shamed for not having those things either.

[@alqoshgirl]

I’m sorry about that. You do hear that a lot and it’s sad. I will say that I disagree with you not trying online. I met my husband on catholicmatch. And we were in different countries (US-Netherlands). As much as the internet has added misery to the world it also allowed for the whole world to be available to you. Online is a great way to also weed out people that are not aligned with your worldview. My husbands first message was that he was seeking a spouse and wanted to get to know me better. I don’t think I could’ve been matched with a better person than him, he’s just amazing and I’m very blessed. but I also know I wouldn’t have met anyone if I didn’t put myself out there. I was 22 and never pursued until I went online and met my husband. Like you, I didn’t go out clubbing, I was working/studying in a female oriented field, no people in church. Online was the best way and a total blessing for me

[@abbie9078]

If I could like your comment a thousand times, I would. Thank you, Leah!

[@leahbrening1101]

@@alqoshgirl I am happy to hear it worked out for you. I know women that were date raped and misled into believing that the men they were meeting had good intentions, only to find out they did not. I know that is not the story for everybody and I know one women that met her husband through it as well, but I have heard more negative stories than good. I am not a huge app person anyways, that is another factor that plays into not using them. I am truly happy that you found a a good man who loves you though! 💗💗💗💗

[@leahbrening1101]

@@abbie9078 thanks Abbie! I hear singledom being talked about by the feminist types on a very extreme end that I do not agree with, but then there is another train of thought coming from those who are considered right wing thinkers like the alpha male types, and even people that I respect like Jordan Peterson and the Daily Wire crew. Telling us we are going to be miserable as we get older. And it just doesnt sit well with me. No, no I am not going to be miserable, I have worked through my misery. It is called letting go and letting God. Nothing in my life has gone the way I would have projected it for myself. I wanted the husband and the kids in my early twenties. But I didn't get that. Am I supposed to pout and feel sorry for myself the rest of my life? Or should I pull myself up by the bootstraps and do what I have to do to live life? Do I still get sad? Yah sometimes. But very far and few between. My life and worth as a human being is not found soley in wifehood or motherhood. My life has meaning because God gave me meaning. Paul actually encouraged Christians to stay single if they had enough self control to remain so. You could go about the "Father's business" a lot easier not being tied down to a family and home. And no that is not a statement to say single people are better than married people either, family is a ministry in itself, it just means we still have worth and can play an important role in life. Many single and widowed women funded the early church because they had jobs of their own and were able to give to the people spreading the gospel. Sometimes singles are able to save up some extra money that they might not be able to save if they had to provide for a family and use it enrich someone elses life. Maybe you get to be the grandchild that gets to help take care of a grandparent in their old age because your cousins all have families of their own that they need to be there for. Maybe you get to be the friend that comforts your other friend who feels alone as well. These are all beautiful and fulfilling relationships. The Old Testament speaks a lot to the importance of the nuclear family and rightfully so, but the New Testament speaks a lot to the importance of brotherhood. If you are a believer in Christ no matter your age or marital status we are on an even playing field. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and we all have a purpose in His Kingdom. If you aren't a believer in Christ then this might sound weird and crazy. Lol. But it is so powerful to me. I am done feeling sorry for myself. I spent my early years doing it, and what a huge waste of my energy. Lol

[@abbie9078]

@@leahbrening1101 I am a believer, so none of it sounds crazy to me at all, just encouraging! I agree one hundred percent with everything you’ve said, and I’ve been praying for God’s peace about my situation. Slowly but surely, He’s been soothing my hurts and changing my perspective. I’m 26 now, and I can honestly say that compared to where I was just three years ago, there’s a radical difference. I’ve even told God in my quiet time that if He’s calling me to singleness, I’m okay with that. The Abbie of three years ago would never have prayed that! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me and type out all your thoughts. They are truly very much appreciated!

[@thelifequest2656]

A group of men, talking about marriage and actually saying beautiful things about it is so so soo very rare. This is my favorite video of all time. I have never heard men talk about marriage like this, it’s always women. More content like this, empower men to love and care for their marriages.

[@colepriceguitar1153]

It’s cause men are being demonized more and more over time and when marriage is discussed, the things that a women gets out of it are emphasized more than the what the man gets out of it. And in secular relationships and even some Christian relationships, men actually do get the shorter end of the stick.

[@Ashbringer36]

You won’t find many men talking good about Marriage because more and more men are starting to see what a raw deal the institution of Marriage really is Never sign a contract where the other party has incentive to break it

[@TheUnderDogUzumaki]

Maybe they don't talk about it positively in general because the negatives far out weigh the positives my friend. Ever thought about that?? ✨🤞

[@Traumatised311]

Ben Shapiro is a good boy

[@JeffCaplan313]

This is grifter marketing material. The reason men don't talk like this is because men aren't getting paid to talk idealistically. Realistically, modern women are trash and offer a man nothing but stress.

[@rhettnotlink]

I was married at 21 and my wife was 19 we are 4 years strong! We have a beautiful girl of 6 months. One of the hardest things we’ve witnessed over the years is young couples we know getting divorced. It’s far to common to accept divorce as a means to resolve relationship problems. I’m currently doing my masters in marriage and family counseling. My goal is to help curb the culture of divorce and promote marriage. Edit: I’m so grateful to everyone and their positive comments. Wherever you are in life right now, stay strong and enjoy the ride. ❤️

[@justinthathamkulam3002]

Thank you sir for your generous contribution. May God bless you in Jesus name Amen

[@dr_dave512]

@@justinthathamkulam3002 robots are the future!

[@dr_dave512]

Robots are the future!!

[@deadartist8827]

Most of the time it's the woman who wants the divorce. My wife wanted one and there was nothing on earth I could do to change her mind.

[@alwayspooh1588]

A wedding is a day, a marriage takes a lifetime of work. Keep going!

[@corineusa1454]

I was 19, my husband was 21. We had a formal wedding. Everthing was beautiful. We waited 5 years to have our 1st baby & went on to have 4 more. We divorced after 27 years. He met & left me for someone else. That was 20 years ago. I never remarried or even dated, I still had 2 kids under 13. I was heartbroken but I have NEVER regretted the marriage. I got 5 beautiful kids that are such a comfort to me in my old age.

[@alwayspooh1588]

Corine, your husband was a fool! I have little respect for men who leave their wives and children for someone else. Till death do us part is not taken as seriously as it implies.

[@winningvictory]

God bless you!

[@Rosie_C]

I can relate! I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 19. Had a nice church wedding, did well for a couple years, then when we found out we were expecting out first baby, he kinda lost it and quit going to church and just gave up. I ended up having a miscarriage and he went on to find someone else and is remarried. It’s not my choice to be alone now, but I choose to be thankful for God giving me my single years back to serve Him and I have not regretted getting married. I thought it was great that we got married so young and were able to grow together - there were many benefits to it. If I ever get remarried I know that I will be miles ahead from all I have learned. *EDIT: I mean no disrespect to compare my situation to yours, I only meant that I can relate to not regretting getting married young despite the marriage ending when I did not want it to.

[@frankkarielee]

God bless you and heal all your brokenheartedness.

[@kosmos7525]

You were 19, 27 years later you got divorced, that was 20 years ago and you have kids under 13? How is that possible or am I missing something here 😄

[@Aerialsky524]

I love hearing this. My husband and I are newlyweds. He's 22 and I'm 23. We have been best friends since we were 13. We are both proud to say that we had our very first kiss ever to each other at the wedding altar. Unheard of I know but soooo glad we did it! 💜

[@danieleromonsele]

Happy for you guys, and inspired!

[@min5899]

Sounds perfect 😍

[@nbamk5625]

That’s amazing well done. I pray God blesses your marriage

[@solomonchege2986]

Now Please Stick Together !!!!

[@guillermocas2877]

Update

[@simeonsmit6623]

I'm engaged to be married this December. My Fiancée is 19 and I 21. Many of our friends and family think we're nuts, but we know full well this is what we need to be doing and what God has ordained. Very encouraging, thanks for posting!

[@christianhawley9549]

That’s great man, keep ur marriage strong!

[@mht5875]

Congratulations!

[@bloxnbrixgamer61]

Is she a virgin?

[@Lz-cy5gx]

Perfect age to get married!

[@rohitrajan8705]

Don't invite those who called u nuts.

[@bryankerr9174]

Married when wife and I were 40. Lucky to have healthy kids. I wish my mom could have met them. The main reason I give for marrying young: 1) your kids might know their grandparents, 2) you might know your grandchildren.

