Ep. 335 | Consumer Regrets

The Minimalists talk about purchases that lead to buyer’s remorse. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at Patreon: / theminimalists
Questions answered in this episode:
00:00 Does regret serve us in any way?
05:42 How do we overcome the loss and regret we feel after donating items so we don’t end up simply replacing them and repeating the cycle?
15:47 How do we recognize when we’re senselessly justifying a purchase that holds little to no actual benefit for us?
23:24 Do your children have any regrets?
27:31 What do we do when we experience buyer’s remorse with every purchase?
39:23 Listener comments and minimalism tips.

[@glendas1617]

I saved for and bought a new Subaru Forester 6 years ago. To this day I still experience the surprise and pride that it’s mine. It was 10 years after first wanting a Subaru.

[@vickinelson2659]

My regrets are often home decor related. Once, I walked into Home Goods and saw this cool brass-looking piece of a guy riding a bike. I thought it would look great in our house. We didn't have much - empty tables, a few bare walls, and I thought I needed to fill those spaces up (many people in my life told me my house looked a little barren). I bought the biker, put it on a ledge, and instantly hated it. That biker got moved from room to room, trying to fit into our home, and eventually ended up in a bag in the garage, only to be given to a thrift store. It wasn't an expensive item, but I learned a lot. I used to think I needed pieces to fill up my mantels and tables, to indicate to others about who I am. Now, I am careful about what I purchase, and no longer worry about what anyone thinks - if a table or wall is empty, I'm okay with that. As long as I am happy and content, it's all that matters. And I agree, regrets aren't bad. Regrets are just lessons we are supposed to learn.

[@lanegardinier760]

We lost our collective way the moment credit cards replaced layaway; layaway builds character while consumer credit debt builds ...regret!

[@sarahlockridge7879]

I just had the conversation with my husband last night. We had a lake house. We thought it was the dream... The payment was a nightmare. I literally felt like a slave to my job in order to pay for that house. We made profit on the house when we sold it, our house payment is literally more than half less than what it was and we can afford to make extra payments now.

[@thepinayminimalist]

I immediately regret most purchases made online. Buying from the store in person is better since you get the chance to inspect the item before buying it.

[@Sky-Child]

That is the business model though isn't it? Make it so easy to purchase on impulse. I deleted all my card details and logged out of all online stores and am amazed how much it has saved me

[@debramackillop950]

that is so true

[@nancyparker2199]

Being human, we will always have regrets about something. There's no reason to dwell on mistakes of the past because they're already done and finished and regretting your choices has one benefit. Learning from mistakes and making better decisions in the future.

[@MarleneHen]

I was happy to hear Ryan change his perspective on wedding clothes. I was kind of taken aback when I heard him tell what he wore to a wedding in an earlier episode. Good for you, Ryan. 👍 Yes. Being a minimalist does not equal not needing to show respect. That being said, my church culture encourages people to come as they are, and even long-time members do that. My family dresses nicely, but our teens dress down. I just ask that they don't have words, brands, etc. On their shirts.

[@sarahlockridge7879]

We had our son do foundations! It's an excellent program. He is so good with money! And he's 18! We paid him $25 to take the course. It was an incentive lol

[@jordanharriet]

Looking back now...I wouldn't have spent all the money that we (our parents) did on our wedding. At the time we thought it was great but we did it to make a lot of family happy. Now, I wish we just went to a Justice of the Peace and had a nice dinner with friends and immediate family.

[@aubreejobizzarro1208]

Before I had standards for what items I brought into my life were like(mostly with clothes) I hated my impulsive buys. Now I have narrowed down exactly what I want met for item criteria and once it fits all of those and I love it instantly, I haven’t had any regrets with those impulsive purchases. Mostly because they are not impulsive anymore, they are deliberate.

[@TamaraJoy7]

My biggest 2022 Consumer regret: 2nd hand Acoustic piano. Ended up selling it and buying a small white modern digital piano. PS; love the background behind you both today!

[@mssendfitness]

For my regret, its only associated to items I thought I would have put a higher value in.. or usefulness. While i am considerably a minimalist, I also struggle with not making the same mistake again. Its a learning curve.. a habit to break.

[@paulaharvill8132]

I think there's a difference between guilt and shame that you're missing with your pithy answer. Guilt is a feeling in response to doing something bad, shame is a feeling that says I am bad. Brene Brown says it a whole lot better than I can.

[@leighfitzpatrick1889]

so interesting! I'll up Brene Brown

[@Sky-Child]

On the subject of phones - I recently invested in a Fairphone. You can buy parts separately and fix them yourself at home, so no need to bin your phone every couple of years or if the screen cracks. Brilliant

[@Sky-Child]

And I DO say invest in this case - the warranty is several years (think it might be 5) but as long as you keep repairing it then it is probably good for longer than that

[@vickiwelsh]

I just found my high school class ring (1978)and my first thought was was "what a waste of money". What does a 62 year old do with a class ring? 🤣

[@tjatkinson88]

You sell it for the gold and make a huge profit from what you paid in 1978 :-)

[@christyncain9087]

I have my letter jacket, and I have zero idea what to do with it.

