we NEED to talk about ariana grande's home wrecking ways....

[@Swiftiebooklover7]

Great video. I do want to add a point. The reason the man is not getting as much hate as her is not solely rooted in misogyny. The guy is not a big enough celebrity as her. She is an international popstar. People dont care what he does. But Ariana has had a long history of going after taken guys. That's why she is getting more focus. And a lot of prople have been trying to defend ariana using this excuse. Yes the man should get more hate in this scenario but ariana is not an innocent bystander. She also has a part to play in this. People girlbossifying the situation with tweets like "god forbid women have hobbies" and "the wife is trying to get famous by shading ariana" are really trivializing the situation which is extremely traumatic for the wife.

[@tinaye8638]

Exactly.

[@anushabhattacharya4837]

most sensible comment i’ve read in a while

[@0livE3S]

i must say i don't agree with you completly, i take angelina jolie and brad pitt as an example, when break out the news that brad cheat on jennifer with angelina (allegedly) media blamed all on angelina, there are a lot of articles about that, almost no one said a thing on brad's responsability. If this is true, yes ariana has a responsability, that is truth, but the idea that the man is not taking the blame bc he is less famous i don't think is truth, or else this story wouldn't matter. but that's my view tho

[@MVangelmx]

Well said

[@katsageexe]

I agree it's not misogynistic to hold women accountable for basically being an accomplice. But it's the fact that women get more focus that is the misogyny. It's just like Adam Levine, people didn't spam him the way they did with Sumner but tbh she was making the situation worse for herself and was very braggy about it. She was just as guilty but women do tend to get more shaming than men do. I don't like the term "homewrecker" because it was still his decision to cheat, but she was also married so she cheated on her husband as well. In this specific situation Ethan and Ariana are equally guilty.

[@alienlove2182]

You ate and covered this with grace and empathy while still having a giggle. Hoping for healing for all parties involved in this mess. 😬

[@migi4198]

but not for ethan slater🙏🏼🙏🏼 #trashman

[@MK-ls9vb]

Ugh what you said about Ariana’s looks constantly changing made me think of her speaking voice changing constantly, too. It’s so obvious she has been going through a personality crisis. I hope she gets help and stops coping in these unhealthy ways.

[@hellbunniez3]

it’s so weird how she’s always race hopping.

[@sejuline]

The thing is, she could get help (dont know if she is getting right now, I just know she did go to therapy in the past). But girl has all the money and options, she just has to want it

[@Porcelynnn]

@@sejulineshe doesn’t want to go to therapy. she did for a time and then stopped and said music is her therapy lol

[@BeccasaurousRex270]

It’s not a personality crisis. It’s marketing. She changes her looks to meet the current trends.

[@gingermcmahon3479]

@@BeccasaurousRex270i think a mix of both maybe

[@akhilab8064]

This was a very compassionate yet critical video. You're a great journalist Zack!

[@willowshaffer7410]

Couldn't have said it better myself. The work on this channel is always great

[@Vigilanteshitsupremancy]

She held their child and said she wanted to be a mom while she was screwing him 🤮🤮🤮

[@chaigneau6981]

hell no that’s just fucked up

[@shradhachawan4569]

Who told u that?

[@jubilee4]

Sauce?

[@Vigilanteshitsupremancy]

​@@jubilee4The wife told that to some magazine, idk which

[@onlysoraya]

shes a horrible person wtf

[@Augustine0899]

This was a very wholesome and mature take. Just a couple of points from my end - 1. Ariana and Dalton haven't even filed for divorce yet, and the pos Ethan filed after the reports broke out, so they were definitely married (atleast legally) and I don't see if you were broken up for the past so many months why couldn't you just file for divorce already!? 2. Ariana made an anniversary story for Dalton in mid May, where she actually wrote "I love you so" . Just makes the timelines seem even more sus. Ethan also put up mother's day post for Lilly in May -which Ariana liked 3. Plus I think this is a PR disaster, the team was planning on breaking this out more slowly and making dalton seem sketchy (read: Ariana liking cryptic posts on ig, reports about him being out with other girls in the gossip rags etc.) and then introduce the Ethan angle gradually, but something (i guess an angry partner or someone with some hard proof) was about to get out / blow up and they wanted to get ahead of it. 4. Ethan is 100% at fault. While I do see the power dynamics (a beautiful, famous, desirable, talented celebrity showing interest / reciprocating the interest of a not so famous / dashing guy trying to make it big in Hollywood) it was his decision to do it. His decision to cheat on and leave his wife and 11 month old child in what is arguably the hardest time of parenting was entirely his own. Plus i also see men saying "Oh we would've left our wives for Ari too" is such bs, but its also people giving him leeway in this whole nonsense. 5. That being said, its not like Ariana didn't make bad decisions, and if Lilly wants to call her out on them and call her not a girl's girl (absolutely true in this case) then she had it coming yk. Actions have consequences, you have free will, could've said no at anytime, especially when you are married + haven't even filed for divorce yet. 6. Another angle to the stan culture - Ariana stans are legit trying to shame Lilly, blame her for calling out Ari or speaking to news outlets, saying that everything is false and that the timeline isn't sketchy at all and calling out criticisms misogynistic.

