Should I Be Working More To Pay Off Debt?

💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...

[@curiouscat3384]

Uber and pizza delivery are stupid ideas for this man. A structural engineer should be able to get some contract remote work with architects/builders. And she should be able to do contract work with an agency for as many hours as comfortable for both of them with someone always home with the babies. AND they could stretch it out for a year or two until the kids are older. Gazelle Intense is good advice to get people motivated but it doesn't have to LITERALLY be every second of your life working towards debt in this guy's situation.

[@khalils6296]

They werent literally telling him to uber and deliver pizzas dumbass . They were saying that he was a "grindsr" and that he would do what ever it takes even if it included that

[@rrrealitycheck]

I agree that he could probably find a part time engineer job rather than Uber but you can’t be gazelle intense if you’re not… ya know, um, gazelle intense. Duh. The reason we tell folks to be gazelle intense is so that they feel the pain of being in debt and never want to go back to it. If you just lollygag out of debt then you never feel the pain and are much more likely to go back into debt. This man and his wife both need to feel the weight of debt so they never go back to it.

[@mathieujulien28]

you right, this guy can do overtime insted of stupid uber, he has a good degree ..!

[@curiouscat3384]

@@rrrealitycheck How is getting a second job in his trained field NOT going gazelle intense? You're just mindlessly quoting the Ramsey cheer when he's talking in generalities.

[@rrrealitycheck]

@@curiouscat3384 I didn’t say it wasn’t being gazelle intense if he got a second job in his trained field. Not sure where you got that from. 🙄 Why are you being so derogatory about what Dave Ramsey teaches? Why is it mindless to reiterate the reason to be gazelle intense?

[@MindsetMastery148]

You can hear the distress in his voice. Keep on moving forward Sean.

[@curiouscat3384]

He's carrying the weight and the worry on his shoulders. John's first advice is key - they need to agree on the goal. Create a vision and commitment together. And STOP having babies before you're financially ready people!

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@curiouscat3384 If the gal screws up and does not take her birth control on time, then it is on her. Having relations is a stress reliever.

[@curiouscat3384]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Then wear a condom if you don't trust "the gal".

[@PremiumFuelOnly]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Well....for every action, theres a reaction.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@PremiumFuelOnly Not if the gal knows how to use her birth control!

[@suen5006]

I think with a new baby and one little one they should put that gazelle intensity on the back burner for a few months. The situation still will be the same but you can never get that time back with your little ones.

[@ghostbird92]

This is the sort of dilemma people don't talk about much. It's so common but not really given much thought before having kids.

[@whitneyw.7919]

I’m glad John answered this not Dave Ramsey. Dave would’ve said Go Work 120 hours a week so mama can stay home with babies.

[@alqoshgirl]

And he would be right. Mom at home is best and a lot of work already. Him working a little more than 40 hrs isn’t a problem. He’s acting like a wimp. It’s temporarily if he want to go through this quick.

[@sixthangel9716]

You don't have a whole lot of debt. Maybe its ok to just work your full time job, the wife stays home for 6 months to a year, enjoy this time together and enjoy the baby, live frugally. Then in about 6 months to a year she can find a part time job or a full time, both kids can be in a good daycare. Within 1 to 2 years the debt would also be gone. You can't reverse time you spend with your baby. It goes by so fast.

[@deb9806]

This is a few minute thing, can she handle it alone, do they have grandparents near by. I couldn't afford the type of daycare I would have wanted, so stayed home. I did per diem at the hosptial I worked at when I could under the hours my police officer husband was home. It wasn't easy, some credit cards got used for car emergencies and home (water heater) but I made sure all was paid off but mortgage before baby so it stayed manageable. They need to figure out something that works for them.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

We need better written English. "You don't have a whole lot of debt. Maybe it is okay to. Just work your full time job. The wife stays home for 6 months. Enjoy this time together and enjoy the baby, but live frugally. Then in about 6 months to a year, she can find a part time job or a full time. Both kids can be in a good daycare then. Within 1 to 2 years, the debt would also be gone. You can't reverse time you spend with your baby. It goes by fast."

[@umgazel4785]

Best advice I’ve seen. Mother should be able to stay home 6-12 months and save through frugality.

[@workinonit9562]

$100,000 is a whole lot of debt!

[@OopThereItIs77777]

THIS

[@mikeshaw4610]

Agree, if your wife stays home you need to work extra. There is nothing wrong with that. One of the keys, as they indicated, is to have a plan and show progress. The progress may be slow at first but will the start snowballing and you will be able to see good progress. Keep focused on what this will look like in 2-3 years when you owe nothing.

[@jimroscovius]

She can work too. My wife did, and we had two kids.

