My Husband Doesn't Want to Combine Finances

[@jeffcarlos5780]

The day we combined finance is the day I no longer had to think about money all the time because my balance was always zero.

[@johnyang1610]

Hahahha 😂

[@nmc1859]

😂

[@Shaladash]

@NEGATIVE THOUGHTS While Gucci Mane was in prison his now wife nearly doubled his income when he wasn’t able to do anything. 🤷🏾‍♀️ of course there are irresponsible women but let’s not act likes it’s a pandemic of irresponsible women out here.

[@ladycork]

@NEGATIVE THOUGHTS Heres the good news, you get to PICK your own wife.

[@ArmandoAguilar93]

Nah, y'all need to be responsible for who you pick asada wife. These are all marital problems. Me and my wife manage our money effortlessly since we are on the same page. We discussed all this while dating.

[@randomfemaleopinion3167]

In my marriage, we have a joint checkings/savings account where we pool all our money and we each get an "allowance" to put into our own separate checkings/savings accounts and we do whatever we want with that money and we can't criticize using our play money however we want

[@haleytruslow7200]

I’m not married yet but this seems like an excellent idea

[@maryrenaud6732]

Yes...we do exactly the same thing. It works well.

[@Berserk1Manga]

That could be fine if the allowances are adjusted for each of your own salaries.

[@randomfemaleopinion3167]

@@Berserk1Manga Im not saying this because it applies to my relationship because we both make about the same but I personally don't like the idea since you can't do that if someone gets laid off or suffers an injury that puts them out of work for a while or a pregnancy. Just because you're out of work temporarily doesn't mean you shouldn't get any money. And if you have a huge gap in income, it's pretty patronizing to give the person their "adjusted share" that makes them susceptible to financial dependency of their partner. That can cause a power imbalance in the relationship. But if your partner is cool with it, go ahead.

[@Berserk1Manga]

@@randomfemaleopinion3167 Well of course if those situations arrive then I would be on the same boat as you there. I'm just saying if you quit a job because you didn't like it, or went to see a mother in another state that the other spouse dosent like or something like that. Then she would have to prepare for that herself.

[@zacharywissinger3996]

She says she is financially stable, yet after 10 years of marriage with separate finances she needs his money when she lost her job. What has she been doing with her money for 10 years that she can’t maintain until she gets another job.

[@amessina6691]

She was stashing all the extra money away for herself and now she can't and it's freaking her out.

[@skateata1]

My parents combined accounta and my mother is a big spender. My dad brought in the most money and she would spend it all until there was almost nothing left. Eventually she quit working all together but kept spending money. I told him to cut her off numerous times but instead he kept letting her have access. 20+ yrs later they are still asking people for money including myself. I think combining accounts depends on the couple and their behavior.

[@New_Years_who_Cares]

Has the big spender in your family ever do the budget math to clearly see the spending before needing to ask others for money or just go off feelings when spending too much?

[@michellerichardson3090]

So if they werent combined before, why would she think he would want to do it since she lose her job? She has nothing to combine

[@TopVillain]

lol she lost her job now she wants a joint account hahaha o my you can’t make this stuff up

[@IamJacksColon4]

hahaha

[@Jecoopster]

Because now they have only 1 income. And he’s not responsible enough to pay the bills and budget.

[@pl6654]

I put my wife on my account very early on and she closed her old one (didnt like the bank). Been that way for 10 years, never thought differently. We also know each others phone passwords which apparently isn’t a thing with our friends.

[@yamamancha]

"My mortgage", "my savings account", "my retirement account". Does she hear herself? She drew lines in the sand back when she was the breadwinner and but now wants to move the beach. She doesn't want to join finances, she wants total control. Definitely more mother than wife. May as well keep things separate. It'll be easier during the divorce.

[@haroldparker5768]

She has too much MY attitude

[@Sheryl777]

Do you think it's possible that she refers to them as hers because she's been the one who has had to be the adult in the family where finances are concerned and he hasn't been? In other words, her control over the money has been handed to her by someone that didn't want to deal with it himself?

[@jimroscovius]

It needs to be "we" and "our", not "I" and "my".

[@dapeace316]

Yeahh, there's a lot of me, mine, and I in her conversation I'm observing. In most cases and calls by married people, they are saying we, and 'ours'. Ohpp even the pyschologist caught that. Akin to my studies as well hahaha 🤣😂🤣 too much selfishness.

[@yamamancha]

@@Sheryl777 That's definitely a possibility. It's just that the way she speaks is condescending and corrosive. What I get from her tone is that their relationship is based on this premise that he's a 4/10 who she blessed with her 8/10 self. She's been the "successful" one, so when she was making "her" money and building "her" wealth, she didn't care about his cute little tendencies with money. Even now that she's jobless, she still finds solace in the fact that she has a larger nest egg than him. I get it, men tend to be immature and childish for much longer than women, but that doesn't mean you can treat your man like a child or "raise" him in your image. Some of her first words were "I'm just trying to get him on the same page as me". That's not how men work. I can just imagine years of him being bombarded by little condescending bombs. His 22 days on that tugboat are probably some of his happiest times....

