These Rules are INSANE | Wedding Planner REACTS

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[@BukeyBoy]

This is so weird. It’s like they thought of all their worst fears and typed them out. While drunk, and feeling sassy

[@soiwaslike]

Hahaha I love this comment so much!

[@ashers2015]

As a wedding photographer, I literally had a wedding last weekend where the DJ had to announce that guests go back to there assigned tables for dinner. The venue had a premade list of which meals went to which table and enough people had moved to another table that it delayed dinner. Bonus: a lot of the guests took a seating place card which clearly had a sticker of what there meal was and after sitting down just threw them away. So again the DJ had to announce that everyone put there place card at there table.

[@greeneyelove2003]

Just says, "Please refrain from brining any liquor to the reception as it goes against the rules outlined by the venue. This was outlined in our contact and violation could result in the reception being forced to conclude early." "We are thrilled you will be there with us to celebrate our big day and when your time in the spotlight comes, we will be equally thrilled to be there for you. However, please refrain from making any major announcements that might distract from our special moment." "Uncle Bob, please keep Aunt Babs limited to three drinks, to avoid another incident like the one which occurred at last year's 4th of July gathering. We would like to avoid the 911 calls."

[@helyns1416]

As an autistic person who has always had really awful experiences at weddings (and is on this channel bc I'm getting engaged and trying to figure out how to have a wedding without dying lol): sometimes people's behavior is not about you. Someone being overwhelmed by loud music or needing to sit down or even not dancing at all is almost never meant as a personal slight. Sometimes it takes a lot for someone to even leave the house much less dress up and come to your crazy party. And this applies to the elderly, disabled ppl and so many other people. I can empathize with the emotions behind this list but its important to remember that while it is your day, other ppl aren't puppets and you can only control your own choices and behaviors. A lot of these problems could also be mitigated by certain vendors or the right schedule or floorplan to help guide people's behavior.

[@helyns1416]

I also think this list is weird in that it's like "don't get too wild" but also "you better party as hard as you possible can or else"

[@lingodelfo5415]

​@@helyns1416 I mean, you either have super fun without alcohol, or you use other means to get into that, ahem, mindset, than alcohol

[@giraffequeen9437]

Not gonna lie, based on how my own wedding ended up, I actually like some of these rules. 🤣 we had some dumb family members there

[@ryanelisabethharvey1242]

Knowing how some people in my world operate and that they do not have decorum and I’ve never been to weddings, I don’t even think this is that bad.

[@lindamarshall754]

Hi there sweet Jamie…these rules are not passive aggressive…they are downright aggressive.

[@directorMASC]

😂 I just adore you. Happily Married for nearly 20 years. Still watch you for your fun personality! We moved seats at one of my cousins weddings because they sat our family of 5 with a preschooler, baby and ASD toddler on a 2nd floor loft. No safety rails or precautions 😳🤯 Turns out the seat arranger had no clue. All went well and cousin was relieved that we did what we did.

[@hannahsmiraculoustextingstorys]

OMG the louboutin heels at a beach wedding was brought up I remember reading about on old wedding shaming post on Reddit that bride was crazy

[@roselover411]

I laughed aloud when Jamie read that comment 😂 she should definitely look into that story if she wants to look into the wedding shaming category

[@justinewhite-hadley3138]

Lol!!! Ok I missed the beginning saying these were all from One person! I thought these were all random terrible "rules" from different weddings!

[@allisonglad5173]

Lol I love how one of the rules was "pace yourself with drinking" and another was "turn allllll the way up". Like, make up your mind girl! hahaha.

