I Can't Support My Elderly Mom Anymore

[@clarifyingquestions]

I am a Canadian. Just discovered Dave Ramsey and have been binge watching. What I am hearing on repeat is STUDENT LOANS and CAR PMTS - killers!

[@nationalwashproducts2124]

Car payments are killers for people who are financially inept

[@clarifyingquestions]

@SDD41 and CREDIT CARDS:) - living above their means! basic math

[@kimmyymmik]

I mean no one forces us to get student loans 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t wanna he forced to pay some liberal kid who wants a degree in liberal arts 🤢

[@milamarshall7842]

Student loans ain’t even the slightest issue if it’s a degree with basically a guaranteed job that you NEED a degree for I.e nurse, doctor, lawyer. The issue is when people get phd’s In worthless stuff like art or music. The first degrees are gonna explode your income, the others gonna leave you working at Wendy’s on minimum wage with 100k debt

[@clarifyingquestions]

@@milamarshall7842 All about the math. Many, many doctors, lawyers and nurses also graduate with absurd debt and call Dave for help!! So when making the choices do the math and remember nothing is guaranteed. Cash flow you education!

[@maryblooms4599]

I guess I am lucky that my 87 year old dad lives on his own, still rides his Harley to Sturgis each year and goes out dancing 3=nights a week.

[@ceciliapreziose3783]

IS HE MARRIED?????

[@maryblooms4599]

cecilia preziose no he is widowed

[@ocmetals4675]

you have no idea how lucky

[@michaelargenta3856]

r u single?

[@symonekumar4043]

VERY lucky. Happy for you!

[@boredbeingbored894]

Oh man... $35k a year in California... that’s tough... especially with dependants..

[@angelrodriguez6973]

Especially in Orange County

[@coloursoftherainbow8399]

In all of California or in certain parts?

[@jesuscentralcali4879]

@@angelrodriguez6973 most of California but there are cheap areas but not a lot of work I live in a rural area 780 rent

[@crow-vz5lx]

God Any part of Cali 35k is dirt.

[@Machoke.]

@@crow-vz5lx I think any part of anywhere 35k a year is kinda tough, just more tough in some areas.

[@gailrodgers3079]

Why hasn't that house been sold long ago. People on SS can't afford that kind of payment.

[@catherinewilke5583]

People on SS retirement shouldn’t have a mortgage at all

[@mickyunit]

Get out of bankruptcy, sell house, both move out of state. Relax.

[@ligbzd837]

Maybe even move out of the country. She'll have plenty if she moves to Mexico.

[@Thundarr995]

Don't vote Democrat if you move to a different state. Seems like all the blue states have the highest cost of living and Democrats turn your city/state into a dump attract all the lowlife junkies and homeless people. Seattle used to be a nice safe city,now it's a dump and its spreading out into the suburbs now.

[@kimmyymmik]

Tom Caffrey yup that’s Austin and half of Texas right now!

[@kiraloveall2651]

@@kimmyymmik Florida's getting there. Just barely holding red... we'll see how long that lasts.

[@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381]

I was thinking of that too, because the mother does have a fixed income high enough to do that and selling the house would be a good nest egg to get the move done and help the daughter move to another state, maybe one in a State just north of Mexico (or can try another place, there are other alternatives). @@ligbzd837

[@themoneypromethod465]

This is a great example of the “sandwich situation” when you are pulled between caring for parents and also for our children. This is an issue that millions of Americans are struggling with - long term care is an issue that causes more and more financial devastation in families lives.

[@shannon2748]

@@k.michaelrichards6374 That's one thing I can say about my parents. I am single and poor like they are, and they have always said they would never want to take any money from me at all.

[@thomasreedy4751]

She makes 35k a year and lives in a 600k house in CA which isn't much. I don't think anyone is a burden on anyone in this case.

[@ligbzd837]

This sandwich is normal for thousands of years. Family living together was normal and financially wise. Separation is the reason where everyone becomes stressed financially. They better live together if they want everyone in the family to do well. Grandma can babysit her grandson for free while the daughter work full time. Living together and pay one bill is smart and the only way for them in Orange County. They should also rent out one more room/garage in their house for additional income.

[@janeself9827]

The Money Pro Method Been an “issue” since the Lord created us to be stewards of one another

[@bonnievandergriff8272]

@@thomasreedy4751 The mother should sell the house and if possible move with her daughter to a state with a lower cost of living. I realize this is easier said than done. However if the mother could get $300,000 in equity, she could easily purchase another home of lesser value which would be a nice home in many states. If the daughter could also move with her on a temporary basis, then maybe they could actually have a decent standard of living. California is one of the costliest states to live in The citizens of California are nickle and dimed for everything. It takes quite a bit of income to live there comfortably. Get out of the state and start living again.

[@mannyjeanpierre4062]

i like dave ramsey. hes a problem solver. no emotion no panick how much you make how much you owe what do we do to have to balance out in the positives each month. simple math problem really

[@mikenelson8377]

Manny Jean Pierre right?? I’m asked all the time how I have so much save and save consistently so much every month. This has nothing to do with calculus, trig, German polka history, etc. This is add and subtract.

[@thirdintegra]

That's what I like about him too

[@cooliipie]

Reminds me of myself

[@deepsoul3256]

He is cool as a cucumber

[@andreycham4797]

What problem did he solve here. telling her that paying $700 to her mother is a bad idea because she could rent a place on her owen for $1700 or maybe he offered a plan how to transfer money from this house to her so the state did not take it when her mother goes to a nursing home or die ?

[@YappieKitchen]

It’s really not fair of the mother to expect the daughter to carry the financial weight of her debt.

