THIEF - STEALING A CLASSIC (Zero Punctuation)

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

I love how “I need to pay the rent” was a deeper and more meaningful reason for thieving

[@chadschmaltz9790]

I remember during a cutscene Garrett actually says that he took a risky job in order to be able to pay his landlord and then drops you at the start of that risky job.

[@SomeBlokeOrWhatever]

It helps that it is one of the two main reasons why people become criminals in the real world.

[@lissaquon607]

@@chadschmaltz9790 I always laugh at the "we're breaking a dude out of prison" Why? "he owes me money" welp - carry on then

[@haruhirogrimgar6047]

@@AragonBattleBorn I think it was literally in a Skyrim developer documentary that the head of the Thieves Guild Questline said he was thinking of making the quests like Thief 2 quests with the special arrows and everything but decided against it because modders would do it regardless. It really is insane to imagine how cool a game The Elder Scrolls could make if they made the stealth Thief 2, the magic Morrowind, and the Melee combat Dark Souls (or insert any predecessor game known for good melee combat.) Incredibly hard to balance sure but they had enough resources to at least make an attempt

[@Cyan-hide]

After playing Thief 2, I can confirm that Garett steals to pay rent. That’s the objective of the 2nd mission, “steal enough to pay rent”.

[@kristianj.8798]

Also, in Thief 1, during the briefing cutscene for mission 3, Down in the Bonehoard, Garrett mentions how his rent is due and his landlord is "tougher than the Hammers"

[@MoonTiger88]

"What's that, Dishonored? Never heard of it" I actually laughed at that part, well played :)

[@jonathankreitler5045]

MoonTiger same

[@Pattycake1165]

Just beat Thief 4. Very ambiguous ending but now I think I understand. I wasn't the Thief, THIEF IS REFERRING TO THE GAME DEVELOPERS FOR TAKING MY $60

[@lewisbirkett4428]

Ahaha

[@corinthian313]

now wait. My definition of "thief'' or "thievery" must differ from yours. I was always under the impression for something to be STOLEN from you, it must be taken without your knowledge or against you will. Perhaps I should re-read Merriam-Webster starting with the word "ignorant".

[@corinthian313]

Wow, I have never came across someone who is so sensitive in all my short life. To write such a slew of needless bullshit speaks volumes about someones confidence. Impressive? Yes, it is impressive how this person feels the need to sit upon the chair of self importance and cast judgment when it was I who said I should re-read a dictionary due to conflicting definitions of a word. Thunderous applause? Please oblige them, this OP really needs something in their life to make it worth waking up everyday without tears in their eyes. Now I digress and crawl back into my pit for I am clearly no match for the mighty intellectual army that is the internet throwing their two sense and rushing to the aid of a fellow 'intellectual'. Please accept my sincerest apologies for my mistake and uncouth behavior as I attempted to poke fun at one of the legions of 'fans' who would rather cry and moan because they payed money for something they CLEARLY did no research on what so ever. Now please, I anticipate a well written rebuttal and some kind of low brow insult, because well..... That's all we have isn't it? Have a disappointing night guys. XOXO

[@corinthian313]

P.S. OP, try and leave the molestation of children out of this. It may be the shit you decide to lay in, I however don't find it funny or edgy. If that's the type of game we are going to play, I'm out.

[@dakotafrattarelli4606]

J. Alcatraz "Wow, I have never came across someone who is so sensitive in all my short life. To write such a slew of needless bullshit speaks volumes about someones confidence." And then you proceed to write a slew of needless bullshit. Hurr durr durr.

[@BotGeorge]

I'm fairly sure zero punctuation is the only reason anyone watch's Escapist

[@AscorbicNomad]

At least now I can subscribe without moviebob getting some of his ego back

[@Miranox2]

Jimquisition is interesting too.

[@0Dexter00]

Go to the escapist youtube chanel and click: sort by > most popular Yep, you were right...

[@GuardianChipO]

Solution, just "like" the Zero Punctuation playlist (cause you can apparently do that on KZbin now) then check on it every now and then look for the new one

[@Starklar]

and the escapist is why i dont sub to zero punctuation

[@kyskyle6858]

"What Dishonored? Never heard of it." fucking brilliant.

[@THB192]

KysKyle Given that Dishonored is a spirtual sucessor to Thief, by many of the people who originally worked on Thief (and on Deus Ex, for that matter), it's really just going full circle at this point.

[@kyskyle6858]

yea i guess.

[@CheesyChaplin]

I love watching Zero Punctuation... he makes me spend less on games.

[@fsffda]

This is the funniest comment ive ever read.

[@drink15]

fsffda This is the funniest comment ive ever read.

[@vyor2]

drink15 fsffda *I've* not ive!

[@vyor2]

***** No, only when it actually does in fact, contain fast amounts of child urine...

[@fsffda]

***** Child urine is still child urine even if your still having fun with it

[@Solgilou]

GIVE US OUR TAFFING OUTRO BACK!!!

[@OhKyuubiHD]

"Who says the game Thief has to be about stealing things besides the dictionary?" 😂👌🏻

[@rocksteel9238]

+Kyuubi Webster doesn't know shit

[@MrVulcanator]

+Kyuubi The lacking comma makes it sound like the game is focused on stealing dictionarys and nothing else.

[@owltoe0164]

+Mr. Vulcanator hence the show's title

[@TheOneGreat]

Lovewaffle People also still think you turn a word plural by putting an apostrophe before the s.