[@mildmayheadless5217]

Couldn't agree more. I'm approaching 40 and still single. Gotta agree with Jordan Peterson, I'm blowing it. Messed up a relationship I had earlier and it haunts me to this day. Glad you managed to get hitched, it's a cold world out here.

[@Lina-lq7jm]

Plus... it's easier to run after your kids when you are in your 20s than if you are in your 40s. LOL

[@alqoshgirl]

Thank God you had kids at least. I agree with the grandparents part and the reason I wanted to be a young mom. My parents are only 58 and 63. By the time I’m 50, I’ll have 4 adult children who I hope marry young too. It’s not all in your control though. May God bless your family!

[@MashyManny1022]

My grandma got married at 18 and had my dad at 19. She’s seen 10 grandchildren (including me) from her 3 sons and she’s only 71. :D

[@artsygal1923]

@@MashyManny1022 my grandma is 85 doing well for her age and has 9 great grandchildren. Unfortunately my mom passed away unexpectedly at 59 under semi questionable medical care and only got to meet one grandchild with one on the way. She loved being “Noni” to my nephew and he loved her.

[@Coffee4commonsense]

" You grow up together" is the perfect description for my marriage as well. My husband and I were 20 and 22 when we got married. Over 30+ years together. Our oldest daughter is now 21 and would love to get married but the dating culture now is to wait till you're 30. I pray that she finds a man who is ready for marriage and family.

[@jenniferibarra7737]

You have to pray over her future husband God bless u

[@dylanhernandez696]

It'll happen, she just needs to use her intuition and date potential partners

[@christopherchinchilla]

It's not. Your daughter is going to be alone at 30.

[@NatAlia-pt9iu]

Maybe she can find a man, who is a little bit older than here. I was 23 when I met my partner and he was 43. We had children as I was 25.

[@KB-un3bt]

@@NatAlia-pt9iu Gross, most young women are not attracted to old men. It's like being with your grandpa. A beautiful young woman wants a young fit handsome young man not some old dried up Santa.

[@elleh6642]

Keep in mind, it's not always that simple as "get married early" especially with the total downfall of culture in my generation/age group (25 - early 30s). With the rise of mindless dating apps, hook up culture and most people who aren't practicing Christians/Catholics, it is incredibly difficult for some of us who want marriage BUT cannot seem to find partners with mutual values and religious beliefs to us. It genuinely makes me sad.

[@traetl1177]

I totally agree. I’m a 22 year old guy in college and it’s disheartening that no one wants to date for marriage. On top of that very few share my morals and values. I’m praying one day I’ll find the right person

[@elleh6642]

@@traetl1177 Stay strong! You are only 22 and I have no doubt you will find a beautiful partner in the next few years! Stick to your morals and always have a good heart. Best of luck! I'm in Australia, where I feel like fewer people in my generation (mid 20s/early 30s) are close to God. Which is my biggest challenge. Here is hoping!

[@alqoshgirl]

Use the internet to your benefit though. My husband and I met on catholicmatch and we were in different countries. Him in the US and me in the Netherlands. I was 22 and he was 26. That was 10 years ago now and I’m sure the website is even better now. The world is literally at your feet and you can weed out people that are not serious about marriage this way. It worked for us. Neither one of us expected to find love like this. We signed up out of curiosity but there are websites out there. And many people I meet tell me they met their spouse online. Yes the world has changed, but don’t give up hope. Keep putting yourself out there and stay true to your beliefs. God will bless you eventually! My husband likes to say that God brought us together, because we’re even from the same ethnic background which is very rare in this world. He’s right it was miraculous.

[@elleh6642]

@@alqoshgirl Thank you for your kind words and advice! I'll definitely check it out. Never giving up hope!

[@alwayspooh1588]

Elle, I agree with you, but finding that just right someone is akin to finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Perhaps there is no 'someone' for everyone, or perhaps marriage and a spouse is reserved only for some people. The faithful ones, like me, are doomed to be miserable and lonely.

[@abrahamflores2566]

I love my life. Met my wife at 16 and she was 15. Married after 5 years together and now married for the last 8 years. 2 beautiful babies, no drama, building wealth together, live with best friend, peace of mind, grew up together, vacationed together. In summary we really need to teach the younger generation how beautiful marriage is when you grow up together and keep each other safe.

[@johnmichaeladelman]

👏🏼♥️🎉

[@melvinsaji2805]

Wow Christ bless 🙏

[@BillyBob-bo9tn]

That's awesome. Have more kids!!

[@Tyler-jp4vz]

Ew

[@Tyler-jp4vz]

Only one girl for my whole life... lol

[@samuelcohen2362]

I'm 25 and unmarried. I don't plan on getting married until AT LEAST 30. What the men in this video do not understand are the unrealistic standards women have for men today, standards a man can only meet in his 30s. Edit: Now I'm 26, and still unmarried 😅

[@wasidanatsali6374]

I knew by the time I was 14 I wanted to be a father. I got married at 19. I’m in my early 40’s now, my kids are almost through college, and my wife is hotter than ever. I met my wife fishing. She was a good angler, had a wicked sense of humor, and could go to the bathroom in the woods without making a big production out of it. Likes fishing, funny, and low maintenance, she checked all the boxes for me. Our last baby she was out fishing the day after she had him. Lol She’s little but she’s tough.

[@FR-tb7xh]

Ummmm … do you have a brother?

[@alwayspooh1588]

This is brilliant!

[@steveo5763]

Lucky 🍀 guy!

[@leahbrening1101]

Sounds like you hit the jackpot!

[@CosmicPotato740]

Damn she goes fishing AFTER giving birth?! I want that power! 😂

[@rigell2764]

Married my wife of 21 when I was 23. Best decision of my life. My only regret was not meeting her sooner 🙂

[@zxasdfx]

Eww. Wannabe groomer!

[@combativeThinker]

@@zxasdfx ????

[@Whatisthis438]

@@zxasdfx it’s a 2 year difference

[@olsavage9143]

@@Whatisthis438 Pretty sure *that* was the joke.

[@rmacarolabella]

my husband tells me this that he wishes he had met me sooner. it is the sweetest of thing. 23 yrs married. I was 20 and he was 23

[@allysonkho2017]

The problem is there are a lot of us girls out there who WANTED to get married young. However, finding a man who wanted to marry us was damn impossible. I saved myself for marriage....I was 34 by the time I got married and believe me, it wasn't by choice. There are a lot of men out there who have been taught that good girls are boring.

[@kroenkeout708]

What a damn lie. If anything, they are hard to find.

[@allysonkho2017]

@KroenkeOut haha I wish it had been a lie. However the 22 likes I got are living proof that I was not the only lonely girl out there being passed over for the bad girls of this world.

[@tylerk3616]

At my age of 29, I actually WANT the boring girl. Where I live in Toronto they are hard to find. Every girl here is full of drama and baggage and problems. I’d LOVE to find a boring and sweet cookie cutter girl.

[@tylerk3616]

Advocating for marriage is like advocating for Diabetes, we know the stats, and they aren’t in your favour. Best not to get it.

[@sebastiancorrales]

? I don’t understand, there’s lots of guys that want to get married but want to test the waters first . Many of us are disadvantaged so have you ever considered that you overlooked guys that were short, boring , on the spectrum, different culture , introverted etc. I’m 25 still no luck with women but I see that women my age chase tall tattood bad boys that “don’t want to marry them” and forget about them after 30 . Most women after 30 that I meet that aren’t married carry baggage. Idk who to trust with the right way to find her”. if I find someone cool but if it doesn’t happen than both of “us” were never good enough for each other.

[@texas2step266]

My husband and I were 20 when we married, and he joined the Army one year later. (We had both grown up in military families.) We did finish growing up together, supporting each other in jobs, education, and various activities. We were never able to have children, but then God led us to use our free time to serve in our parish churches, and in volunteering with various charities. On our next anniversary, we will celebrate 48 years together.

[@repentantheart1518]

Why didn't you adopt? Just curious that's all.

[@texas2step266]

@@repentantheart1518 We considered it and prayed about it, and sought counsel from our parish priest, especially when my junkie, alcoholic sister had a baby girl. (We didn't adopt that child because of the trouble my sister would have caused, but she was adopted by a wonderful couple in another state.) There is a variety of reasons we did not end up adopting, and are at peace with our decision. My brother and his wife had one child, and we are her godparents. She and I became very close, and I was there for her when her very difficult mother would make her life miserable. She became a wonderful young woman, married a good man, and we are now besotted with their first child.

