Is this the most 'British' Empire Total War weapon?

[@UpstateGardening]

“It’s only a war crime if there are survivors”

[@realdragon]

It's not war crime if Geneva convetion doesn't exist yet

[@defensivekobra3873]

if a -tree- war crime falls over in the middle of the forest and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?

[@jadenzantslayers6694]

@@realdragon That's something me and my bois say all the time when we play games like Civ 5

[@robertk1701]

@@realdragon and remember, the rules don't apply if you don't ratify. The U.S. never ratified the treaty banning hollow point bullets in warfare, so not a war crime if they use them. Per Wikipedia, the U.S. military had even produced some for special circumstances.

[@jackmaniscalco3392]

It’s called the Geneva Convention, not the Geneva Requirement, more of a Geneva Suggestion.

[@greenacadian4197]

Ahh, Spiff, putting the "casual" in "civilian casualties."

[@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208]

This comment implies the existance of competetive civilian casualties. And I really want to witness those.

[@cin2110]

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 covid says hi

[@danielharvison7510]

@@weblurker-stuffifoundonthe6208 Well...not too get too dark or anything, but world war 2 says hello.

[@gaolmiralis2247]

@@danielharvison7510 More like the Thirty Years War

[@danielharvison7510]

@@gaolmiralis2247 Well, when a war goes that long, I guess people get sick of it after a while, and just go "screw it, just END it already!"

[@Twisted_Paradox1]

Me: How do I get rich in Empire: Total War? The Spiffing Brit: The secret ingredient is Crime.

[@Goekmoot]

it always is and was... perfectly balanced!

[@TheDolfanar]

Technically the secret ingredient was *lime*

[@mrginge143]

Technically the secret ingredient was *I’m*

[@TheDaltonius]

On a planetary scale

[@darkdragon10100]

Lol so true

[@Bzuhl]

"Warcrime" is a word loaded with unfair criticism. I prefer "creativity in the context of international suggestions".

[@reallightfield5314]

Love the way he said:"Look at them doing a spin!".just the joy in his voice got me.

[@zackgraygray6554]

Fair enough

[@cigan900]

spain without the a

[@benedictul]

@@cigan900 or without the "s"

[@cigan900]

spiny pain

[@MarlonMacielBrando]

Things to expect on a SpiffingBrit video: 1 - Horribly broken EXPLOITS; 2 - Tea (more specifically, Yorkshire Tea); 3 - *MERCILESS DUNKING ON THE FRENCH.*

[@bushit123456]

Was there exploits?

[@dimitriofthedon3917]

Yorkshire tea is WEAK

[@hiroshell7973]

So is Russian firewalls.

[@pamelasmith4230]

@@dimitriofthedon3917 Then you have chosen death

[@actuallyKriminell]

Every european dunks of the french. Even the french themselves

[@stoat7]

It's called "line battle" not "standing in front of someone battle" So getting shot in the back is their own fault

[@brijekavervix7340]

Wouldn't it be Spiff's fault for putting them there?

[@stoat7]

@@brijekavervix7340 psshhhh!

[@danielharvison7510]

@@brijekavervix7340 "The management accepts no responsibility for the behaviour of patrons. You stand in front of dangerous stuff, you gets the shots in the back!" "Also, the management is always right!"

[@brijekavervix7340]

@@danielharvison7510 remind me never to seek employment at Spiffco :P

[@Gormathius]

@@brijekavervix7340 Of course, there's no point seeking employment at Spiffco, at Spiffco employment will always find you!

[@trik-1032]

I just realised he did exactly what they did back then. Don't help the Americans and build a fantastic navy and make money out of it 🤣. Always enjoy and love Spiffs vids

[@argentandroid5732]

Personally, I think the American Revolution was a mistake. They should have appointed a representative of the crown as a figurehead and tricked the English into thinking they still had power over them like the Canadians.

[@AtheistIII]

and ordering his cavalry into a hopeless charge against an entrenched enemy

[@IKFtheGoat]

@@argentandroid5732 No

[@RavenholdIV]

His loss. If I remember correctly, doing some fighting helping the colonies would make them give all their territory to you as a reward.

