My Adult Daughter Is Asking For Money, Should I Help Her?

💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...

[@dr.bradshaw]

This lady annoyed me on so many levels. And also, how in the heck does someone have a 250k yearly household income and only have 200k to their name in a 401k?!?

[@Aznmf]

Keeping up with the joneses...

[@corinnemcwilliams3954]

hopefully her house is worth a mil

[@katejennings7749]

I know there are caps on what you can save in different retirement accounts, but at that age with that income you can both live comfortably on less than $75k easily and be hoarding money into many different kinds of assets fast. They could buy a rental property a year in cash with that income and have an even greater income. Hopefully she’s not that dumb with money and just terrible at sharing her real financial picture.

[@TheSterlingArcher16]

I know right? I feel so many of these callers are complete nitwits who somehow pull in crazy amounts of money.

[@sophiarose9610]

Archer they’re obviously not nitwits if they pull in crazy amounts of money.....

[@katielindsey5758]

This lady called him why did she call him if she doesnt want his advice.

[@roncur]

Ikr

[@HamiltonRb]

Katie Lindsey Because she wanted Dave to say what she wanted to hear. I think she has already told her daughter she would help her and now doesn’t know what to do

[@katielindsey5758]

@@HamiltonRb yeah I agree!

[@mikenelson8377]

Lots of people do this...😑🤦🏼‍♂️

[@larrybud]

Argruing with husband, wanting to get Dave on her side

[@eurekahope5310]

Why on Earth buy a house in the middle of a divorce? Why on Earth give money to someone making a decent income who just got a settlement but won't share the amount? Why on Earth make $250K per year and only have $200K saved for retirement at 60? I wish her the best but hope the rest of us can learn from this...

[@roncur]

Facts.

[@63SpaceGirl]

I believe there is a misunderstanding. I believe the settlement the caller was talking about was for the house. On the other hand the daughter should have figured out what to do with her rental agreement before signing an offer on another place to live.

[@greenAbbot]

You pointed out the most important part of this call. That woman is way, way behind in retirement savings and has no business giving money to anybody. No one in this family is thinking 10 minutes ahead with their finances.

[@ElPikante503]

White people problems

[@eurekahope5310]

SweetTooth Wow? Only white people buy houses at bad times? Only white people give people money without checking circumstances? Only white people are irresponsible in their retirement savings? And, only white people can be racist, right?

[@jjman533]

Enabling mother wonders why her daughter is that way?

[@marywebb9127]

Yep 👍

[@wolfsden6479]

The davouering mother ... it's a story as early as time.

[@queenonyxbutterfly]

Wow! I just read your comment and unfortunately that is me currently smh I am working on becoming a non enabler

[@georgewagner7787]

My parents did great. Very loving but dropped me off at school at 17 and waved goodbye. Always said i could come in an emergency which i did once. Dad would say, Home is where when you have to go there, they have to take you in !

[@taurusthebull76]

@@georgewagner7787 Never let going home be an option dude.

[@cmiovino]

Parents make a combined $250k/year and only have ~$200k in their nestegg. Given they retire, they'll be broke in 2-3 years.

[@UnknownUnknown-tu3be]

I Know that's insane.

[@MrWarrenRB]

Yeah that doesn’t make sense, those parents are in bad shape.

[@benjaminnigjeh6902]

they will be broke in 10 month.

[@georgewagner7787]

They can't retire

[@wendybryan6071]

They can't afford to retire. Ever.

[@chasa4347]

why even waste the call to Dave? Listening to the conversation, the money is going to be given.

[@Mag1c4lyfe]

So she can be on KZbin lol.

[@drewpatterson8261]

Most of these people calling into Dave's show are simply looking for validation, and when he doesnt give it to them they get all upset/confused.

[@kevini4295]

I'm 45, my Mom and Dad are in their 70s God bless them. I am trying to clean up my own financial mess right now. My Mom and Dad have money and would help if I asked them. But I will eat ramen before I ask/beg them for money. Love them too much to put my financial stress on them!

[@SteveSabbai]

DO NOT LEND MONEY TO ANYONE. Trust me on this. I learned the hard way. I loaned money to family/friends/coworkers. None of them paid me back.

[@nebelung1]

I think it's fine to do it if you can afford to do it.. But if they don't pay back... well then they won't get a single dime from me in the future.