[@MINDYWAAAA]

I loved the very very ending of this vid. Family debt and overspending and negligence of spending is a family trait that needs to end today.

[@1623JB]

One issue they didn't factor in was that the mom is probably babysitting for her single mom daughter so she can work and go to training. So living together may be a mutually beneficial arrangement right now, but I agree with Dave that the house has to be sold and they have to down scale.

[@DickinsonLivingInDickinsonNort]

Dave was so wrong saying, "she needs to sell her house and get a $300,000 condo". She needs to sell her house and get out of California, and get a house or condo in a normal state for $150,000 or less.

[@leatharay3565]

Out of Calif for sure

[@tundrellaCat68]

Sadly, all the Cali expats are driving up house prices in far away communities.

[@DickinsonLivingInDickinsonNort]

@Jarod Armstrong In small towns and rural communities local residents don't like houses becoming unobtainable by their adult kids, relatives, friends, co-workers, seeing good people that they like struggle and be priced-out of where they grew up.

[@pattyajones]

Wow, and where can I find your youtube vids on Financial Wellness?

[@OutnBacker]

@@pattyajones Patty. You're an idiot. Leaving California is the best advice ever.

[@marsha1758]

Why does a 72 year old still have a mortgage payment

[@Ahem2002]

I would say bad financial decisions

[@k.g.8503]

Obviously, money management is not one of her skills.

[@DarkReapersGrim]

@@k.g.8503 Has nothing to do with money management, she may have started late like R Cruz mentioned.

[@k.g.8503]

Timing is also part of money management, genius.

[@BusinessBox13]

Kelly G. Exactly. Most 70yr olds from my hometown actually rent using their SSI.

[@BellaOfTheBrawl]

She knew her mom had to sell the house. I suspect she was trying to explain that her mom refused to sell it, she just didn't know how to phrase it in a way that Dave wouldn't call her mom stupid, even though she knew what he would say. She sounded overwhelmed when she called, so I'm guessing she and her mom have been having this argument and she's been making no headway. Elderly people are like that, though, because moving is HARD, and many of them just want to stay where they're at. She's not trying to start over, she wants to plant her roots and stay because she's tired. That's understandable. The unfortunate thing is she never set herself up a retirement plan to satisfy that desire, so she physically cannot do it. But that lady is darn lucky to have such a great daughter, for sure.

[@talyahr3302]

Really well said

[@nickspacemonkey]

I'm a year late, but also some parents are always right when talking to their children.

[@TimeisUp22]

I agreed on the her mom don’t want to start over. Hopefully when Dave gave them fpu her mom went to the class.

[@vane12685]

I know some people say Dave is too harsh and rude but he truly cares. He just gave her financial peace university for free to help her out of her very tough situation. Good on him.

[@mikenelson8377]

VanéRivas I read the book and DR isn’t wrong. A lot of his teachings is pretty spot on. People are just so sold “brainwashed” into thinking banks actually care about them

[@janroach1852]

He just gave her absolutely insane advice. He told her to sell Mom's house BEFORE it came after Chapter 11 in nine months which is HIGHLY problematic. He told her she could no longer "afford" to "support" her mom. Her mom pays $1,200, her whole Social Security check, toward a $1400 a month mortgage. Daughter pays $600 plus, I fervently hope, food, gas, heat and electric. That would be, in total about $200 toward mortgage, $400 toward Con ED, $400 toward heat or air conditioning. So daughter should be paying $1,000 rent not $600. Daughter would need to buy the food which would be another $800 a month. Daughter need to pay $1800 a month for next nine months. Mom obviously babysits so daughter is going to need a second job for next nine months. Cheaper than grandma getting a job and Mom paying babysitters. Maybe grandma can get meals on wheels or foodstamps for herself. After house is out of Chapter 11, grandma needs to sell, move to cheaper area of country where jobs are plentiful, buy a house all money down, no mortgage, put house in Life Estate for daughter. Daughter will work and pay the bills. That's sane advice. Dave will have grandma living in a studio for $1,400? I don't think you can even find a studio for less than $2000 in Orange county. And Dave's advice will put daughter and two children on the street. On the street. They ain't living in Tennessee.

[@herenasaavedra9234]

He is too harsh and rude.

[@curiouscat3384]

He was very patient and kind I thought. He's not so patient in his more recent videos :)

[@ziddi2603]

You can't have a $1400 house payment with a $1200 income...This woman had to call in to learn this 'revelation'????

[@riverdaletales8457]

😂🤦‍♂️ I don't know what to tell her

[@mlovespring7892]

I can relate to this caller as I am on the same boat, except my mom lives with me and she has no assets, none. It's a daily struggle. Even so, the guilt that not being a good daughter and not taking care of your elderly parents. yet not everybody understands our stresser. Love listening to real people with real issues. Not a bunch of I have 800k and make 150k/per year and dont know what to do. 😥

[@ikkymonk1969]

Was it not foreseenable for Mom? You're not a bad daughter, Mom needs to own up

[@yayyareaa2997]

You won’t be able to live on your own with 35k/year in Orange County

[@divinebydesign20]

No where in California

[@yayyareaa2997]

Vivian Mosley agreed Outside of maybe central Cali next to an enormous cow farm

[@mosesyang4222]

Especially since she's a "single" mother AKA shoulda kept yo legs closed

[@themoneypromethod465]

True. A tough situation that needs more repair- but not impossible.

[@FuturePsychNurse]

Moses Yang She’s lucky her daughter is willing to help her!

