Lakshmi Rengarajan - Removing the Consumer Mindset from Dating | Prof G Conversations

Lakshmi Rengarajan, a leading researcher on dating and the host of the Later Dater Today podcast, joins Scott to discuss the trends around dating for both old and young people, the importance of “striving,” and how dating apps bring out the worst side of us when it comes to finding potential partners.
Timestamps:
00:00 In this episode
00:53 How did you end up researching modern relationships?
04:12 Is there an imbalance in the dating market?
09:24 Do men need to step up? Should women lower standards?
15:45 With loneliness and unhappiness is on the rise, where do we go from here?
19:03 Are women gravitating toward richer and older men?
20:41 Who is the “Later Dater” and what challenges do they face?
23:04 What specific advice do you offer to Gen X daters?
24:06 How is dating technology hitting Later Daters?
25:49 How has LGBTQ+ dating changed?
26:24 Artificial Intelligence and dating
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#dating #relationships #love #datingapps #loneliness #happiness #rationality #LaterDater #GenZ #GenX #AI #AIdating #profg #scottgalloway #profgconversations #LakshmiRengarajan

[@MrFuckinglogin]

almost felt like prof G is more verse in this topic than an expert that was invited for the podcast

[@robertwalkley4665]

I felt Scott was being honest and frank, and Lakshmi wasn't even being honest with herself.

[@foyrojkabir9138]

100%, her comments felt to me very generic and trying to gloss over some of the “controversial” bullets Scott brought up.

[@tvm73836]

As a woman I am galled by your views that the guy is always the one who is straight and honest. My takeaway was the exact opposite

[@robertwalkley4665]

@@tvm73836 You're completely generalising. I was commenting on what I saw from them as individuals and what they were saying. Don't project your hatred onto me.

[@tvm73836]

@@robertwalkley4665 Typical response from a guy! Just try to shut the woman up and that solves all the world's problems.

[@robertwalkley4665]

I'm being specific and individual, you're generalising. Take for example at 19:00, when she says "people", but Scott corrects her and says "women", and then Lakshmi does confess she's talking about women. Scott was being a straight shooter, and while it was a nice conversation overall, she was not at times.@@tvm73836 Then she goes onto describing how women are attracted to men's "philosophy of money", not the money itself. Come on, seriously.

[@masonm600]

19:18 yall noticed that academic and online types are becoming reluctant to say "men" and "women" but are more often saying "people"? Prof G called her out on it: "Let's be specific, I not saying people [in general], I'm saying women." I'm moderate to conservative, and I find myself doing it too.

[@yaphet831]

She acknowledged it but quickly went back to saying people further in the conversation. It is important because you have different challeges and perspectives that need to be addressed. It is not good to say GenX Or Gen(?) without specifying who you're talking about.

[@user-qm8by7sh6m]

I’m not conservative but I definitely agree with you on this. This is an issue we need to address. Most men are really struggling and we need to have more empathy for them.

[@baffinsansterre]

@@user-qm8by7sh6m Wont happen, men are second class citizen. Especially for academics.

[@MarkoD-kd1gy]

Although I enjoyed the podcast, she did not want to accept the reality of how women are viewing men through an unhealthy, consumeristic & with little sense of reality lens. At point, when challenged by Scott, she stated , " When I said people, I meant women ". Then why didn't you say "women" in the first place.

[@karlstrauss2330]

Shes a boss babe who lives in NYC, what else do you expect?

[@mbg9650]

Most marriages are transactional. This explains the high divorce rate.

[@offthetrail5675]

My wife/partner of 18 years originally turned down all my advances because I was too short. I finally won her over with charm and other qualities. We would have never met on a dating site. We also likely wouldn't have connected in todays culture of "me too" etc, as I had to try to woo her several times before she gave me a chance. I feel blesses I'm not navigating todays dating world.

