the good men are OFFLINE

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In this episode, Elle discusses the concept of there being plenty of good men, providing evidence to support her claim. The episode features a discussion on the 'Princess Treatment Competition' and the idea of the 'Divine Masculine Man'. Elle shares various videos that provide examples of healthy, supportive, and respectful relationships. She also discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in a man and how it contributes to a successful and balanced relationship. Elle emphasizes the red flags to watch out for in a relationship, focusing on the negative effects a wrong partner can have on a woman’s health and stress levels. The episode also delves into societal changes, noting that with women now having access to education and money, men are facing a loneliness epidemic, largely due to their lack of emotional intelligence. Elle ends the episode by highlighting the need for men to develop emotional intelligence and provide emotional support, not just financial stability.

[@ayamempress1579]

A masculine man, never has to declare himself. It's in his presence and demeanour

[@CupcakeChan2611]

This !

[@anonymous101-sb1bf]

Very true no need to speak on what he is ... Barely any left most men are zesty

[@chiefbeef5590]

​@@anonymous101-sb1bf exactly spot on are you a female just curious

[@anonymous101-sb1bf]

@@chiefbeef5590 yes im female. My Dad was a full man and when I was younger and didn't realize not every man operates "that way" now that I'm older but still young I appreciate a real man but again not many left

[@chiefbeef5590]

@@anonymous101-sb1bfyeah it's best that you stay around righteous masculine men because most men don't like women and will wish bad on you and most females secretly don't like men its very strange out here 🤷‍♂️ just be sure to examine people thoroughly so you don't get screwed over

[@copperredd]

A divine masculine man is very attractive. But u need to have the self development and growth to bypass all the other red flag men

[@NidzShah-ps6kr]

This! 👆

[@mew9797]

Exactly! I had a friend who had good men pursuing her but she’d always say that they were just friends, she didn’t have feelings for her, etc but then she’d fall in love with & chase the bad guys. That’s the case with many women too, not that they don’t have good options, but because they can’t see them from the level they’re in even if the good guys are right in front of their eyes

[@afrofaeries]

Exactly!!!

[@bandanarathore]

This is so true..

[@cheyennec5546]

Oh my god thank you. Something a lot of people don’t realize is that you attract the love you think you deserve. Don’t expect a good partner to fall on your lap if you lack the emotional/mental maturity, growth, self-love, struggling with mistrust of the other gender, insecurities within yourself, an inability to healthily communicate, or vulnerability. The red flag people who feed off that will keep on coming until you realize something within you keeps attracting them. Once you figure it out & develop those positive traits, they won’t even bother because you’ll be able to weed them out from a mile away & the good ones can start coming in.

[@jeronimamoreno8162]

My boyfriend now husband paid for my college tuition and asked me to stop working and concentrate on school, I completed my B.A. in Economics and managed to appeal my financial aid package to get more grants and scholarships, In the end, the university paid, and reimbursed my tuition which allowed me to paid him back knowing he was not expecting to be paid back. He is also a nerdy man and is not interested in impressing other men.

[@thelostpony6678]

Can you please let me know where did you find him?

[@nono-tg8dn]

​@@thelostpony6678bc I'm bout to order him off Amazon 😂

[@oreoakalaperoji8314]

I wonder what you're doing here

[@anonymous101-sb1bf]

Congratulations 🎉❤

[@julissavalencia1751]

Literally my husband takes on most of the bills rn so I can use most of my earnings to start up and to buy supplies for my dream job as an artist on Etsy rn (Disney paintings) he never guilt trips me for it and actually shows interest (even though Ik he’s not very interested in Disney princesses😂) in it. I do use some of the money to buy things that I’ll see are saved on his wishlists but he never ever asks for the money because he said he chose to provide and loves to see me happy doing my little paintings😂

[@law11school11girly]

My bestie in law school just got engaged to her engineer, spiritually aware, provider man in Zermatt, Switzerland on a ski trip he took her on! He fully supports her as she is full time in law school. He is a great man - and all his friends are, too. THEY ARE OUT THERE! She is a feminine, spiritually, loving person who deserves a supportive & loving partner back

[@Mdubstew]

yay!!!!!! this stuff is real!!!

[@momoz1]

love this!

[@reginageorgetownuni]

Love this for her❤

[@FoundSheep-AN]

I live in Southern Europe and one of my lawyer friends was fully supporting his fiancèe and also proposed with a ring while she was preparing a bar exam (she did not work and he fully provided for her ) By the way, what do you mean with spiritually aware? Like a new ager or something?

[@Twozerofived]

Love it !!!

[@coolbreeze5683]

Be careful because guys are good at manipulating and pretending until they get what they want. They can say they're working on themselves and all that stuff they know you want to hear. If someone is right for you, they will be consistent for a long period of time and there will be no rush or pressure to get into a relationship with them.

[@bikerultimate]

Yeah, the leeches can learn what display would benefit them. If only that energy was redirected into actually learning healthy masculinity.

[@user-qu5js9vw9o]

I know my man has all the words like everything he wants to give me and take care of me of how men are lucky to have women and he’s lucky to have me but the actions all he does is take from me

[@ak-47intelligence75]

The minute he says he's working on himself, I am OUT.

[@tassys]

@@ak-47intelligence75 Many of them are adding this cosplay to their "game". I'll say this, words are cheap, actions are for real. And plenty of women were married to good men. But the good men left them and their kids with zero money for a younger version. That's life. They're still flawed human beings. So good men or not, women should still stay smart.

[@bandanarathore]

My bestie's bf fooled us for a whole year. It's when they started thinking about getting engaged his true colours started showing up..

[@ilona5746]

It’s great to see some positive content about good men for once. Toxic masculinity has traumatized us

[@swordchild0013]

@@AKR088🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@KIll74N]

​​@@tommyt264a man can indeed be toxic and masculine, and it's performative. A mere conformation to the red-pill idealised concept of masculinity, which makes everyone including themself miserable.

[@B0OBIES]

​@@tommyt264 telling a man he can't express his emotions cuz that's not "manly/masculine enough" is the biggest example of toxic masculinity. It's they type of masculinity men seem to advocate for. That being said, toxic masculinity exists as much as toxic feminity exists.

[@gravyoverpotatos]

⁠@@tommyt264 I assume that means you think youve figured it out. If you think you arent the fool, you become him again. If you think you've learned the lesson already, you'll probably do it again. so.. question yourself.

[@anarcho-communist11]

Cooking is considered a woman's job because it's "unending, hidden, and unpaid." Exactly right. Same with child care.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

F that noise! Nah, no more of that 💩 nope.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

You're correct, but when I say F that noise, I mean we've gotta work together to throw that expectation in the trash can where it belongs!

[@christahewitt2758]

My husband does all the cooking 😂

[@sarahrobertson634]

​@@duckyh9712Cooking at home is unpaid. We all know this.

[@chandratownsend3891]

I'm stay- at- home, but my husband and I split the cooking. I have adhd and sometimes I get overwhelmed. He steps in and says things like "don't worry bout nothing but chopping an onion for me" then goes and fires up the grill , his go to for cooking 😂

[@rukiv3701]

out of all the red flags, the worst one for me is immaturity. and the opposite, the biggest green flag is maturity, the best thing ever in a man.

[@月亮-g5f]

Agree

[@l.s.d.5863]

Seconded. It doesn't matter how smart or funny or charismatic he is, how financially successful, how compatible with your hobbies and interests, if he's immature. Maturity is the end-all-be-all of a healthy relationship. Other qualities are negotiable. Being a fucking adult is not.

[@rukiv3701]

@@l.s.d.5863 yeah!!! Learned this the hard way.

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Those kind of men are redundant.

[@Masanumi]

Self awareness!

[@abbyv7984]

When I left my fiancé I didn’t tell too many people. But the amount of comments from people the week-month after I left him that said something like “oh my god you are GLOWING. Whatever you’re doing is WORKING.” Without even knowing all I did was ditch a ✨Devine Feminine Man✨

[@taylormfinney]

Good on you, girl! It sounds like you made the right decision!

[@lindsaypeek63]

Congratulations you are no longer being drained. So happy for you 🎉

[@enfisya]

👏🏼🤍✨

[@vcb2553]

ok, whatever you want to say to make yourself feel better.

[@iceking9664]

She doesn’t need to “make”herself feel better she alrdy does lol

[@toscadonna]

I cook for my girl friends and female relatives; men have never appreciated me going out of my way to cook, so I stopped doing it for them. Even my husband put down my efforts to make fresh bread, meals, and to give him healthy versions of things like pizza and noodles which I made from scratch. Never again.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

I'm sorry your husband doesn't deserve you.

[@WomenAreRottingHoles]

"to give him healthy versions of things like pizza and noodles" I made hot trash and got mad it was called out typical holes

[@Mira-gu6we]

Hi donna. Elle is young, i think a lotta ladies on this channel are young women looking for the 'good' male unicorn. Not saying he doesnt exist. But very few will find one. Its easy for men to treat a young pretty woman in her 20s like a queen. He might be a 'good' man. Once the woman ages, the behavior changes. Its like a unicorn hunt. Elle says her man is the divine masculine. He could be. But those types of guys are usually monks or something. 30 years from now, will he still be divine? Given how visual men are. I think Princella the Queenmaker got it right. Elles still young.