[@BrianaBudgets]

The odds are, if you have to keep repeating how responsible you are you might not be telling the truth.

[@Doobee80]

I have been uncomfortable with sharing finances, and I have seen some people get done dirty. My wife and I have separate accounts, and share one that is money to pay the mortgage. We pay the different expenses from our accounts. Works out best for us.

[@ianmowbray3284]

She said my mortgage 😳

[@IamJacksColon4]

kek

[@fefifofob]

I have no income now, so I want control of your income.

[@mariogonzalez5107]

Modern women for you

[@seanmack28]

Thats how i heard it. Lol

[@diannamc367]

@@mariogonzalez5107 not all modern women. My bf makes twice what I do and I have 3x the debt he does (house payment). I am probably too independent. I would not want to combine our finances until I can level the field a bit, atleast on the debt end of things.

[@ctrlaltcreate3827]

Facts

[@FlexiFlo07]

I have a feeling if she still had a job she would not be calling in

[@prepordietryin9119]

Wish we could hear the husbands side.

[@DeionSardines]

That wouldn’t be fair to the woman.

[@thisguy4614]

Amen

[@rickshaw3397]

When does that ever help the husband?

[@homeskol]

That's why most of these people probably need counseling, you only hear one person's side and that's not saying she's right or wrong

[@makethepenniescount]

I agree. We need to hear both sides of the story. I think losing her job while he is still working must be adding to her anxieties. So she’s going to lash out at her husband in some way. When you’re anxious, you take flight or fight! I hope they work things out.

[@Executor009]

Sounds like she's the one never wanting to combine finances, now that she's unemployed she wants control of her husband's money.

[@trepan4944]

BINGO

[@handee_maam]

Omg I was going to comment BINGO lol

[@catdancerskaleidoscopeofbo8496]

EXACTLY

[@leadnsteel1428]

In sure the husband knows what he's doing lol

[@roolyfe]

Exactly! Hypergamy

[@RickiPresents]

She sounds like she's lost control over the household's money because she's lost her job and she wants that control back

[@jasonrodgers9063]

100%

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

“I’m jobless he won’t give me his money”

[@michael567jober]

there's a reason he won't combine finances. she's leaving out some if not all but if they are in a good relationship, he should definitely help support her when things get tough

[@RemcoStoutjesdijk]

she was probably very happy not to share finances when she was doing better than him. It's not what she said, you gotta listen to what she didn't say.

[@michael567jober]

@@RemcoStoutjesdijk sounds right lol now that she lost her job NOWWWWW she wants to combine finances. man ain't no fool

[@michael567jober]

@WeWhoAre AboutTODie facts

[@digitaluser1255]

Combining finances is not good. Dave is speaking from his Christian religion and not finances, oddly. Very bad to combine finances. However, there are alternatives, where both can create an account and a certain percentage of his and her income goes to this account. It’s still applying a semti-traditional combination of income without all this religious nonsense

[@texan903]

Both the husband and wife have likely considered leaving each other, hence the reason for separate finances since early on in the marriage. Now, the husband is in the advantageous position and doesn't want to join his money with hers because he sees where this is headed. She is lining up her ducks for the divorce and wants to pad her accounts with his money that way she is walking away with the greater share of the money and pay him as little as possible in the process. Once he agrees to this manipulative, ridiculous proposal, his days as a married man are numbered.

[@Shay-yg7nm]

My husband and I have been together 7yrs. Keep our accounts and money separate. Both are very responsible and debt free.. I would never suggest putting money together just because your married.

[@michellerichardson3090]

3 accounts. His, hers, house

[@nani1940]

Having seperate accounts can lend itself to a lot of issues in the marriage, not just financial. When you marry you become one not roommates. It's great that it works for you guys but it doesn't work for most people.

[@BernardBrunu1]

@@nani1940 What issues will it lead to?

[@dresser6135]

@@nani1940 I agree. When I married I wanted a marriage, not a roommate situation.

[@tsvet5804]

@r6135 "When I married I wanted a marriage, not a roommate situation." MY POINT EXACTLY! Marriage = Combined money and assets, Marriage has absolutely NO spiritual value, only material. Why stop here? Why not have 3-4 spouses? You can even open a company and be the CEO.

[@rons.6683]

How many people have combined finances and got ‘cleaned out’ by the other one.

[@BlueDauntless]

You can still get “cleaned out” without combining depending on state law. Besides, you share your bed and your body with your spouse. If you can’t share your money, you picked the wrong spouse.

[@shisui3878]

Sounds like because she lost her job she lost whatever control she had over him

[@samguy7209]

She been with him for many years and because she lost her job, she now wants access to his finances... 🤔 She also claims to be the most financially responsible of the two yet she never said anything about him having unusual large sums of debt or financial issues... Hmmm sounds shady 🧐

[@brendondowdy5651]

Yeah that was my exact thought. Never know but sure does seem questionable at best

[@factsondeck1552]

All I heard was 💩 💩 💩 no one is dumb enough to believe that story

[@richard1113]

Gimme a break. Did you even ask what SHE does (or rather did) for a living? This all sounds like her husband doesn't trust her and the way she talks, I wouldn't either. BTW, Poughkeepsie is nowhere near that dumpster fire known as Albany.

