50/50 men are in survival mode [generational wealth, free bird theory]

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In this episode, Elle discusses the concept of 50/50 relationships and explains why she believes such men are in survival mode. She emphasizes the need for women to prioritize their own needs and not to justify or defend their positions to 50/50 men. Elle points out that being in a relationship with a man is labor and risk, and that the 50/50 concept often only applies to finances, while women still end up doing the majority of physical and emotional labor. Elle suggests that women who live with their parents rent-free and debt-free are being set up for success by their parents, a privilege that 50/50 men may potentially undermine. She concludes by advising women to leave 50/50 men alone, as they are in survival mode and are not likely to provide the support and financial stability.

[@arsenic9584]

"If you want to be my girl, you have to leave your comfy life and struggle with me." big yuck

[@MassielPG]

No thanks lol

[@baddcheeta.]

Struggle by yourself boy! Miss me with that mess lol

[@FASBLAQUE]

@@baddcheeta. 😅🤣

[@moyaa.a]

Never leave anything for any man

[@Aronia222]

Like who are you? 🤣 Superman?

[@meganbrooks7370]

"If a man wants you to explain that to him, tell him to ask his father, if he can find him" RUTHLESS 😂

[@cbreeze123]

My 3 year old daughter just ran into the kitchen to check on me, girl I HOLLERED

[@zoelawrence568]

Omg I know I died

[@masterofnothing2360]

Subscribed for this alone 😂

[@vlo123veronica]

I almost screamed when she said that lmao savage

[@rensii-e8b]

🔪🔪🔪😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@stxrryd]

Men who think 50/50 is about only paying bills are wrong. Living with someone on 50/50 is about 50/50 on bills, 50/50 on housework, 50/50 with kids, and 50/50 on life tasks.

[@laouen]

and the real 50/50 is when the woman and the man each pay a share proportionate to their salary. This means that if the man earns more, he contributes more to ensure fairness in the arrangement

[@MissKashira]

How is he gonna birth half the kids? The truth is, it's not physically possible to be 50/50 in every area of a relationship and if you're trying to be 50/50 then you're both doing accounting and that opens the door to bitterness as there will always be someone doing more in some area. Ideally a relationship is the two of you are a unit, working together to build the life you both envision for yourselves. And the truth of the matter is most women don't dream of being strained and pained trying to maintain a standard of living HE set (cause I never hear men claim I want you to have 50% of the power in a relationship) while her body is wrecked by child birth. I've never met a woman where that was her dream.

[@MissKashira]

@@laouen Even that can cause issues if they have a huge gap in earnings. If he makes 120k a year and she's making 40k a year and they divide the bills 75/25. He'll have a lot of extra money for the things he enjoys and she'll be drowning.

[@stxrryd]

@@MissKashira I don't know where you got 50/50 childbirth from. There are so many fathers that think as long as they are paying 50/50 on bills, they've basically hired a maid and a nanny.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Yes but they *conveniently forget* about going 50/50 on the things that don't benefit them.

[@ShalomDove]

“Hey, I won’t marry you, but would you move in and give me your labor and resources like a wife would?” This man is literally asking for wife treatment for free.

[@NanaHoneyB]

He's asking for wife AND HUSBAND treatment, 'cause since when should wives financially provide for their man?? lmao

[@ShalomDove]

@@NanaHoneyB oh wow… you’re right 🤦‍♀️ so if she’s giving wife and husband treatment… what is he giving again?

[@Libby-MD]

🎯🎯

[@EyesOpenLegsClosed]

It is like going to the car dealership "Hey I can't afford a porche, but let me take it for a 3 year testdrive, good idea huh?!?!"

[@ShalomDove]

@@EyesOpenLegsClosed 😂😂😂 exactly! Dealer looking at you like “what’s in it for me bro?”

[@FaithElle2]

Why don't those men just get male roommates.🙃

[@meganbrooks7370]

I think male roommates won't clean, cook and do emotional labor for them

[@FaithElle2]

@@meganbrooks7370 agreed

[@FaithElle2]

@@t-bonetyrone a dusty has entered the chat

[@gem9535]

Because then they wouldn't be able to push off all the work they said they'd do XD

[@FaithElle2]

@@bestdjaf7499 another dusty alert

[@SweetCandy-x4j]

If married women are indentured servants, girlfriends are unpaid interns.

[@Souleater7777]

But a relationship isn’t a job, if that how you think of it you’re going to be very miserable.

[@XxxX-wx3er]

@@Souleater7777you missed the point and the context of her comment.

[@MassielPG]

💯

[@MassielPG]

​@Halo6166 you are a male, right? Your comment risks of it. 😂 a relationship with you males is a very draining job. Have a good day!

[@MassielPG]

​@@Souleater7777women find misery once they are in a relationship with a male. Alone women experience peace. We are not the same boy.

[@DeBellanadi]

These are the type of men who will go 50/50 and have the audacity to CHEAT

[@cecilyerker]

50 50 men always cheat because if you were the woman he really wanted he would invest all his money into you. Don’t let such a man into your life.

[@Ara-ni5xc]

So true!!

[@thinkinginn7443]

Yup. Was 50/50 with a guy that then began quitting jobs left and right leaving me paying the bills. He also cheated and used his funds to spoil other women and his friends while nickel and diming me. Finally kicked him out because since I paid all the bills, I was the only one allowed in the lease renewal. That was years ago and that man is still couch hopping and hollering to anyone who’d listen.

[@JennyferPepin]

Nah he wants you to move in, pay half the bills, do 100% of the chores, cook and be a maid while he plays his little video games.

[@erosorisha]

And cheats.

[@mommalion7028]

The video games though 😂 I like video games but men make me kind of wish they weren’t invented

[@Lala89856]

The story of my life years ago. I was paying most of the bills while my ex was at my home playing video games. He played 8 hrs straight to 22 hrs straight on weekends. It was exhausting. He was older than me.

[@Babs33]

And provide at-home 🐱

[@JennyferPepin]

@@mommalion7028 I have nothing against video games, I like them myself, but those men who prioritize gaming and procrastinating on what needs to be done is truly a turn off for me.

[@layla_and_micahfollowonins2174]

“I don’t want your money, I want to make your money our money”

[@FirstnameLastnames]

🤡 he told on himself

[@cznnshr.]

he thinks he did something, he just revealed that he needs her money to pay the bills 😂

[@adoramae5436]

ALSO I am going to need a venn diagram of men who go online to scream about single-by-choice and child-free by choice women; screaming, crying, punching the air with some "WOMEN NEED MEN, MEN BUILT EVERYTHING, WOMEN ARE UNFULFILLED WITHOUT A MAN" and men who expect 50/50 in a relationship. Because I have a feeling it's going to be damn near a circle.

[@hannahshark8080]

💯

[@deejames1st]

Of course it will be the SAME men. Only it likely won’t even be 50/50. Because the men hardly ever REALLY pay half. Usually the woman ends up paying more as she’s the one who is usually running the errands and picking up the household odds and ends.

[@lvl11717]

Exactly. I’ve been single/not looking for almost two years, and in that time everything in my life has gotten better… which is the exact opposite of what I thought would happen. I was terrified of being single, little did I know it’d be the key to making my dreams come true 🥴🤷‍♀️

[@wmarch88]

That's true, I'm single by choice and childfree by choice and a lot of men feel entitle of tell me that I'm wrong and I would end lonenly and sad, I choose what I want for my life and living with another man who is not going to do 50-50 of the chores (on my family I don't meet a husband who do chores more than taking his clothes and let it on the dirty cloths basket or barely wash dishes once a week), I don't want a child why I'm going to live with someone who is like a child, "do you remember to wash dishes?, do you put the garbage otuside for the recolection? Do you remember your medical appointment?" that's exhausting, I want freedom not having an adult child who doesn't remember his own appointments.

