The Sex Expert: "Casual Sex Is Almost Always Dangerous For Women!" - Louise Perry

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

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[@MelissaFortune]

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[@dancindebs1]

What is the raffle? Sex. I married someone I did not like sex with thinking he wouldn’t control me. He stole my home mortgage in short $500,000.00 plus equity. If we had good sex I may have known better. I was being grifted

[@kristi_vera_parker]

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[@UserTenNumbers]

I actually wouldn't mind forgoing the cash and the audience experience. The 10-minute call helps me a lot more. You are such an awesome interview host.

[@iwonapaprocka755]

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[@sabinevanderzwan3288]

She is so right, trust your instinct. I remember, as a 16-year-old girl, we were at our local festive week and on our way home to be offered a lift from a friend of a friend, and I was ushered into his car it was alright; he would drive me home, as we were driving, he said that he just had to get something from his home, he drove to the camp where he lived but then carried on driving into a field he got out of his car and went to the boot of his car. It was dark, close to midnight, and I felt a woosh of fear while sitting in the passenger seat. I just opened the door and ran towards the road took a giant leap over the ditch with water that was bordering the road. I don't know if he was going to do something, but it felt so wrong and strange for him to drive into a field and then go to the boot of his car that I wasn't going to ask and just had a flight response.

[@amberatartimec2564]

Yep, that was a good move.

[@nataliamyliavska8407]

I’ve heard so many stories like this! And the horrible thing is that you might have prevented something terrible happening to yourself but not to others girls who interacted with this man. And the only way to bring this person to justice is letting the horrible thing happen and surviving it and then for police to find out about it. Which for me sounds horrific😢

[@larslevinberget9558]

Nice story...do you have more?

[@lambchop6278]

@@nataliamyliavska8407 Not true. You report it to the police anyway. At least then, if one or more people do the same, the Police will watch him; and at least then, if or when he does commit crimes, they may be able to stop him sooner.

[@sabinevanderzwan3288]

@@nataliamyliavska8407 Yes, but I was young and scared and didn't know him. I did talk to the girl years later who ushered me into his car and asked who it was, but she couldn't remember

[@andreieugenia4658]

I am teaching high-school. In a volunteering programme I showed them the percentage of underage mums in Romania and also some explicit pictures of sexually transmitted diseases, I told them when drinking with groups to never lose themselves because one fun night might turn into a tragedy. I was double questioning myself if I should approach this matter because “freedom” now is acceptable. One of the girls came to me and told me I was exaggerating. Fast forward several months later she asked to meet me privately, broke up crying saying she was almost SA at a party by one of her closest male friends and by luck she escaped. Her mate remembered what I told them and warned her about keeping her drink safe and in her hand. That one went safe and sound home and this one got traumatised. Her tears were terrible. We are not exaggerating, especially with teenagers.

[@mercymwanga5750]

❤❤More teens need this

[@spaceted3977]

It's a Shame that Young Women won't listen to any Common Sense. But it's Evolution at Work ! STD Viruses and Bacteria are Determined to Survive, and Feminism is Making it Happen !

[@KayleeANNAytbe]

Scaring teenagers off isn't gonna avoid sexual deseases neither teen pregnancies. Teach them about protection and contraception instead of just scaring them off.

[@hisukserjeant5204]

U r absolutely correct! I see too many end up so sad way

[@_FJB_]

Learn from others or learn by experience. She chose experience.

[@KasunGamage]

Deciding NOT to have sex with just anyone means having discipline ,self-control, also and sexul empowerment..

[@sorcerrex7964]

i agree and i would even argue that that is actually sexual empowerment, you don't just give in to anyone or any whim you have, also you establish a position of "i have something precious i will only give to select people under certain circumstances"

[@saltycat662]

👏👏👏

[@dky4]

Yeah both men and women should be picky. I don’t understand why it has become a criticism that someone is “picky“. Find someone you like & trust before you do something so intimate (and risky)

[@jacquelynn2051]

@@btuesdayThat can be solved by a simple honest conversation.

[@I.Reckon]

True, but you've missed the point. Young people don't discuss social constructs and rules of consensual behaviour prior to engaging in some casual fun.

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Thank you for speaking on women's instincts. It's often looked down on, especially things like "the ick." Sometimes women are unrealistic or judgemental, but our instincts often save our lives. When young girls are taught their "womanly emotions" and judgements are less than, they are more likely to walk into dangerous situations.

[@EmDaMo]

Yeah, the book ‘The Gift of Fear’ by Gavin De Becker that she mentions is really great and definitely a recommended read(for men and women alike).

[@donotreadmyprofile9373]

yep and to be honest men calls us feminists when we speak up about feelings in a condescending way. As if nothing from us about sex is valid.

[@RealAfricanPatriot]

This is an idiotic line of thinking and having icks just make you socially r*arded. Girl, there is no magic fairy sitting in your brain sending you this info, nothing about your icks is impossible to assess or beyond your perception. It all comes from you, literally. Just listen to yourself. Learn how to do it. The fact that we're even having this conversation is due to terrifying global phenomenon, seems like more and more humans are unable to have an internal dialogue. Emotional regulation is literally a skill that you should develop as a child, but children cannot do this because they are never left truly alone with themselves. and no, being alone ie. sitting on your phone is not being alone, humans never had this many external stimuli for the entire history of human race, you were meant to be alone with yourself, this became impossible nowadays it was bad with previous generations but today with social media its impossible I mean first commercial radio broadcasts started in 1920 ffs.

[@elladavies8380]

It is bizarre to me that these are considered 'unpopular opinions.' As a woman I completely relate to everything Louise said.

[@sa34zo5em]

It's unpopular because the voices are shamed by the loudest

[@riceandbeansandandoil]

Its unpopular because men control what is considered "valid" in society.

[@x2oChannel]

As a man, I also fully endorse her opinions

[@iffyk]

I think it’s because some may view her stance as placing a moral currency on sexuality. I feel like this is wrong. People are different and that is okay. If a woman wants to wait for marriage- that should absolutely be her choice and she should find a partner that supports it. But if a woman wants to be promiscuous, that is also her choice and i don’t view her any less than the one who waited. We need to normalize understanding that different people want different things and no one is better than the other. Consent and communication are the keys.

[@pragMASTRO]

Yes but how old and experienced are you? You dont expect the youth have the same experience and wisdom as yourself, right? ;)

[@TharsisianRegion]

The most heartbreaking thing about this talk is hear about young women who don’t really want sex, go along with it because it’s now the social norm. I hope they get the message, it’s not worth doing something you don’t really want to do just because it’s normal now. Having sex never a way to get commitment from a man. It costs a woman the most and is least effective.

[@Mel-by7re]

well men want to make it appear normal so the women budge to their desires when they don't care for the lady at all.

[@sadiqdelil5189]

That's why so many young females revert to Islam. God loves them and protects them even if their fathers and society failed them.

[@user-xr5sv6ug2d]

Yes, I have several lady friends that are single moms. It’s sad because they think they’ll never find anyone to marry. I know there are single dads too but I’m just saying because there are more single moms.

[@agentin00katz14]

It's not just nowadays. I live in Germany and I let a 20 years old deflower me when I was 15 years old. I didn't want it, I was far from ready to let an other person enter my body. But I sort of planned it, because of the indirect pressure from my friends and peers, who were basically fucking around at this young age. When I look back now, there are many layers to the causes or reasons why young girls become sexually active, though they don't want it. But first of all I have to say: the healthier the family dynamics/backgrounds of young girls, the healthier their decisions are. If your daughter feels save and welcomed at home, the more self respect she will have, because she's not feeling a need to look for "shelter" with people who could harm her. It's simply and no news. In my case, I thought I have to please the young man in order to escape my home. If anybody would have been telling me how much this hurt me for the rest of my life (for relationships and sexually), if somebody would have helped my mother to make me feel safe, I wouldn't have been running either to my friends houses or the young men's.

[@sadiqdelil5189]

@@agentin00katz14 I totally understand you.I am from a broken family. For me, when I found a structured religion, everything made sense. Also secularism does not make it easy for people to respect themselves. YOLO philosophy is the worst advisor for a young girl.

[@gealove3007]

I remember all the sexual encounters I had when I was a teenager, I never initiated it nor wanted to do it. It was always the guy initiating and I went with it because I just thought it was the cool thing to do or I wanted to “please” the guy I liked and all my friends were doing it. I don’t remember a time where I really wanted to do it or not felt pressured. Casual sex left me with a lot of trauma, I’m in my 30’s now and I wish I was more educated on the subject back then so I wouldn’t have gone through that. I’m happy that you are speaking on this topic cause is SUPER important, parents should teach you these things but sometimes they fail, thanks.

[@JLTravels]

Yes, I experienced no sex education - shame on parents & education system!

[@ColorsFlight]

yes this is 100% what many of us went through as teenagers. I don't think Gen X was very good parents. They had a lot of weird trauma and I think they thought a more hands off parenting approach was better for us. It most definitely was not. My daughter is 14 and I don't see that so much happening with her. I have been really honest with her what I went through I parent and protect her more

[@annaku_fudgealickcious]

i have no shame in having casual sex in my teens and early 20s. i looooovvveee it! sadly, im 40 years old now, and i'm bored out of my mind with a steady relationship.

[@rachelgoodkind6545]

The globalist culture has promoted casual sex and many other things that have harmed females

[@Oliver-Closeoff]

You wanted plausible deniability

[@destyi1998]

I wished she talked more about women’s sexual desire. She talks about waiting, talks about what happens when men are sexless…but what about sexless women? I feel like she doesn’t address women who have sexual desires. It’s not as simple as waiting, especially when you are single an indefinite amount of time

[@destyi1998]

When she said that women shouldn’t be in combat roles, I questioned her. Steven gave a really good example of how a woman de escalated a situation. I feel like that women is providing info from a very narrowed perspective personally

[@knowledgelibrary1141]

It's clear what men do when they're sexless and frustrated. Do you know what women do in that case?

[@yusufraage8554]

As a woman talking about a women's sexual desire is painful because then they will wake up the majority of men and women dont want to wake up those suckers.

[@staffanlundberg]

Just go ahead girl and do what You want to do ! I´m 76 years young which means I was there in the 60´ s and 70´s cultivating and observing the effects of the pill on women´s sexual appetite and behaviour. She wasn´t there then and she does not have access to my experiences and knowledge of what happened. Imo she does not understand the full picture. The pill was a great relief for both men and women. Finally we could build relations based on our sexuality. This was the sexual revolution and we saw it as a great positive. There was no doubts in our minds and we as a generation started to bond not just in pairs but also in groups changing our ways to the better. We started to look for peace and love as the foundation for relations. Both men and women did that. We also started to protest against materialism. Me, I took part in the student revolt to fight the war in Vietnam and the capitalists growing influence at the universities. And we were for a while a growing group of young people becoming influential on the way the society developed. Then came society´s reaction against us. It started with the war on drugs which suddenly also included cannabis. Nixon was behind that because the hippies in USA that preferred to relax with cannabis and magic mushrooms raqther then whisky had managed to stop the Vietnam war through their protests. Then the capitalists followed up on that by introducing the AIDS epidemic using falsified scientific data (google "Duesberg AIDS" ) through a corrupt medical industry dominated by the Rockefellers. These two measures by the "elites" in combination with their control of mass media and research institutions totally changed young people´s behaviour, stopped the sexual revolution and caused the beginning of the separation of men and women. It also stopped the peace movements as the peace protests had grown out of the love people found for eachother when they bonded and shared sexual experiences together. My point with this comment is to say that the guest in this video is searching explanations she can find in her historical view of the society but she misses that the society is dominated by the "elites" and they don´t accept us ordinary people to bond for reasons they see as wrong. Imo the reason for the failing relations between men and women today is the "elites" manipulations of just about anything they need to manipulate to guarantee that society developes in their preferred direction. The misery we see today in the world is imo much the effect of their control. We see the growing wars now including nuclear threats. We see diminishing human rights like in the war on Gaza, now classified as a genocide by the ICC. Still supported by our "elites" . They are to blame for the misery in the west including our sexual and relational misery because they do not share the same values as we do: Peace and love. 💗

[@dianneking8337]

Ya I agree ,this person is forgetting what drives a female is beyond culture.Teach your daughters about how sex should be always 2 things Pleasurable and consensual...also boys deal with rape culture just as horrifically, in team sports and otherwise ....I don't know if this a gender thing at all?