[@harryshin3209]

My wife and I combined finances upon marriage with a joint account and ditched our separate accs. We value transparency so anything we bought or earned is visible for our budgeting purposes. There is no "my money" or "your money" b/c it is "our money" and our mortgage. Fortunately, we are not big spenders, and only a joint mortgage as debt so it works for us

[@LalaLala-dm5uc]

He doesn’t trust you. period

[@ingoelds]

Sounds like someone is looking after number one. Husband knows what he's doing.

[@Marth8880]

My parents have been married for 45 years, have never had joint finances, and have literally never once argued about money. 😌

[@Al_Sayid_Sanad]

Are they super successful financially ?

[@rurpz]

@@Al_Sayid_Sanad id assume if they aren’t arguing

[@OptimalFitness-yr7tz]

Correction: They never had an argument about money in front of you.

[@bearcatfan1000]

Optimal Fitness 2021 Thats bold of you to say lol

[@gpdoyon]

Same!

[@chuckg4910]

Doesn't work when you have a spouse who follows the what's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine philosophy.

[@PurpleTitties]

You mean women? That’s a wife’s philosophy 99.9% of the time. You spelled wife wrong when you wrote spouse.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

@@PurpleTitties ZING! Truth!

[@bedby9upat330]

Best thing we did was combine right when we got married. Reading the comments I don’t understand why people object.

[@LDT7Y]

Because so many people know deep down that they are marrying someone who is not a good partner. But for a lot of them, it's much easier to throw a party and say 'I do' than it is to share access to their bank account. When it gets to that point, that's when it really becomes obvious that they shouldn't be together.

[@livelaughlove4635]

I think in 2nd marriages people who don’t want to combine money is because they have been hurt or their first marriage out them in a financial. Sad but true.

[@mmmmmmmm1942]

Never will that's so scary

[@clarissaubben7884]

Because people don’t go through the necessary steps before marriage and talk about EVERYTHING including goals & children & finances. They marry people who have the same interests as them but not the same values. My husband and I talked about everything before marriage and went to counseling. We combined our incomes immediately and it’s been working great! We respect each other and discuss purchases larger than a certain dollar amount before going through with the purchase.

[@pep590]

No one's going to MAKE ME combine my accounts!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@BoriPR82]

Sounds like he's willing, but she's a control freak.

[@GreggoryThorpe]

As I get older I’m finding more and more people not combining their finances

[@kayrenallen7369]

Trust maybe?

[@TANQ31]

The older I get the more I realize that, as a man, I'm better off staying single. Many Modern women are just.......awful

[@moma5501]

You can still be married and not share finances :) it’s better that way

[@ironmonkey1512]

I think it is fine actually as long as it is thoroughly discussed before marriage.

[@bcardamone]

Crazy to me

[@joycewright5386]

Married 24 years. We never combined finances. Had a joint account that we put equal amounts into to pay the bills. The rest belonged to whoever earned it. We have zero debt. Very happy.

[@pep590]

No one's going to MAKE ME combine my accounts!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@catinarenae]

Interesting. How did u handle trips and household repairs?

[@joycewright5386]

@@catinarenae We have one joint credit card and the bills are paid out of joint checking account. If I bought souvenirs on the trip I paid for them with my money. Sounds weird but it has worked for us.

[@yvonneoy3124]

I'm here for it

[@songindarkness]

I feel like this works as long as both people can control their spending. I think it’s difficult if one person gets into debt and the other is bailing them out and I think this is what the wife is worried about here given that she doesn’t have income to bail them out at the moment.

[@thekulture5168]

Dave always favors wives over husbands even if the wife is wrong. I liked DR’ questions but Dave had to jump in and defend the lady

[@etiennedegaulle3817]

Dave is a simp.

[@mandiesholly939]

He is realistic, laws tend to favor women too in relationships. Prepare for the real world. Also wealthy people tend to have old fashioned values. He has a mindset that different from the peasants that watch his channel.

[@John-ru4gz]

@@mandiesholly939 that's why you just don't get married

[@dmal-ty5qw]

That's because the man is suppose to be the leader. The man in this segment is obviously not wearing the pants, not being responsible or a leader. Sounds like a beta

[@amymarkb]

I have noticed this... to the point he gives bad advice.

[@nathanielcarreon5634]

Married for 30 years, never combined our finances, we just made sure our bills are assigned to a particular person. Retired early, paid off mortgage 10 years early and kids went to the best schools.

[@thatnanny3150]

Why haven’t you combined your finances with him after 30 years? Just wondering.

[@ddfamf88]

Just because it works or you does not mean it is the correct thing to do. There are always statistical outliers.

[@ryceryder85]

There is nothing to combine when you are broke

[@jesssc402]

@@thatnanny3150what’s the point if everything’s taken care of and their system works?