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

Saying no to your children is a lost art. She’s gotta get herself out out this. If not she’ll do it again and teach it to her kids in the process.

[@MalevolentElephant]

Casey Burns Investing I agree to an extent, although I would say you have to be careful because this is exactly why a lot of our nations elderly get thrown in nursing homes and ignored by their kids in their older years. Adults do have to be responsible but karma can come and often does from turning your back on your kids

[@CaseyBurnsInvesting]

Malevolent Elephant she needs to give up her deposit and come home, that’s not turning your back, it’s preventing mistakes.

[@nappyqueen86]

Casey Burns Investing so true. I see that mindset in my family

[@georgewagner7787]

People can't even see their own behavior. Someone i know has daughter asking everyone for money. Mom says i told her not to but mom did it all her life.

[@christinaheuer7169]

Ugh this woman talking was hard to listen to. So defensive and slow. Her daughter’s problems are her daughter’s problems.

[@mikenelson8377]

Xtina Nunyabizz most women are hard to listen to

[@christinaheuer7169]

Mike Nelson touché

[@OpalRavenna]

That call should have been about why this woman, with a combined income with her husband of $250k, but has saved only $210k in retirement at age 60.

[@marbs8615]

OpalRavenna SERIOUSLY

[@personalfinancedeclutter5803]

OpalRavenna I guess they missed the whole *you should save 8 times your annual income by 60* boat!

[@kimjong-un5562]

They can still retire rich if they try

[@bigbeatyswollocks4859]

But their combined income night have been alot less than 250k until recently which could explain why they've only got 210k in savings atm

[@Aznmf]

@@personalfinancedeclutter5803 maybe they had student loans? Big house? Mercedes? Vacations.

[@jvolstad]

My Mom financially helped some of my siblings over the years. Worse mistake she ever made. It made them dependent rather than independent.

[@lmbarnes3]

She is so secretive about the whole thing. She should advise her daughter to rent and after a year then decide. She needs to get out of the deal. This lady is not open with the facts.

[@GenExDividendInvestor]

Don't bail her out. Its better for her to feel the decisions she is making, and then she will wake up.

[@Juan-oq4xf]

I love how Dave always says that he thinks their not gonna listen to him. This is so entertaining

[@nehifamily]

Dave was so patient there! I don’t even know why this woman called in when it was obvious she wasn’t actually ASKING a question. Her mind was made up.

[@georgewagner7787]

Some people need backup though. Not sure about her, hope she listened

[@iBJanky]

She’s gonna give her daughter the money anyway. She just called hoping that Dave would say it’s ok. Too bad she didn’t get the advice she wanted to hear 😅

[@marquies234]

Yup I was saying the same thing she just wanted validation. Uncle Dave picked up on it and just said do what you want but I wouldn’t do it

[@Hansa7122]

Why does this lady call if she doesn't even listen....I wonder.

[@kimjong-un5562]

They make 200k a year with no retirement , they need to save hard the next 7-8 years and retire with 900k+

[@Aznmf]

Doubt it. They blow through money like the joneses

[@patty109109]

How? Now they have a new mortgage and Missy’s shopping bill to cover.

[@michaelb.8953]

Maybe they should just move to North Korea.

[@reesercliff]

They live in Maryland, a very expensive area for homes. Their home is probably worth close to a million. They could easily sell it and move to a low cost of living state and live like kings

[@heypiggy]

You’re calling Dave Ramsey, why is he having to pull Information out of you?? You want help right?

[@simplywine00]

Candy Caneforyou Yea, that was a pretty painful conversation

[@WCGwkf]

She wanted him to tell her to give her daughter money to buy a house she cant afford

[@brewanalysis2764]

She is going to give her daughter the money. You can hear it in her voice. She doesn't know how to say no.

[@dks13827]

Yes.

[@drunclecookie216]

my sister and her husband make a combined $200k a year and they still ask my parents for money even though my parents only bring in half of that. it makes me sick

[@KS-cl8br]

Tell your parents to be equal between you and your siblings.

[@kaydublin5164]

😮

[@kaydublin5164]

@@KS-cl8bryeah, my in-laws gave their daughter money all the time and their 3 sons NOTHING, THERES always a mooch child.

[@KS-cl8br]

@@kaydublin5164 More the parents fault than the child. I guess they can spend their last days alone without their other kids and grandkids.