[@scottparish6666]

'Unpopular' ? Seriously ? What this woman speaks is common sense & of no surprise to anyone able to think critically

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

Yes. These are also men that don't really want a partner because that takes effort and upkeep

[@sammiee63]

There's also a lot of people who don't have common sense 😕. It is common sense but not a " popular opinion".

[@yasminogbu8929]

Yep

[@steeldriver1776]

@@Sarah-with-an-Hmore like risk. Men can’t afford the risk of having a woman. We’re viewed as a payday the second they want a divorce, which is initiated by women over 80% of the time. As a result of not taking the risk, the upkeep and effort isn’t needed.

[@chrisallen19821982]

@@Sarah-with-an-H I would add the word unrealistic before effort and upkeep ------- in a lot of cases

[@JesiErin]

I love that she gave it a name: “empathy gap.” Closing the empathy gap between men and women in both directions is a good first step. Being married for 10 years and raising a son has helped me with that, but growing up with only sisters made me pretty oblivious to the male psyche in my early years.

[@TGP109]

You can have brothers, as I do and still not understand men.

[@edithead5994]

100%! I wonder though if maybe the reason why women respond to sex in a much more negative way than men do is because of cultures that enable slut shaming? I feel like women for so long were basically forbidden to be able to express their sexuality as free as men and so there is literally generations of shame that's being placed on them.

[@frankturner316]

@@edithead5994 I don't think men respond to sex in a positive way. Look at porn, it is all about destroying and violating women through sex.

[@viktorijakarakulko949]

​@@edithead5994well, it's not only that women were forbidden to express their sexuality, it's also the fact that for a long time there was no contraception.

[@smokingcrab2290]

All women are oblivious to the male psyche

[@scoop1871]

I’m so glad someone is finally telling the truth and doesn’t care what society thinks. The fact that it is “unpopular” or “controversial” for a woman to prioritize her mental and emotional health and not give herself away to any guy speaks volumes about how much society has “progressed.” If only more women would come together and be heard because casual sex doesn’t serve us. Casual sex may feel good in the moment but it almost always leaves women feeling empty, used, and unfulfilled. We need to speak up and change the culture.

[@JewTube001]

truth? its an opinion

[@ОфелияИрина]

​@JewTube001 and her "facts" are not really honestly presented

[@bingaling22]

@@ОфелияИрина @JewTube001 are you both Men ? I would really like to know.

[@Ozzy-Mag]

@@JewTube001if you think biology is an opinion you are wrong

[@blauespony1013]

Let's start with the rape argument. Rape in a partnership is more common than outside. Rape in friendship circles etc. way more common than with a stranger. Rape is mostly about power not about sex, why else would babys or older woman get raped (and yes, that happens). Maybe women feel empty because they get shamed a lot? Because there is this internalised idea of "I had casual sex, I am a bad person"? Here's the thing: There should not be pressure on women to sleep with a guy ("third date" comes to mind), but there should not be pressure to not sleep with a guy if both people feel like it. And yes, listen to your icks - that's the one thing I can get behind. You'd never be able to let yourself be comfortable with a dude you have icks about.

[@IdreamIsoar]

It boils down to mutual respect. The problem lies with generations of the male gender looking down on the female gender based on patriarchal notions of valued characteristics rather than accepting that males and females have different characteristics that complement each other.

[@ericashafovaloff2002]

I like how she mentioned being "friends with benefits" can impact decision making. I think this is a huge factor that is overlooked and leads to unhappiness. I enjoyed watching this and wished I'd had something like this to watch in my health classes as an adolescent or teenager. It seems like a useful tool to preserve the mental health of younger and older women.

[@antinutjobs]

FWB is super disgusting method for guys not wanting a relationship. An ex friend of mine who I've befriend many years asked me to consider FWB, and sadly I agreed to it in hope to elevate sparks in chemistry....there were sparks alright but he was just using me to get by while flirting with another girl....

[@taniacummings9207]

Instead, look at what they are teaching in schools from a very young age. Most parents don't know and it's carefully kept from them. One pre teen girl brought home homework requiring her to speak to her father about his $exual function and org as ms. This is in Australia.

[@83drika]

@@antinutjobs the problem is that you had expectations....the whole thing with fwb is that you're friends, not romantic partners. Ive done that once and was not interested at all in a relationship with that person, we were just lonely and it filled the void till we found our SO

[@DaveDDD]

@@taniacummings9207hey genius, if they’re being taught about something in secret, how does it make sense to assign homework that specifically makes them share it with their parents? Your story makes no sense, so you’re either wrong or lying.

[@lellamas2778]

I'd hate to imagine what sex education looks like these days. I don't think they even know what a real woman is

[@NAVEENKUMAR-pu8yd]

As a father to several daughters i fear for the future and consistently work to educate them on trusting your instincts. Excellent episode

[@sabrinad3679]

You realize what you have done as a man

[@blondie9422]

Show them this video. When I was a teenager I would listen to other adults in authority but thought my parents were embarrassing and annoying

[@_nimrod92]

Trust your instincts what a low quality answer. Your daughters will look for a man that share the ideas that you provided them in looking for partner. Parents are the first thing children look for in similar traits. You have to guide them in being selective not trusting their feelings.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

@@_nimrod92 although, being attuned to your own feelings and believing that how you feeling is an important piece of data. I think I was raised to dismiss how I felt! I was raised to ignore how I felt

[@RuthBeyond50]

Really good advice. Share with them the book, The gift of fear which goes deep on this

[@elismycat]

Steve you are one of the best interviewers out there! No ego, you listen with the intent to learn and understand, no agression, judgement or bias. Great questions and elegance.

[@AuntNessie-u2e]

I agree, it’s what makes the viewer respect him, his gives respect therefore he earns our respect

[@alexcoyg3281]

Great comment. Listening is one of the best skills and knowing when to ask the right questions is almost an art.❤

[@alexcoyg3281]

Women do not watch porn or buy sex not because they don't like sex as much as men-women enjoy different type of attraction, they do not need visual stimulation as much as audio/thoughts/emotional engagement. Its a different mindset from a mans, more designed to get to know the subject of the relationship.

[@lollian2782]

Being just a mum isn’t worse but it is a risk to depend on another person’s emotions for your financial security and to avoid falling into poverty. The speaker is not addressing these elements.

[@anniefrank3249]

Totally agree! I feel like it’s not addressed because there’s no solution yet

[@soundsaboutright---]

Yea. It underscores the fact that women need their own income and subsequently men need to be more present fathers

[@shannarythe3837]

Especially if he's 6 foot Chad and not just a regular guy you don't want

[@queenj.8i895]

Sex is never casual even when ppl try to treat it that way. Too many males and females just don’t understand what they’re really engaging in and opening themselves up to. We need a lot more teaching and talks like this. 🙏🏽⚡️🔥❤️‍🔥

[@MoiraiScarlet]

I never experienced casual sex myself. But just basing on what my friend (Who've been engaging in it) told me, it also has to do with loneliness and trying to fulfill this kind of "need" just because not everyone can even afford time, money and emotion to invest in a relationship. Sometimes it's just the sad fact that people wanted all the benefits in the relationship but not the responsibilities that comes with it.

[@lizzylivin27]

@@MoiraiScarlet it’s a complete opposite to what you describe. A lot of people actually do have the time money to invest into a to one person but they deem it as too stressful or not worth it emotionally find it taxing so always put more effort in casual sex and persuading women to engage with it 😢

[@ceilconstante640]

We definitely need more education about consequences. Low self esteem can be a reason for engaging in casual sex.

[@MoiraiScarlet]

@@ceilconstante640 True. When it comes to education also, it should be a balance of being conservative and liberated view. Too much conservative approach would censor people on the important things they need to know. While admittingly, being on the other end of extreme liberation is also the reason why people have been neglecting the basics such as emotional intimacy and unhealthy practices. People should treat sex with more respect. Not a bargaining chip hoping to hold someone hostage or do anything for it, not even pay someone and hope they'll give you that. It's something only reserved for the person who deserved it.

[@ceilconstante640]

@@MoiraiScarlet it's not a political issue. It's an issue of looking deeply at choices to avoid negative consequences. And learning about how one feels about themselves and how that reflects on their choices. The only political issue of today is denial of abortion even if a woman and the baby's life is in danger.

[@lynclarke6184]

Steven is the best interviewer because he really listens to his guests without pedantic comments or obvious judgement. Love his podcasts.

[@lauramr6094]

100% agree. He amazes me & also the fact that he always has interesting questions to make the dialogue richer! I love it

[@chiyopipi5672]

Not for this one though I could feel his bias coming through. I think because he’s not marrying his gf and he felt called out 😅

[@شاهينشاهين-ص2ق]

That's why he is successful & he is followed by millions in his channel unlike the annoying people who interrupt their guests forbid them from completing their ideas & took the subjects elsewhere & distract us the audience & annoy us so thank you Steven

[@Oliver-Closeoff]

Yeah, I just love that he gives no pushback

[@annieamydavies5190]

Even those he doesn't agree with and who visibly irritate him, like in this case! LOL!

[@wanderingromance]

Casual sex just never made sense to me, always seemed like disassociation was essential to making it feel “casual” “comfortable” and “normal”. It just doesn’t add up. Most humans would never share a toothbrush with another human, but having sexual encounters (swapping body fluids sexually, letting someone inside you/ being inside of someone - which literally is the closest you can ever get in all senses, and simply being intimate) is considered less icky/bizarre than that? It just proves that we are conditioned to be casual about our bodies/ minds/ souls in this specific way as a social thing. It’s so backwards. Someone can have sex with you and not actually care about your well-being in the slightest… I’d much prefer to be cared for primarily and know someone intimately (in the non sexual way), then later have sex with that person. It just makes so much more sense, and yet you’re likely to be made to feel like a fool for wanting the latter and not the former😅 This is why I’m a huge fan of not explaining self. Just saying no when someone makes sexual advancements is more than sufficient and that is a culture that should go viral.

[@Vindicador01]

Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.

[@gayeinggs5179]

Yes totally agree with all of that !

[@gayeinggs5179]

Yes no is a word that we should all learn

[@kitamiwoome9349]

You are 100% correct in your statement. But I am curious, who is putting you down for wanting to wait to have sex with the right person?

[@Vindicador01]

@@wanderingromance Yes yes but we incels are right,women control dating and sex,women have unlimited options,women have all the power,women have it so easy Also women say so much shit about "oh i only can have sex in long-term relationship because security,trust blah blah"and after 2 years they lose attraction to the man so i dont think women words can be trusted.

[@colinboniface194]

How refreshingly rewarding it is to watch such an intelligent conversation on human interaction... I didn't expect such a high quality, confident expression of opinion...

[@uceemeforeal8185]

I'm curious, why didn't you expect that?

[@colinboniface194]

@@uceemeforeal8185 It is rare to listen to such direct questions, and have what sounded to me, as very qualified answers that made sense... An important discussion with no apprehension... Quite remarkable...

