Therapist Shares 3 Tips to Make EFFECTIVE BOUNDARIES that You Can Stick To!

What's Anya Mind, Friends?
For a lot of us, it's how to make a boundary and actually stick to it. Protecting your peace is so critical for your emotional, mental, and relational well-being. Today, I'm sharing 3 tips that can make enforcing your boundaries more doable. Have you ever struggled with setting and enforcing boundaries?
FIND A THERAPIST//
www.aamft.org/Directories/Fin...
SOCIAL MEDIA//
Instagram: @ _steph.anya
Facebook: /steph.anya.fb
GEAR//
Camera: amzn.to/2xJoybv
Mic: amzn.to/2XPZjin
Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
Mic: amzn.to/2ZxBDA4
Audio Recorder: amzn.to/3bUKG0J
Flash: amzn.to/3czlgGI
Lighting: amzn.to/2XnyQaa
Theme Song:
Prod. NDO: / ndobeats
Prod. Mari Beats: / @maribeats
In-Video Music:
Prod. Yatesey Productions: / jswish951

[@YemiAyodeji]

#3 is so important. We don't want to go overboard even when setting boundaries. Thank you for these tips. So useful. 👏😘

[@StephAnya]

So glad you found it useful! Missed you in the comment section ♥️

[@carolineoram5113]

Need help

[@bruh666]

Sometimes I have trouble accepting someone else's boundaries if they make me feel rejected, which then makes me feel guilty to express my own boundaries and it creates this vicious cycle.

[@howtosober]

One thing I've noticed is that how you communicate boundaries often triggers peoples' internal reward-punishment systems. When someone reacts defensively to a boundary, it often seems to be because they have parentified anyone that sets boundaries and rebels against them, or because it triggers core wounding around shame or "I am defective" and they subconsciously take it personally. For anxious or fearful avoidant attachment styles, setting boundaries can feel very all-or-nothing and trigger abandonment fears (or in case of the FA, deactivation/shutdown). It's wild how complicated boundaries between people can get. I've found it helpful to keep in mind that boundaries and expectations are very different things. If it's about controlling someone else, it's an expectation.

[@StephAnya]

The parentification/rebel dynamic is a really interesting theory! I'm loving reading your takes on these concepts.

[@dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664]

#2 realistic boundaries, this is a important subject matter. Thank you so much.

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for watching! ♥️

[@NDObeats]

I have been scheduling time to take certain calls regarding business so I don't get overwhelmed. Great tips!

[@StephAnya]

You got this! That's a great boundary!

[@rmy_Youtube]

These are very useful and realistic boundary tips. Thank you Steph Anya!

[@StephAnya]

Glad it was helpful!

[@gingermcmahon3479]

i just had to set a boundary today and i felt so much fear and anxiety doing it. i have an anxious attachment style due to being parentified as a child, having to emotionally support my mother and my siblings while additionally being put down and scapegoated by a narcissistic stepfather i learned to have 0 boundaries and to overinvolve myself in the emotional well-being of others. not only did i not learn what boundaries were, but i didn’t understand how to respect or implement them for most of my young life until my late teens when i started therapy. im referring to emotional boundaries btw i have deep abandonment fears and core of self-neglect and low self-esteem that i’m working on in therapy. i had to set a boundary today with a former boss who violated my emotional boundaries so frequently during my job that i grew extremely depressed to a point i hadn’t experienced in a long time i cried sending the message. but the relief i felt in writing it and knowing that i finally stood up for myself made me know i did the right thing. i’ll continue watching content like yours to keep growing in this direction thank you ♥️

[@cmarti6984]

Thank you! More info on boundaries as a stay at home, homeschooling mom would be greatly appreciated.

[@nettabeatty950]

Great tips...I like your view on you gotta know yourself...that giving money or giving care period is 1 of my biggest fails in my setting boundaries. I really can't take not being there for a certain person and he knows it so he definitely keeps it up and I try so hard not to care but I have to be honest with myself is so right

[@shawncoleman]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 brilliant! Grateful for how much you emphasize the importance of being honest with ourselves around what we will actually do. I'm a boundary coach. I like to encourage my clients to get clear on why they have had a hard time holding certain boundaries in the past. Sometimes we struggle to find our power when we have had it stripped away. Regardless of the reason, we are all worthy of respect and we get to establish boundaries that support us along our self-care/ self-love journeys.

[@hairgoals2649]

Thanks for yet another amazing video!!! It would be great to have a “ day in the life of a marriage therapist “ video.....what your itinerary looks like,what techniques work for you, etc. keep spreading that positivity 🌻🌻

[@StephAnya]

Love that idea! Do you think it’d be interesting while I’m exclusively doing video sessions from home?

[@hairgoals2649]

Oh yeah I didn’t actually consider the current situation....maybe when life gets back to normal.

[@StephAnya]

Okay thanks for being honest haha

[@amerisweetheart]

Hey, this video is awesome!!! I’ll definitely be using these tips!!! Thanks, you’re the best!!!!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@rahmaali4045]

Thank you 😊

[@hannahvanderlinden4236]

Boundaries to keep myself in my lane are just as important as boundaries to keep others out of my lane Aka - don't walk someone else's dog 🐕

[@shawncoleman]

Great point! Not my bull, not my bullshit

[@SmillyDonut]

@@shawncoleman 😂😂 I use "Not my circus, not my monkeys" as a mantra. Started recently.

[@angelinagiovinazzi766]

Thank you

[@tynesha3710]

So you just really looked me in my face and called me out like that, huh? Lol How did you know I'm the type of person that's always getting hit up for money and going to help out anyway out of obligation?! Budget. Got it. Thanks! 😂 Seriously, though, I really struggle with setting boundaries and didn't really know how what to consider when doing so. Thanks again.

[@sweetsnejinka9411]

I'm getting all distracted by the example situations. Maybe there's another video with romantic partner boundary setting? Maybe I'm thinking of something totally different.

[@muxlimah786]

Would you recommend voicing these boundaries or keeping them to oneself and just practicing these new boundaries?

[@yes2542]

Depends on the situation. For me if it's just with myself, I keep it to myself. If it's with others I'd definitely voice it.

[@SmillyDonut]

If it involves someone else, that you have a relationship with, it can be good to let them know in advance. If it's a co-worker or boss, then it might be best to just act on them without verbalizing them. This is also something you can do if you don't feel safe telling the person you are going to be setting boundaries.

[@catsaresocute650]

What if I have somewhat firends (?) who can't understand that I like actually suffer when they call me pretty

[@catsaresocute650]

Like I am lonley and pls be my friends, but also no pls don't say that to me