[@EclipseHedgehog]

I wish people would stop using batman as a blueprint.

[@Nyghtking]

Batman is also not that interesting. I'm pretty sure the Mary Sue archetype applies to him because if he is involved in the story he basically becomes the most important person in the story. Thats one of the reasons I liked dark knight's metal, it's batman finally fucking up in a big way with no one to blame but himself.

[@chukyuniqul]

@@Nyghtking that's the bad batman. Because he is supposed to be that intelligent, he shouldn't engage in something that can go wrong for him, so he shouldn't punch above his weight class except when it's the only way to buy time. And some dimwits see him as an all-solving genius that can win anything with enough prep time because oh shocker stupids don't understand intelligence. So yea, if you have batman written by a sap who don't understand how intelligence works or only understands who batman is from popular culture then he's a mary sue. Otherwise? A bland paragon whose superpower is actually being reasonably smart in a world of cartoon characters.

[@Nyghtking]

@@chukyuniqul I guess but batman is usually somehow portrayed as a super genius, coming up with complex solutions to problems that apperently other ligitement super geniuses didn't come up with. It just gets annoying, i'll preface but saying if batman is involved in a story where there are other super heroes, he somehow becomes the most important character in the story, as the solution to the problem will almost always be something he comes up with. As for the whole preptime thing, people say that because it's basically true, somehow he can and will find a solution to anything if given enough time.

[@chukyuniqul]

@@Nyghtking Well in ensemble stories, individual nuance gets lost more often than not so yeah. But I do agree with you.

[@Nyghtking]

@Főfasírozó That doesn't make him a genius, in his back story it's already said he learned how to fight so being able to fight isn't a surprise, it's when he pulls off stuff like being able to discover a cure for a disease that has existed for a long time that apparently no one else in all those years has been able to figure, out or when he can out think a race of super intelligent beings, or when he can create super technology that for some reason he hasn't used for anything other then making a bat suit, security system for his cave, or a personal weapon that I call bullshit, he is basically a mary sue that always comes up with a solution to any problem, as nine times out of ten he's the one that figures out the solution even when other heroes are involved.

[@ryansullivan7265]

Favorite line from NPCs in Thief III: "You! I saw what you did, and you'll get it!"

[@AdamArchangel]

"What's, Dishonored? Never heard of it." Was waiting for a Dishonored reference xD

[@Gandoan]

The worst part? As soon as Thief fans heard that there was a game in production, they contacted the developers explaining what they wanted giving them plenty of time to design it the way it should have been. Non linear, back to the roots. 4 ways to break into a place. And they didnt listen, at all. Was all just a cash grab. Thats all.

[@Punchyzen]

I would've preferred it to be more of a steal all the expensive shit instead of a steal everyone's spoons and candle holder simulator.

[@Torguish]

Aye. It sure got a bit ''The fuck i'm taking all this crap?'' The game developers should've realized that there's a difference in terms ''kleptomaniac'' and ''master thief''.. :D

[@historicallyconfused]

Torguish definitely, more stuff like the heart of the lion would've been great

[@MrHendrix17]

Candle holders are pretty expensive and are a thief's bread and butter.

[@dlxmarks]

They were really lazy regarding the loot diversity as well. It must have been the most literate society in history given that they owned so many damn letter openers and ink wells.

[@CosmicContrarian]

Nailed it.

[@davidlewis8601]

Ermagerd I love your channel Cosmic Contrarian

[@Volvith]

Yes, they indeed nailed this series to a cross, leaving it to die in the middle of a desert, while people are still fucking praying to it as if it was some kind of child of god or whatnot, and even though you might be expecting where i'm going with this, plot twist, you're wrong, because this piece of shit game does not stand up after 3 days and brush off it's own death and just carry on with it's own business like it's just another fucking Monday morning, which would be hard to tell in the first place, thanks to this game being about as gloomy and dark as my fat uncle Jerry's sex dungeon, but no, this series is probably dead as all fucking shit, or at least should be, because, lube up; whoever created this game, and god know's i tried to google it but i'm too lazy to read through 4 or 5 different publishers and developers thanks to me having the collective attention span of a dead mosquito, *WILL* CREATE A 4TH GAME, and people will pre-order it based on the great fucking trailer and discover about the only thing great about is is the fucking fact that "insert company name here" managed to sell this piece of fermented garbage to them, while i'm just sitting here masturbating to gay midget scat horse porn while simultaneously laughing at all the cunts who thought it would be a good idea to pre-order a game in 2018 in the first place, and YES, I'VE BEEN WATCHING ZERO PUNCTUATION FOR THE LAST DAY, WHICH IS PROBABLY ABOUT A YEAR TO A NORMAL PERSON, AND WHY IS THIS PLAYLIST 500 VIDEOS LONG?!!!

[@littlefieryone2825]

Volvirth You've been doing nothing but watching Zero Punctuation. By all rights you should have elevated to a higher plane by now.

[@Montesama314]

"Why do you do that?" "Because it's what I do." "Uhh... but WHY do you do what you do? What's your motivation? Did you just stumble upon a rich guy's house one day as a kid and say, 'I bet I can take that painting'? Are you stealing to sustain a lifestyle? Are you doing it for vengeance? WHAT?" "Because... because... shut up!" "Yeah, that's what I thought."

