Breaking Dawn, Edward's Penis Is Filled With Venom

Go to BuyRaycon.com/... for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon.
Episode one of three breaking down Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.
Support the show on Patreon: www.patreon.co...
Co-writer/editor: Kate Robinson: / channel
Dominic Noble merchandise: teespring.com/...
Dom on Twitter: / dominic__noble
Original music by: / djilneige

[@picklesthewise]

"Alice uses her clairvoyance to commit stock fraud." Oddly enough, that was the one thing I didn't expect from this entire series: logic.

[@NWolfsson]

Yeah, I was like "Well I wouldn't expect lesssssssssoooooohrightthisisTwilight"

[@hypnotherapy69]

Who would not do this?

[@sadies8100]

A Stephanie Meyers character.

[@PB-vb4ob]

I always just assumed they had like hundreds of years worth of savings...

[@dealphawolf]

@@PB-vb4ob I think that that’s what most likely it was. Carlisle pretty much leaves the estates in his own name after he “passes” and his descendants (all of while continue the name) then take it over as inheritance. Rinse, repeat for hundreds of years and bam. You’re buying a private island. Lol

[@zomomnomnombie]

British Sokka is gonna need a lot of well-written books after dealing with this nonsense

[@lotusthemermaid]

Lmaoooo

[@riley9703]

“British Sokka” holy shit I never noticed but now I can’t unsee it

[@teeny733]

BRITISH SOKKA AHAHAHAHA

[@ganbaluna]

It's even funnier, cause in the non existing movie Sokka is played by Jasper's actor.

[@B_A-tr]

@@riley9703 honestly same

[@sailiealquadacil1284]

That Bella chasing Edward sequence was hilarious. I almost died of laughter.

[@tinniesealjiji]

Noooooooooooooooooo 😆

[@wingedyera]

Me too

[@js66613]

Same.

[@jennifermacphail593]

+

[@aoife08619]

Yes.

[@asf8648]

Far be it from me to defend Edward Cullen, but did anyone get the feeling that Bella was being a creep in her own right? Edward expressing that he's uncomfortable with sex and doesn't want to do it until specific circumstances is his right. He can withdraw consent at any point. I don't remember the details of this book But it sounds like sex really had a negative effect on Edward and Bella was cajoling him to give further consent. I don't think that is okay behavior. If a partner says they no longer want to have sex for whatever reason then that needs to be respected. Even if one partner really enjoys something, if the other party is not okay with it then it should be off the table. Edward is a shitty person but he still should have his boundaries respected.

[@PlanetZoidstar]

Yeah, Bella is by no means innocent in any of this, but it's important to remember: 1: Bella is EXTREMELY selfish and self-centered. 2: Bella is phenominally STUPID and has NO common sense. 3: Vampire pheromones basically DRUGGED her into being in love with Edward. He's abuse, an aphrodisiac, and a roofie all in one. She is literally ADDICTED to him and you cannot expect anyone to be sensible or make smart decisions when they are drugged up. Especially not someone as STUPID as Bella.

[@nahte123456]

True but from the framing it honestly seems less like he's uncomfortable and more like he feels he needs to protect her because she's a stupid kid. Which could go either way for me really, yes both parties should always get a say, but that does mean BOTH get a say.

[@TheRedHaze3]

@@nahte123456 He seemed pretty uncomfortable about having hurt her.

[@nahte123456]

@@TheRedHaze3 I'm only going by the context of this video and what little I remember from my sister watching the movies so i could be wrong.

[@TheRedHaze3]

@@nahte123456 Well, having watched the movies and read the books (granted, that was years ago), I'm fairly certain he was pretty disgusted with himself when he found out her had hurt her during sex. P.S. What do you by mean "both parties should always get a say"? Both parties have the option to veto sex, not "if one person wants sex but the other doesn't, they should still have sex" or whatever you're suggesting. I'm extremely doubtful if the genders were reversed here, that *anyone* would have a problem with the woman refusing to have sex.

[@thatlycantomboy]

“the vague suggestion that Alice uses clairvoyance to commit stock fraud” no no no, we can’t just skip over that,

[@timothymclean]

It's probably something boring like getting visions about what stocks are about to rise in price (which is technically insider trading, because it's making financial decisions based on information not available to the public).

[@abbie_joan]

honestly that's a way better concept for a story than what we actually got...I would read the hell out of that book

[@awkwardlyanxiouslatte7841]

Fun fact: Carlisle Cullen is the second richest fictional character after Scrooge McDuck and has 34.1 billion. Yes. It is insane.

[@artemiswolf4508]

So Carlisle is almost as rich as Scrooge McDuck AND he’s a almost completely invulnerable to harm, which means canonically speaking it is completely possible for Carlisle or Edward to have a giant money pit they occasionally dive and swim in.

[@Pink.andahalf]

Was that in the book? I haven't read them since they came out, and can't tell if you're joking.

[@zombieguy4444]

Artemis Wolf Just Scrooge McDuck’s money vault at minimum would make him the 5th richest person on earth At max it has enough money to put Scrooge’s net worth in the hundreds of trillions Scrooge does claim to run a multi trillion dollar business

[@GermanLeftist]

@@Pink.andahalf I bet it was in the Forbes Fictional 100 List or whatever it is called.

[@awkwardlyanxiouslatte7841]

Pink andahalf I don’t know if it’s in the book but it is canon information, someone did a listing of how rich Bezos was in comparison to the top richest fictional characters

[@kbomb234]

Ok, I lost it completely at the Scooby Doo ska sex chase sequence, a group of words I never thought I'd say in real life

[@fionamasters1822]

It was perfect!

[@patriciahiddings3273]

Such a gem!

[@gianinamorales8597]

A more perfect sequence of words in the English language has never been conceived 😂

[@Xehanort10]

"Like zoinks Bella. Stop chasing me." "Right Redrard."

[@ninawth]

2:30 Dom: "I'm sorry to report that I've decided to take it one step further, so this is the first of three videos I'm doing on breaking dawn." Me, jubilantly: "YEEES!" :D Dom: "I know, I'm annoyed too."

[@TotosTales]

Oh my god if that isn’t the biggest mood

[@revi6482]

Suddenly I felt so sorry for him xD

[@andreagriffiths3512]

Me too! Poor, poor Dom! He deserves all the likes for suffering so much

[@ralphjb]

I was hoping he'd do at least a 2-parter. Dom knows how to please his audience.

[@douglasfreer]

Breaking Dawn is seriously Breaking Dom.

[@genevarockeman9721]

"Evidently, Edward's kink is never telling her anything no matter how much it involves her." - spat out my coffee. Well done you.

[@Codvideoprojects]

Twilight: Edward "I hurt you, I hate myself." Bella: "It's okay, I'm into it." Edward: "No. I am a monster." 50 Shades: Christian: "I want to hurt you." Anastasia: "Don't, I don't like being hurt." Christian: "No. I want to hurt you, and I always get what I want." While both men are jerks for not listening to the women, I found Edward to be slightly less selfish.

[@MsLilly200]

Well Edward had a way higher risk of straight out murdering Bella accidentally. (Especially considering the whole, her smelling like his favorite drug thing.) So he kinda has to be super careful. Christian is mostly risking Anas emotional wellbeing, and since he only cares that her body looks like his mom he doesn't have to bother with being careful.

[@ShiroOokamitoko]

I think the best way to put it is Christian is selfish, while Edward is mostly self-centered.

[@Rosie_ee_ee_ee]

I have to disagree. At least Christian is being honest about what a dick he is while Edward gaslights Bella into apologising to him for him hurting her - just adds another level of fucked up

[@TheRedHaze3]

@@Rosie_ee_ee_ee What Edward did is not gaslighting you idiot. Look up the definition of big words before you use them.

[@LordofFullmetal]

Right?? That's what really pisses me off about Christian Grey. He's Edward but WORSE, and there's no excuse for that. It's like she intentionally made him more of an asshole.

[@kbomb234]

I laughed myself sick at the title but holy shit, I wish that fact was wrong.

[@corsent6791]

After Fifty shades Dom was freed, After The Twilight Saga Dom is broken. Aftercare man, lots of it

[@Rincenso]

He just need a vacation on the west coast of Brazil.

[@chendror872]

Yea poor guy

[@angelinaelchammas2506]

Or.. he could review After

[@corsent6791]

@@angelinaelchammas2506 Do you really want him to go though it? Fair enough, I want him to go through 365 days.

[@akshunnadevansh5531]

And some idiot made saying that we are story Stephanie

[@ArtisticlyAlexis]

Breaking Dawn was Meyer jumping the shark & writing a fanfic. Super Wedding: check. Exotic Honeymoon: check. Kinky sex: check. Abusive relationsip: check. Poorly written stereotypes: check. Pregnancy drama: check. And that's just the first half!

[@ManOutofTime913]

All it needs is excessive description of the characters wearing skintight leather and fishnets or indie band t-shirts. Possibly both at the same time.

[@MirrorscapeDC]

Where do people get fanfic that bad? Wattpad? Is it Wattpad?

[@lanturn4950]

@@MirrorscapeDC Bad fanfic crops up anywhere where fanfic in general does (unless it has some sort of quality control, which is difficult for a large fanfiction site) but in my experience, yes, Wattpad tends to be the worst of the main three I've used in the past (Fanfiction Dot Net, AO3 and Wattpad).