[@treky4life488]

@@argentandroid5732 Great Britain had to contend with France and Spain still so the revolting colonies just needed to wage a war of attrition and hold out. Britain needed tax money to pay for the French and Indian War so not sending Britain money and making it spend more money to put down the rebellion all while still being in an arms race.

[@k3nzxc584]

"And if you disagree with me, you're just wrong" - most of the internet nowadays

[@gen169]

-twitter

[@excalligator5529]

Watch somebody say you’re wrong in a few hours

[@k3nzxc584]

@@excalligator5529 I was waiting for someone to say it

[@katerinakatykat]

@@k3nzxc584 wrong

[@AbhijayAgarwal]

@@k3nzxc584 Checkmate, liberal. You're wrong

[@jacoboconnell7518]

"And the Welsh can have absolutely nothing as always" I'll be damned if that didnt make me laugh exceptionally loud.

[@dionphillips4573]

That one hit home and couldn't help but laugh😂

[@JonBrownSherman]

After the tea rant I didn't think Spiff could get any more British but then he went and literally invaded France

[@ytnewhandlesystem42]

Spiff: "We will be growing..." Us: "Tea!" Spiff: "Sugar!" Us: "uwotm8?!"

[@Karagianis]

Nah, India is where the tea is. Carribean is for Sugar, to put in the tea. :)

[@jojomaster7675]

@@Karagianis And to make biscuits with better flavour :)

[@studentboy87]

“The Welsh can have nothing as always” - I mean Spiff’s not wrong 😢

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎E‎

[@AxxLAfriku]

WARNING I am the unprettiest human YTer worldwide. Take the hint, dear 5om

[@johnconnorburns3269]

Cymru rydd

[@franciscohughes1757]

At least we have our leaks and mountains

[@SephirothRyu]

They can have lots of derilect old castles.

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

"Come on Mortar crews, the enemy is right there!" "..is someone going to tell him that these are howitzers, not mortars?" "He just shot a man in the back for spilling tea." "Right, Mortars were are, then."

[@broccoliface4501]

Pretty sure they were inside the minimum range no? I know mortars have one, but I can't remember if howitzers did as well. It's been a long time.

[@keoken9078]

@@broccoliface4501 they have

[@umjackd]

Direct fire artillery would have been fine for close range too, when he could have used another war crime of canister shot at close range. But hey. I can just feel all the military history commenters coming though.

[@danielharvison7510]

@@broccoliface4501 Just tip the damn things forward a bit. It'll work out!

[@WildBluntHickok]

Can I just say the guy who got shot in the back for spilling tea got what he deserved.

[@doublea125]

"Not only did I follow orders, I created some of my own along the way." -Spiffing Brit revealing his war criminal status to the masses

[@sneezingidiot301]

It was one of the early attempts at the infinite money exploits before complications are to be expected

[@WillDa713]

me, a french watcher: awesome, a new spiff video! spiff, barely a minute in: let's cyberbully the AI and most importantly the french me: **sweats nervously**

[@toxicsledgevlogs6477]

“Quebec has rebelled”. every Canadian has now gotten happier

[@danielharvison7510]

Wait...Canadian, French Canadian, or some combination thereof?

[@coreystockdale6287]

I mean if they wanna leave then we are gonna be outta maple syrup quite quickly

[@Gibby34340]

I've heard that Quebec is the Chicago of Canada, is that true? You can't walk down the street without getting mugged or shot?

[@danielharvison7510]

@@Gibby34340 I'd heard the opposite, actually. Quebec's supposed to be the nice neighbourhood there or something.

[@toxicsledgevlogs6477]

@@Gibby34340 you’re thinking of Manitoba

[@bigboi1988]

“Now let’s drive into this sausage” The Spiffing Brit 2021

[@SportyMabamba]

Dive*

[@Skurai_X]

I love when Spiff makes new videos, I could listen to him talk for hours.