[@FyaaahS]

God loves you and your choices, I am sure of it. If children never came into your life then obviously some other plan was made for you and it seems you embraced it. 48 years together must be celebrated! Some people can't find common ground for even 5 minutes and you guys found life for 48 years; I Love It! Never forget that everything in this world is needed to make it complete, god loves everything and you should not judge. A nihilist would explain it as: "It is what it is." aswell as the atheist that would say: "There is no meaning to what is happening and it will happen regardless of what you think about it." Anyway I don't really know what I wanna say... Do what makes you feel good and avoid bothering others while doing so is what Im trying to say I guess

[@texas2step266]

@@FyaaahS Thank you for your lovely reply. Our 48 years, and many more to come, I pray, are due to the great grace of God. He gave us the gift of understanding that - with very rare exceptions - marriage is for life. When you don't feel like you love your spouse, grace helps you remember that you promised to love, to do something for him or her as an act of love, and the next thing you know, you're feeling the love again. God bless you, and God bless all married couples.

[@bythegrace7204]

I was 18; he was on the verge of 22. When Ben said 'you grow up together,' I felt that. We truly have. We've been through hard stuff and had dark days. But we are one, holding strong with a 37th anniversary in a month.

[@oliviadimock8202]

wow!!! thats so good to hear you two are strong together! i aspire to have a relationship like that :)

[@illmeeillmee9373]

@@oliviadimock8202 smh

[@illmeeillmee9373]

true love doent happen at those ages. Most divorces happen with the age groups youve mentioned actually! you can grow together at ANY age! some ppl spend years together without it being quality years.

[@illmeeillmee9373]

@@oliviadimock8202 smh

[@oliviadimock8202]

@@illmeeillmee9373 no no i agree with you too!! i reckon everyone's timing is different 😄

[@jaughnekow]

Honestly, get married when you're ready.

[@yeshalloween]

While I would have loved to have married my husband younger, I didn’t meet him until I met him. I was 29 when I got married. I had my first baby at age 30 and I just had my fourth baby at age 40. There are pros and cons to everything and like I said, I would’ve loved to have skipped the messy dating phase I meet my husband earlier in life but I didn’t. And he was definitely worth holding out for. He’s the most amazing father and husband I could have hoped for and he’s the one I’m truly in love with. So if you haven’t met the person you want to marry yet don’t feel ashamed. Everyone’s path is not the same. I’ve gotten plenty of negative feedback for having a baby at age 40 but he’s no mistake. He is a wonderful miracle. You don’t know what your life path might look like!

[@forlife84]

Beautiful! I have a very similar story. I have 3 living kids and sadly miscarried my 4th. Hoping I might be able to have one more (I'm 38).

[@RetiredPikachu007]

I usually disagree with people getting married so young because many do not know what they want and they end up hurting one another. But there's many reasons why that could happen. I think if you meet the one that fits you, who matches your goals and makes you better then stick to them (of course within reasonable age). I wish I met mine when I was younger. He never changed, was a good person then and still the same now. The only pain I feel is not meeting him sooner because I suffered so much. Jesus was my strength of course and God knows everything but as a human... I wish I met him sooner because he's made my life so much better.

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

I wish my man existed:( I am 33 :(

[@RetiredPikachu007]

@@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner 😔

[@mihailwarsavski8849]

‘’I didn’t meet him until I met him. 😐😐

[@Girlgonewise]

I LOVE this conversation! My husband was my first and only boyfriend. We were married at 20, started courting at 17. Everyone thought we were crazy and were too young. Now here we are at age 36 with 6 kids and would not trade our lives for anything.

[@SarahR2D2]

Amen. Many arrows in the quiver

[@wayando]

Very beautiful. You should teach your experience whenever you can ... At minimum, I hope you children follow you footsteps and have stable families.

[@SarahR2D2]

@DJ Pauly D Life expectancy used to be 36. So everyone married young

[@dominicstarr3065]

Thank you for this!! I'm not married, but I am now 19 dating a boy I have been best friends with since I was 13 . . . people keep saying we're too young to know who we want to be with, and that we should 'keep ourselves open to other options' . . . but I've prayed and discerned about it and I am nearly certain that I will marry him after college. People have been so discouraging recently, and reading your comment helped me feel more confident in my thoughts so Thank you!!!

[@Girlgonewise]

@@dominicstarr3065 Yes, young marriages are not at all encouraged and that’s unfortunate. I waited until our honeymoon to have sex and I have no regrets. The only thing I missed out on is trauma and regrets lol. My husband and I are incredibly close and I would not change out relationship for anything. It hasn’t always been easy, we have our ups and downs but it makes us stronger. Why wait til after college?

[@frostmaiden85]

I'm a 37 year old virgin spinster. Never had a boyfriend, never had a date. I'm still unable to like anyone. I don't feel close to anyone. I want a man who'll melt my insides. Not because of the way he looks but with his voice, his speech, his mannerisms and mimicks, his aura and soul energy, his gentleness, his godliness, his good Christian faith, his solidness, his calmness, his childlike joy, his benevolence... I want to love, but I'm unable to. I just take solace in helping my parents out with chores and if I don't die young, I'll gladly be there for them when they're much older than they are now, taking care of them when they are frail. I'm sorry that I am unable to give them grandchildren. But the life of a spinster is meaningful too. The most important thing is to be of service to others in keeping with God's will. If you can't help and empower yourself, then maybe you can help others.

[@lee926]

Change your declaration of spinster & call on godly love to come your way.🙏🏽

[@tessah.7641]

We started dating at 18, married at 24, and now have 3 beautiful kids at 29. People think we're "young", I couldn't disagree more. If you obey God and put marriage first, He'll bless you for it. My husband got an amazing federal job when I was 4 months pregnant. We put faith first

[@littleripper312]

I don't think it's too young, I think making a marriage work is a choice regardless of age. For me 21-22 would have been the ideal age to marry but the guy I was with and had been investing in with hopes of marriage ended up sleeping around so I naturally broke up with him. I had a really hard time trusting someone again after that.

[@lannys488]

Wish you many more years of happy marriage Tessa! ♡

[@72586jejones]

No. If you love God and put HIM first he will bless you.

[@derruckkehrer7383]

Faith in what? Haha.

[@brickboomthing7117]

@@littleripper312 dang, that sucks. I pray that The LORD will lead you to a wise, loving, godly man!

[@caseclosed9342]

As someone who is young and getting divorced, this advice is so-so. If you can find an emotionally mature person to marry, sure. I personally married someone who turned out to be emotionally immature and she later left me. Now I feel I wasted my time when I could have held out for someone better. I’m sure I’ll find someone again, but I think I need more patience when it comes to the right person.

[@Kitty-Cattie]

I'm so sorry to hear that 😢. I know there are 2 sides to this advice, dependent on your upbringing and culture. I can relate to what they said bc I grew up in Vietnam and generally 16-18 year olds, especially mountain and country boys and girls, are very mature (like equal to someone in their mid 20s here). They operate a marriage within their extended family unit and receive so much support and advice, just like the DW hosts here. Families generally turn out pretty good for most people. Not all turn out to be happy endings, but that is life. There's a community foundation, and then there's knowing ourselves with more nuances. I hope you feel better and know that on this journey, you will find your happiness and someone who truly appreciates you.

[@kathyalex778]

Thank you for saying this. There IS something to be said about being in early 20s or teens and marrying and there not being a lot of maturity. I wish you the best, unfortunately not every marriage will last a lifetime.

[@TheTruthHurts6666]

Yeah my older sister would agree with you. She married an immature husband at age 19 who she now resents (she's in her mid forties) because she brings in most money and also cook and prepare food and clean. He goes off and drink with his buddies. My coworker is also mid forties, also had bad marriage by marrying young, leading to abusive ex husband who was a drug addict and he also left her with debt. So when she found out her 19 year old daughter got engaged to a guy that had similarities to her ex husband, she freaked out. I think it really depends on the situation and people should not assume getting married young is best for everyone when clearly everyone I know say they had issues with their marriage and should have waited to make sure it's really really right partner. I can also pinpoint soooo many KZbinr married couples who broke up already around the 10-15 year mark. A lot of these posts from people married young and saying they're 4-8 years strong together do not realize most issues come up when you're in your late thirties and forties.

[@mihailwarsavski8849]

Lol

[@nightingale2424]

Two sides to every story..

[@Valdrex]

Just get married early guys, what could possibly go wrong?