[@ralphfraz]

Not to be a negative buzzkill, but did it ever feel to you like perhaps she never actually really desired you and only settled on you because the men she ACTUALLY wanted never approached her? The idea of pursuing someone who isn't initially interested and convincing them to give you a chance sounds like negotiating with someone who's holding out for a better offer

[@-Gramps]

I’m 69, married for 50 yrs. Scott’s comment about my generation being characterized by one person pursuing the other initially, getting to know each other well, & actually falling in love (& lust) is spot on. We put ourselves through college- both working in a hospital, then finished with a RN & MD. College was cheap then- about $187/semester + books & apartment. We were poor, but too busy to realize it, because our married classmates were the same. 50 yrs later, we continue to enjoy new interests & knowledge, both individually & together. The “secret,” IMHO, is to always discover new common interests, while treasuring past experiences together. The “app dating culture “ is something we’re observing with grandchildren, so I appreciate the perspectives offered in this interview. BTW, she is the MD, I’m a pediatric nurse practitioner.

[@mbg9650]

There is a new book about dating. Here's a hint: successful men are crushing it, thanks to SM, they date like a hot chick in her 20's. The older book, no longer work.

[@asterik917]

I really tried to give this lady a chance and listen to her talk but she sounds really out of touch with todays sexual marketplace. She doesn’t sound like she’s talk to very many young men in their 20s and 30s. She seems to be trying to paint a less damning picture of women’s standards today. Whether what they say sounds adversarial or not, the truth is that unless they’re rich or a Brad Pitt replica they don’t exist to most women. It’s great that women have made all these advances of the last couple of decades, but the issue at hand is that their standards for what an acceptable mate is to them hasn’t. And it’s essentially turned the dating market into a playground for rich older men, & a hellscape for everyone else. Prof G is correct, nobody is nor should tell women to lower their standards, but what they should absolutely tell them is that they should manage their expectations of their ability to find a mate based of the standards they set for a potential mate. People need to start telling the truth, before our population decline starts to look a lot more like south Korea and Japan.

[@autohelix]

Will not happen in American, because of Immigration. My Wife and I have been together for 12 years no kids. Can not afford it we both need to work. There is no way on Earth we could pay for daycare.

[@asterik917]

@@autohelix it will eventually happen, just not as fast as other countries due to our immigration policies. Our birth rates are already in the shitter, the only reason we haven’t fallen off a cliff like the rest of the western countries is because of that but short of completely opening the boarders we’re still on the decline.

[@shehanigans]

I really liked your perspective on this - the part about not changing standards but about managing expectations of said standards. It’s a better way of explaining the circumstances/issue. 👏🏾

[@karlstrauss2330]

I disagree. Women should absolutely lower their standards. The corporate accountant who played football in high school, is 5’11 and graduated from the University of Nebraska is a great catch by any reasonable standard.

[@ReGZ0089]

What strikes me about this conversation is how both Scott and Lakshmi are basically talking on two different levels. Scott is coming from more of a 1000 foot view, heavily quantitative and Lakshmi is more responding with what has been observed in interactions and near experimental type environments. It bring a lot of different kinds of observations to the table but with mixed results.

[@Merelytemporal]

Lakshmi needs to distinguish the attributes necessary to begin the race vs resources necessary to reach the finish line. Height in a man is an attribute which in the mind of many women (despite the percentage who say otherwise out of cognitive dissonance) is a prerequisite for beginning the race. Sure women like men who strive. But many women won’t get to know such a man unless he has height or unless he already achieves fantastic wealth (think Berlusconi, who was a short stature guy)

[@rocketman1058]

Well.... Scott basically interviewed Scott as the guest tried hard to appear smart but failed cos of talking information assuming to be facts, but actually telling her wishes. Lakshmi's entire narrative is based on her opinions, not data, she has no freaking background DATA!!!, so she's not helping anyone, Lakshmi reaffirming some opinions for certain people. Thankfully, Scott had meaningful things to share which saved the stream from being a complete waste of time. 👍🏻 Lakshmi should go back to bartending, until what she shays comes from real life data, then her opinions could have meaning. Like talking about AI, she just projected her wishes... and actually Lakshmi has no idea about the real implications of the AI on single people. This could be tragic when people like her is pretending to be an expert...

