THIS Is What Anxious Attachment Women Want You to Know!

[@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g]

This makes a lot of sense. My ex was an AP and she was so focused on me despite me trying to get her to focus on herself more. She also didn't take my words of affirmation seriously, which caused me to want to use them less. Unfortunately, she became so hypersensitive to everything I did (I now know it was her abandonment wounds activating) it just EXHAUSTED me to a point where the relationship was no longer worth investing in.

[@alexisb.8965]

Omg, yes. I KNOW I'm being clingy and I hate it, but it's like I can't help it. I always try to figure out what the minimum I need to feel "safe" in the moment and even when it was as simple as a kiss on the forehead ...I've been made to feel like that was even too much.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I'm sorry you were meant to feel that way

[@pure-pisces9980]

Same!...Ohhh noooo can't ask for to much can we (To feel safe/Loved )....Shouldnt have to ask in the first place!!! 😢

[@pure-pisces9980]

THANKYOU Thais!!🙏 At last!....The message/video...Re - The AP..... to be Understood/Seen... we are not "Pushovers/People Pleasers"...our hearts are HUGE & in many cases.... YES Trauma & have been extremely Hurt/ broken!......Yet why not nurture/love/appreciate...Instead of walking all over & breaking it even more!! Excruciating!! 😢

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I am glad you liked this one so much :)

[@insiderbe1981]

I confirm everything you said also applies to AP men

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@notsoanonymous686]

I’m realizing that I’m more secure than I’ve ever been (thank you, PDS!). I’m seeing my partner’s anxious attachment… while that has been my tendency in the past, I’m seeing her needs. I’m trying to meet her needs (especially knowing what I wanted) and seeing her. She has lightened a bit, but she still needs - I’m learning, my boundaries are being crossed: I’m giving up too much of my own self (and time) to appease her. I’m struggling to find the balance… this has been helpful, and at least I know I’m trying to meet the needs you’ve outlined. (I am exhausted still.) thank you for posting, it helps knowing.

[@terrancerockwell332]

Anxious for men is the only one I haven’t seen you do. Please post something on this.

[@MsPandaDoll]

@thepersonaldevelopmentschool Thais would you mind giving us an insight on what insecure attachment styles are more or less introvert/extrovert and how to differentiate attachment style from personality or is there a connection between. Thank you!

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Girl this was me spot on. ❤❤❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@LaurensLifePhotoJournal]

Thank you again Thais. I feel supported by this video. Learning about IAT has been eye opening and a crucial part of my emotional healing in this life. Your videos keep getting deeper and better. I appreciate the work you put into expanding your knowledge and thus our knowledge of ourselves and each other.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

You are very welcome! So nice to read this :)

[@udaniirunika1037]

You are literally saving me . Thank you so much ❤🙏

[@Jamy528]

Yes 💜

[@WahkeenaSitka]

I have a suggestion for you Thais. I've watched countless videos of yours on youtube over the last 3 years, ever since I found your channel in 2020. Admittedly, after listening to countless videos, the message does get a bit redundant, and I think the question for you is how to make the content fresh, interesting and relevant, and not keep saying the same redundant message. One idea is to use the inspiration of Crappy Childhood Fairy and invite listeners / watchers to share their own personal story, and for you to analyze people's stories and personal experience, offering an attachment theory lens from which to view it from. And using personal / direct experience from which to analyze insecure attachment styles. Might be really interesting.

[@roshalllambert]

That were all valuable points! great to learn about other attachment styles!

[@evaantonsen1974]

Will there be a video on This is what dismissive avoidant women wants you to know? I’d love one. I’m DA and would love for my partner to see a video of that theme.

[@sukitha001]

Can you do a video on anxiously attached men? Please

[@laureenquattrini7160]

Very true. I found myself people pleasing recently with an avoidant. It actually sickened me 😂

[@michellericher9289]

I was going to send this to my BF but not a fan of the pop in ad. Sad 😞

[@sadiqua7]

My last relationship had zero words of affirmation until after he deactivated and we met up. This plus him not making me feel prioritized pushed me anxious. I never got to try to talk to him about things because he avoided at all costs. If anything he was vocal about other women’s looks and would stare to long the few times we were out in public. So yeah.. I pretty much felt unsafe and insecure. The one time he complimented my body over text then later that night in person my nails, I literally didn’t know how to react, it was so foreign to me. I think I brushed it off. To much fawning makes me uncomfortable but I would love a guy that made me feel like he only had eyes for me

[@careitina1412]

Staring for too long right in your face at other women and commenting on their looks was somehing I will never understand.That happened to me also and I can t steel comprehend how someone be that rude) All that happening right in the middle of our honeymoon phase!

