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@Susq153 жыл бұрын
We agreed before marriage that our kids needed mom at home. I worked to put my husband through school. When we had our first baby, he worked to support us. It wasn't an interchangeable job...my husband could not nurse the baby around the clock, and I was able to use my education to homeschool while his was a higher-paying career (mine would not have been). I'm thankful he recognizes the high importance of my contributions.
@superblump873 жыл бұрын
Can all of the MRA ignoramuses that usually comment here please read this? Thanks.
@anneshirley95603 жыл бұрын
What great team work!
@hiddenprofits2163 жыл бұрын
What an amazing relationship!!
@eclipse.52953 жыл бұрын
Until he leaves and she has to reenter the workforce. I will never recommend a woman to be a SAHM.
@christinebutler76303 жыл бұрын
You only need a GED to homeschool. I'm all in favor of mom's being housewives if that's the best way to go but it means we should not be sending girls to college, it's a waste of money. Get them through with grade and a GED, get a matchmaker and marry them off at 16 while they still have their virtue, which few brides do nowadays
@michaelwoods44953 жыл бұрын
My wife's mother and my mother stayed home and my wife did too, until the children were old enough not to need them. We came home from school and Mother was there. All these families learned to live on what Daddy could bring home. It was a good life. I recommend learning to live on what you have.
@andrew81683 жыл бұрын
Thats us
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
Same here. Most of the neighborhood was like this when I was growing up. Wonderful times.
@Ladysolitude243 жыл бұрын
That was me. My siblings and I were better off for it. My dad moved us from Queens to Long Island on one job and overtime. My mother was there when we got home and we had no opportunity to get in trouble. When we were all in a bit older my mom helped him by opening an group daycare in the home. Her business became very profitable and allowed him to not to work as much.
@katbaal45403 жыл бұрын
That's us too.
@lindakincaid45303 жыл бұрын
good point. You don't have to have a big house, two cars, and lots of things. as long as you have a roof over your head, food to eat and a good family values. you can survive. Honestly you don't need cell phones or all the latest electronics. Make your kids life what you want it to be.
@maryreddell65293 жыл бұрын
I was one who stayed home and also homeschooled our two children. They are successful adults. It was well worth it and i regret nothing.
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
But you can also work from home
@maryreddell65293 жыл бұрын
@@leisurelysam5412 indeed, but this is relatively new, and it was not available when i had children at home.
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
@@maryreddell6529 but working from home is the best and also profitable for the family
@maryreddell65293 жыл бұрын
@@leisurelysam5412 i do agree .. but homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and such are also work of the at home person. Working from home could make homeschooling far more difficult. It takes time and patience because children need constant supervision. We found it would have cost more in childcare, tho i did work part time occasionally to help out. He would work days and i would work nights. That is not recipe for happy marriage.
@littleme35974 ай бұрын
@@leisurelysam5412 You HAVE to be a male. Males think, being home, means it is NOT WORK. It is a lot of work, we just don't get PAID for that work. lol.
@relsba3 жыл бұрын
This is a question that should have been discussed and agreed to prior to marriage.
@ModernSouthernBelle3 жыл бұрын
This! 💯💯💯
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
Yup. No family planning or financial planning. Just the wedding and thinking below the waistline. Bubbles popping just like in the movie “Idiocracy”
@theresa70443 жыл бұрын
I did that in my marriage, we had agreed. But then hubby changed his mind…..the marriage didn’t survive.
@glenosei33513 жыл бұрын
People change their mind when they get it to it
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
You mean losing your job?
@LaDeeDah3 жыл бұрын
The first thing that should be raked over is the cost of childcare and the cost compared to what she would bring in
@tamiamyourfavoritedragon88903 жыл бұрын
This couple will have a wake up call when they see the current cost of child care.
@aolvaar87923 жыл бұрын
@@tamiamyourfavoritedragon8890 Add another wife, to take care of the children. " You will always be First Wife"
@ItsTyrone73 жыл бұрын
And not just dollar for dollar. Factor in gas/transportation costs, TIME, plus all the other things a mom at home provides. It becomes almost a given for her to stay home if they have another kid
@Michael-vf2mw3 жыл бұрын
@@ItsTyrone7 Especially, if he's capable of bringing in another 12-18000/year by working overtime. I would presume he's enabled to do that partly by the fact that he doesn't necessarily have to take care of the kid much. So the extra job for wifey might have to clear that opportunity cost too.
@littleme35974 ай бұрын
@@tamiamyourfavoritedragon8890 And, we tried that. Our 2 kids got sick all the time, with so many different kids in child care. So, paying for child care, days off for sick child and doctor payment, medicine. NO WHERE AHEAD! Working outside the home, was great. 2 , 15 minute breaks, lunch in quiet, got adult conversations, and a little paycheck. lol. Staying home was MORE WORK!
@RealtorJxhn Жыл бұрын
As a 21 year old man.. Me and my wife (we have a child together) decided that she can play a substantially more supportive role in the home (at her discretion of course) than to be working. I work a 80+ hour work week to pay the bills and provide for our family and I take great comfort knowing that our child is being raised full time by my wife.. and thus motivates me to continue working hard.. no matter how hard it gets.. I feel it to be my obligation to provide and shield them from the stress that lies outside of the home. She takes care of the home and takes on her roles in the home and goes above and beyond.. thus taking a tremendous amount of stress off of me. So all i have to worry about is going to work and paying the bills.. I know that our child is safe at home and getting the best care and and attention even if it costs me my energy.. because i get to go home to a very happy wife. I embrace the pain and suck until i can start making money in my sleep.
@jccisneros791910 ай бұрын
This is what im working towards . Good job bro🙌🏻
@MyCatsChannel8414 ай бұрын
My Husband does this to but damnnnn😮80 hours
@amosiren3 жыл бұрын
What kind of a man would rather a stranger raise his kids so the mother of his children can go off and push a pencil for some insignificant dollar amount? Disgraceful.