[@ezyryder11]

Seemed like these two were talking past each other. Lakshmi stayed in the realm of stated preferences she heard from people at her in-person events, while Scott was more interested in the less pleasant revealed preferences - shallower preferences that we don’t want to admit to ourselves or people we meet at singles events. Just my read on it.

[@iancoleman5555]

Hard to take a researcher seriously when they have no quantitative background or qualification, even when they're doing qualitative research

[@minabotieso6944]

Saying people like this or that random topic under these hard to quantify circumstances is not very qualitative

[@CloudStrife-ze2sh]

Yeah, this was my biggest frustration with this episode as well. The guest doesn't come from academia or a data background, now that's fine but she should at least bring a strong roster of studies/data/game theory into the conversation beyond anecdotal "what I'm hearing from men/women is...." She doesn't need to do the studies but should be on top of every single journal and industry article in this vertical. If Lakshmi is going to claim expertise at least act like an expert, this episode felt like Scott knew more than she did which should not happen. I left the episode frustrated.

[@jaystockwell3148]

She fails to realize the difference between anecdotal and statistical data. How you "feel" about something has no value statistically.

[@simonholliday3421]

Edit - I made it half way on my first attempt before giving up, she's aspirational but not realistic and repeatedly misframed Scott, at times explicitly. But I came back for a second attempt :) Good convo, constructive if frustrating

[@samschwartz145]

Scott is more of an expert on this than even she - kind of funny he's a marketing professor/entrepreneur and this is her livelihood

[@R1pTheJacka]

Women care more about a man's "philosophy with money"? I find that extremely hard to believe. The first thing they want to know about you is what do you DO. I guarantee most women are hearing your occupation and searching for the salary of said occupation in her area at some point in the courting phase. You can find countless videos of women online parroting that they need their man to make at least 6 figures. It's not sexy to hear a man makes 50k but goes thrift shopping and uses coupons. "What does he DO? Can this mf facilitate a dream" - Chris Rock, Tambourine

[@nsiebenmor]

Women with substance like to go thrift shopping and are attracted to guys that do. Being rich is a philosophy more than how much money you make after your basic needs are met.

[@sofiadurao312]

Doc Scott, as a 51 year old Portuguese woman, i love how you absolutely get it. You are 100% correct on the height thing, its with shame I say it, but I could not go out with a shorter man then me. And I am from a country of small people, so it was funny for me! Also would like to say, you are much better to women and accurate for their reality then the lady you were talking to here. First she doesnt really listen to you and second, throughout history there were ALWAYS women that knew their potencial and acted on it! Freya Stark and Gertrude Bell are just 2 examples. Unfortunately it seems like a lot is lost in the history on Humankind regarding people like them. I was brought up by an Army officer that is a big champion of women, so to me he always said I could do anything, regardless of gender, just had to do it well. And in his profissional journey, he used the resources available to create schools where girls could go, because like he says, education is what frees women and they can then use their enormous potential for improving the world and be role models. Its so sad that all this openness and quasi libertarian world as actually taken us to lonely females and frustrated depressed males. Males and females work better together. Technology should be a tool to connect, not to replace it. Thank you for all your efforts, you rock Prof G!!!

[@mady11995]

It seemed as if she's trying to protect the image of women, instead of discussing the mistakes both the sides are making

[@DingoAteMeBaby]

I wish someone had told me how important it would be into my 20s to have a local mixed gender group, given how hard it is for men to build social connections. I went to school far away (where yes, I met and befriended many people of both genders) and returned home only to have minimal friends (close friends, but only dudes). I'm not a introvert at a party and talk to strangers regularly, but it takes so much energy to put things together organizationally. I hope by the time I have kids there are is at least some institutions, 3rd spaces, or tools, that can help people in adult life like myself better connect with large social circles. While I know part of it has to do with my own lack of just 'getting out there'... I also feel like I was infinitely better off in school where there were systems in place for young people of a similar age to meet, not just based on interests, as it is in adult life. Especially in a major city with high incomes, I feel like the majority of people on the street are 33.

[@colinh9294]

I'm 33, and I always tell my friends (all of them are +/- 5 yrs) in the future most of the population will die alone. It's really sad. Most have college degrees, and we all live in DC or NYC, and most are single.