[@hudson2861]

I absolutely crave such conversations. It is nearly impossible to sit and have a discussion like this with anyone about anything that isn't trending, gossip, irrelevant, boring or the newest one in my "circle" is anything that does not fall into the aforementioned categories is completely off limits and will not be discussed. The art and skill of this type of conversation is nearly dead, it seems, anywhere outside of podcasts. The days are gone when I could sit in a cafe or bar with friends or strangers and just start having an exchange with substance and without someone looking to be offended or someone trying to offend. God forbid you strike up a subject at any family gathering that doesn't have to do with shopping, cooking or gossip you get reminded immediately that you are no PHD and as such you don't know what you are talking about so stay in your lane. It's bad. These are the same friends, family and acquaintances that create dozens of back and forth texts, again about only the aforementioned shallow topics, from the initial one asking what time is dinner. It is pathetic and ignorant and keeps me from wanting to socialize at all. Excellent podcast. Absolutely excellent guest. I'm buying the book. Thank you.

[@FortressOfTheWolfMoon]

I’m pregnant for the first time and I’ve waited my whole life for this man and this baby and it means the world to me.

[@BetterLoveMovement]

CONGRATULATIONS‼️ God bless you and your baby.😊

[@LuminescentShine]

Congrats😊

[@Gallowglass7]

Congratulations! All the best guys

[@jimdandy8996]

...until he bails.

[@aprilapril2]

@@jimdandy8996he might not

[@itsshierlz]

I grew up in an Asian country where sex before marriage was very much a taboo and pregnancy out of wedlock was a scandal. I moved to a Western country in my teen years and the culture was so different, I went from feeling the “pressure” to stay a virgin before marriage to the opposite way around where I was feeling almost ashamed of being a virgin in my 20s. Truth be told I agree with Louise Perry completely.. I’ve never enjoyed casual sex. Not the type who could have one without feeling attached or bonded, so I’d never do it. As I got older I’m now actually proud to have what they would call an “extremely low body count” these days. I think a healthy middle ground is to only have sex with someone when you’re in a committed relationship. The problem is these days in most western countries a lot of men wouldn’t wait because if you wouldn’t “put out” they’d just go find someone else who would. The key is to have every woman everywhere to stop engaging in casual sex, and you’d see men willing to commit again.

[@v9b23j]

Women are the gatekeepers of sex (and always will be).

[@BetterLoveMovement]

AMEN‼️If only all women would come together in solidarity on this issue, I believe we could turn this degenerate culture around!🤨💯

[@cavaleirosemlicenca3894]

Women would never go back on this behavior, the rebellious factor still prevails. Furthermore, men don't need to worry about religious morality, they can have easy access to sex or they can simply afford a call girl. Once a behavior becomes culturally normal, it is unlikely that the population will go back on that behavior.

[@v9b23j]

Women are (or used to be) the gatekeepers of sex. Before the sexual revolution, if a man wasn't prosocial and loyal to his woman, if he didn't have a job, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to have sex, as Louise said. Because sex was an expression of intimacy, an act of commitment and procreation that preceded a family union called marriage. A woman having sex with a man meant, "Your genes are good enough for me to carry in my womb for 9 months and continue the lineage".

[@Totsy30]

Agreed. I think a lot of women believe that giving sex early will get a guy, who they perceive as high quality, to commit. True high quality dudes aren't going to be offended if you don't give sex early. The only dudes getting offended or leaving to find another girl who will "put out" are not high quality guys. They may be high status or high income, but that does not equal high quality in commitment.

[@AnnMitt]

Exercise daily, eat healthy, and keep busy doing meaningful tasks. Forget about soulless sex with strangers. That's just disgusting.

[@howareyou857]

It's not disgusting but it is possibly unhelpful for some people

[@upendasana7857]

what about soulless sex inside a long term marriage or relationship ? many assaults and domestic violence and abuse happens within long term relationships and with men that are known to the women.I'm not advocating "casual sex"or sex with strangers"but your point ignores many of the instances wherein domestic abuse and r*pe often happens.R*ape within marriage was not even recognised or outlawed until the 90's bfore that r*ape within marriage was pretty much normalised.

[@AnnMitt]

@howareyou857 it is disgusting, and you are putting yourself at risk for STDs. Get control of your brain. Don't be weak and creepy. Gross.

[@AnnMitt]

@@howareyou857 Go ahead and put yourself at risk for STDs. Your body, your choice. 🤮

[@AnnMitt]

And those who have sex with strangers are putting themselves at risk for STDs. Use your brain to have control and dignity.

[@TmblDryLo]

A big part of the reason this is becoming so prevalent is because TV shows and movies are constantly showing two people who barely know each other jumping into bed at the slightest sign of any sort of connection between them. It’s ridiculous.

[@marika7782]

And then there’s Game of Thrones… ick

[@Lord_Juvens]

@@marika7782 What's wrong with GoT in this context? It's pretty much leaned on real life and not an abnormal exaggeration of something sexual.

[@VersacePokemon]

Why this woman is considered “controversial” is quite alarming and says a lot about the society we’re living in today. To be promoting healthy habits, for both men and women, and healthy happy families, what a monster! I watch almost every episode and this is one of the few I actually finished in its entirety. Excellent guest, very informative and very important episode.

[@Coffee_is_ready]

I would find anyone NOT be considered controversial to be alarming in a society. That would mean we do not allow for different view points, life styles, and opinions to be valid and okay. There is not one way to live you life. And anyone who pushes one way of life, is mostly acting in bad faith and just wants power and control over someone else's life. It is important to ALWAYS be critical. Nobody is always right and always perfect. Not being critical is the basis of unhealthy cults.

[@MelOBrien-12]

Totally agree. This was one episode I couldn’t help but consume in one go. Wish I watched it with someone to discuss it with them.

[@sadiqdelil5189]

I was an 18 year old girl when I reverted to Islam. God protects women because he knows us best!

[@mana-uv7cz]

She is not controversial they are hyping that up. This generation is having the least amount of sex. And if you go on TikTok/IG no academics are saying the same thing she is.

[@Coffee_is_ready]

@@sadiqdelil5189 Sure, Jean. Hope you get out of you brainwashing at one point. I wish you the best.

[@Iknow_xo]

As a young woman navigating the modern world of dating apps, the pill, pornograpgy exc. I've noticed all of these have DEEPLY affected me and my peers in various ways. I am so incredibly happy that she is speaking out about these even though it may seem "controversial"❤ THANK YOU for giving her and her message a huge platform!🙏🏼

[@larilarixxon]

Its crazy almost all my friends (female or male) have been „mentioned“ or are rather affected with this

[@colin562]

Problem is after porn and dating you still do not know what good sex is and that can damage a relationship dramatically

[@herzallerliebst]

I mean it's not as if any of this were new. We just choose who we want to listen to and trust in. I think these catastrophes mostly affect women, who simply don't have any decent man in their lifes to learn from and relate to. So they simply would not know any better and listen to the harpies instead.

[@richardprice5978]

@@colin562 in my childhood home there was a lacklustre sexual education experience ( school wasn't much better as they used literally blurred/stick-figures ect ) so monogamous married first 90day's in or so was a shock to me mentality 20-26yo~ so im not in full agreement with your views or her's/video's and if i was to give myself advice as a teenager/20's be more open/willingness as after honeymoon is over for the 1st-time isn't worth the risks id say somewhere around the 3d-9th-date/30day's-in-dating is probably a good point ( me-2 is what changes it for me to be more careful-ect and well as the negative outcome of being cleaned out by court's by not test-driving ) to see if bedtime including sleeping+sex-prefences ( one of my shocks was she was closeted bi aka she liked/crush her bestie that i didn't notice at first, she still playing it straight-game not mentally healthy for her or her-partner's-ect ) is a good-fit ect rather than being blindsided by surprises ect again sexual therapy talking or live-coaching or hand's-on ( 25yo+ and college masters ect and STD testing ect aka well regulated, found out im not talking only i need the in-room help in some form to break silence+bad-habits-ect and for it to stick-longer ) is sometimes valuable to brake bad-habits and yes undagoisted decease's or addicting behaviour's can be helpful to moderation is key, aka yes someone can have a porn-addict or spending$$/time and yes that can wreak marriage's if left untreated sameness for avoiding intimacy/nudity like i have and or uncomfortable being or giving the central attention like bi/polly marriage/commited-3way-sex can bring and or fomo by them separated-dating/sexually activity's but i reminded myself that it's a different experience/type than i can give and it's unrealistic for one of them only to filling my companionship/mental-health-need's or being the best homemaker ect

[@koolaid3010]

I could never date a girl who watched porn

[@happiness4541]

I’m finally glad people are being straight up honest about this.

[@Redhanded26]

There not its just a podcast 🙃

[@emberscott]

@@Redhanded26 They're not being honest. It's narrative. They're trying focus blame, reason for the crisis, at males... but it takes two. If there is a crisis of sexless men then there is also a crisis of sexless women. Well unless every chad is out there boning 10-15 women a week. The truth is that there's a crisis of sexless men and sexless women, sexless people.

[@zeroy]

About what? She is a tosser, uses anecdotal shit from Reddit to push some weird agenda.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@Redhanded26 Even the host of this podcast is shacking up with a woman, taking up her childbearing years. He could bolt at any time for any reason.

[@faolin4789]

​@@FreeSpirit47And she can leave when she wants to. Enjoy your freedom that your ancestors fought so much for.

[@usermicha88]

Genial, man ist nicht alleine mit diesen Gefühlen und Gedankengängen. Echt mutig darüber zu sprechen.

[@flugjung]

She is full of common sense. I’m a divorced man in my late 40s, physically fit and good looking. Naturally finding someone to sleep around was not hard but after trying it with a few partners I have strongly decided against it. Sex is not just only an isolated activity but something deeply emotional and spiritual that I just don’t want to share with someone I met in a bar. One of my ex partners was really gorgeous but despite that I felt empty. I have been oversexed to the extreme by movies, music, social media and so on. I have decided to focus on raising my children, make myself better and along the way I’m going to meet someone who wants something more than casual sex. And I don’t really care if it never happens .

[@ReleasewithPhilece]

I agree

[@jmanke6057]

@@flugjung I can see that. I get busy on projects and don’t find myself having time unless it was all perfect and fantastic that does comes along I will most likely age out before having kids and won’t add to the numbers because I worry to much about culture norms. But if timing and everything ever perfect maybe but I may be immature because young perfect women are only ones showing interest in a loving way. I am twice their age so I feel funny. The ones my age love the areas they live and I don’t enjoy those places as much as other areas. They are widows and divorces and nice but harmed by last love so I get to much grief women with trust issues or something. I did nothing bad why do I have carry freight of their last love. So I will be alone or married to one too young and my family will rib me about. Guess I should check to see range current society thinks appropriate.

[@jmanke6057]

Na I will just find another project

[@juliecarne7706]

I hope you find your dream woman who values herself more than seeking constant adulation from strangers on these dating apps.

[@juliecarne7706]

Boys today want to experiment due to easy porn as see girls as just objects for fulfilling their urges

[@JakeIsTiredd]

I'm 27 and never had sex. Granted I'm only attracted to people sexually if they have a compatible personality but despite the stigma I have 0 regrets and don't feel a need to. There's so much that can make us happy other than sex. If you can't engage with it in a healthy way, it's not worth it. I've seen friends, family strangers all give in and have regret, health issues, put themselves at risk, emotional instability and stress from stress. Weather you meet someone you're comfy with when you're young or later in life, it's worth the wait. Sex doesn't make you a better or worse person and it won't fix problems.

[@Z-Interceptor]

kudos to you. at the end of the day that choice is yours and i definitely understand your point of view

[@truthseeker95-1]

I was 26.5 when I gave my virginity to my boyfriend, who promised to marry me. We both grew up as devout Christian’s, so I trusted him and his words. The relationship got too real for him and he bailed. I was devastated. I have no regrets, but I was disappointed in him. I trusted and loved him and was ready to marry him. Given my experiences with men, until there’s a real commitment on the table like marriage, move carefully with sex. And don’t be pressured by society or any guy. Sex is beautiful when there’s love!