[@ddellwo]

Keeping our finances separate has been a “marriage saver” for my wife and I.....!!!! I am great with money and she is horrible with it - a fact to which she will fully admit! I know how much money is in my checkbook (to the penny) at any given moment and she hasn’t balanced her checkbook in over 25 years. We have similar take home pay and share basic household costs - I simply have her write me a check the first of every month for our shared expenses and whatever money she has left is hers to spend as she chooses. She doesn’t tell me what I can do with my disposable income, and I don’t tell her what she can do with her disposable income. May be unusual, but it works well for us and I wouldn’t have it any other way - ZERO fights regarding money or family finances!

[@teeduck]

What if she is late on her monthly payments? What would you do? Take her to courthouse?

[@gpdoyon]

@@teeduck Doesn't look like he has had any problems after 25 years. So, your hypothetical question doesn't make sense.

[@pep590]

No one's going to MAKE ME combine my accounts!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@David-wo9un]

Dave immediately takes her side even though John pointed out how she kept saying “I”.

[@TILLEYJS]

He always does. It's a shame.

[@untouchable360x]

Dave is a simp and a white knight.

[@Justsayingthat]

He is very much pro join accounts. This would go both ways

[@davem4193]

Simpin' ain't easy.

[@captaintimcurry1713]

Bible thumpers typically do

Of the couples that I know , the strongest, happiest, and most successful marriages are those that do NOT combine accounts. Separate accounts encourage personal accountability and discourage gold diggers.

[@milkncookie]

PreCoVid Wife: I don't need you! **loseJob** PostCoVid Wife: honey, we need to Combine our finances!

[@richardv9648]

hahah

[@MrAdamdumont89]

lol

[@harrisonwintergreen1147]

I wouldn't want to share a bus ride with this woman, forget about combining bank accounts

[@carlkpsplucky5554]

You are no longer the Man in the marriage, the Government is.

[@Smokey187um1]

she allegedly was the financially good one, but she didn’t combine them before but now she wants to control his money because she has lost her job you can’t make this up

[@brandonwilliams5353]

My wife doesn't want to combine finances either but it's because she's been in very tough situations in her life. Combining finances with feel like she's not in control and she can't get over it so we just don't combine.

[@BeyondThe-b3v]

I think she’s a smart woman. As well as you’re in a great position as a man. If it works for you guys, that’s awesome ! In my opinion that’s how it should be done.

[@KentWav]

Her logic: Ippity Dippity Boppity your money is my property

[@brandonwilson8146]

That’s a bar 😂😂

[@melanieb2132]

Arent they married?

[@NaNa-lt1po]

Isn't that the law ? 😝

[@Mehwhatevr]

lol, why am I thinking of the Office. When he goes to ask for a raise. Bippity Boppity, give me the Zoppity lol.

[@jeep19]

I phfruqk'n farted 😹 laughing at this 😂

[@mariogonzalez5107]

Then she blindsides you with a “I’m not happy” argument and a no fault divorce. Never combine finances.

[@3000dl]

Sounds like you shouldn't have married this girl...it's okay to stay boyfriend and girlfriend

[@Shaladash]

Children are more important than money so then don’t have children either 🤷🏾‍♀️ because then that child has to suffer with a split household.

[@thefalcon7512]

Eyyyy Coach gang! 😂🤣🤣

[@n1k01k0]

Some couples have their finances combined and they are selfish trying to control how the money is spent. Other couples have finances separated and they are selfish only looking out for themselves. Something is off here if 10 years later there is still a problem.

[@WRuiz10768]

"Onto thee I pledge all my worldly goods"...usually the man saying that I bet.

[@dmal-ty5qw]

It's both you pleb

[@kochubobby]

Who want to live with a wife like her. Poor husband

[@adamduarte895]

She says “my,” “I,” and “me” a lot

[@MichelleLyn84]

Yikes she said “my mortgage”. Idk about that.

[@twincherry4958]

He's paying her rent. Little does she know that by law he owns that place.. smh

[@rachelgooden9981]

Yessssds

[@texan903]

@ If he's paid maintenance, taxes and other expenses on the home over a period of years, he can claim a share of what he is paid in, once the divorce is filed. She won't make out as smoothly as she is trying to manipulate.

[@staceystrukel1917]

It's her half she is referring to.

[@tonyj8947]

@@texan903 Not really. All he can do is claim he paid those expenses and she'll say "yeah, paid for it with my money".

[@Coolwater83]

Combining finances aka “joint bank account” should only be to put enough money in to pay the monthly bills. Anything else should be SEPERATE. That’s just my opinion though ☺️

[@DrRRaza]

I respectfully disagree.

[@Coolwater83]

@@DrRRaza that’s fair. But i also think you probably haven’t met enough people who got married with no prenup, combined everything, then years later, the marriage ends in divorce and the man is usually the one that suffers financially from that. Divorce is at an all time high. Even though nobody goes into a marriage expecting a divorce, we have to be realistic and be aware that it is a possibility and it could happen to anyone.

[@DrRRaza]

@@Coolwater83 I see that, I personally think it would be better to share and have a prenup

[@DebraJohnson]

@@Coolwater83 At the end of most marriages, all couples are splitting is debt.

[@JV-bc8um]

This is the method my fiance and I have agreed on because it works for us. We are on the same page regarding money and have access to each other's bank accounts even as boyfriend and girlfriend. We both have strong character and share similar mentality regarding life/lifestyle. It's not perfect, but it's pretty close according to us lol

[@ontheroadrvstyle2565]

I will never share an account with my spouse again after she took over a $100,000 out of the bank and left one penny in the account. We were married for 17 years guess what happened. The big D.