[@baffinsansterre]

It will be a loooooong life alone.

[@autohelix]

I have no problems saying it women do need to lower their standards. Look if more women are getting great jobs less men are going to have those job. If a woman is making great money why does she need a man with a great job? If he makes 40k, and you make 100k. Guess what now you have a household income of 140k. I have been with my wife for 12 years.

[@AEKerr]

This was a great discussion that shows the reality is quite/very different from the male & female prospective & the impact a evolving society has on it.

[@ahopefiend1867]

When women say they MIGHT date someone shorter than them but they NEVER actually do that why does it matter what they say? Same for income levels.

[@Merelytemporal]

AI as a replacement for a matchmaker / arranged marriage scenario is far more interesting than AI photos or AI partners from the perspective of what’s next in dating.

[@jogb9515]

Scott why do you always bring up lonely men and their ai sex dolls + video games, but not solitary women and their high performance sex toys? I've known a few and it's pretty amazing how much time and emotion they can invest in their electronic partners. Vibrator + cat is the new boyfriend.

[@kjaxsn]

new boyfriend, but still lonely af.

[@proxcess4946]

I think the reason he brings it up men more is because of two things: 1. As he mentioned in the video women are typically more mentally resilient, so in that situation they’re less likely to become depressed etc. 2. If men fall into that trap they can become violent and lash out. Thats less likely to happen with women. It’s still a valid point though and is an angle that’s missed in some of these talks.

[@fineway7053]

Scott doesn't want to offend his future cash cow demographic.

[@halojones1843]

I found this a fascinating conversation. Thank you both.

[@JonathanLoganPDX]

There are Four things that people need to do and figure out if they want to be successful and happy in dating and relationships. First, am I being the kind of person that the kind of person I want will want. If not then you're barking up the wrong tree. Second, what are the qualities I want in a partner, not the particular look or height or anything else but the qualities. So for example is this person kind, are they already happy, are they kind, are they smart, are they healthy, and do they have good relationships with both sexes? Third, do they have a vision for the kind of Life they want to lead. So for example do they want children, and if so, how many do they want to live in the city or the country, are they more interested in status or are they more interested in quality of life, are they more interested in money or are they more interested in experiences. These things really matter. Fourth, do they both believe in learning and growing and that life is a process of continually learning and growing and expanding, search that they're more interested in being positive mindset and growth oriented or are they more restrictive and conservative in their views of life.

[@harryschiller5368]

I don't think Lakshmi is very insightful for men, though I do hope she convinces women to approach dating less like shopping and more like searching for a person to share free moments with and strive together while rooting for each other.

[@aminromero8599]

She needs to understand that what people SAY and what people DO are often not the same thing.

[@Marsubleu]

Once again the power of marketing has wrecked another part of our society. As long as we continue allowing corporations to prey on our endorphins, we can't heal.

[@j.k.cascade2057]

There is one of the people in this conversation who is definitely approaching from the feminist perspective. She seems to be adept at seeing one side of the issue. Im about 2/3 through the conversation - Ill see if I change my take on this ...

[@obtain60]

The framing of this is all wrong. If you want people to date you have to ask what do BOTH parties want and then try to find the negotiation points and the broader script for how to provide what the other party wants. Its considered sexist to say women should ask what men want and then try to fulfill it. But without that side of the puzzle then where exactly is the incentive for men to enter a relationship?

[@s.flanders]

Scott made the point that men are less choosy. So yes, a good relationship needs to provide what both partners *need*, but Scott’s claim is that men tend to need/want less. Whereas the typical single woman might expect her man to be tall, funny, romantic, financially successful, fit, ambitious, charismatic, handy, etc., many men just want a woman who’s moderately attractive and not crazy. Most other things are negotiable. Does your experience contradict this?

[@daggerthree]

Amount of money trumps resourcefulness with money. Billionaire guy is far more attractive to more women than average joe resourceful guy who saves and spends well. Unless Lakshmi has research to prove otherwise I have a hard time believing her "resourcefulness" thesis.