[@lingodelfo5415]

Might be an unpopular opinion, but if you have people who will drink too much, ruin your life by criticising everything and won't like the vibe of the party - don't invite them

[@victoriahoffman7781]

@tsherrod7452 Besides the word "twerk", what other words are commonly used by the Black community / Black culture that are also used in this list? Based on your assumption that this is a black familys wedding, she isnt allowed to have an opinion? But she could have an opinion if it was a white familys wedding or an indian familys wedding or an asian familys wedding? She is a wedding planner. Part of her channel is to do videos on stuff related to weddings. Not to disengage in content because there is a presumption that the person who wrote the post "might" be a different skin color. I disagree in the theory of microaggression. If you want to personally feel attacked by something you are 100% allowed to feel that way. But in the same breath, wouldnt that be you making something a microagression against Jamie (the video creator) because your assumption is that she knows nothing about Black culture? You dont know if she has family members or friends that are Black. She made this video to break down a bridezilla, not to come across as a "microaggressive" white woman.

[@torinicoleslife]

At first I didn’t realize that this was all for one wedding. I thought it was a compilation of ones from different weddings. That’s absolutely wild

[@danettevanrooyen6158]

Coming from someone who has a family group (parents and siblings especially) that have the need to be centre of attention, toxic, overbearing etc.... these "rules" seem like a great idea.😅

[@katherineh.9379]

I personally don't have that or anything similar, but I do agree that rules like these can be very necessary for some

[@thatsfunny2051]

I get the sense that anyone that toxic wouldn't follow them anyway

[@angelica.86]

I'm my details page I stated the attire is garden party; No jeans, black jeans are acceptable. I also noted when we want the guest to show up for our welcoming prelude, light refreshments. That the ceremony will start promptly at 4 pm ( time on invitations). Could I have said this better, no not at all? It's a backyard wedding and my side makes comments about coming in jeans, but this is still an up class elegant wedding. Arg, family.

[@dolleeshay9831]

Rando here, dress code sounds reasonable to me. I would appreciate transparency about start time as well.

[@helyns1416]

I will say that "garden party" is a bit elusive in terms of knowing exactly what clothes to wear. Ppl also may be a bit confused (or lazy) about "no jeans but yes some jeans." I'm not saying that you're being super unreasonable or unclear but I do also think it's hard for people to know (or care as much as you do) abt hyper specific vibes. Like one time a family member had an event with the dress code "denim and diamonds." I think we wore like semi-formal clothes? (I was a child at the time). But it just wasn't super clear how literally to take that. I'm autistic so take all of this with a grain of salt I guess. I think if you really don't want ppl to show up in the wrong jeans you should just make a blanket and definitive "no jeans" rule.

[@brookenewton9897]

Love this video!!

[@bryonytownend7137]

This is hilarious! Is anyone going back to the friends episode with the 2 parties where Monica is making everyone having ‘organised fun’ ….

[@tilarfifield2407]

It sounds like this person turned allllll the way up before writing out these rules 🤣😬

[@allisonglad5173]

Most of list was terrible. But I will say in the day and age of the internet, there are far too many stories where people have shown up to a wedding wearing white, or making a surprise pregnancy announcement during their speech, or doing whatever they want in terms of moving seats or bringing their own liquor. Some of her requests are patronizing, but common sense isn't as common as we once thought anymore. However, with that being said, I still don't think this was the appropriate way to do this........ Some items could have been included on a wedding website and there are graceful ways to have the DJ / MC make announcements to be mindful of the photographer and encourage everyone on the dance floor in a fun way without being rude to guests. I don't think I would be attending a wedding and giving a gift if I got a rude invitation like this.

[@Stardust_7273]

As a disabled person, I would say scratch the "don't sit down all night" rule...

[@moriahjade]

As a neurodivergent adult, AUDHD specifically, trust me…clear, cut, and straight to the point rules are the best way. They could easily have a bunch of neurodivergent friends who don’t know anything about wedding etiquette who need to hear this list… the tone definitely could’ve been better, but the “don’t complain” social norm, to certain autistics, is not “common sense”. It’s 100% common sense to me as an AUDHDer but it’s not common to all neurodivergent/autistic people.