[@rangequeen]

She spent almost 100k on a degree! She needs to pay for that.

[@annt2685]

She should be working, it’s her debt, her degree!!

[@jimroscovius]

@@annt2685 They're married, so it's their debt, not her debt. But yes, she should be working.

[@dzl4546]

He needs to work extra and miss time that he will never get back? Nope. Sorry they BOTH created this mess. They can BOTH clean it up with gazelle intensity in a year or so once the baby is old enough. OR they could live on MUCH less and throw every extra dollar at the debt if they really wanted to. Let’s remember these are not minimum wage earners.

[@tubenachos]

Dang you can hear the stress on this dude's voice stay strong 💪

[@xoxrazzyxox]

I would keep working, even if it was a net negative with childcare if I could afford it. Studies have shown that women who stay at home with children struggle far more to get back into their original field and make the money they would have been making if they hadn’t had a career break. I also don’t think I could stand to see my husband falling apart under the strain if I could help.

[@wintercame]

Agreed. In this case with the demand for SLPs, she can make good money - even part time. But it's important to keep the foot in the creek.

[@antonioinoa6961]

Even if wife made $90,000 and $30,000 of goes to child care that’s still atleast $60,000 in additional new income that can be use to shred off debt

[@cutehumor]

When the dad gets off work from his engineer job, he can get stay at home and babysit the kids at night, and the mom gets a part time job from 5pm-9pm Monday through Friday or pick up 8 hour shifts on saturday/sunday. This way He gets to spend time with the kids and the wife contributes income to the home

[@edhcb9359]

That’s a great recipe for divorce.

[@absdotunfish]

How many kids you have raised following this advice?

[@mbank3832]

or dont get married or have kids lol.

[@jimroscovius]

@absdotunfish We had two kids and we both worked. For a while, we did split shifts. Not ideal, but we did what we had to do. Then we both got better jobs and had daycare in a private home where she also took care of her own kids. Today, people just want to be lazy.

[@actuallyterry]

Or she could look after an extra kid perhaps in an after school capacity?

[@Miggy2222]

How come people don’t feel bad going into debt when they receive the loans and only start to feel bad when they have to pay them back?

[@itsanoformethanks6277]

Most people haven’t been taught the true ramifications of going into debt. Having debt (college, cars, houses, credit cards) is taught as normal and sought after

[@MC-dr4vp]

This isn’t hard. She can take clients in the evening & weekends when he’s home. They both get to spend time with the kids. Extra money comes in.

[@mattpalmq]

100% I don't know why anyone didn't suggested that. He gets a break from work and gets to be a present father and she gets to do something away from the kids while at the same time helping to pay off the debt.

[@Rashaadthegr8]

The amount of trust you have to have in someone to not to work is outstanding. Always have multiple streams of income. Never depend on nobody but God and yourself.

[@sumisumi5214]

Exactly! Women should contribute financially. Stay at home mom for first 5 years of the child’s is fine but after that she should work too or have a home business.

[@bigcahuna42366]

We're cheering for you Sean, hold your head up high

[@Jim_Curtis]

She needs to work as much as she can since this is their joint financial mess.

[@cmowers9]

I have been there and I worked two jobs and had a side business while my wife stayed home and taught our children to read and other social skills. Our son's are community leaders now and are in the genius level now as adults.

[@Rjmr19]

100k in student debt and “let's have another kid”!!!

[@itisAlex_]

I will never understand that!

[@subjecttochrist]

Because when you’re old, less fertile - statistically speaking

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

Could be to relieve stress that is coming from the loan. Think about how a baby is created.

[@nailatiylluf]

Because some of us aren’t so afraid of debt we’ll literally put our entire lives on hold. I’m willing to bet you have/had a mortgage it’s not like you’re unable to raise a family.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@nailatiylluf But that's the thing, you have to afford that life. Say you were in a world where you were criminally charged every time you progressed through life without paying an entry fee (paying to have a kid, paying to get married, paying, etc.). You would not be where you are right now if you could not pay passed those milestones.

[@sprint7412]

I work 50 hours a week now. Only have one day off. I went almost a year working everyday but then i got so frustrated at not having time I put in a two week notice. The company was desperate to get workers so they offered a raise if I stayed so I took it, but also lowered my hours there. I don't have children but I can't see myself having time to be with them at even 50hours a week. I think the mom needs to step up and get a parttime job to keep her husband from being stressed and wearnedout. All her paychecks could go to debt and husband's pay will be for necessities.

[@sumisumi5214]

This is what we did. All my paychecks went to pay off our debts including the house, cars, kid’s university fees and my husband’s salary paid to run the household. Now we are saving to pay for their wedding. Of course this time the kids will contribute for their wedding.

