Things I learnt from failed friendships with guys.

[@snehasdancejourney]

"That a Christian may not be a believer" that was TRULY a big one!

[@srivalli2000]

How

[@Mkqvtlll]

@@srivalli2000 Christians who don't really trust Christ or read the Bible and only go to church to meet people or to think that he is a good person, for example

[@NinaThomas]

“You were already valued. This person is just seeing it.” Yessss!

[@shail_ly]

Daily prayer point : Lord, take away anything or anyone thats consuming my time, love and attention more than You and my family . Draw me closer to you, Jesus. Amen.

[@vandos11]

AMEN

[@creativecatty6808]

Amen ❤️

[@shenicesmith3586]

Amen 🙏🙏🥺

[@sumaprashanthi73]

AMEN

[@annamathew3865]

Amen. 🙌🙌

[@iampanashejoy]

“Its okay to let go and not hold on to the assumption that you will be the reason they get saved” - yup. That hit me.

[@kireet459]

This hit me too, thanks for sharing it

[@boerbol9422]

As a guy I think this is all very good advice. And I would say that this applies to both males and females. I wish I could have had these insights earlier in my life. Bless everyone who's reading this!

[@rbeautybaby7789]

The lesson that stuck up with me : Seeking attention isn't healthy

[@antonialarokiaswamy5860]

Wonderful message. Thank you

[@carola6149]

This was really nice! The part where you said that ignoring a nudge from God can lead to years being wasted was so relatable to me.

[@blessvi]

You are speaking facts, girl! Tbh when I spend too much time with a guy that I seriously see only as a friend like another girl friend, he ends up having feelings for me. So I couldn't continue the closeness that we once had. It was strange. Sad but true.

[@abeykk]

A girl once said to me about her relationship with Jesus. "she said "JESUS IS MY HUSBAND "It pierced my heart....

[@winkydstanaccount5003]

Well done. Don't be anybody's emotional booty call, ladies.

[@boerbol9422]

Well said brother. Bless you.

[@kaylaberg.20]

Well said indeed.

[@mozarella4579]

hello shalom Vihan! i personally wanna thank u for making this video. i just went through a “friendship breakup” with my guy friend. he was such a nice guy. but i made a mistake same like urs. i shared too much personal things with him. we barely know each other, we just met in an event and i didn’t know who he was. but he was a really nice guy and that made me trust him so quickly, i gave ‘myself’ too easily to him. he confessed his feelings maybe aroundd 2 weeks ago(?) and i kindly rejected him. i didn’t wanna be in a relationship yet cus i’m still waiting for the ‘one’ from God, the one God prepared for me. i wanted to keep him to company me as a close friend. but 15 days after i rejected him, he already has a new girlfriend. i felt betrayed. i thought he was nice, comitted, and loyal. turns out he’s not what i thought he was. i learned that i should not give my personal stuffs to easily to someone other than God or my family. and honestly speaking, rn i’m still coping. and by watching this video i feel like i can relate to a lot of points. Thankyou for sharing and may God bless u Vihan!

[@s_r4044]

Take care Jesus is with you. Josué-Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

[@VihanDamaris]

This might make more sense if you've already seen my Emotional Boundary series 😊 linked in description. I talk there how it's possible for so much to happen without ever crossing a physical boundary! I never did cross those until now but after God taught me those incredible emotional boundaries, life has been healthy and strong since 😊

[@yvyvyvybyvyvyv345]

Amen for that 😊

[@vittoriaramondelli7746]

Thank you Vihan this has clarified so much of how I felt about this person! He keeps saying that the physical boundaries are what matters but I can see now why it felt wrong anyway. I prayed God that he could find someone else and amen this actually happened straight away. I'm heartbroken and I miss him as confident but I know that I shouldn't do this anymore and thank God for showing me the truth about me. Praise to the Lord for your gift of listening to his voice and being able to explain it to us with honesty and generosity ❤️

[@believewithyourheart5627]

What I love most about your messages is that you are not teaching, just sharing your experience from your heart. Its so helpful! A real blessing!