[@davjon7416]

Dang that's scary

[@ultimaetsolder]

Jamal and Tyrone say Hi.

[@Extrapua]

@@davjon7416 no . IT is normal female behavior before Divorce and IT is totally legal

[@genxx2724]

@@ultimaetsolder 🤣 😢

[@Shaladash]

I know mothers who work really hard and their husbands spends all of the money on new cars new motorcycle, new vacations and fancy dinners. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ttr8141]

I don’t think she’s better at money than her husband as she claims. It seems like he was a “spender” because the husband is responsible for the majority of the bills. Therefore, she had more leftover money for other goals/long term planning than him, and seemed like the more responsible of the two. Now that she’s unemployed/no income, her suddenly wanting to merge finances sounds like she wants to be in control & doesn’t trust him.

[@thefalcon7512]

“Spiritual emotional journey” “Combining hearts” Now the minute she isn’t happy anymore, all that care bear sh!t goes out the window

[@lv5310]

The things that I don't like about Dave Ramsey is that he always brings all his solutions to what worked for HIM. Just because he didn't go through a certain route in life doesn't mean it's wrong. He says there's many millionaires that combine their accounts. Why doesn't he talk about the other ones who don't?

[@simeoda]

Dave’s methods work. What do you know?

[@lv5310]

@@simeoda I know how to be broke

[@HHTP6]

@@simeoda Dave is a simp. A similar video but with the roles switched he was literally like "YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOUR MINEY FROM HIM"

[@Berserk1Manga]

Most of the people are freaking single too.

[@diannamc367]

He knows what worked for him. He knows it has worked for many, many of the people who have followed his plan. He also know the statistics on how other people have worked their finances to succeed. The anecdotal analysis is just his way of showing that he knows because he has been there. I think it's great that he can show that he didn't just learn these things from a book. He has been there (or worse).

[@Mysticbladegod]

I believe this creates a single point of failure in a marriage. I'd recommend each spouse have accounts and there be shared accounts for the house.

[@pep590]

No one's going to MAKE ME combine my accounts!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@umairahmad4711]

Good for him

[@ForwardThinkingIncome]

The gentleman on the left is correct and many miss this. The caller kept saying my my my. No, it is our, we, us etc. It is a team that openly has private respectful adult conversations monthly or as needed to keep your family on track together to reach the goals you both have together. Communication not assumptions and us not I.

[@benmyers9030]

"Hes got no problem combining finances, or paying his own way. How do i get him to give all control to me though?"

[@Holdeenio]

I couldn’t be married to someone who I wasn’t in a true partnership with. This roommates splitting bills and never having to work through challenges, is not a proper marriage to me. This opinion was reinforced when I discovered Dave Ramsay and when I started to worry about securing my wife in the event something may happen to me health wise. Joint accounts are owned and operated jointly. Thankfully, I vetted my wife before we got married and she did the same. We have a budget we’ve created together and as responsible adults, we both stick to it.

[@tsvet5804]

Cannot imagine the nightmare, you want something for an example - start mining bitcoin that needs a $10k drop and she wants to redecorate the home for the same price, what do you do? One of you has to compromise and bend to the will of the other, well no thanks, I had parents do that, I do not require another parent to manage my goals.

[@Achilles5937]

I had one of those ...."my mortgage, my account, my stability,, my money" meanwhile she wants to be unified in 'our' finances. Nah....bye! . I had a boat anchor that spent $$$ like a drunken sailor and thought big houses and cars were the most important thing in life hence I kept finance accounts separate. I'm glad those zillionaires shared a common goal with their significant other. Reality is average Joe isn't that lucky. I dont care what Daves statistics says, thats not reality. Everyone is different with different needs, wants or goals it may not work for some people. I can look or get the opposite statistics if I wanted too.

[@dtbristol]

Smart guy. With courts favoring the woman on every level, why make it easier for her to grab his money, in the case of a divorce? Saying otherwise, is just bad financial advice.

[@rickshaw3397]

Sounds like that's what shes getting ready for.

[@simplyme922]

@TheLetterY according to the conversation, he has very little money to grab. She is the heavy-hitter breadwinner and saver in the marriage.

[@paigec5017]

When you're married you take vows to unify lol they will audit everything in divorce if you have it in separate accounts or joint 🙄 don't marry someone you can't trust with money and can't trust to share things with considering you're sleeping next to them, trusting them with your life, that sounds super irresponsible.

[@rickshaw3397]

@@simplyme922 then why after 13 years is it so important to combine finances? She wants access to his money, period.

[@dtbristol]

@@simplyme922 Unemployed people, by definition, aren't breadwinners. Also, if he has very little money to grab, she shouldn't be so concerned about it.

[@prmm218]

It is her....... my my my my.