[@BusinessBox13]

Dave, THANK YOU for encouraging her to move them apart!!! Codependency, esp w/parents and AGING parents at that, will consume ur life and could ruin it. Please be careful not to fall into this trap, everyone.

[@Vera-dg3hf]

thank you I so NEEDED to read this. thank you God bless you.

[@BusinessBox13]

Ballsy Bunny you’re more than welcome! Your parents may not be narcissists, but I recommend looking up Dr. Ramani on here. She explains characteristics of this and what to do if you’re involved.

[@linjubar]

Maybe think: cooperation rather than co-dependency. That co-dependency thing is BS. Every living being is dependent on someone somewhere. It’s nothing more than pop psyche new age lingo. If you get along, and it works for everyone, what’s the problem? There isn’t one. People like you, think it’s only psychologically healthy to be apart and isolated from family. It’s only a western concept. No wonder there is so much loneliness when everyone is living in their own little bubble. Yes, it’s healthy to live apart if that’s what you want, but each case must be taken on its own merits. It’s not a one fits all formula.

[@shannon2748]

I have a friend who lectured me and said that God calls us to look after our aging parents if they need us, and she quoted a verse in Luke, that says he who doesn't take care of his household is bad in God's eyes. I told her your parents are not your household when you are an adult, and she said she thinks parents are your household. Nope. I say she's wrong. I don't see her dad moving in with her though. Talk is cheap.

[@JustMe-dn9fh]

Orange county is too expensive to live on Social security income. Stop living above your means!

[@androidbey]

She could deliver pizza. Mow lawn

[@gartnsu1]

It doesn't sound like she is helping the mother all that much. Presumably she is living there without paying rent. Where could she go and live for $600 per month. She is in no position with a $35 K income to be by herself and neither is the mother with $1200 income. I think they should stay together and help one another.

[@cooleobrad]

She’s in massive debt and paying $200 extra on her mom’s house payment, as well as all her other costs of living. When there is kids involved it’s unfair to them to have insanely financially irresponsible grandma mooching money from the family.

[@sidwhiting665]

Risky....mom could die tomorrow or get sick/injured and have to spend down her assets and move into a Medicaid home. Then daughter is still stuck with a low income in a high cost of living area. Better they take Dave's plan and work together a little while longer on a long-term solution that gives them both financial independence. A 70 year-old woman could easily live another 15-25 years...that's too long for an adult woman to be financially co-dependent.

[@lenas5613]

He's right they can"t do this together. I think when her father left the picture, mama was drowning.

[@jessicaolson490]

If they knew proper boundaries gma could rent a room to the adult child for 700. But you don't go up to your kid and ask them for helping with cc payment or a house you can't afford. When my sister watched my baby I still paid her, you should have an agreement on the amount. It was cheaper than normal care for me but still got my sister a side gig for some extra money. That's how you help family without to much entanglement. now if Mom has dementia she might need a guardian.

[@Meira750]

Thank you!

[@dcavic6157]

"I'm short about 600_800 a month" "Sell the car" "Sell the mother" "Your only eating rice and beans"

[@newtonraymond77]

Mom can sell that house pay off everything, downsize and they both live happily ever after

[@butterfly9274]

People know the answer to their questions before they ask😅😅

[@sunshinelawfan7693]

butterfly9274 - and they are well aware of the option of BK. Which I suspect is where many end up. Just as this caller's mom did...

[@sunshinelawfan7693]

butterfly9274 - and they are well aware of the option of BK. Which I suspect is where many end up. Just as this caller's mom did...

[@codestopherwillington3081]

Sometimes it helps to get someone else's perspective! Someone on the outside looking in!

[@GaelinW]

True. And some of them have sought to go down that road but they get bad advice, like they already talked to a realtor about selling. So sometimes, they just need a second or third opinion.

[@ross330]

I would do anything for my mother. Dave Ramsey is right that no matter what the situation is, you can't afford more than you can afford!

[@janhatcher6991]

she needs to move and you need to stop paying her bills. That's not your responsibility.

[@p31ChicaLove]

Well if she’s staying with Mom, she’s benefiting.... she would have a big rent on her own!

[@PoeLemic]

I thought same thing. Once again, stupid advice after just listening for a minute or two. Just like why I tired of Suzie Orman -- they make split-second decisions, which aren't that simple. I have an elderly parent so I know this well.

[@Locomaid]

She says that at the beginning

[@DiscoFang]

That's exactly what I thought. $600/m is pretty ok isn't it? $7200 pa for your accommodation.

[@richardbowers3647]

You see it too!

[@Pandoraaaa408]

p31ChicaLove agreed. daughter makes it sound like she’s taking care of mom...but at $35k/year in OC, she’s barely taking care of herself.

[@moewilson4605]

When you hear about debt like this, one would just want to disappear. A very kind, loving daughter but she needs to live her own life.

[@ivanfuentes1035]

How did they buy a house at 60 and think. “This will work out”

[@chrismeister884]

Yep my mom did that. It took forever to get her to sell. It happened when we told her we would no longer make any repairs or give her money

[@bmichh40]

Sale the house, this is why its important to save money for when you get older.

[@FuturePsychNurse]

Brian Waller Why would he even suggest that to the daughter then?! They would be worse off!

[@ellistea1024]

But we ALL have that exemption, at least if we LIVE in the property. That's not a big deal and I assume she has that. The reason why that rule is within the BK court is to prevent you from selling a RENTAL property and then just pocketing the proceeds, not to punish you if you're living within the home.

[@rcas350pilot8]

@@ellistea1024 Wrong, there are several states that have no homestead exemption on your personal residence. Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania provide no specific homestead exemption and there are other states where the exemption is very low, eg Ohio is only $5000.

