They Said the Meal Was Fatal, The Human Called It “A Little Spicy.” | HFY | Sci-Fi Story

[@gyuunyuu]

on our planet we test celebrities' sincerity by having them answer questions while eating increasingly spicy wings

[@DanielCoelho-]

HotOnes - Excellent show!!

[@The-Draconian]

Sucks they never got mandatory on that show

[@minidawnplayz]

I think I heard of that show

[@RealEnerjak]

Problem is, humans eat things on earth that would be considered chemical warfare, and even war crimes.

[@SiegeTF]

(Snacking on durian) 'Like what?'

[@GenderfluidBitch501]

(Shoving handfuls of peppers into mouth) I have no idea what you mean

[@Pineapple_Pizza1]

*pops a can of surströmming* 'there are?'

[@raenfox]

(Spreading Mett on a piece of bread) I heard century eggs are a bit challenging.

[@jamesogden7756]

Have you tried grilled Ghost Peppers yet? Sure, they burn all the way through, but no parasites!!! ❤❤

[@BliffleSplick]

Fun tidbit: there are different kinds (sources) of spicy - hot peppers (capsaicin), wasabi (related to mustard), black peppercorns, ginger, cumin, and probably a couple others I'm forgetting. Also: humans eat spicy food because **it gets us high** - the body reads it as pain and pumps out endorphins to ease it, that it doesn't actually cause harm is a refinement we've done over the centuries

[@yaemz123]

Garlic, cinnamon, onion, cloves. Any of these in powered form is too spicy in the mouth for most people.

[@bretthoyle5683]

​@yaemz123 funny enough me and my brother were making salsa and didn't wanna make it too spicy for my mom so we left out jalapeños, but we love garlic so we put in a few extra cloves of garlic, and we were like wtf why's it spicy lol. We had no clue garlic could make something spicy.

[@sherrykathman3309]

The theory on exactly why humans started consuming spicy food is that we noticed that eating spicy food made you less likely to get sick from eating something. That's cause spices tend to make it harder for bacteria to grow in food. That's also why spicy food came to prominence in hot climates like India, where food would spoil faster.

[@dalekx215]

I feel sorry for both Jeff and the Alien when they have to use the toilet 🤣😂🤣. I just hope the crapper doesn't melt

[@heatherhalvorsen1155]

That's legit ALL i thought

[@sae1969]

I had to laugh at this thought. Jeff didn't mention the burning in his intestines! I still want Korvax to try a ghost pepper! One man's poison is another man's delicacy.

[@groofromtheup5719]

A good meal burns twice.

[@josephhyland8904]

I was thinking the exact same thing.

[@08techgrad]

@@sae1969 I would have Korvax try the puffer fish.

[@Rhiorrha]

Hold on: Kralix admits that he violated the rules of conduct for this gathering by admitting the food was supposed to kill Jeff. WTF.

[@bigburkhart2293]

Yeah this story is really dumb and not well thought out. It's supposed to be an insult possibly leading to war if you refuse to eat the food but then everyone is immediately telling him not to eat the food. Then they have the race that intentionally brings stuff that would kill other races. It's really, really dumb.

[@Jack-pm1ve]

As the one challenged to a duel he had the right to choose the weapon should have chosen five alarm chili

[@RealEnerjak]

Or Chief Wiggum's spicy chili that made Homer hallucinate. Now that's a crazy ride.

[@shadowdragon7701]

​@@RealEnerjak a straight bottle of uranium u236 or whatever it's called. It's hot sauce that 1 is like 10 million scolvolts and 2 needs to be at a temp of like 150-200 degrees fearinhight to get out of the bottle. Opening it means you signed a waiver of liability

[@turbopokey]

The one chip challenge, or "the one gummy" challenge, which ever works for the alien guest.

[@mikkelnpetersen]

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DRINKING DUEL.

[@simonbarber5440]

I recall one of the original Star Trek episodes .. they ran into an Alien of Divine-level powers (No, it wasn't Q) Fortunately he took a human form which naturally needed food and drink. After the meal Kirk prompted Scotty to offer him a "wee dram". Switch to several hours later and Scotty having nearly emptied his cabin's bar .. Alien (Bleary-eyed as Scotty pulls out one final bottle from the back of the shelf) "And what do you call .. that ?" Scotty: "It's ... green ...." Cheers! Scotty wins by one round!