[@asf8648]

Im not sure how any of that is exclusive to fanfic. Those are just tropes in romance in general.

[@Xehanort10]

@@ManOutofTime913 Is that a My Immortal reference?

[@sixnow25]

Before I was finally diagnosed with Perthes disease when I was a kid the doctor she kept bringing me too kept saying the symptoms were in my head. She'd hit me when I walked around her because I would limp. My legs hurt constantly and it took not being able to get out of bed and falling on my face before she got a second opinion and I was diagnosed quickly after that. My mom overheard the doctor she kept sending me to talking with the other one that diagnosed me saying that I couldn't have the disease because I was black and female. So he knew about the disease and the symptoms but his prejudice kept him from diagnosing me. The prejudice continued when it came to medications as well. They didn't want to give me anything stronger for pain other than ibuprofen because of the belief that black people get addicted to pain killers more than white people. So I barely slept because of the pain and couldn't concentrate at school. I gained a lot of weight that I can't get off and the damage is so bad to my joints that I'm in a wheelchair now and I have no idea how to get in the health I need to be in to get the surgery done on both of my hips. And now my spine is arthritic and neuropathy from diabetes is causing a lot of pain to my sciatic nerve. So yeah, doctors can misdiagnose based on their own prejudice and not see what's right in front of them.

[@angelajohnsonkeys4199]

I'm so sorry this happened to you...

[@margaretschaufele6502]

Holy shit! I hope that doctor got sued and/or lost their license!

[@OnkelFenrir]

I'm sorry to hear that. You didn't deserve any of this :/

[@shadetheskeleton1634]

I didn’t even know those were prejudices that existed, I’m so sorry

[@SingingSealRiana]

@@shadetheskeleton1634 women have a way harder time getting pain meds for them mentioning pain is read as just whiny while it gets taken seriously, if the request comes from a man. Black women are even worse of especialy in childbirth the deathrate is staggeringlly higher it is a night mare. Also, once they clocked you with mental health issues they stop searching for things that are physicly wrong. I have a genetic defect since birth that got discovered when I was 25 for my symptoms where inconclusiv and could all be attributed to kid making a big deal out of nothing and later mental problems . . . for example it was knowen since I was eight, that I had a very low bloodlpressure that would make me faint, but no one ever felt like looking into why my bloodpressure was that low to begin with and I was taught I just have t live with it. Ironiously my mentel health issues stem form something that was physicly wrong instead of my physical sympthoms being caused by bad mental health . . . . . Prejudiced in medicine are increadably commen and often very harmful till deadly

[@amityislandchum]

I wish you would've mentioned how much Stephenie Meyer wrote herself into a corner in previous books by choosing to make the books first-person POV. There are SO MANY instances in New Moon and Eclipse where she has Bella "falling asleep, just barely overhearing entire conversations between other characters that she definitely won't remember the next morning" -- because what Meyer actually wants is to write a scene that doesn't include Bella. It was hilarious to me that she finally gave up and just switched the entire POV to be first-person from Jacob for part of this book. 😂 How fucking lazy. Even worse was the way that she tried to write his voice as distinct from Bella's... which she "accomplished" by making him extremely sexist and a general asshole. The character assassination of Jacob really comes to a head in this book, as he berates every woman around him (who isn't Bella) nonstop.

[@strawberrysoulforever8336]

I still want New Moon from Jacob's perspective. I feel like it might be interesting to see what he was thinking and doing. His head is apparently an easy place to be in, according to Edward, and watching the change in mood and temperament would be interesting, as Jacob's body started preparing for it from back in Twilight (if you read Midnight Sun, he thinks Bella's wearing artificial perfume at prom, but I think he's just getting vampire scent).

[@tristanhartup4936]

Is she incapable of third-person story writing?

[@DreamersOfReality]

She was a coward. I'm writing a largely first-person book, but there are sub-plots happening in the third-person with other characters. Because eventually it gets revealed that the story is actually the autobiography of the protagonist, who detailed his life and place in the web of happenings in a time of political upheaval.

[@StonedHunter]

It's kind of interesting that "child vampires" seems to be a pretty universal no-no in almost any vampire story you find...

[@jaycievictory8461]

The idea of vampires biting/feeding on children is horrifying enough, but then you have to consider, with Meyer's vampires, the toddler then went through the horrific, prolonged searing pain humans go through on transformation. She never addresses, or has the Cullens or Bella, show any empathy or remorse for when others suffer hugely. If it was intentional, if the protagonists are intended to be antivillains or something, I could forgive it. Instead Edward and Bella are set up as moral arbiters. And it really grates.

[@shayla106]

Polly C. Yeah, but that’s the point, it’s the reason she killed lestat, her mind had matured but she was forever stuck as a child. It’s really tragic. However, Meyers vampires seem to be stuck mentally at the age they were changed which makes it weird, that nobody felt bad for the children being put through the changed and then killed.

[@StonedHunter]

​@@shayla106 Agreed. Also children, even vampires, need constant care and supervision. Therefore, it would logically be frowned upon to create such a thing. I just found it interesting how each story that includes that has different reasoning that they state.

[@JawlessEmu-yo2qc]

In Skyrim their was a child vampire.

[@edfarkas3127]

Watch/read The Strain. No holding back there

[@sinner9192]

*edward, honey, you may want to get that checked out*

[@atiredfloridian777]

Edward, call your doctor!

[@meganstorm3248]

@@atiredfloridian777 Doctor Daddy, the Eternal Prude, and undead venereal disease...

[@atiredfloridian777]

@@meganstorm3248 Such a lovely family.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@atiredfloridian777 Edward, talk to your Daddy.

[@Karnork]

Okay I Know Dominic doesn't do clickbait titles, which just makes me even more worried about this video's title.

[@chendror872]

Yea it's horrifying

[@_gremlinboy]

I'm sorry

[@vaspeter2600]

On the other hand, I never knew I wanted him to say, with the most somber of expressions, the sentence "Venom penis." on camera. It cracked me up something major.

[@phantomkitten73]

That's why I love Fact Fiend; one of their videos is "Nikola Tesla Once Set Fire to a Bunch of Butterflies" and it's not even clickbait.

[@jdizzy192]

@@phantomkitten73 Turd throwing hero gorilla and elephant that only respects one man are my favorites

[@kaspiansea3997]

Her problem is that she is unable to disappoint any of her characters. She wants everyone to be happy, even in a love triangle. She wants all three people be happy and satisfied.

[@TabbyeLynne]

And she is not brave enough to make them a polyamorous trouple

[@melissamenchaca9121]

You know that explanation makes a whole lot of sense.

[@rebellyanmagic6409]

She coddles the characters she loves too damn much. Like jeez, let them suffer a little bit and grow as a result! I'm not saying you should GRRM them, but don't just hand them their happily ever after without them working for it.

[@Xehanort10]

@@rebellyanmagic6409 She doesn't have the guts to kill any characters but the main antagonists off either. Meyer seems to live in a fantasy world in her own head where everything's perfect and lovely.

[@TheRedHaze3]

@@TabbyeLynne I think that has more to do with her beliefs about marriage...

[@mathiebaudry4820]

As a person with chronic pain and their fair share of disabilities, Carlisle going down the "I haven't heard of it therefore it doesn't exist" road has sadly been most of my doctor's experiences... It sucks, but that's kind of how it goes... No offense to Dom, but that's a really common experience for women, trans people, pocs, lgbt people. Very few doctors, in my personal experience (if you have a better experience, all the power to you dude!), are like doctors from medical serials where nothing will stand between them the figuring out what's wrong with the patient. Sorry to bring the mood down guys

[@gregorythestallion2984]

In my experience... looing at the experience of my sister and mother, doctors are shit when they are public... Though statistic support that they always go the other way arround. Even if some women complain, they are no way near the common thing.

[@rowanlavellan9755]

☝️ I'm trans, have chronic pain, and have multiple disabilities, and I have friends and teammates who are in similar boats. Our doctors almost universally ignore us, moreso if we're people of colour and/or trans.

[@annabellemoore4214]

I’m sorry that’s happen to you. Hopefully things get better.

[@literaterose6731]

I’m late to this video (& conversation), but *oof* does this hit home! Have had years of similar experience-I’m afab, disabled with multiple chronic conditions, trans & neurodiverse (and poor…doctors tend not to be great towards poor folks). It can be such a battle that there have been times I just couldn’t fight anymore. It really sucks. My older daughter has experienced this recently in very extreme ways-almost died twice because of severe worsening of a chronic condition and then a complication with meds when she finally got them, and didn’t get care where anyone really believed her until she almost died. Now she’s fighting a similar battle over the long Covid she’s developed. I definitely appreciate modern medicine-but doctor training leaves a lot to be desired.

[@kaitlyn__L]

I was going to say much the same thing, but you said it two years ago! Especially because many doctors are now rejecting the “plausible pathway” method of medicine, after numerous drugs trials based on those ideas turned out to be failures, in favour of pure faith in double blind trials even when there’s no real idea on how certain drugs actually work. Only that they somehow do.

[@maileena3595]

Most hilarious part in the book was when the day after Bella realized sex with Edward was SOOO great, she was willing to hold off becoming a vampire for a few years and even wanted to try out college. Most character development we got from her at that point LOL

[@Alias_Anybody]

Hey, at least a sex-positive female character, lol.