[@leeeyannn]

wow thank you. I loved the point "I don't need substitute boyfriends until the one who God prepared comes"

[@TheLumiiere]

Girl, your channel is awesome !!! If we don't meet each other in this side of life, I'll be really happy to meet with you in the other side of eternity.

[@josephemanuelloving4653]

Thank you 😌🙏🏼 These past few days have definitely been very emotional for me. I don’t want a repeat of past years for sure. The lesson that really stuck out to me was this one: DO things, NOT ONLY to take care of your heart, but also THE HEART OF THAT OTHER special person. One thing that God has taught me is: BE the example of what you would like to see in the other person (this is true for any kind of relationship in your life).

[@thehotcorner3337]

Thank you for sharing today. Have you ever heard of emotional adultery? It is a real thing. I had an emotional adulterous affair many years ago that almost tore my marriage apart. The heart wants what the heart wants, but we need to do all we can to protect our hearts and honor our covenants. Blessings to you and your family.

[@victorperez5598]

Very accurate. God has also confirmed this for myself, through His word and Spirit. We should be with someone who loves God like we do and then our goals and faith will be understood and shared with our spouse. Thus adding to/supporting our success in Christ first over everything. Loving God is the best way to love anyone else.

[@Adlinavi.]

Thank you so much. 🙏🏾 We as a single womans we need to be very careful with male friends, and like sister Vihan said it's not even about the obvious thing like sexual sin, but about all that time together, praying together, sharing things... oooh sisters that's dangerous!!!!! 🚨 🛑 Oh my heavenly God, how I wish I could go back and do it right, all the things and warnings that You had put in my heart. 🤦🏾‍♀️ 😣 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Prov3 🙏🏾 Amen

[@theloveofchristinternational]

Say "no" on time, and make sure you're both pursuing the same thing in this relationship.

[@ruthbopage195]

oh my gosh vihan, you are speaking about almost all the areas i'm struggling right now and i cried listening to the truth and the life you are spreading and how gently you explain and confront!! god is using you in an amazing wayyy!!!! by helping to change bad patterns

[@J10098]

"I do not need to love somebody with a committing of my heart. It says 'love as much as yourself and lay down your life for your friend' It does not mean you give your heart to another person. It means you give your heart to God and that you help your fellow human beings as God leads you"

[@thedustwhotrusts7051]

i needed this video so much. i started talking to a guy just as friends but i got too attached to him and now im sad because he started to talk to me less and less but i know its for the better even though being single can suck at times its better to stay single until the person that God has planned for you shows up. even if i need to wait a decade or two... even if i will go through hs single while all of my friends have boyfriends.

[@yvyvyvybyvyvyv345]

You are single because GOD has a greater plan for you. Keep believing in GOD.

[@rufarochikwanha4972]

This is so helpful, thank you SO much. I’d been wasting my time on dating apps because I was bored, but I didn’t realise how damaging this has been. This encouraged me to get rid of the app! ❤️

[@km7605]

Vihan, you are describing so much of my own life. I am also just like you!!! I get invested in relationships, but i too have learned so many of the same things as you! Guard my heart yesss

[@MPetrescueMusic]

My oh my, how timely... stumbling upon this has been a seemingly rather direct answer to my prayers this very day. Wow... I don't think I can list just one point even, as I felt as if I could relate to most! Thank you, thank you! You are so lovely. Bless you.

[@lisar5349]

Just finished watching. Replaying. So many good lessons. thank you for sharing

[@sonfi9788]

I was very much confused about my friendship with guys which was like as u said in the video it was with physical boundaries.. I thought it was fair.. bt it didnt and I asked God regarding dis nd he said "No" and I asked him why os it wrong to have such frndshp in which I'm not crossing limits.. and he replied to me with dis video💜

[@persilujay4994]

Timely message, for this upside down world we are living in.

[@andrewgu694]

Great video Vihan. Most important point of the video for me was witnessing you admit that it was partly your responsibility that these friendships failed.

[@VihanDamaris]

Thank you Andrew.

[@HanJo328]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this! May God bless you

[@Cloudforest811]

Girl I felt all of these. Totally agree. Praise God for helping us to learn.