[@CloudStrife-ze2sh]

I listen to all of Prof G interviews and this was one of the more frustrating ones. The problem is Lakshmi seems to mostly rely on anecdotal conversations and tries so hard to say normative platitudes that it comes off as bland - it reminded me of business school consultants who try to say something so inoffensive they end up saying word salad and nothing at all; I wish the conversation was more steeped in data but the guest isn't in academia doing research on this topic (which is fine, but very little data and studies were brought into the conversation). The best way to respond to Scott's thesis is to say something, "well Scott, the data and studies show X and Y" and we simply didn't get that here which was a missed opportunity. I'd love it if Scott brought in a guest steeped in the game theory, data/studies, and societal change of dating, this episode really missed the mark.

[@johny3406]

"money is not attractive its their philosophy of money thats attractive". What?

[@allanvodicka8352]

Lakshmi, I found your arguments very compelling, but please work on finishing every sentence as if it’s a question.

[@ReasonableHuman1]

good discussion

[@jamespardue3055]

Excellent discussion, and all salient points. I won't go into my situation other than to say I'm mid-sixties, and wasted a lot of time on relationships, partly because I'm slow on the uptake with women, and we did not have access to discussions like this 40 years ago.

[@stevechance150]

They talked about dating an AI. If you haven't seen the 2013 film "her" starring Scarlett Johansson and Joaquin Phoenix, it does an excellent job of portraying this type of relationship.

[@minabotieso6944]

The most cliche comment of all time

[@future62]

I think the issues around modern dating stem from general issues around modern socialization. Apps are trying to fill a void that only meeting in person can fill IMO. Stuff like men (relatively) falling behind is part of it, but the biggest driver IMO is men and women not meeting in person until some algorithm allows them to. I remember in my 20s moving to a big apartment building and literally just ringing all the doorbells on my floor. Made some friends and met some women that way. Do people still have those kinds of spontaneous connections these days? I'm 40 now

[@derosa1989]

I also lived in a building (a condo, where everyone was an owner, many over a long period of time) and had more social relationships with nice people. Now I also live in a very nice building, but that is rental, and some people don't even make eye contact in the elevator, or even say hello. People must see a difference, that short term places they live, and plan to move soon, why would they be bothered or invested in talking to people.

[@DingoAteMeBaby]

lol what

[@user-sw4yx6pd6p]

I have tried to ask girls I meet in public (grocery store, coffee shop, etc.) and they tend to give me a F off vibe. Or they are always on their headphones, scrolling on their phone, etc.

[@SP-wv4id]

wow... I did enjoy this topic but got the feeling that we were hearing from a feminist point of view of their dating experience. Thank god Scott push back on so much BS that she was spewling.

[@contracthit9839]

Galloway is a feminist and from the academic community

[@BongShlong]

A lot of feminists dislike the biological reality of sex differences in dating. It doesn't sound great and has historically been used to foster stereotypes but some realities cannot be denied

[@minabotieso6944]

When she brought up it being attractive to strive for big things in life it’s not true and was really not here nor there in the conversation. It doesn’t change anything. That’s something that is experiencing the same kind of change as money or looks. Men in the past who had no trouble with dating didn’t all have bigger life goals. I would guess people were less ambitious with their lives. You have to be ambitious now just to keep up.

[@KK-pm7ud]

Can't we all just agree that dating apps are suboptimal for society but are a function of the digital and social media landscape? Their business models are not aligned with the long term goals of the users overall and funnel them into a casual dating pill box. Some escape and find "love." But the result of these dating app business models is a crowding out of real world dating. As for people like Chris Williamson, it's dangerous to listen to him because he brings really smart people on his show only to spout his own unvetted hot takes on things where he co-opts interviewees into agreeing with them without much push back because the interviewee had no time to prepare and research said hot take.

[@user-sw4yx6pd6p]

Please ask Lakshmi if a 5'6" man being a teacher considered "Striving"?

[@autohelix]

I am glad I dont have to worry about this. I have a trash job, but a great wife of 12 years.

[@fastingman4726]

You're lucky bro. As a 29 year-old,man, dating women my age or a few years younger is fkn brutal.