[@jordanharriet]

@@tjatkinson88 I did that with all of my jewellry and my husbands - we made a good little profit from the gold and silver and it wasn't even a lot of jewellry that we got rid of.

[@sheila_rabant]

$295 for Letterman jacket, $169 for class ring. Jacket still in my hope chest, sold the ring for under $10 for the stone because it wasn't gold or silver. I am at the high school stage of decluttering- class if 1993. Got rid of all yearbooks and down to awards and diploma.

[@brookieP6-10]

Anything bought off Amazon, I regret. I could not even tell you what I've ordered which is the saddest part!

[@ericamciver1293]

Me too, looks good online . Real life not so much.

[@NormyTres]

This is the first time I've seen this background - I've only seen the black one before. I prefer this, I could only see your heads bobbing around in blackness before. This even brings out the blue in both of your eyes, lol! Great episode too.

[@1TrueRedb0ne]

Bravo 🙌 Best way to set the school kids up for SUCCESS!!!!

[@jordanharriet]

I live in Ontario, Canada and the Finance Curriculum Program that you were talking about has been added to our Elementary and Secondary Math Curriculum. Congrats to both of you for creating such an important program in your hometown. On another note, it is so hard for young adults to go to post secondary school without going into debt and I imagine it deters many from continuing their education. Somehow these schools need to make post secondary education more accessible.

[@Nyny.1000]

You kind of mentioned it around 21:00, I see a lot of regret around buying stuff and not finding it WORTH it. I’ve experienced ownership as the only point at which true value could be assessed. Growing past that is a journey you guys are supporting me on so thanks.

[@anabellisimoes3208]

Once I went to a thrift shop and bought something around 10 pieces of clothes. I though that they were so cheap and beautiful that it worth it. At the moment that I got home I looked at all of that and regret instantly, but I promised myself that I would were them. It turned out that I only used to wear half of that pieces more than one time for the next year. So, I decided to get rid of them. The interesting thing about that is I felt that was a mistake, but still I fulled myself that I did not. Being honest would save me money, space and mainly, the felling of guilty.

[@kellygraves3817]

The dozens of figurines I just had to have in the early 2000s, that I just donated because no one wants them anymore and neither do I. All the $$ I spent that could have helped someone in need.

[@elizabeth277]

I always regret cheap furniture.

[@lizminco5689]

A house! 😵‍💫 In the crazy housing market, we felt FOMO! Back in 2018 I SOLD a house and missed out on all the price rises during COVID. TWO regrets. 😢

[@debramackillop950]

I did not research getting orthotics or some kind of help for my shoes after recovering from a broken bone in both feet and very long recovery time housebound and feeling helpless and trapped. I so wanted to hurry my ability to walk comfortably and get active again that I got taken in by a place called Good Feet and spent WAY TOO MUCH for a variety of shoe inserts that are not worth it. It was a tough but important lesson that I am moving on from but want to remember.

[@alanbirkner1958]

I seldom buy any consumer goods new. In 50(fifty) years of marriage, most furniture was second hand or trash picked. My jewelry was given to me (even gifts from my husband were second hand). If your friends show off their stuff, ignore them or look for people with similar values, especially if you have kids. Tina, Al's wife

[@mattropolisBC]

I regretted buying a electronic keyboard, even though I already have an acoustic piano. Turns out I didn't need it, but haven't gotten rid of it yet. It's almost more effort to get rid of something than to buy it.

[@natashyas4149]

You guys are amazing. I love your Dayton OH initiative ❤️

[@lorenzorev]

thank you guys! really food for thought as always

[@laurettadelmar2781]

About 99% of the time I regret buying cheap posters. I’ve only bought one that I really like. Everything else is just art I think looks cool but doesn’t match my room. Also regret buying shoes and clothes online. The hassle of returning often means I just keep hold of it.

[@minimalistsfan5858]

I probably have some regrets purchases but cant think of any major now. I recently downgraded to only tablet, normal one but I wanted for a long time to get AN iPad but then I was rethinking if I will use all the features. I dont go to School i dont do any major projects that will require ALL that things. I use only KZbin Spotify and other streaming service to watch , entertain myself * listening to the podcast * so dont regret that. As always thanks for this episode and advices. 👍🇵🇱💟

[@jaredvaughan1665]

Did you know INTJs and ENFPs form a Socionics pedagogue relationship? Constantly learning from each other. ENTP Socrates and INFJ also formed a Socionics Pedagogue relationship. KZbinr CS Joseph often talks about how good pedagogue relationships are.

[@ginakessler2372]

Alot of my regrets are buying to many sweets ! Lol 😂 but I am getting better.

[@angeliekklingen554]

I've got that with records, CDs ..my daughter is into music, and often, in a recordshop , it's like 'oh, I had that' and then there's a pang of regret...but then you think, would I ever listen to it again? Usually the answer is no. Would my daughter? Probably not that often either. And then they play something I used to listen too a lot(last time was Masters it Reality; )) and the I realise did not even own it..only a dying cassette copy. No matter what, often trying to match is not happening ; )

[@janesanchez213]

A Walmart tent and a Walmart sleeping bag. I was so cold camping in June 2019 in Julian, Ca.