[@mgzc41]

Totally agree with you

[@omegasobsessions]

Separation usually does come a good deal of time before divorce tbh. Yes, you CAN walk out one day and file the next but it is a very stupid way to go. Once you file there are countless things you can no longer do such as remove spouse from credit cards, move 1/2 the money from joint account to personal account, removing from any insurance plans, change life insurance etc etc etc until the divorce is finalized. A good lawyer will have a list of things to do before you file as well as a list of documents and dollar amounts to gather - it is a huge undertaking, especially with money involved. So, on that particular issue it sort of isn’t one when you know what a divorce entails.

[@Augustine0899]

@omegasobsessions6003 I mean you could, but I doubt any changes you make in your personal assets before filing would make sense as a Judge will at the end of the day decide the splitting of assets (irrespective of such changes). I think the timeline from filing to finalisation involves all the account splitting etc. Whatever it is, I'm just saying that 7 months feels like a long enough time to complete the pre filing formalities atleast, and given that Ariana is a Millionaire I'm assuming there was a prenup in place? But yeah, since I haven't gotten divorced lol so I can't be sure of the timelines.

[@tarathoughts13]

I will say though, divorce takes time, especially if you have kids, so I can understand to an extent why some overlap could have happened when they were still legally married, from personal experience, I mean I know people who have been separated for like 4 years now, but are still working out the legal divorce. But yea, if the wife hadn’t come out and said soemthing, I would have believed that it’s not cheating and they were just finalising legal work towards the beginning of her and Ethan’s relationship.

[@catkin-z8g]

He didn't leave for Ari. He left to work on a movie on the other side of the Atlantic that was going to take a cosiderable amount of time. Lilly could have gone there to be nearby so obviously they did't take that option for a reason and he would have been away regardless of anything else. Certainly it would seem that relocating would be the better choice if you wanted a successful relationship. Long distance relationships are notoriously problematic although there is some positive statistics on them. Maybe it depends but in this case it wasn't exactly necessary as far as I can tell. If it was me I think selling real estate would not be my priority.

[@LaurenKahlan]

This! It's not that Ethan isn't more to blame, but for the people saying "she didn't make vows to the other woman, you're misogynist if you blame her too" absolves her for encouraging and engaging behavior, and as a teacher I've seen the grief this causes kids. I had an 8 year old last year who was sobbing everyday and saying he wanted to unalive himself because his dad was cheating on his mom. We got the kid help but the other woman absolutely has some responsibility in the grief she is taking part in causing, although yes, I do blame the dad more. I also agree about your analysis that she is suffering internally. Hurt people, hurt people, though that doesn't take away responsibility.

[@lonnie6088]

I agree that Ariana seems unwell, this whole thing has just made me wonder: girl, what’s going on? What’s the psychic wound that’s been dogging you so bad (bc some of it precedes her concert tragedy, Mac Miller, etc, although those events certainly compound it)? If she’s not in therapy she should be. If she is in therapy she needs to change therapists.

[@ttcgr]

honestly i think it’s from nickelodeon, after reading i’m glad my mom died i’m convinced that she went through some stuff bc of victorious

[@alexisramsey5555]

⁠@@ttcgrI remember an insta post she made a few years back actually saying that she was grateful for her experience on victorious. I’m sure there is some subconscious stuff that altered her psyche but as far as I know, she wasn’t necessarily traumatized like Jeannette was.

[@prettybird2392]

I remember her saying in an interview during her Thank u, Next era that she stopped going to therapy because she thought it wasn’t helping her. Girl. Be fucking for real. Get back to therapy.

[@caleidoscopecara]

Dan. Schneider.

[@paolavallado5882]

@@kwoylee5617 Agreed, she also has all of the money and resources to not only do the work on HERSELF but seek therapy for the traumas that took place literally years ago. Not to say she'll ever fully get over them of course, but it doesn't appear she's made any effort to better herself as a person.

[@ohio_nights]

I’ve followed her music since her second album and I think they’re both at fault. It’s a little bit crazy to me watching people “pick sides” - this is trash behavior no matter how you slice and dice it. We have to stop pretending men are simple minded, bumbling idiots who hardly function each day: Ethan was well aware that he had a wife and baby at home. He made a deliberate and conscious decision to throw that away. And Ariana? To befriend his wife, hang out with her, spend time with their baby while she was *allegedly* screwing him all the while? Irredeemable. It’s a game of cat and mouse to her & once she makes a catch, she scraps him and looks for the next relationship to explode. They’re both shameless. Wishing the absolute best for Lilly and her child.

[@hellbunniez3]

yes!!! both of them do not deserve empathy at all, except for lilly jay and her baby. it’s absolutely gross how ariana’s stans are being crazed nutties attacking lilly jay for going to news outlets because of this!

[@lessismore8533]

@@hellbunniez3ari fans are the WORST I swear. They just didn’t want Ariana exposed

[@scarlettsativa2960]

She’s been inserting herself into relationships wayyy before Manchester. And before Mac. She broke up Macs relationship, and a few more (including her own), before it even happened. And trauma has never been, and never will be, an excuse to hurt others around you. Especially when you have the money/resources for therapy.

[@gabifgt]

exactly!!!

[@soaribb32]

Sure, I don't think we should pity her. But criticizing a woman doesn't have to be mysoginistic, that's the point of the video.