[@ifeawosika966]

You can hear it in the voice

[@Abel1120]

@@ifeawosika966 hahahaha... i agree

[@AIrn6087]

So, when she had a good job making good money she didn’t seem to have an issue with finances but now she doesn’t have a job he’s not responsible n he doesn’t want to join finances and he doesn’t want to do XYZ... see how it’s the “HE” is the issue and she shoulders none of the blame

[@Pantera972]

Typical for women to do.

[@zakimerxero3771]

Yeah it's fishy.

[@JasonGroom]

So she has not done the smart thing for a decade, and they have both not been adults about it for 10 years. Now she has no income, so she wants him to share his income to help her survive, but doesn't really want to share what she has with him. That is about as selfish as it gets.

[@tracygomaz1331]

Let's not forget they tried combining it be4. She kept stalking his spending 😅. That's why Dave said " you aren't his mother". & can't forget how she's so responsible with money, but can't survive until her next job. She can't be trusted.

[@sachinlobo2738]

Get on the same page= do what I want

[@iamdavis012686]

My wife and I keep our finances separate. We have a joint account to pay bills and we each know what we're responsible for. The rest of the money we do what we like with. Coincidentally, she's always paycheck to paycheck....

[@shawao]

What did you do in holidays? Who pays for what whilst you're out there? What about when you have kids... How will it work then...

[@AryaRealty]

@@shawao Those are also 50/50. Holidays, kids everything. at least in my household.

[@shawao]

@@AryaRealty I don't want to then have to audit the shared bank account..."Honey was this for the kids uniform or did you go out for a drink"

[@sunnyray4065]

Hahaha I laughed so much because I'm in the exact situation and I can say whole heartedly I'm the one who spends.. he saves and has investment knowledge. I just need to take a page out of his book and start saving. When having something separate (other than a joint account), he can spend his money on whatever and it doesn't change our joint finances. I said if he wants to lose his job, I'll support him, visa versa.

[@AryaRealty]

@shawao there is no shared bank account to audit. We just use Vemo to pay for things 50/50

[@amandadean3948]

I have noticed in my circle of friends that the couples who share finances tend to have stronger marriages. I think because once you can trust someone else with your money that takes your relationship to another level, maybe?

[@rickshaw3397]

It's because shes holding his finanaces hostage.

[@MiguelAngel-oh1ub]

I’m 24, my wife is 21, my wife went back to work after 8 months(knee surgery) We almost doubled our income, and I’ll be gettting 70% of her income in order for us to pay down debt. (I’m the one good with numbers, she’s dyslexic and a spender 😂)Which should take us about 1 year to pay off $45k. After that it’s save save save. It’s a blessing when partners actually trust each other. 🙏

[@chasityeverett3668]

That’s probably true. I honestly don’t think many couples care to admit how little they actually trust each other when it comes to their money.

[@TILLEYJS]

Works until the end.

[@TILLEYJS]

@Go Live uh huh. Sure sure. Shoo fly shoo

[@jcrowley1985]

Smart man, if he's real smart he'll put it in a trust rather than his own name so noone can get to it

[@motardb8423]

Yup I will never combine

[@turdmcgurd]

@G G what

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

He’s not smart enough. He’s locked in with contract.

[@MultiAnne36]

I am in a similar situation but the one paying all the bills. It wouldnt bother me as much except i am the only one worried about our finances and workng a hard job I dont like to keep us above water.

[@gorkyd7912]

Women are generally not cut out to be breadwinners. Just a general observation, I've seen a few great ones, but the general propensity is they only last a few years with that responsibility.

[@KTSpeedruns]

I work in retail and often see couples arguing over who was supposed to pay for the items. Not new young couples. Old couples who have been together no doubt at least 10 years. I can’t help but think, “WHY DOES IT MATTER? One of you has X amount of dollars, the other has Y amount, and it costs Z amount. No matter who pays, the end result is (X+Y)-Z.” My wife and I do not leave room for that kind of argument. We both see all the income. We both make the spending decisions. When she wants some free spend, she’ll ask, and we can budget for her to have some. She’s the spender, I’m not, so giving her that dose of freedom does a world of good for her mental health, but she never demands to decided how we spend based on how much she made.

[@karlnord1429]

If you are in control then its a completely different ballgame. The "we" and "our" thing works if one partner has both more authority and more responsibility. The breadwinner needs the superior position.

[@guardoeddie]

Sounds like she wants access to his money now that she has no job, but doesn't want to share or spend her money.

[@jaust9077]

No. She actually the one who Doesnt want to combine finances

[@Veiled_Emotions_4U]

Its smart not to combine. She will use the money and then say "i need to use" For x..separate and keep them separate. Marriages fail and then you have to separate anyway. When marriages have been failing and not lasting at all money is the issue with there being a lack thereof. Shes just desperate for the financial freedom she had before.

[@MizAlexandria]

But wouldnt it be automatic that if one spouse loses their job then the income of the working spouse is the household income?? So that would mean cutting back considerably, making adjustments in the household budget and a freeze on extracurricular stuff.

[@songindarkness]

Exactly! I think what she is trying to say (just badly) is that her husband thinks he can spend exactly as before she lost her job and the household income went down. Sounds like they need to sit down and have some hard conversations.

[@takiyahhood2644]

She is talking about how responsible she is. It might not be because she think or state how responsible she is. I think she now wants to combine their finances to feel financially secure after losing her job.