@michellem38793 жыл бұрын
Did I miss where they asked how much of the household duties is he willing to take on if she does go back to work? Does he simply think she should have a job outside the home for $$ and still be responsible for the care of the home and their child? They need to have a long conversation about what each wants and the expectations of each other with each option.
@marycarricaburu36833 жыл бұрын
Good information, Dave didn't mention this aspect.
@jeanettefullmer75253 жыл бұрын
Yeah this is something that drives me crazy. Most people don’t want to pay for daycare once they find out how much it costs, but then it’s so much to juggle an at home job and a kid.
@TestTest-ei4gi2 жыл бұрын
To be fair. Most guys, like myself, put off stuff around the house until we get around to it. She probably doesn’t want to live in a mess but I know many guys that don’t mind lol
@niltomega29782 жыл бұрын
I've always wanted my wife to stay at home becasue I believe that women become haggard and tired working a job and I want her to be energetic and invigorated. Even now that our kids are grown I see no need for her to work outside the home unless she chooses to. I have to remind her that I like her being home becasue the world constantly tells women they need to be wage slaves. Not MY wife.
@Michelle_east.living2 жыл бұрын
I agree. If both people are working full time everyone is tired.. if one person stays home then the meals are prepped, houses is clean and laundry done etc etc… if both people arrive home at 6:00 it really makes life stressful. Evenings then can consist of simply hanging out etc.. otherwise it’s make supper, do laundry, etc.. it’s all about values in life.
@meganlutz71502 жыл бұрын
Nice to hear from a man who doesn’t want to see his wife slaving away and coming home tired and stressed. And also is not resentful of being a provider. In other words, a real man ! Good for you Sir.
@Shessolostintheworld Жыл бұрын
Amen !!! We need more men with this mentality.
@memenhuneebs9 ай бұрын
I absolutely love this comment.
@teeny7003 жыл бұрын
I'm due in September with our first. I've always been a worker. Never wanted to be a stay at home mom. Still not a goal of mine BUT my husband does not. He wants a stay at home mom. Running the numbers.....it will be a waste if I go back to work. All I'll be doing is working 40+hours a week just to hand my entire paycheck over to someone else to raise my kids. As much as I love and want to go back to work, it will actually cost me more to do so. This is definitely a hard debate....
@marycarricaburu36833 жыл бұрын
I stayed home until the kids were in school, then I worked part time so I would be home when they were.
@JohnDoe-gc1kt3 жыл бұрын
@@marycarricaburu3683 bingo
@jocelynswan43393 жыл бұрын
Maybe you could work park time
@TheDjcarter19663 жыл бұрын
Lots of people don't add the cost of daycare, gas, clothes, food, etc. Most women like this are working for a couple dollars an hour
@romyec3 жыл бұрын
Maybe you can start a business from home?
@MsLucky4433 жыл бұрын
Stay home with the kid and don’t buy things yiu can not afford!
@theresa70443 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@christophercarrigg37753 жыл бұрын
I.e. the new car
@marktheshark25693 жыл бұрын
Get a JOB
@MyCatsChannel8414 ай бұрын
@@marktheshark2569😂😂😂😂
@John3.363 жыл бұрын
Real Question: Should she outsource someone to raise her children for $3k+ a month?
@baddog60033 жыл бұрын
But women need to be strong and independent feminists! Raising your own children is outdated, the TV works just fine.
@julinademooy72063 жыл бұрын
@@baddog6003 this is sarcasm, correct?
@lalaishappyyy2 жыл бұрын
that just makes me wanna cry :/children these days aren’t raised by their parents, they are raised by random childcare workers that are not paying attention to them
@jacksonbilly9979 Жыл бұрын
Yes cuz more moms staying home drinking a box of wine a day popping Xanax ignoring the child completely is what we need more of.
@John3.36 Жыл бұрын
@@jacksonbilly9979 I think you are mixing with the wrong type of women to be mother of your child.
@n1k01k03 жыл бұрын
There is significantly more value in her raising her kid then someone else doing it while she works. I happen to be incredibly lucky that my mom stays home with my kid all week while I work. I dont have to worry because my kid has a clean diaper plenty of healthy food and endless love and play time. I don’t know what I would do if I had to take my baby to daycare, but probably stay home. My income is higher than my husband’s and we already discussed what’s getting cut to keep us in a budget if we ever have to resort to this.
@matthewgardner21443 жыл бұрын
Wait, what? I truly get that it's important for both parents in your family to work outside the home. But your mental gymnastics are something else altogether. Sounds like your mom provides good care (like many providers), but that is not you or your partner at home.
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
Yup. Easy to do nowadays. The homeschooling parents here understands and master this well. All it takes is planning.
@lzkrishmom3 жыл бұрын
You're so lucky that your mom took care of your kids. Now.. remember to take care of your mom when she needs you.
@n1k01k03 жыл бұрын
@@lzkrishmom 🙃of course 👍🏻
@edhcb93593 жыл бұрын
Studies show that there is absolutely zero difference in children’s academic and social outcomes for those with stay at home moms vs working moms. There is of course a GIANT difference in the children’s student loan debt between those two groups.
@annle55213 жыл бұрын
Does he even know how much daycare cost per child? It's almost paying rent or mortgage. So, his problem is not financial burden, but thinking she's lazy and doesn't contribute. If he thinks it's a financial burden, then why have children, they cost too much to take care.
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
But you can also work from home
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
@TheRain yeah but it depends on the type of work
@rickvangils1003 жыл бұрын
Do you even know you can also work on the weekends or pick up 1-2 night shifts while he's off from work?
@inthebooks3947 Жыл бұрын
If child care is 1700 and she makes 4k a month then it’s worth it
@drea41954 ай бұрын
@@inthebooks3947 A lot of Ifs here, we don't know.
@Itsellasky3 жыл бұрын
he wants her back at work. it’s a values question. People get upset when women stay home, ultimately it’s up to the couple. my husband and i agreed i would not have to work in our marriage and it works for us. i stay with our kids.