[@chelseawombats9772]

The part about her never really showing her face on HD screens during her concerts is SUCH A GOOD POINT. I went to the Sweetener tour and there was something about it that was weird to me/I didn't like, but now I realize exactly what the problem was. It was SO DARK on the stage the entire time!! Never a spotlight or anything. A closeup of her face was never shown on the screens either. Honestly, it was almost like they were using a stand in for her and didn't want anyone to know. But her being insecure about her appearance makes soooooo much sense, and it explains why that concert was so odd. I'd never put that together before, so thank you!

[@nikki2442]

Naya Riveria and Big Sean were ENGAGED when he called off their wedding to be with Ariana Grande. This girl is vicious.

[@hellbunniez3]

remember that naya saw ariana in big sean’s house and had the audacity to smile at her hello???? that’s so disgusting honestly

[@HopeWren]

I’m sorry but her trauma doesn’t excuse her behaviour. My husband cheated on me and then made me homeless so I know the pain of infidelity in a marriage. People say oh well if a man wants to cheat he will but if no one engages the cheater then they won’t be able to. Both people are responsible but She knew what she was doing and going through trauma doesn’t excuse you causing someone else trauma. 👏🏻👏🏻

[@MrsRitchieBlackmore]

💯💯💯. Having past trauma doesn't give you the right to traumatize others. Ariana is 30 years old and richer than sin. She can afford therapy.

[@taytaybaby6]

@@MrsRitchieBlackmorecompletely agree, but also you have to be willing to accept what you’re getting from therapy. Maybe her inability to do so is linked to some sort of personality disorder (I’m absolutely not qualified to diagnose anyone), but psychology is interesting. I think people do sucky things for reasons and it comes from somewhere aside from them just doing things to suck. Who knows. Not saying that anything she participates in when it comes to wrecking a relationship is ok by ANY means, but Ethan has his own free will as well. They both seem like incredibly insecure people. Insecurity attracts insecurity. Again, psychology is interesting. And leads to absolute devastation for multiple people involved.

[@AnimeBronx]

You have no idea what is going on. You are choosing to believe basement rumors. 🤡

[@ptvfl]

@@AnimeBronxyikes a delusional person in the wild

[@patriciarowe6685]

​@@AnimeBronxAnd you do. Name calling is so easy.

[@lindsaysmith4208]

The reason he’s not getting as much hate is because he’s a nobody… no one is disappointed in him because we don’t have expectations for someone we don’t know or care about… She gets the heat because she’s the reason we care about the story in the first place

[@morgandavis1527]

I can’t wait for Ariana to inevitably thank u next Ethan and then for Ethan’s ex wife not to take him back either

[@winnikvinni]

periodt

[@lobaetoile8440]

She doesn't know how to be alone. She seems to rely on partners and friends to regulate her emotions. And although it's not bad to have a support system or rely on other people, the nature of her life style makes impossible for her to have her partner and close friends with her all the time... She can't have a stable permanent group of people traveling with her everywhere, because they have their own jobs separate from hers. Also, being a pop star creates alienation from the average person, being an idol creates a power imbalance due to idealisation that she doesn't seem to be aware of or fully understand. She wants to be friendly with everyone arround her and feel normal and relate to the average person, so she befriends her collegues, her employees, people who are around her on her daily life, and they probably get star struck and feel special just because she talks to them... I think all this is partially what has caused her to develop these patterns of behavior (of starting to date someone new as soon as her relationship is in crisis, and dating people who are far less famous than her). I suppose there's also a possibility of her having a sex addiction or being polyamorous and in denial about it, but I don't wanna speculate about any of that. The point is that, we never know what is happening with someone else's mental health and personal life. But we do know that she has gone through a series of traumatic events that were highly publicised (I am not going to mention them because everyone knows). We also know she was a child star and that she has body dysmorphia. And an absent father, growing up. That's enough to assume she must have unresolved traumas. She probably feels unsafe easily, an intimacy probably makes her feel safer, or maybe give sher a happy feeling that is distracting and comforting. She certainly seems like the type of person who can not have a long distance relationship. Having said all this, I am not excusing any of her bad behaviors. She is an adult woman and responsible for her conscious actions. She also has the resources to seek therapy from a variety of professionals and the option of staying away from the limelight for as long as she needs to, in order to focus on herself. Ultimately, celebrities personal lives are none of my business and I keep in mind that I don't know the details of the circumstances, so I think I am not in the position to decide what "punishment" any celebrity deserves (for wrongdoings that only affect their personal relationships, obviously it's different if their actions are affecting the public or a group or community).

[@gabifgt]

i do think we all moved forward from the manchested attack too fast, and i think ariana is still deeply traumatized by it. however, this pattern of pursuing taken men happened before that, so i don't think it's right to use that tragedy to justify her behavior. her cute/soft image make people forget that she's a 30 year old woman, a grown adult, and people have let her get away with certain things because she has a cute voice and she's short and wears extra large clothes to look even smaller. that's literally it. it all makes it looks like you're talking shit about a child.

[@sejuline]

This!!!

[@evaphillips2102]

After she got married she entered the big leagues. Couldn’t exactly play that “cute young kid” anymore.

[@modern-lover]

She’s literally the “I’m just a baby” meme

[@gabifgt]

@@dea9457 exactly!! absolutely disturbing

[@dea9457]

She literally sexualizes herself in songs while also infantilizing herself. Of course weird men would come after her even though it takes him to abandon his whole family.