[@AL-qd9pj]

Love this. I thought working in my dream career would be the means to all happiness. Then I got it and worked in the field didn't find it as fulfilling. Now back in medical administration enjoying a better work life balance. 😀

[@shaunaburton7136]

I saw that up to 11% of online purchases are returned. Think about how much waste that produces and resources used to transport things back and forth!

[@debramackillop950]

I read that amazon throws most returns to the landfill, doesn't even try to process the returns at all

[@shaunaburton7136]

@@debramackillop950 they do sell used stuff.

[@christelschmidt7468]

I love the plan and would love to know how to help students in Vancouver.

[@anyaconda3155]

Josh and Ryan, how would you practice contentment on a daily basis? This year I'm trying to be more content, which helps me live more intentional and helps with any consumer choices I have to make. Any tips? 🙂

[@mrseliephant]

You could keep a gratitude journal...Start off by writing 5 things that you are grateful for each day for a week. Each week you can add 5 more things, so that you have to think of 10 things each day that you are grateful for. Then each week you can add more and more. :) You could even take a few minutes each week and read what you wrote and reflect. Maybe that would help.

[@c.j.valentine3027]

Haha! I used to manage a layaway dept. at a Hill's in Johnson City, TN. I loved layaway! That is, until we lost one in the stockroom. Luckily that didn't happen too often.

[@nuchzara97]

My biggest regret is a pair of rollerskate. I use it once!

[@keric3730]

Right, for me it was exactly the same. It was the fantasy of gliding across sidewalks for me. And then I realized that the sidewalks had lots of twigs that my beautiful rollerblades were not equipped to handle. I remember that to talk myself out of buying an e-scooter. My ebike is something in happy with

[@loisbousselet2716]

medieval reenactment gear. i only ever went to one medieval camp in four years, never found the time to go again, and lost the interest. I'm letting it go !

[@LJ542]

"Sometimes things have a season, though.........." .Touche'.

[@c.l.bailey3256]

My biggest regret was buying 1000 ISBN’s for $1000 when I was a workaholic on Adderall starting a non-profit publishing company. I went off Adderall and realized I wanted to be a writer not a book distributor. And now have 1000 non-transferable ISBNs. Lol. Most random thing to own.

[@georgie1639]

I would LOVE to start a minimalist meet up in my city Cape Town, South Africa. I went to your website but couldn't quite work out the process of "registering" a new city or whatever you call it. Any help would be so appreciated thank you 😊

[@TheMinimalistsPodcast]

Thank you for your interest in expanding Minimalist.org and your willingness to support our community-it’s people like you who make this incredible community thrive! While we don't have any plans of shifting Minimalist.org away from Facebook for now, feel free to start your own Local Meetup Group in the meantime at a site like Meetup.com. And stay up to date by subscribing to our essays via email (no spam, ever). Thanks for your support-we appreciate you!

[@christineselig5440]

Couldn’t go to the Vancouver b.c show, because it was held at a vaccinated people only establishment

[@amonralice]

Guys, my boyfriend is already a minimalist without knowing. But! He did purchase an almost new car he uses for Uber, a car that, even his family was surprised to see in that video thing... 😶 Nobody knew. I didn't want to see it. I vacuum those silly "carpets" because I find value in him. Only that. 😑

[@jaredvaughan1665]

Tony Robbins is an ENFP!!!

[@anniesshenanigans3815]

so many things... mostly vehicles throughout my life. Small thing... panini press. what a HUGE waste of money.

[@Jesusislord469]

The financial curriculum: I home school. Will there be a way I can get it in my home ? Thanks.

[@TheMinimalistsPodcast]

Great! There are Ramsey Education contact details at theminimalists.com/education

[@TeresaCurrent]

Exercise Bicycle. Returned.

[@TeresaCurrent]

Moved on.

[@durianwalker]

rangerover to satisfy my ego and feel status. sold it 6mo later at 10,000 loss

[@SzilviaVirag]

A new phone last year. My old one was 4 years old and had a cracked screen, but still I wish I hadn't upgraded. Why? Because the old one still works and getting a new one does not add any more value to my life than the old one did. It's just a phone. Why are people so attached to their phones and upgrading all the time? You're right though about it being a useful regret because it was the moment I realised just how far I'd shifted away from consumerist society. And in either case, I still think if that's the only thing I've bought in the last 3 years that I wish I hadn't bought because I didn't absolutely "need" it, I've done very well.

[@replicantmonk4310]

Bought a bunch of Funko Pop figures. Instant regret.

[@Loveflower244]

Kitchen gadgets!

[@sashacollum7583]

Decorations

[@arleneo80]

Home decor

[@jaredvaughan1665]

Women make the bulk of consumer purchases and single women much more likely to be tied down by mortgages.

[@WiseWomanLola]

Makeup

[@iqbalhadiyansyah5206]

I brought a motorcycle and must pay Rp 1.625.000 ,- a month, and now i'm regret😭😭