Theo Vons Scary Cocaine Story

Theo Von and John Mulaney exchanging stories from when they were addicted to stimulants. From This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #440. Full podcast here - • John Mulaney | This Pa...

[@johnbrooks8552]

I love that he's throwing off Theo's story so much that Theo's brain is overworking itself to get through a story he's told a thousand times😂

[@lucynjambi2442]

He was annoying AF interrupting Theo 100 timea

[@johnbrooks8552]

@@lucynjambi2442 considering theo was about to ramble out the same the thing he does with everyone it was a nice change of pace to have someone force a real conversation out of him, I disagree

[@bullcrap9409]

No. Theo is not a quick thinker. He’s not a great story teller either. Anyone who was one or the other of those would have hit it out of the park playing of the set-ups Mulaney was offering up.

[@johnbrooks8552]

@@bullcrap9409 no one here claimed he was any of those things who are you replying to , in fact Theo's comedy style is more non sequitur shock jokes meant to throw off his guests for a reaction which through mulaney's attempts at real conversation had that effect on Theo to the point he stumbled through his thousand told tale

[@revwillyg6450]

Yeah, he didn't even get to tell how he thought he was saying Theodore in Spanish, but he was saying Te adoro, I love you, to the cab driver

[@thisthingiminto]

3:09 that simultaneous "ugh" is all i need to know how good it is to do coke in a single occupant bathroom with a key.

[@porkch0mp538]

its not that good. you just think it is at the time. youre really just an addict snorting stepped on shit off a toilet bowl with a dollar

[@dubkatmtl]

Doing cocaine off the baby changing station lmao

[@Munthegun]

@@dubkatmtlyuuuuuup lol

[@C.U.N.Tahiti]

It’s good for doing a variety of drugs in privacy

[@aidenlakata7662]

i love watching these guys and makes me appreciate all the times i avoided coke xD cart in the bathroom is always fun tho. dont think its the same tho...

[@clanbigger4]

Johns description of addiction at the end is really accurate. It's cessation not pleasure.

[@Squidjustice_]

No shit! I wanna hear his stories 😂

[@TrevorGray4758]

Dude I swear I didn’t look this up but that’s Andrew from BigMouth. I have this thing with voices because of Autism. I can make people.

[@RayRhino1]

Darryl definitely knew, all recovered people can see it in a hot second

[@jennifers.3818]

Right. Him being nonchalant and cool was just him trying to help out a fellow addict. He might be recovered, be he aint no snitch 😂

[@jamesbunyan1737]

Theo seemed genuinely connected to the conversation. Such a great person to actually talk to. When he is senses genuine people, and no judgement. Great talk. Prefer to listen to him than myself

[@mc9828]

I've heard this story a million times, but it's still great

[@hucklebuckchuck7218]

I like how when John Mulaney asked Theo von if he thought Darryl strawberry knew that he was on drugs, and he says I don’t know. If you are a recovering drug addict, you can always tell when somebody is on drugs for anybody who is wondering Darrell strawberry definitely knew Theo Von was on drugs that day..😂

[@MrNncon]

God that feeling pretending you need another line having waking nightmares about not having boze while you have 3 drinks left till the liqure store opens. Worrying about cash. Worrying about coming down but needing to go up while you chew your face lol

[@sirmegallot3276]

Jesus, let the dude tell his story....

[@iikantsleep0]

Stop telling Jesus wat to do

[@TheB00tyWarrior]

You've never done cocaine

[@jjwilling9395]

​@@TheB00tyWarrior and he should never use it.

[@benjaminschuler7221]

Right? Was the seat comfortable? Who cares?

[@TrevorGray4758]

He did………. The Bible. They are free.

[@user-bm7td2wo5f]

Theo has gotten some serious mileage out of this story. In fact, I think he tells it on every podcast

[@drumgold23]

Fake addicts everywhere in show biz

[@eleven9286]

and?

[@Blaztoize]

@@eleven9286 and I’ve heard it 6 times

[@ignaciocamacho5564]

@@Blaztoize I really feel like you HAVENT and youre dickriding

[@user-wb7nv9ht1g]

He didn't use coke much, it's like the people who have to quit drinking alcohol after doing it two nights in a row

[@jhubjrbrbr]

This guys look like they are going to buy a couple of 8 balls right after the end of the interview

[@DrewD76]

It felt like the guy was going to leave his kids…🤣🤣🤣

[@RiverboatPirate]

To be fair, Theo did say that he was- "Probably"-Gonna, lol. But with that little 'probably' inserted in front of such a statement, that makes it okay to laugh at and justify as exponentially funnier. On a side note- If anyone is keeping score, check your character sheets... If you managed to add +1 on your Tact attribute, congratulations on leveling-up.