[@ShayW16728]

@@deejames1stit’s never going to be 50/50 because they won’t clean or do anything needing to be done to make life go round.

[@mindbodysoleil]

Girlfriend and roommate are two different words for a reason.

[@natashadickson4819]

True! "Girlfriend" and "wife" are also different words for a reason.

[@purpleflows5680]

@@natashadickson4819100%

[@LilySaintSin]

​@@natashadickson4819except men benefit from marriage much more than women. The happiest demographics are married men and single women.

[@DivergentIntuition]

I once dated a guy who, when I asked him about his messy apartment, legit said "I am always as clean as whoever I am with." It was an impressive way to shift blame.

[@jellyfish_bubbles]

Thats so trashy of him🤢

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

That nearly made my eyebrows fly off my face. Who was he with at that point? His imagination?

[@ewelinaskoczylas3301]

​@@jazwhoaskedforthis probably he was only by himself, that's why it was so dirty 😂 Good that he showed so quickly that he is not worthy to live with any women.

[@stephysteph9538]

I live with my mom rent free and it allows me to save but also invest the money into my mom’s home and into my sister. I clean the house for her to make sure she’s not worried about that when she comes home, I take care of all the dogs, do the laundry, make small upgrades to the house (paint, organize, etc.), and still work from home. I love being able to do that.

[@GGoddess95]

Aww you’re such an awesome daughter ❤️

[@artemisia4718]

Good for you!! Generational generosity is awesome! I moved out when I was 19 for uni. I wish I could do more for my mama now, she’s a valiant woman that conquered the world for me and my brother.

[@mudandglitter1609]

I loved reading this! Many hands make light work. You and your mom sound awesome!

[@ShayW16728]

Seriously us women need to start doing this with eachother. We only ever get help with other women.

[@mudandglitter1609]

@Kay87281 I am in my 40s and my best friend (for all of those years but the first 2), and I plan on buying a little cottage on a beach somewhere when we get old. I am married, she is not, but we all know we outlive the men. So, we have a plan for "after." It's fun even knowing we will be old and without a spouse. We will always have each other!

[@niax782]

“Will you come move in with me, and pay half of my bills, so that I have more extra money to spend on other women” - 🙆🏿‍♂️

[@diannholland]

EXACTLY!

[@truffaut650truffaut6]

...or just sit on my money

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

And of COURSE cook for me and clean up after me too while we spilt everything down the middle 😂😂😂

[@aaunyea4799]

More money for him to spend on weed, shoes, useless games, and for him to flex to his friends that he got a maid he doesn't have to pay

[@DontShootTheMessenger4thTier]

👴🏻

[@muhlaynee]

'Even the most successful men manufacture struggle in their lives. They run marathons. They train excessively.' GWORL. I. DIED. #iamdeceased 💀☠💀☠

[@Enriquez2222]

@llamababiezhellyeah4637as a gym rat myself when will he have time to help around the house if he lives in the gym?

[@hibak8196]

Help that's so cute my heart melted lol 😆❤️

[@laouen]

To the french girlies : in France if you're married without any personalised contract, it is ILLEGAL to do 50/50 if you earn less than him (like three out of four french women). Each one must contribute proportionately to their salary Code Civil, article 214

[@melchiorlise2466]

Yep, I'm french and I can confirm. To be honest I am not facing the same discrimination as you do, our men are not as crazy as your men. But I'll fight alongside you all the same

[@RAJOHN-ke7mc]

Dang I just screen shot this comment

[@taylardotson8100]

I wish I lived in France 😞

[@mimia.4810]

This is how it should be. 50/50 is an unfair set up that doesn’t take into account the differences of individuals. Equity, not equality.

[@cotus2]

That sounds fair and it’s good such laws are present. After some turmoil I did that with my ex but he became very entitled not long after, I felt like a slightly less underpaid maid. I’m learning French, went through a break up AND live in Berlin the European capital of clubbing Peter pans. I’m getting my own cat and focusing on myself but I am a lover girl 🥺 man lying to me in French sounds better than German 😂 jk. Is there a city in france where dating is actually decent?

[@abbyv7984]

I sat down with my ex one day to talk about the split of chores and he said he thought it was fair how we had it set up. I asked him to explain and he said we both don’t clean during the week then do a deep clean on Sundays. This man thought the dishes cleared from dinner, the shower being wiped down, the mail getting put away, laundry, etc… that all happened by magic? Not to mention him asking me every 15 mins of the deep clean what else he could do, then arguing it didn’t need to be done, until I got sick of arguing.

[@lindsaypeek63]

Eww so glad he’s your ex!

[@LovelyLittleLillies]

You're too cute for that type of treatment 💕

[@lovelyhearts1013]

Ex for a reason!

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Yikes. My husband does the dishes every morning before working out and going to work. He does his own laundry. Anything extra I do around the house he compliments me for on the daily bc I work part time and have the time to dedicate to it. We both clean together on the weekend. How are some people so oblivious?

[@HerWanderlust]

Wow you managed the whole house and the deep clean too!

[@Sidneycozzoi]

This video confirmed that I married the right man. Not only does he pay all of the bills, he has set me up with a retirement fund and made me his beneficiary. His attitude is actually his money is my money and my money is my money. His words. These guys exist, I promise.

[@Age_Of_Aquarius84]

You're preaching to the wrong audience. If these men were so readily available, this wouldn't be a problem.

[@law11school11girly]

This is so true! I am 22 and my 24&25 year old law school friends are both engaged to successful provider men who ADORE THEM! They are wonderful women- smart, beautiful, nurturing & both want to be mothers after marriage. THIS IS WHAT WOMEN DESERVE IF YOU’RE POURING INTO YOURSELF & OTHERS SO LOVINGLY! ❤❤❤

[@brigitte9999]

Yes, they exist because they aren’t women adjacent.

[@Amethyst454]

Sidney-- Sooo happy for you! ❤ and LawSchool-- Lovely! I hope those young men stay in their healthy masculinity!!

[@Age_Of_Aquarius84]

@@law11school11girly unless you're a black woman dealing with black men. That's a whole different ball game. But congrats!

[@rosannarichardson7951]

If a boyfriend wants to move you in AND go 50/50, tell him to go get a roommate. Roommates fyi get their own space/not having to share a bed AND divide chores equally and don’t have to be anything more to them

[@GGoddess95]

That’s the thing though - they want all of the physical perks and benefits at a discount by getting a 50/50 girl.

[@TragicHeroine-kd6uy]

💯 I used to live with my first ever bf when I was a full time student and working part time. He had a nice paying job yet he had me pay 50/50 except he was paying slightly more for the bills and council tax. Living with him was only slightly cheaper than living in a student accommodation with roommates. But in exchange for that I was expected to have s*x with him all the time and to clean after him 🤡🤡 He was also begging and guilt tripping me into s*xual services I was not into. And he would spend most of his money on video games and collecting unnecessary stuff it’s so embarrassing for me to remember this, I can only say that at the time I was young and inexperienced but still 🤡🤡

[@deejames1st]

But they want a free maid that also gives them intimacy. Not a roommate.

[@prettynpetty8342]

@@TragicHeroine-kd6uy Me too. When I finally woke up, the shame of being in the same space as him was all consuming. I felt so stupid knowing that when we break up, he was going to get more out of the relationship than I was was. Tangible and intangible things. I still cringe at myself that I wasted that time to play house with some guy who "didn't believe in marriage". Ugh!