[@user-pp8ic9jo7n]

My brother wife is a PA spent tons on college and will only work part time now!! They have 3 small children and my brother works tons pay the bills .

[@FreeAgent797]

WOW!!!....unbelievable smh

[@dustyrhodes2717]

Yep, this is a very common theme. They get these degrees and want to stay at home with the kids.

[@rebeccazeman9309]

Lol this is so strange bc this is exactly the case with my SIL. They have 3 kids and she went to school to be a PA but only works 2 days a week now. I really think more women need to consider their goals before they go to college and get an expensive degree. If you know for sure you want quite a few kids and want to be a stay at home mom then it seems silly to waste money on an expensive degree. Obviously life doesn't always work out the way we plan but still, if you know your ideal situation is to be a SAHM then rethink your degree. Or at least do something that's just a bachelor's.

[@user-pp8ic9jo7n]

@@rebeccazeman9309 Yeah she also works 1 or 2 days a wk and has a nanny.

[@chickmcgee1000]

I can’t muster much empathy for people processing that much combined education and lack the most basic of life skills.

[@danieljohnson4418]

Slow and steady wins the race. 😉

[@pamelaburleson2063]

She needs to look for something parttime and online that she can do from home. My local school district has multiple different position types that are 15 hours a week from home that she'd be more than qualified to do.

[@hunternotbiden]

Man up. It will be okay. Appreciate your spirit. My dad was a pediatrician and was gone a lot saving lives. So the expectations that you are a dad around all the time. The important thing is the wife is free to care for the kids.

[@user-ey4hd3cp9q]

Wife ought to help pay off her degree but then can go back to being a SAHM.

[@funsize5441]

They def can afford childcare...I 😂 when he tried to use that as an excuse 😂😂😂

[@jrey1]

The problem is, if you pitch her the idea (at the end of the call) that putting them thru daycare and her working can net them $500 a month, she'll never go for it 😂

[@jimroscovius]

I get tired of the "can't afford daycare" excuse. We had private in-home daycare. You don't need the most expensive daycare in the neighborhood.

[@curiouscat3384]

And a speech pathologist should be able to do contract work and work odd hours like weekends or after 5:00 to accommodate the client's work schedule.

[@jimroscovius]

@@curiouscat3384 They're just being lazy.

[@BrianW211]

@@curiouscat3384 If it's possible, that is the best answer. Have her work part time and he can take care of the kids while she's working.

[@nailatiylluf]

I had this exact conversation with my wife and we both agreed trading $500 a month for 40 hours a week with our kids was worth it. These dogmatic fools don’t know what they’re talking about and will regret it later.

[@denischiaravalle1793]

As an engineer he should be able to make 180 not 90. That is his problem

[@elliemin5076]

Babies truly need their mommies!

[@rangequeen]

I agree. Mama shouldn’t have racked up 100k in debt for a degree she isn’t going to use…

[@johnlanier3616]

They need their Father's as well

[@amireallythatgrumpy6508]

Only if their father can teach them not to use apostrophes to indicate plurals. @@johnlanier3616

[@14elvira14]

She needs to work

[@leb3018]

We're in a similar position, a 2 year old with another on the way. We decided that having a parent with our children was more important than anything else so my wife is a full time mum and loves it (yes it's hard). I now have a 9-5 plus deliver pizza from 6-10/11 most nights, plus renovating our home on a weekends. I see this as a 2-3 year thing that will see us clear our debts and build a full emergency fund. I still spend time with my son, we work on the house together, we eat together and I help out in the nights when he can't sleep. This all works because my wife and I spoke about it and continue to speak to make sure it's still working. Sure it's not easy but I feel responsible for providing a good future for my family and a few hard years now will secure that and by the time by children are 2 and 4 we will be debt free and able to enjoy the rest of our lives as a family so much better.

[@Loruca]

It bothers me when people with small children are advised to take on extra jobs. No matter how fast you can track it, the kids need their parents. I'd rather see some of the advice include ways of living more frugally.

[@Jmc989]

Yup! There needs to be a balance. They may need to work more, but you better be darn sure the kids are getting a lot of quality time with their parents that young.

[@catchingupproductions]

God bless this show, God bless the callers. Sean if you ever read this. Comment a reply. 🙏🏾 Amen

[@rangequeen]

You can be a career woman or a SAHM but not both. You took out 90k in loans, you need to pay that off. This shouldn’t be on him.

[@dolcebambina84]

Why get a student loan if the plans are to stay home I mean why incur those expensive debts and decide to stay home

[@Sizukun1]

Because she can have her kids, get him to pay off her debt, divorce him and get a guaranteed paycheck from him for the next 2 decades, and start her career after the separation and be praised for doing all that.