[@Felipao216]

He's trying to figure out if this is a real story that actually happened lol

[@LuxuryBeatsMusic]

lmfao 😂

[@taotaostrong]

His reality testing is cracking me up.

[@Yourmomgoestocolledge]

Strawberry was on coke a long time... he could tell... he could tell 😂😂😂

[@arkfinz4947]

That kaleidoscope demonstration was wild

[@RoldanRR00]

This interaction seems more awkward than what happened in the taxi cab.

[@TrevorGray4758]

Didn’t feel that way at all. Not sure if you had got comfortable yet being by yourself in the new apartment. It’s ok bro just buy a cat or dog or whatever the fuck your into haha!

[@theworkethic]

This conversation hits home. It’s terrible.

[@Skip-vm1rf]

yep. been there. somehow made this lifestyle work for 4-5 years. have no idea why the hell i put myself through that.

[@handsomeblackman255]

Stories like these make you relapse. Then feel miserable the next day.....

[@Chillllllbruh]

Why you lie to yourself with your username like that? Crack?

[@ryanharber4512]

3:08 synchronized “ugh” LOL

[@ToriOdevlin-mx3rh]

😂

[@middy774]

“It’s your office!” Lmao

[@damienperez3525]

Landed on your comment right as 3:08 hit and my reading voice synced with them. Shiiiii.....

[@JohnDoe-cd6ro]

More like a tame, uneventful night for a ❄️ head.

[@stevee.7419]

Good thoughts, great decisions, no relapses, brother John.

[@nsns7993]

What are these interrupts and questions dude 😂😂😂

[@123456789helloman]

Annoying attempts at being funny? I haven't watched the full episode, definitely couldn't after listening to these few annoying minutes

[@astralmatrix]

Really killed the story for me. Theo couldn't finish a sentence, Mulaney kept interrupting with random questions and off-topic remarks. He was so uninterested in the story that he thought Theo was talking about an LA yellow cab!

[@johnbrooks8552]

@@astralmatrix it's not anything theo doesn't do himself to literally everyone I think y'all just can't handle listening to real conversation instead of 10 minutes of twice told dick jokes and fake stories

[@user-fj9zd6me5o]

Sun glasses always give it away😂and the awkward silence while your sittin tryna bite your own ear off😂

[@zackamania6534]

2:51 Daryl Strawberry probably makes many appearances in different peoples cocaine stories

[@NarcoticZombie]

"how comfy were the seats" wtf asks that question lol

[@alrasheedsalih8746]

The back seat was really nice 😂😂😂

[@ChannelVideoYoutube]

Wow John is so charming even when he is annoyed/irritated lol

[@Patrick.Weightman]

"You could feel the despair"

[@bobs2809]

I wish the other guy would interrupt Theo more.

[@Ndizzyinthehizzy]

He was a coke addict. Old habits die hard. Talking back quickly is all he knows.

[@petegonad]

The video game of being an addict is perfect. I’m using that. It’s so stressful trying not to get found out. Gives me anxiety still when I think about it.

[@briannagomez6019]

Me snabbbing chopppers before I g greet my family at the family gathering 😂😂😂😂

[@bbtyu9686]

John is like talking too 10 married woman

[@jameswhoever3730]

He cuts him off every couple seconds.

[@ghostmantagshome-er6pb]

He keeps interrupting.

[@kieranoneill6768]

John has a moment of pain on his face when he has to remind Theo of the word kaleidoscope

[@marcojaimes3702]

Damn you. Now I can’t unsee it lol

[@unrealnews]

Whatever else was in this video has been overshadowed by that moment because of this comment.

[@adamredden2007]

Imagine how painful it was to realize Theo Von is deeper than he is.

[@rick-db1wr]

@@adamredden2007 on your deepness scale?

[@asapmoses1565]

That hand motion was messing with me

[@alexkoefman]

I feel high listening to this story: completely incoherent and confused

[@jbone1982wi]

Lmao off the baby changing station!

[@nicholasmorello6370]

Did they make the film joe dirt based on this guy? Seems a good fit

[@bobcabot]

"undercover" John: good one! ( he is talking to you...