[@ellistea1024]

45 Auto that’s not the point I was making. I was stating that the bankruptcy court has thus rule to prevent owners of rental properties from pocketing proceeds. The fact that a bunch of states do or do not have homesteading is irrelevant. The ones with no homestead law probably have an alternative to distinguish a rental property from an owner-occupied property. I’m sure the rules are different between the two, for good reason. As to the amount that a homestead is worth- also irrelevant.

[@ELgratitude]

For some parents is difficult to save money for retirement while raising children's. It is to expensive

[@mirandalad5082]

with condos you have to pay HOA. i would not recommend condos

[@chavezunseen]

Dave for whatever reason doesn’t take that into consideration

[@joshuatate5671]

It would be bad to get to the end of your life and then realize you wasted it..

[@jeaninesnow566]

That is something we all hope not, a big regret.

[@denvercatwoman6561]

@M B I enjoyed reading you perfectly grammatical, properly punctuated post. So unusual on KZbin. Wish you the best.

[@catherinerotolo6944]

I’ve been caring for a parent for over 20 years, it’s been difficult financially but I wouldn’t change the time I’ve spent....

[@iamjuly9th]

Sell the house. Move to the Midwest with 300,000 and live happily after

[@j.rothchild173]

Yes! I work medical field in Texas and my patients are living the life after abandoning California!!!

[@livelovelife32]

Why not just rent the house rather than sell it? Or think about splitting the house into a small part for her and her mother and rent the other side. The monthly rent would pay off the house for them whilst giving them a bit of extra income. Yes she has debt but in a couple of years that house will be paid off and would have gone up in value. She would have a form of passive income padding up her low income whilst she continue to sort herself out.

[@chrysichrysi7889]

Orange County is for the well-off. End of story. Next. 😂

[@MP-nj1qy]

Amen👏

[@kkknotcool]

Well that's dumb. Orange county apartment go for 2k, with utilities, all over the county. Any middle class person can afford 2k in housing cost. The only limitation with Orange County is home ownership shouldn't be a middle class thing there. Edit: and poor people shouldn't live there.

[@kkknotcool]

@Loving Reid That's Starbucks and the grocery store's problem. If it's hard to find workers they will just have to pay lower middle class wages. But truth be told there will always be plenty of dumb poor people working for pennies and willing to pay 4 times the rent to live in LA.

[@RKmndo]

@Loving Reid Who works at the grocery store or Starbucks? Students still supported by parents, or people that have it as a 2nd gig.

[@emanuelriquelmemontoya3819]

@@kkknotcool you are comparing an apartment in oc with a house elsewhere, also 2k is just the bare minimum in oc,in most states there's also less affordable options for people that need to save in order to get ahead.

[@fionasmom6254]

The caller actually sounds stunned when Dave tells her that her mother can no longer live in that house. I mean, WHO does she think is going to make up the difference in the house note?

[@practicalbusinesstips5591]

Great advice from Dave. Very difficult situation. With complex situations such as this, it is best to break up next steps into several small doable steps in order to make progress and not be overwhelmed.

[@GuillermoRodriguez-gu3oq]

She can rent out house for 2700 a month move to Texas problem solved

[@eizhowa]

It is not ideal to rent out a house far from where you live.

[@mikekeenanphd]

Except for the property taxes in Texas. 300k condo will be 600 a month in property tax.

[@staceystrukel1917]

No!

[@travelingnome7211]

Don’t tell people from California to move to Texas. We don’t need that negativity in our lives.

[@MP-nj1qy]

Rent? Then what happen if the house need major renovation?

[@nephetula]

Yes, she MUST sell the house and leave California. An income of only $1200/mo. won't even cover the taxes on a $600k home.

[@lifeisgood070]

$38k with overtime? how is that possible? That's a bad job.

[@JavaScriptJolt]

Ikr 😂

[@nunurbuisness5578]

It's not uncommon at all sadly

[@chasingsunsets87]

There is more of those with that incomr then people realize. It sucks but thats majority of entry level or even union warehouse positions. Hotel industry. I have been use to that income all my life and I grew up in Cupertino. Yes there are better jobs, but they dont just hand them out to everybody and many need income period. It sucks but you can make it work.

[@vtnsbr]

A $600k house should be able to rent for $3k/month easy. Rent it out and put the $1500 monthly cash flow into an apartment.

[@acebragg5559]

What makes you think they're capable of being landlords?

[@vtnsbr]

@@acebragg5559 What makes you think they can't? If she's calling into Dave Ramsey then she's at least financially minded and able to watch KZbin videos to learn how to be a landlord. At worst, subtract 10% for a property manager, and have $1200 cash flow.

[@ellistea1024]

Well, it depends on the house and location as to what it can rent for. But in generally, it's a good option if they for some reason want to try and work it out. However, rent will not be just $1500 a month in a lot of places in OC. Maybe a one bedroom if it's just mom, but otherwise, you're looking at $1800-2000 for a decent sized 2-bedroom. So this should be considered and evaluated by a rental professional. In general, in SoCal, $600K is not a huge amount for decent sized house in decent area, so rent could range from $2500 - $4000.

[@acebragg5559]

The 70 year old woman who went into bankruptcy on a house that costs more than what she makes a month is who we are talking about. Not the caller. And the caller is no financial wiz kid either in case that wasn't evident. Financially savvy people are not the people calling in to a show trying to get out of debt.

[@GodsChild1159]

The house will need repairs, it may be empty at times, and they might get bad tenants who trash the place. These things put them in a worse financial situation.