[@nurb101]

Yes, spot on. The game is souless, without style, the graphics require smaller levels with fewer people, and they turned him into fucking batman. And I was so damn disappointed I was stealing from poor people in a complete run-down shithole of a town most of the time. I couldn't pick-pocket drugged up whores and johns in the brothel... only swipe one pair of earring and have the choice of killing everyone with an overdose. Also, none of the guards were female, which is a big shift after playing previous thief games where the city's police and guard/faction forces were both male and female. I guess knocking a woman out with a thwack across the head or putting an arrow through her face would be seen as sexist or something.

[@FoxenPiano]

I concur.

[@elagaybalus]

I''m guessing the main reason is that when all enemies are the same gender they can just swap different hairstyles and beards onto the same body to make them look different. Like in Bioshock Infinite (which is ironic considering Infinite actually had female enemies)

[@DontSigh]

"She has to wear three archetype hats because more than one female character might get dangerously diverse" Genius.

[@chocobear8777]

I feel slow cuz I don't get it :'(

[@jayparrish1]

How do you not get that? It's such a basic statement.

[@inconsolablepeasant1548]

Choco Bear He means that she switches her personality so that could fit into three different character archetypes. Yahtzee makes fun of the writers by basically saying, you could just add more than one female character if you're not going to commit to a defining personality for her. He says that might get dangerously diverse as a joke.

[@misterbadguy7325]

It's also implying that the writers are only capable of writing a handful of extremely basic archetypes when it comes to female characters, and all three of them are subordinate in some way.

[@nathanclark2424]

Mister Bad Guy And the mere thought that if a woman isn't subordinate then that means she HAS to be a lesbian

[@Wolfs0n]

The only thing actually bad about the game and I say "BAD" as in something so irritating that it bugged me to no end through out the entire run of the game was Erin. First off this game is called a reboot and what's the first thing you do in a reboot? Re-introducing everyone and thing to the new players of the franchise but still include little tidbits that show the older fanbase this is still continuing the original story. This game did nothing to welcome new players and Erin just bugs the shit out of me! There is nothing likeable about her she's arrogant, a spoiled brat and constantly trying to show off in front of her crush, you the Master Thief and is by far the most childish character in video games I've seen to date. "It means I don't kill without thought or good reason and I don't get paid for it". Fair enough that's the reasoning of a real Thief. You don't get paid to kill you get in steal valuables and get out UNSEEN! But how dose Erin respond? "So basically its alright for you to do it but not me. I see". What else can you say to her after that but, "HOW FUCKING OLD ARE YOU WOMAN"!?!?!?! You're acting like a 5 year old whose pissed at they're older brother or sister cuz they get to go down the street to a friends house on their own but you can't. Yes I get that she's suppose to be the brash thrill seeker that sees you as a father figure and is constantly trying to impress. But if it were me I could only take so much of that shit before I'd say. "You know what fuck you and your childish attitude you're a fucking moron go on and get yourself killed"! Which she managed to do in the first five minutes after her introduction. Which only pissed me off more when I had to go and try to find her. WHY!?!?! SHE WAS A LITTLE BRAT THAT DID NOTHING TO MAKE ME CARE FOR HER IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO GO LOOK FOR HER WHO CARES IF SHE'S ALIVE OR DEAD!?!?! Oh wait she was once a whore in a brothel before she ran away? HOW FUCKING ORIGINAL!!! Game was fun Erin can go to Hell and fuck that anti-climactic ending.

[@Darkseadee]

David Stoddart I haven't finished the game yet, and I'll agree Erin was annoying, but I certainly wasn't THAT angry about her, I could tell Garret generally cared about her, so while she was annoying, they're clearly close, my brother can be annoying as hell, still love him, I just dealt with her for Garret's sake, because I don't know how close they are.

[@Wolfs0n]

What pisses me off to no end is a forced romance. I haven't played the old games in awhile but I still don't ever remember her. Most likely cuz she's new making the romance unnecessary. Which also made for a lack of development and over all ruined the story at the end. That's why I'm so angry about it!

[@Darkseadee]

David Stoddart I'm pretty sure it's not a romance, closer to a father figure type relationship from what I could tell.

[@Darkseadee]

Kharn526 I just think it's an expert and his annoying careless inexperienced comrade that looks up to him type thing.

[@Wolfs0n]

darkSYNced Pfft annoying is putting it lightly. Not even 10 seconds on screen and I already hated her. -_-

[@stal2496]

thief 1 2 3 logic - you cant enter this door because its clearly blocked by these very thick bars that you can not break thief 4 logic - OI u cant go theeeereee e u just cantttt no

[@marcusshelton7441]

"Whats that, Dishonored, never heard of it" I laughed so hard

[@pieoverlord]

Hah, greatly enjoyed the advert in the end, considering only one of the features mentioned are alive and well on the Escapist.

[@ThePublicDominion]

And the guy announcing them doesn't work there anymore.

[@weeseet]

ThePublicDominion And good riddance.

[@MegaGanash]

Mr. Bossk ???????

[@weeseet]

Goku San He was not a nice man.

[@ericjiga7109]

Mr. Bossk Maybe I'm not in the loop here, what did he do exactly?

[@ssbj144]

I had a happy smile through the entire video.. Thank god there are people like Yahtzee who still remember WHAT GAMING IS ABOUT, and are not afraid to talk about it. Modern games are fucking despicable and i knew what mess this game would also become, as soon as i saw that first trailer where you stupidly sprinted your way over that bridge and a "nice" slowmotion came into help (scripted event).