[@telefeeb1]

Fun fact about the milk is that the way it counters hot chilis is the milk fat “grabs” the oily capsaicin and just drags it off into the gut where the nerves are less sensitive to it. It just takes the spice and pushes it somewhere else.

[@LibraritheWizardOfficial]

It's basically liquid detergent for capsaicin

[@sirsnufflepuffson1647]

Part 2 is the human ambassador invites them to earth to experience human foods and culture revolving around our food. Does anyone else like this idea or have some changes?

[@Circuitkraken]

Yess just to let you know there been recent medical discoveries that say the appendix is not in fact useless. Its actually part of the toxin filtering system. Humans can handle things that are deadly to other animals. Just wine and grapes are deadly to canids. There are things that humans eat that would destroy the digestive system of other animals.

[@TexJester-no8th]

Invite him to be a judge at a chili cookoff here in Texas?? 🤯🌋🌶️ I dunno if that's a good idea, though - might kill the poor lizard ... ☹️

[@sirsnufflepuffson1647]

@TexJester-no8th lol ya that would be fun 😁

[@simonbarber5440]

Scottish deep-fried Mars Bars!

[@TexJester-no8th]

@simonbarber5440 HA!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I was gonna say that I thought deep frying EVERYTHING was a Southern thing (I'm Texan), but then I remembered that much of Southern culture comes from the Scots immigrants that came over in the 1750s - so, yeah, deep fried Mars Bars would be Southern AND Scottish!!! 🤣🤣🤣🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@ssfbob456]

"Wait, so your world has plants that have specifically eveolved a chemical that causes burns, iritation, and inflamation, and you do what with it?" "Eat it for fun. I mean, the natural stuff was a little weak, so we engineered and hybridized species to make it way more potent. So yeah, all good now."

[@nightgazer1330]

Wait til they hear about alcohol, cannibus, and myshrooms.

[@BrandonSwinney-j2v]

@@nightgazer1330 just look up "humans are space orcs". you'll probably at least find a story on aliens reacting to us drinking alcohol

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

A combination of a primates robust organs, and a humans tenacity. Or dumbassery.

[@raging_aura_blaxx]

​@@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581 all of the above

[@Sinbaby-rt5pe]

@@nightgazer1330 Or cheese. Telling them we eat moldy milk

[@exsistance123]

I love the "humans are terrifying" trope in sci fi

[@quintomalley1196]

There's gotta be a species out there that's similar to us lol. Most of these sci-fi stories make us seem like f-ing gods.

[@proto-type3201]

​@@quintomalley1196yeah, I'd like a more realistic take on this trope. The one about adrenaline was really fun but everything else is really self indulgent

[@KGTiberius]

Should have brought Ghost & Reaper jerky, powdered with magic mushrooms, where the jerky was brine soaked in DMT and teriyaki, and dry smoked in THC until it became jerky. If they wanted recreational toxins, that would do it. Wasabi dip optional.

[@cleventinetheclementine195]

actually lethal

[@MrChunleewan]

Damn it, now you got my cook brain thinking...

[@hua_man]

Jeff should return the favor with a wings tasting. Heat rating from Garlic Parm to Don't Shame Your Ancestors.

[@thedarkgeneral1783]

"Just like BBQ sauce" and I knew this dudes a light weight.

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

Imagine if after all that, Jeff has a low spice tolerance, and some one with a high tolerance just pops the final dish casually

[@Silverserri]

"food had a tendency to squirm, glow or explode" "compared to Earth's chili cook-offs and dubious gas station burritos, this was just another Tuesday." I burst out laughing. Also, I'm staying the hell away from chili cook-offs and gas station burritos now. XD

[@voodoovince8001]

I could see jeff bringing pineapple to the next feast.