[@JKinsman92]

My wife and I were about 23 when we got married. I’d never lived on my own yet, I was busy with college and she had already lived on her own serving a church mission. I’ve learned so much from her, and I don’t exaggerate at all when I say I’d lose the house without her. Growing and being able to suffer together is so important to the health of a lasting marriage. We celebrate 8 years this January.

[@sineadgordon]

Yes I saw this lovely post about how being compatible based on the Latin root words means to suffer with. How well do you suffer together is key. People think it's a pretty word that means they click, but it's about endurance and fighting through the struggle together.

[@BrownFam1225]

Congratulations 🎉

[@ohsnapsonbro4260]

Couples who marry before age 28 are statistically more likely to divorce.

[@chloeburton494]

Are you LDS?

[@JabsMajozi]

Longsuffering, meekness, tolerance, enduring to the end. You must be a 'member'. Love stories like this. Many young people think delaying the onset of adulthood is equal to delaying marriage. It is not.

[@whitneytan2330]

I love the DW guys, but this assumes that all people who didn't marry young didn't want to. Some of us just haven't found someone yet.

[@alqoshgirl]

That’s not at all what they are saying though.

[@whitneytan2330]

@@alqoshgirl I understand that. It would just be nice if they also gave advice for those who are older and still looking, because some of us can't go back in time haha

[@Ash_Queen16]

@@whitneytan2330 I agree

[@daniellebadger6272]

Thank you, Whitney! I love DW, but everytime they go down this train of thought it breaks me a little and I usually end up turning off the video. It clearly wasn't God's timing for me to marry young, even though it was what I thought I'd get to do. Doesn't mean I'm contributing to the breakdown of American society, too picky, or not trying.

[@kurtpunchesthings2411]

frankly what i find insane is you got people here at 19 and already married mofo I'm 23 and I've never even had a girlfriend or my own place to live i could not even imagine being married at 19

[@kessa892]

Wait, so 18 year olds are not mature enough to vote, but they're somehow mature enough to make the long life decision of marriage?

[@hanssbeih9459]

Finally someone said it

[@konstantinrebrov675]

Voting is BS.

[@matthewphilipp6115]

I think both aren't an age thing but more of a maturity thing. Some 18 year olds are mature and some aren't for both.

[@Kashyap_Trivedi2]

​@@matthewphilipp6115 I'm 18 and I'm not ready for marriage because mentally, physically and financially and it's not easy for me to handle study, finance and relationship and other things and my parents married around age 40 and they had me around age 42 and everything is fine.

[@InHimAlone]

My husband and I started dating when I was 13 and him 15. We dated for 8 years and now married for 18. We literally grew up together and we were formed into who we are today with each other right there. A bond like this can not be separated.

[@InHimAlone]

@Draven's Cringe Gaming That sucks, but it can happen in any divorce, regardless of age, unless you have a prenup.

[@olgac.h.1278]

I love those stories. I think growing up together is very important. I don't understand why so many people are against people dating so young. I don't see anything wrong with it.

[@htchamber2776]

@@olgac.h.1278 you still haven’t formed your identity as a teenager that’s why the story the Op told is a very small percentage compared to most teens who are in romantic realastionships I’d advise you stop being a hopeless romantic and use more critical thinking

[@olgac.h.1278]

@@htchamber2776 well, thank you for the advice. But precisely because you haven't yet formed your identity, I guess there will be less conflict if you form it with someone else than if you already have it formed and have to live life with someone who already has it formed too. Because there will be more similarities in the first case and the characters will have been formed in a way that fit.

[@teddy9402]

Find the age gap of 13 & 15 very odd.

[@smileyearth4896]

Husband and I met at 13 years old, we were both 19 when we got married to each other, and celebrated our 3 years this year. Welcomed a beautiful babygirl 3 weeks ago. I’m so incredibly blessed❤I love our tiny family

[@ilenehancock7595]

I was 24 when I met my husband he was 21. We dated 2 months, engaged for 3 months. We had 4 kids together and have now been married for 43 years. I think what holds a good marriage is having the same values and working toward your goals together.

[@ginacox9652]

My daughter is 24 and her boyfriend 22. Both just graduated college. They are getting married August 11th. Four months after their first date.😊

[@JessicaPolman-i2p]

@@ginacox9652 She will wind up divorced like me.

[@GardeningGems]

@@ginacox9652 That’s a lovely anniversary date. It happens to be the same as my husbands & I. May God bless their marriage 🤍

[@ntmn8444]

I got married at 33, and by the time I’m 34 I’ll be giving birth to my first child. I wanted to be married sooner, but what can I say? No one asked me then. These types of conversations aren’t helpful; because there are people who will not get married young, it just doesn’t happen for them in their 20s. Not every high school sweetheart story you see leads to marriage. Furthermore, the question should not be whether to marry young or not. It should be who are you marrying? Are you ready to marry? Marriage takes maturity and responsibility. You have to be a well formed adult, with good sets of morals and values, before you decide to marry. Know yourself first, because then you can find a suitable partner who shares your values. Marrying young just to say you got married young is not good advice. A lot of young couples don’t make it. We are setting up the youth for failure if we don’t communicate these truths first.

[@Aseabasplace]

I love this conversation. My husband and I were married at 24 and 22- just 5 months after meeting. We’ve been married 10 years, and are expecting our 5 th baby next month. I love our beautiful life!

[@VasHappeninTori]

Congrats!!

[@charaboston1566]

I love hearing success stories about younger couples. My boyfriend and I have been dating eachother to marry and have been on the same page with everything even timing wise I’m 22 going on 23 and he is 21 going on 22 but we are thinking about engagement in a year ish or whenever it feels right. I always thought it was interesting how people say don’t get married young but I think it’s really don’t marry the wrong person.

[@RallyTheTally]

I want to be you lol

[@speakthetruth7092]

Enough already. Ppl lik u r responsible for this population gettinf out of control. Use protection

[@Teddy_Roosevelt_]

@@speakthetruth7092 your name is ironic

[@GlobalK]

You shouldnt marry young. Take your time and see what the world has to offer first.

[@elizabethhamm5320]

You all have great marriages and beautiful families. I’m happy for you. However, I don’t have regrets about not being married young. My value system was very under developed and my self esteem was very low. I would have settled for someone who didn’t treat me right and my value system might have been stunted. Young marriage works for some people. However, it’s often not a good idea. I’m glad that when and if I get married it will be to someone who shares my values and who treats me as an equal

[@staples361]

Good luck finding a man with conservative values who believes u are an equal to him Elizabeth

[@combativeThinker]

@@staples361 Lmao. I’d say it’s the other way around. Good luck finding a woman who hasn’t ridden the CC and who won’t divorce you to get her grubby mitts on all your assets.

[@guyincognito9698]

@@combativeThinker ok incel.

[@sanniepstein4835]

@@staples361 Good luck finding a leftist whose mind isn't full of cliches and stereotypes.

[@angru_arches]

@@staples361 You mistake equal and same...we are equal, but different, complimentary...you leftists think men and women are the same thing. Consequences of Godlessness.

[@GenXfrom75]

My husband and I got married when I was 29, he was 23.... We've been together 20 years in February. And added 3 sons to the planet. Our firstborn turned 19 today.

[@lisamedlyn3818]

I was married young and stayed for 19 years. The first 10 years were pretty good but the last 9 years were awful. I stayed for the kids and my firm belief in marriage. Not all young marriages last.. 😢

[@tajakjejtam]

Yes! This is what I was looking for, not so many share the dark side of young marriage. As they say, you grow together, but what if at the end of the process both of you want something else? Then it becomes the problem. People are interested in different people when they are 15-20 and often value something else in their 30. And sometimes it ends with kids being the only glue for the relationship

[@Gabster1990]

Yeah I don't meet a lot people who married before 25 y.o. and are still married. Those ages people change a lot!

[@amandak7334]

Agreed! These folks think they know it all. Cause everyone has their life experience. Lol

[@mamc1986]

Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to get married when I was younger, I didn't find anyone I was compatible with. I'm not a loser at all, and I don't regret it, being with just anyone isn't the best idea for a number of reasons. Furthermore you don't have to get married at one particular age, cause its different for everyone.

[@inesarif8497]

@@ValouroverFear that’s literally what they fail always to talk about these far right people, love yourself first before you try and get someone else to love you.

[@inesarif8497]

Love and respecting you, making sure you are okay is so important in life because you matter.