[@WoodlandDrake]

Spiff: "I have absolutely no interest in helping the Americans!" Me: "He sounds like a man Americans would vote for!"

[@Mr-Trox]

C'mon man!

[@callmeravenlee1972]

I hate that you’re not wrong

[@mranderson718]

My country was created because rich men didn’t want to pay single digit percent taxes. What do you expect from us?

[@tanjeeschuan4999]

@@mranderson718 your country rebelled due to not wanting to be taxed without representation.

[@jojomaster7675]

@@tanjeeschuan4999 _You know there's a tax for speaking like that, right?_

[@TheDolfanar]

It’s true that with Quicklime: Lime waits for no man…

[@OneJazzyBoye]

This video is just a compilation of Spiff severely overestimating the effectiveness of artillery in ETW lol.

[@jaywerner8415]

Actully, if you use howitzers instead of mortors and manually target the ground instead of the unit (Cus the firing AI aims for hte SIDE of the unit not hte CENTER), you can commit War Crimes by the Hundreds.

[@MrWeedWacky]

When you learn that artillery's different types of ammo has a "penalty" that can be off-set by holding alt when targetting and then targetting the ground about 1/3 of a unit's width to the side or behind to increase their accuracy, you will become a military strategic mastermind.

[@anumeon]

For an added chaotic experience in this game.. The Darthmod makes artillery even more evil... :D (ohh,, and all the effects are way cooler as well)

[@KaguroDraven]

"It's an earlier Total War game, the pathfinding AI wasn't exactly the best". It hasn't exactly gotten better either Spiffing.

[@jaywerner8415]

Truely a shamefull display that is.

[@CodyLundberg]

It was literally better BEFORE ETW, it has gotten worse over the years, not better. "All the french look the same because it is an earlier TW game", unit diversity was also better BEFORE ETW and has gotten worse.

[@thegrayyernaut]

I've always preferred the way things reflect onto water in Empire's campaign map compared to the ever increasingly more realistic campaign map in later games. It looks like a toy map.

[@camuor3645]

Imagine playing ETW without putting your units in one big line so more can shoot at the same time smh

[@Khantlerpartesar]

Me: (drinking coffee) Spiffing: *coffee is the most horrendous thing known to man* Me: (👀)☕👌

[@nathanieltownshend2174]

"using war crimes to break the game." Now THAT'S what I call demonetization

[@crocworks]

Yay, an older Total War game! I'm hoping we get another video on Medieval 2 Total War sometime detailing the Merchant Stacking exploit. If Moors (or anyone, but they start the closest) walk south from Marrakech towards Timbuktu and capture it, there are like 4 or 5 gold mines there. Then you stick a soldier on top of the mine and then stack up to 20 merchants inside that military unit. All of the merchants will now be trading that gold, when normally you should only be able to trade with 1 merchant.

[@VRDejaVu]

The Spiffing Brit: "Time to invade Spain" ***sieges Lisbon***

[@alexandernyberg8668]

That feeling when you and the bois commit warcrimes in the wrong country

[@VRDejaVu]

@@alexandernyberg8668 And there is no bigger crime, at least in the Portuguese people eyes, than mistake them for any other country, specially Spain. Thats why my prefered way to annoy the Portuguese is just saying this "Portugal? Ohh yes, the Spanish reagion that speaks brazilian!"

[@DarthRelas]

I was wondering why, of all the total war games, he hadn't done the one that literally had the British Empire in it. Now he has, so I can die happy.

[@SuperLane]

I thought war crimes were just Spiff's normal strategy in these games.

[@strogonoffcore]

and they are, but they always deserve recognition

[@Yeetmastr4]

This entire video made me think of one thing in particular: YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DEMOMAN?

[@cohenpierce1442]

0:54 I would expect nothing less from a proud British citizen!

[@danielhale1]

"Why are the Spanish declaring war on me?" Spiff, could it be the war crimes?