[@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz]

Well said. My thoughts from the beginning have been that I don't like to call women homewreckers, but if anyone is worthy of that title it's her. It's just that she's done the same thing over and over for years and it's such a pattern at this point. I do empathize with some of the things she's been through and I do think she struggles with a lot of things which I also empathize with. I deal with bad mental health myself and it can be a challenge. But it's not an excuse for constantly going after taken men. I really don't think this relationship is going to last though and I hope it was worth it. To both Ethan and Ariana. He's obviously part of the problem too and so are all the other men.

[@lucaaagaga2005]

I agree with everything you said but when u said “ I don’t like to call women homewreckers” i’m sorry i gotta keep it real idc call me sexist if u want but idc i’ll call a woman a homewrecker if she’s one period. Idk i be seeing people talk ab how we shouldn’t blame the women like y’all idc whether it’s a man or a woman if you’re a homewrecker than you’re one js bc you’re a woman that means you get to away from stuff?? umm no… if u gotta be called out than u gon be called out 🤷 if the women Knew ab the relationship and still decided to be hooking up with him than idc she’s a homewrecker as well i gotta call it what it is 🤷

[@0livE3S]

@@lucaaagaga2005 I guess the bigger picture here is that the 'homewrecker' title has a lot of misogynistic connotations because it really places the blame solely on the woman: she is the one who supposedly broke the family apart, while taking off the responsibility of the spouse as well. Look at how much of a loaded title it is. I rarely see people using this term for men, or if they do, it's probably not as common. Both parties have responsibility, don't get me wrong, but the one engaged in the relationship bears much more of it. If the person is a man, people probably won't pay much attention to him, as the focus tends to be on the woman who is seen as destroying the relationship. Men often seem to lack a voice in this narrative. Again, I'm not excusing the woman's actions, I'm simply pointing out that this term is rooted in misogynistic beliefs

[@captainsavahoe236]

​@@lucaaagaga2005homewrecker implies that the cheating husbands are victims. That's why , as a culture, we are trying to move away from using the word. But you use what words ur comfortable with,! ❤️

[@juulBett]

A second source told PEOPLE the two did not get together romantically until both were each separated from their spouses WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE DATING

[@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz]

@@juulBett okay Julian. Didn't ask.

[@Augustforever13]

I'm gonna be honest, I've been thinking about all of this purely from Lilly's perspective and my heart breaks for her and the baby... now when it cames to Ari I just don't know hahaha it's pretty clear she's in a cycle of repetitive behavior that is destructive to everyone around her, but that in the long run will be very hard on her and difficult for her to eventually dismantle it (if she even wants to). Ethan can rot in hell tho, what a horrible person this man is!!

[@racheledwards3503]

So sad

[@hayleysmith3113]

Also the way she changes her accents depending on who she’s hanging out with at the time

[@rightwhereyouleftme__]

Whether or not Ariana pursues men in relationships, men still make the choice to be with her. It's concerning it seems to be a pattern for her. That song also has always grossed me out, why did you make a joke out of causing other girls pain by breaking up relationships? What really icks me out about this is that there is a baby involved. How awful for this woman and child, their lives have been completely uprooted. Ethan will live to regret this one day when he has to explain to his son why he left them both for some temporary popstar affair. And now this movie will be plagued by scandal and drama just like Don't Worry Darling and the rest of the cast will suffer. I don't like to speculate on people's health but she does not look physically well at the moment. I've been concerned about her for a while, and this latest behaviour is adding to the thought that she is mentally and physically unhealthy. She's giving me dark-sided vibes. Something is deeply wrong there.

[@silviabenavidez178]

Both of them are cheaters

[@starseer73]

unrelated to the topic but you are SO articulate and well-spoken. i love your word choice and enunciation and emphasis. you’re so classy in your thought process and the way you communicate!

[@theswiftologist]

Wow, thank you!

[@angelaruiz3401]

As mother said "you should've said no, you should've gone home"

[@Swiftiebooklover7]

"don't look at me , you got a girl at home and everybody knows that"

[@hanzib31]

I feel like taylor maybe isn't the bible on not cheating anymore post high infidelity 😅

[@aaliyahfoster2705]

@@hanzib31 Maybe Carrie Underwood? "I took his Louisville Slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in ALLL 4 tires! Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheeeeaaats"

[@soaribb32]

The wife would be like "AND I'M HERE TO REMIND YOU OF THE MESS YOU LEFT WHEN YOU WENT AWAY..."

[@popcultureproductions9677]

Love how you broke this down. I agree that she has this obsession with going after men who are married/in committed relationships, almost as an ego booster. Like “he has a girlfriend/wife and a baby, but he picked ME. So, I must be special, beautiful, etc”. She will never get the happiness/fulfillment she deeply desires out of these relationships because once these men get out of their obsession/worshiping stage, she’s on to the next.

[@creepypapermultipack]

The point you made about Ethan’s wife being not even a year postpartum is SPOT ON. The first year after having a baby is the most brutal adjustment. People don’t acknowledge this nearly enough and I’m so glad you did. It’s says A LOT about Ethan’s character to have left his wife in this state. It’s repugnant behavior, frankly. I hope that she finds peace and love and support.