[@SperryACHI]

Indeed :)

[@LightningRunner]

I thought gaming was about fun with a bit of challenge thrown in here and there.

[@ssbj144]

L1ghtningRunn3r You call it *fun* when you are being interrupted by cutscenes every 60 seconds? You call it fun when you are being pushed everywhere? For gosh sakes, when the game starts, it starts with a cutscene. When you are finally able to move around, you are in a completely linear enviroment. You cannot even fall from that first pole because it's being covered by invisiblewalls. It is so apparent to me that you started playing games in post- 2007. Just when everything started going horribly wrong. Try games like DOOM, FEAR, Legacy of Kain.. or hell, original Thief games? And maybe you can actually follow on what me and Yahtzee are talking about.

[@jahrfuhlnehm]

This game hasn't been all that well-received from other critics so Yahtzee's opinion here isn't anything special, just more angry is all.

[@K4RN4GE911]

I wish more games would say, "Get the FUCK back in there and take this seriously!" I'd like to think that the faffing about in games would be cut in half.

[@bindair_dundat]

What I learned from the guards is that "Jebediah Chokes is a right prick". But I learned it about a hundred times...

[@colonelboston]

That was one abrupt fucking ending to a video. No one cuts off Yatz...

[@lyingpancake95]

Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks graphical fidelity doesn't take precedence over *everything* else >__>

[@dilarus8231]

"Help, the police are evil and everyone's got the plague" what is this, 2020?

[@-aexc-]

I mean the police have never been decent

[@MilanousMedia]

This comment is underrated

[@randomlyentertaining8287]

At the end it's like. "Here, let me take 37 seconds to explain all about our new channels and what's on them when you guys only care which one Zero Punctuation is on."

[@AGoodGiggle]

JoeRingo118 encyclopediadramatica.se/Moviebob

[@MURPHYCHACHO]

That image of the pirate crew telling Errol Flynn to 'fuck off' will never stop being funny to me.

[@stijnvandevyver7958]

I can't believe what they did to one of my most favorite video game series and characters.

[@DarkX64]

Personally, I can't wait for a review on Titanfall. I don't have the game, but some of my friends do and they hype like it's proof that God exists in a video game. Would love nothing more for Yahtzee to rip the game to pieces like I know he will.

[@thespartanzero]

I don't have Titanfall, so I can't offer a valid opinion. But maybe there's a reason people hype it? I mean, everyone I've talked has said it's great.

[@JagCav]

I don't think he'll review it because it's multiplayer only, and Yahtzee hates multiplayer so I think it's safe to say he hates it anyway.

[@clint-webb]

vishaan singh Or maybe it's over appreciated crap that people like because they're used to bland copies of copies of games. I've played the beta, and while it's not a terrible game it's absolutely not worth the hype. It's just COD graphics with Unreal Tournament gameplay and some mechs (which aren't a refreshing concept - very much comparable to a regular powerup). That's it. Nothing new.

[@ZetaGundam336]

I don't think he's going to review titanfall, see titanfall Is multiplayer Yahtzee hates multiplayer lol

[@clint-webb]

Charles Harris Oh wow, if only that exact same comment had been made earlier! ...

[@MrNick00713]

am i the only one who hears at the end, "Hey its me oovie Bob" instead of, "Hey its me Movie Bob"

[@Coolg82]

I like how the Escapist ad at the end is only about 20% relevent now.

[@shreydesai4237]

You never fail to make my mood better. Thank you for what you do!

[@Sarged117]

I liked Thief. A lot actually. There were several missions where you couldn't just run as you couldn't be detected, I never had a problem with the sound, the hub world was good because as you got new tools new areas and more importantly treasure became available and Garrett had some nice one-liners if you went looking for them. For example in the early Jewel shop mission Garrett says different interesting things depending on what you do, how you do it and what you overhear. I was blown away on the second play through where I was trying to get everything and Garrett would talk about stuff he heard as I took my time and heard enemies talking. I still love Zero Punctuation though even if I feel he dropped the ball a little on this as I feel he probably didn't give this the chance it deserved with a nice slow playthrough where you tried to get everything. There was so much good dialogue, story, at least three different ways to do every mission or break into any house and so much unique loot to steal each with its own story. It was quite honestly the most well thought out and well planned game that I have played in a long time.

[@bindair_dundat]

The map was a joke. Every window I pried open to get in had to be pried open again when I wanted to come out. The loadings between districts were annoying, especially since they were "hidden". A lot of side missions could only be aproached in one specific way. There was a shit load of button smashing, that shouldn't even be in any video games. Garrett's witty one-liners would probably have fit better in a 90s action movie than an RPG. The weapon/tool variety was not that impressive. The enemy variety was non-existent. The story was mediocre at best.

[@FreedFenrir]

Wlarius Name one side mission that could only be done in one way. What button mashing? There was bigger weapon/tool variety than in Thief 2... The story was told int he exact same way as the prior Thiefs, and had the exact same kind of content. Your point on the map is valid (Uhg that thing needs some revamping..) I do agree the tone of Garret needed some work... Enemy variety is also something they could work on. The window prying was never really something that drew me out of the game, though YMMV. The loading is an artifact of being on the 360 and PS3, blame old tech and not the game itself.