[@mandype576]

First off, I dont wear black as my neutral, I wear Navy as my basic. Also I don’t have anything formal after covid (weight gain) so I would buy a dress to wear once. But this list immediately reminded me of emails my last company would send to everyone and then when I would question the email the director would say the email didn’t pertain to me, and I would ask why it was sent to me then, and they would say we have to send it to everyone. I would then bring up we signed an employee handbook and our job requirements. This is an individual issue, not a passive aggressive poorly worded email to all. It is not good for moral.

[@hrobinson9701]

I'm with you, especially on the clothing colors. I appreciate knowing a dress code as it can be uncomfortable to show up in something formal when everyone else is casual, or vice versa. But dictating clothing color takes things to a level that I am likely not going to participate in. I have some black clothing, but I don't have wedding appropriate clothing in black OR red. I realize that the color choices stated here are one bride's choice and it could be whatever colors the bride decides she wants to see at her party. If I don't already own something I can wear to keep the bride happy, I'll avoid the drama and stay home.

[@roselover411]

I feel like the bride/groom are used to dealing with family that have very loud opinions and refuse to listen to common sense. But i don't think this should have been sent to everyone XD

[@erinnicolesullivan]

VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! We just booked our venue (finally) after a year of engagement, ready and excited to finally start planning…. And our date is 2 1/2 years away…. What and when do we do next! Is there anything I can get started planning to use our time well and stay excited while waiting a whole year for that slightly more appropriate 18 month mark?

[@Mr.And.Mrs.Wedding]

I agree with almost everything the couple said but they could have phrased it differently. However I think this is probably due to their family have done these items before at a wedding so they are trying to make clear boundaries. It is not a rule to use a hashtag but we will heavily influence people to post their photos and videos in the photo circle we have made. The sitting down one I don't care what they do as long as they are having fun.

[@ryanelisabethharvey1242]

Sadly I would need this for my guests

[@thatsfunny2051]

If I got an insulting and infantilising list of rules like this, I just wouldn't show up. No explanation.

[@bibbaaah]

Me if I was at this wedding, wearing my blue dress, 3 margaritas deep, and asking the DJ to play something different "fuck you, I won't do what ya tell me!" 😅 But really. I wouldn't even go lol.

[@amandademarco5527]

Ok so as a mom I see weddings as a fun night out. But if I was sent this invite, I would stay home. I might as well fight an over tired toddler in my pjs. Honestly I would send a gift card and decline.

[@valkyriemaiden9593]

I kinda get the one about getting in the photographer’s way. It makes me crazy when people are taking photos during the ceremony and they end up ruining an important shot that the paid photographer would’ve gotten. The rest of these sound like normal wedding anxieties that don’t really need to be said or could be said more kindly

[@lilianathehistorian2919]

Yeah some of these rules seem specific, like they're targeted at specific guests. 8 and 9 make it seem like OP has conservative or religious family members who will get on their case for having "profane" music. Some family members might even get upset with OP for playing that music even after the older/conservative guests have gone home ("it's still wrong even if no one was there to see it") 😅

[@QueenBCheese]

This is the stupidest list😂, that bride definitely listed out all of the crap that COULD go wrong, but that was incredibly rude. I straight up wouldn’t go just cuz of the list, and cuz I definitely wouldn’t give a gift. Don’t piss of your guests home slice🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[@thelightofthejedi9811]

This list must be satire

[@kristindrawbert4104]

Wth??? I signed up for the Master Plan just now and can't get to the home page on my laptop or phone. I'm in tears. I sent understand what I'm doing wrong. It says I'm signed in but nothing happens when I click Go to Home Page. I thought this was supposed to make my life easier. 😭

[@JamieWolfer]

Oh friend no!! That shouldn’t be happening at ALL. Please email Rebecca at [e-mail] and we’ll get you sorted out ASAP.

[@salamieryep2552]

Seems to me this must be tailor for a specific family or maybe a culture that is far more abrasive. Still could be worded much nicer or not at all!