[@rocketdogticker]

They make a quarter-million a year and they have nothing WOW. Boomers!

[@personalfinancedeclutter5803]

Somehow after listening to the call I’m not surprised! Even if you make a lot but spend it all, you’re left with nothing!

[@rocketdogticker]

@@personalfinancedeclutter5803 Right. Like it will always be sunny out

[@christianyork5012]

Ok boomer

[@christianyork5012]

@ ok boomer

[@christianyork5012]

@ you know its just a joke that founded on the fact that the baby boomer era was the first to hand off less wealth to their upcoming generations because of overconsumption and with the changes that accoured in the 60's resulting in millions of middle class Americans dropping out of the race essentially during the "spiritual revolution" at said time. The fact that people get irritated by that joke, especially when they are boomer age, is even more showing of the insecurity associated with that generation. Honestly I dont care because what matters right now is that we break the cycle of overconsumption and aimless/pointless career/ educational paths that the boomer era has set up.

[@MyNameIsCorey]

I'm feeling like this is a interrogation more than an actual conversation Dave shouldn't have to continuously yank info out of her

[@DougAlesUSA]

MyNameIsCorey I was thinking the same thing then found your comment.

[@imhome417]

When someone makes a big ask, people should expect some uncomfortable questions. No one is getting large amounts of money from me if they can't give me details on their own finances. That's a big red flag when people make a big ask and provid very few details.

[@cathyl7944]

Sounds like she was scared to give too many details in case her daughter heard the call.

[@michaelb.8953]

With a voice like that it's pretty hard not to be recognized.

[@Hankandrex]

Thank you, Dave!! What kind of person signs a contract she knows she cant afford/execute unless the plan is to ambush someone later?? Manipulation at its best. I had a friend who does this stuff and she is not doing well right now because her parents always gave in and now she has no idea how to take care of her own self.

[@adamchavez999]

Don't enable her,I agree with Dave.

[@TopShot501st]

Im still blown away that people making $250k a year at age 60 dont have anything invested/saved. It makes sense that the daughter doesnt understand money when her mom doesnt either.

[@tyasiadavis4153]

My mother will not help me on any level. My business endeavors, losing my home, I have been ten toes down for my mother. Especially taxes. She will go over and beyond for my sister. This has built a lot of resentment!

[@miriambertram2448]

Makes 65k and asked mom for 500 for credit catd

[@johnhodgson9631]

Miram Bertram, Ridiculous is right !!!

[@marysimmons1]

I caught that, Dave just let that one slide. This means she's asked for money before, and a mere $500 on a credit card is not for an emergency. It shows a pattern of "help"

[@annietribble3062]

I definitley agree. It might show the daughter who is an adult may have a spending problem.

[@calidawl]

This lady sounds like she makes too much money for her level of intellect

[@CogitoBcn]

Probably a public servant or works in her husband business.

[@alanharding2485]

This tough love is what all kids needs

[@janhatcher6991]

she needs to keep herself in her apartment until she can make more money. What makes her think she is gonna buy a house and mom will give her the money? Don't give her anything you're not helping her.

[@theGrayArea2]

If the daughter gets her point across as slow as her Mother does, I could see why the husband may be divorcing

[@LifeHappens2]

😂😂

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

Lol!! She drove me crazy. It's like she wouldn't volunteer any information, Dave had to keep asking and asking for information she should have said upfront. Plus she sounded like she had a chip on her shoulder the same time!

[@thomasreedy4751]

Only 200k in 401k with a 100k plus (potentially times 2) income approaching retirement? Is there a good sized pention your not telling anyone about because if not, you should be focused on your own future. Financially bailing a working adult out should not be one of your priorities.

[@rocketdogticker]

Guess all that free love in the seventies wasn't free lol.

[@michelarosier1918]

First.👏🏼

[@buffymcmuffin5361]

Daughter just bought a house and expected Mom to pay. "If she's wants your money you get to be involved in the decision."

[@chadfeathers3001]

Her husband said no. She called Dave. He said no. Her daughter will manipulate until she caves in. The end

[@MsLady-gb3gy]

No, don't give it to her

[@BatBrakesBones]

The daughter is trying to take advantage of the mom.