[@BrianW211]

@@dolcebambina84 Plans? If they had actually done any planning, they would've intentionally delayed having children for 18 months and paid off the student loans with her full-time income.

[@MrTmenzo]

The woman version of winning the lottery: rack up debt as a single person and once you meet a partner get pregnant and let the dude pay the debt off.

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

@@dolcebambina84so she can have a career and able to get a job and pay the bills when she leaves him and divorces him but has him pay off the debt for her degree

[@subjecttochrist]

My wife came into the marriage w $30k in debt for a early childhood development degree, to pursue teaching credential… when kids came into the picture we decided it’d be best to have her stay home w the kids. We were $80k in debt w car payments and credit cards included. 2 years later, we were debt free. Sold the cars, to get rid of the car loans, then slow burned the rest of the debt away using the snowball technique. Wasn’t anything special, just diligence. YOU CAN DO THIS! Now we got baby #2, moved out of CA to a red state, where I have new opportunities, and advancing in career, and my wife is getting better at managing the house/kids. One of the hard parts of family life, is remembering that the vision you have for your family has a price tag, and trade offs. Is it worth missing the precious years of your own child’s infancy/toddler years to afford a massive house/car payment? Or, can those debt payments be sacrificed to create a healthy/wholesome environment? When you’re already on the path of materialism, sometimes it can feel daunting to hit the brakes and reverse course… but it’s possible, and as a man: your wife will be happier for your decision to avoid the rat race.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

Good thing you moved out of California. You would have had to split everything 50% in a divorce.

[@subjecttochrist]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 when you get married, you are not your own anymore: you belong to your spouse and your spouse belongs to you. People get divorced largely because this aspect of self sacrifice - AKA LOVE - is unknown. People who think about “their” stuff and “my” percentages of this or that, are the ones likely to get a divorce. Hopefully you find real love, in Jesus Christ, before you enter into a marital covenant. Without Jesus you can do nothing.

[@MissDuke2012]

Remember not to bring blue politics to your new state. There’s a reason you left.

[@subjecttochrist]

@@MissDuke2012 and to this I lovingly say: “DOY!!” 😜

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@MissDuke2012 I am surprised Republicans have wives because they hate freeloaders.

[@C19732]

I had kids with my ex partner and had a low paid job and had to rely on government support, then I got a well paid job, I was doing alot of hours I paid about a quarter of the mortgage off in 10 months, she kicked off because the government support decrease to almost nothing. Tried to tell her in just a few years we would be mortgage free and no need to have the government support and have a good standard of living for all of us. It's all about pride to support your family. Now my kids are old enough now and work hard for there money with no debt.

[@SPORTSREACTIONS]

I gotta disagree with working Saturdays and Sundays along with during the week. God calls and requires us to rest (4th commandment) so definitely get your rest as God knows best and you’ll be even better off with your work!

[@marcmontalvo787]

Dad, work 10 hours a day mon-fri Mom work 12-16 hours a day sat and sun. And now you have extra income, and you still have time worh your kids. This is for after maternity leave of course, when mom can be without baby for a ling period of time

[@ccsmith2937]

Dad need to work extra & mom needs to pick up work as an SLP on weekends while dad watches kids. Get family to help with the kids since they are young. 💡👍

[@PapaBearDuverge]

We on the same boat man. Wife doesn't care, is what's hard for me.

[@mbank3832]

It is getting more and more pointless to get married and have kids nowadays. I even have friends got into those "mess" simply because they want to make others happy, whether it is to make their parents happy, or make their bf/gf happy, or follow the tradition of "go to school, get good grade, get good job, get married, have kids". Sure, there are people that love that kind of fun, but calls like this proves these people doing it just because they have to, not because they want to.

[@terricox3559]

Less pointless? Im confused do you mean more

[@BrianW211]

I'm gonna say that the vast majority of people don't think about any of that. They have kids because they enjoy having sex.

[@terricox3559]

@@BrianW211 well that's ridiculous. You can have sex without having children.

[@mbank3832]

@@BrianW211 so you think a condom is more expensive than baby diapers (and so much more expenses ). No wonder why society is so screwed with these creatures keep reproducing

[@BrianW211]

@@terricox3559 Of course you can, but it's ridiculous to think that anything close to the majority of people have children because they planned to have them vs. having children because they weren't thinking about it and weren't using birth control or because their method of birth control failed.

[@MisterNightfish]

I don't understand why women who want to be stay at home wives need these degrees first. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but why take out these loans for no reason? Why pay 100k for a degree you aren't using?