[@afringedweller]

Heck, my husband and I would be bankrupt too, if we were trying to do it in Orange County. (IMO, move, and go to a Red State) I grew up in a big place in an upper class town, but as an adult, my partner and I only have a single-wide trailer - but we paid for it & the land years ago, we had $ to fix it up nicely, we owe $0, and have peace of mind. Try living below your means, you'll like it.

[@victoriahale5254]

lol go to a trailer park state. Good advice

[@rahulkemp8347]

@@victoriahale5254 well, they live in a trailer, so a trailer park state is a good idea!!

[@ineedhoez]

Red states are poor. Don't do that

[@landonthompson7944]

ineedhoez Really? Interesting how people are fleeing the Blue states like California and New York to avoid their crippling taxes. Nobody leaves Arkansas to retire in New York. San Francisco and LA are just bastions of wealth with their tent cities for the homeless to live in...

[@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381]

They own the land so they are doing fine. @@victoriahale5254

[@marietaylor5174]

Life is too short to be stressed out with unnecessary problems that can be solved by moving. Pronto!

[@Germatti13489]

Wow, I am 61 and my house is paid off, no car payment, and no credit card debt. I can't imagine having to still pay a house payment at 70! And obviouslyshe needs to sell the house but no one said how much she's paid on this house. She may still owe a balance and get very little money back but that's what she has to do.

[@sct4040]

I don't understand why Dave kept on saying they cannot live together. Lots of family do, if they get along, especially if one goes to work anyway. Difficult sometimes but can be done, if your finance requires it.

[@JL-fo9rz]

I hate how Dave don't like anyone living together. It's rediculous for every individual to have their own place with little income especially if they aren't getting married!

[@reymondjames1726]

That's Dave's opinion based on his own experience. By the way, he is correct. The money isn't there.

[@GodsChild1159]

True. If the daughter is benefiting equally they should continue living together. Her mom probably babysits for her so she s saving on childcare. As the daughters income increases so will their economic situation. The daughter will likely inherit the house once mom s passes so if she could help pay it off that is fine.

[@jessicaolson490]

It's more because they aren't maintaining boundaries. If you don't know how to have proper boundaries you won't be able to learn while being so entangled. Basically she shouldn't be paying mom's bills. She could have a rent contract with Mom and maybe an hourly rate for childcare if her mother watches them. however when she does go to move in a few years her mother would need to sell the house or figure out if she makes a bigger profit from renting it out. But if the next 5 years she depends on daughter randomly paying bills she won't be independent. The adult child will feel trapped. All because they don't know proper boundaries.

[@k.g.8503]

Because her mom is a financial disaster.

[@bentleyboy72]

The sullen "okay" response whenever Dave tells someone they have to sell their house shows you how absolutely unprepared people are to face the reality of getting out of extreme debt.

[@mle011]

Ummm $1400/month mortgage and the mom brings in $1200/month??? This is obvious- sell the house!! You legit can not afford it.

[@janettevalenzuela9686]

My Brother lives in a run down condo in orange county built in the 1970s and that condo now cost $650,000. There are no condos for $300,000 in orange county.!

[@trippin9298]

Well then theu need to move to a place that has 300k or cheaper condos

[@deanvere4839]

@@ObjectiveBob Unlikely. Your best hope is the "big one" earthquake.

[@deanvere4839]

@@ObjectiveBob Because the high demand is still there. Which raises the costs of the limited supply of housing.

[@deanvere4839]

@@ObjectiveBob Why do you think there is going to be another Housing bubble when we already had one in 2008?

[@patriciacastrellon3511]

@@deanvere4839 that is what I'm waiting for, then it will be affordable to purchase a home again. Hopefully!!

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

Like how happy she was when Dave gave her Financial Peace University.

[@margaritaavila2778]

Your parents should sell their house and pay all debts. You all can move together like other cultures do. Hispanics, Indian, Pakistani and Syrians. Our elders are part of the family we don't send them to nursing homes.

[@crazybkimber]

I agree & actually my friend who is a realtor told me their building more multi generational homes now due to more families staying together under the same roof, I personally think it's a great idea

[@karenkramer3760]

I couldn't put my mother in a nursing home. And I'm caucasian. But most of my people do I'm ashamed to say

[@martok2008]

Isn't chinese culture also like that?

[@BigRed2]

Karen Kramer I put my mother in a nursing home when she was 60 and she didn’t want to go , she has been there 30 years

[@jessicaolson490]

@John Kevin wow sexist much. The 90 year olds of today are still part of the generation where women couldn't live independently. Women live longer past retirement age too. So the large amount of women single in old age is more due to widowhood. The issue is not because " women decided to go out on their own", but more that people don't plan for retirement. There are in fact cultures where the family is a matriarchy, including some where it is the men that are viewed as useless extras, good only for making babies. People need to realize that humans of both genders are capable of surviving, and one gender is not more infantile than the other. Family structure and wiether a woman can be independent successfully are rooted in culture and that individual person. Ovaries aside.

[@privateprivate8366]

I’m so glad my mother’s finances are separate from mine. She decided to stop adulting in her mid-60s. She stopped filing taxes and paying her credit card bills. Yet, she magically thinks that me and/or my sister are going to quit our lives, ditch our own healthcare and retirement to be her lackeys. She’s displayed obvious signs of NPD and some recent signs of minor memory loss, when she isn’t consciously reinventing history. The 2 properties she was going to leave my sister and I, the state will have to take as, we cannot care for her, when she eventually needs it. Fortunately for her, except for property taxes, the mortgages have been paid off. She’s at least thinking of ending the business she runs as, it makes no profit and runs in the red. The only reason I haven’t gotten the ball rolling on this, is because I’d be working against her and my enabling sister. Plus, she has the right to do as she pleases. So, since the answer is for me to prepare for end of life for myself only, it will leave her in a hole.