[@wolfofdubai]

The question is to find the real problem why this person need the money. Give the poor people fish, they can eat a day. Show them how to fish, feed them for the lifetime!

[@michelarosier1918]

Amen

[@mikewright2858]

They don't have enough for their retirement, the daughter needs to take care of herself. Sounds like the daughter makes enough to support herself, and furthermore made stupid decisions and now wants Mom to bail her out.

[@annmarieb987]

I could feel this woman's negative vibes through the phone, her daughter is bad with money because she learned it from mummy🙊

[@jessicacarmen2458]

I don't understand why this woman called for advice. She clearly already made up her mind. Kept arguing with Dave over everything he said. Smh

[@thehappycamper6789]

She said their income is 250k a year only after him pulling that out of her. And only $200K in their retirement? I don’t believe their income.

[@cherrytung]

I lol'd at "my ADULT daughter"

[@retiredmanager510]

Respect to you and congratulations! on your purchase!

[@cherrytung]

@@retiredmanager510 oh hey! haha

[@sbrazenor2]

I keep it simple with family. No loans at all.

[@MrsThollo]

Where the heck is her daughter's money going that she and/or her husband couldn't pay a $500 credit card bill? She makes $65,000/yr; her and those kids can survive without Mom. And why in the heck did she sign a contract on a house without money...and HOW???

[@PPE707]

The mom is an enabler.

[@Irene-gq4jr]

The best thing my mum did was stop helping me out when my ex - not married - was dragging me into financial problems, which it turns out he was a lifelong expert at creating. Until then I hadn't asked for a penny since I graduated and got a job. It really was the right way to love me, by focusing me on how my future was going to pan out if I let this keep happening. A few months after I split with him I was back on an even keel. He has been cashing in pensions to live off.

[@michellem9444]

I love it when the caller sounds annoyed when they're given advice they didn't want. Some sound sheepish, but this lady just sounded ticked off!

[@James_Kiel]

If you want to help her out - pay and go to FPU with her.

[@jrshark3773]

She sounds like she's hiding something, that's not good and she's trying to be a Hero.

[@KevinNordstrom]

Over 200k annual Income, has worked for nearly 40 years and only 200k in 401. That's insane

[@musiicfreakk93]

I wish i had parents who gave me money. I’m a college student and already make 40k just because my mom can’t afford to help me out, I depend on myself.

[@georgewagner7787]

Be proud. You did it!

[@nealp885]

These type of women like her daughter is the type of women us men need to avoid relationships with.

[@KidCity1985]

It sounds like shes the one with money in her marriage

[@patty109109]

60 years old, $250k income, $200k 401k. They are SEVERELY behind on retirement-like twenty years behind at that income level. No to daughter. Classic enabler. She is actually hurting her daughter-studies have shown giving adult children money generally causes long term reduction in their net worth. This lady is profoundly weak and literally damaging her daughter.

[@WISHBONEL7]

That call was about more than just money .

[@wordsrwind22]

Surprised he didnt say anything about her not being in a position to give or loan money. She’s not ready for retirement!

[@deanalbertson7203]

It seems like the daughter wants the mom to cash flow every decision she makes. Credit cards, divorce, apartment, breaking a lease, house, what's next? The Mom should probably be putting more money away for her own retirement.

[@justwanted2]

Agreed! If you want money its contingent on involvement. Boom!

[@micaw7791]

Exactly!!

[@WowRixter]

Like mother like daughter. Both sound like they have trouble managing money

[@gsmith5140]

Yeah, she's gonna do it. And then call back asking how to rebuild her 401(k) after her daughter drains it.

[@matthewlangley3524]

Giving incomplete information runs in the family.

[@ronwhiteleo3352]

Single mom with 2 kids is tough,, if she has money coming in and wants money from me, then she has to give me all the details..

[@RealityGutPunch]

I can tell this lady is making more money than she works for.

[@billyrayband]

Mommy is a horrible saver for retirement, so she is not got much help. Is daughter getting child support from X? 60K single with 2 kids is pretty lean to buy a house. She should wait 2 years, maybe find a sugar daddy.

[@ashfitrn]

🤣😂

[@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro]

billyrayband omg 😆

[@donnafontaine2799]

Probably sugar daddy will be this girls next move

[@MrKewlplayer]

My daughter is getting a settlement..how much? ..i don't know..next question...i don't know. Do you know what time it is? I don't know. Her daughter wants to borrow money and she wants play money on the side. Thats why the smokescreen. Thats why she is not telling..besides buying a house during or just after a divorce..give yourself time to heal emotionally. Buying a house is emotional all by itself.