[@isaacroot5459]

Love this genre of Swiftologist videos where Zac delivers the tea but in a very analytical and measured fashion

[@hallenelson2839]

While I do think there is sexism to play in how the internet is responding to this situation, what I think is more interesting is how that sexism intersects with occupation. Yes, the “other woman” often gets more flack than the man, but the degree of it is getting shaped by their careers. I actually knew who Ethan was because I saw him on Broadway, but the majority of people on the internet don’t. They DO know who Ariana is, and their parasocial relationship with her drives their expectations of her and her behavior. Had this been, say, Joe Jonas or Justin Beiber, I do believe the man would receive a more intense media thrashing. This all brings me back to when Kristen Stewart received disproportionate, slut shaming vitriol for cheating on Robert Pattinson with her director. That affair also broke up a family while she was in a public relationship, but her career as that public figure drove the discourse to cycle nearly exclusively around her. Yet, what’s even more complicated is that even the Kristen Stewart/Ariana Grande comparison isn’t a 1:1. How we as a culture relate to pop stars vs movie stars has become so wildly different to me. We identify with pop stars so much more now, whereas movie stars just serve to create art we consume. Pop stars are seen to be our friends, to relate to our experiences through music, so they MUST align with our values. They must be our political allies. They must call attention to or donate to causes that hold value to us. They must keep company with the type of people we think they should. The higher moral standard often applied to women is only exacerbated in the pop star lens in a way I just don’t see reflected in any other job. Anyway, that’s my two cents. Great video as always! P.S. Ethan plays Boq, a munchkin in Wicked.

[@TykoEaston]

a fucking MUNCHKIN ?

[@thecavalieryouth]

Incredibly well said, and something we definitely need to sit with & digest as spectators to this entire saga.

[@daydreegirl]

I think that if there is a pattern that we can see in all her relationships, it would be lying for us to to pretend we can't see it. I feel like since she has gone through this so many times, she should know better than to give in to lust for a short-lived fling with a man with a new-born. I feel like we need to hold men more accountable for leaving their babies and post-partum wives--because they should know what a difficult time it is and that the couple's relationship is more difficult while they adjust to the new baby. Hopefully everyone comes out of this with some life lessons.

[@rinnykuroi]

She never lied when she said "Break up with you'r girlfriend, yeah YUH, Cause i'm BORED"

[@zehraahmed4604]

Hey, just want to say I'm super impressed with how articulate you are! love how you presented this.

[@theswiftologist]

Thank you!!

[@cjsheu]

"ethan slater: you are nothing. ariana grande: seek help." more videos should end with such a succinct tldr

[@itstonycia]

Ari is insecure. I realized this not too long ago when actually stopping for a moment and thinking about how much she cares about her looks. Like never being seen without a certain image like makeup or a freaking high ponytail!!. Back when she was like that…

[@aliaaaafr]

Yea this is what I'm realizing too. For a while now.

[@Marrttha]

Theres about 2 songs already about taking men “Break up w your bf cause im bored” “I dont really care if you got her in your arms i really care is you wake up in my arms… one last time… i need to be the one to take u home” 😂😂😂 that wasn’t foreshadowing at allll

[@Doorto_theriver]

Excellent journalism as always. I didn’t even know this was happening. In a way Ariana has had some hard trauma in her life and it shows. I feel sad about that. I just hope she heals, same with the wife of this gremlin guy. Sad situation

[@stepanova8]

Sometimes, truth hurts. Thanks for approaching this with empathy.

[@arturonyc]

Incredible video. I’d say the reason why we put so much focus on Ariana is not misogyny for most, it is because of as that saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Can you imagine you’re having problems with your wife, wife is probably not her best with her new born, and then one of the most huge pop stars in the world hits on you. Not to take responsibility from the guy, he should have know better but if you think about it, Ariana grande could probably destroy almost any marriage she wants to.

[@Its_about_drive_its_about_po]

Thank you for the Ethan slander, he could have said no yet here we are 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@zuzannakielar]

He should've said no should've gone home 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@tomzitiger]

@@zuzannakielarshouldve thought twice b'fore you let it all GO!

[@toejam516]

Technically, slander means what is being accused is false, but this is true so...

[@hannahgaines]

I agree! I think she feels as though she needs to be protected. Being so big of a celebrity it may be scary coming home in a huge mansion to no one and feeling watched all the time. So I wonder if being in a relationship gives her that sense of security. Also I think being famous is very lonely sometimes because you're put on a pedestal and can no longer relate to anyone anymore. Not being able to do simple tasks like going to the grocery store or going out to eat is very isolating. No human should have to feel that way and I think she's using relationships to feel normal.

[@marianletterio]

As someone whose father left her mom for another woman when she was only 2 years old, f them both. That experience, and being completely unable to process it as I was a baby, shaped my life in awful ways. It's really hard for a baby to grasp the fact that one of their parents is not around anymore, but when a third party is involved, there's animosity between your parents, you stop seeing the rest of your family members as often and your mom is heartbroken, your life gets upside down in lots of ways. To me, they're both terrible people. He is WAY worse, because this was HIS family, but she is evidently a selfish person and they belong together...

[@tvil8]

I feel so bad for his ex wife. This is such a sensitive period in life and all this turmoil will have a long term impact on their child. I hope she finds happiness after this and ethan will have to live with his child having full knowledge of what he did and how he walked away from their family. Should be a crime really, in my opinion. Marriage is a contract like any other and you can break it but BEFORE getting involved with someone else. This will also have an impact on their cast mates and the success of the film.