[@derosa1989]

Lakshmi made some very insightful points. People really need to be thinking differently, not just accepting conventional beliefs about what is really important. I believe there is hope for better relationships if people really understand who they are, and what they really want, rather than looking for someone who is tall and rich, and a jerk.

[@minabotieso6944]

Well men aren’t looking for tall rich jerks

[@rocketman1058]

Lakshmi doesn't have any insightful points, unfortunately, any of her opinions is based on data. she couldn't reference any outside sources to back up any of her opinions... those are wishes...

[@baffinsansterre]

It will be interesting to experience how AI will replace intergender relationship. There's a very big TAM for sedating men, I mean lower 85% of men.

[@hwago123]

I don’t know what she was even getting at when she responded to Scott about the issue of women wanting to date for money. Seems like she was very much beating around the bush

[@domenicocusumano]

She had a very hard time saying people are doing anything wrong. Not only women but everyone needs to lower their standards

[@autohelix]

Yes they do for sure. I have been with my wife for 12 years.

[@jocosus3]

14:37 She can find a guy, she just can't find a guy she wants to date - #TruthBomb

[@eriksyring]

9: No. This pertains to a person looking for _one_ partner. But humans are not naturally like that, humans naturally have several concurrent partners.

[@MsHellion]

I loved Lakshmi's response, to what felt like the most patriarchal response of whining about how women don't want to date short men (when I've known plenty of short men who immediately do a "pass" on any woman who is their height or taller, unless of course, they're Nicole Kidman--which, valid, I suppose.) Lakshmi politely reframed how the good professor explained why women are at fault for why men can't find dates (as if they're entitled to them)--and he reverted back again about the poor short men of society. Honestly I think it was some of the other issues that the professor covered: lack of education, manners, hygiene, ability to do basic chores rather than rely on a woman to do them for you, et al. I'm with Lakshmi--women aren't getting taller. Women are finally getting a seat at the table and being recognized for things beyond household chores and domestic labor--and frankly most women are happier being single, getting the work and recognition, and not having to do domestic labor for two or more...and that's what men should focus on. Be a partner...not a millstone.

[@user-sw4yx6pd6p]

Women will not date men in the trades (carpenter, roofer, plumber, etc.)

[@orioninvesting4299]

The woman in this video keeps on trying to distract us. It's basically shopping for woman and the guy is committed in a lot of times building relationships.

[@adama9032]

This lady was beyond delusional an academe is full with this type.

[@brunoheggli2888]

What dating?Just order a wife online!

[@RoderickMacIver]

Scott, you make these people, both men and women, seem totally unattractive in terms of their focus on money and career and selfish wants. Yes, a substantial portion of the population is all wrapped up in that, but there are hundreds of subcultures in America focused on way more interesting things, living way more interesting lives. There are women Outward Bound instructors, women artists, women writing novels, women working homeless shelters and women working to protect wilderness. Many of the people who you talk about are living, and will live, unhappy shallow lives focused on selfish, meaningless things. When you go on a first date the most important questions revolve around subjects like what is the most interesting book you've read in the last year, and why. What are the last four books you've read? What interesting thing do you plan to do in the next year? Where do you get deep joy in life? Not what selfish wants do you have that you think for some reason, however vapid and shallow, will make your life worth living?

[@Merelytemporal]

Working in a homeless shelter or to protect the environment doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an interesting person and it also doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re actually moving the needle or even helping the cause you purport to care about through the work that you’re doing.

[@RoderickMacIver]

@@Merelytemporal I guess the question is what do you find interesting in the opposite sex. Money, how tall they are? Does that make them interesting? That's what Scott seems to be suggesting. I guess what I am saying is a wholehearted devotion to something larger than yourself. To serving others. To the accumulation of knowledge say like Rachel Carson. I remember an old friend, Alex Porter who ran the hedge fund Amici Partners. He was an interesting guy. He was way deeper though than a love of money. Scott has made a lot of money. He thinks people should be judged on how much money they have. I think that is shallow. Most people I've known, and there are exceptions like Alex was, but most people I've known who have made a lot of money are some combination of three things. (1) obsessed by status relative to their peers (2) not particularly happy. more insecure than happy and (3) not particularly fun or interesting to spend an evening with. On that third count, I imagine Scott is an exception. I imagine Rick Rubin is an exception. There are exceptions. This is not about black and white. But I can comfortably say that someone who is focused on money or height is not a woman I'd like to spend an evening with. Or a lifetime with.