[@JayJay-xr8ds]

Met my husband at 17, he was 19. We married at 22, first kid at 24 and second one is due in March! He knows how to cut through my emotions and put me in my place. We both come from very sinful backgrounds but have grown our relationship with God and cut out all the addictions. Our relationship has never been better and the Lord helps us raise our daughter! ❤️

[@damnkevindeaderthanamf6068]

Congratulations

[@CalledUntoHoliness]

👏 Wonderful. Continue to let Christ be the center and everything will fall into place.

[@DavidRamseyIII]

Good work mate. Congratulations to you both

[@littleripper312]

A lot of people come from sinful backgrounds. I actually don't think that's a bad thing. I think making mistakes and correcting your life is actually more honorable than having always been perfect. I think it also makes you more compassionate and you look at people and know they can grow and change too instead of just looking down at them for sinful behaviour. I definitely feel more compassion and hope for other because of my own growth. I don't just write people off because they are living sinful.

[@Greywolf-91]

Until you get bored. Right?

[@mylesnmore]

I didn’t get married until I was 36, I just couldn’t find a peaceful relationship without drama and disconnection because (tbh) I wasn’t ready and didn’t know what I wanted. I’m glad I waited, but I realise it could’ve backfired on me too. It’s a choice and maturity is required, I had to take more time to grow up and be mature in my view and decrease my ego in a healthy way (bc I was selfish with “myself”). I wish I married younger, I really wish I did then I would have more kids but alas I just wasn’t ready and I wasn’t mature enough back then to have healthy relationships. I’m happily married for over 10-years and have an 8yo daughter, so I have a great story but I do wish it all happened a lot earlier.

[@YFL.111]

the problem is that if earier you were selfish and not ready to have a healthy relationship probably you would not have matched with a man like the man you are with now. when you are in a healthy psicological state, you atract good relationships and the oposite. that is why there shouldnt be a fixed rule about when to do it , because even if the ideal is to marry at young age, for people who had abusive father or mother, for people who come from borken homes ( almost 50 per cent of people) etc, its gonna be highly difficult to create a good marriage early on, as they carry their parents wounds, and most likely would look for versions of their father or mother, or disfuncional things like their parents marriage. if a person like that waits a bit to heal, or to simply learn and grow piscologicaly they are able to be at a point where they can atract a healthy relationship

[@VictoriaKlippy]

My husband and I have been together for close to 10 years now, met when we were 17. Growing up together has honestly been such an important aspect of our marriage, we’ve been able to support each other growing into our adult-selves and continue to build our home and family.

[@winningvictory]

Awesomeness!

[@DavidRamseyIII]

Beautiful 👍🏼

[@batman5224]

I understand where this advice is coming from, but it’s not entirely sound. Most people that I know who got married right out of high school or college are now divorced. People tend to not realize who they are and what they want until their mid to late twenties, which is when the brain stops developing. I’m not saying people have to be middle-aged, but it’s probably unwise for most people to get married before the age of 25. Even then, I’m nearing thirty. If I met the right woman, I would be married within six months, but I’m not going to marry the wrong person just so I don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to be alone to feel alone. Many people in their thirties and forties aren’t single by choice, but because they haven’t found the right person to marry.

[@JamesBond-yn8kd]

HAVE TO BE, WHY ?

[@batman5224]

@@JamesBond-yn8kd Because they haven’t found the right person to marry.

[@Fair-to-Middling]

Oh god, that statement, 'You don't have to be alone to feel alone' is so true. And it especially sucks when one is married.

[@CiaoColeG]

I love hearing this perspective from a man. For myself, I would made a mess of my life and someone else's if I married at 18-23 years old. My teen years were spent grieving the loss my father, my grandmother, and struggling with anxiety and depression. Then coming out of it, learning how to take care of myself (my mom was extremely overprotective), growing in my relationship with God, becoming involved in church, and making friends were what I spent my early 20's doing. Didn't really desire marriage and motherhood until 27, and by then most men near my age were married. It's been a journey and while I wish I were married by 30 (just turned 37), "it's better to wait long than marry wrong" which is what married couples tell me.

[@karhart6663]

All of these guys are looking back after having been married with families. It's easy to look back and say "marry young" but for single me (37) it just hasn't happened. And I'm average, I haven't done anything to deter my guy friends. But I refuse to desperately throw myself at single guys like a side character in a Hallmark movie.

[@eddyskripko4595]

Marriage is an individuals own business. Jesus was single… the apostle Paul was single… John the Baptist was single… they were fine

[@karek4635]

I married my husband at age 24, and he was 30. 16 years married, entering mid-life now at ages 40/46 with two kids 11 and 13. Marriage gets better over time because you can customize every aspect of your life to suit the marriage. We have had an extremely positive impact on each other's lives and cannot imagine if we hadn't married! Our only "regret" was not meeting as teens and growing up together, which isn't something we can control. I love that our kids have grown up in a traditional two parent home all while knowing their grandparents. It is a great life! One you can't fully understand the gifts of unless you build and experience it for yourself.

[@sportsport1654]

Easy like that when man are considerd young at age 30, and even can get married with 6 years younger. Society isn't fair

[@jojojo3411]

Beautiful! Keep on being those kind of role models we need:)

[@Joseph-zd7kg]

​@@sportsport1654 men are not considered young at 30 wtf.. and women can marry younger men too.

[@navigodelaney119]

My husband and I say the same thing. Wish we'd met sooner. But our kids married young, and we are thrilled for them.

[@AmazingStoryDewd]

​@@Joseph-zd7kgwell yeah at 30 they definitely are. I never heard of anyone calling a 30 year old man old

[@Es24688]

I was 19 and my husband was 20. We did everything in the right order: love, marriage, sex, babies. We indeed did grow up together in a way, but the advantage was we did all those big things together. It made it so much easier to fully combine our lives and finances.

[@esval3054]

Get married whenever you find the right person. Or don't get married if you don't want to.

[@charlottestuart8465]

💯

[@Pikawarps]

Easy to say, good luck finding a woman worth marrying now. I’m 27 and wanted to be married by 20.

[@punisherlee]

Well, only thing I can say is that while the argument can be made for positives in early marriage, if yours isn't early, then make sure it's with someone worth the wait

[@Pikawarps]

@@punisherlee my mistake was being with someone who wasnt, for far too long. :\

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

Yep

[@punisherlee]

@@Pikawarps Well, now you're no longer with them. Keep searching, keep building yourself, keep yourself committed to service to others through your local church. Don't beat yourself up for not finding someone early.

[@kathyr1592]

My husband and I were talking about this yesterday. We are so grateful not to be in the dating scene. I feel bad for nice young people, trying to find compatible partners. When I see the selection out there, it's sad and scary! Tik-Tokers, Snap-chatters, and assorted social-justice warriors, still unemployed in their 20s, and living with their parents.

[@hannahchaney3630]

I’ve always wanted to get married young. I’m 24 and still a single Pringle. I’m just trusting Gods timing is perfect because there is not much you can do about it 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m trying to marry the right one. Also I love how God made man and women so different because we can compliment each other so well🙏🏼

[@Dr.MantisTobogganMD]

God sent me. Wazzup

[@hannahchaney3630]

@@Dr.MantisTobogganMD 😆

[@combativeThinker]

Same here. I’m so fucking lonely…

[@SarahMc585]

@@hannahchaney3630 smooth guy 😂 Seriously though. Trust gods timing ❤️ 24 is still so young! I’ll pray that god put this in your path!

[@hannahchaney3630]

@@combativeThinker Personally, I can’t imagine how lonely I’d feel without Jesus.

[@uzochiejimofor1713]

I am a 29 year old single female. I wish someone taught me this wisdom as a child. Really wish I found love at a young age. Still optimistic it will happen but i agree that it is better to get married younger. Not every parent sits down to guide their children in detail and therefore, so many people take a long to mature.

[@denisdeari1]

don't worry! everything is going to turn out good

[@uzochiejimofor1713]

@@denisdeari1 thanks

[@martinsneh1476]

U Igbo?

[@uzochiejimofor1713]

@@martinsneh1476 yes I am. Imo state. You?

[@martinsneh1476]

@@uzochiejimofor1713 Yoruba, from Oyo state. U still in the country. I’m amazed to see my countryman here on this space

[@sheliaspringer7389]

My husband and I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 21! We have three wonderful children and have had a MARVELOUS marriage for 46 years! We met in College and he was from another state; actually there on a football scholarship. We moved to his home state. I could never have loved another man the way I love my husband and I feel blessed by OUR GOD to have this long married life with him! Thank you for this segment! I hope that my grandchildren will find a wonderful husband or wife to share their life with.