[@helly9748]

Imagine the enemy forces are even able to reach your lines when you have Superior cannons in Shogun 2

[@alexanderhodgson928]

“You violated the Geneva Convention 192 times” said charge for international war crimes Spitting Brett “only 192 that’s really low”

[@brandonsagoy6311]

Pretty sure if you mixed some regular cannons in with the howitzers and use grape shot you never have to worry about the ai getting close

[@Smelly556]

"I don't know how to use cavalry" -every empire/napoleon total war player

[@mgunter]

I you dropped the tea tax then Americans never throw tea into the harbor, they never start drinking coffee as an up ours to England. You hold incredible power.

[@mostevil1082]

Dropping the tax is exactly why they threw it in the harbour. It was smugglers upset at the losses that legal tea imports caused.

[@AtomicArtumas]

I remember specifically doing this in Napoleon TW, where I had 3 max ranked and max upgraded mortars that would average something like ~1600 kills each battle between the 3 of them. I don't know why exactly, but the mortars in Napoleon are like.... absolutely busted. You somehow have these cannons that can literally shoot all the way across the map with basically 100% accuracy and pretty much just straight rout whatever they hit as they kill 80% of the unit with one shot. And then you protect them with a combination of sharpshooters (who have significantly higher range and accuracy than any other infantry unit) and smaller cannons set on shrapnel shot, to kill whatever smaller remnants actually go after you. Though I still find the Shogun 2 "spam artillery ships and kill the entire enemy fort with 1 off-shore volley" strat to be the most effective overall TW strategy in existence, but it only works on coastal castles. Basically, if you have a completely max size navy (or multiple) supporting/blockading a coastal city, and you set it to max radius instead of focus fire, it'll fire something like 100 artillery shells across the entire castle, killing about 90% of the defenders without you even having to get within range. And the AI will never leave the castle, so... it's just guaranteed to work every single time. It's just a shame it only works on like 1/12th of the territories in the game because even half the coastal ones have the castle too far inland for a navy to get within range of them.

[@firockfinion3326]

In today's episode of, "you can't violate the Geneva Convention if it doesn't exist yet..."

[@arthurmorgan-_--_]

4:35. The Spiffing Brit: if you won't trade with britain we will go into you

[@HanSolo__]

"Chemical Gas" - ahh yeah. The weaponry of the future!

[@strogonoffcore]

hmmm yes can't wait to feel the sweet smell of mustard gas, and then feel my organs melting

[@pamelasmith4230]

The French and British: in the same game Spiffing Brit: death to the French

[@iaodfsh]

A well placed quicklime shot was the most satisfying thing to do in this game

[@makebritaingreatagain2613]

1:29 I like how phallic the mouse pointer is.

[@mitkokatrandviev9912]

me a stellaris player:sees the word war crimes LAUGHS IN SITH LORD

[@talonator8244]

Unlimited planet destroying power!!

[@mahieuwim]

They're called 'Line' infantry for a reason, you know. Mortars can fire over the infantry in front of them, so get a nice line of (tadaa!) line infantry, with your mortars behind them and you've got an invincible army.

[@jojotheswede8444]

"coffee is the most horrendous beverage known to man" well said ol' chap

[@totallynothatguy1698]

THE COFFEE REBELLION IS AFOOT! I DEMAND RIGHTS AND A UNION IN SPIFFCO FOR COFFEE-DRINKERS!

[@The_Keeper]

@@totallynothatguy1698 Denied!

[@paulfrancistorres7144]

@@The_Keeper ALRIGHT, COFFEE COMRADES, WE’RE TAKING UP ARMS! END THE TEA MONOPOLY! URAAAAAA!

[@SardonicSoul]

@@paulfrancistorres7144 For the drink, of the gods! Lets drive out these tea bags! For coffee!!

[@paulfrancistorres7144]

@@SardonicSoul Coffee drinkers of the world, UNITE! RISE UP! AGAINST THE TEA OVERLORDS! FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM! CHAAAARRRRGE!