[@yourlittlesecret7575]

@@Mira-gu6weI would assume that divinity is not intermittent, it’s constant and continuous regardless

[@theblackrose7935]

@@Mira-gu6we I guess it goes back to the belief that only a few men should get breeding rights. Monogamy provides women to the masses of men and that is not natural, because men should be competing with each other.

[@snippetx1632]

"You can't grow in survival and softness at the same time" is exactly what is wrong with a lot of the paradigm of men's spaces regarding women.

[@user-lt1jd1ye3v]

This breaks my heart.. we can guard our hearts and be strong and soft too :)

[@Remedy462]

Yes, we literally can, that's what many, many people realize as they struggle with survival, becoming stronger in body, mind, and heart and not becoming bitter, jaded, or cruel.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

I'm 37. I've been dating for a long time and I've dated a lot because Im a pretty attractive woman. Of the MANY, MANY men that I've met, I can say that only two of them would be considered the CREAM OF THE CROP type of men. So ladies, yes, they are out there but the pickings truly are slim. Dont try to turn a frog into a prince. Please learn to stay single and happy if you don't meet the cream of the crop man.

[@MrsTruthTeller]

@@AKR088 I have a man but I also know that cats are better than most men, lol.

[@Arginne]

@@AKR088cats are better than most men, so it’s a win really. We don’t like high cortisol levels that men cause we good.

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

Are you sure?.. I'm a similar age and dated a lot too and havent met a single one 😢

[@AmandaMG6]

@@AKR088 a LOT of us

[@MrsTruthTeller]

@@sparklyunicorn5431 Lol. Its pretty bad out here, I know, but yes, I have met two unicorns. Really, just one of them. He was literally perfection. Like he was created in a special lab. I knew him for years so he wasn't fake or pretending.

[@oldankh]

I'd like to let other women in the comments know that I was paid around $50,000 a year when I was a cook professionally, and I only did breakfast and lunch service. That's the bare minimum amount for your labor you are putting in, your labor and effort has VALUE!

[@rensii-e8b]

Preach sis ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ferwind]

I think it's weird to assign monetary value to your labour in a relationshup in this manner. Stop making it so transactional, people can just pay for services like cooks, cleaning, and even sex. Relationships are about genuine companionship

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

Great sis! Most men want to discredit the housewife labor. I read the story during the covid and I wanted to vomit. The guy spent😮 his wife's stimulus $1200 because according to him, she did not work so she did not deserve her stimulus. This channel is don't get mad, get paid LOL. At the minimum, men must provide for the women they love in trade of your affection, caress, access to your body, and tons of potential unpaid wages. Remember 50/50 is a scam game. Don't fall into this trap. No, we are not feminists. We don't believe in their ideals.

[@Ghosty716]

​@@LoveLife-oo9cz that story is obviously far from the norm. Men expect it as the other part of duties, same way you expect certain duties from them. You never call it disgusting when women say they will never pay for a date, it's a man's job, or that they can never date a broke man, so how is it an issue when in return men want a woman who can and does cook?

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

​@@Ghosty716 My father used to cook on the weekend

[@prettyprincesslexi]

Exactly the kind of content we need! There are good men and it feels good when you're around them because you feel safe, secured, and cherished.

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@DlitMusic]

You are right, I'm loving this content too! 😊✨🌟

[@maura_the_rose]

I think a lot of men expect to be treated like they are the “divine masculine” without doing any of the heavy lifting of actually being that. When a guy is in that divine energy he empowers his partner and suddenly she isn’t expending energy on worry, frustration, shame etc, and is instead able to put her energy into loving on herself and her partner. Divine energy coming from both sides should make your lives easier, not harder. ☺️❤️

[@月亮-g5f]

Exactly this.

[@thelostpony6678]

They want all the benefits of having a traditional woman and none of a traditional man's responsabilities. Can't wait for them to learn the hard way that this simply won't happen.

[@muhammedahmed3291]

​@@bannedmann4469 Yep, you either are or you aren't. That's the issue with the discourse, an "independant" woman who focuses only on her career and nothing else can't expect to bag the type of man she wants. Why? Because the man she wants is looking for a feminine SAHW who makes his house into a home.

[@Ghosty716]

​​@@thelostpony6678 I mean it's the same way women want all the benefits of a traditional man, but jone of the traditional women's responsibilities, everyone in the comment section is complaining that men want them to cook/clean the house, not be masculine etc... so how can you want a traditional man then if you aren't a traditional women? Unfortunately you'll also learn the hard way that that simply just won't happen

[@maura_the_rose]

@@bannedmann4469 that’s also partially true lol. You both have to put in the work.

[@vegito1880]

“We are not training grounds or rebounds for men to learn common decency”❤

[@natty-fo2dl]

I need to pin this on my wall

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

Exactly. Decent people are not chronically online. They don’t spend hours on KZbin, they have hobbies and interests and friends that they spend time with. They work, they do a ton of stuff that isn’t uploading every terrible experience they’ve had on TikTok. You are so very correct. They exist. You just have to be cautious and keep your eyes wide open.

[@anonymous101-sb1bf]

So true both male and female. I don't like men that are always online

[@reesevasquez1200]

The irony. Does that only apply to men? Do you think they like people with similar interested and lifestyle?

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

@@reesevasquez1200 I’m not sure of your question. Can you rephrase? My apologies I’m AuDHD and easily misinterpret. lol I typed out this long response and then I thick it clicked what you are asking. You are saying it’s ironic because I’m watching a woman online and saying that decent men are offline, the implication being that the opposite is also true thereby making myself and the creator of this video charlatans or not decent. And that men don’t like people with similar interests? Did I get that right? I promise you I’m not being a jerk I’m trying to be clear on what you are asking. First Im not sure what dudes look for in women. If you just watched internet videos you’d think men only choose based on looks or what a woman can do for them, but I know plenty of couples that bonded over shared interests. In fact all of the successful ones I know of are that way. In my option the best romantic relationship would occur with a partner who is also my best friend. That is the archetype of a perfect relationship for me. But I realize that not everyone thinks this way and I myself have experienced men in the real world claiming to believe this but in reality they did not. So I’m not suggesting that everyone online is crap whilst everyone offline is golden. Also yes decent women are in the real world and probably online too. For example…I don’t like to say all men are this or that because I know men in real life who are awesome and not terrible. But I watch content like this to remind me to keep my eyes open because I attract abusive and toxic people (it’s an AuDHD super power). These channels remind me of toxic behavior patterns so that when I see them I can protect myself. I watch mostly feminist content for this exact reason. I was so broken and thought I deserved this terrible treatment, I thought I was alone. Then I started watching women like her who featured other women talking about the exact same things I’d experienced. So many women telling stories about abuse and trauma that were exactly like mine and prior to this I had been steeped in basically red pill bro crap because I was mostly around men who didn’t even spend time online. They were just that toxic in real life. One thing I like most about her channel is she says not all men, she’s clear about the type of man she is warning about. It was watching videos online that taught me all men aren’t like that and how to spot good ones. How to spot decent people and how to avoid toxic ones. I don’t know any of these creators personally so I cannot say if they are descent or not. But what I can say is that I refuse to judge all men or women based on what charlatans on the internet say. And before you ask, yes I absolutely think women making videos about thier real lived experiences with men and their abusive behavior is educational and important and in no way comparable to angry men calling all women 304s and saying they want to steal your money or whatever weirdness they preach. Those guys are the problem and are messing it up for everyone.

[@kiriki4558]

​@@anonymous101-sb1bfSaying both men and women when people is used is just whiteknighting men. Don't play the blame equalicer.

[@Remedy462]

​@@anonymous101-sb1bf It doesn't help having obsessive tendencies from anxiety, adhd, and depression. Therapy definitely helps reduce screen time and bad habits.

[@Zullala]

I've dated several men who had no invested friendships... Several of these friendless men relied on me to fulfill every void. Way too much pressure and energy usage on my end! The other guy was just an ass who was unlikable long term and no one would remain friends with him once they saw how self serving he is. I learned my lesson and refused to date any man who didn't have at least one long-term friend. I found a guy who has several great buddies and many outer circle friendships. He's the best guy I've ever been with. Incredibly thoughtful and loving. He also doesn't need me to entertain him 24/7

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@8thousevirgin]

How about a guy who goes to hang out with a female friend?

[@Zullala]

@@8thousevirgin my BF has female friends but we all hang out together. I know his friends really well and I love them a lot. I would personally be completely fine with him hanging out with them alone. However since we are all close friends it's more fun all together, but let's say I was busy or just don't want to go out, I wouldn't care if my BF wanted to go. However if my partner's friends were disrespectful to me or our relationship then yeah, I wouldn't be cool with that. Also if my BF didn't shut the disrespect down immediately then I would leave the relationship. I do not have the energy to fight for the basics.

[@8thousevirgin]

@@Zullala thanks for your reply. I think I trust the bf and his friend because the bf wouldn't risk our relationship as far as I know. However, it is the bf inviting her to go out and he is paying for it (coffee or meal) because he's the one who's inviting and she also has no money. This is what triggered me.

[@gabbiwisteria]

My ex had that big friend group too and all of them were toxic af 😂😂😂. He fooled me goood.

[@valeriew4833]

This is the only type of man allowed to be near me

[@yourbigsisanais]

Same! Any other kind of guy annoys me and I want them to stay far away from me!