[@Megan-rr6qg]

That is 💯 true lol

[@monicamorales5487]

oh god, the most character development we got was due to a sideffect of crotch venom. Really Stephany, I couldnt fathom how vampiric venom could cure unmotivation. How is this not a profession or antidepressive treatment in this universe?! kill me this is so crack agh.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Enjoying Harm during Sex? Sick. The whole BDSM-Community in its Entirety? Sick and pitiful.

[@driathunderwolf677]

@@slevinchannel7589 lol no one asked you. Mind your own business.

[@courtneymcgreevy9538]

“As soon as they so much as touch hands, the story doesn’t just pan over to the window. It jumps right out of it and flies off into space.” This...sent me.

[@shinyagumon7015]

Let me guess, to Space?

[@courtneymcgreevy9538]

Shiny Agumon Obviously.

[@lolloblue9646]

@@shinyagumon7015 SSSSSSSPAAAAAAAAAAACE *happy Space Core noises*

[@jku9936]

Well it's either going to space or reading the Fanfic 'The Wedding Crashers'. [Spoilers but not really, it's from Leah's POV and its really cathartic in context of the saga's portrayal of the vampires.]

[@castiandisciple8363]

@@jku9936 Oh, man, you read Mervin's work too? Not just TWC, but also her "sporkings" of the Twilight series? She's the only one I know of who went really deep into how awful Twilight is. TWC is awesome. Starring Leah AND being a Supernatural crossover? Hell yes.

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

_"EDWARD'S PINGAS IS FULL OF VENOM..."_ *Cornhub Community:* WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

[@konstantinemarkelia759]

Dont insult us that badly

[@QJ89]

There's a moment in the 'Dracula' novel where he cuts open his chest and another vampire drinks the blood from it. It was then carried out in Hammer's 'Dracula: Prince Of Darkness.' Implying that that's Drac's own blood (how?), it's almost as ridiculous as saying Meyer's vampires have "venom" in lieu of blood. Note how I said Almost.

[@rebellyanmagic6409]

When Meyer wrote Forever/Breaking Dawn, she specifically said it was for an 'audience of one' that would never see the light of the day. Looking at it with that lens makes it clear that this book was nothing but her wish fulfillment Mary Sue fantasy. Everything that Bella gets in this book - the pointless car and black credit card, the island, the big obnoxious wedding - is all stuff that Meyer herself wants. But since Bella is a Mary Sue, she can't write her as actively wanting these things because it would clash with her faux-selflessness. So Alice is the obnoxious Bridezilla doing all the wedding planning, while Bella does nothing but get oogled over for being the most beautiful bride ever. And of course, this also explains why The Death Baby is a thing. Meyer created this fantasy world and spent time establishing these species of venom vampires, and she deliberately spayed its female members so that when Bella becomes a vampire, she's that much more special because she gets immortality AND a living child (It's also another dig on poor Rosalie). Speaking of Breaking Dawn, I wonder: are you going to cover the fallout that happened from this book? Because while the book was poorly received by a lot of fans, it was Meyer and her brother's actions that really got the hate-train for this series rolling.

[@tomhur1]

"it was Meyer and her brother's actions that really got the hate-train for this series rolling." What are you talking about?

[@strawberrysoulforever8336]

Yet the whole reason why Bella keeps the baby is because her first action when hearing they were going to abort was to call Rosalie for help. She figures being an aunt to her sister-in-law's baby is better than having no maternal experiences at all.

[@NellCurley]

For context, I'm assuming this refers to the email that a group of fans sent SMeyer about changes they would have liked to see in BD, including a more graphic wedding night sex scene (really, ANYTHING would have been more graphic) and a more believable explanation for the conception of Death Baby. SMeyer's brother screened her email account and responded in the most patriarchal "How dare you!" tone and scolded them for daring to ask SMeyer to include "topics that young girls shouldn't be thinking about." He was a dick about it and they shared his response online.

[@kaitlyn__L]

@@NellCurley lmao, “why are all you horny teens thinking about SEX so much? Go play outside!” I wonder if he even knows how teens conjure up _the most messed up_ dubcon/noncon murder gore scenarios possible in their fanfics. Teen writing is basically always amped up way beyond what their adult self would write later. Which like, to be clear, makes total sense. People who are just thinking about various topics for the very first time will naturally explore its boundaries first by its extremities and then circling-in into the middle, it’s a way to explore their thoughts and feelings in a safe way. But still, that’s exactly why I find his response super hilarious.

[@Cruizinelli12]

@@NellCurleyyeah, her brother seems like a dick tbh

[@unnamedenemy9]

You know, that whole "venom penis" thing just reminds me of the importance of having *any* idea how you want to tackle a supernatural subject. Either put in the work to make it make *actual* sense, or do the World of Darkness thing -- vampires simply *do not* make logical sense and defy physical laws. They don't make sense and that's the whole point -- they're unnatural monsters.

[@NWolfsson]

Yes, thank you! the World of Darkness is a great example of how to use a supernatural element if you want to keep it occult. I mean the only "scientific" stuff there ever were as long as I know is when there was, as a roleplay flare idea, the rumour going around that Vicissitude is doable thanks to alien viruses from another dimension. And it is so far-fetched that you know that, in a world where other vampire can control shadows, cast spells, foresee the future and talk to ghosts, it's far more logical to think it's stupid and it must be just their occult powers. And I mean, one of the Cullen can foresee the future, was that too hard to admit there was enough supernatural to call your meal a supernatural pie?

[@Xehanort10]

I don't think any attempt at a vampire children storyline in a series about vampires has ever worked. Turning other people into vampires is the closest they should get to reproduction. Vampire men have no blood, therefore no sperm and no erections. And for vampire women their ovaries and eggs are dead meaning no fertilisation and no pregnancy.

[@CapnJigglypuff]

"I'm splitting this review into three videos. I know, I'm annoyed too." Me, hanging streamers and blowing balloons: "Yes. I am very annoyed by this."

[@TheHorrorDevotee]

underrated comment

[@ineednochannelyoutube2651]

For I brief moment, I thought you meant you were hanging twitch streamers and blowing balloons an was very confused.

[@PunkExMachina]

I gotta say the Twilight fandom is pretty great from what I’ve seen. They’re like an anti-fandom. They enjoy Twilight out of nostalgia and they mostly make memes about how much they hate S.Meyer’s writing and decisions throughout the story, they break down the story point by point to show the more nonsensical and troublesome/horrible details and pretty much reimagine it as a better or at least funnier story. I’ve been in the Twilight Renaissance tag in the last couple of weeks and it has been a hilarious journey.

[@chendror872]

I've also seen people who genuinely enjoy the writings (I don't judge )

[@theultimateusukfan]

me too! a friend and i have joined the twilight renaissance part of the fandom and we discuss how much twilight sucks while still liking selective parts of it. it's honestly great when a fandom can still like something but at the same time tear it to shreds for the fun of it and all get along haha

[@Xehanort10]

You must be looking in the right places then because the only Twilight fans I keep seeing are total lunatics who want to slit your throat for not thinking it's the greatest thing ever.

[@Badenhawk]

Honestly I'm a pretty normal dude, twilight is just my guilty pleasure and I'm not ashamed to talk about it with people, either ironically or not.

[@komal146]

I think it's because most of them got hooked to books and experienced better literature later on.

[@lotusthemermaid]

Stephenie Meyer brings new meaning to the term "toxic relationship."

[@DaMaster012]

**[Hexus intensifies]**

[@catspaw3092]

And she's married to her own Jacob she obviously has no clue as to how a relationship works.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Enjoying Harm during Sex? Sick. The whole BDSM-Community in its Entirety? Sick and pitiful.

[@strahinjagov]

EL James: "Allow me to introduce myself"

[@SS-xr7jf]

Meyer should have taken a page from Rumiko Takahashi's book, instead of trying to come up with fantasy biology nonsense. When asked about what would happen if Ranma ever became pregnant while in girl form, she responded "I dont think about that and neither should you".

[@Cheshirestog]

Perfect response

[@timothymclean]

We _shouldn't_ think about it, but now that you've mentioned it I don't have a choice. So: The fetus would be considered part of Ramna's girl body, and would vanish along with his boobs whenever his body reverted to its dude form. If he spends about half of his time in his girl body, the pregnancy would take about 18 months-though he'd probably either avoid being a girl or just get it over with by the third trimester, so that estimate is probably wrong. Hopefully this helps the rest of you stop thinking about it.

[@SS-xr7jf]

@@timothymclean alternatively ranma would switch back and the pregnancy would continue but with the fetus attached dangerously to the wall of a organ other than the uterus. Or fantasy magic locks him in the female one for the duration.

[@timothymclean]

@@SS-xr7jf I think my answer is the least horrifying.

[@SS-xr7jf]

@@timothymclean and that’s why we shouldn’t think about it lol

[@rcchadburn]

Quick note for you at 12min: yes. Doctors do this all the damned time. I cannot tell you how many times my experiences were dismissed, diminished, and glossed over as hypochondria, blowing things out of proportion, and being a wimp throughout my lifetime... even *before* my body started actively trying to kill me with a still undiagnosed autoimmune issue. This is a very, very,very common experience.

[@kaitlyn__L]

Same! I had to go “oh Dom, Dom, Dom” there. Autoimmune and autonomic issues here, and my body plain doesn’t know how to make collagen right. Was told I was just a lazy hypochondriac who needed to Toughen Up, until I was 18 or 19 and the part about the collagen was finally discovered. (Then the rest followed.)