[@SperryACHI]

Wlarius Yes :)

[@bindair_dundat]

FreedFenrir There was a side mission where you had to open doors and turn valves for a drunk man to walk across the street undisturbed to his hideout. In the Bank Heist the bank had one entrance and only one way into the safe. That is two and I don't even remember the rest so irrelevent they were. All the side missions in the "open world" city were accessable through one window or door. And I don't even want to mention the main quests that were pretty much "railways". (Especially since there was one where you actually were hooked on a railway to go though the level.) Button mashing=press E repeatedly to open windows or push planks aside. Because it is so entertaining to push the same button over and over agains to accomplish menial tasks... Dishonored had way more weapon variety. Thief only had the bat-thingie and arrows. Also Dishonored had a wide variety of enemies (guards, overseers, assassins, tallboys, witches, dogs outside cages, weepers). Thief had 2: guards and freaks. The story was lame and you could see the twist miles away from the end. As for the loadings being the fault of consoles, I don't care. As soon as they sell their games to PC audience it becomes a PC game. They could have solved the problem with a little extra polish but they chose not to.

[@EagleEyeMcFly]

Wlarius The "bat thingie" is called a blackjack. Not really important to the conversation, just thought in case you wanted to know the name of the "bat thingie." Which now thinking about it sounds like something Batman calls his penis in a porn parody.

[@Upyour5elf]

Hey Escapist, make a Zero Punctuation channel because that's the only reason we're here

[@truemetalsonic]

i was watching my mum's friend play this and i also thought it wasnt... that great. at one point they were on a roof and we descussed ways to climb along the drains and stuff (a stealth approch) but no, game wanted us to get on the ground and hammer the head of everything they passed. no stealth needed, they just killed everything in sight to no consiquence. and we were baffled that we were hearing voices in an abandoned house (now everyone, thing and other were dead) - they were outside but sounded in the room. i watched it and dont want to play it.

[@Kaalcite]

Great, now I have to resist the urge to use "taff" in general conversation.

[@jameshealy4594]

Why the taff would you resist it? ;)

[@thcioci]

Despite some serious worries, I was actually going to buy the new Thief. I knew it was impossible for it to be anywhere near as good as the original two games, but I thought it might actually amount to at least some of their awesomeness. Well, thank Yahtzee for slapping some sense back into me...

[@arj4y]

I got this game as a birthday present from my girlfriend..And yes.. It sucks.. But of course I can´t tell her that, I just have to swallow my dignity and play the fucking game to the end.

[@bp56789]

Presents suck

[@Wobniar_Noen]

i think the game looks good and im still waiting for enough money to go out and buy it

[@jubbafudgy3854]

brandon proffitt Psst, don't bother buying it it's shit. You shoot a guard with your bow, hide in a closet and he says 'Oh well, must've been nothing' while he should be struggling on the ground yelling with an arrow in his head. I would've preferred just downloading it from Pirate Bay it's worth nothing.

[@Zapinato1912]

You have my sincere pity.

[@Vermin298]

I think i'll skip this game. I want to keep my memory of Thief all perfect and untainted.

[@SperryACHI]

Likewise.

[@holben27]

Wise choice.

[@Steidemeister56]

meh the third game was already pretty mediocre. Kinda wish I never played it so I understand the sentiment

[@Hessai]

At least Thief 3 did closed the story all around. Not like this bs.

[@lapinbeau]

I hate you for your innocence. I loved the original trilogy and now because of this steaming PILE!!!!.... All I can think about is how they ruined it. :(

[@SperryACHI]

For my own part, I'm ready to forget this new 'Thief' game, and am still patiently awaiting for the release of the legitimate Thief 4 game... 4:30 Indeed, the sound in Thief: the Dark Project (released a decade ago) is much better than the new game. Especially because of the sound propagating 'room brushes', and the use of discrete ambient sounds rather than "irritating music stings'.

[@ssbj144]

I can tell you that waiting for a new Thief game is the same as i'm waiting on a new Duke Nukem game/proper DNF version. It ain't gonna happen :( Pretty sure i know why last Thief had a good soundworld. Last Thief utilized Creative Labs' EAX Advanted HD audio technology. Tech that originated from Aureal Semiconductor. Something that is also missing in modern videogames. Hardware Acceleration. Having proper soundcard to do the processing. Modern processors just aren't quite capable of doing it eventhough i manytimes hear people crying about how "they are so capable".

[@freysredwedding]

Seriously, don't mess with that outro. I love reading the mocking messages at the end and the last little bit of animation. Put the taffin' ad at the *very* end, you Escapist sots.

[@jarinthunder]

1:57 Did anyone else notice that it's just a blurred out finger?

[@stephenmilroy7041]

After watching this I immediately rushed to steam. And bought thief 1 and 2 for under a fiver. There's a lesson there....

[@quintinbenkovitz6295]

i just got thief 2 today

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

1:25 my favourite part; “If you asked Old Garrett why he stole, he’d say, “Because I need to pay rent and it’s the only thing I’m good at, so shut up and let go of your wallet.” New Garrett would (and indeed does) answer; “Because it’s what I do.” No, Garrett. It’s what you’re currently doing. Hey, Yahtzee. Why are you kicking New Garrett in the stomach? COS IT’S WHAT I’M CURRENTLY DOING!!”

[@charlesbannon6909]

Movie bob, hahaha! Thanks for the reminder guys.