[@Teenywing]

‘Ai tried to give ‘er a schmooooch….” 😂😂😂♥️

[@chattycathydoll]

"everything kinda lined up..."

[@jedahn]

Dude is a walking cocaine story.

[@worldpeaceplease4938]

Who else wishes that we had that recording of the interview that morning after the cab incident

[@thismothafuckasaid7304]

"North Harlem"?!...Haha, love Theo purposely still saying it 7 years later. Even after him & Diaz talked about no such place existing and it's actually Washington Heights or Inwood

[@theworkethic]

😂 no such place exists

[@LuxuryBeatsMusic]

I thought he was living out “here” in LA but they were driving a NY yellow cab? Damn!!! That’s a far drive!!! 😂😂😂

[@jwj8201]

Somebody better come cover this guy up!

[@dyingangelo]

i remember lee's reaction. lmao

[@nicholashardick5959]

Let him tell the story Mulaney

[@kathrinsides2838]

Wowza, man. I have never had an issue with drugs or anything like that, but I completely understand what you guys are talking about, and I am totally surprised that I completely understand it. I have existed on both edges of the blade, but I’ve never had any issues with substances. And yet…I get it…and I really appreciate that you guys posted this.

[@joe56984]

Is there footage of Theo’s interview where he was coked out of his mind?

[@John-eo4zm]

This bro is a muppet.

[@user-yr9di3jv2l]

Minutes of fun, hours of agony

[@jessemontano762]

theo is the only one out of all these newer comedians,if u can call them comedians that i can actually stand to listen to...

[@gypsonny2]

With respect to Theo, hes not a coke head. He hasnt done enough coke to be a coke head. It took me 10 years to quit. I wish I was as wise as Theo and quit early

[@tennishill177]

lol, i didnt even the finish the video. John kept interrupting too much

[@ShanePalmer-666]

Been going hard lately 3 day bender sleep for a day repeat

[@adamredden2007]

In this clip, everyone discovers that Theo Von is far more introspective than John Mulvaney.

[@WROJ]

Tbh I hope that isn’t true but it totally makes sense seemingly that theos went thru some sh

[@trippy9320]

no need to compare

[@Oceaninmyshades]

Mulaney needs to work on not cutting people off. He would not let Theo finish one sentence.

[@OkieCoinHunter]

This title is such click bait. I wanted a story not an interview. Let the man talk

[@CatFighterForce9]

bruh lmao

[@Snakeman612]

Thats a scary Coke story???

[@toplistcrew7645]

The driver could tell he was wasted haha he wanted to party!

[@NunYa953]

All of us heavy cocaine users can not only relate, but have a handful of stories at least this crazy.

[@yonasegeleta9833]

Woulda thought John would know this story. Most my friends aren’t that big into theo but have seen that Comedy Central set

[@roscoemuttley]

Strawberry had to know Theo was messed up.

[@uno1industries]

2:42 runnin’ on neck thoughts

[@brianmcdowell6066]

I can never tell if it’s a work or a shoot with Theo

[@johndailey2323]

I seem over covered- hahaha

[@jeffmccloud905]

saw Mulaney in Honolulu about a month ago. hilarious

[@redwood1133]

Daryle strawberry has done your weight in coke.

[@murky16]

1:04 I couldn’t imagine being an addict as John Mulaney. He has the most innocent non drug user look about him😂 so yea he’s probably had people think he was an undercover lots of times

[@NorthernSouthside]

😂😂😂 done some thangs in bathrooms, gotta be quick tho😂😂😂

[@rodkavanagh8525]

Strawberry for sure knew. Do a show where you ask him.

[@leemori90]

On one this interviewer is really good comprehending and putting into perspective what Theo is saying and replying with explanations or examples that perfectly depict what Theo is trying to say, but on the other hand he interrupts way too often while you’retrying to hear Theo tell his story. He should reduce the amount of unnecessary interruptions and instead speak out less often but to points that are more entertaining to listen to as a viewer. As a viewer personally I’m trying to keep up with the story and now the branching off of other stories and becomes frustrating as fuck!

[@elnino2761]

Guys trying to tell a story about coke and hookers and the other guy is more interested in the front seat of a taxi????

[@adrianmatarazzo691]

Classic podcast. When the interviewer keeps cutting the guest off.

[@vastexpanse8521]

Guarantee Daryl knew…no doubt, would bet the house.

[@TonyFrickey-ur9jy]

Two brilliant of comedians being honest men.