[@RoderickMacIver]

So, since it is Friday night, and I've had a couple of glasses of wine, the things that matter in a human being -- kindness, integrity, creativity (imagination), open mindedness -- a desire to grow and learn, courage, character -- how someone acts and behaves during times of adversity, a thinker -- someone who thinks, who reads, who considers contrary opinions which led me to Scott's podcast here, grit, determination. That's who you want to spend time with.

[@eriksyring]

14: Again, women need to look for five partners.

[@catherinesalacuse3284]

I feel that we should stop comparing men to women … Women did it for years and now you bring up the same comparison but from men’s perspective … We always had strong men and less strong as well as strong women and more submissive women…. All my life I have witnessed in a couple, who was the strong & the sweet or softer one, and the fact was that it worked so well & it was not gender related…. But from the day women woke up or fought for recognition….back then…the whole idea took the wrong turn….women, gays, races, LGBT….etc… should have been a one and only fight…based on equality and respect of others…period…. Parents should raise up kids on respect & equal experience….and we are so far from that first step…. Even MeToo mothers didn’t show me yet that crucial first move with their own sons (boys)…all easy words….but age & experience do give us that skill..🇫🇷🇺🇸

[@user-sw4yx6pd6p]

Grindr has made more men cheat lol

[@Leonidas-nu3jp]

I'd rather die myself then change to be happy. I am me. If that's someone who can't survive in this society so be it.

[@Merelytemporal]

Very stubborn world view. I appreciate not wanting to reinvent yourself every second but you sound like someone who has nothing left to improve in yourself and nothing left to learn. If that’s your world view you would have difficulty finding interesting people who want to spend time talking to you

[@nsiebenmor]

Nature is not nice. That playful squirrel knows he could be taken by a bird of prey at any time. Why are humans any different? You have to compete and I will argue it's in your nature to do so.

[@Leonidas-nu3jp]

You dont compete in a game that is skewed to one side this way. So I'm choosing to not take part.

[@concretejungle9608]

We do not need AI, we need genetic engineering so there are could be some physically attractive men to be found in places like New York without me having to move to northern Europe for that

[@mike8677]

It’s not just men. It’s American men AND women. Those folks are the ones with lowest intellectual and physical standard for themselves but a lot for others.

[@pldevries]

Prof G should stick to topics where he has some real expertise or insight. This conversation is garbage.

[@maniac50ae14]

Ive said the same thing

[@JonathanLoganPDX]

Why because you don't like it? It's actually Central to the topics that he knows a lot about. You must not listen to much of his stuff.

[@pldevries]

The guy is a professor at a business school whose expertise is branding. He is not an expert on human relationships. He's expertise on dating or relationships is not greater than an random person.@@JonathanLoganPDX

[@fineway7053]

@@JonathanLoganPDX The man is literally the worst person to take advice from when it comes to finding love and engaging in relationships.

[@JonathanLoganPDX]

@@fineway7053 Really? How so, specifically?

[@SP-wv4id]

I love how they keep saying that women have made strides for the past 30 years but not address that it has come at a opportunity cost to men and their opportunities. look at any STEM field and see that they bend over backwards to fill slots for women, much of which would have been opportunities for more qualified men in order to satisfy social pressure

[@j.k.cascade2057]

Yes indeed. I finished a Masters STEM degree several years ago, and females had a continuous red carpet in front of them where ever they went. The very same has been true at work.

[@michaell1744]

You sound a little bitter!

[@DingoAteMeBaby]

so?

[@obtain60]

@@michaell1744 anyone who isn't speaking up about clear discrimination is part of the problem. People SHOULD be bitter when they are passed over for less qualified candidates.

[@user-er1bh5oq9y]

Men, where lifts so you can be 6foot and above and put that on your app profile. Same thing as a girl who wears makeup and a push up bra.