[@Hellraiser2107]

"Medicine doesn't work on a 'Well I've never heard of it happening so I assumed it must be impossible' train of reasoning" I hate to admit it, but sometimes it does. Sometimes it's not even "I assumed it's impossible" but "It is a rare condition so I won't bother even testing for it even after every other test came back negative and instead try to convince you that you are either imagining all of your symptoms or assume you're faking them for attention"

[@hayleybartek8643]

Working in the medical field is a rabbit hole of judging other people’s decisions and not utilizing resources. There’s new information all the time and lots of doctors (and other experts) are set in their ways based on what they’ve been doing for years or had learned in school. PSA: Take an interest in your own health because nobody will care about it more than you.

[@tylerd8289]

Yep. Literally had doctors tell me side effects I was reporting from medications "weren't possible" because they weren't on the label...

[@IzzyAndAndy]

Yep. Almost died because 4 doctors didn’t believe me even after I was hospitalized. Doctors don’t know a damn thing.

[@britanniadix5580]

Yeah, that was one bit of this review I put my "Weeeell, actually..." glasses on for. Medical professionals can stick to "their" set of facts like glue even as the science gets updated. See things like judging women's and POC's pain (especially black women), where the standard is *incredibly* outdated (and -ist as fuck). To give the characters a wee bit of benefit of the doubt, the circumstances of the conception are so wackadoo - Edward still having sperm leftover from when he was a human that was warmed by the ocean because nocturnal emissions just don't happen? to vampires? ever? - that warning against conception probably didn't even come up. But ya gotta wonder why there wasn't any protection if all Edward's fluids are "venom based" 'cause - it sounds like vampirism could be an STD there. Y'know. Just a wee bit.

[@Hellraiser2107]

@@britanniadix5580 That's one of the big problems of Meyer's writing, tbh. She tends to contradict herself on how vampires exactly work in her world quite frequently. Not just with Eddy-boy's venom dick but also as mentioned in the Dom's first Twilight video, in how humans typically perceive the vampires (incredibly beautiful and alluring because that makes hunting easier for the vamps, but humans are also kind of repulsed by them because they feel that the vamps are "different" on some level. Which one is it, Meyer?) And appearantly vampires are supposed to be hard like marble, except there's venom being used as lubricant to keep their skin soft and elastic anyway, but if two vampires kiss it appearantly makes a sound akin to rubbing two pebbles together? (the way it was described in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner). Again, what is it now?

[@madamefluffy4788]

Weirdly enough, the 'Edward demands Bella get an abortion' moment was one of the moments that I found people were very one sided on (i.e. - taking Bella's side over wanting to keep the baby; because what right did Edward have to say what she could do with her own body?) and not once thinking about Edward's side of things (i.e. - not planning on ever being a father, as he believed such a thing was impossible; and not wanting to lose his wife to an unplanned pregnancy that would literally tear her apart if she carried to term). Sorry, but I'm willing to side with the partner who doesn't want to see their partner die horrifically if the situation can be avoided entirely. But, any sympathy I had for Edward in that moment was lost entirely when he talked Jacob into trying to convince Bella to terminate the pregnancy; with the agreement that they could share Bella if he succeeded. (now THAT is a prime example of a controlling, inconsiderate asshole moment if there ever was one! WTF EDWARD?!)

[@meganstorm3248]

The reasoning isn't the issue, though. The indifference to her non-consent is.

[@Astrocam88]

I could understand Edward's worry. They had no idea what their child would really turn out like. Edward was terrified of losing Bella. Usually, if a pregnancy is a risk to the mother's life, there are options, even if some may not agree with those options. The moment he suggested sharing her with Jacob though...ick. Even though it was disgusting, and I no longer had sympathy for him after that, I could kinda understand his desperation. But I think Bella had planned to keep the baby even after learning that it could kill her, not only because she claimed to love it instantly, and wanted a little version of Edward running around (when she thought the baby was a boy), but because she knew it was her way to becoming vamped - if she died, they would have no choice but to turn her. So that's why she wasn't too worried about actually dying. Also, her choice to name the baby (if it was a boy) EJ (short for Edward Jacob) was pretty revolting. She needed to fire up her computer and Google a list of names, because no. Just, no. Edward Jacob is worse than Renesmee in my opinion.

[@hekate5561]

To be fair, I really doubt he would have forced her. He told Jacob to talk to her, which is understandable in his situation. It's not like he told Jacob to kidnap her and bring her to an abortion clinic or something. And the offer to "share" was in a belief that Bella wanted it, I don't think he would have forced her.He saw how it upset her to have to choose, so in his mind he was giving Bella and Jacob what they wanted despite his own feelings. In his mind it would have been some highly unhealthy polyamory.

[@madamefluffy4788]

@@meganstorm3248 And he was non consenting to 1) being a dad and 2) seeing her die horrifically for the sake of an unplanned pregnancy. Both sides opinion should matter; not just one.

[@madamefluffy4788]

@@hekate5561 The fact he went behind Bella's back and made this deal with Jacob is the real issue; because as much as it's not his right to tell Bella what to do with her body (in regards to the pregnancy), it's just as much not his right to assume that Bella would be okay with being shared between two men (the act itself is literally treating her like his property).

[@elizabethwilliams9687]

This book was the first book that made me feel like I had been cheated. The other books were easy fun for my preteen self. This one made me realize I would never get the time back that I spent reading it.

[@NankitaBR]

That was the first book I had to stop and take a time out out of rage in my life. I will never forget how much I hated this book and finished out of spite, and how much I hated myself for choosing this book to be one of the 4 I took with me for my exchange year in Japan. I just kept thinking "Why did you do that? Why did you decide to save this book to read for the first time in Japan? If only you had read this abomination before you could have brought another book, any other book! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

[@normalgamergal]

@@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 Despite claims to the contrary, everyone has loved crappy stories in their past for no discernible reason. As long as you didn't take away bad life lessons, you shouldn't beat yourself up too much about it 😁

[@ashleywalker3813]

@@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 I don't think it's that hard to say the story is shit, but it's still interesting to read. Like day time soaps, the badness makes it interesting.

[@ShiroOokamitoko]

I'm afraid I was not so aware at the time I first read the Twilight series. I read them in high school, and actually pre-ordered Breaking Dawn. I loved them while I was reading them. It wasn't until my best friend read them that I realized how bad they were. She started laughing a few pages in, and I asked why, so she read a bit out loud. Apparently, I'd been reading so much bad fanfiction that I'd gotten in the habit of mentally editing things as I read. I just kinda skimmed right over anything that didn't sit right.

[@airshow406]

For me that book was Naked Empire in the Sword of Truth series. It retroactively made me start noticing how preachy and propagantastic the previous books all were too when I re-read them.

[@CM-hp7io]

When I read the book and the cleaners came to the island, I remember thinking- Edward has superspeed- why can't the lazy git clean up after himself. Also chess and sex must be the two most boring things to do on an island with rainforest.

[@Xehanort10]

And wouldn't people do something sexier for foreplay than chess? "Oh yes Bella I'm really going to move my knight into your queen."

[@breezy3392]

I will admit that Twilight is one of the books that convinced me to be a writer...because there is no way I could write something worse than this

[@JamesTullos]

Breaking Dawn: When Jacob evolves from Such A Nice Guy to incel.

[@samiraansari5686]

Is it really „evolving“ when the book at this point basically established that he‘s always been this way and was only nice to Bella cause he thought he‘d get in her pants eventually? Seems more like a reveal of his true self...or a complete retconning of his character 😅

[@sarahnour5561]

He was like that in Eclipse, when he sexually assaulted Bella and manipulated her into kissing him.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Enjoying Harm during Sex? Sick. The whole BDSM-Community in its Entirety? Sick and pitiful.

[@sarahnour5561]

@@slevinchannel7589 OK virgin 😆

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@sarahnour5561 Wow. What a deranged answer, together with a smiley. Wow. Just Wow.

[@friedatheiling598]

Okay hear me out here - how does the venom move around without a heartbeat and how do they not just leak if someone tears off a limb? The venom is a sentient parasite, that's how. Vampires are actually zombies

[@HobGungan]

**insert obligatory symbiote reference here**

[@rebellyanmagic6409]

Midichlorians

[@Ratsos12]

Ooblek, everyone’s favorite non-Newtonian fluid? Just more lethal. Edit, should have just said Ketchup, but with a different variety of nightshade.

[@nataschavisser573]

This reminds me of the series of paranormal romance novels which starred vampires whose blood was infected with nano-tech AI stuff. It was explained so badly, however, that the venom thing almost seems reasonable.

[@NWolfsson]

I mean, goddamnit, keeping a bit of mystery and occult in a world where werewolves can instantly and without missing a beat turn into a wolf wouldn't be that far fetched... Especially when Edward talks about his... condition about being cursed, and the vampires having very clearly occult powers. In the RPG Vampire: The Masquerade most things about the vampires aren't "explained" because... Yeah, they're actually cursed, no virus, no alien (well, there's this hypothesis about the Tzimisce, but very few take that seriously), No. Venom. That's a Rowling syndrom: explaining something that wasn't to be explained a posteriori.