[@deejames1st]

@@prettynpetty8342 I’m sorry that happened to you. 50/50 with men is never equal and women always get the short end of the stick. But the good thing is…it doesn’t ever have to happen again. When a man says 50/50…or the word “equal”…run. Run fast! Another flag is when they say they want someone “strong” or “independent”…that’s always code for 50/50…

[@audreyuzui]

now if she moves in and pays half, but won’t sleep in the same bed, sleep with him at all, or cook and clean….. he’ll want her gone ASAP.

[@It_was_all_a_dream]

💯💯

[@cecilyerker]

Yes, 50/50 is a trap

[@Turshin]

When you ask someone to stay with you, you have to have a plan. I don't believe in free lunches everyone has to work. Even the kids. Their job is to behave and get good grades. A wife or a wife to be, should be able to multiply her man's money he brings home. Step 1. There is only the house's money. There is no "my money". A man should invest in his wife so that she can learn how to multiply the money he brings in the most effective and efficient way.

[@tragimelody]

About biological risk: it's not just about giving birth! Penetrative sex is painful for women much more often than it is for men, it increases the incidence of UTIs, and women bear the brunt of STDs in general (usually men are asymptomatic carriers, and male-to-female transmission is more common than the reverse). Getting pregnant and terminating the pregnancy is expensive, painful, and time-consuming, too. Contraception has more side-effects for us than for them... Heterosexual relationships are NEVER actually 50/50. Stand up for yourselves always, girlies!!!!!

[@Priscila-yy4wz]

💯

[@laouen]

14:06 "If a man wants you to explain that to him, tell him to ask his father, if he can find him" I laughed so hard

[@gladitsnotme]

I literally SCREAMED

[@Bubileaf]

@@gladitsnotmesame omg the loud cackling that came from my mouth hahahhaha

[@persephrotisv.2655]

💀

[@FireSilver25]

Buuuurn😂

[@msmewiththat7532]

The steak and salmon sizzle per word😅😂❤

[@tamarbatyah7]

If a man asks for 50/50, ask him: what part of childbirth and breastfeeding is 50/50? Do the math.

[@ShayW16728]

They could never repay you for the 9 months of pregnancy ALONE let alone the childbirth and breastfeeding.

[@tamarbatyah7]

@@ShayW16728 💯

[@natashadickson4819]

And ask him how much a surrogate mother charges for carrying ONE child.

[@deejames1st]

Even without procreating, a relationship is still more beneficial to the man than it is the woman. The woman makes the house a home. She tends to and manages the household. She provides emotional support. She caters to his intimacy needs. All of these things have value. And they can all be extremely draining, both the men and the duties that come along with him.

[@Souleater7777]

@@deejames1st there would be no house for you to make a home , without the majority of men you hate . Who just so happen to be the majority of builders of infrastructure you use daily btw .

[@artemisia4718]

My mama is a warrior, she’s always been the primary breadwinner AND carried most of the household chores. My father is great with childcare - he still goes with me for doctor appointments, even though I’m an adult woman he insists on going with me and I understand that he worries - but only recently he started pulling his own weight with house care and maintenance. I love my dad, but my standard for men is my maternal grandfather. He worked hard, he educated his daughters, he built several houses and managed a farm, he took care of my grandma, and he did a lot of housework until his health failed him. He was a completely functional adult before he met my grandma, and did not marry her so he could offload tasks and make more money.

[@JettSettingBengal]

As soon as a man brings up 50/50 I instantly know we aren’t compatible.

[@joycejoy4119]

No ring 💍 no loyalty No ring 💍 no living together 😅

[@truffaut650truffaut6]

Well, I had the ring and it was no good.

[@deejames1st]

Same. If it makes some women happy - great for them. But I’d know I was settling for less if I was 50/50. I’d also not be able to respect him.

[@nini65078]

My type of girl 😂❤. I LOG OFF!!💁🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

[@Orangelemon167]

​​@@joycejoy4119ring isn't equal to loyalty

[@Tee-Star]

Can we normalize NOT moving in with men while not being married to them? Edit: Thanks for the likes, ladies.❤

[@iheartsvt8412]

no fr like why are we moving in with our boyfriends and not our husbands…

[@lindsaypeek63]

Amen! Ladies don’t fall for it

[@sherules5005]

YEEEEEES

[@cznnshr.]

that's why marriage is not a scam, its a way to protect your value and rights from below minimum effort vampires that drains your energy, time and labor.

[@LuxNovuz]

Good in theory, terrible in practice. Most men hide who they are until marriage, one of the best ways to fish out a bad one is to live with them for a bit. You need to know who you’re getting married to fully. Don’t go into a marriage without knowing 100 percent who they are.

[@wavecityfox7900]

I have come to the understanding that as soon as a man asks for 50/50, he is, subconsciously or not, planning to get the better end of the deal.

[@rosannarichardson7951]

He should be able to pay rent all on his own. If he can’t, run. The money the man is saving on rent is going to go to his future wife, not you. Mens money goes to accessing women.

[@MeridaEllaSinnottDBurtram]

This should be a pinned comment!

[@tonyman4467]

Or maybe he starts a bussiness or buys an investment property or stocks or whatever to make more money in the future? Not all our money is going to women thankfully.

[@cammia8940]

With every 50/50 situation that a man has presented to me.. I was going to end up spending more and not less and only the man was going to benefit financially

[@ilsedemolder3973]

How is that? I don't understand.

[@cammia8940]

@@ilsedemolder3973 some men that I meet live a more expensive lifestyle than me. If half of his bills are more than my solo bills then I would be loosing and putting more financial pressure on myself by going 50/50

[@angelicamendoza2806]

@@ilsedemolder3973 I'm going to speculate. Higher expense at the grocery store for portions she wouldn't be eating. Men have a higher body temperature. They want to lower the thermostat on the air conditioning. This creates a higher utility cost for her. Many men have gaming consoles/computers. Those require a good amount of electricity. Also, a higher cost for her. Consumables in the household such as laundry detergent, toilet paper, hand soap, etc. would cost more for her. None of those include whether or not he pays child support.

[@ZazazaLoo]

@@ilsedemolder3973for example you cook for him. But he loves food that you don’t prefer and you buy and cook amounts of meal that you even don’t eat (or eat way less). I swear when I broke up with my bf, I start saving money just because I finished with all of this restaurant performance.

[@Create-b9y]

​@@ilsedemolder3973 Maybe, for example, if they are splitting rent she may pay more moving in with her partner than where she was living before. That's my guess

[@Riyachoudhary23]

“50/50 men are pulling you into survival mode with them” so true… i was dating a man and it wasn’t like moving in together but he was paying for our food when we went on dates (he paid for first few dates) and then later he started asking me to pay… i paid for next two dates and then he just kept asking me to pay and i left cuz if he can’t even pay for the food we eat like once a week on dates then how is he gonna provide for me in future? Glad I left.

[@rosannarichardson7951]

Dating is for women to get spoiled because with marriage the man gets spoiled. Not a good trade off in my opinion. And now we don’t even get that much.

[@deejames1st]

Good for you for leaving!! The way a man treats a woman on dates and how he provides for a woman on dates - shows a woman what kind of lifestyle he can give to her as his future wife. If he’s making a woman pay on dates, that’s him “saying” he can’t or WON’T provide for the woman at ALL. The man should provide for the woman on dates in a way that gives her an example of his income bracket, lifestyle, and how he could take care of a wife. That’s why some women don’t accept low effort, or “cheap” venues, because they grew up with better and/or can provide THEMSELVES with better.