[@Lalalauren1117]

Wonderful! Thank you for sharing your insights; they are so valuable. I've learned that emotional connection is typically the precursor crossed physical boundaries. "The heart is deceitful above all else..." Once our heart has latched on to something or someone, it's only natural for the body to follow.

[@chichichanchu8388]

Wow did you read my mind This was on timing I'm struggling with my friends... I was planning to enjoy valentine's with them... Thank you so much! ADVANCED HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY AND ALSO...FIRST💗

[@debby9908]

Me tooooo sister ♥ I was mind blown... It was like she read my mind 😶😭

[@prajilapoudel9998]

As a Christian it's better not to celebrate valentine it's like pagon and also nicolaitans teaching (rev 2:6)

[@winkydstanaccount5003]

Sister here sending another sister Valentine's Day love.

[@priscilladevi9705]

Well said sister. God satisfies us always therefore there is no need to rush into relationships. God will reveal the right person and he must be a believer in Christ aswell

[@afiabelleheart]

Love this !!! This was sooo needed at this very point in my life. Thanks for sharing! What really stood out to me was being a friend without giving my heart. So bring more aware of reserving my heart.

[@Sd-ns4vo]

You said it all girl !! I resonated mostly with it all since I'm so emotional haha. The part about how some Christians aren't really Christian some of us learned it the hard way lol. Love from France!!

[@ChrististhereasonLecheKoza]

"It is better to say 'no' quicker and risk a heartbreak than put off the 'no' and break both our hearts". And 3:33, Just what I needed!

[@VihanDamaris]

Hugs!

[@ChrististhereasonLecheKoza]

@@VihanDamaris Hugs!

[@sheetaljoy3752]

Such brave testimony and words sis! This is definitely great inputs that helped me check within if I giving my heart to someone no matter a friend or anyone more than God or Family ! Love u for sharing these Words of knowledge sis!🔥♥️

[@rbeautybaby7789]

The timing !! How good God is that he answers me through you. Thanks dear keep up this godly work.

[@debby9908]

3rd one is the kind of relationship which I was always having with all my guy friends... God taught me to leave that badly Co dependant "Friendship" the hard way... I felt like I had gone through a literal break up... Thank you so much for this

[@aaronmichellejackson6339]

How boldly open u r dear.... if all of us could open up..many unwanted baggages.. could be thrown away..from our minds & thereby.our bodies🌈🌈

[@-milkiex791]

This really helped! Thank you so much for creating this video!!

[@uglyduckling8332]

Who needs friends . Friends bring trouble . If people want to be friends then I do it on a distance .

[@Christwillshineonyou]

Thank you so much for making this video!! I have many guy friends in my life from post giving my life to Christ and very very much needed to hear this. I'm praying about what to do from here. Thank you sis ☆

[@thenameaboveallnames2581]

Wonderful! I’m teaching my daughters these things now. Keep speaking Gods word!!

[@eranluna.]

Wow I’m watching this late but we literally have the same situations. I wish I would have seen this two weeks ago. This made me feel better after ending many friendships

[@km7605]

This is absolutely fantastic!!!!!

[@philipsamuel9484]

Good one Vihan, much needed topic. Hope many are touched and blessed by this ,God bless

[@sarahie.k]

Idk but this video was so much needed. Love this ❤

[@annerose9158]

It definitely helped, i was kinda in similar situations but now i reserved it for the one God chose for me. You are such a big inspiration... Thanks for sharing good news with us❤️

[@mumtriborang2679]

That was amazing Vihan! It is so courageous of you to share on such a delicate topic. You did great by God's grace. You really helped me. -a sister in Christ.

[@sharonrooja]

As I opened my utube,, the first video that came up was yours. God must be speaking to me. It has helped me. Thank you. 😊

[@priscillan.7396]

She is so wise. Thank You Lord for godly encouragement from this precious daughter of Yours.

[@icicle8384]

You seem to have good taste in interior designs, this fabric of the blanket looks very high quality.

[@sheba8206]

Every single point u told happened in my life. Your words made me realise my mistakes. Thank you .