[@AryaRealty]

Smart guy. I wouldn't want to combine either. Pay everything 50/50 because they are your spouse and it's a partnership. But combining finances just leads to headaches and fights.

[@TILLEYJS]

Correct.

[@nantay254]

Three accounts; his allowance, your allowance, joint account to pay HOUSEHOLD bills.

[@barbarradevlin9111]

One of the best pieces of advice from an NCO I got in the Army: “Don’t get married until you’re five years in. And whenever you get married, have 2 separate accounts for each of you and a joint savings account, but only if you actually both want to have a joint account of some kind.”

[@brendondowdy5651]

Late reply lol but all studies show are clear on that being awful advice.

[@zackiechan7895]

​@@brendondowdy5651 Just out of curiosity, how exactly is this a bad idea? Jody is a busy guy when you're out on deployment. Can't get cleaned out if you don't have a shared account.

[@brendondowdy5651]

@zackiechan7895 lol yes I'm well aware of Jody. But did you listen to this video? He talks about how basically all the stats show combining finances is better at generating wealth.

[@zackiechan7895]

@@brendondowdy5651 I did indeed watch the video. My concern is that military personnel has a higher divorce rate than any other profession. And considering that the U.S. divorce rate is 40-50% and family law heavily favors women im a bit concerned as to whom you would be building wealth for. Plus with one of the parties being gone for extended periods of time it's very easy for one party to develop an out of control spending habit. It's just a massive risk in my opinion. In terms of building wealth you are correct it's best to combine accounts.

[@webbie1891]

I don't ever make the same mistake twice... I make it 4-5 times, just to be sure!

[@mrheatibmor]

😂

[@La_sagne]

sounds like you made it twice twice.. and sounds like you should go back to maths class

[@makethepenniescount]

lol

[@divemanred]

If Dave’s wife left him his tune would change 100%

[@TheDjcarter1966]

Wouldn't wish that on anyone but yeah with half his money gone he might feel just a little different.

[@aolvaar8792]

GOOGLE, $974 Million Divorce Settlement Check, (Hand written) Give the ex-wife a billion and tell her bye

[@ddfamf88]

Brandon Boyd - impossible

[@barbararepko4824]

So true. I hate that he has double standards for women.

[@hrushikeshavachat900]

Have 4 accounts. First is a joint account for common expenses. Second is a joint account for building wealth through repaying debt or investing. Third is his personal account for him to do what he wants, and the fourth is the same for her. The 3rd and 4th are also the salary accounts, and a fixed amount is transferred to 1st and 2nd account from both.

[@gorkyd7912]

Only if they have no self-control. But if they have no self-control this will all fail anyway. Just need 1 account with self-control. Secret bad choice spending isn't 1 person hurting the other, it hurts the person who spends just as much or more; they both go broke together.

[@pep590]

No one's going to MAKE ME combine my accounts!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DeionSardines]

Translation: husband doesn’t give me enough spending money.

[@DeionSardines]

christ1313 ty

[@aubreytraverse.]

DING DING DING!

[@Justsayingthat]

This would make sense

[@davem4193]

It really is that simple.

[@DeionSardines]

Dave M right, women typically only care for a man because of what they can provide.

[@Justsayingthat]

I know a woman who had all the bills in her name and the husband just contributed. Turned out he was hiding money from her and the children and ran off with a woman. Sometimes people don't want to merge accounts because they are doing no good.

[@mrheatibmor]

Wait a minute, why all the my my my and not our?

[@texan903]

She is preparing for a divorce. Most likely she reevaluated the marriage after losing her job and realized that now is the best time for her to make the break as she is unemployed, won't have to pay him anything and once he combines finances with her, she will bail with both their money.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@christopherbeddoe406 Only if there is inequality in the money and spending. My wife and I are retired on pensions(~ the same amount), I pay for everything, but Food and the 4 kids. We both have money left over every month (very low cost of living and No Debts)

[@roythousand13]

The Husband is a smart man!

[@Buaastroctyes]

I don’t wanna share finance with a partner. I rather have it desperately as long we both pay our bills LOL

[@jennyberger6688]

He shouldn’t be a “partner” he should be a husband. Go somewhere else.

[@BiggSneaddd]

@@matilda628 Andddd, that doesn't mean the next woman going to do the same thing. 100% FACTSSSSSSSS is wen you die you will not be able to take anything with you.

[@SergioGurrola]

@@matilda628 sorry to hear that, did you had any kids on that relationship?

[@BeyondThe-b3v]

Facts !

[@dwadholm1]

My wife and I had combined our finances for 20 years. It wasn't until we started separating some of our finances that we started making progress on our debt snowball... When we combined everything we both misbehaved and then pointed at each other as the problem. Now, if I misbehave there is only me to blame.