[@justusschwabedal5924]

I respect your choice, but I believe the goal shouldn't be to avoid sex. Really do go and try to find a person you might like long term. I wish you all the best

[@delphidg1753]

good for you. Sex is not as big a deal as people claim it is. It can leave you feeling really low and depressed because of the lack of connection. People use sex to fill a void in their life that needs to be addressed in other serious and mindful ways.

[@BadMannerKorea]

You claim you have zero regrets and then proceed to spend the entire comment justifying yourself. It’s quite obvious you have serious things to work on, and because of this, you have difficulty attracting a woman.

[@adelb7897]

This is why as a man, I consciously override the assumption of a womans interest in me by often reminding myself that it's much more likely shes not interested unless proven otherwise. Seems to work much better for me, leading to less rejection and less uncomfortable interactions. I think more men should realise that. If you think about it, the assumption of a woman being interested in you without much signs is a bit of a cope.

[@nesta8603]

Just dont let that stop you from approaching women. Ive noticed men just do not approach women anymore because they assume they are not interested or they dont want to offend the women. This is a mistake and it leaves women feeling like theres something wrong with them. If men stop approaching women and making the first move, relationships will cease to form.

[@adelb7897]

@@nesta8603 so men need to approach women so women can feel better about themselves? Nahh, women can work on their self confidence instead. Also I don't think it is necessary for all men to feel like they have to approach. I've had several relationships and none of them were from me approaching. Either the girl showed obvious interest or asked me out.

[@saganspirit]

@@nesta8603 those days are gone

[@jamesg3808]

@@nesta8603 Maybe there IS something wrong with the women. They are not approachable.

[@user-rb5vo7vn6y]

I appreciate your awareness and strategy. In my experience as a woman, there are far too many times where attraction was assumed and it made me feel icky and/or unsafe, and far too little times that I was treated with respect and approached in a way that made me feel safe and valued. It’s a tricky thing when you’re not sure if someone is interested and you don’t want to be rejected. However, I think there is a lot of maturity in being able to assume that it’s a no unless it’s actually a yes. I also think that it gives more opportunity to grow familiarity and attraction organically without the extra pressure.

[@jos3784]

She's so knowledgable and talks reason on so many taboo topics while remaining compassionate to both sides. I wish we could have more of that in our media, private conversations, everywhere

[@cygnusrays]

This is one of the most important talks I've ever listened to! It took me til my early 50's to realise this, wish I'd had that much needed guidance in my teens and 20's. The brainwashing of 60's-70's pop culture and peer pressure led to leading a lifestyle that was destroying me. Please Louise, write that book for the youth, they so desperately need to hear this. Hopefully the pendulum will swing and young people will come to know the comfort, security, fulfilment and elevation of true intimacy and loyalty.

[@taniacummings9207]

The whole '60s pop culture, make love not war, love is all you need, "cool" , the music, everything, was a deliberate social engineering project designed to undermine traditional family values, debase intimate and respectful love, remove God and religion (two separate things),.and completely unravel the fabric of a functioning society that had taken thousands of years to establish and which was the cornerstone of stability and procreation and furtherance of our own race and its values. This came down through the Frankfurt School and the Tavistock Institute and infiltrated the churches and educational system (the Long March through the institutions) and look where we are now. On the verge of complete abandonment of all cultural values that made the West strong. Children as young as 3 being taught to explore their bodies and more, unroll a rubber, (please comprehend my careful coding of language) lewdly graphic books in schools and libraries, confusion of what is M and F to the point where one Australian bureaucrat in Senate Estimates asked to define woman mumbled a word salad and said he'd have to take the question on notice. This is where we are. We stand for nothing and are ready to fall for anything. The conditioning is all but complete and full tyranny about to descend. Theosophy and Alice and Foster Bailey played a huge part in all this. Alice talked about a N W O and one world guv decades ago. Media brainwashing esp T V & unHoly Wood did the rest.

[@caitlincassandra]

I'm 27 and relate to this video so much. I just sent it to my 13 year old sister who, so far, is very true to herself which I love and is a quality I want to nurture and ensure does not get tainted by peer pressure! This video also really goes to show how every generation has their own issues they have to endure. So many people think every generation had it better than the last but that's only true for some aspects of life.

[@joanofarcxxi]

Louise, never feel badly about telling the truth. I am a counselor and I get really frustrated with the complaints I hear from women who have casual sex and regret it. Women are so miserable in the western world. They want to be the cool girl, they want to be low maintenance, they want to be open to experimentation, they agree to things that they don't want to do because they feel it's expected of them. They believe that if they are truthful with a man, they will lose him. But they cry many times when a guy ghosts them after they had sex with him. Sometimes they engage in a sexual relationship with a man which goes on indefinitely and without purpose. In the end, the men doesn't commit and she is left to repeat the same scenario all over again with another man. We as women need to change the narrative of casual hookup culture. It doesn't serve us.

[@kitty1256x]

Men suck. It's men need to change. Wimen just love and trust but men just use, abuse and leave.

[@karinland8533]

The western world? Please talk about the US if your opinion is rooted in experiences made in the US

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

@@karinland8533 it's not just the states culturally that this is occuring.

[@Flaubert]

Yes, the cool girl trope is pure poison

[@cantbendknee]

Why become frustrated with women when men aren’t responding to the change in culture.

[@rebeccastafford5316]

I have friends and family who have been involved in the sex industry, and curiously have noticed that publicly they defend it, but in personal conversations with them have confessed feeling miserably trapped...

[@Mr.Coffee20255]

Ask them do they feel an emptiness within

[@xzonia1]

They probably are miserably trapped. What other skills do they have? Do they have the ability to get another job that pays anywhere near what they get from doing that kind of work? It's hard for many to leave that line of work once in it, sadly. I wish them well and hope they find a path forward that brings them happiness.

[@СветланаБайгерова]

They will defend it. Otherwise, they'll have to admit that their whole life is just a big pointless failure.

[@louiseneuman-qv4rd]

Louise Perry raised many important issues and observations. Our young folk need to hear this, as do our adults and seniors. Happy, successful marriages have always been a challenge, pre and post pill. Personal relationships with family and friends need cultivating to increase our chances for happy marriages. Likewise, living a life without marriage.

[@chipsteve]

​@@СветланаБайгерова just like "normies" who are married with kids, working corporate jobs. They hate their lives (& hate Sunday nights).

[@GO-oi6pc]

I’m a married woman with young adults sons. Thanks for talking about this. I will buy your book. I needed some one that can explain better this kind of topic.

[@menow.]

Every teenage girl needs to hear this woman.

[@Mariesrares]

Why only girls? 😂 u know in order for a woman to “rank up her body count” men have to involved in that 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Thoist_Mong69]

Yeah become stuck up prudes.

[@rabicomedia]

If I had one thing to offer, I would give your video editorial team a lifetime chance to continue working. Your videos change lives.

[@Thoist_Mong69]

Prudes 😂

[@Desperate.Daniel.24-7]

The most awkward "hard" conversations are often the most important ones. Thank you for saying what needed to be said. This episode is a must watch for the young generation 15-35 age groups, esp. teenage girls.

[@12bluedragon]

This episode has given me the support I needed to keep waiting and not fall to sexual temptation! Thank you so much!

[@braveandbookish9626]

I read her book last year, and it was huge for me. My whole mindset completely shifted as she supported her case with science and studies to back her up. I’d never heard anyone support their stance without using religion as a backbone, and it was the paradigm shift of the century. Keeping in mind I don’t agree with 100% of her beliefs, but a grand majority.

[@hannayaya7413]

So correct me if I'm wrong but you're saying if religion would have been used to back up her claims, you would discount it, even though the consequences of casual sex are all around us? And maybe, just maybe religion - even if not your cup of tea was actually onto something? Huh.

[@braveandbookish9626]

@@hannayaya7413 Hi there, friend. This comment’s purpose is to pump up one heck of an author and a novel that anyone should read from any belief system. You’re looking for an argument where none needs to exist. Yes, you’re right- listening to an argument just based on religion was hard for me because I really love conclusions based on data and research that comes from credible studies. After reading her book, I experienced something called ✨personal growth✨. It’s a lovely experience, really. Personal growth could start for you by not scrolling through people’s comments on the internet, trying to find reasons to be upset. Let’s please get back to what matters- the book was excellent. If you haven’t read it, I recommend the audiobook. She narrated it really well. If you have, then I’d love to get some recommendations on books like this one if you have any? My background is Christian, but I am open to texts of any kind if you loved them.

[@hannayaya7413]

@@braveandbookish9626 You presume too much. I'm not looking for an argument. I only asked you a simple question because I was curious - you should answer it if you want to. And not sure if you're deflecting when you say you prefer research and data but you do realise that it is the conclusive evidence of the consequences of the casual, illicit sex that people are engaged in, when tallied together (which is the research) that becomes the data? Which would also clearly mean that the data doesn't address the problem but merely shows you that it exists? My point to you is this - maybe God foresaw this problem and tried to prevent it. Diminishing that because you prefer "data" which is nothing but the evidence of the consequences says a lot about what you revere and has no bearing on Universal Truth.

[@braveandbookish9626]

@@hannayaya7413hope you’re having a good day 🫶🏻♥️

[@Sara-zr5eo]

​@@hannayaya7413 If religion says it they would think its backward, but when its not backed up by religion then its facts and it shifts their mindsets... And becomes interesting although its basically same thing. I am muslim and I never had sexual relationships outside of marriage, I found them wrong first because of religion, but I knew religion only prevents something if its bad, and thinking about consequences and potential harm of casual sex just make it make sense why its forbidden in religion. But people have criticized us a lot, and i'm surprised that same things are said now but people find them interesting and ots completely different reaction to what we got when we say casual sex is harmful.. I don't get why all the hate

[@juniper1982]

I also love how she touched on how being “just a mom” is worse than having a more respectful proper job. Left my career when I had kids and really deeply feel this

[@dragonmom8406]

Same here. I feel looked down on.

[@alizahalon]

The people who look down on you would probably not be the best mothers. Some women do better outside of the home. You should never feel badly about being a stay at home mom. You have the most important job in the world. You are helping to shape society.

[@katet_33]

I went to a college prep high school that was very prestigious. Once I got to college I realized how expensive it was and I stopped going after I got my Associates Degree. I have felt deeply guilty for years about not having a career. But now I have been a SAHM for 11 years and my youngest just started kindergarten and my life is leagues better than it would have been if I'd focused on my career instead of propping up my then boyfriend, now husband. 20 years together this December and he's the only man I've been with. It makes our relationship even stronger.

[@chmarie]

Always encouraged women to stay at home more, to be there for their children, and be proud of it. I am a teacher (33 years of teaching ) and I can see how much better children and families (and women )are when the mother is there. At least only working in the morning and at home after midday ...

[@ankiking]

I would give you the same advice as a young person gets when bullied. This is their issue, not yours and you should go on being proud. As soon as you give into the feeling of being less, you are giving them power. Feel pride in being a mother!

[@SomeOne-oi5zp]

Loved this episode! She was a great guest, well spoken and has a very pleasant feminine energy! Also glad to see the push back on casual sex in our culture. As a woman it often makes me feel entrapped and powerless in my own feminity when the expectation of sex is looming over my head. We are not fruits to be eaten and discarded, sex thrives in a loving relationship with respect and honor.

[@AndradaBalteanu]

And feels better than the casual one 😂

[@zeroy]

She is the pits. She says everything and its opposite, hasn't a clue - also used cherry picking with studies. Her sources are anecdotal and mostly rubbish.