[@merrittanimation7721]

I can't wait until he reaches the creepy imprinting part of this book.

[@billuraral1870]

The worst part? It's still better than Ana and Christian's honeymoon.

[@breezy3392]

I just watched Dom's 50 Shades reviews and OMG you're right

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@breezy3392 Disgusting books and movies. I hope they stop already.

[@breezy3392]

@@slevinchannel7589 Unfortunately they've spawned others like 365 Days and After 🤮

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@breezy3392 Yeah, i heard for them. Dont call me C-Culture, but honestly? I reported some Videos on KZbin, just cause i find it so harmful.

[@J_Isak]

As a chronologically ill person with a uncommon illness with no direct treatment I've actually had Dr's do a "I've never seen that; you must be making it up" sooooo its not as unbelievable as you may think..... still a stupid plot point though

[@annabellemoore4214]

I’m sorry, best wishes in recovering.

[@EileenGallia]

"Probably this morning" most truthful words ever spoken

[@pyromasteralex]

When he said that the first thing that came to mind is "or at night" because i heard a farmer had to get a guard dog because people were jumping his fence to try to have sex with the horses.

[@caminski4177]

I immediately went to the comments to find someone talking about that joke. Thank you 😂😂🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jeangale6914]

I am still trying to process the video's title.

[@chendror872]

Same trying to imagine it is probably a bad idea

[@liseegeskov8769]

I have trauma now

[@jeffengel2607]

This is our life now.

[@kcorphan308]

I honestly kind of wonder if Stephenie Meyer caught the Spiderman comic where it turned out that Peter's sperm was radioactive and contributed to MJ's death and thought that was hot or emotional instead of ridiculous?

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

Edward's personality isn't the only thing toxic about him apparently.

[@Artemisa97]

I'm sorry, but Edward's face when Bella told him she's SOMEHOW pregnant sent me xDDDD Great sketchs for a not-so-great book.

[@NWolfsson]

B:"Edward... I'm pregnanté!" E:"Bella.. How could you become pregananant?! I'm a living corpse!" B:"Well, maybe your living corpse dad who is a living corpse doctor could explain why I've become preggers?" E:"Suuuuure... Let me just check WikiHow on how to make a woman not gregnant anymore...." B:"What was that?" E:"Nothing!"

[@jku9936]

What's brilliant is that it's just Dominic-as-Cullen being frozen via editing, but the 'chase' sequence was so funny you didn't notice. Also the best Book!Cullen is Peter Cullen and if you want to deny it, fight me.

[@lightsideofsin8969]

The only critique I have here is that yes, a lot of doctors do operate on the "I never heard of it, so I assumed it can't happen" logic. It's even more often a "The symptoms you're describing are either too rare or too specific so you must be imagining/faking/lying about them".

[@kaitlyn__L]

Your icon is so cute! And yeah, I had to laugh a bit at that one. (See also the idea that being sectioned isn’t a very real risk to consider, in an earlier review.)

[@jeffwoods4406]

Honestly when I first read these books as a pre-teen, I didn’t see any character development in any of them, they were just stagnant, and I kept getting confused when Bella would get disappointed by something Edward did when it was obviously something he would do, like treating her like a child and deciding what’s “best” for her

[@breezy3392]

There was no character growth or development whatsoever in these book. They never learn or change at all from one book to the next. Just...bad writing

[@justabitofamug6989]

they don't need to eat or sleep and are immortal, and Carlisle has been working for like several hundred years, even on a doctors salary you can get rich rich

[@windhelmguard5295]

dude probably just got lucky with a few investments he wasn't thinking much about, that turned a huge profit over a few centuries. like imagine buying just a small patch of land outside a growing town and getting to live long enough to still be around when that town has become a city, with that small patch of land now being city centre and worth millions.

[@Gummybunnybearsmiles]

Alice also uses her future vision to guide their investments for ultimate profit

[@DukeSkylocker]

The Alice knowing what would happen to the stock market alone explains their wealth. Can you imagine someone investing in Amazon, Google and Microsoft when they were starting up? It makes Biff Tannon's betting on games he knew the result to look quaint by comparison.

[@saoirsecameron]

Compound interest

[@riley8385]

Nah. Rich-rich people don't make their money working, my dude. You can get like upper-class boomers rich working, depending on your field, but not rich-rich.

[@funsocks13]

Actually many doctors work on the "I haven't heard it so it does exist" mindset.

[@Dragonshade64]

Yeah, and it sounds like it's particularly common for Female, disabled and/ or LGBT patients. It's often accompained by refrains like "It's all in your head/ you're making it up" and "Just lose weight and it will go away" among other phrases and with multiple variations. I am fortunate that I haven't had Doctors like that but it could also be that they are less common in the parts of Australia that I live in (they do exist here too though).

[@Rathdrgnknight]

The bed-breaking vampire sex was what I started reading for and the fact that it faded to black pissed me off. Then Bella got Pregnant and the 180 was complete. Excited to see the next part of your review.

[@Xehanort10]

First the bed breaks then Bella's back does.

[@thomasraines1396]

@@Xehanort10 the rest of the story is simply a dream conjured in Bella’s head is she tries to block out the pain of her back being snapped like a Kit Kat bar.

[@Xehanort10]

@@thomasraines1396 A pain induced hallucination caused by feeling like her spine is being ripped from her body.

[@thomasraines1396]

@@Xehanort10 yes

[@specialtwice4975]

I vaguely remember the reason why the mom agrees is this: Mom: "You are not me." Bella: "But what if we are getting married too soon?" Mom: "Are you happy with him?" Bella: "Yes, of course. I love him with all my heart." Mom: "Then you will do what's best for you." (Also probably the mom agrees because she is a shallow/naive character, and lets face it, Edward is handsome and rich. And to Bella's mom Bella could do a lot worse.)

[@MistyWarden]

Bella’s mom got married at 18 to a cop in a tiny and depressing town in the middle of nowhere and is now married to a minor league baseball player. Bella is marrying the filthy rich son of a doctor who owns his own island. I’m 0% shocked that Renee is ok with her daughter’s marrying up.

[@Skywardflare758]

I’m willing to defend the whole half vampire children being extremely rare to the point of being almost unknown bit. If conception is less likely than in regular human relationships, most vampires killing or turning their lovers, then the few that don’t having a tiny chance to conceive, with the potential of the pregnant woman being executed for witchcraft or something of the sort historically or the head vampires executing them for making a child vampire, it doesn’t seem too unreasonable that they’re unknown.

[@gogreen2496]

The fetus is also very likely to kill the mother before being able to survive outside the womb! So yeah, totally buy how rare.

[@LordofFullmetal]

Me too, actually. I agree that a LOT of vampire men have probably fucked human women - but I also think it's very unlikely most of them survived long enough to have the baby. Several factors play into this: -fertility; even with two healthy people, it's not THAT common to get pregnant the first time you have sex. It happens, but not every single time. Plus we don't know how fertile vampire men actually are. -Edward hurt Bella while trying to be gentle. I seriously doubt most vampires are that gentle. Edward is known to have amazing self control where Bella is concerned. -Vampire attitudes in general towards humans aren't that positive. Aside from Edward's coven and the Denali, most vampires really don't seem to see humans as much more than a snack. This makes sense; they devalue and dehumanise their prey, to make the concept of killing it easier to swallow. We do this too. So I imagine most occasions of vampire men screwing human women were non-consensual, took place during or immediately before a hunt, and if the sex didn't kill her the blood loss probably did. Were there only two successful hybrid births ever? Doubt it. But unless it was happening all the time, it wouldn't be common knowledge - and I can't see it happening all the time.

[@cassie6146]

Would it have really been that difficult to say, "vampires have similar biology to humans just with some minor differences like lower body temperature, pale skin, super strength and agility, and a diet of blood?" I don't think anyone was coming into this story begging to learn about how vampires lubricate. Oh who am I kidding, it's Twilight.

[@riley8385]

Or don't explain their biology at all. Vampires are pop-culture classics, they don't need too much introduction. Quite literally you just need to explain the things that differ from the vampire stereotype everyone is already familiar with and that's it.

[@LordofFullmetal]

Teenage me legitimately came up with better vampires than Meyer, and my vampires were terrible.

[@NWolfsson]

@@riley8385 She has clearly magic werewolves, she can have magic vampires, especially since nothing before indicated there was anything but occult about them

[@slevinchannel7589]

Enjoying Harm during Sex? Sick. The whole BDSM-Community in its Entirety? Sick and pitiful.

[@riley8385]

@@slevinchannel7589 You sound like someone who can't find the g-spot.

[@artemiswolf4508]

Dom didn’t even tell the full explanation... apparently the water of the ocean warmed Edward’s “jewels” enough to allow him to “eject”. Which is probably why is so rare is almost unheard off, those are some pretty specific set of circumstances.

[@dia.96]

And the part about the sperm can't be created so it's the one that he had when he died and he's a 100 year old virgin

[@sharonspears-mandeville2369]

Um,but isn't the ocean _salt water_ ? I thought salt AND vampires don't work so well together..

[@frostfang1]

@@dia.96 oh.. hunh I guess that explains Renesmes accelerated growth. Shes older than Bella. Kinda.

[@seroquelz]

Thats still making my logic alarm bells go off. Ocean water is around 70 F/20 C, they get warmer weather on land. So how is it that the water did the trick bt not the hot ass air in a tropical climate?