[@littlebritian2822]

bingo 4.30 time stamp....she kinda shot herself in the foot she wants him to help her & share HIS but she doesn't want to share hers....and I suspect when they get into fights she reminds him of what's hers & what his example "get out my house since its my mortgage" NO WONDER HE DONT WANT TO COMBINE....she is selectively leaving it out & since she is out of work she wants to change the rules that she part created with HERS AND MY AND I...smh

[@texan903]

She's going to divorce him and doesn't want to fight over the money now that she's unemployed. Combining the money will disarm the husband as she will have more leverage in her selfish quest to weaken her husband. The worst thing he could do at this point is to agree to her proposal.

[@MOBMJ]

I can't stress. this enough, there's nothing wrong with keeping things separate.this is the 21 century. stop living in the old days and doing things by the book. every millionaire do their own things and think outside of the box, and create and do there own things .

[@battleclover9537]

I have a wife (roommate). She is terrible with money. If we shared finances, I would have nothing. I tried early in the marriage putting $5,000 into a joint account. It was supposed to be used for rent and utilities. When the rent came due at the start of the month, that money was gone.

[@chieppachat9381]

Husband and wife become one that means you share everything not my income are income.

[@Mike-xn9ho]

My wife and I have separate finances and it has helped us budget so much better. Previously when combined we missed payments because we couldn’t tell what each other were spending money on and would drain the bank before payday. Our idea of budgeting was totally different, we made countless budgets trying to get on the same page. This only works for us because we make nearly identical incomes, have the same amount of debt and now are both goal oriented to getting out of debt. Once we pay off these CC I think we will recombine.

[@JudePi-jx7yo]

If you make similar income it is much better to keep seperate

[@siat11]

Married and not sharing finances? That is a road towards divorce. If you can't share, don't marry.

[@TILLEYJS]

Divorced. He then gets a younger, hotter woman. Sounds like a win to me.

[@schawnettarobinson8584]

It is tough to share.

[@TILLEYJS]

@@schawnettarobinson8584 it's not tough to share. It's just dumb to have the same bank account.

[@MrTmenzo]

She lost her job and now wants to share finances? Haha she should get another job

[@schawnettarobinson8584]

@@TILLEYJS It is tough to trust. I’ve seen situations go the other way.

[@oscueq]

her tone shows there's a lot more than financial issues there

[@vanevicious9041]

Combining finances is an old adage. Every person is responsible for their own finances married or not. There’s no such thing as equality when one person does all or most of the lifting.

[@sumobowler3790]

if you don't want to carry all the lifting don't marry

[@nic_ccc3366]

I think you're missing the point a bit - when you marry you TAKE ON the other person's EVERYTHING. Debts, assets and everything in between. I agree that you don't have to combine finances, but it's something that you both need to be on the same page about (or else someone will call Dave Ramsey lol). And remember, in the event of a divorce, even if finances aren't "combined", everything is still split down the middle.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@nic_ccc3366 50/50 not true, House acquired prior to marriage and placed into trust. Retirement, non-contributory and sealed Savings, non-contributory and sealed Try not to use Totality Words like: everything, only, always, never, just

[@nic_ccc3366]

@@aolvaar8792 Yes of course if you have a prenup or take other measures to protect your assets acquired prior. But most people don't really have that much to protect lol. The point that Dave makes regarding marriage though, is that you're supposed to share everything. It's a legal union, where you stop thinking in terms of "me" and think "we". If that doesn't sound appealing, then don't get married. The longer you’re married and when kids become involved, it gets harder to “separate” things and everything can be challenged in court.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@nic_ccc3366 my wife and I married in our late 50's, when we acquired children. She would never marry me. " Why buy the pig when all you want is sausage" a girls remark "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free" a boys remark Why do married couples with kids have higher household incomes? Perhaps it is because they are not primarily driven by greed but something quite the opposite: a willingness to make sacrifices so their children may live better lives. It is telling that married couples with children tend to end up with higher incomes than people who only need to maintain a household for themselves.

[@timothyswauger3984]

When I was married, I combined finances with my wife and that was the main reason our marriage failed. She was a spender and I was a saver so our philosophies on managing money just didn’t mesh.

[@John_DaMan]

definitely..i think most modern women are spenders, cause their philosophy is "his money is my money, and my money is my money". There isn't or rarely a woman like my mom anymore, who is a tradition woman, who controls the finances but saves and always think about the family first. Modern women think about themselves first. But then again, my mother is a Vietnamese woman born in Vietnam, in the 1940s. Totally different culture and time period.

[@karenmassey8354]

Why didn’t you ask her if she was a spender or saver prior to getting married?

[@timothyswauger3984]

@@karenmassey8354 I knew she was a spender because she had over $10,000 of consumer debt but I thought I could change her. Was I ever wrong. I learned that you can’t change people, you can only accept them for who they are.

[@StephH0711]

Yeah no to this advice. I was able to watch this play out in my childhood and it was a disaster. Luckily my responsible parent kept a separate bank account as well, otherwise our family would have been in the dog house literally. People are too selfish and narcissistic and all it takes is one person to think us while another thinks me to destroy everything.

[@1.5Koreans0.5American]

Thank you for sharing

[@RemcoStoutjesdijk]

I've heard the room mate argument, to which I replied that room mates pay half the rent. That ended that swiftly.

[@l4StarPS3l]

Imagine not being essential

[@brendondowdy5651]

She's so good with finances that she lost her job and needs his money lol.