[@ttyngordon]

😂 pineapples bite back

[@jamesogden7756]

"Burrito on I-95" had me going. 😂😂

[@christianflores3437]

Same

[@steviemaster]

Now i want that alien to try some of the worlds' most spicy peppers "WHAT WAS THIS?" Kralix screams out, having woken up in a hospital bed with Jeff smiling next to him. "Oh, we call that the carolina reaper. I'm glad you're alive, you looked rough for a moment" jeff explains Kralix: "And you said... humanity made this? *WHY* ???" Jeff: "eh, some guys were bored and decided they wanted them that way" Kralix: "... your planet is full of insane people..."

[@nobecasz3497]

and you better pray that those crazy bunch stay grounded on that dirtball

[@TexJester-no8th]

In the late 60s, dad was a geologist for an oil company. He got transferred from Midland, Texas, to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Mom had found HOT Mexican food in New Mexico. At one point, they got invited to a potlatch dinner. Mom brought some "chili" - Ranch Style Beans with a little bit of McCormick's chili powder for flavor. She also brought some of HER chili! The poor Kanooks who tried the MILD "chili" were amazed at how hot it was!! One lady told another, "You think that's hot - you ought to try a taste of what THEY eat! But ONLY a taste!" As a long haul trucker who grew up on good Mexican food, I like to find little places like this. When I get further north, I ask which chili is hotter - and usually get that. They flutter and warn that it's "¡mucho caliente!"... I ask, "[name of state] hot, or Texas hot??" And then proceed to eat it. Generally it's not THAT hot, and it amazes the proprietors!!

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

This does have some merit. Primates have a very robust digestive system, some apes will use toxic bugs to rub venom on themselves to repel other bugs, and then eat the toxic bug. It's because of our tough insides we can eat (and enjoy) stuff captain and caffeine, which are chemicals plants used to SPECIFICALLY NOT GET EATEN. So this could happen.

[@206Zelda]

Rawlos is the best wingman a human delegate could ask for.

[@sherrykathman3309]

I see what you did there. 😂

[@raenfox]

Honestly, molten rock may be a bit much even for a human, considering it's typically between 1,300 and 2,200 °F

[@groofromtheup5719]

But saliva would cool it.

[@raenfox]

@groofromtheup5719 Not significantly. At that temperature saliva would evaporate pretty much instantly, and add scalding steam to the molten rock. Though that likely wouldn't make much difference either.

[@apveening]

Depends on what kind of rock. I have no problems with molten DHMO.

[@snakeman830]

I mean, ice is considered a rock.

[@redphantom11]

Don't worry that milk makes it all good. ;)

[@mspangs1]

Well, if the Zorvax did invade we don’t have to worry about their poisons

[@genericnamehere7602]

"We call that Thai food."

[@veronicabaillargeon5775]

Lizard man doesn't understand that for thousands of years humans have been going through things by trial and error, by asking 'what is it and can I eat it '.

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

Ah humanity. I think our thought processes is as follows "Can I f*ck it?" "Can I eat it?" "Can I kill it?" It's just like Manson said.

[@ians_mind]

Aren't birbs immune to capsaicin? Why's the birb embassador afraid of it?

[@valeriephelps8017]

They mention multiple types of poison. I’m willing to bet this dish was developed to be as poisonous as possible to as many other species as possible.

[@Crouza]

​@@valeriephelps8017 spicy food along with wasabi

[@wildcatkountry9047]

You also got stuff like nutmeg (which is mildly hallucinogenic), caffiene (which is toxic to insects), and we’re one of a very small number of species that can safely digest garlic, onions, or citrus. So not just capsaicin

[@MARSHT0MP404]

@@wildcatkountry9047oranges are poisonous?? til

[@nuclearsynapse5319]

@@wildcatkountry9047 caffeine and theobromine, both present in chocolate, are toxic to humans. It is just that through a combination of body weight and relatively fast metabolism we are not affected without relatively massive doses (a full gram of theobromine causes sweating, trembling, and severe headaches).

[@nightgazer1330]

Am I the only one who thinks its a little silly that this guy is literally just trying actual molten rock?

[@bookclubish1689]

To be fair water is also technically molten rock, so who knows what they mean by rock?