[@c103110a]

$250K per year earnings and they have $250K saved in 401Ks for retirement at age 60. Wow.

[@anitahoffman5927]

You should have helped her in the earlier years and taught her about BIRTH CONTROL.

[@Ant0417]

She makes 60k and needs money why? Also, Mom sounds defensive and unwilling to listen. All around an annoying call.

[@rhoonah5849]

It never amazes my how adults can't make their own way through their problems. I would never call into a stranger's radio show, expert or not, and ask if I should give money to my kids. That's my decision and I'm grown up enough to make it. With that being said, there is a point where adult children need to be just that... an adult and be responsible for their actions. If her daughter wants to buy something that she can't afford then wish her well but don't be stupid enough to enabler her bad decision making.

[@mdgraystone]

I'm reminded of what Forest Gump used to say, "Stupid is as stupid does."

[@LoriFoster]

Let her fix her own place with her own money.

[@jamesmccloud3916]

I'm not even married to her but I divorce her to!!! ask her Mom to pay off a credit card $500 when she makes 50 a year What a joke she's not a grown woman she still a little girl

[@cheezinproductions9167]

Qtr mil a year household and only 200 in 401k??? They both have an issue of living above their means.

[@Jason-uw3wn]

She can’t say no to her daughter. Plain and simple

[@Lmarjorie1]

I have a feeling this mom already committed to give the money. Not trusting mom is telling all

[@Evita_Raylena]

Ugh...this call just irritated me! 🙄😤

[@MG707]

my parents ask for money all the time super annoying

[@knowthyself8233]

No wonder she is in a middle of a divorce. Some untitled child. Child walking in a grown woman body.

[@joank.0421]

This call [and caller] made me crazy 🤪 Dave is trying to help and she's not being open about what's going on... she's probably encouraging the daughters stupid decisions.

[@bostonterriermomakasandy9722]

Dave totally agree with you.

[@Melly_Ville]

How are you buying a house but need help paying to do so? She doesn’t need to be trying to buy a house smh

[@marcdonvito6485]

If she had to borrow $500 to pay a credit card, how can she afford to buy a house? Is she trying to borrow the down payment from her mother?

[@michelarosier1918]

Facts.

[@spectacularrichbeautybrilli]

Because Mommy is in the "habit" of bailing her out...some guilt trip?? So the daughter is in the habit of looking for a hand out from Mom.

[@bee12355]

This was painful

[@exophthalmos1]

Daughter like mother. No wonder!!

[@charlottech9990]

Really a wise man

[@tmusa2002]

Why did she call and then act like he’s being too invasive with his questions? Also, she doesn’t seem happily married.

[@aptate1988]

Throwing good money after bad😠

[@FranDaMan-23]

so she called to seek advice that she didn’t plan on taking?

[@03mta]

wow... that woman is lost

[@fhuber7507]

She got the daughter she trained...

[@littleearthquakes3183]

This is bizarre to me b/c my parents would absolutely help me in any way they could but perhaps its b/c I've always paid them back and I never ask them for money

[@arleneaugustahair8393]

NO! If you were dead, what would she have done? She would have figured it out on her own!

[@michelarosier1918]

Facts.

[@brothertom5909]

I bet the daughter is ''strong & independent''......but asking parents to cough up. How many times have I heard that!

[@spectacularrichbeautybrilli]

It's an Adult-Child SCAM

[@dks13827]

A million times.

[@SvPVids]

her mom knows her daughter has money stashed somewhere and is still asking the mom for money

[@james1787]

That lady already had her mind made up that she's giving the money to her daughter. She's going to cash out a chunk of that 200k 401k. Not sure why she bothered calling Dave.

[@ChicagoTRS]

Makes 250K has 200K in retirement accounts at 60 y/o - work on your own retirement honey. It is crazy that you are making that much money and have less than a year of income saved at that age.

[@videoomaster]

This lady just leaves so much information out of her story and doesn't seem to answer him honestly in full. Like why did you call?

[@placksheep]

Derp! We make 200k annually and have 200k in our 401k at age 60 😒