[@combativeThinker]

In today’s world? Fat chance. They’ll be used and tossed aside.

[@damnkevindeaderthanamf6068]

@@combativeThinker Can you stop being negative please.

[@rosannacudmore2049]

Met my husband at 15, got married at 21, had twins at 25, and another at 29, and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary. We put each other through school, started 2 businesses together, and built a house by hand. We have grown up together, had many ups and downs, but trusting God has been the key to the glue that holds our family together. Our job isn’t to make each other happy. Our job is to be committed to our marriage and kids. The kids know that our marriage is more important than them. They tell us from time to time, “you guys need a date night” 😂😂😂.

[@sird2333]

Don’t get married. Be single and free!

[@antoniosilvestrojr.]

1000 times YES!!!! I’ve married for 14 years and have three kids with my wife and it is, by far, the closest thing to Heaven on Earth I’ve ever experienced!!!

[@jennywight9119]

We met in junior high, had a baby first at 16 but got married at 17. That was almost 33 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made! We have 4 adult children and 3 grandchildren and I feel so very satisfied with my life.

[@meandnotyoudude5678]

Wow!

[@mikwcas5110]

Jenny, you will undoubtedly enjoy your Great-Grandchildren and probably Great-Great because of your wise prudence. God Bless.

[@kineticsoul7474]

It’s great to hear all these stories of the people who found their person at a very young age. I feel like if anything, this discussion should make those who got married young feel so blessed to have their person because not everyone gets to be so lucky. I wanted this to be my story so bad but it is not. I had my first boyfriend when I was 17. I thought we would always be together and I fought really hard to keep that relationship but you can’t fight by yourself. (Which was what I was doin after a while) that relationship crushed me and tho I’m no longer in that same space, I have not had a relationship since I was a 17. Of course I’ve dated, even talked a while to a few guys but it’s never turned into anything serious.. guess my point is Love don’t come easy.

[@colepriceguitar1153]

Thanks for saying this. Marriage is just tales about like a formality, and it’s so irritating.

[@mrfab4383]

The mistake you made was not getting married

[@Fair-to-Middling]

I don't agree. I got married very early at age 18 (both of us just graduated high school). We had no idea what to expect with being constant and true, to dealing with anger and even day to day boring stuff. We did however last 8 years which was pretty amazing in retrospect. I personally think that age 25 would be a much better time to get married. Your brain is mature and hopefully you are too!

[@TC-gx3qn]

I agree 💯. 25 sounds young enough but not so young as to still be very immature (still depends on the individuals, though- some are still immature at 40 🤷🏽‍♀️ while others, although far more rare, can be mature at 20 : ).

[@Loganva]

25 is still young tho

[@TheDaneyeledee]

That’s why premarital counselling can be extremely helpful!

[@combativeThinker]

Sounds like personal issues you two had. My aunt and uncle got married at 16 and have been together 50 years.

[@alqoshgirl]

Sounds like 2 people that were egocentric and not willing to learn and grow together 🤷🏻‍♀️ sorry but you stick it out and set aside your ego. Your age probably had nothing to do with it

[@randm4246]

I don't necessarily buy this. I was married when I was 23 and my wife was 22, and we just had our 19th wedding anniversary. We have had a wonderful marriage, and have built a wonderful life together. Having said that, we are the extreme outlier. Every single one of my friends, and my wife's friends, who got married young are now divorced. Both my kids have asked me if they should get married young and I told them no. You aren't a fully formed adult until you are well into your 20's. Finding someone that has the same morals and values as you, and will continue to have those same shared beliefs is critical.

[@andrewstone7316]

Yeah I agree. I think it’s less important when you get married but more of who you marry. You have to choose correctly

[@Sonofagreatdad]

getting married was the worst thing I ever did. ignore me if you want.i am the norm

[@JamesBond-yn8kd]

By the way, 3 children, 13 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren, totally blessed

[@radhiadeedou8286]

People who get to meet their great grandchildren are so lucky

[@Ash_Queen16]

@@radhiadeedou8286 Definitely, like they’re so few and far between

[@chueyvanderbilt2213]

It's nice to see some people on here disagree with these guys instead of falling into what they say stands as truth. I was starting to see a bunch of "yes" men and women that never disagreed with them. As much as I respect these gentlemen, their views are becoming more emotional based and how they feel instead of the bigger picture

[@nikkiedwards7436]

I tell my husband all the time I’m so happy we met when we did and got married young (according to today’s standards). I do feel like we grew up together and I love looking back on the different phases of life with him and seeing that growth. I met my husband when we were both 19, we were friends for 2 years, started dating (long distance, because I moved) when I turned 21, I moved back home at age 22, we got engaged and were married at age 23! We are both 30 now and we have so many more wonderful phases of life to continue to grow through together!

[@anitaVacation5130]

Married my husband at 18 and moved for a job opportunity the same day. We celebrated our 6 year anniversary yesterday. I love the family we have created. I am truly blessed to have him.

[@CalledUntoHoliness]

Wonderful 👏 This generation needs to hear these kind of experiences.

[@katyajones4953]

My future spouse and I, are 19 and 20. Getting married in 4 months. And I can’t even imagine not wanting to marry just because that’s what the society tells you. I’m in love with the idea of growing up together and building our marriage so young.

[@neeltjeschmidt]

Congratulations!!

[@BartlebyHiggensworth]

Based

[@mason4966]

I hope it works out for you.

[@freakdesktop]

good luck there

[@theguiltygoat]

congrats man, hope everything goes well for you.

[@elfstitch]

I think the discussion is too focused on age. No one can really determine the age of marriage but we can definitely determine the right time and the right person. It's a feeling, not just some set number. If we had a bunch of 18-21 year olds getting married we would definitely have very high rates of divorce now (keep in mind the rates weren't high when our grandparents were married because it was looked down on to get a divorce) and at the same time the same could be said for 35-40 year olds getting married. The focus should be shifted from age-focused to readiness (the right time) focused. I know people who were married at a very young age and hated it and I know very few that had become a successful marriage. Key word, successful happy marriage. I grew up with family members that stayed together because that's just what tradition called for but are at each other's throats and loathe each other. There's no one answer to this. Human beings are very complicated creatures and you have to do what works for both partners. A lot of American culture now is more career driven, especially for women who were mostly mothers and stayed home. Society has given us more options, which at times has been harmful but we have to ultimately decide when it's the right time to tie to knot with someone and settle down. There's 20 year olds that are mature beyond their years and 40 year olds that act childish. It's multi layered and many variables come into play.

[@aquatera3815]

I wish your wise comment was upvoted more and went to the top for more people to see.

[@iamyoda1980]

💯

[@libbymccarthy6248]

I was 23 and my husband was 22, and started our family right away. We've been married 11 years and have four kids. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it was HARD in the beginning and all the life changes. We were pinching pennies and my husband was working long hours so I could stay home with our kids. BUT we always recommend it IF you want to become a better person. The beauty is the growth and love through the hard times.

[@colepriceguitar1153]

So do it just cause it’s hard and makes you grow? There are much better ways to do that and not bring the massive consequences of children into the mix. That sounds more irresponsible to me. Glad you made it through.

[@D2attemp]

Life happens and it’s not as simple as just marrying early and young.

[@zipporah1843]

I met my husband at 24 and he was 28. We have been together for 13 years and have 4 children. The only thing I regret is not having met him sooner. I am a happy wife and mom😊🥰

[@jericamcbride3659]

I married my husband when I was 33 and he was 35. We've been married 12 years now. I don't regret one thing. We were mature enough to know what we needed and wanted. We both could have married different people when we were younger but that would have been horrible. We end up inheriting 4 boys after our first 4 years of marriage. So I really think it is about maturity.

[@SoMelancholy]

I agree with you!

[@mamabear3610]

How did you inherit 4 boys?

[@jerzy.winiarski]

@@mamabear3610 She end up inherited boys, isn't that wonderful?

[@ntmn8444]

Yes yes yes!!

[@theelizardqueen]

I really needed to hear this because I'm 29 about to be 30 never been married and am worried it would never happen for me.

[@joshchild]

Marriage is also an affordability issue. Who can afford to be married at 20-24? Most can't.