[@mydoglayla5045]

Could not imagine having that mortgage at 70 years of age. At that income they don’t pay income tax I don’t think.

[@LaDa620]

She probably refi used house as a atm machine

[@countessratzass5408]

My friend’s mom is 77, bought her house in the 1970s and has never paid it off due to borrowing against it. The home’s value is in the toilet due to drastic decline of the area. Bottom line is she just doesn’t want to sell and nobody can make her.

[@Moneymyke357]

The vagrants in Orange county make more than 35k/yr.

[@brothertn708]

Moneymyke357 😹😹😹

[@ineedhoez]

😂😂😂😂

[@riverdaletales8457]

@@brothertn708 yeah....35k would be fine (if you don't got kids /dependents ) in almost anywhere else but California and or any big state/city like New York

[@brothertn708]

Riverdale tales I’m in LA and everything is expensive here but I don’t see me ever leaving to another state because LA is all I know... but the sad part is that I will never afford to buy a house if I stay here... where do you live?

[@georgewagner7787]

She doesn't want to sell but she has a house payment equal to her income. Doesn't like to eat very much ?

[@M0chaJ0J0]

She needs to sell and move out of Cali.

[@johnmitchell2741]

It really sucks when your parents are broke especially when there older and supporting siblings that won't work

[@drchristineobrien9704]

Tell me about it! Same here :/

[@yvonnemclaughlin4324]

Mom will always live with her daughter!

[@jadebrooks7782]

I know it's hard but I would look for job opportunities in another state.

[@curiouscat3384]

The mother's situation is a NO-BRAINER! She has $300 K equity in her house ??? I'm surprised she's allowed to keep it under Chapter 13. Dave's advice to sell the house and pay cash for a condo is perfect. That's what I did when I retired and I'm living very comfortably with house and car paid for on $1200 mth social security plus a small side gig.

[@brandonallen5930]

The evil word I heard ... HOA !!!!!! Sell and Runnnnnn .

[@edercortes1960]

Brandon Allen ....I’ve been hearing HOA too be bad why is that ?

[@Vera-dg3hf]

@@edercortes1960 because its a money pit! it can go up without notice, its an added expense. some people pay as much as 800 depending on where you live. thats a mortgage and for some people their monthly rent. So why would you have HOA?

[@edercortes1960]

Ballsy Bunny ...I talked to friends and they said depending where you live and depending on the HOa it’s a good service. Obviously no one wants to pay extra expense or anything but hey if these guys are making my neighborhood look good I guess I got to pay the price.

[@michaelh5055]

HOAs are terrible, run!!! The thought of buying a home and then paying a group of people who tell you what you can and cannot do with your own home is just stupid. My realtor told me that HOAs decrease the value of a home. Many people learn that a home for sale has a hoa and run.

[@TheStarz2826]

I completely disagree with Dave’s advice. The mom is actually helping the daughter out by having really low rent. A one bedroom apartment in Orange County, California goes for a minimum of $1500. Good luck paying rent with a 35k income. How many rooms is the house? They should rent a room and use that money plus the social security to pay off the mortgage and utilities. Then, live off the daughters income for food bills etc. Plus, I’m sure grandmother can provide free child care for the mom to get a side job for extra income. Keep the house!! You won’t be able to find affordable rent in Orange County like that anymore

[@tendentiousproductions9714]

$1400 for a house payment in Orange County! That’s cheap. Not sure you’re gonna find a better deal

[@thomasreedy4751]

$600-$700 a month sounds cheap in California or anywhere. It sounds to me like they both have low income and are pooling their money to survive.

[@clair233]

How are they living in orange county ?

[@danielakasmart2891]

Suga Daddy drops by every now and then

[@NK-ke6yy]

Danielakasmart, LOL

[@Skweepa]

They used not paying their bills: bankruptcy. Only works for a little while, I guess.

[@divinebydesign20]

Pretty sure her mom hasn't always been on disability living in orange county.

[@HermannTheGreat]

Yep, time to sell and move to a much cheaper area.

[@_Chula_]

Dave keeps saying it's a 1400 house on 1200 income, but that's not true, is it? The 1200 income is the (grand)mom's income, the other income is 3000 a month as well, if they keep living together surely that would be a shared household income of 4200 a month?

[@thescrub4279]

He is saying the mom should live in a house she can afford on her own

[@synthia6428]

4200-1400 is 2800, but she has to still pay for utilities, car payment, car insurance, student loans, and credit card payments on top of house maintenance. It's not impossible if she lived in a cheaper part of the country, but they live in Cali soooooo

[@autohelix]

She's not taking home $3,000 a month with a $35,000 a year job. Taxes buddy taxes. More like $2000.

[@jessicaolson490]

They aren't married. XP even if she paid 600 rent you still can't live off 400$ a month with that much debt.

[@Meira750]

Yep! And what can the daughter rent within commuting distance of what sounds like a great job for $600?

[@j.rothchild173]

Yes! I work medical field in Texas and my patients are living the life after abandoning California!!!

[@AT-lp8qg]

there so many ways this can be dealt with. 1. get mom to low income housing, apply now, the wait will be years. 2. live with mom and pay half the mortgage and treat it as rent. Can't really find a decent place, or renting a stranger room for $700/m in SoCal. If there extra room, rent it out. Or save up some cash (around 10k) and see if you can renovate/ put up a wall to make a new room. This would help get extra income/cash. Live together until mom get to her turn for a low-income housing, then sell the house and move her in. Mom will need that cash later down the road for assisted living and nursing home. 3. Sell the house and move out of state. Find a cheap condo for $100-150k paid off, and live within their means.