[@Riyachoudhary23]

@@deejames1st yess dating is like the interview or audition type of state and like it’s a trailer for what’s coming next when you get married

[@aurora8749]

I met my ex when I was only 21 and I was struggling too. I had just barely got a job and shortly after lost it and I was very understanding of him not having money, after all we were young and just becoming adults but there was this eye opening moment where his friend called him on the phone and he asked what he was doing and he told him we were going to a festival and his friend said, "Man, stop spending that poor girls money!" I should have realized then but I ignored it and stayed and at first he tried to prevent me from working but also wouldn't work to support the kids we ended up having so I had to really fight just to be able to support our kids and eventually I became the sole provider for him and our kids for six years and I was also the only one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. The only thing he offered was babysitting our kids so I could go to work and support us....

[@rensii-e8b]

I was in a similar situation years ago before I knew this was even a thing. At that time, even as an adult I was very well-meaning, innocent and wide-eyed. I was also not educated on dating at home, out of fear (immigrant parents, only child). Like you, he would pay but then started asking about taking turns and building. I wanted to go with his flow but it felt unnatural to me as I grew up in a two parent household with a solid father. I remember I told him that and he said he didn’t believe in gender roles. Eventually, I guess he got tired of waiting on me to pull out the money so he left, saying I wasn’t wife material, ride or die etc lol I’m soo happy now a few years later we can all share our stories and learn from eachother’s mistakes!!! ❤❤❤❤ that’s what it’s all about ❤❤❤

[@buonavitae987]

If he is not asking her to marry and just want the money, he wants to save for the next girl. If he only wants to conjoined their savings, and have bennefits as a husband but without the legal papers, he is just planning his next move where HER money will only bennefit him ALONE. Don't fall for those guys.

[@K.L.Garner-uk6cd]

Exactly. A woman does not owe ANY man her financial future and security.

[@ninisilver]

I live in the house with my mom, in a house that's actually ours ( inheritance from my late dad ) - I don't want to move my ass from here unless it's for a better situation. I'm 33 and dating around and my clock is ticking but at the same time I don't want to go in survival mode, I have my own money and I pay my own food and bills - I am still a functional adult nobody can't tell me otherwise.

[@NanaHoneyB]

Period. Never settle for less than you already have on your own, especially in your 30s and up. Good for you

[@jfaustin1742]

We are in the nearly the exact same situation ❤ 33, inherited homeowner living with mom and getting that bag 💰 Clock can tick it’s way to me adopting a child because I will NEVER settle on a below bare minimum boy

[@ninisilver]

@@NanaHoneyB and i have a floor of the house just for me ... i'm not leaving for a small house with a random that will destroy my mental health that already happened ... if i stay alone that's OK as well i know i can survive on my own but i have faith in the universe still there's a good man for me

[@ninisilver]

@@jfaustin1742 yes i'm basically a homeowner and my mom is chill and she never remarried and i think twice about getting a man in this house because they will never leave or ask me to sell and divide 50/50 no way they are pulling those games on me - like elle said, they come already built or i prefer to waste my money on travels and shoes

[@ninisilver]

@@jfaustin1742 i think i want to travel instead but kudos to you if you decide to adopt, that's wonderful for you honey

[@Random.sachen1]

I knew a guy who's father was present in his life yet he was asking of me 80% not just 50%. Do not let yourselves loose ladies and think that men who have fathers are any better.

[@lizzybeary]

I wish this comment had more likes. Just because someone hasa father in their life doesn't necessarily mean that father taught them well or set a good example. Or even if the father tried, it doesn't mean that person listened or used their good father as a template. Parents can try but people are gonna people and do what they want.

[@YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und]

That's true. A father who is present, but abusive or negligent doesn't benefit anyone.

[@breebree5510]

50/50 just means you're basically paying for him to entertain other women. That's what most are doing with their new found savings 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

While you're at "his place" where you pay half of everything and cooking, cleaning, laundry and wondering.....where he is!

[@Turshin]

Yall sound hurt 😂😂😂.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

@@Turshin you sound broke

[@Turshin]

@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066 no not broke. Lol, just smart enough to leave and not cheat. God has blessed me. I did the paying all the bills and the 60/40 (it's never equal). What I've learned from both situations is that when you do pay for everything that doesn't ensure peace and cooperation. And when I did share the bills, like the young lady in the video my ex was staying with her mom, they don't pay things on time because she never had to pay bills so I would end up just paying them. A man needs to have a plan for a woman before he decides to even ask his lady to move in. She needs to be secure that that man isn't leading her to a worse or even similar situation than what she's coming from. Neither the man or the woman are the prize. A successful relationship is the prize. I asked the first girl to come and stay with me and I payed all the bills using the same logic given in this video. "I'm already paying all the bills what's the difference" I saw the difference that winter when I got my first 400 dollar light and gas bill and the water bill tripled. The second girl I let move in cause her mom's house sporadically burned down. She was devastated but her mom, on the other hand, was too happy, lol.

[@Turshin]

@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066 Well, it seems like my well thought out reply was simply erased. Just because a man comes to his woman with going half on things doesn't mean he's doing it to cheat. I don't suggest ppl moving with each other until marriage. We all need our space to retreat and think. Far from broke sister. God has blessed me.

[@brittanyball9322]

The conversation would have lasted that long if it were me! “No, that doesn’t work for me. Good luck to you in this economy.”

[@natashadickson4819]

Yeah. I was like...Why is she even arguing? This man disturbed her peace.

[@jamberry8026]

🤣

[@cotus2]

@@natashadickson4819because she can’t comprehend the audacity and delusions. Unfortunately I am her and do the same shit. I’m really working on fixing that.

[@ladyoftheflowers44]

My bestie was with a 50/50 dude… he literally said he was “saving for marriage” and my friend moved in, purchase furniture, decorated, cooked cleaned, did all the emotional labor. Finally this dude threw her out and she was literally homeless, while he kept the apartment they had split, and all the furniture… They are still dating and I was blocked 😢

[@sevenkings2354]

Wow smh

[@AsNatureIntended13]

sounds like an abusive narcissist and her like a hooked codependant. I recomend watching the show "Maid" it deals with this topic of not being able to leave the abusive man. If you told her your observations and she blocked you I recommend letting her go. you can still send her blessings and prayers but honestly, there is nothing else you can do, she made her choice. let her come to you if she is ever ready and then you can choose if you're willing to forgive the betrayal. (I personally would let her crash for a while so she's out of harms way, but would help her find help elsewhere asap and get rid of her, she's no real friend) wishing you well on your grief journey. this kind of loss hits deep even if they never were truly a friend.

[@Souleater7777]

This happens to all kinds of people all the time , humans can be crappy . It’s not gender specific

[@imrunninazoo1115]

Your friend is a straight up pickmesha aka Barbara the builder

[@HerWanderlust]

Loved “maid”. So good. It’s not your friend’s fault, but it’s not your job to keep being hurt either

[@ainokisu]

All of these 50/50 men need to be roommates with each other and leave women alone until they are out of survival mode. 💅

[@TenYen]

My main problem with this is that he's asking her to basically lower her standard of living to LIVE with him 😭. A relationship should only give you value, him asking her to move in with him kind of just decreases the living standards of them both. Bc why go from living alone, to living with two people and you can't afford anything 😭. I hope he gets well soon.

[@cotus2]

I don’t think it would lower his standard. He’d have 50% less bills, would eat what she cooks, use her shampoo, he’d probably stop doing anything and rely on her, he’d stop taking her on dates because she’s there why court her.. very bad deal for her, terrific for him that’s why you hear him twisting words into all sorts of pretzels to convince her even though none of that makes any sense and he knows it

[@FASBLAQUE]

When you tell men that 50/50 historically is a feminist idea and tell them that they are feminists for embracing that idea they're stunned then the deflective gaslighting begins.