[@Set_Your_Handlle]

Check Dave Ramsey

[@ruthmusante8726]

I am 81 and from San Francisco, and my husband was introduced to me when I was 14. Fell madly in love, and still love him

[@combativeThinker]

That sounds heavenly. That’s all I ever wanted, myself, but here I am, 24 and kissless…

[@miker4775]

But how many times did you cheat though. Let’s be honest

[@CalledUntoHoliness]

Wonderful 👏 Thank you for sharing.

[@kurtpunchesthings2411]

@@combativeThinker hey I'm a year behind you lmao 23 here but will be there soon enough sigh

[@savtazvia3456]

@@miker4775 ?????????????????/

[@KiwiGirl941]

I was about to get married at age 26, but God said no. I'm choosing to trust Him to lead me and in the meantime, I'm healing, making myself ready to be married and partner with someone for the rest of my life. And it's good. I think it's a mixture of being open to possibilities, trusting God's timing, and becoming the best spouse you can be even while you're single.

[@Dylan-rs4yx]

Yes!! You should scroll up and read my post that I made. I think that people just think that just because God allowed them to get married at a young age that that’s the way it is for everyone else, and that’s absolutely not the case. The strongest ones out there are the ones that do it alone with the Lord!

[@sterlinghinton6776]

How did God say no? 🤔

[@KiwiGirl941]

@@sterlinghinton6776 everytime I asked him what I should do I felt Him say no. And it was confirmed by multiple red flags that I was also choosing to ignore with this person. Eventually I listened to Him. And my life has never been the same. In a good way.

[@KiwiGirl941]

@@Dylan-rs4yx to add on to your point - I think to trust God, period, is to be strong. He guides and leads in His own way. And for some it's getting married young. For others it's getting married at an older age. And for some it's never getting married. God makes provision for all those. But choosing to make God the center of one's life is essential. And trusting Him in and with everything. 😊

[@Dylan-rs4yx]

@@KiwiGirl941 truth!

[@baryl3969]

For those who are fortunate to find their loved one early, happy for you. Because you can grow and mold together. Some of us, aren’t so fortunate. So we start much later. Some things in life aren’t the same. Everyone has their own timeline.

[@themanwithnothingtolose]

"Some of us" wrong *Most of us

[@tylerbeck3806]

I was 18 and my wife was 19 and were 9 years strong. Besting decision of my life. Joined the air force served for 6 years completed a STEM degree and now I'm finishing my doctorate. Marriage was never a hindrance. I'm actually not sure I would've been as productive alone.

[@warrenmansur]

Erin here. This is a great conversation and so uplifting and refreshing. Me and my husband were both 30 when we married, we met at 29. It wasn’t real late to be married, but I do wish we had met sooner, or had been ready sooner as the case might’ve been. Still, it’s been the best thing for both of us, along with our 4 children ❤ Very, very grateful for my family.

[@fibbs6533]

Most people don't have the money to marry young.

[@MrHanderson91]

great. now address the almost complete lack of marriageable young people combined with unfair divorce laws.

[@charlybucket2691]

Yes, I vote for the same to be addressed!

[@AddyKil]

My husband and I just got married last month, I’m 21 and he’s 25

[@joethealternativegamer3935]

Congrats :)

[@EdgarFriendlysCivicsTeacher]

Congratulations. All the best to you two

[@JamesBond-yn8kd]

CONGRATULATIONS, ALWAYS GIVE MORE THAN YOU TAKE, AND NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD....

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

Don't fall for the "I missed out routine" you don't need to experience your party years and sleep around before marriage so don't cheat get divorced or have an open relationship those are the 3 most common reasons for young couples destroying their life these days.

[@AddyKil]

@@wingsoffreedom3589 I agree, we were each others first kiss and and waited for marriage for the rest. Our relationship is stronger for it

[@IvnSoft]

To people who are in their late 20s or early 30s and still not married : You are fine. Probably better than fine. I got married at 21. Divorced at 26, and left me with enough scars that i prefer to stay that way. Never hurry because someone tells you to (be it society, parents, or whatever).

[@tanyajackson622]

absolutely right!

[@Pascale5625]

Absolutely. And never let any religion dictate when and to whom you get married either.

[@Ash_Queen16]

@@Pascale5625???

[@brianmolstad1255]

A man gets married. Women are FAR less happy married then men, and file 80% of divorces. Family court is a nightmare. You have no idea of what it is like to be forcibly ejected from one*s house and separated from one*s kids, listening to lies about how one abused one*s own children. This is, for men, now the norm. Is it any wonder men consider women malignant? Is it any wonder that suicide is so common for men?

[@Diego-hr4yj]

@@brianmolstad1255 one's*

[@gabriellejames4976]

I enjoyed this! I always wanted to marry when I was younger. My parents married at 19 and 21. I’m 43 and have never been married, which was SO not the plan. It’s challenging and I wouldn’t recommend it. When I see young married couples it makes me smile because I would have loved to been in their shoes at their age. I still hope to marry, though. I think it’s important that men and women are encouraged to marry and grow together.

[@naviifra2374]

My aunt just got married in her 40s. Your time is coming ❤

[@gabriellejames4976]

@@naviifra2374 that is so kind! Bless you 🙏🏾! Yes! My day is coming!

[@kathyalex778]

God bless you, I hope you find the kind of person you want.

[@gabriellejames4976]

@@kathyalex778 thank you! 🙏🏾

[@loverofhumanity]

Wtf has your ass been doing? Just marry the next guy who checks you out. Stop fucking around seriously 😒

[@mjfanta1915]

We had the rare(?) situation where we fell in love in high school but felt we couldn't marry because our families would have disapproved. Despite our best efforts, we ended up pregnant. Then they HAD to let us marry. Ha! 22 years in and it gets better every year.

[@happycamper3561]

It’s pretty narcissistic to make these blanket statements that everyone should live their life according to your opinions. Some of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever seen were people that rushed to be married before 30. Some of the most Godly and healthy relationships I’ve ever seen were people who waited on God to orchestrate their relationships and life including marriage. The best way is to let God lead you.

[@Juicy_J713]

I was married at 23 and my wife was 24. Not crazy young but we were fairly fresh out of college. Now 30 and 31 with two kids and we couldn’t be happier. I’m aging at the speed of light but I’m very happy

[@emgames8098]

I met my husband when I was 23 and he was 28, we got married when I was 29 and he was 34. We waited a long time because we were from different countries/cultures and wanted to be sure it would be the best for both of us. My husband is Korean. We also had to deal with parents' approval and deciding which country to live in. I think building a stable/trusting foundation before marriage is important and the time it takes can vary from couple to couple.

[@arianahelvie5033]

Some people didn’t find someone worth marrying super young. It’s not how it is for some people

[@vicwiseman6038]

Married at 20 and my wife was 21. Best decision of my life. We have grown together and are happily married for 10 years now. We were blessed with a daughter last year and hope to have a son soon. The problem with marrying late is people accumulate baggage. That baggage isn’t easily dumped, it affects future relations.

[@colepriceguitar1153]

For some, getting married early isn’t an option. No one wants them at that age.

[@grcarie]

I met my husband at 24 years, got married at 28, had my first baby at 30. He has worked so hard for everything we have and I have had the privilege to share in that work. Now we have our first home and 3 children under 3. My body took a toll, so we won't be having any more kids, but we are truly blessed. I only pray that now God will help us survive and thrive under these next few years when our children are young.

[@incogneato790]

My wife was 15 and I was 17 when we met, and I knew she was the one that night. We married about 5 years later and are coming up to our 34th anniversary, so nearly 40 years of being a couple. The sense of oneness we have is amazing and a source of great joy, peace and strength to us both.

[@Levy025]

Preying on a 15 years old girl. Being 17

[@incogneato790]

@@Levy025 News Flash: Teenagers fall in love and date, and 2 year age difference is no big deal. We lived 100 miles apart for the first year so we wrote a lot of letters talking about what we were doing and what we were thinking of things. Not love letters in the typical sense. If we were lucky we could arrange to be at the same church dance once a month where we spent more time talking than dancing. I didn't actually take her out on a date till after her 16th birthday, and that was a double-date with her older brother and his girlfriend. Both of us waited for our wedding night to be intimate. I never told her I knew she was the one that first night until after we were engaged, I wanted her to figure it out for herself. Hardly predatory behavior.

[@Levy025]

@@incogneato790 a 15 year hitting on a 13 year old a girl that’s wasn’t even in highschool yet and she’s a middle school nigga that’s weird

[@incogneato790]

@@Levy025 And does a predator stay around as a loyal and faithful and loving spouse for 34 years, raise 6 kids together, hang in there together through some pretty tough times? Learn to recognize true love.