@crayonsandcars3 жыл бұрын
Listening to these calls and reading the comments makes me appreciate my husband so much more. It also makes me appreciate my parents and their sacrifices to help me find the life I live now. I see our family as a team and different things happen at different times, just like a good sporting team we make adjustments to be successful.
@amosiren3 жыл бұрын
A lot of these people making comments probably don't even have a girlfriend, so don't read too much into them
@mikehurt32903 жыл бұрын
One giant issue nobody talks about is the cost of daycare almost all the daycares around here is just as much or even more than our rent! So my wife pretty much was forced to stay at home or have most of her paycheck just going to daycare and that's with one kid I can't imagine with more
@emilylednicky67184 ай бұрын
Don't let the net fool ya. This is a primary reason there are so many childless women in their 30s and 40s right now. (Usa).
@peanutoreo80523 жыл бұрын
I was abused by babysitters. If at all possible, stay home with your children. Nobody will treat them like their own mother will. I stayed home and raised my son. It was not always easy, but it was the right thing. I do however know that it is not always possible to do and I would never condemn a mother for working. P.S. A baby cannot tell you if they are being abused.
@madisonandthefarm3 жыл бұрын
When I stayed home with our daughter, my husband went thru this phase of saying “what did you do all day?”…”It is my money, I am the only one who works”…he eventually changed, but it was a horrible phase. I was able to find a job that I can work from home, make amazing money and be able to watch my daughter if she has to do school at home again. Ever since I started working, my husband has been so much happier, and I am happier too.
@cherylmitchell372 жыл бұрын
Why was he so disrespectful? Did he ever apologize for acting that way? 🤔
@likethecolorgreen2 жыл бұрын
He was probably really feeling the pain of caring for the family. Happy it all worked out in the end.
@MissPeachie Жыл бұрын
I was in the same boat. My husband was a jerk until I got my degree and a job.
@Claybraham912 ай бұрын
What sort of at-home job did you get if you don't mind me asking? It seems like they're so hard to find.
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
Speaking of "hang ups", sometimes the men in this type of situation had a single mom growing up who may have worked more than one job at a time in order to take care of expenses, and never having had a stay at home mom, they just can't even see their own wife staying at home with the kids. (I've known men like that is why I can say that.) There are also stay at home dads, and sometimes that can work out well too.
@jasminejoseph83073 жыл бұрын
Well said! 👏🏾
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
@@jasminejoseph8307 👍
@aolvaar87923 жыл бұрын
My wife and I are retired Pensioners. Neither of us work. We raise small children Work 20 years, get a pension, then raise children.
@diegodesouza96973 жыл бұрын
Stay home man it’s not a man. I’ll never ever even if my wife was millionaire I would stay home.
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
@@diegodesouza9697 Well, there are times when a man may be disabled enough not to be able to hold down a job, but could stay home to help take care of the kids while the wife works. That wouldn't always be the case, but I'm sure in some instances it may be.
@dancebrittany233 жыл бұрын
I bet this guy expects his wife to do ALL the housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and pm childcare too while she's working....
@mariad52753 жыл бұрын
exactly he needs to ask himself if they can afford the baby sitter, the cook, and the maid if his wife goes back to work.
@socketyellow33 жыл бұрын
@@mariad5275 why hire a cool and maid, just split the responsibilities equally
@socketyellow33 жыл бұрын
Cook
@gregbaxter61623 жыл бұрын
I bet you’re shoving words in his mouth
@Dhuxul95 ай бұрын
that is your negative assumption
@amandadean39483 жыл бұрын
My ex and I were adamant about both of us working no matter what....until we had a baby and got a reality check on how expensive quality childcare can be. We both didn’t make much money at the time but still crunched the numbers realizing it made more sense for me to not work. We kept that arrangement until our child was a toddler then I was going stir crazy and went back to work. By that time he was making substantially more so it all worked out.
@billvigus37192 жыл бұрын
If possible, what was the cause(s) of the divorce?
@likethecolorgreen2 жыл бұрын
I became stare crazy too and went back to work. I then quit my job because it just added to my work and I was just doing more work for little pay. Now I’m back home and my husband works two jobs. He also makes way more than I did at my job.
@Sigmatic850 Жыл бұрын
@@likethecolorgreen lol
@coreybryhanflighttraininga5257 Жыл бұрын
I have a hard time dealing with it because of my first marriage with a stay at home wife. She actually put my son in daycare and I paid for it while she stayed home because she needed free time. Also there is always resentment because I was working so much to provide such an expensive lifestyle. Eventually what happened was she became bored while I was working and found someone else. I will never put myself in a situation where I work so hard and someone else putting no effort. Currently I’m a single parent and raise my son work full-time and manage my household and chores and cooking and paying bills and budgeting and landscaping and folding laundry and just the normal day-to-day homeowner duties. It’s going to be Hard to find a partner be safe
@mimosahoney5617 Жыл бұрын
Yes, a woman should do something to contribute to family , i have heard a lot of cases like yours!👀
@eliannahankin2971 Жыл бұрын
She was a user. You should have never allowed her to do nothing. I am stay at home mom. I don’t go to bed till 3 am. I exclusively pump breast milk, feed the baby milk, solid food, change, clean, cook, do laundry. It a a lot of work. Sometimes I wish I could work but daycare is way more expensive.
@eliannahankin2971 Жыл бұрын
I forgot to mention I do dishes 24/7 by hand, broken dishwasher. Can’t replace it yet because our baby needed cranial helmet, nearly 5k.
@AmukaAkuma Жыл бұрын
I hope you took her to court for child support, but then again she sounds like the type that it would be like wringing blood from a stone.
@Ineedtruth19 ай бұрын
That’s not a stay at home wife, that’s an overgrown child.
@jazzyj66403 жыл бұрын
That conversation should be held before marriage.
@pault7263 жыл бұрын
So good to see in many comments, that people realize the nearly inestimable value of mom being home with the children. My wife and I experienced that growing up, and our children had the same benefit. The sacrifice(s) it takes are well worth the rewards.