[@cecilyerker]

Feminism’s biggest L

[@Souleater7777]

Feminism is a good thing . What are you getting at ?

[@mun3698]

@@Souleater7777depends on what feminism. An example: Liberal feminism is basically mens “feminism”. Its messages are not women friendly, but packaged that way.

[@la6136]

Feminism also supports men doing half of the house labor and half of the work raising kids. If a woman actually wants a career and doesn't want to be a SAHM I don't see a problem with going 50/50 as long as that includes the man doing domestic work too.

[@rosesweetcharlotte]

​@@cecilyerkerHonestly, I sort of agree. Feminism is all about equality, but it didn't account that women would still ve paid significantly less.

[@MsBrooklyn11232]

The moment a man starts talking to me about "50/50", I am checking out!

[@Turshin]

I don't think a man should live with a woman unless they're married. But let's say hypothetically a couple agrees to live with each other, what roles is a woman supposed to take on to maintain equal participation within the relationship?

[@thewhitewitch]

@@Turshin Decorating the house, going out for lunch, shopping, massages, day-trips, manicures/pedicures, travel, ordering the takeout, going to the gym or playing sports with friends, and being happy and spoiled so that her feminine energy and happiness radiates throughout the home :)

[@bll1]

@@thewhitewitch🤣🤣what a fancy way of saying I am a bum.

[@kmoon33]

I was in a relationship with a worse than 50/50 man. I had to do all the cooking, cleaning, planning everything, emotional labor AND I paid for most of everything. And he wasn’t even attractive or fit. I used to be such a pick me that I didn’t realize my worth for a long time. The final straw was when this loser had the nerve to ask me for money for his loser family because he was upset that I was building a savings account for MYSELF instead of giving it to his broke family. Now I’ve been married to a provider for 7 years and it’s amazing.

[@aichakonde94]

Hey, how were you able to « survive » being alone and being content with yourself once the below bare minimum low effort men was out of your life ?

[@ZazazaLoo]

Good for you ❤❤❤❤❤

[@judytamoongoddess]

I had to recently ended relationship with... my father who is 50/50 below minimum effort man and always been, since divorce with my mother he never had any long relationship and eventually decided that he hates women and he doesnt need them because he has me.... I ended up being my fathers 'wife'' being there for him as a partner in daily life, he slowly started arrangment with me of paying 50.50 when we go out. or even he wants me to pay for him and he doesnt see anything wrong with that, since that my dating and relationship life decreased dramatically and I ended up being in this energy with all the men I meet. So I had the cut off all dusty men I knew and also at the end my own father... I am alone and starting from zero. it is a sad time but I cant do this anymore.

[@spookyjones6577]

Bro noooooo, run as far as you can bestie, sending love to you ❤

[@sheerasweetheart]

This is insanely brave!! I also had to cut all family ties (for different reasons) and be on my own. It is scary, but liberating. I wish you all the best, feel supported by the spoiled girlies ☺️

[@amberinthemist7912]

I'm watching these videos because of my dad. He's the dusty in my life trying to constantly benefit from my free labor while looking down on me.

[@AngelaLochCross]

You can do it, @judytamoongoddess . You're going to find a lot of emotional, mental, and financial weight off your shoulders, freedom, and independence. It's your time to treat yourself like your dream girl. Pour your energy back into yourself and you'll see that self investment pay off.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Bruh I’m 31 and just went on vacation with my dad. He paid for 95% of it. Only one dinner I wanted to get something fancy and a drink above his budget and once I got a Starbucks drink on my own. But he would have paid 100% if I didn’t want steak and a cocktail lol. Fathers should pay for their daughters. All the gas, the hotel, the meals etc. he covered. He’s middle class and retired btw. Sorry your dad is a dick! You’re better off not being drained like that.

[@R-Phoenix]

My dad paid 100% of the bills and left money for the things that needed to be done when he knew his time on this earth was running out. One day when I was 33 doing my doctorate and working full time, I refused to accept money from him to pay me back for my school fees. He looked at me confused and said “you are my daughter and as long as you are still under my roof, you are my responsibility. When you get married, your husband takes over being responsible for you.” I quietly gave him my receipt and said that you when I got the money. He wanted my mum to relax and stop working but my mum insisted she wanted to work. Now, why would I go 50:50 with a dude?

[@sunfish4095]

This sounds like patriarchy no?

[@jessy1982]

@@sunfish4095 Yeah this kind of 100% for everything financial sounds exhausting for the man, and like he wont be able to contribute emotionally, physically, at home, etc if he's always working to pay for everything on his own. Getting a bit of financial help so he can help in other areas would be worth it so he can spend time with his kids and reduce the burden at home. Though he definitely needs to pay the vast majority still, since women will always do more in the other areas.

[@jessy1982]

For his kids I understand, but as a husband to the wife it's not great, especially since he was encouraging the mom not to work (we always need some of our own income to not be trapped in case something goes wrong).

[@sunfish4095]

@@jessy1982 Yes, the issue is that we've built an economy based on 2 incomes. It's ok to have expectations of what will best create a family and marriage but it's also important to weight this with the reality of how many people actually earn an income to where they can express those paternal feelings toward their wife and children.

[@jessy1982]

@@sunfish4095 Yeah

[@DianaPerez-vr7op]

Honestly ever since listening to your videos i have been transforming into a spoiled girlie cause guess what.. i DESERVE to be treated RIGHT. We as women already give to men by being ourselves: spontaneous, loving, attentive, etc. so the least they can do is demonstrate appreciation by paying.

[@sandramilfort9261]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@HopefulNihilist]

@@DianaPerez-vr7op Woman "loving"?? LMAO

[@marijanikolic4873]

My dad was always the provider. I live with my brother now and he makes a bit less than me and he still doesn't let me pay for anything. We were talking about getting a car together so we can get a better car, and the first thing my brother said was "You don't have to give me anything. I'll get the car and you'll drive it." He's driving my car for the time being and there wasn't once that he didn't take my car and filled it up after using it. I willingly take up all the house work, and yet still he vacuums and cleans when he notices that I didn't have the time. His explanation is "Save up the money for the future so I don't have to worry about you." I could never go 50:50 because almost every man in my life is like that. What's the logic between 50:50? He wants to make money off me. I'm not a business deal. Will he ask my children to pay 50:50 when they come of age, too? No. That's not the life i want to live.

[@heyhey439]

Healthy, supportive family men are such a serve. I love that for you, Bestie ❤

[@aaunyea4799]

You've got great men in your life!

[@sheerasweetheart]

“Save your money for the future so I don’t have to worry about you” - I have tears in my eyes, imagining having a brother saying this to me. Never experienced that from any man in my life, but this is what I’m striving for. Thank you for sharing 😭❤️☺️

[@GrungeGalactica]

My mum’s the bread winner and does everything else on top of that somehow 🙈. But I’ll tell any potential suitors this story for sure 😉. my mum’s a boss and I love her, but it makes me sad/annoyed that she works 2 shifts and panders to my dad. I know I don’t have it in me to live up to all that, if I had a husband and family.

[@lovelyhearts1013]

love that, those are real men!

[@HeyLady08]

You never miss, Manifestelle! Find a man who values feminity and understand that house work, cooking everyday and taking care of the kids is a FULL TIME JOB. An exhausting job with no days off and no vacations.

[@megnelli]

Why? Why do we expect men to treat their wives worse than basic labor laws? Why wouldn’t she get a house cleaner, health and relaxation vacations and services provided for her wellbeing.

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

Yah I don’t LIKE cleaning. My husband and I clean together and when we’re able we’ll hire a cleaner. I don’t want to be a maidservant, I’m a business owner and creative. I love traveling. I love cooking, and I do when I want to. But my husband never expects it as he cooks his own meals for himself most of the time. It’s not hard to grasp this.

