How the Secure Attachment Apologizes: A Script to Use for Apologizing to Others

[@toninatoli]

"This is what secure people do......they hold space for the other person." Beautiful. Not fixing or leaving or dismissing.....hold space for each person to know the other fully. 💖

[@superwaxx]

These YT videos have been so good that I signed up for the membership and the personal development school is well worth the investment.

[@jordanlevitt1638]

"When ____ happened, I can see how my behaviour made you feel ____. If I were you in your position, I probably would've felt the same thing, it's completely understandable and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way." "I see when you ______, you must've been really _____ and maybe even _____ and I can see how if I were in your situation I would feel that way as well. I also want to let you know that that behaviour is not ever acceptable for me, so what can you do to work on that or work through that?" "Even though that experience happened, I want to let you know that when you _____, I experienced _____ and what I need next time is for you to know that sometimes if I _____ then I'm just _____ and I need to _____. So if you can try to be mindful of that, I can try to be mindful of at least communicating something to you like "____". So I can be mindful of your wounds and needs, and you can be mindful of my wounds and needs as well."

[@hshfyugaewfjkKS]

Thais so crazy helpful. Thank you so much. As an anxious attacher who grew up with domestic violence and screaming, the very moment a conflict starts I literally can't think. My brain shuts down in fear and I can't figure out what to say. These scripts are enormously helpful!! You're a light in this world. :)

[@IanRoyball128]

Good morning. Wishing y'all an awesome day. I really enjoy your programs. It's a fresh approach towards human interactions. Good stuff. I hope your school gets the funding needed for future advancement. 🙏 all the best, my friend ☮️

[@thehapagirl92]

What if people say that I expect things when we’re not yet dating? I expect respect whether I just met someone or have known them for years. On the 1st three dates I ask for that and I give it myself. This isn’t too soon is it? The problem is that some partners don’t want to work through things and some partners are shitty and don’t take accountability. I think people who watch this channel own their part. It’s the partner who doesn’t do anything. I am always apologizing, which isn’t fair.

[@skwerl81]

She says in the video to feel empowered and clear to leave these types of relationships. You shouldn't be apologizing all the time. If you feel compelled to stay, I would dig into why that is

[@TadYoelLeBlanc]

Respect, as long you know what that means to you and you communicate it clearly to the other person, is always acceptable.

[@MarcillaSmith]

3:55 Whoever it is in that "very long term relationship" with this lady is truly fortunate indeed! Can you imagine having a lover who is so knowledgeable about what makes for a good relationship dynamic? Who is obviously so generous to others as one who shares so much information so regularly? As I believe she has said she is FA, that makes it part of her love language, so not just generous, but also so loving. Of course, not that I notice such superficial things, but she's so very pretty! That doesn't really matter, of course, but since she says touch is also so important as an FA, it's always nice when sharing physical affections with someone and they happen to be so physically blessed :: blush ::

[@youbiscuit2146]

wtf

[@MarcillaSmith]

@@youbiscuit2146 she offers a lot to the world. She deserves to feel appreciated

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for your kind comment!

[@helenaaugusta9027]

Which video when she said that FA requires physical touch? I wanna see it 👀

[@TadYoelLeBlanc]

Who you admire says a lot about you. Your mind set, and where you want to go. Good on everyone for being here and wanting to be better people. But yes, this lady is awesome.

[@jennifer9528]

@Thais Gibson *Video suggestion!* What does a genuine apology look like coming from a Dismissive Avoidant? Or even a Fearful Avoidant? Are they the same or different than an apology coming from a Secure attachment style? How does a Dismissive Avoidant apologize?

[@toninatoli]

One of your best, Thais.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks for the wonderful comment Toni - PDS team member

[@arich20]

When she set the boundary about raised voice being unacceptable 🤯🤯🤯 You can DO THAT???? 🤦🤦🤦

[@vmtietz]

This was so helpful today. Thank you!!

[@ilsedevilliers8334]

Thank you for being so kind.

[@IanRoyball128]

Thanks!

[@sozohealthandfitness]

So good! I appreciate your videos...thank you!

[@AudreyLynn17]

Your videos are invaluable! Thank you Thais.

[@tulip5210]

Thank you this is really helpful!

[@ali52952]

What attachment style is the person who never ever apologize?

[@SHAYBR33]

Avoidants

[@kayaxe]

Can I have this conversation with a female DA ex? Thank you.

[@soldatka]

Can I have conversation with male FA? Thanks.

[@alexaaa87]

@ Personal Development School - Thais Gibson I really love your input, it is helping me and my friends and family a lot, but as a non-native speaker and allthough my english is quite well plus using subtitles, I am having a really hard time following you, since you speak really fast... I know it is probably a lot to ask for, but do you think it is possible to speak a little slower? That would be so helpful! Thank you so much for everything you do and all the best from Austria!

[@lisabeaumont]

Hi, I sometimes have the same problem with Ben Shapiro videos, even though I’m fully native! :D The solution is to put the video speed down to x0.75 - you can do that for any KZbin video. :)

[@lisabeaumont]

Click the 3 dots top right and go to playback speed.

[@IanRoyball128]

❤️

[@MrItsamber7]

It’s the swallowing for me 🙉🥴. Good topic other than that