[@Jaceblue04]

I'm only afraid of my own farts when they sound really low, because that's usually a sign that you just shit your pants :P

[@jasonboggs2835]

This was BY FAR the best Thief review out there! You covered all of my dislikes about this game as well as the Deadly Shadows game. While I still enjoyed Deadly Shadows because it still had the Thief genre "feel" it was incredibly claustrophobic and limited. As a long time fan and player of each every Thief game created....I hated this stupid game! On the KZbin video "Game Sins | Everything Wrong With Thief In Fifteen Minutes" they focused on all the details and not the overall failure of this game. They mentioned Garrett's eye being a different color and being able to see in the dark. They obviously aren't fans or would have known that Constantine/Trixter stole it in The Dark Project and the Hammers fabricated him the mechanical one you see now. However, the real sin of this game is that it simply ISN'T a "Thief" game. Nothing about it is familiar except Garrett's name and Basso the Box man. The city is void of Hammer's, Mechanist, and Zombies. The story line doesn't pull you in the way the first 3 games did and lacks the "Thief" feel too it. I agree about the load screens and how annoying they aren't since many of them didn't lead to anywhere exciting and speaking of exciting THAT is exactly what this game truly lacked...excitement. The first 3 games kept you wanting more. More of the story as well as the action. The story in this game was almost non-existent since you didn't really care about it to begin with because it was meaningless. I wish they would have employed writers or consultants from the first 3 games to collaborate on this one. I also hated the herky-jerky playing like every time I took down a guard with my black jack the game would freeze up for a while or if there was a lot going on in the screen shot the game would slow down and jerk around. But overall the game possessed that same lifelessness that turned me off to Dishonored. This Thief game to me has a lot of similarities to that one. As a matter of fact I quit and uninstalled this Thief game after the idiotic and endless "running through the burning city" fiasco that had nothing to do with the spirit of the Thief games. This game was soooo disappointing because so much of this game lacked what Thief fans expected which was simply...another “true” Thief game. Maybe Eidos should have focused more on the story and character development while remaining true to the genre then a bunch of lame graphics and effects that added absolutely nothing to this game. But then again...what can you expect from a bunch of Canadians. ;)

[@zeliph]

ZP, now all you need to review next is The Dark Mod. Fan-Made spiritual successor to Thief. I know you've played it! Review it!

[@LordDucky1]

I wonder if he's played some of the Thief 2 fan missions as well. Hell, T2x and the rocksbourg missions are better than the original game.

[@skymytbu7677]

Nah, he won't. he reviews only AAA titled games.

[@TonksMoriarty]

I wonder if anyone would still visit the Escapist channel if Yahtzee had his own channel like Miracle of Sound?

[@DukeChutney]

He does have his own channel. He just doesn't put Zero Punctuation videos on it.

[@TonksMoriarty]

DukeChutney I know that, I'm wondering if they were published there, would anyone visit this channel.

[@i_just_got_here]

Hi there from the future, Yahtzee just named Thief his 9th Worst Game of the Decade

[@blitzburn2871]

We should have a stealth game where we are able to freely move around furniture and loose objects and either use them as makeshift weapons, like in dead rising, throw them to create distracting noises or pile them outside a door to keep guards from leaving that room. Heck, whith decent A.I, we could distract guards by rearanging shit and leaving the guards to stop to wonder why the sofa is on top of the table.

[@blitzburn2871]

900bot Can you do that in Deus EX? I have actually never played a Deus EX.

[@Herot145]

+BlitzBurn in Thief three originals (first was 1998, Thief: The Dark Project) you could throw objects to distract guards too. you could interact with most objects (crates, bottles, plates, jars, candle holders... etc.) it was revolutionary in gaming, the Thief classics are solid immersive games and none modern game can beat it today.

[@imtoddhowardandimadeskyrim6553]

I feel like valve could make a perfect game like that

[@PernixUltor]

I played thief since I was a kid, and I really enjoy this reboot. I appreciate what they have done, appealing to the general public with easily despatchable guards, but making it difficult and rewarding for the veteran true ghost players while making it possible (with the exception of some side missions.)

[@nurb101]

It's nearly impossible to ghost here because disabling traps counts against "ghost" stats because it's "opportunist". Even using non-deadly knockouts counts towards "predator" I remained undetected in all main story missions with no knockouts but disabling traps and suspicions raised all ment I was "opportunist" all but once in an early chapter that didn't have traps. Also, anything you do before story missions counts towards your score at the end of them, meaning if you knock out a guard in a side quest or get spotted rushing between spots because you need to re-tread the same damn areas in this hub system, it counts against you when you finish the story mission. It pissed me off so I just stopped caring and bonked everyone that got in my way.

[@tinfoilslacks3750]

As a Devil May Cry fan, it's cathartic listening to Yahtzee get really passive aggressive and almost emotional over how they changed the main character in one of his favourite games right after watching his DmC review.

[@FreedFenrir]

I like this Thief, more than Thief 2... no, I am not a troll. The game is flawed, very flawed, but holds a better pace while still remaining fun. Could it use some work? Fuck yes, but I still had more fun with this than I did Thief 2, and I LIKED Thief 2.

[@sonicshot55]

You know, after hearing everyone suck up to this game, it's nice to hear someone who disagrees with it and makes sense.

[@BeachlessIsland]

Really, where do you get your reviews? I've seen about three reviews of this game and they were all pretty negative.