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

To con guys into marrying them. Not that hard to figure out.

[@bigcahuna42366]

Exactly, the majority of suburban women after WWII living the American dream didn't go to college. One of the reasons they had an easier time making it work on their husband's income was because most of them didn't pile up a ton of student loan debt.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

@@bigcahuna42366 That and no community laws.

[@shanep2760]

I asked my wife that same question and she said "I needed a back up plan" 😆

[@DM15000]

Being a SAHM isn’t long term. Kids grow and leave the home. There’s nothing wrong with getting a degree then going full time with it after the kids start school or leave the nest. There are also people who end up dead or too injured to work. Having the degree allows SAHMs to have a better financial situation if they get divorced or the spouse dies unexpectedly.

[@P_Rodd]

Not sure the math adds up on that, 500 extra a month going at 100k. Maybe without childcare either now with friend or family, or in like 6 years when all kids are in school, then you'll have 1 or 2 k extra each month. But still 6 years of 6k a year and then like 3 years of 2k a month, so about 9 to 10 years realistically.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

File for IDR. Kids comes first.

[@danielsimonson3484]

There are companies that offer counseling over the phone. The wife could schedule out a couple hours in the evening after he gets off work and actually bring an income into the house.

[@wintercame]

In speech pathology? How does that work?

[@bps7209]

It’s what I did, one year I had more OT than I had regular hours. That was over 2,000 OT hours. An extremely difficult and hard year. I wouldn’t advise it to anyone.

[@mistermister124]

but those checks were crazy sweet and I bet you got a lot of bills paid and dollars stashed

[@bps7209]

@@mistermister124 I believe then I was making about $10 an hour, but we had a fire that year and after 60 hours we went up to $22 an hour. Paid off that single wide. Lol. It’s when inflation was ungodly and it’s all we could afford back in the 80’s. I think our interest rate was over 15% at the time. Tough, but still very good times.

[@jjl499]

I worked 84 hrs a week for 9 months to save and pay debt in debt free but don’t have much in the bank….

[@jimmymcgill6778]

1 can work at night, the other can work during the day.

[@maryt7468]

Im not a fan of this advice. They say “don’t put yourself in or that situation” but then they say further down the road “it’s either struggle for two years or struggle for 15 years” which is just as extreme and is also in accurate. A family can slow down on the debt snowball when their children are infants and toddlers, Childcare is incredibly expensive so even if she went back to work, she may not be breaking much over the top for a sacrificial situation there. If she wants to do that that’s fine, some women are called to their careers, but if she doesn’t, it is best for that child to stay home with mom.

[@karimelmoutawakil7295]

Cild care takes $2200 a month from me every freaking month for 2 kids and I hate it

[@sumisumi5214]

She could do part time job. So when he comes home after work he could watch the child. In this way he could spend quality time with his child. Bills get paid off faster, no need for paying for child care and both have time to spend with their child. It’s a win win.

[@lkj0822g]

So, this couple goes to one of Ramsey's "financial peace university" seminars and is bombarded with "you're broke, you have to get gazelle intense, you have to work three jobs and pay these debts off in twelve months, buy our books, oh, did we say we have a budget app you can subscribe to?" Take a deep breath, toss the Ramsey books in the fireplace, work on the car note and the personal loan, set the student loans up on a reasonable amortization schedule, spend time with your babies and your wife.

[@marcenelj]

Hes earning only 90k as a structural engineer? Structural engineers usually make a lot more than that. They make more money in the civil engineering field. He might not have his PE or SE license yet.

[@aolvaar8792]

Could be a government worker>>20%/20% going to a Pension.

[@tmi4507]

@@aolvaar8792 Government work is only if he is not a federal employee. As a federal employee he wouldn’t make much more at all than what he’s making now. If he did contract work or worked for the DOE or another gov organization that isn’t a federal pay scale then he’d make much more. Plus 20% doesn’t go to a pension under the FERS. The pension is only worth anything if you work for the government for 20-30 years

[@aolvaar8792]

@@tmi4507 The OP comment was about only $90K. A State engineer with a pension, I see $90K as correct.

[@Jon-ro2ws]

She could go back part time. Dad could work say the Saturday and a couple of evenings. Pay it off steadily and enjoy some time together.

[@jaygiant10]

Damn bro I felt bro pain

[@keithredsox36]

Even if they pay off all of that consumer debt, they still don’t make enough to afford a mortgage and invest 15% realistically they need to be making 140k minimum these days. But she needs to go back to work. It would be different if she makes 30k gross but she probably makes 70k.

[@americansupertramp]

People needs to find out what couses them babies.

[@scotdavis8094]

He is concerned about being a "bad husband" working extra to pay off his wife's student loan? You can' make this sh*t up.