[@Everyyoueverymiau]

What the actual? I thankfully forgot about all that stuff like heating up his balls and 100 year old sperm. I want to unread these comments 🙈

[@abiss6988]

That little chase scene has supplied me with at least a weeks worth of serotonin, thank you!

[@windsroad-]

as a person who read the books as a pre-teen before breaking dawn came out, the later books really were a disappointment. I mean the series as a whole is not very good, I know that, but even from pre-teen standards it was disappointing. that said, the LENGTH of the books is one of the appeals that I forgot about. I loved having like 700 pages in one book to read.

[@Natalie66796]

*Jacob`s Character Is Butchered* Dominic: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?! YOU MANIACS!

[@thatgirlreacts5465]

I saw the title and I was like “oh that’s a funny joke, lemme watch the video and see when he comes up with it and why”. Then I watch it and realize it’s not a joke, that’s the authors explanation to how Edward functions sexually and I just couldn’t... I laughed so hard I cried! Omg I don’t think Dominic did justice to just how awesomely ridiculous this is. Omg omg omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@taramorgan3911]

I recently learned that the vamp family is estimated to be richer than Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne COMBINED which just seems wild to me

[@nocturnalizzie]

Well, Carlisle has been around for a super long time and spent a lot of that time working as a doctor of some sort. They don't need to buy food or heat their house or get medical care. Add to that the fact that Alice can tell exactly when she should buy or sell stocks.... yeah.

[@taramorgan3911]

@@nocturnalizzie yeah it makes sense but that won't stop it from feeling weird to me lol

[@windhelmguard5295]

@@nocturnalizzie or imagine this: -buy a patch of land outside a promising looking town. -forget all about it -remember 200 years later -that patch of land is now city centre and worth millions obviously normal humans simply couldn't invest long term like this, but any vampire who doesn't, is a gigantic fool.

[@ingonyama70]

@@windhelmguard5295 You're assuming all vampires become vampires with enough money to randomly go around buying up real estate.

[@hyperpotion3805]

I know this is a slog for you, Dom, but I am kind of pleased we're getting three videos out of this. You are just a ton of fun to watch. And there's something very cathartic about you reviewing these.

[@spankyandtheghost7392]

About the wealth, Edward makes a comment in one of the books that the money just adds up. Carlisle has been earning a doctors salary for a long long time.

[@heidiwills4259]

"Alice uses her power to commit stock fraud". I swear that a book about Alice would be much, much more interesting.

[@e.s.r5809]

You know, this is kind of the only one of these books I enjoy in this trainwreck way. Meyer is a genuinely good horror writer when she puts her hand to it, as you've noted. This story about these dumb, mean, toxic people who are awful to each other is fascinating to me. Bella's horrible self destructive masochism is fascinating. The body horror of her pregnancy and birth is really well done. I even liked the bizarre plot and POV derailing, the previous books were pretty slow fair but this one climbs to wild heights of escalation. The happy ending has a touch of Stepford wivery, if the reader were the one being lulled into a false sense of security and joy about these dreadful people who will go on longing forever for murder and blood. Delightful.

[@samalvarez8776]

When you put it that way, I can get on board. If she had written a horror instead of romance, I think it would have been good. She does have a pretty good lean into body horror. Some of it reminded me of Abarat from Clive Barker, and how he describes some of his characters

[@katuni08]

I wonder if that’s why I liked it so much as a teen. I was never in love with any of the characters the way my peers were. I was fascinated by the psychology of it all. Thinking of it as a romance-horror is very on-brand for teen-me.

[@runningcommentary2125]

Apparently she wrote a thriller about a poisoner that is actually pretty good.

[@prcervi]

yeah seriously, would've had a gold mine of a horror/thriller franchise if she'd just made it that genera rather then trying to pen it a teen romance though that's also saying terribly worrying things of her religion, because none of the cruel shit that goes on in the series is even remotely as okay as Meyer wants to pretend it is.

[@Dragoderian]

Of course, the instant she starts writing actual horror it would fail because she doesn't understand why it's terrifying.

[@aurorajof9857]

I didn't really feel well today, but you chasing yourself as Bella and Edward in the beginning (and the entire brief synopsis in general) really cheered me up, so thank you Dom :)

[@MsWhitekanna]

I hope you feel better

[@aurorajof9857]

@@MsWhitekanna I do now, thank you :D

[@lucindaegonzales]

Yeah, I don't think anyone likes this book but the last- um- part.

[@azdajajeanne]

"That's just not how doctors *do* ; medicine doesn't work on a 'Well, I've never heard of this happening, so I just assumed it was impossible,' train of reasoning." 😅 Oh, Dom. Meyer is a woman. That is probably her actual, lived experience of doctors...Women and minorities get told all the time that something is impossible because it's outside the realm of a male doctor's experience. I've had the same condition for ten years, and I spent eight years having male doctors tell me I couldn't have it because I was young, and everyone they'd treated for it was elderly. Hell, when I went to the hospital for *coronavirus symptoms* during the *coronavirus pandemic* , a male doctor had the nerve to tell me, in the 21st century, that I was probably suffering from hysteria. I promise, Carlisle making assumptions at Bella's expense is probably the most realistic part of these books.

[@ShawndaPrawn]

The fact that cases like yours are still happening these days is honestly shocking. What next? Judges letting rapists off Scott-free simply because they seem nice? Oh wait...

[@gregoryefs9898]

Can I just say, as a doctor myself, that this is needlessly politicized because every colleague of mine i know does that to everyone? No distinction goes into their minds, they just work EXACTLY the way Dom explained they don't work

[@azdajajeanne]

@@gregoryefs9898 You may not. You can, instead of proving my point that you're dismissive of real concerns, go google the many studies that have been conducted about and the many papers written on the existence of discrimination. Then you can google more information on how female doctors provably save more lives just by doing what male doctors won't: listening to their patients. That condition I mentioned? A female doctor correctly diagnosed me with it the year I got it; the reason it took me eight years to prove it was because it's a diagnosis of exclusion and I had to be tested for other stuff first. And she moved, and was replaced with a series of male doctors. You're only confident that discrimination doesn't exist because it doesn't affect you. You think you're proving me wrong, but you have simply publicly admitted you and everyone of your acquaintance are unfit for their jobs in public service. Being a woman isn't a political opinion, it's a fact of my existence. And the fact that you felt the need to correct me about my lived experiences, when I am a stranger, no less, proves my point about your arrogance, conceit, and selfish disdain for others; which has no place in a workplace where the wellbeing and very lives of your patients are at stake. Do not bother replying to me further. Dominic Noble is a decent guy, and I'm not going to waste my time by flooding his comments with your nonsense or my impatience with it.

[@funkyfranx]

@@gregoryefs9898 People don’t like having their victim card taken away

[@boobah5643]

@@azdajajeanne So because one doctor, who by your own admission, _guessed_ correctly the rest are quacks? No, that's not entirely fair. But neither are you.

[@Wormwoodification]

My intense concern, now that you've brought it up, is how did he not turn her when he.... ahem finished? I mean ... it 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘴.

[@lali_kay]

Goodness me

[@equasimilione6493]

*Takes long drag of cigarette* Well, it's a mystery, innit?

[@thevampirelover]

I'm shocked that you didn't have a little quip about Claudia in there during your point about vampire toddlers, but I'm still thoroughly entertained and also your habitual cat outtakes are a blessing, thank you.

[@lunaraindrop]

"He would have done science, you know!" THANK YOU! I have been making this argument about Dr. Carlisle Cullen for years!

[@almightykue3914]

I think we all know that is not how doctors work. Many doctors do follow the mentality of "Never heard of it, not my focus" logic. Carlisle would have just presumed he would have heard Something about it in the years prior. Most vampires do not mate with humans either, in fact the Denali girls are the origins of the Succubi legends and they are considered an oddity for letting the people they sleep with LIVE afterward. So most vampires would just fuck and then kill their victim, no time for a pregnancy to form.

[@haileyharmon5298]

I haven't been this quick since well, Bella was on her honeymoon.

[@YumeDokiDoki]

I'd reccomend not buying raycons, they're overpriced and subpar in sound quality. A youtuber called DankPods talked about them if you're interested in the details. (This isn't me being against sponsorships in youtube vids, I'm glad you're getting sponsored! I just don't want people to go out and buy them, then blame you when their expectations weren't met.)

[@Black-Swan-007]

My husband bought Raycons a while back and he loves them. He uses them all the time without any issues. To each their own I suppose.

[@YumeDokiDoki]

@@Black-Swan-007 Dont get me wrong, you can definitely use them without any problem, theyre not so bad theyre trash. I mean that for the money, you can get way better ones for way cheaper!