[@apversum]

🙌🙌

[@cecilyerker]

It means you have to be alone most of the time and that’s a good thing

[@l.s.d.5863]

lol I wish I was better at setting boundaries like you guys are. Good on you.

[@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg]

What will he get in return...?

[@Nkechi44]

My husband is that man, he provides everything for me, makes me feel safe. I run my own business but he encourages me take the money I earn and reinvest it into my business, and not towards bills. Even though he pays all the bills, he doesn’t expect me to take care of the house all by myself either. He lets me relax, rest, and invest in my business and my health. He exceeds my expectations. I got married a year ago at 30… I patiently waited for my husband and while I was dating I only dated men who were serious about me and didn’t give time to the minimal effort men. Ladies, just keep waiting for that man to show up, and when he does…. Treat him right and hold onto him. Good men exist.

[@natty-fo2dl]

wow, just wow. sounds like u really have a provider man :) really happy for you!

[@natty-fo2dl]

did you know early on in dating that he was the one? were there certain green flags/signs you noticed?

[@julissavalencia1751]

This is me and my husband! My husband also pays all the bills so I can put my money into supplies for my Etsy shop. A year into being together he saw I was really unhappy at a job and he said if I wanted to leave and find something else that I could and he’ll take care of everything because he said it was heart wrenching seeing me come home exhausted and starving because I worked in childcare with no break for 11 hours a day. I thought I had to stick to it because my father and mother always put work above everything but my husband told me my happiness is so much more important than that. We have been married for about 3 years now and he is just as much of an amazing husband as he was at first☺️

[@CamriEloren]

Where did you get your husband to get mine too?? Where is located that men factory???

[@Nkechi44]

@@CamriEloren lol I got him through years of having high standards. Through my 20s I didn’t put up with men who didn’t treat me top tier. Almost a decade later of ignoring and looking past alot of minimal effort men, I finally found someone worthy of me becoming his wife. I did have some high effort men come around too but we weren’t compatible. The key is not entertaining the minimal effort men or men you aren’t compatible with, and accept being lonely over being with them. Low effort men aren’t bad men most of the time, they just do the bare minimum. If you want a husband who doesn’t do the bare minimum, you can’t accept it when you’re dating. Sounds crazy but I always had the mindset of “how would this man treat Rhianna if he had the opportunity to date her?” (You can insert any celebrity or person there) if they aren’t treating you like how they would if they had the opportunity to date her; then they aren’t worth your time. Elle, your channel is amazing and you’re giving the game. ❤️

[@afrinaaest]

We need good, generous, and caring men. Please bestie stay away from bare minimum dusty men. There are a lot of good men out there. Bestie wake up!!!!

[@toxihex876]

You know what I've noticed in retrospect? All the guys who have treated me badly and were incapable of basic self development have been conventionally unattractive. The guys who have treated me the best and have actually learned from their mistakes (nobody is perfect after all) have all been the ones many other women feel drawn to. Unattractive men tend to be insecure and hate you because they're convinced you will leave them and want to tear you down to feel like you're on the level they're convinced they are. Being all "beauty is only skin deep" doesn't work because it will never be appreciated, quite the contrary. The first sign of a high value man is physical attractiveness.

[@l.s.d.5863]

@@toxihex876 There are plenty of douchey attractive guys too. But I think there's something to what you're saying. Partially in that a huge part of conventional attractiveness is simply self care and effort, more than anything physically inherent, and the guys who put zero effort into themselves physically are probably also doing so in other areas of life. And partially because society tends to romanticize the idea of a woman falling for a guy way below her league, it's looked at as her being loyal and humble and such, and the "nice smart ugly guy" finally getting what he "deserves¨. It's just fueled by male fantasy. But that leaves a lot of young inexperienced women with the subconscious assumption that somehow she can expect better from an ugly man, when in reality they're just as bad.

[@toxihex876]

@@l.s.d.5863 Exactly. Going for someone attractive isn't a foolproof way of dodging awful men but the chances of an unattractive guy having truckloads of baggage they're not dealing with and dumping it on you are way higher, plus what you said with the self care thing. It's also ironic how when a woman cares about her looks it's seen as shallow and it's assumed she doesn't care about everything else thus required to prove herself extra times ten, while guys are praised for their sigma grindset in the gym. Conventionally unattractive guys cry about how women don't give them chances and then when a woman suggests why that may be they oppose her because a dude with a mic and a narcissistic disorder who clearly knows women better than they know themselves made a podcast.

[@Mira-gu6we]

​@@toxihex876 disagree. My ex was an attractive narc. Looks dont have much to do with it

[@toxihex876]

@@Mira-gu6we That's not how it works though? How do you disagree with a general rule because you have experienced the exception? Okay then good luck finding an unattractive guy who has his head together, trust me it won't be an easy time.

[@theluminarysoul]

I refuse to advertise that I cook to men because they expect that it means I’ll automatically start doing it for him

[@WomenAreRottingHoles]

then I refuse to protect you deal with the fact cops ae quitting and less and less are able to show up if at all :) not my problem I have a thing called real strength not hogwash trash you call strength in birth xDDDDD

[@luw5244]

Same yeah, I be acting like I don’t know how to boil egg😂😂

[@ZalemMoon]

@@luw5244 I act like I burn toast lol

[@CoREeu]

@@luw5244 Instead of deceiving, how about you talk about it instead? How do you expect men to get better if you don't tell them how to get better? Very immature.

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

@@CoREeu Women are tired of trying to teach men when they’re not listening. If you really wanna learn, there are plenty of women on the internet talking about these issues. Otherwise, we are matching men’s energy. Here’s a starting place for you, look up “weaponized incompetence.” Men aren’t the only ones who can act like they don’t have basic life skills.

[@claudiasnetspace1234]

Before meeting my fiancé, I hated, HATED, to cook, clean, do dishes, just be functional as a person in society. I had rooted issues with eating for a long time and I was in a very unhealthy state when I met him. When I saw that I didn't have to always think, prepare, clean, take care of the house and the food, that he would do it, that's when I wanted to start cooking fresh banana bread with chocolate chips, cookies and bread, I wanted to have a beautiful house to live a beautiful life together, I wanted to crochet hats for him. He works a lot, sometimes even three jobs to make me have all the little things I say I want: he just recently bought me a rocking chair because I just said I'd like to have a rocking chair, and he bought it and assembled it. The good men are out there and they will never brag about being a good man on any platform.

[@smugglersnotch88]

He got you a rocking chair?! How lovely 🥰

[@HigkeyRegarded007]

That’s really sweet. Three jobs is true love for sure.

[@lelz0394]

Its so difficult for me to see a man I love to work for things I don't need...

[@claudiasnetspace1234]

@@kubasniak i didn't write what I do because I felt like giving HIM the praise. I work two part time jobs on top of my degree in language and literature, and while he does all the "leisure spending" because he started working at 15 not completing a cycle of education, I manage all the finance, the mortgage, the bills, the groceries, i cook all the meals. On top of that, yes I'm an amazing pick, because while I wanted and HE WILLINGLY gave me all I ever asked, I lived in welfare housing with him with nothing, no fridge, no heating, no AC, no laundry machine. So yeah, I am amazing, and I'm not settling for nothing lower, that he being a real man, will provide. Because I do the most for him and he does the most for me. Hope this helps xxx

[@TheGamer2001]

Same. I hate cooking for myself, but I love cooking for my boyfriend, especially when I am cooking with him.

[@sha2596]

I’m know plenty of good amazing men. They married amazing women and are raising families happily with their life partner. The key is that these men are emotionally available to their wives and children and know how to invest into their families. They don’t fight. They disagree and or collaborate. These men also make me realize these men don’t leave their wives and children. So at my age, they don’t exist as single men. I’m okay with that.

[@hotchipandphilosophy]

This is my realisation too and it is depressing.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

They might if they've been widowed, OP

[@MJLUCEY-sd1mq]

Polygamy.

[@witnessforchrist7778]

They also marry feminine women

[@MimiMaria-d3h]

​@@witnessforchrist7778My friend has a black belt in karate ,Her husband is like that

[@IWasFirst]

I wrote a paper once while in college about how men and women are treated in the world of cooking. Example could be how men’s cooking shows are “hardcore”, and shows geared towards women are “domestic,” creating an expectation that has lasted forever that women should cook because it is “expected of them” while men should do it for “pleasure and career.” It was an interesting paper to write about, and I even got asked to present it at a symposium.

[@aurwood68]

Is your paper online?

[@IWasFirst]

@@aurwood68 should be. I’d have to find it. It was posted for the university’s online magazine, but I’d have to see if I can find the year

[@KushQueen9]

Please share, I would love to read it.

[@RebeDrawsStuff]

I just realised that I've met two good men in my life who genuinely tried to make things easier for me yet I refused to date them because I had this terrible mindset that the love of a man only matters if he makes you suffer first. I no longer have that mindset. Sometimes I feel guilty for those mistakes from my past but now that I have a new perspective I won't let that happen again (or at least I will try my best).

[@maura_the_rose]

I’m so glad you’re healing. I hope you find what you’re looking for. ❤

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Oi! Sorry to hear that. All the best.