[@Ash_Queen16]

@@Levy025Who’s 15 and 13? Can you not read???

[@blessedbirthonlineresource222]

We were 25 and 22 when we got married. Still married 14 years later with 1 amazing daughter. We had a fairly awful marriage, we are both pretty messed up people, it took us about 11 years to figure out how to be married and we would have been divorced at least 3 times, but we somehow forgave each other some rather heinous things, and it's better every year. God's grace is contageous, you want to extend grace to others and not give up on them.

[@kristyleavitt8007]

My husband and I got married at ages 23 and 22 (a month before our 24th and 23rd birthdays) and I’m so glad we married when we did. It’s been great to learn and grow together and build a life together over these last 12 years ♥️

[@jennisavahh]

Congratulations, that’s wonderful

[@kristyleavitt8007]

@@jennisavahh thank you! ♥️

[@nikjun2001]

I agree. Me and my husband met at 17 & 18 and we married at 19 & 20. We have been married 29 yrs and have 6 children and 4 grandchildren. We have grown up together and have been through a variety of ups and downs. We thought we knew what love was at teens but it’s nothing compared to now. I believe that’s in part because we have grown together.

[@tamiraymond7032]

My husband was 16 and I was 17 when we met, and we were 21 and 22 when we married. We moved 2 states away for grad school (and got to move back home 8 ½ years later). Six children and 30 years later we're still going strong. We had a great example. My parents were also high school sweethearts. My mom turned 18 April 27,graduated high school May 28, and was married IN PANAMA June 7. It was Vietnam era, and my dad was in the Army. They have been married 54 years.

[@militaryhomes6292]

Met my husband when we were 17. We got married at 22. We would have gotten married earlier but he went to the air force academy and wasn't allowed to be married. Literally right after graduation we ran off to the DMV and signed paperwork to be married. 4 years of long distance relationship was long enough for us.

[@logwind]

Marriage is the only contract where one party is rewarded for breaking it.

[@JamesBond-yn8kd]

my wife and I got married at 17, Dec 5 will be our 51st wedding anniversary, these people who don't want to marry and create a family haven't a clue. Don't get me wrong marriage isn't easy, but is truly wonderful..

[@JKBelle]

Amen

[@javiazar]

Congratulations, but saying this is akin to saying "just buy a house, I bought one in 1976 for $20,000 and I paid it off without needing a college degree"... those houses don't exist anymore, just like women like the one you married also don't exist.

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

Different world you grew up in.

[@MrHanderson91]

unfortunately the world is changed a lot old-timer. what do you say is not really feasible for a lot of people anymore.

[@Fair-to-Middling]

I married in 1977 at age 18. We had both just graduated from high school. Had no clue what we were doing. Our fights were silly and eventually, all the ways of the world wore us down. 8 years later we divorced. Marriage early on for some works out great, but today it's hard for young people (especially men, which is pretty damn sad if you ask me) to find someone who will go the distance.

[@nofearonlylove21]

You only live this life once. You do whatever you feel that YOUR calling is. Having a family will come at the time that is right for you, IF it is apart of your purpose here in this life. Not everyone's purpose is to settling down young and procreate but those whose are then that is great too. You ultimately know what is right for you. Not others.

[@angelahagemeyer698]

Ben is completely right. My husband and I did the same thing - we "grew up together". It makes such a huge difference. My grandparents were married for almost 70 years and they grew up together for certain. They were teenagers and by the time they were 21 had survived my grandfather being in Germany in WWII and their first child being born. They were the happiest couple I have ever known.

[@jacksquat4140]

I guess I just don't see the point of this little get together. Five smug guys, telling the world how great marriage is, but none of them really know how their marriages will fare into the future. Truth is, virtually anyone can get married, and anyone can leave through the State's revolving door. So, what's the big deal? It takes two committed people to make a marriage work, but it only takes one to destroy it. Since you cannot control your spouse, you are essentially playing Russian Roulette. In this game of chance, you are given a six cylinder revolver; loaded with three bullets, so you have a 50-50 chance of surviving your marriage, but only a one in ten chance of being happily married beyond ten years. Now, if you're a husband, and sire four children, (statistically speaking) one of the four will not be your biological child. And, should your better half decide, for whatever reason, that she wants to move on without you, she is assured a sterling victory in family court, unless extenuating circumstances arise. Sorry, gents, but with all the cigars and bravado aside, marriage is a trap for most men and should be considered little more than a State sponsored wealth redistribution program (in most cases).

[@bloxnbrixgamer61]

They are kuckolds male feminists, that's why.

[@alfarouqaminufor3892]

met my wife in 1999 we were in the 3rd grade. we went to middle and high school together. we started dating later in life at the age of 25, got married at 28 and still together today at age 31. family is a beautiful thing

[@mariaangelesgarcia]

I think everyone has their own timing and it's irresponsable to say that getting married young is great. Some people need psycological help and get their stuff together before they have a relationship with someone, otherwise they can mix their problems with the relationship problems. My dad got married at 40 and has an amazing marriage of over 25 years, he is super catholic and has never been enthusiastic about getting married young, in fact, he recomends not to get married young. Please just keep in mind that everyone it's different, that we have different contexts and everything depends on the person. People shouldn't take personal experiences as facts, just do what works best for you

[@LindsAyWithAttitude]

Just responding to the title alone.... I wanted to marry young but the love of my life and I got married this year. I was 40!!!!! I don't believe in divorce so I waited for the right one. He was the right one when I was 20 but he wasn't ready after a year, broke up with me.... I compared every other guy to him because no one was as good. .... we got back together in 2013 😀 I wish I woukd have been able to have kids. It's all I ever wanted, but just wasn't in the cards I guess. I was trying but then cancer didn't allow for it. So don't judge someone for not doing it when young. I tried, but they just weren't the right ones.

[@punisherlee]

Great advice miss. While we may see the advantages in early marriage, we shouldn't judge someone for having a late marriage. I'm happy you remained afloat against cancer 🤝

[@TheSpicyLeg]

Better late than never, I suppose. But you could have had children; you chose not to. It wasn’t an accident, both of you chose not to have children when you could. Women don’t have forever to get pregnant, just how it is. And your husband wasted your fertility, selfishly, I might add.

[@alqoshgirl]

@@TheSpicyLeg yes I agree. It might sound cruel but she went back to a guy that literally destroyed her life because he wasn’t ‘ready’.

[@TheSpicyLeg]

@@joyinthemorning44 The truth hurts, deal with it. We know that a woman’s fertility hits its highest around age 23, and begins to drop off from there. Very quickly, I might add. By age 30 nearly 70% of a woman’s eggs are gone. As you know, a woman is born with a certain number of eggs. It does not increase, only decrease. Therefore, a woman has to make a decision about her desire to have children quickly. That’s just the biological truth. The longer she waits, the less chance she has. Even fertility treatments are not a guarantee, and are painful and expensive. Be angry with me all you like, but you do no favors to women with honeyed lies.

[@TheSpicyLeg]

@@alqoshgirl Correct. He backseated her for his own selfish reasons (likely to sleep with other women, but obviously we don’t know that for certain) and came back around when he aged out of playing around. It was simple cruelty. I can’t imagine having done the same to my wife.

[@jefferydebbink282]

This is where I break from the “traditional” conservatives. I firmly believe that marriage, between one man and one woman before God, is an institution that should be protected at all costs. However, it’s such an individualized choice that we cannot have a one size fits all mentality. I take the Christian Biblical perspective in that deciding whether or not you should get married is something that you need to settle in your heart with God because His will and mission for our lives supersedes any “tradition” we have. The DW folks are selling marriage like snake oil salesmen sell their “product” and it’s counterproductive because not everyone is called to be married plus marriage is no guarantee of making you a better person nor does every marriage pan out. As for myself, I have figured out that I should get married and have kids, but I’m 29 and I only figured this out after getting through college, getting secure in my housing and career, and after a thorough examination of my life, talking with God, and seeking the wise counsel of others in the Church. I’m asking around for leads, I’m on two online dating sites, and I’ve basically had zero luck! The only time age should matter in a marriage is when there’s a significant age difference since age gap relationships have much higher divorce rates.

[@TheZenomeProject]

One thing to note for men that may have entered the dating market a bit later but also prefer a younger partner for biological reasons (i.e. wanting to start a family with > 3 children): a way to counter the age gap question in a marriage is for said couple to have multiple children early on. Children tend to be a bonding agent for relationships and make divorces FAR more difficult for the instigating side.