@onehope25873 жыл бұрын
Yup and it is a sacrifice many people don't see it like that.
@perotal3 жыл бұрын
Shouldn't you have this conversation with your spouse BEFORE you decide to reproduce ? What's wrong with people
@murderouskitten25773 жыл бұрын
hey mate , atleast they have a job and they got married before they made a kid. Thats already above half of thr population in terms of responsible attitude against life ;)
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
@@murderouskitten2577 Actually having the kid after marriage is worse when you think about it. They didn’t even communicate before or after marriage.
@perotal3 жыл бұрын
@@murderouskitten2577 that's true
@ModernSouthernBelle3 жыл бұрын
This! I’ve told every man I’ve dated that I will be staying home until the kid is in Kindergarten. Early childhood is so important. I don’t want to trust that responsibility to a stranger.
@murderouskitten25773 жыл бұрын
@@blackworldtraveler3711 nobody is perfect .
@matthewdecker22993 жыл бұрын
Glad Christy pointed out the child care aspect. Two incomes equal higher taxes, more consumables, more vehicle maintenance, child care... going backwards financially?
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
But you can also work from home
@altha-rf1et3 жыл бұрын
A husband is just not a paycheck. A husband will get tired of working two jobs and file for a divorce, On parent work one shift the other parent work another shift each have different off days until things get better
@a.c.70693 жыл бұрын
He shouldn't have to work two jobs, but parents working split shifts is exhausting and sometimes dangerous. I was a parent who did that. Now I realize our family could've gotten by easily on one income in those days.
@altha-rf1et3 жыл бұрын
@@a.c.7069 The person staying home needs to find a job that they can do at home, even if it is take care of two other kids my sister did that when we was younger,, her husband worked fixing cars they had two kids she took care of two kids from people who worked at the shop where her husband worked at help a lot of people,, I raised kids, grandkids, and nieces and nephews of all ages, Do not want to do it again but that is one job that is in high demand
@a.c.70693 жыл бұрын
@@altha-rf1et Good idea. The parent at home could babysit or do some other part-time work from home. Also, that parent can look for ways to save $$ by budgeting carefully, cooking meals from scratch, etc. The caller said he makes $30/hour. That's a good income.
@likethecolorgreen2 жыл бұрын
I’ve worked and cared for my children. I was miserable. My husband has the benefit of coming home to cooked food and everything done for him. When I was working I didn’t have the benefit. I still had to care for myself. I’m so grateful my husband keeps me at home. I can take care of me, him and the home. When I was working our daughter was not learning at home and also for plot her colors, my husband and I both eat out every day and when my had a vacation day it was spent in the house with the toddler because I had to go to work. My hair a second job which pays way more then I was making. I was making around $200 and he went on to make $799 extra. He comes home to cooked food and happy his children are safe at home with no one hurting them, learning and living life. Also he gets to enjoy his days off being able to go out with the family. He has me available to him instead of me being like I got to go or I’m a be late your on your own with the children figuring out.
@kara21623 жыл бұрын
We don't know in this case, but the student loans that these future stay at home moms take out can be brutal.
@CJ2023Incognito3 жыл бұрын
“This sounds like a FIGHT!” 😂😂😂
@johnathans81853 жыл бұрын
Yall completely ignored the fact that the man said he's having to work overtime to make ends meat!! What happens when OT is no longer available? What happens to the marriage when he spends all his time at work and she becomes dissatisfied with how little time and attention is left for her and the child? What happens in divorce court when he was the sole provider during the marriage?? If it was me, there would be no question about her going back to work. Yall trippin!
@khanhcao31233 жыл бұрын
Don't forget she is equal and independent. She needs to help pay expenses.
@JeffRobertsFix3 жыл бұрын
She’s not a man. When the roles are reversed Dave will lay into the fact the mans needs to work. When it’s the opposite it’s the mans fault for writing/calling in and not discussing it with his wife first.
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
This is what happens when you don’t plan for things like personal finance,marriage,babies,family,etc.. “Things happen” is also beforehand and not just realized after the fact when trouble starts. All about choices.
@garrettmesser39773 жыл бұрын
@@khanhcao3123 yes! Especially the student loans which for a psychology degree could easily be $80K. No reason for him to be the only person bearing the burden of income when she decided to pursue a degree and then change her mind once having a kid. It’s on he to be responsible for her choices and not expect him to bail her out
@SherryEllesson3 жыл бұрын
He didn't say that. He said that IF he worked overtime he could bring in extra, but he didn't say they're not making ends meet unless he does. The thing is, these questions need to be answered and agreed upon before anyone gets married and has a child.
@Iburn2473 жыл бұрын
I've always given my wife the choice to stay home. I wish she did more around the house as a housewife but she raised our daughter, kept her safe and healthy and happy, is faithful and we gave been together since 15.
@TRUYORK7183 жыл бұрын
That's what you think...
@ashleyjones53963 жыл бұрын
My husband gives me the choice too, but I like working. I would have been miserable staying home. I did try for a little while and hated it. I do think this should be discussed before marriage but I know people change their minds. They both need to get true feelings out and come up with a compromise. Maybe she can work from home part time to increase income. I personally wouldn’t want my husband working constant overtime and our kids missing him just to misty have me. Hopefully they can discuss options and compromise. If not, there will be no winners.
@angelp.40443 жыл бұрын
What would you have liked her to do more of around the house?
@ColdSprite3 жыл бұрын
Same boat as you , except for me I have a son lol
@Iburn2473 жыл бұрын
@@ashleyjones5396 I agree
@ALJohns-nm4ht3 жыл бұрын
Before kids I said I'd want to be a working mom. Then I had kids. Got PPD,y view on life and priorities changed and now I'm a homeschooling mom of two. I recently started a job as part-time teacher at my kids' co-op, but it doesn't make much money, so my husband doesn't consider it a real contribution. He's very resentful of me and lets me know constantly that I'm living "the easy life". It SUCKS. So bad.