[@strawberrycakeland]

I definitely agree with you. People are pointing out her past because it's been a pattern. People aren't able to access the history of Ethan because he isn't famous. Even before the traumatic events she's dealt with, she was a serial cheater and messing with taken men. Many people have trauma, have lost someone due to death and go through difficult things and still respect other people's relationships & don't become or act selfish. It seems more that Ariana seems to enjoy the rush of taking men because she simply likes the attention. She lacks empathy.

[@MindfulMya]

100% agree. People make choices and decisions and have to own it. I feel like trauma isn’t fully dealt with because that would mean also looking inwards and it truly seems there’s an unstable identity problem that impacts their relationships and form unhealthy attachments. Sense of winning only lasts for so long until boredom and anxiety about the real issues then change is needed. I pray for the child and ex wife they were innocent in all this and will have trust issues now. I feel for that’s baby.

[@mvpboleyn9389]

As a child of someone who was cheating constantly on their partner who eventually had to live with that person and "the other man" I really have to say it's absolutely devastating for a child to witness such a trust break. More so watching the people causing it around me 24/7 and actually wanting to be with my other parent because I could never develope any relationship with that other person who had children himself who were just as traumatized. My greatest fear is to be betrayed as well. I just can't get myself to feel any empathy towards cheaters amd homewreckers. They are criminals: Cause great damage to other individuals without having to face any fine or other charge beside having to look into the child's sad eyes with no care in the world or any shame because it is just an expression of their emotions and how they did not get what they wanted from their spouses. A little advice to anyone: Fix it or play with open cards and file for divorce! Also don't touch taken people, make sure they mean it and seperate with their spouses before you rip a family apart. For some people it's just lust for others it's trust issues for the rest of their lives because their heroes were just lying.

[@xFolkmore]

This is a very thought provoking approach and I think this whole conversation is more nuanced than it’s being made out to be. I absolutely do not want to diminish the repercussions of both Ariana’s and Ethan’s actions, I really appreciate seeing someone else talk about it from a mental health perspective for her because I think it’s a big influence in her case. Again, mental heath is not an excuse to do shitty things, but it can help us gain a better understanding as to why she may be acting the way she is. As soon as she released thank u, next and almost immediately went on tour after two life-altering tragedies I was really wondering if she was ok, especially with songs like 7 rings and break up with your girlfriend. I’ve also had similar speculations about her just being deeply insecure due to her constantly changing appearance, and the rumours about only taking photos from one side etc. there’s also a song on that album called needy which literally talks about wanting to feel needed. I think she’s been through a lot that she still hasn’t healed from (understandably so honestly) and really needs some serious intervention… I hope she can get the help she needs before it’s too late, though I guess relationally at least we could argue it already kind of is

[@sofemininewithgrace2198]

Zach i need a q&a with a makeup tutorial cause you're glowing

[@thecosmystic]

This video is one of the more compassionate ones I've seen, so thank you for that! Quick Astrology note, a planet cannot be "in" another planet, it can only be "in" a sign or a house. I think you meant that she has the Venus Opposite Pluto aspect. (In her case the energy you mentioned is amplified because it's a Taurus Venus & Scorpio Pluto, and Taurus/Scorpio interactions always have a bit of Fatal Attraction syndrome going on.) Just a note for next time! Great work as always! :)

[@dannyharris3493]

I love the taylor content but wow it's so refreshing and interesting to hear you talk about other celebs and provide your extremely well articulated and thoughtful points on them too. (please keep it to just the girlies tho!!)

[@HolyGround777]

Wishing well for the wife and baby, what a rough thing to have to go through❤️

[@freyasolvelind]

I LOVED this. So reflective. Just about the Astrology - she doesn't have Venus in Pluto (you can't have anything IN pluto, as pluto isn't a sign but another object like venus). She has venus in Taurus - OPPOSED to Pluto (which can create the dynamics that you are talking about!)

[@sarebear7777]

I had no idea about Ariana's messy dating history. That shines a whole new light on the Break Up With Your GF song...

[@abigailwilson_]

I love this take. I've seen way too many people jump and slut shame ariana and laugh at the spongebob man without thinking about it more critically

[@tasmeenbaker9912]

NOT THE SPONGEBOB MAN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@just_swiftly_shake_it_off_1989]

Omg I need to talk about a few things: - what is your skincare routine, I need a video (it’s not a want it’s a NeeEed) - when you started talking about astrology and Venus and Pluto I was like omg are talking about my mental issues now

[@lovelover4408]

I really appreciate the nuance and empathy you brought to this story

[@milaces1323]

As always you're bringing sanity, humour and critcal thinking to the huge tea party that is pop culture. Grest video Zac! 😊

[@kristennicole5080]

It’s giving untreated BPD or NPD. Major arrested development.

[@anjali21397]

This was such an empathetic take on the whole situationship. You are really articulate with your thoughts. Ethan slater definitely deserves more heat than he is getting but he is just not relevant enough for people to be talking about him.

[@michaellovesmarvel]

All this about SpongeBob SquarePants is insane

[@evflyleaf]

And the fact that she just announced a “new” perfume during all of this just yesterday is…. inexplainable

[@serenitymoon825]

Thank you for pointing out that childbirth is traumatic and the postpartum period is even more added stress/trauma

[@roshnik8250]

Zack, I like the fact that you didn’t state the obvious like the influencers on TikTok and actually did a deep dive on why Ariana would make the decisions that she’s made regarding relationships.

[@AngelaLeigh1]

You could sit and talk about grass growing, and I would genuinely listen to every word because you are so well spoken!