[@Redhanded26]

Agree with most of that, until you have kids and then many women lose interest, the guy feels rejected, the stress on the relationship becomes worse and the man looks elsewhere. Very complicated subject, not sure with stats on these things, logistics statistics and lies! :-)

[@I.Reckon]

You'r conflating casual social sex with a loving relationship. Louise was pointing to the many reasons for different behaviours by people.

[@SomeOne-oi5zp]

@@Redhanded26 I see your point and it is of course a tricky thing. I do however believe that though cheating might be understandable, it is never justified. A couple has to continuously work on their intimacy to keep the relationship alive. You're definitely right, that that is not an easy task for most people, but that is what makes it so valuable :)

[@mimineko1019]

I watched this whole podcast it was very long but I found myself wishing it was even longer! I loved this conversation it was oddly comforting. I'm happy to hear that another woman feels the same way and happy to see a man respecting said feelings.

[@TestAffect123]

Major respect. If all three of my sons, & my daughter listen as well you do, my job is done. 1st grandchild on the way... I will be sharing this podcast with all 4 of my children, because it speaks the TRUTH.

[@TylerDurden-FC99]

And what truth is that?

[@Redhanded26]

@@TylerDurden-FC99 The truth she wanted to hear more than likely! As always this podcast was about sex and women have turned it into relationships because unlike men they cant differentiate!

[@Ella-Bella2024]

@@TylerDurden-FC99 you may want to watch it again.

[@Dougytea]

Even the part about following your icks which sounds more like feelings and logic is minimal? Sorry but I can agree with the ick part.

[@paravoslife]

Everything she has said is completely true. When I was a teenage girl, pretty much every sexual experience I had wasn’t because I actually wanted to have sex, but because I felt pressured socially that if I didn’t, these guys I liked wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I know there’s girls who didn’t give into these pressures and have had much better relationships monogamously. Now that I’m married, I’ve been able to reflect with my husband on how differently we saw things as teenagers, girls need to be honest and bold to say no when they don’t want to have sex.

[@MsNatiBug]

And boys need to not take advantage of the extreme desperate validation seeking of girls. They know girls don’t want to. They PREFER that. There’s a word for it. Sorry you were so badly abused. As a girl who wanted it often and who also felt bold enough to say no, to say when, to say how, to kick fight bite and scream…. They prefer it when we say no. They never listened.

[@successartistry3023]

Here we go again, another woman failing to take accountability for her actions, and blaming everyone else

[@jesuissweet]

@@successartistry3023you’re an NPC incapable of original thought

[@medameg]

sooo women dont have hormones and only do it for show while men are naturally horndogs that should be excused?

[@purpleflows5680]

@@successartistry3023​​⁠what are you talking about? She literally said girls need to learn to be honest, say no, and be bold on their boundaries. How is that not taking responsibility? Who is the OP blaming? Can you read😂

[@janemartins4543]

I love the uncomfortable conversation. It is so refreshing to have someone be this honest. And lookism is a real thing. I work as a labour union counsellor and I have noticed that it is rare that good looking people come in to complain of poor treatment. It’s a fact.

[@POLYLIVING]

Interesting

[@angellekriedt]

What about guys or girls bullying someone bc they are pretty and they can’t have them or feel they can’t have them ?… Idk how true this statement is … because I recently got called cops on me just for doing makeup in a public bathroom the man was the manager and didn’t warn me at all just called the cops … I get poor treatment and get told I look like Avril Lavigne … so I doubt it’s 💯 true that pretty women get treated well bc if what people say about me is really true then just bc I get treated like absolute 💩by men and women doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ugly ya know ?

[@natassjafrancis4083]

This can’t possibly be true! I know multiple very good looking women who have been in abusive relationships. One of them was a model.

[@DopamineDecor]

😮

[@beatsg]

"Pretty privilege" is the coined term.

[@matthewbonner2261]

Thank You from the millions of us for speaking the TRUTH ! Don’t be afraid , we’re behind You , someday beside You !

[@Merbella]

Many people I know don't want kids bc of a failing society. Also, our food and toxins are killing sex drives and fertility due to hormonal imbalance.

[@POLYLIVING]

Big facts

[@LuminescentShine]

Facts

[@trinabaker3186]

Low tetesterone from lack of hardwork but rather sitting all day because of desk jobs or video gaming or whatever men do instead of hard physical work is destroying sex drive. ... along with women acting like psychopathic men ... instead of being femenine and gentle.

[@amymayrose6210]

Sadly very true

[@mohsinkhan8322]

Sadly true facts for the uk 🇬🇧 and This failed society we live in the uk! 🇬🇧

[@ambition112]

0:00: ⚠ Risks of casual sex for women, societal pressure, emotional bonding, and implications of waiting for engagement. 8:54: 🔑 Sexual violence and rape are not driven by sexual desire but by power dynamics and age-related factors. 17:31: ⚖ Sexual behavior differences between men and women in casual settings and their impact on culture. 26:01: ⚖ Gender dynamics in dating are influenced by the availability of contraception, leading to conflicts over timing of sexual activity. 34:42: ⚠ Importance of trusting instincts for personal safety highlighted in 'The Gift of Fear' book. 43:29: ⚖ Lowering physical standards in physical roles to accommodate more women can compromise safety and effectiveness. 51:27: ⏳ The importance of delaying sex until engagement due to tradeoffs and cultural norms. 59:12: ⚖ Polygamous systems can lead to social instability due to unequal distribution of partners, while involvement in childcare can lower men's aggression. 1:07:53: ⚖ Challenges of traditional marriage roles, high divorce rates, and impact on children's well-being. 1:16:24: ⚠ Concerns of sexual violence and impact of porn on children, leading to creation of young adult edition. 1:25:04: ⚠ Declining birth rates in South Korea due to cultural, societal, and modernity factors leading to potential population decline. 1:33:41: ⚠ Sexual dynamics, pornography consumption, and dangers of casual sex for women are discussed. 1:42:02: 💪 Evolutionary preferences in mate selection: balance of masculinity and aggression in men. Recapped using Tammy AI

[@alexandrastrauser5538]

for the second part (@8:54) she said that rape is not driven by power dynamics. she said rape is driven by biology, and occurring mainly during the time of testosterone peak in men.

[@jessicamoneley]

@@alexandrastrauser5538 Im worried that narrative may be twisted into some sort of excuse.

[@chayap.199]

They'd a red flag. Rape is definitely about violence and control​@@alexandrastrauser5538

[@destroymarxism2.0]

​@@alexandrastrauser5538 Thank you for catching that. I noticed that mistake right off. The original poster got it twisted around.

[@VictorVanVeen-p4k]

@@jessicamoneleyyeah because at the end of the day it’s a choice that’s being made by the r*pists.

[@lizocarrollkeycoach]

I’m 4yrs out of a coersive controlling marriage and have taken the time to heal and work on myself! This year I entered the dating scene, which is very different from 24yrs ago, and I’m finding dating apps are perpetuating this casual sex culture! I’m 48yrs old and absolutely not interested in hock ups or casual sex, but men my age still are. It’s very off putting and I’m glad I’ve done the work on myself and I’m now happy with my own company, because the current options to date are not enticing at all! Thanks for a very interesting discussion!

[@lks11]

@KennethFabritius its a used up feminist pay her no mind. They're all like this .. they eat the jwsh progaganda of equality and file for divorce

[@josephesposito3499]

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU

[@josephesposito3499]

LOL. They're not interested in you either. w0-MEN are over the hill afer 28

[@lauraeeeee]

@@josephesposito3499 shut up old man, stop yelling.

[@tinamenon1593]

​@@josephesposito3499Male projection is not a good look for anyone....😅

[@doicalvo]

Thanks!

[@magdalenagruna8454]

It is a question of intimacy. Intimacy is something very precious and delicate. Sharing it with casual people destroys it so much that eventually it vanishes. You can't open it public, crosse all your inner boundaries, and stay the same.

[@Thoist_Mong69]

Agree, which is why i prefer prostitutes over strangers.

[@sarahgibby2917]

Love her! I have raised my 20 yo daughter to wait. To avoid health risks: mental, physical and emotional. My parents never said anything to me about sex growing up. But Nancy Regan’s campaign on drugs (Just Say No) was a catchphrase I followed. Yes, I never did drugs.

[@TheDiaryOfACEO]

Glad this episode resonated with you! ❤️

[@stephaniereich1098]

I'd recommend that whoever wants to marry her, gets a comprehensive STD test for at least 1 year (twice, every 6 months). A lot of people have undetected herpes.

[@djaeger-k5m]

@@stephaniereich1098 honestly as a man, I'm kinda hesitant to bring this up as well... no one usually takes this kind of requisite without a grain of salt...

[@jonasmartinsen3439]

You should have tried some drugs

[@RealHomeRecording]

​@@stephaniereich1098herpes isn't the end of the world but... AIDS is something to be concerned with for sure.

[@herminembahmbole4047]

I just watched your interview with Evy, how you talked through DEI and a few minutes later you navigating an extremely polar opinion. It's mind blowing how gracefully and non judgmentally you listen to others, very beautiful to watch and sure is a hard skill. Hats off to you!

[@jahaira1124]

This is one of the most profound interviews I have listened and very timely as I go on my journey for healing past trauma of abandonment from my family and finding refuge in men at 13. As you can imagine it contributed to further trauma that gets embedded in to your psyche and destructive patterns of decision making. But when you understand the truth and the real dynamics of our wiring, it makes it easier to accept what is happenings nd make concious changes for a better and happier life. Thank you 😊

[@reagenarendse9209]

I came opened eyed into a relationship with my girlfriend who had two children. I married her and took her kids as my own. Step father I am now yes, but there is a stigma of them turning out as abusers. That shit never crossed my mind. Two years ago my stepdaughter married and I WALKED HER DOWN THE AISLE!

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

What stigma are you talking about? I didn't understand.

[@reagenarendse9209]

I am talking about the stigma or label that a stepfather is an abuser or molester( physical or mental)

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@reagenarendse9209 Oh. I get it, of course.

[@reagenarendse9209]

Beautiful and blessed day for you further

[@proudatheist2042]

​@@reagenarendse9209unfortunately, the sad truth is that a child's chances of being sexually, physically, and/or psychologically abused increase dramatically the minute a step parent enters the picture. Not all step parents abuse their step children, of course, but the probability of abuse increases. This is mentioned in The Consuming Instinct and on PubMed.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

I don’t think this should ever be controversial to discuss. It’s how my brother and I were raised as well. Neither of us slept around and it’s because these topics were discussed openly when we were young. It’s not just unhealthy for women, it’s unhealthy for anyone and it shows in society more and more.

[@Valentina-ei9eq]

" It’s not just unhealthy for women, it’s unhealthy for anyone", it is dangerous for any person, exactly.

[@lisaart5301]

Uhm yeah... But waiting till marriage is also not good. I agree still, but I think like just "not sleeping around" is not the point of this convo.

[@Thoist_Mong69]

Ok stay virgins then. Stop preaching it to us.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

@@Thoist_Mong69 shut up. Seriously.

[@Kirkaki_2015Klang]

​@@lisaart5301You don't need to wait until marriage but until you're ready. For every person this could be onother age. The society shouldn't be pushing the teens into sex because it's "normal".

[@DesmondPRyan]

Excellent episode. The notion of not having women in front-line policing roles (41:50 mark), however, doesn't hit the mark for me. I retired from policing after 30 years and some of my best partners were women. Anecdotally, the mere presence of a female office at a volatile scene more often than not deescalated the situation. Also, much of front line policing is responding to victims, and my experience has been that both men and women respond very well to female officers. As far as fitness standards go: I have never been asked to drop and do a single push up during my years as a front-line officer.

[@RawOlympia]

interesting!