@CB-1232 жыл бұрын
Your husband is an A hole…. Your not living the easy life
@JeffRobertsFix3 жыл бұрын
No one ever talks about working off shifts
@everss023 жыл бұрын
exactly, wife works nights as a nurse, we manage and we both make great money. she just has a useless degree and no prospects
@marycarricaburu36833 жыл бұрын
When I was young it was almost impossible to get evening and night jobs as a telephone operator because they gals with more seniority took them so they didn't have to hire babysitters.
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
Absolutely not. You’re her husband and the father of the children. It’s your job to provide for them and let your wife stay home if she wants to. Get a higher paying job and take care of her and your children and provide for her and your children like any decent husband and father would.
@tmusa20023 жыл бұрын
Whoa! I see 1950 has come for a visit!
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
@@tmusa2002 any husband that can’t be bothered to do that for his wife doesn’t deserve to be married. And aside from the high taxes, the 1950s were a much better time. We didn’t have a bunch of grown adults crying for a safe space to protect them from free speech and husbands and fathers actually did their jobs.
@kyloren81333 жыл бұрын
@@johnmartin4641 Your job as a mother is also to provide for your children. What happens when your husband hits the bucket?
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
@@kyloren8133 that rarely happens. Also, someone’s got to take care of the kids. It’s so much easier and better for it to be their mother instead of some stranger from daycare, and in some cases, it may actually be cheaper. If the husband dies, then the mother can go back to work then.
@xsgtxbigboy1655 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 enjoy being broke ur whole life with a single income
@busybecky63273 жыл бұрын
Even if she stays home, there's things she can do to bring more income into the household to help with debt. Lots of options, she just has to want to.
@ModernSouthernBelle3 жыл бұрын
It’s next to impossible to work when you have a newborn or very young child. You would pretty much have to neglect them to get anything done.
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
There were lots of options available to discuss before marriage and having kids. Apparently they didn’t want to. Now easily avoidable things happen and things get complicated.
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
@@ModernSouthernBelle Good point!
@Chelsea_Tries_Stuff3 жыл бұрын
@@ModernSouthernBelle I do it. I run my own online Poshmark reselling business and do contract work for my prior FT company. I do it all from home and I watch my baby like a hawk. Plus, babies sleep a lot lol
@louisehenderson57983 жыл бұрын
@@Chelsea_Tries_Stuff Some of them.
@clarifyingquestions3 жыл бұрын
Doesn't want to go to work or doesn't want to leave her baby?
@kaylaa24663 жыл бұрын
Tell me you don’t have kids without telling me. Like being a stay at home mom ISN’T a full time job. Bye
@clarifyingquestions3 жыл бұрын
@@kaylaa2466 Are you talking to me? I have four children, but what has that to do with my question. Her husband's letter was implying that he thinks his wife just does not want to work, so my question to him would be is that correct ie did she work before baby? or is work not the problem but rather she doesn't want to leave her baby? Yay him if he has no problem going to work and leaving his baby but maybe she does. Two parents one baby they need to figure it out but for him to imply that she just does not want to work, I think ( quite possibility) is off the mark. FYI
@leisurelysam54123 жыл бұрын
But you can also work from home
@j.m0ney1333 жыл бұрын
Sounds like they need marriage counseling.
@mxerb59123 жыл бұрын
😂 why? Normal question to have
@DenisFrance883 жыл бұрын
sounds like Divorce
@DenisFrance883 жыл бұрын
sounds like Divorce
@AnnMitt3 жыл бұрын
She could work weekends. No childcare needed.
@fireant12723 жыл бұрын
Focus on your kid, that's more important then money! Dont have others raise them. Homeschool your kids also. If work is somehow more important dont have kids they need you 24/7.
@luminous69693 жыл бұрын
Since we all agree that raising a child is the most difficult job in the world, the husband should volunteer to do the harder job while the wife does the easier job of working 40+ hours a week for a boss.
@thorie794 ай бұрын
She can go work on the oil rig while I'll be the husband putting DVDs in the player wearing my pajamas.
@hunterhunter1062 жыл бұрын
My fiancée and I talked about this a long time ago, and I told her that I don’t believe all women should stay at home, but whomever I marry will. At least until the children are kindergarten age. Then she can if she wants to. Sure, I may not get a newer car or the theater room I want anytime soon, but I’d much rather go to the grave knowing I gave my kids every chance they have at the best life, and having the mother around at those early stages is so important. And she agrees and is excited about it. Me too, because I know she’s going to be a great mother.
@racheln43093 жыл бұрын
Why on earth would I hire someone do do my job? Especially when it’s a job I do so much better. When I die god isn’t going to ask me how my career went. He’s going to ask how my kids were.
@nikan77043 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!
@madisonandthefarm3 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@silverstar42893 жыл бұрын
do the math of the welfare any parent receives versus DINKS, with the tax credits, exemptions, free school etc. That certainly offsets some of the unearned income from the mother staying at home. Trust me, "The Village" is raising your child.
@douglasbrinkman59373 жыл бұрын
Kids need a mom at home. Reduce your standard of living.
@marktheshark25693 жыл бұрын
What. U still have about 16 hours in a day with them
@sprague493 жыл бұрын
With the wife's degree shouldn't she be able to get a job at a daycare center, bringing the child with her to work and being paid to boot?
@krystelhardesty99603 жыл бұрын
Daycares don't pay much at all around me only $12 an hour and they only give you a discount not free child care if you work there.
@wyntyr_70963 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately even if you're on the same page...after the child is born...in my experiences...you and wife may be on completely different pages with very little notice...
@healwithjaime673010 ай бұрын
It’s amazing to read the comments here. Even listening to the responses from financial advisors about feelings 🤭. I’m so intrigued by the human mind. I wonder what people think working single moms are doing…magic?!
@MsLucky4433 жыл бұрын
If you live below your means you can stay home with your child!