[@puffball4484]

A good way to anchor your mind to the divine masculine when you get dejected by the incels online is to have a character from a book/movie in mind that evokes that energy. For me it's Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.

[@noyemisarkisian7842]

Great advice!

[@copperredd]

He is peak...so is russel wilson

[@phoenixxsoul]

Lotr is so full of energentic, inspirational, healthy masculinity in all different shapes and forms! 💞

[@laizdiniz6456]

some of my favourites: Samwise from LOTR, Jamie Fraser from Outlander, Din Djarin, Gomez Addams, the father from A quiet place, Pacha from Emperor's new groove, uncle Iroh from Avatar, Forrest Gump, Daredevil & Foggy Nelson, Steven Universe, Jason and Chidi from The Good Place, Phil from Modern Family.

[@biancasinclair.]

​@laizdiniz6456 OK but how can you leave out Kronk 😭

[@janellentim]

The good man don’t live on the Internet. The good men are out there, living their lives, being productive and secure with themselves. They are mature they are thoughtful. They are naturally providers.❤

[@WomenAreRottingHoles]

@@duckyh9712 100%, all this talk of "real men" is just more trash to try and make betabux deluxes so they can steal more money they act as if no man as seen how whinemen use men day in and out with the rhetoric of "if you are a real man"

[@M.Swigglez]

If u think working only is taking care of kids. You have a long way to come.

[@zivileduleviciute-xe3gb]

I was not dating a man, but I was friends with a man that stressed me out. I ended up having premenstrual dysphoria syndrome so bad that I’d want to not be alive a week before my period due to how depressed I was feeling. Even considered going on medication. That man is no longer in my life and as soon as I dropped him my symptoms disappeared

[@oanaion4899]

Woooow!!!!

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Energy vampires, the lot of 'em!

[@zivileduleviciute-xe3gb]

@@FirstnameLastnames yup. he definitely was one haha he was complaining to me about how his ex broke up with him after 4 years and i remember thinking like what horrors did that poor girl have to endure

[@mynameisyamell187]

Oh, I’m so sorry…

[@zivileduleviciute-xe3gb]

@Metzcalli I’ve actually read so many women experiencing debilitating symptoms. I mean it makes sense, sometimes our brains cannot understand stress but our bodies are amazing at picking up on that stress and giving us psychosomatic symptoms

[@Ericasentertainments]

Agreed I met my husband back in 2003. I was 20 he was 22 I was full of masculine energy was even in the Army. Once I trusted him and allowed him to lead it was a huge relief! He is full of masculine energy, but very confident and calm everything I needed. This December we celebrate 20 years of blissful marriage. Oh and I’m a lot more feminine these days!

[@lvl11717]

Nah, I’m not interested in anyone leading me. That doesn’t make me masculine, it makes me human. I’ll still spoil someone who’s taking care of me, but follow them? No.

[@sophiam9886]

Why are so many women obsessed with being "lead by men"?🙄 You could still have all of the joy with that same man, and still be very well protected and taken care of WITHOUT HIM "LEADING YOU," as if you're a child or a pet. Keep in mind that, while he's taking care of you, you're also taking care of him, and it is inevitable that you have both taught eachother plenty of things during the decades you've been together. There is no need for a designated so-called leader in a healthy marriage or relationship. Just because men protect doesn't make them our leaders. Protection is a natural ability of theirs that they exhibit when they are comfortable in their own masculinity. It has nothing to do with leadership. Yes, there will inevitably be situations where he will lead and others where the woman will lead. But I think it holds women back from fully self-actualizing when we look to men as our default "leaders." I can attest to it being a wonderful feeling having a man that is capable and willing to take the lead when it is needed or wanted. Admittedly, this may actually be more often than not that it is WANTED because we do like and need to get our rest as ladies. But I would never remove the thought from my mind that I am my own ULTIMATE LEADER while being deeply grateful to have a man that is willing and has the capability to lead when needed (and wanted). This was a bit long-winded.😅 I hope what I wrote makes sense, though.💛

[@blossom1290]

@@sophiam9886 some women like their men to be strong and in the lead of making decisions for what's best for the both of them

[@blossom1290]

@@lvl11717 a man leading does not mean he as control on you or making all the decisions, you can lead yourself as well by his side, 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Detonatorrr]

​@@blossom1290The problem is associating lesdership with masculinity

[@godlikebae3015]

Your videos are so healing! My husband just asked for a divorce after 10 years. I did all the childcare, housework and organizing. Me asking for the bare minimum was to much. You will not support him trough his struggle, he will simply feel supported enough, for him to stop working on himself. Spare yourself, your emotional labour will not heal him.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Sounds like you have a bright future ahead w/o that old ball & chain dragging you down hun! ❤ I'm sorry he did that, but you deserve to enjoy your free days ahead.

[@godlikebae3015]

@@FirstnameLastnames thank you so much! ❤️ We all deserve someone who makes our life better, loving someone is unhealty if that man makes you do so much labour.

[@femdivinemind7777]

'spare yourself , your emotional labour will not heal him' a sermon in a sentence 💯💯💯👏🏾👏🏾

[@cecilyerker]

You still have your children. You will be better off without the dead weight.

[@l.s.d.5863]

If it makes you feel any better, your labor was not in vain. You're the one the kids are going to keep in touch with and take care of in old age. All that's changed is that you're free of a man-baby who was leeching off what you do as a mother. I'm happy for you to be rid of that clown. Enjoy your life, babe.

[@tiaramartin7010]

Omg 21:48 yasss totally agree! People think providing only means money when I say it I mean in an emotional safe space for me to let my guard down, share those deep thoughts and emotions! If you can give me that!! Sheesshhh you got me forever!!! I will be in femininity foooooooreeeevvverrrrr. 🎉💛

[@therealmanifestelle]

💅🏽💅🏽

[@lunatantri]

Mom always tells me and lil sis to never settle unless we find a decent guy like daddy. And saying that my dad is "decent" is the understatement of the century because my dad has a very good job and considered one of the best on his field in the city, makes a good salary, and is a very generous man. He spoiled my mom rotten (wow, I just realized what a special person my mom must be, because he really treats her like the ultimate prize) like he gives my mom flowers and chocolate almost weekly that we never run out of chocs (my mom could never finish the chocolate!) and surprise little gifts or fancy date nights are not uncommon. My mom rarely asks my dad a favor but when she does, daddy literally drops everything so he could come to the rescue (I used to see that as cringe but now I know that is sweet of him to want to be her hero). I never see my mom paid for anything (she has a good job too) and my dad never once disrespect her. If any, he adores her. He worships her. And he loves us, the kids. He gives us everything we need and everything we could ever wanted. I am a very spoiled girlie because my mom choose right, for her and for us. Now that's a good man, and I hope you and I are lucky enough to find guys like my daddy.

[@terra5857]

W

[@rileahangelaweston]

How do you find a man like that?

[@JuliaDarling84]

I'm genuinely happy for you and your family. What is it that motivates him to be/act this way?

[@musicallymanon]

bestie wake up elle posted

[@Throwaway-ug5uq]

Omg the friendless man thing is so true. I date a guy that had no friends and he was obsessive af. He would blow up my phone with texts and calls everyday even when I was in class and want to hang out with me 24/7. Cut him off after the first two weeks and kept it pushing.

[@l.s.d.5863]

@paperhana Seconded. I'm still friendless after a series of abusive relationships that took up most of my twenties. I'm in my thirties with a job where I work alone, my partner is an extreme introvert, I don't have a large family, and not least of all, I'm just afraid of people now. I don't even know how to start making friends anymore.

[@sosa.6k]

@@l.s.d.5863just put yourself out there brother

[@internationalrtg5602]

That was incredibly cruel of you

[@paolaaishi6529]

I was thinking these days that I wanted to see some examples of how men SHOULD BE, not just of how they should not.

[@blossom1290]

theres tons of good men out there sisters, dont ignore them please, those men are always not seen because of the bad men are always making themselves known,but good men they deserve the world, don't give up ladies they exist, good men aren't heard, don't let the bad men make all look bad❤️

[@Arginne]

I really wouldn’t say tons, let’s be real now. And most been done settled down

[@heyhey439]

@@AKR088 @Manifestelle found a dusty troll in the ladies room ew

[@blossom1290]

@@Arginne well not tons but some 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@blossom1290]

@@AKR088 there's a good boy among them but it's only 1%

[@blossom1290]

@@Bsskhwvsh every dude isn't a porn addict find one that's isn't or you can communicate with your partner on it

[@angeliquealamer]

Wow, even her voice SOUNDS peaceful as heck 😂👏BEAUTIFUL

[@NanaHoneyB]

“men asterisk”😭😭😭 effortlessly funny

[@therealmanifestelle]

😭😭 but also💅🏽

[@DlitMusic]

It was funny lol! 😂😊

[@vegito1880]

“You can’t grow with survival and softness at the same time”

[@dathea1]

In my life of 32 years I've met only ONE good masculine man, completely randomly and I instantly knew he was in his divine masculine. The feeling of being around him was incredible, and not even anything sexual just ease of existing.. It was awesome but also so sad, because there are obviously such small number of that kind of men...