[@alienworm1999]

The bomb shell for mortars is even more OP than the carcass shell, its absurd When I would play multiplayer with my friends back in 2015, I would occasionally run an entire army of just mortars and bomb whatever they fielded out of existence

[@Da__goat]

“We’re going to invade the Caribbean?” Wouldn’t that make you a PIRATE of the Caribbean

[@robertnett9793]

around 6:00 "Men .... AIM and SHOOTY-SHOOT" I love how he has historical verified commands and orders down to a tea. Very educational.

[@pyrosnineActual]

But I thought warcrimes were how you broke every game, including a few games that don't even involve warfare!? What's next, a video called "Spiffing Brit loves Tea and the Queen?"

[@mudcrab3420]

Howitzers became stupidly fun when you got stuck into the sub-continent. The peasant hordes in that area were about half firelock and half melee troops. So when you attacked a fort all you needed to do was rout the firelocks off the walls. The melee troops would then go stand in the centre of the fort, and being TW, they would glitch into each other into this dense mass of victims. Then apply howitzers. AI seriously had no idea how to react so they just stood there and allowed themselves to be slaughtered.

[@paulholmpileborg6340]

you have made me buy a countless amount of games spiff, and when you play them yourself they arent that awesome that you make them look

[@bensoncheung2801]

You'd need him to comment over your gameplay for it to actually be awesome.

[@generaljackripper666]

It's an oldie, but it's certainly not a goldie.

[@Mullet-ZubazPants]

Sir Humphrey Appleby: "The Foreign Office is terribly pleased, it's just like old times"

[@robertgray111]

You make world domination sound so lovely

[@CricketPulseByDanish]

Thanks to you , I reinstalled this game and followed your video. It was really refreshing to play game your way.

[@pandapeo4209]

I love warcrimes!

[@Frost500-e3i]

The evilest war crime is selling your enemies coffee during the war. They die slowly and painfully😈

[@JannickLarsenGames]

me: what's your favorite tea flavor? The Spiffing Brit: war crimes with no sugar.

[@radioactiveducky6769]

I love how he says all of these terrible things in such a fancy voice! 😂

[@laisphinto6372]

british empire in a nutshell

[@HazeKnife]

You can’t violate the geneva convention if the geneva convention hasn’t been created yet.

[@chalukyajayasinghe9099]

Honestly spiff sounds like a complete and utter maniac

[@zallian]

I think someone needs to make sure spiffs tea is okay, he sounded a bit "too" british.

[@ujvxyjbxdg]

The best way to bug test a game is sending it to the spiffing brit

[@damias888]

as a french viewer i don't know if I have to feel offended or not

[@Brazeniah]

As a hybrid French/English viewer, I say drink a cup of tea and munch on a baguette

[@stefansmiljanic1697]

@@Brazeniah i tryed and its quite bad

[@luishart5279]

7:36 The charge of the Light Brigade for ya

[@nuyabuisness7526]

This might be the most British I have ever seen Spiff with his disgust of coffee, America, rules of engagement, and the French.

[@therealexodus8462]

Gotta love Spiff running his cavalry into enemies and not taking them out for more charges 🤣

[@isaacwilliams2147]

‘And the welsh can have nothing as always’ as a Welshman this is unsurprising fact

[@MrHathaway1337]

It looks like the wall was built out of Legos.

[@thrupence2125]

Weren't they a 1 hit wonder 80s/90s "Boy Band"? ;)

[@simonemmen4464]

Hey Spiff! I played a bit of Empire Total War lately and I noticed a bug happening sometimes with stakes deployed in front 24-pounders. When you let them shoot cannister (or shrapnel, can't recall quite certain), instead of a regular shotgun-like scatter, the stakes somehow turn it into a flamethrower effect or the like... with a much higher casualty rate too! Perhaps something you could check too, see if you get it as well!

[@genma200sj]

Spiffing Brit: "I have no interest in helping the Americans" Me: "I see how it is"

[@CuteDeadlyBunny]

Ahh yes, I needed some enjoyment thru the exploits of war crimes and atrocities. Thank you Sir Spif

[@Nitya-001]

That is indeed the most bri'ish weapon 🧐☕

[@PapaRyan69]

I come to watch the funny British man break video games often. Hardly ever disappointed.