[@tustak]

Bad parenting started with too much loans. The income problem is just a result

[@spaceman7922]

An exceptional coaching.

[@ryanj357]

Watching these videos about marriage and kids makes glad I’m not married lol.

[@mbank3832]

Get married, they say. You will be happy, they say... this guy is in serious depression right now

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

Same bro I will never get married I enjoy my freedom and my money and peace! Stay single and stay in the gym 💪🏾

[@FreeAgent797]

Me to bro🤣🤣

[@edhcb9359]

OMG! “40+ hours per week”? What a huge sacrifice! 🙄

[@terricox3559]

I think he meant as it stands he works full time so anything more is then taking away from time currently dedicated to the wife and kids

[@ChrisP-in8qr]

​@@terricox3559this guy is a wise guy, full of bitterness who couldn't resist from commenting

[@nataliazakula3400]

She should stay with babies as they thrive best with continuous nurture in early months. However she can’t complain if he’s not there and doesn’t help around house. In 2 years she reenters workforce and they can then smash it out.

[@KO-zi2xf]

I'm new here. Who are these guys? Where's Dave?

[@flashthecorgi2053]

George Kamel (He’s on the money side on the Ramsey personality team) and Dr. John Delony (a trained counselor who is there to find out psychologically what is causing the money problems? Dave always says “personal finance is 20% head knowledge, and 80% behavior. The great and wonderful Dr. Delony helps with the behavior part!

[@neisci]

Those people never heard of working from home?

[@Jose-ht2lw]

90k is goog money. Wonder what is the breakdown of that

[@karnypharax1917]

yea they did not get into the weeds of where the money was going.

[@jackelineponce4768]

Average mortgage payment is maybe $2,300, vehicle loans, student loans, and daycare in my hometown is $23,000 a year (this is the cheaper one too) for one child… 90K is not good money and that’s a terrifying truth.

[@mwilging]

This debt tracks. I racked up about $100k for not quite 4 years of Physical Therapy gradual schooling.

[@nryanmusic]

why do they keep having kids

[@jimroscovius]

So what? We had two kids, and we both worked. Get that lazy wife working and get the debt paid off.

[@angel-ij4xv]

this is why i have no woman and kids

[@neisci]

They prefer the dream of "she's a stay at home mom " than the reality that they are broke and she HAS to work.

[@jasonleatherwood2172]

I had a bad year had multiple surgeries this year so i was a stay at home dad bout 12 weeks last year i did all the chores etc was done by 10am stay at home mom is not a full time job

[@jasonleatherwood2172]

And thats with having surgery if i was healty i been done by 9am

[@sumisumi5214]

Exactly! Help the husband out. The stress of work is not the same of the stress of cooking and cleaning.

[@AdrianMuller-lb6bz]

It feels simply amazing watching this while having literally zero debt (and never had). 30yo Ivy League educated, 2 master’s from top 2 universities in Europe, enjoying life 😊😊

[@user-xc2cv3yv2m]

Go get after this is short term pain . Being a brokie in 20 years is going to be a lot more painful

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

No. You do you! Everyone else can EFF OFF!

[@random-nz7dy]

I'm confused as to why the wife can't be the one that works on the weekends? She's the one that got the degree. I can't possibly believe she wouldn't be able to find SLP jobs on the weekends. Plenty of people need that service and I'm sure there are companies that provide weekend services for the vast numbers of people who struggle to schedule on weekdays. This would give him the weekends to spend with the kids and she gets the weekdays. That seems like the most logical approach. Also, dude just because you work full-time doesn't mean your kids aren't going to see you as an awesome dad. My mom stayed home with us particularly when we were undee 7-8, And my dad worked a lot but, I don't remember missing my dad during the day. What I remember is that when he came home he was a present father who spent time with us as kids. THATS what your kids remember. Sure they may technically remember you worked long hours but they won't internalize it that way when they look back on childhood. They just won't. Also you're not doing this for their whole childhood. You're doing this for a few years until you can get financially stable

[@rebeccashields9626]

Could she do speech pathology just part time on weekends? Hospitals need people to do swallow evals on the weekends too. She could work just part time. It’s not all or nothing. I’ve worked just pool as a nurse since our kids were born and it’s really worked well. Yes, staying home would be preferable, but financially that would be really tight and working just part time gives us enough wiggle room to be able to go on vacation and out to eat sometimes.

[@yourgooglemeister6745]

Simp on simp on simp action

[@terricox3559]

Hang on. Literally no one is wondering why they chose to have a second child while massively in debt???

[@actuallyterry]

There is nothing they can do about it now.