[@sabrinagonzales4456]

Women are bosses, let him hire people who can do those jobs.

[@Detonatorrr]

If you get no days off and no vacations you're a servant. Being a stay at home parent should never feel like a full time job!

[@nigelharvey640]

Forget about that. If he really values femininity he should Get a maid, a cook, and a baby sitter and have you just enjoy your life. Everyone knows femininity is about being pretty and inspiring only. You shouldn’t have to do anything for a man.

[@baddcheeta.]

My line when I get hit with that 50/50 convo: “I don’t need to be here, I don’t need to pay to be with someone, that’s not what I want. If I have to pay to be with you I’m good by myself.” And that convo was never had again 😂❤

[@MinnaMsz]

Plus how was he able to pay for it all on his own before you

[@baddcheeta.]

@@MinnaMsz right? The math is just not mathing! Some men just need to evolve and get with the spoiled girlie program

[@MinnaMsz]

@@baddcheeta. Acting like they doing you a favor. You gotta pay those bills whether I’m there or not, not my problem sirrrrr

[@baddcheeta.]

@@MinnaMsz Exactly!!! Hope more girlies get to know this support group!

[@Virginia-mh2kw]

“If he didn’t have a good father he’s fatherless” Clay from Love is Blind is such a good example of this phenomenon.

[@queenonyekwere]

So true

[@ccblack3983]

I grew up in a 50/50 household. My mother and my stepfather both worked taxing day jobs, came home and put their feet up. They both had a men's mentality towards housework because they were both "equal providers". My siblings and I experienced a decent level of neglect and parentification because of this. It was our responsibility to do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry and yard work as our "chores". These are not chores. These are the adult tasks required to maintain the home you desired to have. Viewing 50/50 through only a financial lens within your adult relationship puts off the responsibility of maintaining your household onto your children. One of the two adults (preferably both!) has to pick up the slack to take care of your home. Whether you factor that into your financials or not is a different story. Just because bills are covered does not mean your house is maintained. 50/50 finances does not factor in the whole picture of creating a family and maintaining household.

[@_Ridethemaverick]

I think this is dependent on the age of the children. Male children, especially need to be put to work early or else they will just expect a woman to clean up after them like their mother and sisters did.

[@adwoasam9237]

At this point they should just advertise a room in their house/flat for a flat/house mate that is willing to sleep with them. Lets see how that goes.

[@awilliams7796]

AND pay for the “honour”…are we forgetting about the pleasure gap aswell? 😂

[@lovelyhearts1013]

LMAOO yes

[@cznnshr.]

THIS! 😂

[@K.L.Garner-uk6cd]

Don't forget the household drudgery chores that most men expect women to do. 🙁

[@hannahshark8080]

The part about those without supportive parents hit me hard. My last ex was so bitter that my Mom loves me and cares for me and has a solid career and CAN help me out when I need it. Like, he was literally stewing about it the whole time. Your videos are so therapeutic, Elle 💖💖

[@tracychromes7155]

How could you tell?

[@beautifullEternal]

@@tracychromes7155I haven’t experienced this exactly myself with a man, but with friends. You can tell. It starts small. Whenever you bring up your fam/situation. Disapproving and dismissive noises. Calling you spoilt or a mamas girl. Not wanting to help or accept help when in trouble. They will resent you for having a support system.

[@bikerultimate]

Women need to revel in the jealousy. 🕺

[@DylanJuza]

If she lives with her mom rent free, her mom loves her too much to let her go off into that situation. My mom wouldn’t charge me rent and would warn about Iiving with a guy like that. Also driving with his shirt off lmao.

[@deejames1st]

I think she can get WAY better…

[@l.s.d.5863]

I'm happy for you, and the woman in the video. My mom started demanding rent from me as soon as I turned 18. And her asking price was more than I made in a month. She said it was fair because she lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and that's what she could get from a stranger for it. Needless to say, my twenties was a plague of broke assholes taking advantage of me. Had to learn better on my own. Glad I finally did. For all the talk we hear about how bad it is to age, I gotta say, being a woman in your thirties and knowing what's up is amazing. lol

[@luciclark3188]

Great video! Adjusted for inflation, my dad made six figures and my mum stayed at home. Now I’m an adult and I still live at home. Why would I move out to pay a man’s bills?! Why would I move out to lower my quality of life?! Why would I move out to make my life harder?!?! I’ll have enough money saved up soon to buy my own place. I’ll have my own home and be able to afford it all by myself so I’ll never need to rely on a man unless I want too, which means if he’s not a good fit he can go! If he makes my life better he can stay, if he doesn’t he’ll be shown the door 😋

[@Souleater7777]

Good luck with hoa laws , property taxes , mortgages , differentials . And keeping up on all the maintenance . It’s probably be harder too with no job , ya know since the robots are taking them all .

[@NessyontheGo]

@@Souleater7777 No nuance nelly, is that you? 👀

[@cotus2]

I really wish I thought like this. I had a chance at this. I’d have a home now. Unfortunately being a lover girl is a disadvantage if you don’t know how to protect yourself. still better now in my 30s than 40s I guess.

[@blessingsluckystars]

Becarful ladies alot of these providers will provide at first and once they feel they emotionally got u they slow withdraw and began doing 50/50

[@janjanl1812]

Happened to me.

[@Souleater7777]

@paperhana that’s how you’re supposed to move. Trust no one. Not even the girlies are your friends . It’s a dog eat dog world.

[@marilynfrazier3655]

Oh shit. I think this just happened to me. A man I’ve been dating has been providing everything. When the subject of becoming official came up, he said he’d been waiting to see if I would pick up the tab at any point. Like, no? He wanted to see if I was “invested” in the relationship. I’ve been getting my hair and nails done, investing time, energy, and risk. I was confused, but comments like yours keep my eyes open

[@Souleater7777]

@@marilynfrazier3655 maybe he’s feeling used , and want to see if you care for more then a check . Consider that

[@Souleater7777]

@@marilynfrazier3655 sounds like he’s afraid of being used, and wants to see if you view him as more then just a check

[@elizabethholloway6945]

We two women raising two boys and absolutely are schooling them that as men they need to support their partners. I hate this trend of babying men. It’s just gross.

[@addison7105]

Thank you for saying it ,, seeing the way men get treated vs women these days is crazy. Men are getting babied and spoiled while women are breaking their backs and barely getting a chance to heal themselves from the destruction men caused in their lives.

[@MBJean]

I agree, I raised my son completely different from my daughters. He became a good man because of it, in college to become a pilot. I love the confidence he has.

[@jobunny919]

Another problem with 50/50 is that men blame women for "not asking for help." Managing/ micro managing every damn thing is another full time job.

[@lindsaypeek63]

Yep it’s the difference between a man who is seeking someone to take care of them and a man who is seeking to care for you. The 50/50 man will drain you dry the provider man will continue to water you and care for you.

[@br3669]

LOL. It's kinda funny to imagine letting a guy in a 50/50 relationship ask for half the rent, and half the electricity, and half the phone bill and half the grocery bills and half... EVERY DAMN MONTHS AGAIN AND AGAIN and just say "I'm not a mind reader!" on repeat 😂😂

[@adrianacastro2673]

Him talking about how the economy is this and that but wanting her to dig into her finances to "help" him. Make it worth her while!