[@AmericanDreamer]

So true, I second it as well..They are there, out there ..but yes - rare .more rare than we would like or need them to be

[@toscadonna]

The last one I knew died in 1987 - my paternal grandfather. He was a great man, but his two sons were spoilt and evil, and although I searched the world for a man like my grandfather, I have never found one.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

​@@toscadonna💔

[@l.s.d.5863]

@@toscadonna If he was so amazing, how did both his sons turn out spoiled and evil? I don't think it works like that. No disrespect to your love for your grandfather, he may well have been a very kind person, but that doesn't necessarily mean he was mature enough to be a parent.

[@elena3476]

​@@l.s.d.5863nurture alone is not enough, its also about nature, if his children didnt have any potential to be developed, perhaps they were born psychopaths, there was not enough effort the grandpa could put in to turn them into good ppl

[@AZ-su1zg]

Everyone should watch that video before getting married. “You never have to fight, you never to compete, we are one” if you don’t have that, don’t get married.

[@AZ-su1zg]

If my partner and I don’t see eye to eye, we make it the goal/task to understand each other’s point. Healthy and properly used therapy speak can be so useful. I can say “I’m irritable right now but in 20 minutes I think I’ll be more ready to engage/hang out/listen, etc.” things like that.

[@cherryhazard8002]

My boyfriend is like this, a masculine, yet caring man that always treats me right. We met online when we were teenagers, I was dealing with a lot of baggage at the time, and I told this to him. He understood and help me defeat my demons, I've never been so thankful before. I keep telling myself I don't deserve such a good man like this, and I get emotional. He is honestly the best and I wanna grow with him. I'll always be there for him. I knew he was the one when he held me accountable for my actions but at the same time he did it on a caring way. You wanna avoid the ones that take RP too seriously, and you want the ones that are masculine without being RP.

[@AriDakis]

I'm in a long relationship with one of these man and I noticed something: The best men are the ones who grew up with a strong mother and sisters. Boymoms are damaging and if a man is an only child he absolutely grew up spoiled and if he has brothers, then he's locked in a perpetual competition mindset that's just so tiring. men with sisters, who are told to take care of them, often grew up with basic human skills, not "woman skills". My partner LIKES to cook. He LIKES to clean. I also like it too but it's not like he's helping, if he lives in the same space as me he's not "helping", he's doing what he's supposed to do. Full stop.

[@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg]

How do you guys split the expenses....?

[@AriDakis]

@@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg split?

[@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg]

@@AriDakis yes

[@kateemma22]

My dad is a wonderful person who set the standard for men for me. He raised my brother to be the same way. NEITHER of them have a social media presence beyond my brother's very unused Facebook. Real men are out there... not on here.

[@jenayrandall9358]

Most of the issue is that so many of us women waste time with the wrong men because we ourselves are not healed and therefore cannot choose what is right for us.

[@kristenmoonrise]

So true, my fiancé is a divine masculine man! But I have to say, women, you have to be ready for that type of man and not treat him like all the toxic and fragile masculine men that are out there. Appreciate and acknowledge him!

[@awsambdaman]

That is true. Good men are gonna have expectations that you’re healthy too. They’re healed and don’t want toxicity

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@awsambdaman exactly!

[@LammyHowl]

Thank you for sharing, bestie. Good men are out there, and they are worth holding out for. 💞

[@blossom1290]

yes ma'am, i hope all the good women get the good men they deserves

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@JettPlane1]

I know this is irrelevant to the video, but I always hear u say u don’t know if the spoiled girlies are feminists or not, but as a feminist I love your content. Feminism is the movement for women’s freedoms and rights, I would say spoiled girlies are feminists😂❤

[@MegaGraceiscool]

It's the women's liberation movements, and these women are getting liberated 🥳

[@InternetNonsense]

Spoiled girlies look out for women's interest more than status quo so that's a fair assessment. You could agree or disagree with some points but overall it's a positive vibe. I know some don't even maliciously comply with patriarchal standards in attempt to normalize women's natural form, but it may get you less bag. I know some decenter men to the point of swearing off them completely and gave up on needle in the haystack search, not even bothering with any risk. It really depends on individual, there's many points to go about feminism as long as the end result lifts the collective, which being a spoiled girlie does for the most part. Elle herself seems conflicted on some points like the OF thing when it comes individual or collective benefit. I'd say overall it's a good thing for women. Being your own dream girl is one of the best life's goals.

[@therealmanifestelle]

Love this 🥹 there's so many layers 🥰

[@HatpinFeminism]

I recommend this channel as often as I can to women! ❤❤❤

[@FirstnameLastnames]

​@@therealmanifestellethat's why I'm here, I'm looking to learn from all types of people, mainly women, who support other women and you clearly do ❤

[@yourbigsisanais]

I've been telling my girl friends this, but they don't believe me! I'm 38, still single, but one thing I've noticed about the best men I've dated and have known, is that they're barely online! They might have social media accounts, but they barely post on them (except if they need to for work), and they're most definitely not spending time arguing online! The quality men don't do that because they're busy working, doing their hobbies, pursuing their goals, spending time with friends, and having a life! So yeah, I don't engage with loser men who are online all the time, and I definitely wouldn't date them.

[@geohatz4838]

Yes that makes sense...i never thought about it like that. Thank you for this comment ❤

[@yourbigsisanais]

@geohatz4838 No problem! Glad it was helpful!😊

[@gibgabs2899]

Period, the love of my life deleted his instagram. Only has Facebook for the fam

[@月亮-g5f]

I think it could also be true for women

[@CupcakeChan2611]

This is so true my ex was barely on social media barely posted always focusing on his goals, focausing on his hobbies and focusing on his life .

[@28gs28gs]

Anyone shaking their head and waving their hand in front of a camera for tiktok is going to struggle in life, a collective sickness

[@NanaHoneyB]

and all we have to do is heal so we can let ourselves be loved, and follow our purpose so they can find us😌🥰

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@FaithElle2]

My exhusband had no friends. It truly is a red flag. He was insufferable.

[@itsverycontroversial8050]

Beware the men who feign (pretend) emotional intelligence. It's a manipulation just like previous behaviours (to get what they want short term gain) and if they are finding out it's a 'vibe' for women to be on the conscious lookout for, then there must be some measurement that women can use to 'discern' their commitment and honest intentions to their partner. Please approach this 'new' behaviour from men who have access to this channel, with discernment.

[@gravityclarity]

Good men exist. They're just hard to find.

[@serenitysun]

Or they have girlfriends.

[@WomenAreRottingHoles]

no they are not hard to find they are all around most are called the average joe but you holes do not want the average joe till you had your fun sleeping around :)

[@qesther1241]

I dated a man who looked hood on paper but he was so feminine if there was a problem I would be the one stepping up to protect us both.😂

[@YSANROCHEOfficialYoutube]

I know these kinds of men - they always seem like perfect marriage material bc they’re so loyal and understanding, but in the long run, you’ll have to be the man in a relationship

[@Andyttcc]

Lmaoooo😅

[@PrettyIntrovert_9]

🤣🥴

[@l.s.d.5863]

@@YSANROCHEOfficialKZbin No, you'll have to be the LEADER in the relationship. Not the same thing as being "the man". And plenty of women prefer that. Myself included. If that's not for you, fine, great, you do you, but let's not trash submissive men or act like women aren't supposed to lead. I'm sorry, but quite frankly, you're being misogynistic.

[@l.s.d.5863]

Can we please stop calling passivity, submission, or cowardice "feminine" and leadership, bravery, or protectiveness "masculine¨? I know you ladies mean well, and I support you looking for whatever you personally like in a partner, but enforcing those ideas is wildly disrespectful to women. I am assertive. I am a leader. And I refuse to identify with men and manliness just to embrace and respect my own natural positive traits.

[@deezed6478]

There definitely are good men out there! However a lot of the ones that think they’re one of the good ones are indeed not lol

[@natty-fo2dl]

lol yea, my ex told me from the start he had a secure attachment. then proceeded to bottle up his feelings throughout the duration of our relationship, and would always tell me everything is okay when I asked if anything was bothering him. so much for being "secure". ZERO self-awareness

[@l.s.d.5863]

Two types of men are very rare. Men who are good. And men who know they're bad. : P

[@drishtiambastha3141]

You know he is eligible to be the one when he keeps himself at peace and makes an effort for u to let be😌

[@thecrimsoncreates]

Divine masculine men allow the woman’s nervous system to de-regulate. Aka he makes her feel safe and seen through his actions, words, honor, and efforts where trust is formed. So, in turn, she, is calm can give to him, herself, and others more fully. And in turn, he feels needed, accepted and seen so he gives more. And both sides nurture the other in a mutually trusting and great feeling dynamic.

[@b.p.5129]

The obsession and worship of this idealistic fantasy of romance is the issue concerning finding a “good” man. Why do we feel that we NEED a man to love us and validate us before we can feel happy, confident and fulfilled in life? A good man who loves you and cares for you should be appreciated and cherished, but you should feel within yourself that you are loved and cared for without need for his input. A man caring for you isn’t a rubber stamp of approval that makes you finally allowed to feel complete. It’s a nice addition that you can take or leave depending on what your aspirations for yourself are. It shouldn’t matter if he exists or not, but if you’re caring for yourself he’ll likely show up and want to love you.