[@bellmeisterful]

All I could think before I clicked was awww poor elderly mom

[@MrsThollo]

Thought I heard $324,000 REMAINING for the house (hands were messy so I couldn't rewind) I glanced over to see where they live. Don't know much about Orange County except they can't afford to live there. At least not in that house...

[@simplypatti6705]

“...it’s not rocket science.” Dave can be savage.

[@nickiiyoungblood9891]

You can not live on social security if you have any debt at all! Why oh why do people try to retire when they can’t afford it? People need to prepare to retire.

[@oldtwinsna8347]

At $1200 it sounds like it might be a survivor's benefit from the husband who died. Not like she has a choice.

[@Nilsosmar]

*Re: the house payment being more than Mom's income -- one thing people in "mom's" situation might look into is whether their mortgage payment can be lowered, either in a refinance or by doing a MORTGAGE RECAST, particularly if she's paid off a lot of the loan already. A recast doesn't change your rate or amount owed or the length of your loan; it just adjusts it to what you currently owe. It works best if you have done some principal prepayments along the way.* *My friend did this when she retired, and it saved her life financially. Her mortgage payment was $2300/month. This had been fine when she was working but she was retiring and going on social security and would only be making $2600 a month, and could not pay the full $2300 anymore because it would have left her only $300 a month to live on. Luckily she had made lots of principal prepayments early in the loan, so owed less on the loan than the original amortization tables had predicted. The recast reset her payments at only $1300/month.*

[@ariefraiser140]

I want to know how in the world her mother qualified for that loan.

[@cutehumor]

She probably quit her full time job, when she turned 62 years old to collect that free social security check.

[@texan903]

Social Security is not free. She worked so many years/quarters to become a payee after a certain age.

[@cutehumor]

You are right. It's an entitlement muahaha

[@texan903]

@@cutehumor Anyone who doesn't know that workers pay into the Social Security trust fund, is an idiot. That's why Americans are being clowned on a daily basis to the point we are.

[@cutehumor]

@@texan903 when entitlement reform happens, she will feel the pain for sure.

[@JoyofRVing]

Poverty line in California is 60K and below.

[@ctmom2114]

If your income is $1200 and your mortgage is normally $1200 (currently paying $1400 due to not paying property taxes)=you can't afford the home. Duh! Where's the household budget? $1200 has to also cover utilities, clothing, food, etc.

[@Pampersweetsoapcakes]

Buy two small places near each other after you sell. Then you have your own spaces while supporting each other.

[@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381]

My family has done this sort of arrangement among family members a number of times and it has worked well for us over the generations. We are close enough for us to have dinners together a lot of the time, help each other out with things.

[@wendykeegan2519]

Dave, would her applying for an affordable apartment be another solution? I was living in her situation. I now have a 1 bedroom apartment I can afford and yes have 3 meals a day. There are programs galore she can apply for/to. I'm also receiving $134 SNAP + $16 for the disabled. I'm eating beans and rice 4 nights a week... however, I AM EATING. My apartment has no bugs or lice (what typical folks classify us in). If there is a need, from listeners of the Dave Ramsey Show, needing these government services? Maybe the Dave Ramsey Show can start an advocacy group for listeners in this situation? Its not pretty or stylish to be in these types of situations. Respectfully submitted, Wendy Keegan

[@amandawalker1196]

Wendy Keegan He doesn’t ever promote applying for government assistance. He wants people to learn how to get out of debt and grow wealth by working as hard as they can without relying on government subsidies. If someone is disabled, that’s a different story. But when you’re a perfectly able body, you just gotta work harder, longer, and smarter. If you rely on government assistance 1) you get comfortable 2) you’ll never get out of debt that way. It’s a catch 22 really. You need to assistance to get by but if you’re working the way you should be, it won’t be long before you’re overqualified for the assistance. Really, it’s just about working 60 hours a week versus 40.

[@wendykeegan2519]

Maybe a compromise where the receiver of assistance pays back the funds? Like volunteer for Habitat for Humanity? Volunteer 4 hours on a weekday/end? However, either way the able person is working to pay back funds. (I'd say food for thought … in my case beans and rice for thought. Thank you Amanda for taking the time to explain this side of the discussion.

[@amandawalker1196]

Wendy Keegan I think in theory, that’s a fantastic idea. But I don’t think in reality it would work. I think there are so many strings and legalities behind it, and how do we make sure people are holding up their end of the deal?. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against government assistance, my family was on it when I was a kid. But in my opinion, I think you should only be allowed on it for a certain amount of time (barring any physical disabilities. My dad was disabled so he wasn’t able to work) but my point is, people become so lazy because they can depend on it. The unemployment rate is extremely low and jobs are everywhere. People just got to want to work🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MisaMouri]

Amanda Walker, for the very elderly that's not always possible. That's why we have those programs is to help the elderly and infirm.

[@Pandorash8]

I don’t understand how some people can’t figure out they’re in a bad situation. And yet, my parents and I are also tied together financially because of their bad decisions (and my naivety in my youth that I now can’t undo). We’re in a much better way than this young woman, but I listen to people’s stories with incredulity, and yet my family is stupid too.

[@shannon2748]

I don't understand. Why are you letting their bad decisions affect your life??? You're an adult, not a 10 year old.