[@Orchidmami]

Just having your period alone. Our hormonal cycles are significantly different and our energy levels are affected by them, not to mention our bodies obv. The breast pain and soreness, the menstrual cramps, etc… MEN DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVER. They don’t ever have to worry about bleeding through. The messiness that comes with it. The mental space that periods and pregnancy scares take up when you don’t get your period on time. They don’t have to plan around their cycles. Or see gynecologists. And IF YOU HAVE PCOS or PMDD. OR have to go through any fertility treatments?? It’s YOUR body AND your money now. So it’s never 50/50. From the foundation. Our bodies are different. Our socialization is different. Periodt.

[@trish4540]

Damn right!

[@schuylergeery-zink1923]

For my husband and I it’s our money - we budget together. There’s no separation… only with my business income which is in a separate business account. But all our income is pooled together. WE make decisions together. What the hell are people thinking? We live on the income his job generates and the rest is budgeted to be invested to generate more money. Mostly my retirement accounts bc he has a 401k with match at work.

[@damkota1454]

Thank you for mentioning PCOS, I am going through a restrictive diet now to fix my hormones cause I am tired of worrying about my fertility and looks all the time. Something no man will ever have to go through.

[@no.6377]

I recently went on birth control to try and escape the mess (I had a heavy flow that was downright debilitating 😢 and severe mood swings) but I feel like that's just opened a different set of issues. 😅😅 So far I'm still experiencing those highs and lows but not nearly as bad. The breakthrough bleeding is at least not nearly as bad and very easy to predict. But it kinda annoys me that only we go through this trash but some men still think everything's equal. 😂😂

[@P4lyotf]

Mom has spoken!!

[@therealmanifestelle]

purrrrr

[@esperar1]

"I'm tired of arguing with people who are arguing in bad faith." THIS!

[@jennajewert]

Honestly, if he were a real man, she wouldn't even be having this conversation with him. Unreal. Real men WANT to provide. You don't need to convince them or argue about it. If he has a healthy ego, he'll automatically provide. No discussion necessary.

[@adoramae5436]

"if he can find him" GIRL- 😂 Screaming

[@NatureFreak1127]

Came hete for this comment. 😂

[@Brunettte-Barbie]

Him: I’m a provider. I only provide for myself. 😂 What a clown.

[@brysonhill6829]

if you need a provider don't be surprised when you're treated like a child

[@shaynabailey9137]

Be quiet homeboy ​@@brysonhill6829

[@HerWanderlust]

We don’t need a provider, but we expect one if we are expected to sacrifice our bodies ash’s many years of our lives to creating aha raising children. A roof over our heads isn’t hardly anything to ask at all

[@WhoWellOk]

@@HerWanderlustthe problem is you guys want it under your rules only it’s not a mutual agreement

[@fans_xd]

Be your own provider 🔥💪

[@jaycayfox9470]

My ex tried to do the same thing to me but lucky I listened to my intuition and stayed with my parents.

[@mudandglitter1609]

I didn’t have parental support, but that just made me into a 100% supportive parent. I don't want my kids moving out until they are financially able to do so. As long as they are going to school, working, or bettering themselves in some way, my home is open to them as their home ❤

[@Lillith.]

I will always try to advocate for the way my parents did things. My father's money was the household money. Mortgage, groceries, savings, everything that needed to be paid. My mom's money was fun money. It would go to vacations, day trips, celebrations. An extra benefit of doing it that way is that should someone lose their job, your financial situation doesn't really change. The bills can still be paid, you just don't go on holiday this year. My father would also help with chores. He cooks, does the dishes, cleans the living room, cleans the kitchen, helped with child rearing when we were younger. The only thing that my mother always did was laundry because she is very particular in the way that needs to be done, which is fair, but if that's the case I think you should just do it yourself.

[@shev.aalena]

As someone who's not native in English, I appreciate you not making the script super simple. Helps me stay able to understand adult topics, not only the fifth grade ones❤

[@stilljocelyn_]

My ex asked me 2x to move in with him. I asked him to give me 3 benefits for me if I move in with… he could barely give me one. He was so angry that I didn’t see a benefit of us living together.

[@uqox]

I'm here for the intelligent, supportive, high-quality examination of the economics of being a woman. I believe it is entirely fair to ask a man, how his family relationships are, and what his relationship is with his father, and *what are his values*.

[@merlinsreturn]

I'm an empathetic lover girlie too. The way I am true to myself WITHOUT becoming a victim of the patriarchy is by directing that loving energy into my profession as a doctor who educates people on preventive health and healthy lifestyle. In addition I focus on promoting mitochondrial health which is the root of maintaining health. That's FYI for the nerdy girlies who want to research this 🙏🥰💝

[@merlinsreturn]

Just to clarify, I am not investing my energy into relationships with men. Just investing in me and my community. I love my life. 🥰🙏🧠✅

[@cotus2]

Yes! I am still recovering from a breakup and I was really lost with “I have so much love and kind heart” bla bla but then I realized I can redirect that love to helping others, myself, I’m even kinder to strangers, I chat with homeless, take care of pets and plants, put more effort into friendships. It’s been so much better.

[@K.L.Garner-uk6cd]

Fabulous!! Love it!!

[@ceasebaby]

One of my friends woke up to the kind of relationship she was in when we (her and her man and my man) carpooled to an event and I offered my car for the carpool. I stopped to get gas and my man who was sitting in the backseat with her man immediately got out, paid for and pumped my gas. She turned to me and said “Does he always do that?” and I was like “Yeah, I’ve only paid for my own gas when he’s out of town” and she was seething at her man the rest of trip after seeing my man’s consideration and provision for me. They are no longer together.

[@laurafandino9783]

Can we talk about how she told him at the beginning of the relationship her stance and He wasted her time probably putting a front about being THAT MAN when he is NOT. Because this has happened to me.

[@deejames1st]

That’s why women need to roster date until marriage. There are lots of videos about this. It’s a game changer.

[@lindsaypeek63]

Exactly no ring no commitment or sexual encounters. That way you don’t get trapped with a man that is faking

[@ginaxellos3224]

Some men* will never provide for anyone else but themselves (not even their dream girl) - broken men* to be avoided at all costs

[@Divine_Health_And_Fitness]

I’ve been a Trophy wife and a 50/50. The 50/50 guy quit paying bills and all of sudden I was paying for everything when he moved in. My rich husband was abusive. I’ve moved both times to another state because they were abusive to get away. I don’t deal with men unless they’re paying my bills. Period.

[@kitty1256x]

100%👍👍👍👍

[@mchelseanicholeu]

We aren’t allowing them to heal themselves.. we are not rehabs for broken (broke) men

[@startracker5386]

"Broken broke men" Aren't you the same person looking for someone to pay all your bills?🤣

[@wildgold24]

“keep them out of your bloodline” - a word 🙌🏽💛✨

[@superdupersnowflake]

Out of my bloodline for ever thanks . No man will ever step foot in my house again. God bless America 💗🙏💗

[@cecilyerker]

It’s the God Bless America for me 😂 🇺🇸

[@christinao8877]

Gen x, My husband tried the “I make more than you even though you work full time so you are responsible for all the housework”. I went to part time since I was expected to do two jobs. Thank you for addressing all the free labor women are expected to do and no they don’t get to retire.

[@hikaryagravity]

Don't let him ruin your career. That's what he wants. Do your career as you want. Earning less doesn't make you a servant.