[@terricox3559]

@@actuallyterry no, but even when something is already done it's still usually discussed as a cautionary tale. Its just the only one no-one will accept can be a wrong decision

[@strangeroamer3219]

It feels a lot better raw. I don't have children, but have had some close calls.

[@amireallythatgrumpy6508]

"no, but even when something is already done it's still usually discussed as a cautionary tale." That only happens with intelligent people...@@terricox3559

[@Moon_ally]

i disagree with him. the mom is primary caretaker for a toddler and soon to be new born. her priority is the children, his priority is to provide. it just going to tKe longer to pay off the debt, but as a sahm i cannot be in my career full time at the same time, and i need the help of my husband, because being sahm is a full time job itself. i appreciate how thoughtful this husband and his concern for being a good father and husband is so beautiful. maybe if he takes paying the debt as priority, family and friends can step in to help mom with the children, because in her husbands absence she is absolutely going to need help

[@akramdinzly7777]

Yes

[@Tandymandan]

See this is where I totally disagree. Consumer debt is bad. But take the longer route verse losing quality time with your newborn. You will NEVER get back those days with your newborn.

[@RL3192]

Having a kid and in debt, you all are geniuses

[@AmarisKrisla]

Poor guy, he sounds distressed. Well, the wife needs to help, too. Working too many hours is unstainable for him. This is a good example not to get a partner with too many debts. She can't just let the husband pay her student loans, and she does nothing to help. 😂

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

She will have him pay off her loans then leave him and divorce him for a Chad/Tyrone

[@b.bernal6151]

They both need to sacrifice for a while until they payoff the debt. He can work more and she’ll have to handle the kids and house mostly by herself until they are debt free. They both need to be on board for it to work.

[@FUNNYBUNNI1]

These are the calls that reassure me my husband and I made the right choices. I always wanted to get my bachelors degree but did not have the money and I refused taking student loans. I sacrificed my degree to stay debt free. Also, my husband and I decided not to have kids because we didn’t have anyone to help with childcare and we didn’t make that much money together. I also wanted to be a SAHM. We realized we were going to drown if we had a kid. Decided against it, so we just have a dog. We are now 46 and 53 and have zero debt , and over 6 figures in savings

[@susieare]

I'd rather have the kids than the savings...

[@TheDjcarter1966]

Wow that's painful especially when you are 70 and just staring at each other with no family 😢

[@ryanj357]

@@TheDjcarter1966 Nah they are living their best life. No kids to look after and they can go where they want when they want.

[@rebeccazeman9309]

Normalize not having kids until your at least almost out of debt. I'd be willing to bet his wife wanted another child but pictured them doing things as a family and not doing it alone for the first few years. She's gonna be pissed when he only comes home to shower and sleep but if she thought about it before getting pregnant she'd know that's the only logical way to do this. I'm 37 and went through IVF to have my son so i understand the drive to have kids but i waited until i had a little bit of money saved for maternity leave and stuff. Idk how women just overlook this crap.

[@rochelle-xz8gl]

If I was his wife I would go back to work at least part time.

[@dealerofgame]

if you wanted to be debt free.. you should have waited to have another kid

[@terricox3559]

Exactly!!! I dont understand this! Children are an expense, why is it so taboo to accept this and to suggest that maybe just wanting a child shouldnt be the only green or red light??

[@owenson7969]

@@terricox3559I think you hit a point where the age of one of the spouses gets to a certain point that justifies having kids with debt. My wife and I are trying for kids at ages 25 and soon 27. We paid off 85% of our debt we had when we got married. So trying for kids now makes sense for us because we don't want to wait till we're in our 30s for kids. That's just too old for our bodies to START having kids.

[@Moon_ally]

things happen and people do get pregnant while on birth control

[@ryanj357]

Nah if he wanted to be debt free he shouldn't have married a wife who has 90k in debt. That's one of the worst financial decisions I've ever seen.

[@owenson7969]

@@ryanj357 Exactly

[@Beginningtopeak]

How quickly John went from she’s tough because she got her degree and postgrad and had a baby, to you choose your hard doesn’t make sense. She chose the hard of being a mother and doesn’t like working at a job into the wee hours of the night. Her husband saying that is something she doesn’t want to do or isn’t willing to do isn’t a rebuke of his wife in any way. It’s an explanation to you, John, that her working while having a baby at home isn’t what they are willing to do.

[@amireallythatgrumpy6508]

And John correctly pointed ut that they are not in a situation where they get to choose what they want to do, they are in a situation that has forced them to do what they don't want to do.

[@pennyk1943]

This is not fair for him. He’s going to work to death to clear “her debt”. Then what happens if she leaves him. He just paid her loan. Not fair. The amount is too large. I tell my son to be careful not to get in this trap.