[@VihanDamaris]

Praising God! ❤️ May Jesus lead and help you according to God’s promises

[@marliesbauer2024]

Dear Vihan Thank you soo much for this. I actually had a lot of struggle with this the past time and I'm still working it out. I prayed a lot and often god didn't seem to answer. I found that i can relate to literally every single point you speak about and that helped me realise once again how much has gone wrong and how I let so much pain and damage reach my heart. The pasts weeks god showed me lots of things in my life that went wrong, and is giving me strength to do whats right. Your Video is truly a great encouragement for me. It helped a lot to hear and read of women going to the Same things. God bless you !! Greetings from Germany 💞

[@JadaLynnOfChrist]

I love this and I love your videos Vihan! Keep up the good work! God bless you :)

[@christaumuhoza7253]

WOW!! I really needed this!! Thank you sis, may God bless you abundantly ❤️

[@aishwaryasoni1542]

The whole video is just so me. I used to think so much like u. Now i know giving time and value makes all the difference. Words dont matter.

[@gracelukwesa7689]

Wisdom🙌thank you for this..I relate and needed this to make a firm decision on not entertaining guys I know have an interest in me or vice versa but know they are not the one I want to be with..in other words meet the standard,God bless you sis

[@ikejiogechi741]

Thank you Vihan😁 This video have been more than helpful. You're a blessing to world ma'am.

[@AkashSingh-zx8ev]

Thank you sister for sharing your experience. It was helpful

[@sydelle3941]

Love this Vihan! So much wisdom in 1 video!!! Also, loved the 3 different looks (younger to older Vihan) So innovative!

[@christembo5859]

Great Vid. Vihan you are very Beautiful and Anointed.

[@p.lydiafestuskanmani337]

Can totally relate with! 👍 God bless! Your content & style of delivery is unique in every aspect miss. Keep it up. God be glorified more and more in and through you! 👏👏👏👏👏❤️

[@Pris4008]

Girl, you are such a blessing!! Love your talks ❤️❤️how spiritual they are.. I find the answers for my heart's needs through your words of wisdom. May God bless you my dear 😘 I wish we could ever meet.. 💖 Much love from Andhra Pradesh!! 💕💞

[@steffiborges9392]

The Holy Spirit is really guiding you, that is why you are taking right decisions on right time. God bless you Dear sister in Christ.

[@hepzibalizzie9939]

Just wat I needed ❤️...all three lessons...thanks Vihan

[@zothilezulu4706]

I can relate to this so much and it's just what I needed to hear. Thank you for this message. We must obey the still small voice.

[@Raizer7]

Precious words. If people hear to this will be protect really protect concerning to this subject.

[@Jesutofunmiprecious]

Dear Vihan, your life has blessed me in no small way for the past few days have been watching your videos here, many of what you post here are like my life playing to me, we have so much in common...God bless you sis, will be glad to know you more This particular video is what am passing through right now...Am Precious from Nigeria

[@debby9908]

Also I used to think... I'm setting my standards too high... Which means there won't be a single person who reaches that standard... But who am I to say... Am I the judge of the hearts of all men 💕?!

[@VihanDamaris]

Thaz right! There is only one person needed. The rest will not fit.

[@debby9908]

@@VihanDamaris Amen ♥

[@MPetrescueMusic]

These were basically my very thoughts and prayers just yesterday! Nice to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. : )

[@debby9908]

@@MPetrescueMusic That's the blessing of being in the body of Christ. We are going through the same struggles . We just need to depend on Jesus and he'll help us through. Praying for all the single Christian ladies like you and me out there. We are princesses of the Most High God. We aren't setting our standards high. Let this be a consolation !!

[@debby9908]

@@VihanDamaris That's the blessing of being in the body of Christ. We are going through the same struggles . We just need to depend on Jesus and he'll help us through. Praying for all the single Christian ladies like you and me out there. We are princesses of the Most High God. We aren't setting our standards high. Let this be a consolation !!

[@NS-br5jm]

Was just asking God about this! Thank you for this video as I believe it is an answer to my prayer 🙏

[@audramiller9961]

Well said Vihan! 👏 Thanks for sharing. I pray that you find your perfect match. 💕 Many blessings and Happy Valentines to you.💕💕💕

[@chichichanchu8388]

All the things you said were all FACTS

[@Manoj-gr1wg]

It really helped me a lot.Thankyou Vihan.Thats for me.I'm going through those kind of things.I felt like God spoke to me through you.God is using you and God bless you!