[@karinland8533]

Yes that part was really weird. First she explained how women are better in sensing danger wouldn’t that be a very useful asset in police

[@shellyjoseph3109]

I have always thought it's a good balance to have men and women because each brings something key to.the role of policing

[@emem2863]

I wondered if this was maybe specific to the UK. Usually, American police have a partner and are rarely alone while on duty as a beat officer.

[@leemilne-2859]

Interesting interview in parts however Kinda feel she contradicts herself on a number of points she tries to make. There’s also fleeting “whatever’s” used during statements which in part eludes to her bias towards certain sex. Not convinced that some figures and stats she pulls off as being accurate

[@SABJ44]

WOW!! What a conversation. Learned so much and grateful that we're finally talking more about this topic.

[@72586jejones]

I was a virgin when I got married. No regrets. There were some embarrassing conversations along the way when I told men I was waiting to have sex until marriage. They left. It hurt, but just realized these were not patient men who could exercise self-control. That is not someone a woman should want to be married to. Much of life is waiting and needing to be patient, and you should definitely marry someone who exercises these traits. Waiting until marriage for sex is kind of like the first test of someone's self-control, self-regulation, and patience. If you can wait for sex, you can wait for most anything in life. Looking back, waiting for sex was extremely empowering. It was my first step in learning to say "No" to men who wanted to control me. You want to exert you power over men? Don't offer up your body so freely. Also, on guns, it is the great equalizer for women against men. I recommend every woman have one.

[@vmb371]

Damn that took an unexpected turn at the end 💀

[@72586jejones]

@@vmb371 haha right!? I won't deny it. She mentioned guns at one point, so I tossed in my opinion. To me, every women should have one for proty. We don't have a physical advantage, so having the ability to protect ourselves and those we love is a must

[@maga-hat709]

Just dont change your ways when you get divorced. Cos 99,99% of women do go absolutely crazy after divorce, even those who were virgins before that marriage. It's heartbreakingly sad to see.

[@72586jejones]

@@maga-hat709 awe what a sweet person you are to assume that everyone gets divorced. You must be a blast at parties. Huns, if my marriage can make it through two rounds of PPD, one special needs child, taking care of an elderly dementia relative in our house for five years, and bouts of poverty, all in under 14 years of marriage, I am pretty sure we are going to make.

[@maga-hat709]

@@72586jejones i'm all for the statistics, my own personal opinions don't matter. If more than 70% of marriages fail in the USA today, it's pretty fair to assume that everyone who makes that foolish decision to marry someone in the present day western world, will eventually end up in divorce.

[@Annabelarhin]

She is speaking truth. I think we underestimate how much stronger men are compared to women, and in a private setting how men can impose their strength and over dominate in a situation. Not saying rape but definitely not wanted and enforced anyway.

[@j.e.3470]

Truth!

[@rawminimalist9043]

Yep, this happened to me and I'm still trying to make sense of it, I confronted the guy about it and he dismisses me. We no longer talk but I'm literally fearful of men and being alone with them at this point.

[@GillianWard-h5r]

Its not seen as rape but the research shows 70% of women will freeze appearing to consent There can be no implied consent in a power imbalance If a woman isnt directly openly consenting theres a pretty good chance it is RAPE that will go unreported the damage is done

[@Ann-eb8dp]

Too true

[@kseniaverlaine]

These are the conclusions I came up to a while ago. Ever since 2022 I have been celibate and it changed me a lot in a positive way, despite being a woman with a really high libido. Even though I didn’t have issues with my self esteem, my sense of self worth has grown dramatically as well as my sense of integrity and equilibrium

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

Exact same situation, been celibate for 3 years, has helped me immensely!! And I also have a huge drive, but denying myself now and not actively seeking relationship partner/lover has helped me so much

[@cavaleirosemlicenca3894]

Well, your sense of worth may not be matched by others, especially if you have had many partners before.

[@SWOTHDRA]

Women always say that after they have been ran through by hundreds of men, it dont really count aftwr the fact. Thats like a serial killer on deathrow now saying he has changed his life.....🤡.

[@IntentlyPurposeful]

@kseniaverlaine ...same 🎉✨️🤎

[@IntentlyPurposeful]

Celibacy allows the brain to operate as it should...🤷🏾‍♀️ no transference of ugly energy

[@kristinchristopherson4878]

It's not just that women don't want to be uncool! They don’t want to be called nasty names or be mistreated with emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. Young women are sensitive to how others perceive them and don’t want to be rejected or ostracized. They try to avoid conflict and rejection. Women don't want things to become adversarial or hostile. As soon as a woman says no, the tone and character of the interaction shift, admiration, and interest evaporate, and men lose the motivation to be thoughtful, respectful, kind, or polite. This is my world experience. Am I wrong??

[@yusufraage8554]

Women only spread their legs for the man they want and when they find out that man sees them as a piece of meat. That is when they get confused.

[@walidr8773]

this might be late comment but: if a man behaves this way he only wants you for sex. isnt it better to find this out sooner rather than later? why should you need to sleep with someone in exchange for being treated kindly, politely, respectfully??

[@stefanieokay9895]

@@walidr8773I think that is a reasonable answer for someone who has more life experience. I think if that’s a common experience for a young woman, she may justify this behavior especially if she’s seeking some form of validation (if that makes sense) . A young women seeks approvel and may therefore compromises on her own needs.

[@mykewilliamsdorsey2727]

I have read her book and I liked it. Having said that, this is a very complex topic that most of us desire a simple answer for and that will never be the case. People are complicated. I was a virgin when I got married at 22. I was happily married for 28 years until my wife unexpectedly left me after our youngest child graduated from college. She simply stated that we had grown apart. No infidelity, no abuse accusations, she simply wanted a different life. I was exhausted from trying to give her and the kids the life I thought she wanted. If I had ANY idea that this would happen I would NEVER have made the choices I did to wait to have sex until marriage. Here’s where it gets complicated. Because I lived the life I did, only being with one woman by the age of 50. A much younger woman I work with (who knew my former spouse and my kids) asked me out immediately after my wife left. We’ve been married now for seven years. She said it was my old school morals and sex mores that compelled her to make the first step to ask me out. She said guys like me are not in the dating pool anymore. Like I said, sex norms are complicated.

[@Oliver-Closeoff]

Lol, you married again. Good luck with that. If 28 years didn't make her stay, and the richest most famous men can't make em stay... what chance do you really have?

[@illusionofquality979]

@@Oliver-Closeoff Each women is different. The fact the lady made the first move and knew things ahead says a lot about her character. Some might be skittish to even ask the guy even knowing half of it. Even if one person gives you a bad experience, it doesn't mean that others will.

[@ConstantinZagorsky]

Funny thing is it doesn't matter what I write here no one will ever read this and apply to anything in their life which makes this whole comment a waste of my time. All people will hear is whatever those two in this video are talking about, that is a problem in itself. Every sentence they say should be taken with a pinch of salt. Here is what I think. Trying to generalize everything is a problem. People still think that they can ban something from happening when making it even worse because the resource becomes scarce and considered more valuable which increases consumption of that resource. Opening everything is a good thing as I believe an educated person knows what is best for him after 16 years old and all your attempts to stop the kid from doing what he learned during those 16 years is meaningless as nothing in the World will stop him from getting what he or she wants. For example, If you learn from early days as a kid that it is good to eat humans and be cannibal, they won't know anything else apart from that and consider everything else not a norm, so parenting and education is the key here. How can you hide a child from sex till 18? For 18 years you need to dodge porn, other sex attractions and finally somehow find your soulmate and have first sex in 18 years or a bit later when you actually involve the government in the equation by getting married? In an idealistic World that might work, but in reality children start practicing sex as early as they can and approach it as a skill rather than some problem we need to fix as a society. If you stop children from experience of sex, it will increase pornography consumption significantly by those children. Also sex is a driver for children to become good looking as they have an aim to make their bodies look good so the other person likes it which increases the chance of mating. If you take that part away from them early in life, you will have a child in his 40s still virgin and that is a problem. Also it suggests that parents are hiding their own sexual life from the child by making it silent or hidden which decreases the quality of that.

[@ConstantinZagorsky]

@mykewilliamsdorsey2727 you did a good thing for yourself by switching a partner early after divorce and this is healthy. An alternative would always be loving and serving a person who doesn't care that you exist. Though to wrap your head around your partner and suggest early that she should date/merry/live with different kind of a person would be a cool thing to do but unrealistic as you love that person at that time and don't want to let her go...

[@geralddelgiorno4691]

Take GOD out of the equasion, and there goes the trade and result of greed, self centered love, lust, and sexual fornication, leaving many confused, without a clue to how people really lived in a traditional way of family life, which was lived more abundantly before the mid 1960's, where now there is no recourse with much more confusion and misery between Men and Women in the World living in alternative lifestyles...

[@androbee2772]

As a Bi woman this is actually a very important thing for me. I won't date men casually or have sex with them unless I know for sure that if I got pregnant, whether our relationship works out or not, he'd take care of the kid emotionally and finacially with me and generally just be a good dad. With women I'm fine with casual flings and dating because I know there isn't that huge risk of my life being changed by what a man would see as a casual hookup. As a result, despite there being plenty more men I could date in comparisson to women, I find myself dating more women than I do men despite me not really having a strong preferance for either.

[@joas3324.]

Stop lying

[@yusufraage8554]

You just havent found the right man and when you do I believe all your rules for the suckers so far will go out off the Windu.

[@marika7782]

Risk of getting pregnant shouldn’t be the only thing holding you back.. jeez

[@Heidi_137]

Same here! With men, and that is very rare as I don't date, I am usually in LTR, sex has to be with someone I'd consider having a baby with and know they will be a good dad. Also, with women it's a very different type of sex and connection.

[@jhezzy]

I'm so happy to hear this conversation. It's the kind of information that ppl of a certain age know instinctively. It's good to hear the data behind it.

[@TheIndieMusicSource]

Ex-female fire fighter here, I completely agree with what Louise has said about not lowering standards to try to get more women into the field. I believe women have a place in these professions, but at no point should the standard ever be lower for them. Everyone should be held to the same standard, plain and simple. Especially when it comes to the safety of others. Politics has not place when it comes to someone's life.

[@shanamoens822]

As a 33 year old virgin, this makes me feel a bit better.

[@oneilmarston698]

27 virgin too male self control gym and health insurance

[@RegularDegularBlackGirl]

Honestly, you're not missing a thing

[@mandrmusic1467]

Let’s be honest, you’re not missing out on much. And adult toys are fantastic 🎉

[@Yggdrasill8]

Not a virgin, I do have some toys and they actually feel better than the real thing objectively on a pure sensation comparison, but it doesn't replace a living human with her weight on you, her smells, breathe, sweat, her slender gentle hands, voice, warmth, heartbeat etc etc. To replace all that with a toy, you would need a sci-fi level android that simulates all the gross stuff like saliva, sweating, and smells. Then again I know some people who would rather watch porn to get off than a willing girl in the next room 😂

[@melissah3069]

Here here 🥂

[@l.l.r.1743]

Thank you for providing this perspective. The media keeps promoting sex as meaningless fun that should be spread around without any thought among strangers . There is very little regard for the consequences: emotionally, psychologically, and health wise. Unwanted pregnancy and STDs are treated as minor or non existent issues. Socially, many men feel entitled to sex within the first few dates, otherwise they stop calling. There are many other problems created by sexual irresponsibility.

[@justusschwabedal5924]

...the media...

[@l.l.r.1743]

@@justusschwabedal5924Do you have a learning disability?

[@l.l.r.1743]

@@justusschwabedal5924Do you not understand???