[@wgrodrig5651]

I’m so moved by how much grace you extended to Ariana in this video. I’m not a fan and I couldn’t name more than 5 of her songs and wouldn’t know all the lyrics to those but I feel she’s been over villainized without the same being extended to the men involved in the situationships at hand. She deserves crap but the same needs to happen to the men or else we’re not objectively studying the situation. I hope she gets the help she needs and changes whatever public patterns we’ve seen her engaged in.

[@xe873]

I definitely think Ariana needs a better friend group too, it seems weird to me that the same person who warned her about Pete Davidson is hanging out with her and this man in London. I see a lot of parallels with her and Taylor too, their friend groups, their codependency problems, they share a lot of similarities.

[@hellbunniez3]

they’re surrounded by yes-men, and they seem like the type of people who are vindictive and mean once someone from their circle tells them no.

[@jl0562]

Taylor is a girls girl and she is very self aware a lot of your takes on her are just plain misoginy she is not perfect but she is not a mess that needs fixing just because she is so famous that It is not possible for her to live a normal life

[@jl0562]

​girl Taylor loves to hang out with people Who previously hated her because she feels they are not yes men until It gets her burned you just make that up

[@xe873]

@@jl0562 Would you say Better Than Revenge is a girls girl song?

[@jl0562]

@@xe873 i would say that something she wrote at 19 about camilla Belle know pretentious snob and she even changed when all the Girls wanted her to slut shame her again do not refect Who taylor is,when she always has said that she makes music for the Girls and she always prioritize her female friendships i would say no body no crime is a song only a Girls girl can write

[@numberoneflop]

Your video essays are the most concise, articulate, and potent I can find on KZbin.

[@fueledbyrobert]

Thoughtful analysis as always, with empathy extended to all parties (who deserve it) - scandal commentary done right 👏🏻

[@nancyarlington]

I really like your take on this! I think you really handled the topic with incredible empathy for all parties❤

[@TastyTriceTrips]

I don’t know… her “pattern” seems to be that she just sees what she wants and goes after it. And then she gets it because these men are letting her in. Like, no one is telling her no. I don’t use or validate the term “homewreaker” because if someone is able to come in so easily and lure your partner away, your home was already wreaked, you just didn’t know about it. Think about it. If my front door is locked and only my partner and I have the key, how did she get in without breaking the door down? He let her in. 🙃

[@riptideRaiders]

Absolutely, this man deserves to be reminded about this and have this against him for the rest of his life and no I do not think he deserves forgiveness for this even if he "changes", sorry. Not only did he ruin his own child's family but he ruined it in the most distastetul way he could and all in the public eye as well. He deserves all the backlash he can get

[@TaylerJones]

i wanna clarify dalton never said why their relationship ended… i wouldn’t make assumptions like he couldn’t handle her fame. maybe there’s some truth in that in that he maybe got a sense she was talking to someone else and got jealous because he wasn’t near her. i feel awful for him, from the rumors it’s been indicated he’s devastated by this. i think we should give him the benefit of the doubt, considering ari has a history of cheating on her partners and moving on to the next i would say it wouldn’t be surprising if she just got bored while filming and needed that validation from a man 🤷🏻‍♀️ i understand the urge to be understanding and fair but ari is absolutely in the wrong. also duh ethan and ari were already talking. you don’t just leave your life for someone you just started a romance with two weeks ago. i feel bad for ari but ultimately it takes a certain type of delusional and toxic to go for a married man who just had a baby with his wife of years. i’m just so tired of people making excuses for her and comparing her actions to ethan’s, she’s just in the wrong here. She knew he was married, she even met the fucking wife and held her baby. It’s gross. I’m not saying ari is evil but this act is evil. she needs to get actual help for these attachment and security issues. i agree with your analysis of her mental state. i do think all of this is her way of coping with her own insecurities and feelings. regardless at some point you’ve got to recognize your downfalls and recognize that you’re hurting others. and once she realizes her worth, she’ll be the best.

[@cassandralavoie8785]

I really like your angle into the matter. I would say that the part about not treating Ariana and whatever is name is to the same standard can come from a mysoginistic gaze. But I do feel that on one side we have a serial cheater vs a guy that may be made that mistake for the first time in his life. Which without the gender, I wouldn’t treat equally. The part about her not looking well, she addressed it not so long ago saying she has never been as healthy so… idk.

[@DoroGuerrero1]

Love that you talked about the Venus/Pluto aspect!! 🤩

[@taylorfaber2610]

We haven't even talked about how she became famous. All the stuff that has come out about nickelodeon teen treatment. She was not treated well on victorious. I'm sure there is a lot more to that as well.

[@jackiechandra7143]

You clocked this with elegance and empathy.

[@LouisaWatt]

Ariana needs proper help, not in a shade kinda way, but legitimately she needs trauma therapy and time away from work to heal. From the family difficulties she grew up with and the lasting impact on her self esteem, to the bombing she survived and witnessed, to her relationship with a drug addict who overdosed… it’s a lot and it seems like she’s not coping. The criticism might be unduly sexist, but it might also be the wake-up call she needs to get help. No one is excusing her this time. It’s not ok to have an affair with a married person and convince them to abandon their baby.