[@Malekfahad420]

Hey Jamie, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

[@thelightofthejedi9811]

Do people actually tell guests these rules? Or are these common things that irk brides

[@Pikeya]

If you need to make a list like this, maybe just elope given you cannot trust your guests to behave themselves.

[@adriaunnaking3032]

Idk maybe I’m playing devils advocate but I feel like this person may have made these rules because they know their family members would act this way. Like it seems patronizing but I feel like this bride/groom felt the need to type these out because these members have DONE these things in the past…

[@orionspero560]

That passive-aggressive statement about music is a cliche.Of people who are frustrated that their guests want some slow dance songs.

[@susancook1448]

This bride and groom should elope since they obviously only care about themselves!!

[@jamiebrown5151]

I usually really like Jamie’s content but I feel like she really missed the mark with the 15 rules post. Obviously the bride and groom were being sarcastic and trying to be witty. I also understand where they are coming from by taking such an approach. There are some family’s or individuals that need very clear and frank rules set out for them. It probably sounds a little snarky or patronizing and that’s because the rules are. Coming from a family AND soon to be marrying into a family where you have to tell multiple people a million times the same response over and over again it gets annoying. A set of rules, that seems like common sense really isn’t for some people. You never really truly understand having to write such a list until you deal with people that literally have zero common sense. On my wedding website I literally have a Q&A section with some of the most outrageous questions with answers that should already be known. I also have been texted the most outrageous things. I’ll share a few: 1. Can I were a white tea length dress? It’s fine because it’s not floor length right? 2. How many coolers can I bring for beer? (Mind you we are at a venue that allows no outside alcohol and it’s on the landing page of the venue and on our invitations) 3. Jimmy and Susie can’t wait to come. It’ll be their first wedding. They can’t wait to party like adults and do shots with their cousins (Jimmy is 16 and Susie is 18. The legal drinking age is 21) 4. I can’t wait to get smashed 5. Can I bring my dog? 6. What time does the ceremony start? (I responded with 3pm) Okay, great. I’ll leave my house around 2:30 (they live over 1hr away. I preceded to tell them we are starting at 3pm and our venue will not let them in if they are late and they’ll have to wait for the reception.) Yeah… sure. Weddings never start on time. They can’t tell me I can’t come in I’m family. I have plenty more. So many it’s best for this certain bride and groom to lay it out there because they’ve had enough back and forth with people.

[@jamiebrown5151]

I have to add that at my sisters wedding 3 tables moved together on the right side of the dance floor because everyone “had” to sit together and were angry at my sister for not having the assigned seats with all of them sitting at one table. There was 26 adults and 4 kids at these tables. The tables only sat 10 people. So stating that assigned seats must be followed is anything but bridezilla. It’s having to babysit adults who should have better etiquette and decorum but don’t.

[@hrobinson9701]

@@jamiebrown5151 I'm with the commenters who noted that, if these are "rules" that need to be stated, maybe those individuals shouldn't be on the guest list. I hope you're not the one footing the bill for an event that sounds like it turned into a gong show.

[@tsherrod7452]

So, what I’m going to say is going to sound really spicy, but bare with me. When you got to the ‘99/2000’s rule, I realized there’s a good chance this is a Black woman’s wedding list you’re talking about. When I put the whole list together (as a Black woman myself) it made so much more sense to me. If I’m right and this pertains to a Black wedding, you are now a White woman tone policing a Black woman which is a typical microaggression. It would seem that some of the items on the list would’ve stopped you in your tracks to ask yourself if this list is being written by a couple that’s from a culture/family you don’t understand very well. Many of the phrases used in the list are common Black phrases that Black people use amongst each other all the time, seriously they are dead giveaways. The fact that you didn’t catch that means you have some work in cultural competence to do. You should’ve left this list alone. But thank you for giving me a great example of what tone policing looks like for my diversity and inclusion trainings.