[@HerWanderlust]

Compare your hours worked to his- (including your job AND home hours worked). My argument-y’all are equal humans and your time is equally valuable-no matter what the difference in your hourly pay is, the hours of your life-time are equally valuable

[@eclecticd9953]

I did the 50/50 in my mid 20s, and thank GOD it only lasted a year. I learned a lot within that short time. Now I’m in my mid 30s and I’m single, travel and enjoy my life. I can happily provide for myself and unless a man can come along and add to that or double that I’ll gladly stay this way and refuse to go into survival. Nothing is worse than someone who takes your peace

[@biancarowena9040]

If I ever decide to start dating again I’m going to make 50/50, a deal breaker. Imagine catching feelings for a man then later having this argument? I actually feel bad for this woman because I can tell they’ve been together a while and it’s so disheartening to hear his delusions on equality, or his audacity, whichever one it is. She now has to either lose the time and emotion she invested in him, or try and re-train his brain, which might be a losing battle. It’s just unfortunate to already been in deep, with a man like this. I don’t even think he’s a bad guy, I think he’s confused and has watched too many alpha men KZbin videos that told him she’s taking advantage of him if she doesn’t pay 50/50, this would be hard to argue out of a man, if not impossible. Even if he agrees to pay, he’ll still be thinking in the back of his mind that she’s taking advantage of him, which is interesting because women actually ARE taken advantage of in almost all relationship scenarios but men don’t see that, they’re too worried that they might not be able to have their cake and eat it too (and have someone else pay for it too). The true spoiled “girlies” are these men

[@lovelyhearts1013]

That happened to me! My ex told me he wanted to marry me but also used the arguments the man in the video was making. I said absolutely not so he kept trying to "convince" me of it, so I saw no future with him. He noticed how the energy had shifted and tried to insist he would provide after all ..... but then brought it up later in an argument (eye roll) so I broke up with him. Never again!!!

[@H_NNY]

Yep!! That’s all their worried about is not being able to cut corners on women when really they’re the ones getting all the benefits from splitting on dates and bills. Rarely do they use that money for actual hobbies, it’s always to get with other women. It’s very natural for a woman to get turned off if they insist on those things because what else would they be there for if they’re not fully invested in you? They’re definitely just dating around just to be dating at that point.

[@kkatastrophe3699]

I wish I had seen your content when I was younger. It would've saved me so much time and heartache from men who didn't deserve my time or energy.

[@lilastar7759]

if a man can afford a place on his own just fine then asks you to pay 50/50 to move in HE AINT SHIT period y’all do not settle i settled way too long now i’m a single girly nd i’m done dating the same broke stoners LOL

[@cotus2]

Broke stoners lol high five. I actually didn’t pay at the beginning but my stupid ass wanted to “help him” I started paying (not 50 tho)… don’t help a man too much like he has all the advantages of patriarchy to help him. I was young and stupid didn’t listen to the older ladies. Listen to older women. I now listen to them telling me it’s gonna be ok 😅

[@lilastar7759]

@@cotus2 yes finally i understand it lol

[@cocoace7587]

Ladies, plzz don't go 50/50 . It will slowly become 75/25 , then he will suddenly " lose " his job , then you are paying 100% .😢 If you do 50/50 , try not to put your name on the lease . B/c when he acts up or stops paying his part , you can dip . And, your credit will remain intact . A lot of times, we stay to not mess our credit up . 😊❤

[@joujou7063]

CLASS IN SESSION

[@therealmanifestelle]

SAT.

[@ally705]

Im glad for this woman because she saw through that man instantly. I've been working on this myself. For my life, happiness, peace of mind, and self fulfillness. Being aware of others negative, malicious, selfish intentions. No, I'm not going to be appeasing others any longer for the sake of keeping the peace or to gain their attention/approval. I'm moving beyond and above that.

[@mochamommyATX]

I know a young woman who is in a 50/50 relationship. She knew that he didn't have the " options" he bragged about. She is now accepted into an out of state grad school and didn't renew their lease. He will not be able to make it.

[@GGoddess95]

Praying for her safety and success! Some of these men become so unhinged when their meal ticket is walking out the door. Settling is so risky and dangerous for women.

[@hannahshark8080]

Imma need those updates 🤣

[@Tee-Star]

Move in silence 😊

[@mochamommyATX]

Agreed 💯. I told her the same thing. She informed the Landlord in writing and has not spoken a word. We had a SPRING CLEANING challenge at work asking people to donate to a not for profit which she did to begin getting rid of things and packing. Her best friend and I are not sending out the evites for the going away party until late July. She leaves in August when her lease is up and school begins.

[@deejames1st]

Have her pack her remaining belongings and have the moving truck come when he’s at work.

[@domino_seam]

He is practically begging her for money.. how embarrassing 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

[@K.L.Garner-uk6cd]

Why doesn't he man up and just get a second job??

[@alexaistrying]

As an autistic girlie, i'm so glad my parents, especially my mom, let me live with them rent free. She's learned what not to do from her mom and applies it to me. And ik i'd crumble if i had to live alone. Honestly, living with your family should be a necessity in this economy (but ik that's not the case for everyone, so my heart goes out to ya'll) and yet people think it's lame?? Why??

[@Steph_1215]

Elle, a female lawyer writes the following lines. I wish you all the best in the world, health and a lot of ambition to be able to continue your wonderful work! I am the mother of two boys and I will raise them with healthy principles: respect and total support of the women who will be in their lives! I will give them all my support to build a wonderful life, to have a chosen education and to value their families as they should! I built my life from scratch alone, and my husband, although I gave him two wonderful children, my health, my money, doesn't appreciate me, but I don't give up and I continue to live like a winner!

[@manamanadododododo]

Wow he is literally admitting he just wants to use her. Not provide, not build up, support. Use. Spit out He is ridiculous

[@Mai.94_]

Yes I regret giving 6 years of my life to a 50/50 man who didn't want to marry me until I broke things off.... never again 😒

[@alunalalune8691]

I literally wish I could live in the same audacity and delulu space as Men* These same men asking for 50/50 will get on here and podcast about marriage/relationship benefitting women The pages write themselves with the cons and scams they try to run on us- it's hilarious

[@teresan8223]

Tell him if he can ask his dad, If he can find him. Lmao

[@catrinacoons390]

That line was so good

[@VONpeach3310]

When a guy comes at me with 50/50 BS, I immediately dip. No conversation, no explanation just bye. 👋My energy is not free!

[@Fungigi]

A major red flag is a man who can't pay his rent on his own. Either he can provide or not. If not then put his azz in the friend zone and find a provider.

[@pathetic-traveller06]

Wtf

[@laurie6292]

Omg! This is so timely. I started feeling guilty for not going 50/50. And now boyfriend is sayings it’s my fault he can’t pay the rent/bills cause I’m not helping?! This confirms that I need to leave! Thank you! 😊

[@Pomagranite167]

It's your fault bc he hates that having a girlfriend, taking care of her, providing for her, and entertaining her costs money snd he sees women as a money pit. Lol tell him to "choose better next time", he brought it upon himself, knowing dating requires money and yet he has none and still wants the benefits of having a woman.

[@kou_isthatyou]

Secure your bag sis, we support!!

[@LexaLite]

My ex tried this... that's why he's my ex. I said the same things as her. He eventually redacted those desires, when I said we should end things, but who can really a man who would argue with a woman about this from the start. I just took it as I wasn't his dreamgirl for the audacity to utter it. Thank you, next.

[@prettytings8216]

Omg she living rent free and he is envious of her. He wants to make her life hard. She has her own room closet etc. To move she has to share room closet and be submitting to him. She only should move if her name is on the mortgage and she only pays per the percentage that she makes maybe pay a lighg bill.

[@KelceyGovan]

You’re so right Elle- ALL men want to provide. But many of them want to provide in order to control women and abuse them. We have to be able to discern the motives behind their generosity. We wise and stay vigilant my spoiled girlies❤️🥂💅🏽

[@coffeestudio888]

This is why this generation of men doesn't want to go through the dad anymore. I mean like cmon, imagine saying to the dad "I want her to move in with me, pay half of the bills, cook, and clean, free sex, while I do nothing except use weaponized incompetence"