[@sevencats4964]

i misread raycons as raccoons xD

[@YumeDokiDoki]

@@sevencats4964 To be fair I wouldn't recommend buying racoons either, they're very noisy, pretty bad sound quality over all. 0/10

[@becauseimafan]

@@YumeDokiDoki 😂😂😂

[@becauseimafan]

I f*cking loved the part where Bella chases Edward back & forth across the screen! I was laughing so hard I cried tears down my face and nearly hyperventilated! 🤣🤣🤣 I read the books, how was that _so accurate!_ 🤣 I'm gonna re-watch that part so often, omg

[@becauseimafan]

I was in my 20s when the books came out and I read them. I was the only one of my friends to, and I made the only mildly interested one come with me to see the first Twilight on opening night. Being in that sold-out room, with 4 boys total and surrounded by teen girls who were FANS to come to the first downtown showing on the first night? It was AMAZING. We all laughed at the same unintentionally funny parts - Edward getting a big whiff of Bella in front of the classroom fan! 😂 Seeing Edward sPaRkLe terribly! 😂 The moment Bella met Jacob got a couple "Huh?"s (she's supposed to meet Edward first, dammit!). It was an incredible movie-going experience, it was an awesome fandom experience, and it was so damn *positive!* We knew it was cheesy and ridiculous at times, and we enjoyed the hell out of it! The claps and cheers when we'd get to see a beloved character for the first time! That slow walk into the cafeteria by each Cullen one at a time 😂. Oh and the opening scene? Bella's voiceover of well-known lines from the book, and the blurry chase back and forth in the woods between a deer and a vampire got oodles of "ooh"s and cheers, and screams when at the end we could totally tell it was Edward, first sighting! 😂 I loved going to opening night showings *because* of this movie experience, and I was a *fan* of movies already, I had already gone to a few but none with a fandom like this. ♥️

[@taramorgan3911]

It's nice to see how respectful you are of twilight fans, I feel like they've had it too bad for too long

[@Xehanort10]

If some of them didn't have an attitude of "How dare you not like Twilight you monster. It's the best. You're just jealous of Edward and Bella's love" they'd have had it a lot easier.

[@Erlrantandrage]

The amount that Dom hates misogyny keeps me coming back again and again for these videos.

[@LizzaRob160]

Despite Stephenie Meyers attempts, these books act as a huge pro choice ad.

[@agirlinsearchof9057]

It’s kinda funny in that way. The typical image we have of “pro-choice” is the pregnant person choosing to terminate the pregnancy, but the key part of being pro-choice, rather than anti-birth, is acknowledging that _any_ choice the pregnant person makes regarding _their_ pregnancy, whether they abort or give birth, is valid. And Bella _did_ choose from the beginning to keep it. Granted, I am _not_ defending the writing. The writing still sucks. I just found that aspect to be interesting coming from a book that, quite frankly, is terrible.

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

Breaking Dawn is accidentally pro-choice in itself. Bella is adamant that she wants to continue the pregnancy, while Edward wants to overrule her decision and take control of her body. The book wants us to think that Edward is wrong because Renesmee turns out to be a wonderful angel child and Bella doesn't die, but those were things he actually had *very good reasons* for being concerned about. But everyone can agree that the shitty way Edward dismisses Bella's wishes is awful.

[@katsucandy]

watching the birth scene in the movie sure as FUCK made me want to never ever have kids, that for sure **shudders**

[@johannymilord3371]

@@PassTheMarmalade1957 yeah But Renesmee is so Mary Sue. Just like her mother.

[@DarkMasterofCupcakes]

I know it's supposed to be referring to the fact that, as a vampire, Edward was supposedly not able to impregnate her...but Bella just being like "I'm pregnant....somehow" makes it seem like she legitimately didn't realize that sex can result in babies.

[@ChemoshKamos]

So their bodily fluids are venom. Vampire bites you, you become vampire spawn. You bit a vampire, you still become a vampire spawn. What happens if a cobra bites a vampire, they both have venom? Vampire Cobras! Oh my god VAMPIRE COBRAS!

[@henryisthere]

Love this!

[@WantSomeWhiskey818]

Thats so fucking cool XD

[@evanrigel954]

well thats a title

[@jaycievictory8461]

When I finished Breaking Dawn, I threw the book across the room. Literally.

[@breezy3392]

I was screaming out loud "They're so stupid!"

[@nativewarmask9861]

Just putting this out there, he’s literally a supernatural creature, he has shown the ability to stop a several ton vehicle, as idiotic as I think these books are, I really believe that him thinking to not want to hurt her unintentionally isn’t the worst issue. But then, I am sincerely afraid to even post this,, as I’m afraid that I’m going to basically be given some kind of a free agency and consent lecture, what I mean by that is this, I’m afraid that someone’s going to tell me it should’ve been ultimately her decision, but as it takes two people to be intimate, each of them have the right to make a decision, and he was overcome with guilt by the fact that he physically hurt her, he left physical marks on her person, if my partner and I were not in that kind of dynamic, with that sort of thing as expected, I would be mortified as well. and I say again, ability to stop a several ton vehicle, having power to hurt the person they care for, and wanting to be resistant to the idea, is the very same reason that the mother confessor and Richard cipher could not be together in the sort of truth series.

[@JadeIsChronicallyTired]

I agree that both parties should consent, and Edward Venom-Penis has the right to say 'no I'm not into this', but the big thing comes from him not wanting to hear her out at all. It feels very steamroll-y. These two aren't exactly portrayed as the greatest communicators ever, but there's a sense of frustration on the reader's part since we're in Bella's head. Ultimately, I think they both suck at hearing each other out, just in opposite ways. Edward steamrolls past Bella's opinions and when it's convenient for her she disregards his. It's just that we're along for the ride in Bella's head so you get that same sense of 'just listen to me first!'

[@nativewarmask9861]

Thank you for articulating back, I can definitely agree with everything but you said, and you’re completely right about their dynamic.

[@shayla106]

Native war mask Why didn’t he just lay down and let her ride him? That way she does all the work, which would greatly limits the amount of harm he could cause her. The only thing that would get destroyed is their beds.

[@squirrel_killer-]

@@JadeIsChronicallyTired it is fairly common to see such steamrolling related to sex stuff in BDSM relationships when the dom is significantly less sadistic than the sub is masochistic. If the usual sorting is reversed (masochistic dom, sadistic sub) it tends to be better talked out. Same if if the dom is just far more sadistic than the sub is masochistic. It's just that one pairing results into a communication break down. It's very common to see a dom steamroll past the subs willingness to continue when they think they've gone to far in a panic of thinking they've horribly hurt them in a way they weren't ok with. More than once I've witnessed the kind of comical results of this, as you got a sexually frustrated sub comforting their traumatized dom and it's the most "it's ok... I'm fine... You did nothing wrong... Can we get back to the sexy stuff now?" Look on a humans face ever. It often results in a more natural version of this very twilight scene.

[@JadeIsChronicallyTired]

@@squirrel_killer- Sure, but BDSM has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better communication than these frustrated nut jobs. Aftercare for doms is important and it usually comes down to having to relearn boundaries and (in my case) using safe words as a way to show enthusiastic consent to make sure my dom knows I'm happy. Doms need to be cared for too afterall, it can be pretty taxing when they get out of their dom headspace and they can feel like a horrible person without the right care. But that's definitely not what's happening here, if it were an isolated event I'd give it more leeway, but these characters are just assholes imo

[@noblesseoblige319]

Idk, I'm kinda with Edward on the whole no sex thing. I get that it isn't his call by himself, but he is literally a human killing machine, who has an insane amount of features specifically designed to hunt and kill humans. If he loses control during sex and might KILL HER, then yeah, postponing that to save her life is friggin smart. Yes, she should normally get a say, but this is way too dangerous to do so. Just because you enjoy not wearing a seat belt doesn't mean that it is unfair for the cops to forbid you from doing it- it can save her life. He really should talk to her about it and all, but consent requires both people and he clearly thinks it is too dangerous to want to continue having sex that could kill her so she should respect that as much as he should respect her if the roles were switched (as in, the human female not wanting to almost die during sex and thus not wanting to continue tempting fate by having sex, not the gender roles being flipped.)

[@KazekageOfTheFunk]

I was a twilight fan when I was in high school (ten years ago, I'm almost 28 now) and I recently purchased Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edwards pov) for nostalgia purposes and....yikes. Meyer hasn't learned. Edward has his typical creepy behavior, but now he actively refers to the HS students at Forks as kids in his internal monologues, which makes it weird as hell that he pursues Bella, when he views the other people her age as children.

[@breezy3392]

Edward thinks of himself as so much older more mature and above it all, but in a lot of ways he is a melodramatic, thinks-he-already-knows-it-all, self-centered teenager

[@noelbernabe8704]

Referring to someone as a child can be in reference to maturity, as opposed to physical age. Emmet for example is almost a century old, but I'll wager at times he's viewed as a child too.

[@some_metalhead]

Dude deadass calls her a “frail, woman-child”

[@Jackylification]

I kinda laughed when you talked about doctors not just ignoring the possibility of something... They do, all the time. They'll try one test and then say you're faking the pain.

[@melissabarrera8913]

Then you have a very shitty doctor mate, get another one, all the doctors I've seen (and my family too) are super thorough

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

@@melissabarrera8913 There's a 50/50 chance. I went to over 30 appointments about severe stomach pain about two years ago and every single doctor I saw, including specialists, gave up after only a few tests. Luckily the pain did eventually go away, but doctors (at least here in America) can suck.

[@luisab3079]

Lol same here. XD Having a rare chronic illness is a sure way to kill your trust and optimism about doctors

[@xRaiofSunshine]

They literally kill people with their neglect 😑

[@KnightsaysNi]

"It's never lupus."