[@zephyr7242]

If you consider any crystalline solid a rock. Then caramel is molten rock.

[@immortalsoul85]

​@@bookclubish1689 pretty sure they said it was harvested from the cores of dying stars

[@davidandrew1078]

Gas Station Burritos are nothing to Gas Station Sushi.

[@Lemonar-il5ok]

You, me, gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi, of course! Uh oh! There was a ruby in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer. The sewer is full of fish. Hormy fish. You know what that means! FISH-

[@ssp4558]

ill keep saying this. sugar counters the spice. look it up.

[@waynemeyer9694]

Lemon or lime juice will calm down the hottest jalapeños or ghost peppers

[@yaroslavpanych2067]

Kralix is described to be lizard like. If so, they are not sensitive to a spices as mammals

[@GoldPrince2468]

Were they not informed of the legends Rasputin and Inigo Montoya?!

[@NoelleNaturally]

They had me at Galactic Chili Cookoff.

[@geraldfrost4710]

There was, at David's BBQ in Gainesville, Florida, a wall of lava. Various hot sauces that could be added to the meal. The goal was to sell bottles of hot sauce. How much capsaicin could one person consume? A couple drops as a taste test, ahem, dare? I'm not sure if the lava is still there; I haven't been since before covid. I have vivid memories of my son, sweat on his brow, saying, "Okay. Three drops. You first!"

[@NightclubPegasus1]

I'd like to share the reason we as humans like spice to begin with. Its because it is at this point an instinct as that which we would consider pests such as insects and scavneger rodents don't mess with spice, maintaining a cleanliness of our food and free of potential pathogens.

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

Another part is that primates actually have very robust organs. Some apes rub toxic bugs on themselves to repel other bugs, and then eat the toxic bug. Humans then being, well, both tenacious and very adventurous led to us breeding stronger and stronger natural toxins like capsaicin and caffeine, because we like pushing limits.

[@grave-d5v]

considering the amonia smell i like to think the "slime burst suprise" is just some weird gelatinous salmiac

[@jmsmaxwell]

Wait till he tries Texas Chili or some other dishes I've tried in my world travels!

[@rayrayravenclaw4385]

make sure to bring ghost pepper next time. Good story

[@canonicaltom]

Humans eat taco bell, that's probably why aliens don't talk to us.

[@ANunes06]

"On our planet, there is a species of fruit that has evolved specifically to cause a neurochemical reaction in mammals that makes them feel pain and fear." "So you must have eradicated it for the safety of your progeny, right human?" ... "Not exactly."

[@DeWin157]

Chili cookoffs and dubious gas station burritos 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@zhongli5689]

This dude has to be link from legends of Zelda. There’s no way he ate essentially lava rocks and survive

[@musewinter9369]

This was awesome but I wanna know what jeff brought

[@noahoakley339]

Takis.

[@blacktalon1607]

Humans can also eat assorted venom's and corrosive materials and be just fine. Most sodas can dissolve flesh.

[@tedcoop4392]

I think the author fails to understand that what constitutes "deadly poison" depends on the species consuming it (considering, e.g., how dogs react to chocolate, or how reindeer can consume death cap mushrooms without lasting ill effect).

[@paperip1996]

And that the delivery system into the body matters, as well as the preparation method. Most venomous toxins are more or less harmless if consumed (usually, the compounds are too large to be absorbed into the blood stream that way, though they will wreak havoc on your gut biome), and we regularly consume plant parts that would be poisonus if raw but are neutralized by cooking (Lima & kidney beans, eggplant skins, cashews, cassava, elderberries...)

[@JoserYoow]

I really enjoyed the story, but I didn't like the numerous pauses when recording felt like when someone pauses a movie every 5 minutes to go something

[@frontrider3240]

We took a plant that used a chemical to protect itself, then bred it to make more of it for fun.

[@PoopLoop202]

I tested my coworkers resiliency by microwaving limburger cheese on top of Chinese rice in a tiny break room. Safe to say they failed, as they refused to enter the room for over an hour, and even after using a ton of air freshener, they complained they could still faintly smell it. Whereas I ate the actual food in the break room with no issue whatsoever.