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
Just living within means is enough. If they have to live below their means they had a kid they could not afford. I guess this is part of that “sacrifice for my kids” thing I hear about. It’s all about choices though.
@christophercarrigg37753 жыл бұрын
And if they don't?
@evankolar89575 күн бұрын
Your wife should drive a school bus. She can take your kids with her to work and she can make a little money with her. Also the middle of the day is completely open for her since the routes are split throughout the day!
@ninam10613 жыл бұрын
I think I’d go crazy staying at home with my baby, we pay my mother’s rent so she can take care of him while me and my husband work (it’s still cheaper for us than childcare). Two incomes are better than one and it takes a village to raise a kid.
@racheln43093 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a lot of people here need to read some child development books or something. Kids are not dogs. They need their mothers.
@AccidentalHiker13 жыл бұрын
Don't be a stay at home mom/dad. Always have your own resources.
@aolvaar87923 жыл бұрын
My wife and I are stay at home Parents. We have your own resources.
@joyaustin65813 жыл бұрын
Forcing someone to support you is wrong
@aolvaar87923 жыл бұрын
@@joyaustin6581 My State will pursue you across State lines and drag you back in chains for abandoning a spouse. God help you, if there are children involved. It is a crime not to support a spouse, when you can.
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
Someone’s got to take care of the kids.
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
@@joyaustin6581 a husband and father’s job is to support his wife and kids.
@monicavandeventer54298 ай бұрын
Regardless of who makes the most money, the mother should be the one staying home, NOT the father. Men were created to provide financially. Mothers were created to be homemakers. I’m a stay at home wife and mother and my husband would never be able to do the job I’m doing, and I would never be able to the job he’s doing (he’s a truck driver for a concrete company).
@angelaonthego3 жыл бұрын
Too much info is missing to make any kind of accurate judgement here.
@tmusa20023 жыл бұрын
Amen! Best comment out in this charged string! Everybody needs to live and let live.
@bookmagicroe95533 жыл бұрын
Taking care of a baby is a full time job. Paying for childcare is expensive. Anyone who thinks raising a child is lazy, then that person needs to stay home full time for a month with the child/children and see if they re-arrange their opinion. Financially, when we had kids I went back to work. My income put us into a higher tax rate, the cost of childcare took even more, and when we were washing clothes and floors at midnight, we decided I'd stay home a few more years.
@DaneDuPlessis Жыл бұрын
A lot of wisdom in this short talk, thanks guys.
@pigpjs3 жыл бұрын
It's possible Caleb's wife is burnt out and wants to focus on the kid for a bit while figuring out what her next move is. He needs to have a conversation with her about what's going on. They both need to be honest about their concerns. They could even make a pro con list together, listing emotional as well as financial aspects. Something people ignore when there is a sole provider is the pressure that sole provider is under. Caleb needs to consider if his hesitancy is due to feeling stressed out about his own job and what that would mean for his family if he lost his job.
@jennysam39293 жыл бұрын
The child comes first!!! Fulltime Mom of any age child is equal to Dad working at least 60 hours a week!!!!!!!! AND Dad must parent, clean the house and cook the meals half the time he is not working, or he can shut his face and wait until SHE decides to go back to work.
@billvigus37192 жыл бұрын
Your husband sounds very lucky
@MrMurysa3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like the moment she goes to work is the moment they split.
@realestatewithlilianayepes3 жыл бұрын
I choose to work from home to be home with my children until they went to high school . I love being available for them. Now that they are older I focus on debt free journey .
@kellyje11y3 жыл бұрын
It is very deceiving that he said 180k in debt including the mortgage. That doesn't explain their financial situation, and probably it is highly likely that they are not in a place they need to be gazelle mode.
@andrew81683 жыл бұрын
This whole video is disengenuous because Dave said its unreasonable for him to expect her to work despite the numbers. If she's his equal, she needs to work.
@kellyje11y3 жыл бұрын
@@andrew8168 Yes, and she is working. She has already put a huge work into the pregnancy, labor, and constantly working to keep the baby alive.
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
@@kellyje11y Unfortunately too many don't realize how much work all of that actually is, but want to downgrade it to being nothing important compared to bringing home that paycheck. Money is more important to many than their own children's upbringing. Maybe they can't buy as many toys for themselves if the wife doesn't work. (That's IF they can actually afford for her to stay home).
@marycarricaburu36833 жыл бұрын
It sounds to me that the father in this case isn't looking at the baby's welfare. Why have children if you are going to pay someone else to raise them? Of course, maybe he didn't want the kid anyway. My husband and I decided BEFORE we had children, that I would stay home with the children. After they started school, I worked part time so I could be with the children when they were home.
@dresser61353 жыл бұрын
I agree. Why indeed. Maybe more couples need to have a "nuts & bolts" discussion before getting pregnant as to whether they can make it work. If they are both willing to make the necessary sacrifices. It they're not on the same page then maybe it's just not the best idea to have a baby.
@Boringcountrylife7 ай бұрын
I have been a stay at home mom from day one. Oldest is 21, youngest is 11. We are 100% debt free (including mortgage) since 2016. I occasionally offer up the idea that I could work part or full time if we wanted to add more $$ to our retirement savings. My husband still values my work at home above the extra income and desire me to be at home. Home making is a career and has big impact on family health.
@cathyosullivan7183 жыл бұрын
Taking care of little ones is a lot harder then going to work. I don’t understand how the parent who goes to work often has the attitude that the person who cares for the kids isn’t doing anything. I’ve seen relationships where one person doesn’t have kids and won’t work which is ridiculous but when you have a family you have to sacrifice.
@ChrisPMuffin3 жыл бұрын
That’s total Bull and you know it. Put on a movie and give them an iPad and they’re totally immersed
@JustinCase7803 жыл бұрын
So true!!!!....They should hire Alice as she can live in a little room off the kitchen and have some life balance.
@monical7333 жыл бұрын
My mom took me to work with her everyday , grew up working with her, with no pay, it was terrible but now I don’t mind since I understand now
@ladyraddxjbs5893 Жыл бұрын
My husband wants me to work because he's content making a very small wage in an expensive state...