[@aaliyahbadru5833]

Wow. This is good!! God bless you Vihan and everyone who watched 🤍

[@queenbeequeenb9]

Thank you vihan . Perfect timing. Thank you God 🎉

[@beulahhephzibahg2978]

Thank you so much..!! I got the solution I was searching for !! ☺️☺️☺️ God bless you 💐💐💐✨

[@elizabethsydnor8953]

Even as a 63 woman, who is single, this is extremely valuable to me!!!

[@annamathew3865]

God bless... "Always strive to be like Jesus" 🙌🙌

[@schmeagol90]

Thank you for this video. I agree with this so much, we have to be careful and guard our hearts with friendships with the opposite sex. I have an uncle who unfortunately lost his marriage because unbeknownst to him, his wife was unhappy. She started opening up to a guy at work and pouring her heart out to him, and that lead to an affair and then she just came home one day and asked for a divorce :/ seemed harmless im sure to be sharing her feelings and get comfort from someone, but that someone wasnt her husband and it certainly wasnt God. I say all that and I myself have an odd dilemma. I met my significant other in 2011 and we married in 2015. Things fell apart in 2017 when I discovered an addiction to adult content. This was hurtful to us but steps were being taken to heal from this and it was something I felt we could definitely get through..but we both definitely felt a shift. Fast forward a few months he goes on a work trip, I find weeks after his return he had gone to a gentlemens club (so out of character) he became friends with some of the dancers, sharing with them, came home and starting seeking to collect all these new friendships and even reconnect with old friendships with othrr women. I was devestated but he didnt understand. He felt he wasnt doing anything wrong and wanted me to be friends with them too. He started frequenting gentlemens clubs and said that he was evangelizing the people there and asked me to join. I refused, but it created such a dilemma in my heart.... We tried a structured separation, both of us seeing counselors, meeting with our pastor. After a few more instances I mentally and emotionally could not handle it and so I filed for divorce and left. I felt justified and everyone around me made me feel justified but my heart was bleeding and I immediately felt convicted. We had to wait 3 months before it would be finalized. I cried out to God like never before. I fasted, I prayed for an answer. Gently God revealed something to me. My own heart. I was so consumed and overwhelemed by what he was doing, what he needed to fix, where he felt short....and I remember God redirecting me to look at my own life, what ive done in all of this because I am not innocent. How I have sinned ultimately against Him. My heart broke before God, and in the midst of all of this sooooo much comfort and praise for Him cause I could feel Him pulling me closer to Him even though my heart was bleeding. it was like I could feel Him gathering me into His lap and stitching my heart. So He also answered me on what to do about divorce and He told me this wasnt a decision I had to make (cause I really had felt like as well as others telling me I had no other choice or that it was the right choice.) So He told me to go back and show love to my husband. He filled me with the love. Despite everything and everything i knew my husband was still doing I felt renewed love for him cause i had prayed to see him through Gods eyes. So I went back and told all this to my husband and told him I was going to retract the papers. This was after about a month that I had left. He was livid. He just wanted to divorce, and I couldnt understand cauae up to this point he was still making it seem he wanted to work on things. I pulled the papers becauae I felt that was right and now its been 2 years. I did try to show him love to the extent I could but it made him uncomfortable and eventually the communication just stopped. I told him that I wasnt sure i could just be friends. A few months ago he was reaching out again and wanted to be friends, and has made it clear he doesnt have those romantic feelings anymore. it was so painful for me. I coulsnt imagine just being friends and technically we are still married, tho he talks like we aren't. I feel he doesnt really want to be friends because its me necessarily, but more so he misses the attention i used to give him. I just am so confused by the whole situation honestly. I told him it was too hard to be friends, but then i wonder...am i putting up a barrier in which God could work through a friendship to restore the marriage? Perhaps i shouldnt have shared that much. My whole point was that I agree it is dangerous to have friends of the opposite sex if there are not boundaries. Even with all our struggles here I still could not confide or talk about any of this with my guy friends. I dont discuss super personal things like that because i know it can open a door, and I am definitely still in a limbo. I still consider myself married, but sometimes i feel very foolish.