[@justusschwabedal5924]

I'm just trying to point out something I think is inadequate. Are you thinking about "Sex and the city"? You might be right. If you think about the Wallstreet Journal or CNN I'm a bit more doubtful. If you consider "Diary of a CEO", well here we go :) So there's no need to get angry at the whole industry. Is that fair for you?

[@camelio10]

​@@justusschwabedal5924haha you're bored. Desperate to have an argument

[@djanitatiana]

I'm a male film and TV editor, frequently cutting narrative, documentary, factual or magazine content which pretty well always requires me to constantly evaluate human behaviour for it's presenting explicit meaning and implicit or subtextual or even subconscious elements. I've done it for over 30 years in a fairly healthy career so it's fair to say I'm pretty competent at evaluating human character at different levels. Yet I find it fascinating that my wife, specifically her intuition, is still better at picking up very subtle cues of character, than me. She has a facility, which once most would have accepted as 'female intuition' which seems psychic - just an ability to guess whether a person has a dark streak, or lonely, or a bit needy, or mean with their money or any number of other traits when they've not said much more than hello. I've met many other people who have made this observation.

[@xxxxxxxx8903]

Do agree. I have this and my mother does as well. Not all women have it (or trust their instincts), but I'd still say it is a female trait. Men just aren't as attuned to subtle emotional stuff, which is what I believe we women are picking up. Like if someone has sketchy intentions, that does comes with a particular frame of mind/emotional state, which can be sensed. On the other hand, I'd say men are generally better at resisting social contagion and also better at understanding systems. Example, men understand better social reward systems and how they impact behavior. Women are more likely believe people are so inherently good that they would not exploit social benefit systems or act against common good when it benefits them.

[@firstnamelastname7708]

Seeing how many women end up in abusive relationships is one factor that has eliminated my belief in “female intuition”. It’s very believable that women are more attuned to certain small details that men aren’t, but I don’t believe women are inherently better at identifying what those details represent.

[@EmDaMo]

⁠@@firstnamelastname7708Abusive relationships are complex, and many people - especially men - judge it purely from a black and white perspective, because they don’t seem understand how an abuser can possibly be charming, generous or sweet. But that’s _exactly_ how abusers lure women in; by being charming, generous, affectionate and just an outwardly good person. Relationships rarely - if ever - start out abusive. No woman goes into a relationship willingly if she knows she’s going to get beat up or psychologically abused. It’s a gradual escalation and in most cases trauma bonding occurs. Trauma bonding makes it easier for a victim to survive within the relationship, but it can severely undermine the victim’s sense of self, their ability to accurately see danger, and impairs their ability to see alternatives to their situation. During all this, the abuser almost always makes sure to limit or whittle away their victim’s social connections, be it friends or family - even coworkers - because it means potentially losing control over this person they abuse.

[@EmDaMo]

@@firstnamelastname7708 In case you’re unaware, trauma bonding is a strong emotional connection that develops between the victim and a perpetrator in an abusive relationship. This develops because in an abusive relationship, an abuser can be frightening and hurtful, but he/she may then be intermittently kind, e.g. giving presents and affection, or even stopping the abuse for a period of time. In these moments, the victim feels a rush of gratitude and love for their abuser and feels relief that the abuse has ended. The rescuer and the tormentor are the very same person, which means the bond becomes deeper than other healthy relationships as they start to depend on the abuser to survive. Through trauma bonding, the victim can lose their own beliefs and identity and instead takes on the beliefs of their captor in order to survive. She believes that his behaviour is the result of a flaw in herself and turns inwards to try and resolve this and works harder to please him or her. Often, a victims’ sole goal becomes the abuser’s approval. Interactions with others become hollow and superficial as a result. A woman will often become less argumentative in order to survive. And once a trauma bond is established it can become difficult for the victim to break free of the relationship, because they’ve become so dependent on the abuser(socially, financially, emotionally etc).

[@firstnamelastname7708]

@@EmDaMo I think my comment came off to you in a victim-blamey way and that wasn’t my intention. I don’t blame the abused for getting abused. My point was only that abuse of women is so prevalent that I think there can’t possibly be a reliable “female intuition”. It’s not women’s fault they can’t clock an abuser or even notice some red flags, but the very fact that they don’t notice them and can’t perceive the early-stage tactics means that they are not gifted with especially powerful intuition. I’m really happy you responded to my comment, because it apparently gave the wrong impression and I needed to clear it up.

[@ayandasperanza530]

The women in South Korea have said why they aren't having children. They are sick of being disrespected as women, wives, mothers. If you want birth rates to go up Men need to be better partners and society needs to treat women better.

[@MimifromChicago]

Staying married in a bad marriage can traumatize a child. My parents were very unhappy with each other and fought daily for years. It was awful and negatively impacted everyone in the household. I would have been better off if they had divorced. Also, I would not decide whether to have a kid or not because of what this woman, any other person, or society said. That's a personal decision.

[@jasonmacfarlund2703]

​@lenzi1345it is stressful and traumatizing to children.

[@Jayr8367]

Nobody is saying people should stay in bad marriages. They saying we are *creating* more bad marriage because removing consequences of bad behavior. So people aren't behaving in ways that lead to happy lives.

[@lenitaa7938]

@lenzi1345Too often, the big issue is that we may not realize that we chose a bad partner until after the wedding ! It’s too late by then! The Dating couples are, typically, on their best behaviour ! Also, many young people are naive and are inexperienced in having a serious committed relationship! A good dating partner does not necessarily translate into a good marriage partner! Nor is marrying into a conservative, religious, respectable family translate into a good marriage! Many families have secrets and public personas!

[@darlenelopez19]

@@Jayr8367 But I dont think thats true at all. I mean...it is HARD to see a couple from the 1980; 1990 and 2000s with a good, healthy and happy marriage, the happy marriages I see are the ones from these times because people are more aware of what are the responsibilities of having a partner, of course there is exceptions but I dont think we are creating more bad marriages

[@alexisfibonacci]

@@darlenelopez19 we are actually.

[@lol.198]

This interview was a breath of fresh air. It feels like those of us who still believe in traditional ideologies are being shoved into a corner and forced to change our beliefs.

[@weidchar1646]

But the fact is, you aren't. You can still hold your traditional beliefs and try to teach them to your kids. I agree on a lot of what Louis Perry said in this video but if I had the voice one skepticism I had was that a lot of traditional societies who enforced this monogamous rules also literally left no room for a lot of what people might've wanted to practice in their own individual lives (other religions, gay rights, equal access to general societal priviledges). Just as a random person has more rights living in the west than they might have living under an Islamic state, you have more rights under a liberal government than an average person might have under a conservative/theocratic state.

[@wLBlue]

​@@weidchar1646with freedom comes responsibility

[@weidchar1646]

@@wLBlue how does that address anything from my comment?

[@wLBlue]

​@weidchar1646 it's a deeper conversation...ur comparing more " freedom" in the west to Islam. Many privileges and freedoms in the west are at the cost of others being responsible. Check single mother's etc.

[@weidchar1646]

@@wLBlue I'd argue that a lot of these problems can largely be mitigated if people are accorded with the proper education around them. My concern with most of the solutions provided by conservatives is that it seems heavily rooted in a desire to go back to a time where minority groups (lgbt, other religious/non religious groups, and folks who didn't want subscribe to a specific set of norms) were punished or persecuted for their specific lifestyles and seen as less than human. If it is not, then I'd argue it is in large part due to adopting to a certain liberal mindset.

[@SpanishSquish]

In my 20s, i had lots of casual, meaningless sex. At 26, i went to my dr and was tested for everything known to man. When everything came back negative, i turned that part of my brain off. I'm now 46 and have been voluntarily celibate the past 20 years. I am much happier, more self-aware, and comfortable in my own skin. I have zero desire to ever have sex again. I am living my best life - and loving it! Great interview!

[@blondie9422]

I didn’t have loads of casual sex but the early experiences I did have were pretty grim. It’s like I can’t even get horny for men anymore. They just disgust me (in the sexual sense) not that they are all bad people but I just have no desire for them anymore.

[@BadMannerKorea]

It's not a coincidence that in the prime of your life you were wanted, and now that you've clearly gained weight and are older, you no longer have as many options. I'm suspect of anyone coming on the internet who justifies their life, especially while claiming they are "voluntarily celibate".

[@camelio10]

This is why sex is never causal and a reflection of the true reality of promiscuity. Every girl pretends as if they are having the time of their lives

[@Mr.Coffee20255]

Yeah I understand because I did the same thing in my 20's too. Funny because I also took a test and came back clean as a bar of 🧼 soap. I was like thank you Lord, because I wasn't using condoms either. I never had an STD, and ain't looking forward to any either. I currently don't engage in sex either. It's like this, when a person engage in sexual relations with others you also engage with the many demons they are dealing with among other issues.

[@ashleyg1882]

Your honesty is refreshing. I think women were lied to about women being able to have sex like men and learned things the hard way. There is a great article called I regret being a slut. I don’t think it’s right to slut shame people. Much like addictions like drinking sex can be an escape. Celibacy is the way unless you meet someone ready to commit, I agree with waiting 3 months or until engagement.

[@Helping.horses]

The Bible says "Flee from sexual immorality! Every other sin that a man may commit is outside his body, but whoever practices sexual immorality is sinning against his own body" 1 Corinthians 6:18

[@mhorworshipper7456]

The “clue” here is in: “that a MAN may commit”…. Says nothing about women

[@jenniferyoung2329]

Having worked with women who have experienced sexual trauma, I heard several themes these women shared about. One thing was substances have been used, so they could not consent to sex. The women felt the easiest way to get out of the situation and eventually exit , was to get it over with and have sex so they could get out of there.

[@Kholoured]

Yup, that's the primary reaction. We realize we got ourselves in a crap situation and try to navigate our way out. If they want sex and give us a creep vibe, you don't fight. You let it happen and leave afterwards and learn to be more careful next time. It's a really scarey world out there as an18 yr old with no experience in dating and male psyche... what they want, how they can manipulate you into a situation, how to spot lies, ect..

[@user-xd4rs6vr4n]

If substances were used by both parties, does that mean they both could not consent and should both go to jail?

[@alibobali4032]

@@user-xd4rs6vr4n ~ Even if inebriation is equal, there's clearly a problem when one party is pushing for sexual interaction and the other is resisting it. And if the person pushing is a femme person, I have an issue with that, too! In my 5 decades of het dating, I've come to accept that there's a substantial percentage of men -- mostly young men -- who think it's A-OK to PUSH women into sexual interactions. It's like a whole thing celebrated by PUAs and embodied by high visibility men like Donald Trump. The controversy isn't the inebriation, really. The horrible reality is that too many masc persons are just fine, or even prefer, to push themselves on women. They'll use women's inebriation as one more tool in their toolkit for how to gain unconsensual, undesired sex. And THAT should be shocking behavior to anyone. Have some self respect...

[@GillianWard-h5r]

Research on this topic Ive read up to 70% of women will freeze rather than run or fight Makes sense as men are generally faster stronger It would be so great if humans were more interested in non sexual interactions and this was the norm, sex reserved for committed couples

[@yusufraage8554]

@@user-xd4rs6vr4n Ofcourse not because women can take their consent back even after the deed is done.

[@irisschneider4058]

Women: Make sure that you state right from your the get go/ first date that you’re only interested in a monogamous relationship. If you notice a weird reaction or hesitancy from him/ them that was the last date. Make sure YOU don’t negotiate or defend your position. It simply IS your position.

[@casamurphy]

This is best for men as well. That is why men can't understand why, a woman in a sterile couple (usually older couples where one has had a tubal ligation or vasectomy), would refuse to allow the man to stop using condoms. Latex-free sex is very much more enjoyable and deepens trust which for men is the greatest aphrodisiac. A woman that continues to demand condom use is declaring that she and her mate are not trustworthy. That is fake monogamy. People that want monogamy should not accept fake monogamy. It's hypocrisy will eat away at the trust that underpins the enjoyment of monogamy.