[@kngkunaat]

BeachlessIsland probably total buiscit's

[@SatanicBunny666]

en1mal Maybe, but I watched TB's review of Thief and about 20 minutes into it I had already come to the conclusion that the game seems to be shitty. I know TB himself gave it a more positive judgement than most, but I wouldn't say he was "sucking up" to Thief. He pointed out several flaws in the game, including the level design and that review in itself was enough to convince me that I do not want to buy Thief - not at full price at least.

[@F3LDK0CH]

go away extro man, i want my Zero punctuation closing music back

[@AdamAmbrus]

aaaaaaaaaaahh it's alright to put branding/commercials at the end of the video, but it kinda kills the usual 'fast talk with an exploding outro' dynamics. now it's just 'fast talk and then talk' :/ but hey, what do i know about videomaking.

[@drowninginthoughts]

I got thief with my graphics card...I played it a bit and then decided to never touch it again and got back to work. yeah, working is more enjoyable than this game.

[@Crazy56U]

Okay, this comment is from the latest video, but it still applies here: "Can whoever is in charge of branding at The Escapist please drop the idea of having lame subtitles for all the videos, please? If I want to know Yahtzee's or Bob Chipman's opinions I'll watch their videos. You shouldn't need to sum up their views in five words or fewer, thanks."

[@JohnSmith-zt1lz]

Yahtzee's worst game of 2014

[@TheNugettinage]

It's not the worst game of 2014, there's much worse games out there. This is just a mediocre game made worse by the fact that it ruins a franchise that many liked.

[@CrazyDustbinVids]

***** Check his 2014 Top/Bottom 5 games list

[@TheNugettinage]

Epsilonic Well yeah, he might regard it as one, I just don't agree with him for the reasons stated above.

[@angusseydel9733]

***** Can you give an example of a worse game in 2014?

[@TheNugettinage]

Angus Seydel AS: Unity.

[@STANNco]

is it bad i only go to this channel for this show?

[@flamingnija10]

Not not at all

[@glongies]

I'd say over half the escapist's subscribers are here just for this show

[@MrHendrix17]

Dirk Hardpec And now that they have three channels we'll see how true that is

[@CPCGamer]

What's bad is that people post that comment on literally every single one of these.

[@STANNco]

CPCGamer oh.. sorry man

[@ZeroHxC07]

I feel this review. Give this franchise to arkane studios eidos, and keep doing deus ex, that game was good.

[@jakedeighan]

I find it hard to believe it was the same team as Deus Ex, cuz the game doesn't feel similar at all. I'm all for the Arkane idea though

[@umega5]

Yeah, give it to the people who made another stealth game that had many of the Problems that this game had, that'll fix them problems

[@AppleBiscuits]

Arkane made Dishonored. I'm all in.

[@umega5]

Exactly.

[@somberlight]

Arcralf that's actually the problem. the problems of this game can be boiled down to this beign basically dishonored -the thief mod. color me worried.

[@BaconJets]

Doesn't feel right without the outro. But whatever Escapist do what you gotta do.

[@gronndar]

Yahtzee was on fire with this one!

[@kynaston1474]

Nice to see an honest review of this game. The other reviews seem like they've been paid off. This is one of the worst games I've ever played.

[@runescapeowns8734]

"what's that? dishonored? never heard of it" XD

[@louis922]

Thumbs if you are watching this in1286 B.C. in Egypt under the rule of Ramses II

[@blackwaltz463]

Learn Quick Oh King of kings

[@MrSpookersMcGeeThe1st]

Learn Quick Blessed be he, oh mighty pharaoh, child of Ra and bringer of the rain. Also, fucking locusts, am I right? They keep scampering off with my iTablet. And while I'm at it, when the fuck is the Escapist going to start supporting Egyptian Hieroglyphs?

[@Obsidian182]

+PewDieFaggot That wasn't an attention-seeking comment?

[@Obsidian182]

***** Ah, so it is. Curious how you keep coming to this guy's defense.

[@Obsidian182]

***** K. I don't think I want to be your friend anymore. Please, stop messaging me or I'll contact your employer and report you for harassment, Jim Carrey.

[@GeneralSanders1]

That Public service announcement at the end really spoils the shock factor usually achieved in the last sentence xD

[@mrk45]

You neglected to mention the biggest crime of all - the absence of Garrett's voice actor Stephen Russell.

[@yacabo111]

He's not kidding about the small level design, some points get so small that stealth is no longer an option

[@TheLinkedlink]

when a game comes out that yahtzee dosn't complain about,it will be the biggest masterpiece ever created

[@JakesFavorites]

Well, there was Portal. And Shadow of the Colossus was pretty awesome too. He liked those. Oh, and Silent Hill 2 was one of his other perennial favorites.

[@TheLinkedlink]

and indeed,those two games are amazing. im just saying he has stupidly high standards,even if it's for comedic purposes.

[@LordArikado]

Kool-aid master It's not that he has high standards, it's that he prefers to point out a game's flaws rather than act like a game is perfect just because it has some things he likes about it.

[@TheLinkedlink]

good point,but even still,it wouldn't hurt for him to mention something positive every once in a while,even if it takes away a bit from the funnyness of the video

[@gazclarke3618]

Kool-aid master He quite often makes positive remarks its just that you dont remember them when taken in the context of dozens of negative ones. Also case in point he loves the original two thief games.

[@Mionikoi]

Yup. When I heard they took sword fighting mechanics out I had the feeling that this game would not be as great. What do you know? It probably isn't. -.-

[@SperryACHI]

Ditto.