@aribbonatatime4 ай бұрын
Let her sell junk on Facebook marketplace at home but don't let her get a stupid 9 to 5. That baby needs it's Mama more than you need a few extra bucks.
@MyCatsChannel8414 ай бұрын
This 👏👏👏👏👏💯
@JustinCase7803 жыл бұрын
Why not hire "Alice" to take care of the house, while living in a little side room off the kitchen, and cooking while Carol can assist when she feels like baking some cookies and taking care of her hair, makeup and entertaining the kids.
@tmusa20023 жыл бұрын
LOL! I was watching Brady Bunch after school and couldn’t care less that my mom wouldn’t be home until 5:00. It was a peaceful time. 😊
@larrenzzoamos97536 ай бұрын
I’m Active Duty. Wife stays at home with our daughter. As a man, being the breadwinner, a goal of mine was to allow my wife to stay at home while I pay the bills. My daughter has 24 hour eyes on her for her protection until she’s able to protect herself.
@MR3DDev3 жыл бұрын
If they are struggling, she should be helping out, taking care of a child is a lot of work, I understand that, but if the husband is breaking his back just so she can stay at home, that's real bad.
@jeannedarc53513 жыл бұрын
I don't think you understand how much work taking care of a child is, as evidenced by your opinion that she "should be helping out".
@Sheryl7773 жыл бұрын
@@jeannedarc5351 Exactly!
@joyaustin65813 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed seeing my mother at work and playing in her office. I like working outside but it biased me to want and office job when I could wear heels and have my own office
@rickycastro65553 жыл бұрын
If most women’s definition of a “real man” is being a provider & paying all or mostly all the bills. Then what is the definition of a “real woman” ?
@LaDeeDah3 жыл бұрын
Staying home lol
@dforos817htexas73 жыл бұрын
It’s Making sure the house is cleaned up and having the food ready
@mirabella21543 жыл бұрын
Simple: What this woman is already doing. Staying at home with the baby and taking care of the household.
@manifest22033 жыл бұрын
Birthing a child and taking proper care of it by being the primary caregiver. If all things are favorable (child is doing well and is able to adjust, house is well organized), then going to work.
@arga4003 жыл бұрын
There is nothing wrong with a parent staying home if you can afford it, however they can not afford it. It is also mention that she has a bachelors and they have 100k in debt, I'm willing to bet some are college loans, it is outrageous to get a degree(on debt) and not work, you don't get to make that decision after you took the loans, you made the decision to work when you took the loans. She can stay home AFTER the debt is paid, one income of 30 an hour is plenty for the family to live on after they are debt free.
@NaNa-lt1po3 жыл бұрын
That's a fact.. but you cannot say that...
@arga4003 жыл бұрын
@@NaNa-lt1po Boiiii I just did~
@tmusa20023 жыл бұрын
Imagine if Dave had a calculation to determine if the wife should get a job. That would settle a lot, although some people just don’t want a job on top of parenting. It’s not for the weak, that’s for sure. 💪
@valerietromble5813 жыл бұрын
Ok Caleb you take care of the baby and see how easy it is while cooking and house work included
@tmusa20023 жыл бұрын
Who said she’s cooking and cleaning?
@luxuryqueen423 жыл бұрын
Yup he should cook, clean, change diapers, run errands, work out and still have energy for s*x at the end of the day and see how he feel? 😉
@HyperDrive452 жыл бұрын
what about asynchronous remote work until the debts paid off?
@ugcamige3 жыл бұрын
Ouuu the hypocrites. They would be killing him if roles were reversed. If he wanted to stay home and she goes to work. Dave would be calling him a wuss
@khanhcao31233 жыл бұрын
She married him and got knocked up so he can pay off her student loans.
@racheln43093 жыл бұрын
Motherhood and fatherhood are not roles or jobs that can be reversed
@rainbowsparks14362 жыл бұрын
Make your own money wife. Don’t be a stay at home. When divorce you have no job. Don’t be like me! Bad idea to be stay at home mom!
@tsmo22352 жыл бұрын
Me and my Fiancée just got our first house and specifically made the payment 1/4th of MY take home pay on a 20 year loan because we both understand, even before kids, that the value of a stay at home mom far out ways if she would work her two part time jobs while we had kids. All that would do is pay for childcare and maybe give us an extra 500 a month? Its really not worth it at all especially on a well being level. I want our kids to be raised by us not by someone else just make some extra cash. We will take the extra money now while she is still working and try to cut through that mortgage as much as we can for the next few years and then enjoy having kids and living life together
@bigbones9163 жыл бұрын
Everyone hating on the man for asking the question. she had a job before so its not an issue of child care all of yall including Dave are just sexist I guess I dont understand the double standard if it was a stay at home dad yall would have a different opinion.
@littleripper3123 жыл бұрын
This is a ridiculous thing to have not figured out before marriage. Also it doesn't matter if staying at home is less work or more work than what the other parent is doing in their day job. It's about do you value having a parent there to raise your kids? It's often the woman but I've met couples where the man is a stay at home and regardless of who it is it's petty and destructive to be putting them down and saying they're less valuable.
@sherryobar57503 жыл бұрын
How do you spell baby? WORK!
@sarahburggraf9073 жыл бұрын
A stay at home mom is looked at like w integrity. A stay at home dad = a bum in most ppls eyes.
@MrOfficer2353 жыл бұрын
Child care is insane however she should work until they get out of debt. Once debt free come back home.
@theslowevo93033 жыл бұрын
One of my wife's GREATEST qualities is her WORK ETHIC. Personally, I wouldn't want to be married to someone who just wants to stay home with the kids all day every day.
@Rainman81935 ай бұрын
Are the headsets supposed to make them more appealing to boomers?
@MyCatsChannel8414 ай бұрын
Uhhh Boomers 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🚩
@letty45583 жыл бұрын
She should get a work at home job.
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
And give up her current job of taking care of the kid?