[@linkhyrule5087]

12:59 "A plate of molten rock" We sure Jeff isn't just Link from Age of Calamity?

[@Planet_9_or_x]

"So medium rare" got me rolling to Andromeda

[@elizabethb3436]

Ghost peppers cast iron stomach

[@sambyers7653]

Great job citing the source and original writer

[@darksentinel1191]

Laughs as I had capsaicin with my lunch.

[@NicholasJones-cq5gt]

Aliens seeing the indomitable human spirit

[@immakarma2516]

I feel like this is not only AI narrated but also AI written, or at least assisted. Not against it but it shouldn't be presented as otherwise. Also, nice concept

[@kamikeserpentail3778]

Wait...did it say he ate molten rock? I'm pretty sure most Terrans can't do that. I can, but I'm not human.

[@jansonshrock2859]

i had molten lava cake at chilis the other day! our human restaurant named chilis, a casual dining restaurant named after the source of our hot sauces

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

Yeah, that one doesn't really hold up. Maybe it just looks like molten rock, but is manageable hot, thermal wise?

[@jansonshrock2859]

@@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581 what if it was just a special kind of rock? one with a low melting point?

[@jansonshrock2859]

@@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581 like how gallium can be melted metal at room temp

[@yaemz123]

Have you ever heard of... ice? Rock, in geology terms, is any coherent aggregate of solid naturally occurring minerals. Specifically, ice is an igneous rock made of mostly water.

[@blacktalon1607]

Also I'm pretty sure that many cold blooded things cannot consume milk, so that would explain another reason why he doesn't like the idea of milk.

[@laughingaardvark3128]

Instead of hot sauce he should take coffee.

[@drogarmythosthepurpledrago581]

That'd be funny. It doesn't burn like capsaicin, but caffeine is also ment to be an insecticide toxin. "Huh, that doesn't taste like anything" *immediately collapses*

[@adabuilder6711]

So we learned most aliens are allergic to spicy foods.

[@donaldkramer7831]

Jeff Carter gets around...

[@voidghost8482]

DO NOT USE FORK FOR SOUP, THATS A SPOON FOOD YOU FOOL

[@theyaden]

Talk about poor sportsmanship lol.

[@Lyraa357]

I enjoyed the story. Very amusing.

[@jonjoreynoldsgranner7307]

Chapter 2. The hot wing challenge. See how they deal with da bomb.lol

[@spicyfoodchaser9406]

I. say the source hot sauce even spicier the labomb

[@mackenzieshoemaker4541]

Why would that wven be allowed at such an event? If the entire purpose of the banquet was peaceful diplomacy, then how would a species participating and living even be remotely allowed to cause anger? Them being mad that someone actually ate what they brought should have gotten them thrown out.

[@dustymuffinsss8879]

More than certain these are Ai written. Every one of these ive heard just feels painfully stupid if you think about it too much.

[@bearvassar6690]

Jeff should have made him eat earth's hottest peppers at the same time

[@Kellethorn]

Okay, I get hfy stories are meant to be over the top... but EATING MOLTEN ROCKS??? Puhleeeeaassseee.

[@nmartinez18]

What a lot of people in modern society forget is that humans are a predator species. We may be omnivores, but we are still otherwise apex predators. We are also pack hunters and social creatures. Facing danger and asserting dominance or showing our resilience to increase our status within the group is hardwired into our DNA. Bloody Knuckles, Mercy, or just seeing who can eat the most beanboozeled, these are all forms of bonding and competition we just do for fun or because we are bored. And that is when other people are even involved and we are not just testing our metal to ourselves. Assuming a prey species isn't from somewhere like Tuchanka, then in these stories they would very likely think we were terrifying lunatics. We derive pleasure and satisfaction from enduring pain and hardship. It's how we evolved. Alcohol is a pretty much universal form of community throughout human culture, and it is by definition a toxin. And the funny part? It's not even exclusive to humans. Elephants will bury yams and things so they will ferment and then eat them to get drunk. Our planet breeds insanity and we help it along for s***s and giggles.

[@paulweil8431]

LINK TO OG FIC?