[@coiler_119]

I feel ashamed to admit this now, but when I first read the series, "Breaking Dawn" was my favorite and I reread it more than the other three. As an adult, yeah, I can see how toxic everything about it was, but at the time when I was 12-13, I was very firmly Team Edward and I was so blinded by the fact that my then-OTP got a "happily ever after" that I overlooked some of the most glaring faults. That, and I was fascinated to finally experience, through Bella's eyes, what being a vampire would be like as well as learning about the other clans/vampire lore and whatnot. I still appreciate those aspects, but I definitely recognize the glaring faults and giant red flags that are treated as non-issues -- for instance, I vehemently wish that SMeyer did not write Jacob imprinting on Bella's newborn daughter and implying that they would later fall in love. Just...ugh. So while I recognize the glaring issues with it, I can't help but have a fondness for this book.

[@elim_inator]

Jacob's going to do WHAT NOW?!?

[@coiler_119]

Imprint. On Bella's newborn daughter. And he tries to justify the attraction by saying "Don't you see? Remember how we couldn't stay away from each other [while Bella was still pregnant]?" He implies that he was attracted to her daughter in utero. And by the by, the fandom is Very Not Okay with this and has obviously memed this to death

[@elim_inator]

oh my god this is so terrible i want to wipe my memory from this fact now :( How did Meyer write this and not realise how fucking creepy and awful that is?

[@coiler_119]

Honestly, I have no idea. Apparently, this was her plan from the start, and the fact that no one in the publishing process stopped it

[@Legs05]

On an all new Halloween episode of Law & Order SVU......

[@artemiswolf4508]

But then shouldn’t the “crotch” venom turn Bella into a vampire?

[@rmreilly9472]

Only the saliva has vampire creating abilities

[@artemiswolf4508]

R M Reilly Why doesn’t she turn into a vampire every time they make out then?

[@RabblesTheBinx]

@@artemiswolf4508 she has impeccable oral hygiene, so the saliva doesn't get into her blood

[@akiriith]

@@artemiswolf4508 same reason why if you eat something venomous it wont affect you. Venom needs to come in contact with blood to have any effect, and your digestive tract does not have direct contact with blood :) You could drink snake venom if you wanted to, unless you had an open ulcer or something similar, you wont die. (but dont go off drinking snake venom just in case lmao). that said, Meyer does not in fact know that, and the canon answer IS Edward's "impeccable oral hygene", aka the fact that he keeps his mouth shut when kissing her lmao

[@thegodofalldragons]

@@akiriith LOL, really? That is wonderfully stupid.

[@nataschavisser573]

Breaking Dawn didn't cause people to "drift away from the fandom". Rather, it caused them to flee at great speed.

[@StarPrincess144]

Does anyone remember when MOTHERS and DAUGHTERS read this together? I was a teen when it came out and looking back on it, oof why did our moms get into the same smut as us? Especially the last book 😱

[@arandanomyrtille3087]

Ikr?? Neither my mom nor I ever read them, just knew them by reputation, but I had a friend in high school whose mom was friends with my mom, they both loved them and gushed over how "romantic" they were. I understand either a teenage girl or a middle-aged woman enjoying the series, but it's hard for me to imagine a mother being ok with her daughter being super into it, or vice versa. Like, maybe I'm just a prude, but it seems super weird to me to share what's basically p*rn with your parents.

[@greencharisard1444]

"....Spoilers for a future lost in adaptation" Yes YEEEEES I was wondering if you'd do the lost in adaptation for these. I've only seen the movies when I was in early high school (dragged by a friend) and there's stuff you've mentioned in your videos I both remember vividly, and don't remember, so I'm really curious to see how close the movies got to the books (is this going to be another 50 shades situation where a bad book series gets very fauthful adaptations?)

[@snakesnoteyes]

Sadly, if you’re a woman (and even more so if you’re a woman of color) “I’m not familiar with a thing so it doesn’t exist/you’re making it up” is a position that a lot of doctors have 😞

[@breezy3392]

That is so sad and terrible

[@berilsevvalbekret772]

Last time I clicked so fast E.L James were still called SnowQueen'sIceDragon

[@Mastermint]

I couldn't get over the *brazilian* maid in Esme Isle calling Edward a "libishomen", which is very close to "lobisomem", a werewolf. I mean, what the hell, we don't mix these things. She could have called him Chupa-cabra, but never lobisomem

[@annabloem2391]

Honestly you have a lot more faith in doctors than I do. They constantly tell me that my symptoms are impossible, and it took them over ten years to find out they were actually caused by a neck hernia -_-;

[@AveryTalksAboutStuff]

The title and thumbnail made me laugh and then cry for Dominic's discomfort. We appreciate your sacrifice, sir.

[@katzeartist5833]

And to put this all into perspective this entire story takes place in a span that's under 2 years. Bella met not one, but two men who fought over her, got married, had a monster kid, kissed her child's future squeeze, and became an immortal vampire from a guy she had not even known for two years. TWO YEARS!!!

[@Erlrantandrage]

This is why teens shouldn’t make major life decisions.

[@theultimateusukfan]

it's actually barely a full year. in the twilight guidebook, there's a full time line month by month (it skips months where nothing is said to happen in the books though) about what happens when. edward and bella only dated for 6 months until new moon, then stayed apart for i think 7 months? i might have the specific numbers off, but i remember learning they only were physically together for about 9-10 months and got married...so yeah all that happened in less than a year...then she is pregnant for a few weeks and gives birth, dies, and is turned all in that time frame...

[@katzeartist5833]

@@theultimateusukfan I'm being generous with the entire final Volturi conflict in the last part of the book that spans over 3 months. I wanted to throw some kind of bone to Meyers.

[@stephaniemasson1224]

I've never read the books, but I always assumed they took longer, and that bella was at least 20 by the time they got married. Now I'm finding out she not only got married as a teen, but also had a baby immediately after. Goddamn...

[@katzeartist5833]

@kshamwhizzle #Bellaneedsanap

[@TheGreatDevlin]

No cat has ever apologized. Ever. You can give up on that.

[@Cheshirestog]

Truer words were never spoken..typed.. my friend..

[@kayleeriley3591]

As a blind person with a cat who likes to bite me I could not agree more LOL

[@JustinPageSlayer]

Meyer's explanation for the whole pregnancy thing was that female bodies change over the month while male's do not, meaning that when vampirised, females lose the ability to birth children while men don't. Except that thats not true because men are constantly losing and reproducing sperm, and even if Edward's sperm was immortal like him, he wouldn't make any more because im pretty sure cell divisions like Meiosis have stopped and he'd certainly be out of it by the time Bella came along. Apparently Stephanie Meyer didn't make it past 5th grade

[@crowdemon_archives]

Permanently regenerating testicles...?

[@asthajindal5275]

Not to defend Meyer, it's just that your germ cells are actually immortal. Most cells in the body can only divide 50 - 80 times, that's why we age as our cells reach the end of their allotted divisions, but sperms and ova can regenerate forever and ever, the same ones and their reproduced cells pass down through generations.

[@shaylenwayne9284]

,"they have skin like ours albeit very fair" ... K then Stephanie

[@Astraldragon0]

One interesting thing about Breaking Dawn is that it's actually divisive and controversial among the fanbase.

[@GriffinPilgrim]

Vampires do tend to be rich; compound interest meshes well with immortality. I recall a similar note (but somehow more tasteful despite the deliberately edgy material) in the Vampire: The Masquerade tabletop game which went back and forth on whether vampires could have sex but did note that vampire body fluids are all altered blood. And then said most vampires prefer not to think about this too much.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Yeah, their pipes don’t quite work down there, so they’ve gotta slick everything up with blood before going to town. For other vampires? Yeah, I’m sure it’s fine. For human beings? That’s a great way to get a hepatitis.

[@GriffinPilgrim]

@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick Only if the humans the vampire fed from had it. This is why the Ventrue are so picky.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

GriffinPilgrim The Ventrue are picky because it’s a joke about class. They tend to be the aristocratic one percenters of the vampire world, and the blood of poor people is literal poison to them. Ba dum tiss.

[@GriffinPilgrim]

​@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick Hmmmm, not quite. My jab aside the Ventrue weakness is being unable to feed on all but a certain type of person who doesn't have to be rich. Indeed some Ventrue can only feed on certain generally disenfranchised group. It's more a reference to the elite having rarefied tastes just because they can.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

GriffinPilgrim I distinctly remember a portion of Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines where on my second playthrough I picked a Ventrue, and followed a homeless guy into an alleyway, tried to drink his blood, and then got sick in that alleyway. Maybe I misunderstood that, and it was actually supposed to greater resemble the specific preferences in the table-top, but that’s what I remember.

[@Evergreenoutsider10]

You should do the “short half life of Bree tanner” I think that’s the title. I think it’s pretty good.

[@pandapuff993]

If memory serves, the title is actually "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner". As someone who hates Twilight, I know way too much about Twilight. xD

[@thomasraines1396]

It’s called the “Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” just a minor correction.

[@LordofFullmetal]

I enjoyed that more than the actual series. Wasn't too shabby.

[@breezy3392]

@@LordofFullmetal It makes you see that Meyer can right descent characters and story, and how sad/rage inducing the direction she took Twilight was

[@ListlessLion]

Back when I was a teen and my friends and I had read these books, we thought the detail of the torn pillows was so funny, we would just randomly say "feathers" to get eachother to laugh.

[@fiercerodent]

I'm 2 minutes into the video and only just now noticing how gloriously animated Dominic's eyebrows are. I can't look at anything else.