[@oreoakalaperoji8314]

lol Let's go with the flow

[@davidmeadows5627]

But what if the woman wants casual sex?

[@casamurphy]

The problem is that women will say that, but not back it up with logically consistent action. A logical consistent action would be to insist on getting tested together, waiting beyond reasonable incubation periods and then to forgo condom use to reinforce trust. Instead, most women simply employ a cynical trust and reliance on condom use. What that tells men is that they are not trusted and that women value the option to cheat more than honesty, intimacy, and shared vulnerability. Of course this does not apply to situations where contraception is the utmost concern. But when hormonal contraception is working well, or either partner has been sterilized, the only excuse for a woman to demand continued condom use is chronic urinary infection syndrome. If the increased pleasure men derived from sex without a condom is dismissed out of hand, then eventually men will seek a different partner. Their logic will be, "She doesn't trust me so why should I trust her? Let me find a more trustworthy woman who can fulfill my deeper yearnings for connection."

[@femmefatale71]

@@casamurphy NO MAN is entitled to "forgoing condom use" it is too risky for women in this day and age sorry. Not every woman wants to put her body through contraceptives and condoms can fail. In an age where reproductive rights are being restricted absolutely not, that is not defacto a woman's burden to bare just so if feels nicer for you. SUCH entitlement.

[@echohaapala5894]

I can totally relate. I will say that having unwanted sex taught me to say no because I never wanted to feel that way again. But also drugs played a big part in not caring how I was treated and now that I'm in recovery I have found my true self and not allowing myself to be abused sexually. My boyfriend and I are hoping to get married I'm 35 have never been married and he's my best friend. ❤

[@yusufraage8554]

You mean the man you had sex with didnt want to commit and you regretted the encounter?

[@maiwan6188]

Awesome, thank you for inviting Louise Perry!!

[@ibogacanhelp]

WOMAN IN POLICING: domestic calls are among the more common and complex complaints handled by police officers. Woman are proven to be better at engaging in effective communication to de-escalate otherwise violent situations compared to male counterparts parts especially in domestic calls where the situations are often more psychologically and emotionally complex in nature… we don’t need every situation dealt with brute force, violence, and quick to pull the trigger. Communication and de-escalation Strategies that women tend to bring in our police force is a positive benefit to society.

[@danfinn3132]

That's true. But perhaps it might be that the man in the man/woman domestic situation know that you'll probably bring an unconscious bias in favour of the woman, so he has to calm down for his own safety. (I'd be curious how this plays out for you in the most violent of domestic situations; lesbian realtionships/marriages?)

[@djaeger-k5m]

this is pure cope as they tend to be the worst in such situations and there's stats to back this up...

[@Hunter-2689]

Most criminals have low empathy or may be sociopaths. Emotional and social skills dont work on them

[@lachancla3723]

She is acknowledging that there is a place for women in law enforcement, just not in the frontlines. In domestic examples, as you have pointed out, if communication is ineffective, now you are dealt in a situation where not only the victim is in higher danger, but also a higher chance the woman police officer might be overpowered, so now you have 2 potential hostages/victims. Also, take into account other areas beside domestic calls in law enforcement/military, especially military where you have more definitive objectives and de-escalation is not an option in some situations. Not even mentioning the heavy machinery and weaponry that women must be able to carry around without slowing the team down. In these situations, I would say that keeping the majority of women in support roles/long distance combat roles (not necessarily just medics/nurses) would be a better option. Maybe as part of the sniping team. Less chance of close combat engagement.

[@Ann-eb8dp]

We had a situation in Australia where a 94 year old grandmother with dementia was tasered by a police officer She fell and died I do think a woman could have handled the situation with less violence

[@angelssoul5596]

I wrote my dissertation on young women and her vulnerability to potentially violent men. So much of what she said in the early part of this talk was basically the same as my findings. Important message here! Thank you for having her on your program.

[@ShaeMarshallRae]

I'm doing a criminology degree and think that would be a very interesting read!

[@Gemzp87]

Perhaps one of the reasons why we've learnt to adopt socially trending 'icks' is because we have lost the ability to trust/ listen to our own. I agree with Louise - practice listening out for your own 'icks' - learn to listen to and trust your own intuition. Social Media has dampened our ability to do this. We are so reliant on the opinion of others.

[@maam-yj8ph]

One of my biggest icks that pretty much eliminates the vast majority of the human population is alcohol.

[@Susan-id5xj]

@maam-yj8ph oral hygiene and criminal records

[@JD-tc7mc]

big 'ick' for me is a girl addicted to social media 😂

[@lillianswan776]

I was abused as a little girl, exposed to pornography at 7 yrs old, and struggled with hyper sexuality and a porn addiction. I never gave into sex as a teen, and I'm waiting till marriage, but I find I feel disconnected from other women my age. Many of my peers thankfully never experienced sexual abuse. They weren't exposed to pornography and dont struggle with hyper sexuality. From what they've told me, it seems even though they want love & intimacy, the sex doesn't seem like a huge worry for them. They aren't as anxious to have it. I often wonder how different life would be for me if none of those negative experiences messed me up. I wish that desire I struggle wasn't there. It honestly feels so extremely burdensome. I feel like I'm destined to be alone because I've been ruined, and no man wants someone with the issues I have. I'm doing a lot of work to heal, but I still feel like I'm broken as a woman on a biological level that can't be fixed, and that hurts.

[@annemarchal4906]

I feel you

[@alyssavirginia3594]

Correction: sleeping around is almost always dangerous for EVERYONE. Not just women.

[@jennaeveliina313]

Right, but there are still more risks for women. The kind of 'dangerous' that men could face bc of it, are very different from the ones women do face.

[@femmefatale71]

You have missed the point. Do MEN get pregnant and have the law restricting their reproductive rights? Are MEN significantly weaker and at risk of being easily overpowered? Are MEN faced with societal shame and losing value just by having sex? NO.

[@maxwellanderson007]

no. men are fine. Because we are built different.

[@maxwellanderson007]

Typical women's response. When there is a discussion about women, it's always women's response - What about men? They do it too. We are built different and we approach problems differently.

[@hasensaurus]

@@maxwellanderson007 No, I agree with her. Connected sex is much better than performance sex. Having performance sex leads to a pattern that changes you neural connections, so that you disconnect from the traits that make connected sex amazing.

[@AndrewDanne]

You continiously bring people to this program that are interesting, focused, inquisitive, and provoking. Near all your presentations provoke in me deep, and many times, challenging thoughts and analysis. I like to be able to argue both sides of a subject as it pushes me to look at counter ideas, dispositions, arguments with multiple intentions and thought processes. I also love think-tanks for this same reason. All of this is what your presentations with your interviewees and support group provide and challenge with in me. Thank you for these excellent and thought provoking perspectives.

[@cindyabel1010]

There are so many compelling points raised in this episode that are worth anybody's time to listen to and reflect on.

[@juanajuana4404]

I worked for ten years in as a security officer in a very large casino in Vegas. I’m female. The security departments in those casinos are often much larger than many communities, with upwards of 20 plus officers per shift. I certainly dealt with every crime you can imagine. Although not police technically, I carried a weapon. We were quite well trained. I agree I was not physically equipped to handle most physical altercations on my own. However, my skill was communication and I was quite valuable in that role. My experience was men, almost always, choose a physical response first. I was good a deescalating a situation. There was not one situation in my time working there that things got worse because I, a female officer, responded and used my voice first, but more than a few times where a situation became worse because a male officer showed up and got unnecessarily physical. This of course was my experience but I feel strongly that women have much to offer in police work.

[@jowiens32]

My husband and I waited till we were married to have sex, and have been married 34 years. I don’t regret not having sex with multiple partners before I was married.

[@XxxX-wx3er]

You missed the point of the video. This video discusses how men force women into sex they’ll know they’ll regret and women having little to no power to stop them.

[@maluribeiro68]

You were lucky you were sexual compatible and that he was a learning committed of guy. Not everyone that marries is actually commutable or emotionally available. Not all Men try to learn their wives’ sexual needs … You’re very lucky!

[@wLBlue]

​@@XxxX-wx3ersay what?!...u missed the point

[@FreeSoul605]

Great but this was also like 35 years ago.. Times have changed.

[@MelOBrien-12]

@@JohnPretty1 Curious - what was triggering about her comment that prompted you to respond with this?

[@MichelleMarieLalonde]

Thankyou for having Louise Perry on! She is so spot on! We need to have these important discussions!

[@hudson2861]

May I ask where you go or with whom you can have discussions like this. Whenever I want to discuss, say, for example, this podcast and its content I'm usually met with a blank stare or straight up told they don't want to talk about anything "negative" . I do not think it is negative to discuss societal issues. I mostly just want to know what they think. But in this day of "social media" the only acceptable form or forum of discussion are these anonymous comments sections. I crave to have open, in-person, civilized conversations like the one where I gleaned a lot of really good information that as women we could incorporate into our lifestyle, communication as well as parenting, instead of the mind numbing bs gossipnthat usually passes for a conversation.

[@PodcastStories123]

Choosing not to engage in sexual activity with anyone signifies discipline, self-control, and sexual empowerment.

[@XxxX-wx3er]

Listen to the video. It’s about men forcing and pressuring women into sex they can’t fend off.

[@alexaraya2018]

or just follow the law.........cause if the women say no......well ....that´s all she wrote isn´t it?

[@AGW99-df3yg]

@@alexaraya2018 unlike if the man says no

[@jenniferotto8894]

something very young people often dont have developed yet

[@AGW99-df3yg]

@@jenniferotto8894 as a result of poor parenting

[@a.n.3033]

In my opinion she is so so right about everything. Thanks for this informative and important interview!

[@KaiteePageLife]

Her input on polygamy, monogamy, divorce and step-parents is very compelling. Thank you for this.

[@lucyvarnava9743]

Brilliant interview! Thank you, Steven, for such a lovely guest. Wish this interview could be broadcasted to secondary schools.

[@Thoist_Mong69]

Shes just a prudish karen. Lots of them around.

[@ilhamazad]

It takes a lot of courage to speak up! Kudos to both of them for this thought provoking conversation.

[@dariaredfern836]

I love what she's saying, what an amazing person. She wasn't degrading anyone. She spoke her truth. Amazing lady❤❤

[@iced.autumn]

She has a very soothing voice

[@mwpierre]

She does not annunciate her words. I struggle to listen to her.

[@StimParavane]

@@mwpierre It's "enunciate" and as a native British English speaker, I find her very easy to understand.

[@Jojospyder]

They both do...straight ASMR... I slept through the whole think will try again...or sleep whatever...😌

[@AnavonRebeur]

A very horrible English. So harsh and difficult to get

[@mwpierre]

@@StimParavane thanks for correcting me on enunciate and annunciate. Yeah, but that dull, monotone way she spoke was painful.

[@AntEloftheHouseofEl]

Can honestly say that i have never had casual sex. It simply has never appealed to me. I prefer to get to know a woman, have a connection with them that can develop, and take the time to learn what gives them real pleasure, mentally, emotionally and physically. I prefer Serotonin to Dopamine. But i know that makes me rare, as a man.

[@DanielRead]

Not really.

[@BinuIJK]

It makes you a f@@l 😂

[@MsChi83]

It's extremely rare. But it's very refreshing to see a man who values a woman beyond just sex.

[@Yvell]

Very rare in military towns with a lot of young single men and lots of divorcees.

[@AOK342]

Sounds like you are more towards the feminine side of masculinity. Nothing wrong with that.

[@roxy505]

I really appreciated her impartiality and objectivity on these topics. She handled very emotive topics with such tact. Really enjoyed this episode. Lots of good points made.