[@itsjess1203]

You are so well spoken it’s crazy, just discovered your channel through this video and I’m already a fan. Beautiful video 🙌🏻

[@callmebykyuu]

Protect this channel at all costs

[@Essie_K]

My baby boy is 10 months old now and his father and I separated two weeks ago. I feel like even without homewrecking involved it is a very tough situation and I am heartbroken of course. I especially feel sorry for our baby. If I was in the situation of the wife I would be so devastated and I think I would definitely need to go to therapy. Cheating is terrible enough when there are no kids involved but if there is a baby in the picture it just makes everything so much worse because the cheater will always be the kid's parent and you will always have to deal with this person for the sake of the kid.

[@marissaemily8452]

Always love your videos. Watching your channel and pod grow over the last few years makes me so happy 🖤

[@just_swiftly_shake_it_off_1989]

Honestly if I was Ariana grande watching this video I would feel: #1 Convicted #2 Respectfully and logically confronted but not judged 💕 I really enjoyed this

[@Ana-yh8ek]

Amazing video! You saw every side with a grace and compassion rarely seen. I'll keep tuning in as always, keep the good work Zack! ❤

[@m.carmenlopezjimenez2649]

U are the only one that has brought to the table some logic and valuable arguments regarding this situation, thank u

[@amandasoul]

the “i love to block people” energyyyyyyyyyy 💀💀💀👏👏

[@brionybarrett8967]

I never knew i needed tea until ive just watched your cohenrent and intelligent conversation, deffo a new subscriber xo

[@singingwithbecca]

OH MY GOSH YOU'RE RIGHT SHE LITERALLY WROTE A SONG THAT FITS THIS PATTERN SO WELL

[@sarahs7058]

Very thoughtful commentary on a complex human being. Thank you Zach!

[@kaylachristenson9664]

I like this take and agree with it, but I also need to add that the period 6 months postpartum is very vulnerable. He may have been feeling pushed aside and his wife may have felt like she couldn’t meet his needs of intimacy in that pp period. That’s such a sketch time to do this and he’s for sure to blame, but she crossed lines when his entire family was probably undergoing huge changes. I like that you brought this up (I’m currently 7 months pp with my second haha and this would break me).

[@nazaninnazemi9298]

Thank you! I'm not a young fan defending her... but i really feel like we don't know her story fully.

[@chelseylane6849]

You should become a psychologist. You are naturally really good at analyzing and understanding people’s emotions. Which clearly makes you very good with kind of content as well, but seriously, you could help a lot of people in other ways, too.

[@fe.brandalise184]

I just love how you discuss gossip and tea in a respectfull way! :)

[@theogsg5648]

Venus in Pluto what? They are both planets, they can‘t be ”in“ each other, aspects just mean how they are positioned to each other, for example they can be conjunct or opposite. But super awesome video, love when you pick up other current pop culture moments and give us your take, you slay 🩵

[@devikabrendon7198]

Perhaps Ariana’s Venus is in Scorpio? That’s intense for sure.

[@melissathw]

I think along with misogynistic views, ari is mainly getting more hate than him because she’s ARIANA GRANDE…. Alot of people feel close and connected to her and her music. He’s basically a stranger to us. He 100% is in the wrong as well tho.

[@itstonycia]

“Break up with ur girlfriend…I’m bored”. I never thought she wrote that about herself 😭

[@tmarie69]

Anybody who knows about Ari’s relationship patterns knows this track. I wonder if she purposely chooses men who like like a foot because she thinks they won’t cheat on her? Your skin is so glowy btw. I love it!

[@daretodream8757]

thank you so much for acknowledging all her past trauma. I have so much love for her and it's all so messy to go through datinng/engagements/divorce publicly. I have a feeling she can not be alone. I seriously want ari and taylor to be friends/collab and leave scooter behind they have so much in common lately

[@hellbunniez3]

word on the street is that ari does NOT like taylor lol

[@rosiegarcia03]

@@hellbunniez3do tell ☕️

[@char5297]

you’re such a wonderful journalist. love love LOVE listening to you talk. great video as always 🤍

[@grcnna]

can’t wait 🗣️

[@disneyjunkie19]

Such a good breakdown! I’m a definite fan of the kiki session format!

[@kaitlynrain899]

I know this isn’t what the conversation was about but you put my exact thoughts on the Barbie movie into words! I wasn’t able to put my finger on it but yeah it felt redundant and I wasn’t sure who that message was for because it felt obvious but clearly it wasn’t

[@atesah]

This is such thoughtful and comprehensive commentary!!

[@verdicious222]

This was a phenomenal video discussion. You are so smart I can just tell that vocab is top tier from being a swiftie. This situation is definitely something that’s been on my mind a lot more than I expected. It’s crazy how long this has been going on for too and now we finally really understand the extent of it and it’s wild. I also do agree that in situations like these the women is usually always getting more hate when like you said it’s equally wrong on both parts. It kinda reminds me of euphoria in a way with the Maddie Cassie Nate scenario, it’s interesting to see how a lot of the fandom hated Cassie’s character understandably but the same energy was missing for Nate who was highly responsible as well. And in that show Cassie did similar morphing that Ariana did when it came to her style and appearance which were to please Nate which makes me wonder if Ariana also does the same thing. Sorry for how long this but I’m just fascinated and I’m so glad you mentioned astrology because that really must be playing some sort of role especially with this Venus Retrograde that I’ve been seeing on astrotok. Just food for thought definitely check out her birth chart. Great great video!