[@cristalsolis3541]

Sounds like a hard situation and relationship to be in. If you are still separated I would say to continue to seek the Lord and pray for your husband. You cannot make anyone love you, because then it wouldn’t be real love of course. Focus on your relationship with Christ first, and God will help you with your situation.

[@schmeagol90]

@@cristalsolis3541 thank you. You are right and thats exactly what I have been trying to do. There have been many blessings through all of this, but it's also been confusing. We last spoke in Oct and he told me he would always love me and I would always be important to him and how he misses me but he is not in love. The rejection is hard and confusing but it reminds me of the goodness of God and how He is always faithful and never rejects me. There is no in and out of love from God to us.

[@Adlinavi.]

I'm so sorry for what is happening. I don't even know what to say sister...😔 it's a serious and delicate situation. But I can clearly see your heart, your fear and love for God, that's inspiring. And I agree that you can't force someone to love you, take care of your heart (mind) please 🙏🏾 Can you check this channel "Motivatingu2Win", I hope it blessed you. Love you F B. May God bless you and fill you with His Spirit.

[@schmeagol90]

@@Adlinavi. Thank you so much for your kind words. So much love to you 💖 God bless you! And thank you for suggesting motivatingu2win and her channel. Ive watched a couple videos already and she is amazing. I've subscribed 💛

[@cristalsolis3541]

@@schmeagol90 amen sister, yes God’s Love supersedes mans love for sure!! Praying for you ❤️

[@juliet_isnotdead]

It’s amazing how well you put this all into words. I’ve been through the same situations, but I never gave them so much thought as I did now watching your video. So thanks for sharing!! 💖

[@KeithMohr]

very good wisdom, Vihan!

[@alivethroughjesus4322]

Thank you dear sister, your sharing help me a lot. God bless you ♥

[@kyrshanmawlong62]

I'm a Guy 🤗 but I Love Watching your Video YOU'R message inspired me Alot 🙏🙏🤗🤗. Thank You So Much May God bless you More 😊😊

[@labae8728]

Needed this bcus I’m such a victim of become close friends with guys 😭

[@joeycunningham9325]

By the Grace of God you have been given wisdom beyond your years. It takes courage to be vulnerable and wisdom to give ones heart only to the one God wants him/her to be married with!! When I was younger I thought as many do that I found the one. That did not work out and I found my wife afterwards with whom I loved so much, 14 years of marriage later I love her even more!! I say this not to gloat but because despite my pride, arrogance and stubborn ways He was always there. This is because we were founded on Jesus Christ, at the beginning and so God has remembered our promises. By Gods Grace He always remembers our promises to Him. He will also keep His promises to us who are called according to His purpose!! God Bless and take care!!

[@patrickmungaimburu8039]

thanks for sharing so much wisdom wisdom never ages even after one year its still very relevant

[@kyleemichellereads]

This was such an important video!! I loooove your wisdom 🥰

[@lisajennings9603]

Thank you so much Vihan I appreciate you sharing. Wish I had seen this 😅 before all the rukus

[@VihanDamaris]

It can always help :) God bless

[@steffiborges9392]

Your every video is worth watching Dear God Bless you Abundantly Dear.

[@smithaday9225]

Protect the other person's heart ❤ ..such an important advice,!

[@swarnpriyalakra1330]

These were so true!!! Thank u for the sharing the truth 👍

[@tilynn4060]

Thank you. I find myself in this kind of situation. This is my second time being in a situation like this. Your definitely right about not being too spiritually involved with someone who isn’t your partner. Thank you for your guidance. I have a question. What should a relationship with the opposite sex like? what boundaries? ect

[@uttamsingh6785]

valid points sister Vihan god bless you

[@suchitha_]

Thanks for sharing ur experiences They're helping me alottt sis

[@cxalxo89]

So needed this! ♥️♥️♥️

[@jessepacheco7471]

God bless you Vihan, you have a great day too with your loved ones, sold out for Jesus