[@johnsellas4455]

The baby changing station

[@nmap-p-]

Interviewer interrupting the stiry is so annoying

[@richboyprado]

Theo Von needs to start telling a new Cocaine story

[@xxArsen1xx-OnPsn]

Literally nobody ever has ever cut blow with that style of razorblade. Ever.

[@nickl6715]

Definitely not twice…

[@xxArsen1xx-OnPsn]

@nickl6715 desperate times and measures i suppose, did they at least heal well? Vit e helps. 😬🫡😂

[@keircampbell9374]

I have

[@havardpedersen1138]

Ever heard about a thing called duct tape?

[@JB-dm5gm]

Damn thats what i need bruh

[@Smokeyjoedamanedamythdalegend]

Coke is the one drug I never had a problem with. I tried it and I loved it but it’s like weed for me the high just gradually went away. I didn’t care if I did more, I’d like to but if I couldn’t I didn’t care. My best friend started selling it, he’d ask me to come over just to play video games and give me free lines of pure Coke. He legit told me he cut the first couple bags he gave me till he knew I could handle it and then it was all uncut. Still didn’t care. It made me feel like a hair metal rockstar when I did a bump. Like just the most badass leather jacket biker in the bar. Even tho it’s 7am and I’m doing a line off my homies phone while driving him to the methadone clinic while he holds the wheel and I’m face down doing 50. Great fucking times honestly and if white powder fentanyl didn’t look like coke I’d still do it. Coke was awesome it was like having a beer but hell I got more addicted to beer than uncut beautiful Coke. I miss it dearly ain’t done none in years god knows how many, I did meth few months ago coke just too hard to find in the south Edit: my best friend started injecting and switched to smoking crack to save his veins. He always went above and beyond with drugs and I more or less dipped my toes and did free coke and went home to smoke weed and drink. He probably stayed up doing coke god knows how easy it is to get addicted with it in your face everyday while your doing it

[@richardc3693]

He looks exactly like billy MacFarlane

[@chuckironsight3914]

i did cocaine , .5 g , every single day for 3 years straight because i could get it from my boss every shift start....i left that job and never even thought about wanting coke ever agian...i feel like i am very lucky i didnt get addicted. whats weird is i smoked pot every day for years after that and when i quit that i got so damn sick, only reason i got sick was because i was so busy at work i forgot about smoking weed, i havent smoked since

[@sarcasmo57]

It's a hell of a drug.

[@user-gi8gf8pg2r]

A sting? Cab drivers and bar tenders are the go to if you not home

[@TS-id2hi]

“welcome to Rome” 😭😭😭

[@outcold2696]

Let the man tell his story dude!

[@HARRY__Pecker]

You guys make everyone famous 😂😂😂

[@johnflamm1327]

Theo's all Gacked up!

[@NighttLevi]

Man I thought that was drake bell 😂😂

[@cenoviopereira8603]

That emoticon looks more like crack

[@Esteem_Boat_Willy]

I went for a night shift ride with our regular cabbie, while in Army AIT Ft. Sam Houston. Downtown San Antonio. Wild night. He let me drink while he drove. I smoked weed with him and a hooker. Like Taxi Cab confessions, but live. It was awesome.

[@dildoshwagins2222]

This is literally a normal day to me doing blow with my old teacher driving Lyft doing it with my waitresses getting them railed when your both ugly but zoomed asf

[@Zzrdemon6633]

I've known a bunch of coke heads over the years and not a single one ever used the full word cocaine once!

[@bobhope4949]

One time me and my friend went out to the bar with his sister his cousin and some other girl, we ended up scoring a g and splits it, go to another bar and when I come out from the pisser some dudes got us blocked in…… turns out it othergirls ex boyfriend, dude tries to run us off the road, girls call the cops, we trunk the rest of the blow, my friends just chit chatting the cop while high out of his skull, I’m sitting in the car thinking, dude…….. get back in the car before we get in trouble lol🤦🏻‍♂️

[@elarr8733]

Holy shit, let the host tell the story. Wait. What?

[@ARTIST.EVEREST]

A smooch 😅

[@CreepyStalker66]

The guy who keeps cutting Theo off is pissing me off. I dont always feel that way if that happens but fuck, I wanted to hear the story

[@johnjohns440]

1000 dollar cab ride

[@user-bq7iy7bt9v]

You know he was doing coke WITH Andy Cohen in the bathroom lmfao. Not just in separate stalls.

[@dirkdiggler1895]

He sounds like jeselnik