[@rachhhh9722]

The not a bottomless pit thing is something i think is important for others to know and that if you reassure them it will actually lead to them being less clingy . I had a talk with my ex and he said that his problem was me needing him to tell me that he loves me every 2 seconds , when he barely said it unless i did first and not at all for the first year or 2 . I would have been happy with hearing once a month even. If i got reassurance and words of affirmation just occasionally it would have made a huge difference .

[@truthsmiles]

One small comment about #5. I’m a (male) AP, and I once asked my DA partner to send me a selfie. To her credit, she sent it. But, when she noticed I found it reassuring, she then sent me a selfie EVERY DAY at the exact same time in the exact same pose, no matter what. Whether we hadn’t talked at all or even in the middle of a fight. It was SO consistent it felt like she had an alarm set on her phone to just send me a selfie. For me, that completely took away any meaning it had. I wanted it to be because she was thinking of me, not because her alarm went off. So yes, consistency is important, but I don’t want to be a “job” you have to do either. PS - That relationship ended (she dumped me as I was too much work), and now I’m seeing a fellow AP, which is _amazing_ because we both understand each other so well.

[@LaurensLifePhotoJournal]

My DA did the same thing. He was working hard to please me by texting me when he got home in the middle of the night from work. At first, I had asked only because it was winter and icy roads. He was so apologetic when he left his phone one day at work and couldn’t text me. I told him it wasn’t important. Now looking back I can see it was hard work for him. Yes he dumped me. He felt he couldn’t meet my needs. I had cancer and then depression and he was overwhelmed. I love him still. I wish he could see this whole thing differently.

[@truthsmiles]

@@LaurensLifePhotoJournal Wow such a similar story for me... I got depressed and overwhelmed (no cancer though), and now I think it was at least in part because I was so emotionally neglected for years. Even so, I was DEVASTATED when she broke it off with me. She made it worse by breadcrumbing me for months until I finally somehow cut it off. Today, I have to say it's incredibly refreshing to be dating another AP... we constantly reassure each other, almost automatically. Yes, her insecurity can occasionally be a bit annoying for a few seconds until I remember I'm just like her and all I need to do is address her abandonment fears... a simple text like, "You are so sexy and I can't wait to get my hands on you later!" or "You've been on my mind all day!" goes MILES. Of course, as an AP I need to stay aware that subconsciously I don't think I deserve all the attention and reassurance from her, so it's vitally important that we both identify and affirm our own needs regularly. Best of luck to you. You WILL come out of this better and stronger. One of my favorite quotes someone said to me: "Just remember, you lost someone who didn't want you, but they lost someone who would do absolutely anything for them. Tell me whose loss that really is."

[@Katrica670]

@5:23 wait how is that unique? I am pretty sure that others have both ir either as a love language. Btw, isnt'y DA's that love physical touch, but moreso sex?

[@HH-pj5bl]

This is such a great share as usual. Key phrases is consistency, I've noticed the more avoidant people lack consistency, they will give some reassurance, then their own trapped wound kicks in and the retract and so there isn't consistency. Both parties need to work on their wounds but coming together and being understanding of each other and their wounds is key to a beautiful, healthy and secure relationship Thank you for he shar and love you thais❤

[@timelordthefirst4835]

My ex AP would ring me if i didn't put the correct goodnight message. Also point out to me if i hadn't put a lot of x's in my messages etc.

[@superdupeninja8149]

Are you going to go over what the anxious man wants?

[@kemo112205]

Wish I saw this a few months ago, now its too late....

[@dentrout9383]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@SuperMar10GalaxyBro]

❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤❤

[@nelacivic1950]

Just treat everyone as a dismissive avoidant 😂😂😂