[@Alastair_]

"The French are gone!!" *Everyone liked that

[@Ranger_Spartan]

Why ?

[@xtz2100]

fun fact people in medieval ages did throw hot oil from the walls of forts onto enemies they threw among other things boiling water and quicklime which is a terribly painful acid

[@ThePinkerton1776]

Funny the old French flag was already mostly white. Explains a lot.

[@SvengelskaBlondie]

"Sweden has eaten all of denmark" Danskjävlar

[@ahmeddwedar8427]

I just came for the war crimes

[@OliOliDoveDove]

Hey Spiff, dunno if you'll see this. First time commenter, long time fan. Knowing that I have your work/videos to watch when I get some free time has been one of the best things in my life for a while, thanks bro x

[@mechanimanmechanican5260]

I swear spiff has made me into pavlov's dog at this point, every time i make a cup of tea i put on one of his videos

[@joshuaarmstrong2445]

Spiff "I have no interest in helping the Americans." Me "I drank tea because of you!"

[@TheSilentStar]

Greatest game ever made!!! A masterpiece that still hasn't been matched to this day, :/ WHY????? Did you find the largest cannons in the game? Although... Spiff.... Did you really not find the 64lb'er cannons? They're the ultimate artillery for the ultimately totally balanced game EVER!! ....Spiff.... Why are you using the mortars spiff??? Spiff.... Noo.....Spiff.... You ONLY need cannons to cheese this game, *10 mins in*.... You're still using .... Morta..... Spiff.... what are you doing???? Cannons... Cannons and grape shot (turning them into the world's largest blunderbuss with horrific effect) and eventually shrapnel shot.... And of course eventually the 64lb'ers :D leaving nothing but a digital flesh paste in its wake O_O....

[@Official2Shitty]

U forgot bout l4d2

[@ForemanMade]

He sounded entirely too happy about committing war crimes

[@MadnessIncVP]

Spiff: _"War crimes!"_ Me: *Gleeful sounds.* Bring me back some crumpets, Spiff! 13:43 Very dangerous, very illegal. Very enjoyable.

[@ShadowXtra]

The fact that the auto captions default to French (despite me not even being close to France) amuses me endlessly!

[@NSA.Monitored.Device]

The old "shoot a gap in the walls and stall the AI" move. I don't even put that much effort in it - just discover carcass shot, move the mobile arty close to the gap, 1 inf lineman left and right - and keep the cannons hitting the gap. If the AI gets stuck, stop, lure them out with cav/gen by making a small step towards the gap. Boot up massacre again. Makes every siege a pure lolmode with 1 gen, 2 - 3 cannons, 2 squads of any inf.

[@MrMrsmijj]

Quicklime shells are amazing. Nothing funnier than killing off a fort packed with troops with howitzers and quicklime shells.

[@vaporwave2359]

You unleashed your inner British

[@cowwithinternet]

"It's not a hate crime if you loved committing it."

[@briennerose2606]

"Men, you may fire on whatever the heck you want as long as it creates some atrocities." Jesus Christ, Spiff!

[@broccoliface4501]

I always thought it was a mistake having mainland France and Spain as pretty much one territory. It should have been broken up like central Europe. They corrected that themselves in the TW Napoleon and the Peninsular War DLC.

[@Zalazaar]

It's pretty easy to use cavalry in Empire you just simply never recruit it and forget it even xists

[@jaywerner8415]

LOL! yeah pretty much, seriously CAV IN EMPIRE FUCKING SUCKS! Except Dragoons, Dragoons are Cool.

[@kellyxxdegroot]

Cavalry is pretty good to charge and break a distracted unit (or to take out enemy cannons if those are left unprotected), however when they are targeted by any ranged unit things turn sour very quickly

[@Nolan65775]

Empire: Total War, the game that made every single person demand naval warfare in every total war game and complain when it wasn't included.