@blackbutterfly233ify3 жыл бұрын
@@johnSmith-uz8nl she can do both
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
@@blackbutterfly233ify SURE and the husband can also get a second job. WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT?
@BAD_GRIM3 жыл бұрын
@@johnSmith-uz8nl troll
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
@@BAD_GRIM And that is your response... nice and stupid. My opinion will not change and it is not trolling.
@johnanderson83853 жыл бұрын
Get. A. Job. Pay. YOUR. Debt.
@williamarrowsmiith83805 ай бұрын
Life choices: You can either invest in your kids by giving of your time and effort to raise them yourself at home or have society raise them for you.
@cameronfreeman8495 Жыл бұрын
"SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE SALT MINES NOW!" - Dave Ramsey
@Anglophile20122 жыл бұрын
Child care is the second greatest stressor in a marriage after finances
@jacoblynch98623 жыл бұрын
Dave is right on one aspect we don't know the numbers on what the date is but if she has a psychology degree I'm gonna almost guarantee she has student loan debt I don't understand why women do this they go they spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on a degree then they get married have kids then want to stay home with the kids if that was your plan to begin with why bother with college you're just making it harder for your future husband to provide for you and the family when you're spending thousands of dollars on a degree you're not going to use that's stupid
@jbr29913 жыл бұрын
I suppose I am “stupid” because I stayed home with our children. I have a Master’s Degree in Education. I used my degree to nurture our children. I used my degree to teach them to love reading, math, and science before they started kindergarten. I used my time wisely with them to teach them about Jesus. I used my intellect and education as a volunteer at their school. I used my God given talent and degrees to teach at our church: children, youth, and women’s Bible Studies. I also help write curriculum for our middle schoolers. As you so eloquently stated, it’s that “wasted degree” being put to use there because I was EDUCATED how to teach. I use my degree as a ways and means to volunteer in under privileged schools. Teachers rely on me to come in and give their students a little extra help. I was fortunate that my parents and scholarships paid for every penny of my education. My children are now grown. One is a teacher of special needs children. The other just graduated from University and is going to use her business degree in the mission field. In the economic world, my life has probably been completely wasted because I only earned an income for seven years. I’m so grateful to have a husband who has lifted me up and reminded me of the greater purpose when I start to believe the myth you perpetuate. My treasure is in heaven, not in worldly gains.
@cabayern94163 жыл бұрын
Wifey needs to go to work. She needs to step up to the plate! Be a contributor and not a drain!!!! Be an equal woman!!!!
@johnmartin46413 жыл бұрын
Any decent husband and father would provide for his wife and children and any decent husband would give his wife the option to stay home. Someone’s got to take care of the kids.
@gregoryking47963 жыл бұрын
She can stay home and sell stuff online
@subjecttochrist3 жыл бұрын
What stuff can she sell online?
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
And hire a baby sister so she has time for this. NICE.
@gregoryking47963 жыл бұрын
@@subjecttochrist crafts, items in the home they don't need, browse garage sales locally, so many options.
@subjecttochrist3 жыл бұрын
@@gregoryking4796 that’s interesting! I thought you were gonna say, Amazon reseller
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
@@gregoryking4796 You know that’s not going to happen.
@TheDjcarter19663 жыл бұрын
But who wants to bet a nice chunk of that is her student loan for that psychology degree. An Mrs. degrees shouldnt keep you in debt, but if you keep your expenses low should be out of debt quickly sounded like she said that included the mortgage
@rikers2633 жыл бұрын
My house everyone works... once the kids were older, my mother was the one to say and your just going to Peg Bundy now? Lol
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
I think you are a lucky person if you have a grandparent that can and is willing to help. I am actually very jealous cause we do not have anyone but ourselves. My mom lives in Canada but she is the most amazing grandmother... and my wife's mom and dad are ZERO's and not only do they not help but my kid has never received a X-mas present or birthday present from them. Since my wife's dad remarried he practically disowned his kids.
@rikers2633 жыл бұрын
@@johnSmith-uz8nl hmmm, interesting angle. My wife aunt is the one who actually helps. The mom is always sick except when she needs money and the sister does nothing without a dollar sign connected but her aunts help put alot. One income is good. But my wife parents retired with like 30K in their savings and the sister ran up 18K of debt in CC and the father paid it off. My mother stepped in but your right, no support is traumatic
@johnSmith-uz8nl3 жыл бұрын
@@rikers263 So, money is not an issue to me cause I have always been a saver and we (really I) have invested our money extremely wisely. My family is great but we can not count on anyone to help out. I think, next summer I may ask my sister to take care of my kid for a week (if she wants), they rent a house on the Cape ever summer (for the entire summer!).
@scaldon23 жыл бұрын
Nothing wrong with women staying home . Is the world better off since women have gone into work force? Has women going into workforce affected divorce 😳?
@perotal3 жыл бұрын
who said there is something wrong ? And even if people say it's wrong so what ? It's a free country, you can do whatever you want.
@ModernSouthernBelle3 жыл бұрын
I can’t speak for the workforce but look at the younger generation. Raised by daycare and TV. Then we wonder why the world is in the state it’s in.
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
Nothing wrong with staying home. Problem is not planning to afford to stay home before marriage and having kids. Now there are issues. All about choices.
@scaldon23 жыл бұрын
@@ModernSouthernBelle yup that's the thing look at all the youths getting into crime. That's the result of being raised by TV and daycare. Stay at home moms get looked down upon today . It isn't right. God did not design a women to spend 8hrs of day around a man That's not her husband. Since women have gone into workforce there has been an increase in divorce and adultery .
@blackworldtraveler37113 жыл бұрын
@@ModernSouthernBelle Now it’s the next generation. More expensive daycare now. Ipad and cellphones replace the tv.
@kendrarhodes64253 жыл бұрын
Childcare is very expensive and harder to find now. I see it as a blessing if she can stay home with the baby. It’s good for their bond and the child’s development. She can do a side hustle to bring in extra cash.