[@Forkez]

I have it, and I have a major issue with it. Whenever you get caught, they pull their swords and you get a pop-up saying 'Press V to dodge sword strikes'. When I did this the first time, I figured it was gonna be some bullshit escaping shenanigans like in assassin's creed - but nothing else popped up. I was stuck in a building so I ran and tried to hide, but if there's 5 guards in a house and 1 place to hide, it's like being in a Benny Hill chase scene. Now I just automatically reload whenever I get caught. It's faster and I don't miss out on anything. (Or I would, if I could bring myself to playing the game again.)

[@ThePSVFanatic]

The game is not about swordfighting, you're a thief not an assassin. I think it is a good choice to leave the swordplay out and focus on stealth instead of murdering everybody, that's what Thief's about.

[@Forkez]

ThePSVFanatic Well yeah. I was expecting thievery, not assassination. I was more annoyed about the option to dodge swordstrikes and then run around in a house being chased by 6 men, without being able to escape (crawling out a window takes a while).

[@DastardlyDistaste]

ThePSVFanatic Yes, but here's the thing. If it were a GOOD game, it would give you the option to do it anyhow. They wouldn't just say "Garret doesn't use swords because reasons." They'd let you use swords all you want, but because he's a THIEF, he'd be shite at it and you'd be punished for it.

[@TheLazarusOperation]

The Batman bit had me crying.

[@chriswhiting440]

Yahtzee - Thanks for taking another one for the team.

[@СлоГорький]

If you think that Thief 2014 sucked, have a look at Styx Master of Shadows. It is a better Thief sequel in every way imaginable, despite not being one.

[@TheFusiform]

Thank you Yatzee, thank you. This review was more than what I was hoping for.

[@fluffy-hellhound]

3:01 Modern cutting-edge graphics? The graphics are about as "cutting-edge" as a wooden dowel.

[@jaxonnobles]

This was posted back in 2014, computer graphics double every year, remember?

[@xRocketzFighterx]

I remember playing the classic thief games on the original xbox console I wasn't very good at it but I enjoyed it at least and I did get a big laugh when the guards said. "Taste my blade Taffer."

[@ABellyFullOfTea]

Give us the outro back

[@lucca6153]

Ill never forget the time I closed the door when two guards were walking past it and one of the guards teleported to the other side of the door and tryed to continue his walk cycle in the locked room

[@glitched8486]

I torrented this game and 2 mins in he says "oh well,when was the last time I paid for anything" :)

[@BLADESMYNAME]

I do love how there's an achievement that is literally just "play for x amount of hours" (can't remember how many hours) the devs basically knew it was so short

[@InkubusGames]

Makes me sad. Can at least some of them make sequel of our favorite franchise and KEEP the gameplay of original game as priority not the graphics?

[@derekcarrier4625]

XCOM, but thats the only one that comes to mind. I think the deal is that the people who remake rarely understand why the original was so great, so they change the best features, then wonder whats not right.

[@thescribeinyellow3985]

For some reason, I remember the line about putting on boots as 'put on our big boy boots and stamp and stamp and stamp'

[@Zapinato1912]

You were WAY too fucking kind to the game in this review, Yahtzee.

[@toshineon]

This pretty much sums up how I feel about almost all reboots, even the Tomb Raider one that everybody seems to love so much.

[@paradoxacres1063]

I wouldn't say people "love" the new Tomb Raider, but simply felt it was a ton of fun. It is, though. The story and dialogue are horrible (I think Totalbiscuit actually liked it, how cute of him) but the gameplay was rather fun. I'd say it was neither "overrated" nor "overhyped".

[@ryanhaney6983]

It looks great and creates a hell of an atmosphere, but the gameplay, story, and characters are severely lacking.

[@stuartconrod8364]

Oh hi Moviebob! Thanks for the reminder of when the Escapist had content that isn't Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee again in Extra Punctuation, and that other thing Yahtzee does.

[@Trepur349]

I was considering buying this game next steam sale, now instead I'm just going to play the old thief games again and assume they are more enjoyable, probably because they are

[@bobdonald1411]

2:26 "What's that? Dishonored? Never heard of it." i died xD

[@anirudhsilverking5761]

Why is he not a rapper yet?

[@wiiagent]

first time ive seen movie bob at the end of this vid, and even after seeing him, all i can still hear when i hear his vioce is dan aykroyd talking, its unavoidable!

[@thedogmaticdirector]

I was enjoying the video until MovieBob showed up at the end.

[@hannayman4448]

I still enjoyed Thief more than Dishonored. Wish I'd played the older games.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

So can we get a real thief game now?

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

I've watched this like three times before, somehow I never noticed how Garret is covered in stars and a moon after the "I am the night" joke.

[@vissenekku]

Thank you again Yahtzee! :) I can always count on you to make me lose interest in a good game

[@TheMike5125]

Where is this good game you speak of?

[@vissenekku]

Oh it works on many, better examples would be Bioware's games.

[@TheMike5125]

vissenekku I don't always agree with Yathzee but he usually has a good argument for some of the games such as this.

[@janvermaak87]

The game is fantastic, but Yahtzee has very good points about all its shortcomings and its comparison against its predecessors.

[@ZlatkoTheGod]

Yatsi Kaamrev The only good thing I found about thief 4 was that it got me to download thief 2.