[@LifeofAkos]

Exactly! It honestly feels like elevated Pickmeism. Pickmes get jabs on this channel but these hopes and wishes for good men dont feel any different than what pickmes do? Im confused 😕

[@catcat9582]

BIOLOGY

[@b.p.5129]

@@LifeofAkos and of course, by no means am I saying wanting and pursuing a relationship is a bad thing all. Especially if you’re interested in starting a family and all that, that’s valid. But I notice this level of agony surrounding when and how to meet this hypothetical man and it’s like…why doesn’t your life have worth and meaning independently of this idea? Why can’t you just be patient and uphold your standards and boundaries because you know you’ll be okay regardless?

[@chrystianaw8256]

Comments like these are annoying. This channel is centered around romantic relationships and most women who watch Elle WANT to be in romantic relationships. If you don't, that's fine but don't trash the women who do. You can watch over videos if you don't like this topic.

[@b.p.5129]

@@chrystianaw8256 If you could actually read and comprehend, you would see that nowhere in my comments (I did write two and elaborate on my thoughts before you started yapping) did I “trash” or discourage women from pursuing romantic relationships. What I actually expressed is that a change in attitude would make navigating relationships easier, because the attitude is what makes it harder than it needs to be. But you can’t read and I expected something dense like this in response. That’s a personal problem on your behalf, so you deal with that alone.

[@gmaxh4549]

Good guys should be more platformed online

[@srizangupta1957]

bad idea. Social media is toxic. They would become the same men you were running away from.

[@Lillith.]

In my experience there are 3 different types of men; Below bare minimum effort: they see you as a threat to everything they've built. Are usually just lazy people who you should try to avoid at all cost. The up jump; a guy who seeks validation from you. Puts himself down in comparison to you or just in general. Primarily needs to grow up. Not ready yet, but most get out when they're around 30. The normal guy; a guy who treats you like just another person. This is the group you want your partner from. Depending on the upbringing he had, goals, and interests he may or may not be a good fit for you. We have different cultures around the world, one isn't necessarily better than any other, but there are ones that will suit your wants and needs better and I want that for you.

[@Meghna_Sharma2]

I'm normal guy

[@Amanda.Cooper]

My last relationship left me so drained. Financially, physically, mentally, emotionally...slowly trying to get everything back together. I literally lost so much being with him from possesions, to pets and soon my gallbladder lol.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Nervous system attacker that one. Sorry to hear about this.

[@Amanda.Cooper]

I should add: he wasn't by any means abusive. He was just very lazy and un-ambitious. Everything landed on me from working multiple jobs and household chores, plus trying to be in school. You can tell what suffered because after I left him I was able to finish my associates and currently at my dream school. Still a lot I have to work through. I was with him for about a decade. Being silly and thinking he would grow up or change.

[@YSANROCHEOfficialYoutube]

Omg sending you a big long hug and much loving energy. Hope you will be well soon

[@KushQueen9]

You will get there slowly. Take it easy. A great woman to listen to whilst you heal is louise hay. She helped me through my healing journey. I wish you well.

[@Detonatorrr]

I disagree, there are not plenty of them. It's a miniscule minority, and when also physically attractive they're in extremely high demand. Not to mention that many of them aren't even romantically interested in women...

[@VideosForYou90]

Unfortunately have to agree :(

[@stephyworld8713]

No they are plenty of them. It's our job as women to distinguish them from the riff raff and unfortunately women fall for the games, empty promises, toxicity, giving multiple chances to undeserving men 😩 Let refocus our attention to the good mens and we will spot them around us again.

[@Mira-gu6we]

Correct. Elle is young. A lot of 'good' men start changing during pegnancy.

[@toxihex876]

She said plenty, not most. You're right that they're high demand but they're not inaccessible. As far as them not being interested in women, you'd be surprised how many who seem like they're not actually end up liking exactly you (happened to me several times). They may not be wherever you look but what I've noticed is that they attract one another and once you meet one, even if they're taken, it's a "friend of a friend" until you get to the right one.

[@eyesthrurosecoloredglasses]

Oof. Truer words have never been said.

[@CineEquality]

That second video was everything 💕 There is so much negative content online about bad men! This was a nice palette cleanser :)

[@therealmanifestelle]

💅🏽

[@monicamuino5903]

he's asking what you bring to the table cause can't bring shit. period.

[@xletragedyx]

Women don't have to bring anything to the table. Men chase us. They're desperate for us. Prove you're a good man, and I'll consider sitting at your table. Honestly, I'm married now but in all my years of dating, I was NEVER asked that. Ridiculous imo

[@FoxyBoxery]

@@xletragedyx “Men are desperate for us” I think you believe yourself a bit too much, love

[@tiredoftheworld4834]

@@FoxyBoxerytbh I’ve always seen guys have more anxiety over not having a girlfriend to take to a dance when I’ve never seen girls verbally express that time and time again

[@srizangupta1957]

@@tiredoftheworld4834 yeah but if the relationship isn't equal from the beginning, you might face the concequences if he leaves. Traditional women have the worst time dating at older age.

[@TaCC2]

@xletragedyx if women like you would just realize that the fact you’re not bringing anything to the table is the exact reason that you’re attracting men that also dont bring anything to the table.

[@Kapreeluxe]

They can keep their mics 😂

[@divorceguru]

Can I just say with the video game analogy, at the moment it feels more like men don't even want to do X to get Y; they won't accept that they need to level up in order to access women. Instead, it feels more like they want women to help them do X (aka they want a woman to "build with them" which is really building FOR them) and get so mad when women have no interest in them... and that's why they call us all gold diggers when they have no gold. Like, they're not even good at the video game of life.

[@b.p.5129]

⁠​⁠@@duckyh9712You’re speaking on behalf of your alleged crypto billionaire friend, but not for yourself…why should a woman invest in a man if he’s not even investing in himself first? If your mother didn’t set you up for success in adulthood, it’s not any other woman’s job to pick up the slack, it’s YOURS. That’s what being an adult means. Life isn’t a fairytale where being at the bottom with somebody is a good investment, it’s a gamble that often has a good chance of failure for a reason: that person doesn’t have the character, strength or maturity to build a foundation without somebody holding their hand. NOT commitment material, sorry. And for the record, you don’t have to deal with women who have nothing going for themselves either and you really shouldn’t. But there’s a hypocrisy in expecting a woman who has something to invest in YOU who has nothing.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

OP please ignore the bitter XY below, and keep doing you babe!

[@cecilyerker]

@@duckyh9712he will leave her eventually

[@divorceguru]

@@FirstnameLastnames Lol, I always ignore them! They are invisible to me, as they are to most women really. And that is the best way to operate because in reality this is what they fear the most - being invisible to women. So it's like what bitter who? I didn't even notice. I'm too busy living my life

[@cecilyerker]

@@duckyh9712let me repeat: he will leave her eventually. You seem very intent on defending him.

[@jellyrolly]

I don't know if plenty is the right word. The good men do exist, but they're not abundant. Most marriages end up in a divorce, so...I'd say the 'good' men are a minority.

[@toxihex876]

Good people are a minority. It's just that there tend to be more good women. It is what it is. There's a reason women are more capable of thriving by themselves, especially nowadays that the artificial dependence on men is waning.

[@VandalVortex]

@@toxihex876 It's sort of funny because technically there are more good women than good men. But, that also means there a more bad women than bad men because the population of women is higher. Gay divorces and lesbian divorces are statistically worlds apart favouring men. Similarly single father homes are better for kids than single mother homes. I don't think you understand that 99% of societal infrastructure is built by men. If the majority of men in society disappear. War and enslavement aren't too far behind. The early signs of this are women being attacked by hyper aggressive men and no men coming to help.

[@toxihex876]

@@VandalVortex Funny you mention single parents since reason single mothers are worse off than single fathers is that single moms tend to come across abusive boyfriends. Pretty easy to look up. There's a reason people say behind every great man stands a great woman. The fact women like Tesla's mother still managed to maintain their mental gifts despite oppression is the reason any man ever built anything. Wouldn't it be funny if when equality starts to pick up steam women start outclassing men in every intellectual field? Oh wait, that's already on the rise.

[@alex-lu8mi]

​@@toxihex876😂

[@YSANROCHEOfficialYoutube]

No it hasn’t always been like that. I remember that it completely changed around 2017 and I was shocked how little respect women receive today. I blame it on Tinder, the rise of porn and MGTOW- then the idea of pick-up artists that teaches men to treat women poorly and the idea that women should chase them. I actually avoid dating now

[@HeIsEternal-]

Men going their own way was supposed to give you women peace..now you blame us leaving you be? What type of backwards thinking is that 😂

[@cecilyerker]

@@HeIsEternal-mgtow is not a monolith and instead of being happily single men, like the original intent, most mgtow actually spend all their time online complaining about women for divorcing them

[@l.s.d.5863]

@@cecilyerker Don't give this person your attention. Your attention is valuable. He's here because he wants it. Spend it on better people.