[@Pandorash8]

@@shannon2748 as an adult I make the decision to not evict my parents, who have a heart condition and cancer, and let them be homeless. They’re good people, they’ve just made some bad life decisions and now are stuck in circumstances they can’t physically work their way out of. So save your many questions marks and passive aggression lol.

[@MrShycity55]

She should stay with mom

[@PoeLemic]

I thought same thing. I'm doing that with my mother, because she needs me.

[@denisegirmer4550]

I agree ...even if they end up in a hut together . You dont leave ur mom

[@carojames6776]

@@denisegirmer4550 Some adults can become very selfish and forget their parent(s) especially in their hour of need I Would NEVER do that to my mum.

[@goldenj1981]

Sorry I completely disagree. Her mom lived her life the way she chose and she should be able to do the same. She deserves a life if her own.

[@misspriss2482]

@@carojames6776 Some adults are extremely selfish and take advantage of their adult children. If your parents end up in an hour of need due to their poor financial decisions and/or stubborn refusal to live within their means, it is not the child's job to bail them out or hurt their own financial future for the sake of the parents. You don't owe your parents your entire life. Good parents raise their children to have lives of their own, not expect them to spend the rest of their lives "paying" them back.

[@starvinmarvin7964]

Move to the south, preferably Texas, it ain't so bad down there and way cheaper to live. As a surfer I absolutely love California, but there's no way I could ever live there. I dont see how anyone does unless you're rich.

[@ransom182]

Yikes what a mess.

[@acebragg5559]

This could turn into 'Grey Gardens - California Edition'.

[@beachlife3738]

1400 for rent in Orange County is cheap.. I would rent a room out to make extra cash..

[@karenkramer3760]

yep

[@bengali481]

True. Our 2 bedroom is almost $2k a month, and that's pretty average.

[@ip4157]

Mom could rent part of her house out if you get your own place.

[@GaryFowler2906]

They should keep the house and rent out the extra bedrooms

[@ShadaeMastersAstrology]

Jim Cooke That’s a good idea, she’d just have to be really careful about that because she has children in the house. There are some sick people in this world.

[@ocky88]

@@ShadaeMastersAstrology yeah. Kids and a 70 year old mom. Not safe to have strangers there

[@lenas5613]

Is it enough for upkeep on the house & taxes???

[@debbieframpton3857]

I disagree with Dave on this one I would never buy a condo you will always have HOA fees

[@MariaInIowa]

I think she does medical coding, not computer coding, and I think that threw Dave a little. The CTC will help, and he is correct that there are more credentials she can add that will also help, but honestly this is a field that is rapidly losing ground to AI and before she invests too much more energy in it I would suggest she reconsider her career choice.

[@MaggieClarkSLC]

Great advice, Dave!

[@araineacutebrownnurse7315]

Lord have mercy! A 600,000 home with no money in CALIFORNIA 😩!

[@panyapandabear]

Why would you buy 9000++ car when you make only 35k with student loan? I’m making 34k, bought a 2k car in cash, and debt free. My car runs GREAT!

[@trudifruty6078]

She can buy a small house with NO HOA FEES she will have to move were houses are cheaper

[@stevee8318]

You would think pretty much anyone would realize that they can't afford house payments that are MORE than their income. Yeesh.

[@lisarusso9003]

You can’t retire with a mortgage

[@GuillermoRodriguez-gu3oq]

I disagree she can rent out 2 bedrooms at 750 each.

[@beautifulmess2023]

Guillermo Rodriguez I would not want strangers in a 70 year olds house

[@apeiceofmoldedclay]

Sell her home and move into a paid for condo with your mom and kids. Increase your income in the next 3 years and move out when your kids are too big for the condo.

[@nukemaster0382]

Person: I can't support my family member! Dave: hOw MuCh dO YoU OwE oN YoUr CaR

[@nukemaster0382]

Yeah it's a freaking joke kiddos

[@amandawalker1196]

Lol. Every.single.time.

[@surelock3221]

I think Nuke Master bought a $20,000 car with a $30,000 salary

[@Joe-jc5ol]

And it is amazing how many people make that same mistake

[@madameclark3453]

$1,400 month mortgage in Orange County is way Cheaper than rent. Rent in Orange County can be $2,400 month and higher.

[@queen.kristal8395]

This is ridiculous.70 years old and filing bankruptcy,what she do with her money??She did bad decisions.She should have had House almost paid off.

[@oldtwinsna8347]

My guess is that her husband unexpectedly died while he was still employed, being the bread winner for the household their entire life. She was a stay-at-home mom and is only getting the 1200 as a survivor's benefit. There may have been some retirement fund available the husband saved up but it wasn't enough and it burned up quickly. Southern California is hideously expensive even if you try to live frugally.

[@gabrielaone1619]

Their income is too low for OC, and hard to find a condo for $300....what surprises me the most, is she qualified for a $600 loan bringing in such a low salary.

[@petem3162]

Each one can pay $700. They should make it. Is better to live with you mother than with strangers.

[@JL-fo9rz]

Dave Ramsey don't think so. He's full of s*** about that subject! Families stick together. Nursing homes are a waste of money.

[@pseudonymshqipe854]

@@JL-fo9rz It's the selfish and American way.

[@cynthiamarquez3370]

We live with my mil in San Bernardino County.and we help pay bills...the house is paid for but there is still taxes...insurance...utilities plus helping out around the house....that's what family is supposed to do. This is a a common way to live here in so cal....the rent for a 1 bedroom apt would easily be 1400$ in OC...not a better situation.

[@lemongrass3945]

She needs to leave California. You can not afford to live there making $35k

[@hanhphucnguyen2927]

Live in one room and rent out the other rooms to help pay mortgage