[@Observer100-cn7gv]

Do not get married or worse, have children (even one) if you have no money. Think first. Abstain. It is not fair to the child.

[@JasonGroom]

So maybe I missed it, but does Mom want to be a stay at home, or does Dad want her to be one?

[@rangequeen]

Both

[@charleshayes2729]

Put you head down and suck it up.....at the end of the day nobody is going to appreciate anything you do....my 23 year old just told me that I missed a lot of his football games....

[@genglandoh]

Another example of a women who racked up a large student debt then decided not to use her degree to pay off her loans. This puts a lot of stress on her husband.

[@Rashaadthegr8]

You would be a better everything inve youre debt free.

[@johnlanier3616]

All of that debt and they have a second child on the way. People are beyond stupid. Also,. It's her debt and she can pay it off herself.

[@musicman7297]

LOL 😂, during bad economic times.... and deeply in debt... lets have ANOTHER KID. The American way .... and then expect someone else to help support you with their taxes. As a single guy with no children during my life , the government rap - ed me because i was single and childless.

[@Pea-bj2qv]

Exactly, same pay ,same hours and because we were single we paid more in taxes than our counterpart with kids.

[@superblump87]

What bad economic times? Also sorry you weren't good with the ladies.

[@musicman7297]

​@@superblump87Look folks, it's a TWICE BAKED POTATO democrat cheerleader. 😂

[@antonioiniguez1615]

Should've gotten married and had kids then🤷‍♂️

[@K4R3N]

That's why no one loves you

[@lionheart93]

y did she go to college just to get into debt? wow

[@lionheart93]

the stress on this poor guy is insane

[@stud6414]

They'd have more money if they divorce and she made 24K filed taxes as head of household and then file for Medicaid. These people need their student loans cancelled

[@MissDuke2012]

He works only 40 hours a week and makes 90k a year. But he acts like he makes $30k a year. ??? Where are his or her parents? There’s your child care.

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

Mommys boy

[@wellsHannahh]

Given reduced inflation signals and as the Federal Reserve has halted rate hikes, what are the best additions for a $500K portfolio to enhance the overall performance of my portfolio this year

[@geraldcoleman3596]

Look for stocks that have paid steady, increasing dividends for years (or decades), and have not cut their dividends even during recessions. Alternatively speaking to a certified market strategist can help with pointers on equities to acquire

[@GeorgeNN]

True, some folks employ hedging strategies or devote a portion of their portfolio to defensive assets that perform well during market downturns and such pointers are provided by engaging the services of market experts just like i did in 2019, amid rona-outbreak, and as of today, i can boost of a 45% enhancement on my $1m portfolio after acquiring assets recommended by my advisor.

[@Patatkevin]

Mind if I ask you to recommend this particular coach you using their service ?

[@GeorgeNN]

NICOLE DESIREE SIMON is the licensed fiduciary I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment.

[@flemmingbrooke]

Thanks for sharing, I just looked her up on the web and I would say she really has an impressive background in investing. I will write her an e-mail shortly.

[@thehungrywolf69]

So what’s the problem again?? 😆😂

[@joeriveracomedy]

SHE wants to stay home. He is just going along with it. Her next husband better love kids.

[@karnypharax1917]

Delivering Pizza puts wear and tear on your car and does not pay your debt! The most tone deaf, cookie cutter approach they regurgitate EVERY damn time someone calls in. Flipping burgers at MCD or running door dash would be more profitable but neither are optimal. Wife could baby sit and watch other kids while she is watching her own kids. The father could pick up remote work on the weekends. They both have college degrees, they could teach a class on the side, start private tutoring and earn something on the side. This was not helpful at all and only served as entertainment for the blue color knuckle dragging listeners who got a big ol chuckle out of the radio men telling the college boy to go deliver pizza.

[@cleliaparnell8743]

"Blue collar knuckle dragging listeners"??? You were certainly triggered about something....

[@JFlogerzi]

your comment screams tone death making so many assumptions....

[@curiouscat3384]

100%

[@karnypharax1917]

​@@JFlogerziWhy on Gods green earth would you spend upwards of 120k on a college degree just to devalue yourself by delivering pizza?? The problem here is the caller can't think for themselves and are seeking the advice and approval of people who dont know how to leverage their skills for something better.

[@karnypharax1917]

​@@cleliaparnell8743yes, the average person who gets ANYTHING out of this is probably on the low income / intelligence side of the coin.

[@BrianErwin]

4:33 women aren't weapons designed to go to wars, get shot at and beat up. coaching the guy to want his wife to do that is feminism 101, not christianity.