[@l.s.d.5863]

I think maybe your personal experience completely changed around 2017, because a whole lot of women have been living in a hellscape of shitty men for a lot longer than that. Like..... thousands of years longer than that. lol

[@northstar2621]

I remember when MGTOW was about the "better alone than with a bad partner" for a red minute in, like, 2014, and the message was that you don't have to take bad treatment in a relationship and stay just because you're "supposed" to be this or do that in your life, sometimes due to your gender. That you can be happy alone and being single isn't a shame or a bad thing. Then it became an outlet for men to take out all their frustrations in life on women - the female gender -and to feel better about themselves in the process. Essentially, many of the men flipped their inferiority complex around in their intent to get rid of the guilt and lack of confidence and faith in themselves and became brash, mean and malicious, and now they suffer from a superiority complex. Except they don't suffer, they are loving it. I was on board at first in a time when I myself had come to the same conclusion - that the society sells us relationships as an end all be all solution, which it's not. I could relate to the epiphany that I indeed do not have to be married or have a partner in this life if I don't want to. (I do, but that was the great awakening for me at the time.) Then at some point I noticed that I, along with all the other women who had supported the movement, had become the enemy number 1 for the simple fact that we were born women. Men went from suffering from outward expectations to feeling like they needed to get revenge on women for what THEY themselves once felt they owed their (female) partners. Like they are ashamed that they once wanted to be good to their partners at the expense of their own wellbeing, and now they are punishing the whole female world for the way they feel about that.

[@Keiks16]

Now that I am with a masculine energy man my life has become a dream. Everything is easy 🙌 whatever it is, he's got it and I don't have to worry

[@alexavasquez1992]

In Greek mythology, hope was Zeus's cruelest punishment on humanity. There aren't enough good men to go around - they may as well not exist for the majority of women - so you need to decenter them altogether and learn to be happy without them anyway. They exist in the way that other rare and precious materials do and even then, they often are only as morally upright and make as good a romantic partner as the average woman (this is part of the reason women are so coveted in the dating market - a woman at the bare minimum brings an increase in status to a man, and often the minimum is also includes a bangmaid). Getting with a man already starts with risks of harm just when you consider the baseline: higher testosterone means higher aggression and lower ability to control anger, combined with a stronger and larger body, and a higher tendency to take risks like bringing you an STD. If women by and large were in their true feminine, we'd already be far and away more cautious and less likely to want to date than we are.

[@chrystianaw8256]

Hope was not the cruelest punishment. Be fr!

[@caipirinhag]

This is one of most sane and realistic comments here 💯💯

[@tassys]

I agree. It's another version of "not all men".

[@lillybilly9954]

Love to cook. When it’s not appreciated, I can’t think of anything I hate more.

[@aidahakimi1141]

I’ve had two relationships with two vastly different men and let me tell you, the feminine energy I radiated in those two relationships was vastly different as a consequence. The first man had a golden retriever energy. He was hard working, ambitious and honest. I loved spoiling him! I’d cook, bake and clean the house because I knew he’d reciprocate the effort. If I’d cook he’d clean the dishes and so on - we were a team basically. And after he had been away on a business trip he would usually bring a gift of some kind, making the distance that had been easier. Sadly I feel out of love with him because he couldn’t match me intellectually but God, I did love and still love that man but not romantically. He has all my respect and I wish him all the best in the world. The second guy turned out to be a man child gamer even if he didn’t come off that way in the beginning, I only discovered this once we had move in together. And I all of a sudden hated doing house choirs. I didn’t look forward to making dinner because I knew he’d take it for granted and then he’d go to his little corner and continue playing video games, not even making an offer to do the dishes. Good men are out there indeed, I had one myself at some point. Remember this ladies ❤

[@afrofaeries]

I think relationships can be more simple and easier if no children are involved

[@geohatz4838]

I agree

[@kaileymo]

This objectively true.

[@christahewitt2758]

I have kids and even I agree 😂

[@cecilyerker]

Humanity’s biological imperative is to reproduce, relationships only exist to further human survival

[@afrofaeries]

@noazucar519 Let me ask you this: What makes you think we HAVE to care what others think of our choices? Will we be fined or jailed for not having kids? Will a magical entity mysteriously put a baby in me if I refuse to have one? Will I lose my house and my lights and my water if I say I don’t want kids? No. Why? Because it’s YOUR choice. Kids deserve parents but not all adults are meant to be parents. If you have unhealed trauma you don’t deserve to be a parent. I have autism and it is highly hereditary in my case and I’m not raising a kid with autism like me. Nah.

[@salomechirwa3110]

thank you. these are the conversations we need to be encouraging and having

[@caitlinmiles5095]

I like some of the points, but it’s also important to remember that this sort of belief of having “divine masculinity” and “divine femininity” can easily be repackaged to further things like trad wife values. Remember that there a some men who like the idea of hard working women giving up their careers and goals so that they become housewife’s and serve them. It wouldn’t be hard to gaslight someone into thinking that they are just embracing their “divine femininity”, especially if they do come from very patriarchal backgrounds. Pretty words that sound progressive and alternative, but ultimately you end up in the same place. I love the idea of women no longer being the ones that have to do emotional labour and don’t have man children as husbands, but please stay safe out there as well. If you as a woman want to be a leader and provider in a relationship, be that. There will be men out there that want to follow and bring their own elements to the relationship. At the end of the day what’s important is that you are equals in the relationship and grow together, however that looks like for you.

[@LexaLite]

That Most men are NPCs comment made me think of some Megan the Stallion lyrics calling out how some people hate her because she wouldn't let them use her femininity for clout, or "lil sis" her. That male intersexual competition is a thing.

[@carolinehoak]

This is what iove about my man. He doesn't enjoy certain types of men who give off weird energyies with bad traits, hes always soft spoken, he always shows me and tells me how much he loves me, always encouraging me and believing in me even when I doubt myself.

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

After I got married my health RAPIDLY declined due to such high stress and I’m still recovering after years of working hard to repair the damage. I didn’t realize women were supposed to feel supported and safe, I thought anyone who felt that way just hit the lottery basically. We as women have the power to choose the life and the partner we want, and when you’re being supported and feel safe your body can not only function, but thrive.

[@wd1793]

Cooking is a basic survival skill. Anyone shall learn at least the basics. I really don't want to date a guy if he cannot even cook a meal. I want a man who can take care of himself otherwise I just want to be alone.

[@bive4167]

Same with earning money. But we expect men to be providers even though we're capable of doing it ourselves. When you find the man who loves and who you love, who treats you like a queen, you gotta know that he's going to have expectations from you too. Just like you'd leave him if he doesn't meet your expectations, he will leave you if you don't meet his.

[@miguelpereira9859]

​@@bive4167No woman should be treated "like a queen" that sounds awful

[@bive4167]

@@miguelpereira9859 then no man should be treated like a king either. If that's your relationship dynamics, you'll find someone who agrees with that. But when people say Queen and king in reference to relationships, they mean being treated extremely well with respect and affection and care.

[@miguelpereira9859]

@@bive4167 Fair enough, but in that case I'd advise to just say that rather than coming up with these catchprases because they muddle the waters and cause a lot to be lost in translation

[@bive4167]

@@miguelpereira9859 that's how it is generally meant. So there remains little ground for mistranslation. Of course no one with sense would think that women want to treated like literally Elizabeth.

[@sararatliff7707]

When the woman started talking about finally being able to relax when she got with her husband, I cried. It struck me then that I have never had that with my boyfriend. I've had five relationships, only one was really a jackass, and the others were sweet guys, but I never felt the sense of ease that this woman displays. It has always been what I wanted: to trust a man fully with my heart and he takes gentle care of it. Sadly, I know I'll never get that. I'm too much of the wrong kind of person. I always give way too much. I don't know how to communicate. I don't know how to ask for what I need. I've been used and let down and neglected too many times. Good men don't want a woman who's broken.

[@sophiam9886]

A good man will aid in your healing.💛🙏 The internet, fake gurus just love to tell women that we will never be able to attract a good man because we are supposedly so "damaged." Then, they proceed to try to SELL us all of their armchair psychology about how to heal. It's bullsh*t. Good men relish in helping, serving, teaching, and nurturing THE WOMAN THEY WANT. Period! When you hear stories of women who are happily in love, they almost ALWAYS have a story about their TRANSITION meaning that they did not come into their relationship with that "divinely masculine man" as a woman who had it altogether or who was even feminine in the first place. Their man NURTURED them into the emotional and mental state of being that they are currently in. You do not have to be emotionally perfect in order to attract a divinely masculine man. Yes, we should always be open to learning and growing, but we definitely shouldn't be beating ourselves up for being where we currently are.

[@TrueImmortality]

Hey, don't give up on yourself! Maybe you should be single for a while, taking time to work on yourself. Being alone can make you realize a lot of things.

[@cecilyerker]

If you don’t want to be broken, you have to enlist the help of people who can teach you the skills and strategies you lack. You need therapy and counseling before you get into another relationship.

[@l.s.d.5863]

How do you know what good men want if you've never had one? All women are damaged. That's an inevitably of growing up in a world that seeks to damage us from the day we're born. And yet the good men still date and marry. Because damage does not make a person bad. It's just something to work on.

[@bookbutterfly2408]

These are all skills you can learn over time! Take it easy. Start by learning to take of yourself. & the other commenters are right -- a good man will absolutely help you grow.

[@ppoppoiop6336]

YES. Met my man at 17, married him at 22. Dream man. I'm convinced he was made in a lab for me. He has 0 social media. Thank god I met him in college.

[@heathermartinez2954]

Potentially unpopular opinion. Healed divine masculine energy is going to look for healed feminine energy. Like attracts like. If you feel like you're surrounded or attracting the same type of dudes... you may to physically change where you move.