[@tonymiller1372]

I've searched for the exact wording on google and r/hfy, nothing's coming up, it might be ai generated

[@josephjucker5620]

Earth is truly the jersey shore of the Milky Way

[@Contraltissimo]

The subtitles.... and their misspellings.... are distracting and making my eyes hurt.... I'll just read the transcript.

[@IcantStressThisEnough]

Give them the "hot chip"

[@backroomswikireader]

5:05 wait venom? that only work if comes in contacts too your blood, how does that work?

[@s0hlless]

humans show the universe of mexican, asian, and indian food. show the videos of people doing the one chip challenge and other videos of eating other spicy food challenges. show videos of chili cook offs and teach them about our scoville scale. tell them how our plants naturally werent hot enough and how we continuously breed hotter peppers.

[@TheDurid1]

26:44 AI written, but took awhile for me to be sure

[@Akiku2]

AI or not, I still enjoyed it. I'm not here for something well written, just entertaining

[@TheDurid1]

@Akiku2 If you like repetitive, circular, agenda driven stories, with a big helping of dramatically detailed vagueness while being told how to feel about it, well more power to you. But most of us get real tired of that really quick! As well as hate that r/hfy is being flooded with it.

[@Akiku2]

@ it’s not so much that, exactly. Sometimes, I just enjoy stories for how stupid they are. I mean, I enjoy the twilight series.

[@AndyCaley]

Bog roles in the fridge!!!

[@Moth_Maiden_Meggie]

My sister is from Thailand and loves to eat the spiciest things you can imagine. She would absolutely love this competition 😊😂

[@pandamaster1138]

are this stuff all originals from this channel or can you read them somewhere?

[@kairon156]

This one was quite fun to listen to. My kind of chill deplomacy.

[@marcellus5106]

what i kinda dislike in these storys is: Some alien puts up their proudest achievement, and human comes and overcomes it. then its always something like " Yeah we put our toddlers through that for fun. It never feels any kind of diplomatic for me.

[@TheGamingNekoOfficial]

Can we have an anime that follows this plot? Expands in it too?

[@robertortiz7853]

Jeff should have added Carolina Reapers to the challenge.

[@odudley29]

This was a fun, but the timing of the pauses and the lack of grammar in the subtitles made it a little difficult to immerse myself in to the story.

[@angelamaya2296]

I like his roommate

[@Snowthree]

Should get them some Grakz. See how they fair after that.

[@jacobmosovich]

That avian is a chicken lol

[@uuhhpancakes]

Tbh I’d rather eat the super spicy cuisine than literal molten rocks plucked from the hearts of stars

[@TheKatVixen]

In my head Rollos is an Avali

[@Ziggenvox]

I always wonder if underclocking old tech and running crypto or ai on them slowly is even worth it. They won't keep up with new tech but underclocking may reveal some value if measured purely cost/watt/hour

[@Bobo1806able]

I mean… there’s milk if ya can’t handle some Ghost Chili peppers if ya can’t handle it… if not, may want to avoid Cajun and African foods. Good lord those people have mastered spicy! 😋

[@DT-hb3zu]

AI is getting pretty good, but some parts were a bit immersion breaking

[@scientious]

This wasn't even a good parody.

[@berndbernd3464]

Plants do chemical warfare... humans rejoice!

[@angelamaya2296]

I would of been like where the nachos

[@skyesfury8511]

Jeff is definitely from Texas. LOL

[@ShDynasty_Comma_To_The_Top]

He did say BBQ sauce is spicy.

[@soapbox3141]

Kralix needs to visit Louisiana

[@JockJutManhwaRecap]

He should try the one chip challenge

[@DavidHeffron78]

Why don’t the just cancel the banquet if a dinner can cause war?

[@jan80trs]

"I'll have what she's having" kzbin.info1sf_JkSAy4Y

[@DatShadyGuy]

The shit Jeff took afterwards must have destroyed the toilet.

[@Capt-Bloodbeard]

What’s it going to be like coming out of Jeff

[@jackpayne451]

A culinary war *extracts pure spice chemical to use for dish* New weapon acquired