[@Raven629]

Good point

[@hafsaz_]

This is not an unpopular opinion lol

[@caipirinhag]

✨️You know, my father was a great father and apparently a great husband, too. Provider, protector, respectful, caring, generous, always attentive. Then one day, after +20 years of marriage, he confessed he had a 2-month long affair with a much younger woman, when I was five. He hid it from my mom for 11 years. +2 decades of marriage, completely ruined.

[@user-qu5js9vw9o]

It’s crazy how my boyfriend agrees with all of this but doesn’t act this way at all help me

[@toxihex876]

Me and my ex would spend hours bashing below minimum effort men who can't deal with life without a mommy housemaid when we dated online just for me to find out he is even worse irl but can cook a chicken. It's pure narcissism. They want to feel better than others but when their downfalls are apparent they just make excuses and want pity. I'm sorry but if it doesn't compute for your boyfriend that he can't translate what he believes to what he does, he will only ruin your life if you were to have one together.

[@afrofaeries]

Leave him hope this helps :-)

[@hafsaz_]

drop him, no self-awareness no relationship

[@ladybug3380]

Why are you with a man who doesn’t want the best for you. We as women have to do better when it comes to choosing who to be with.

[@asongfromunderthefloorboards]

The "I am better than those guys" mindset is passive and weak. Men often understand that when it comes to working out. Just saying that there's people more out of shape than you is not useful. You have to be constantly trying to better yourself. People need to be only half comfortable with where they are in life. You have to be able to relax. If you work out, you have to have days off because your muscles have to repair themselves. You have to get good sleep. You have to be able to be proud of what you have accomplished and rest but you also have to keep striving to get better. Any emotionally-healthy person into fitness compares themselves today against themselves last week. They aren't comparing themselves as superior to others. There has to be a striving to improve in masculinity. Men who are not striving to improve themselves are not masculine.

[@itshazzybee]

More of these videos! It gives us hope and something to look forward to yk.... everyone knows toxic masculinity and now we're tired of it. This is wonderful. Keep going Elle!

[@Lily-Laura-Jane]

Cooking together with my man really helped us bond together and early on showed us where we were compatible and where we weren't, where I was overly controlling and fast to anger, where he was much slower and more meticulous than I would be, and angered by mess. It made us a team, we learnt what I was good at making and that he was good at making. I cook about 70% of the food, but he cooks all things with a Mexican, or Indian, or Thai pallet, i do English, Italian, Japanese, and sweet things. We're engaged and 6 year into our relationship

[@ZalemMoon]

I love that 💖

[@ChatMort69420]

I have never felt particularly feminine. My hobbies aren’t particularly feminine, and when I’ve struck up friendships online and they don’t know what I look like, people tend to assume I’m male. But for the first time in my life I’m in a relationship with an actual man. He has an incredible work ethic and he’s always finding new projects to do around the house to improve it. It was so bizarre to realize that I was becoming a person who was excited to tidy up around the house and to cook dinner for him. I never understood that there was femininity in me, and it would come out on its own once I was with someone who treated me like a woman as opposed to somebody who wanted me to be his mom.

[@heyhey439]

It's refreshing to hear good men say their piece! Positive male content is so potent I swear... I only need to see one good clip among the miles of toxicity every once in a while and I believe again. I should be set for another year

[@saranghae2808]

It's not just online. It's real life. There are good men in their divine masculine but they are extremely rare. And many women have not experienced healthy masculinity. We need to acknowledge this otherwise it becomes a conversation of how do women attract these good men when they are very rare. This brings striving and more shame, further burdening us. There is a supply chain issue. Meeting a good man thus boils down to luck at this point. I acknowledged to myself recently that I have never seen healthy love or healthy masculinity. Not in my family, extended family (I have a large one - grandparents on both sides had many children so I have 14 aunts and uncles who all have children), not among my friends, not in my community and not at church. Thank God for social media because it reminds me that I am not cursed, I am not crazy. But due to several factors beyond one's control and I'm a black woman, this is what dating looks like for me. So I have had to lay down dreams of having the traditional family unit and I have started to look into having children on my own w/o a partner which is an extremely difficult choice to make in my community.

[@Aspirina500mg]

Women should start communities of women to raise children together

[@AyAReI00]

Thank You, this is just another narrative blaming women, we don't know how to choose, we are at fault, we don't put effprt in finding the good men... Like come on ...most men are bare minomum 😂

[@TCKRDefense]

Healthy masculinity is a rejection of traditional masculinity's harmful aspects, such as aggression, dominance, and emotional suppression. It's a way of being that's nurturing, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent. Some men embody healthy masculinity through extremes, such as being a hero or an athlete. Others embody it through the ordinary rhythms of life, such as establishing a trade, obtaining a household, and building a family.

[@Cunningstunts23]

I’d just like to point out that some men and women don’t have many friends or any because of neurological reasons. Some of us are not good at fostering communication. I am highly intelligent. Eagle Scout, varsity track and basketball captain, and airline captain. High achieving and intelligent, but I find the majority of conversations with everyday individuals boring and exhausting. Does that make me a red flag like you say? I don’t think so. I am a kind person but just incredibly introverted. So I think it is not as well defined as you make it out to be.

[@Mira-gu6we]

Divine masculine men are less in number. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. Why waste time looking for a unicorn man to fulfill a romantic fantasy most people dont find in a lifetime?? Just focus on your own goals, build a nest. If the universe wills it, the unicorn may find you.

[@RuchaNimbalkar]

I agree. This is safe and I feel better chasing my self than chasing something I will never be sure of.

[@5HTrades]

I appreciate the examples of healthy masculinity you bring to the channel

[@AncestralGratitude85]

2nd date: "Cook for me" Me: "Build me a house"

[@agrajyadav2951]

Equality, eh?

[@savelala]

If there is a type of man I would never have a relationship with, it would be a man who doesn't work or who I would have to support financially. I mean, it's a big no.

[@julesb2415]

Valid

[@ZalemMoon]

I totally get that, I personally would have no problem with it though as long as he does his fair share of the work at home, but that seems hard to find lol, not impossible, just hard.

[@rensii-e8b]

Same!!!!

[@HigkeyRegarded007]

Yeah don’t. I was working full time and then got let go and my wife supports me. Obviously I do everything around the house gratefully. But always better when both are working.Had to undo a lot of gender normative standards I had set in my head. Starting a new job in two months so hopefully this inadequacy will pass 😅.

[@savelala]

@@HigkeyRegarded007 yeah, i understand you. Sometimes we have bad time and we lost our job, but for me is like: i don't care my boyfriend lost his job and is search for a new one. But i don't will suport he financially. He can get suport of his family or have some money reguard. For me is a BIG no give him my money. Patriarchal or stereotypical, perhaps. But it is very emasculation for a man to be supported by a woman. Another thing is, doing things at home is an obligation, not a help. But i respect the women that do that, is only my thing not do.

[@CarolineTKindt]

Just be VERY CAREFUL not to fall into tricks again, my sisters. Once men realise we are waking up, they will try to find new cheap ways to trick us instead of really changing, growing and evolving. The video example played at 0:23 and again at 27:45 looks like a genuine example of how a good man should actually behave. However the video example at 21:15 showing those dudes praising themselves for doing the bare minimum and that girl reacting as if it was impressive, looks like the perfect way to be tricked into receiving fake emotional support and NOTHING ELSE. Besties, wake up. *Apart from that, I love your videos! You represent the new generation of feminism to me. You may not realise but what you are doing here is extremely important, and I don't know any other youtuber who does it the same empirically-supported way you do! Please write a book, I will buy it!

[@nathaliecarluccio7559]

Yes the audacity of some man is just incredible 😢 On my second date with a potential partner, he invited me over and when we arrived he told me that some friends would come and help him take his old couch to bring the new one in so as a good polite person i helped out and guess what... I did the effing cleaning of his living room and then cleaned his effing kitchen because he needed the pan to cook the steak for the evening 😡😡 Just thinking about it makes me soooo effing mad 💢😡💢 And then this p.o.s. snored the whole damn night 😭😭😭 I never contacted him again 😬

[@kallista5194]

I love this video. My divine man definitely makes life easier and far more fun and enjoyable. Good relationships are worth waiting for, searching for, and striving for. The benefits are exponential. ❤

[@TextsAndNihilism]

"There are plenty of good men and here's proof" I'm sorry but I missed it, where's the proof? Like I'm genuinely lost. We know men lie so their words mean nothing, and many women trust their husbands just to find out they weren't good/faithful/true all along, they can pretend to be something they're not for years and years

[@AmericanDreamer]

💯😬

[@toscadonna]

If we change the meaning of “plenty” to “2%,” then the statement that there are “plenty of good men” becomes true.😂

[@tallyshay217]

I think you're correct about men being shady and will lie if they want. I also think if a man shows proof that he is telling the truth, that is a good man. Now this isn't going to be right 100% of the time but if he tells the truth and follows up on it 10/10 times, and isn't emotionally manipulative he's likely a good man. If not.... then run.

[@julesb2415]

This was my first thought 😂 you can think you have the best most handsome good man in a perfect marriage in a perfect home and he will still cheat.

[@thelostpony6678]

Literally all this video was about is some useless information about homemade cooking and some screenshots of very basic conversations. *Where* exactly can we actually find these "many good men", no one will say 🙄