Things I regret buying in my twenties.

[@nadiarogo4511]

LOL vibrators do it for me, but actual "warm body" never does :D I regret spending all my money on my ex-boyfriend in my 20s. That was stupid.

[@leenanorms]

😂😂😂

[@melanie_meanders]

This is top comment/all I know going into this. I’m ready

[@doctorwholover1012]

The asexual vibes !!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 say it!!!

[@halfwaytothehill2164]

Hey fellow ace!!

[@SpaztasticSheep]

@@doctorwholover1012 gang gang

[@CocoKitty19]

I can't stop laughing at you talking about hands being washable, waterproof as well as sustainable. I mean, it's true xD

[@rachelurquhart6686]

biodegradable as well

[@itsyagirlvicku]

And they don't need charging or batteries!!

[@AnanasAbanaan]

I've recently heard hands described as "built in gloves for your bones"... I liked Leena's description better 😂

[@Littlebeth5657]

Sadly also prone to injury so not quite so reliable

[@peculiaritea]

@@rachelurquhart6686 hahahahahahahhaaha

[@anickamarie7145]

YOU CAN'T BUY THE FEELING OF BEING AN ADULT. oh wow. That one hit home. Thank you for kindly reminding me again!

[@CoJau911]

The "buying too many hobby equipments as a way to cope with the fact that i work too much" is eye opening

[@k.oseland]

For people with curly hair, it took me a while to figure out that YES - investing in a slightly more expensive haircut was so worth it. Finding someone that had mastered cutting curly hair made me feel better about my appearance and maintenance. And I only need to do it 3-4 times a year. As a thrifty person, that’s one of the things I never feel bad about spending $50ish.

[@jenniferobrien5675]

How did you find a good stylist? Every time I ask a hairdresser if they have experience/specialize with curly hair, they all say yes and then I end up with a lopsided horrible cut!

[@k.oseland]

@@jenniferobrien5675 ask them if they have experience in dry cutting! There’s no point in cutting curly hair wet. It looks completely different than when it’s dry. Also ask if they know the different types of curly hair! It also helps if you know your own type.

[@jenniferobrien5675]

@@k.oseland thank you!!

[@carolinastarlingmanne3788]

Yeeeeeees to that! Today at 29 I'm terrified by the thought of cutting my hair with someone that doesn't really know what they are doing. Apart from technique and experience, it's also important to know the aesthetic of your hair dresser. Really good ones can understand what you want, and do different styles, but it's safer if most haircuts the person does match your preffered aesthetic. "Nicer" hairstylists usually have instagram pages with their cuts (at least where I live, in Rio de Janeiro).

[@ilikeoversizedcoats1837]

I have curly hair and i havent had a haircut in ~7 years. Cutting the ends is not the only way to take care of your hair. I went from $300AUD haircuts every few months to completely cold turkey and there is NO difference for my hair as long as I take care of it

[@doctorwholover1012]

I haven’t wasted money on it, but as someone who worked in a jewellers for 7+ years; costume jewelry vs real jewelry are mostly* constructs. If you just want rings, necklaces etc to wear when you go clubbing - buy costume and don’t get pressured into getting real stuff, because if you aren’t going to invest in long-lasting daily wear pieces, it’s not worth it for the risk of losing/breaking/etc. If you’re buying items like studs, hoops etc that go into piercings, especially anything beyond the first 2 lobe piercings; you NEED to be wearing decent quality metals, or you WILL get infections, discoloration, other issues etc. if you get a piercing, you’ll either be pierced with a decent quality stud at the time, or you’ll have one put in after they’ve used the piercing tool. There is no shame in choosing the nicest pair of piercing studs, and wearing them as your Default everyday studs, and then changing them out for parties/weekends/etc. Piercing studs are designed to be worn day in, day out, all night long, etc and are designed to prevent infections etc. just make sure you give them a gentle toothbrush and soapy water scrub every 3-6mths if you wear them all the time, to avoid ear gunk buildup at the back + around the stone (if it has a stone). I’ve been wearing my original piercing studs for 12+ years at this point, and I’m going to keep wearing them until they break, and which point, I’m going to go get a few extra pairs, as I prefer sleeping in piercing studs. For the rest of the jewelry question - NO ITEM OF JEWELRY IS EVER A RESELL INVESTMENT. Jewelry, gold, stones etc NONE of those factors make an item worth buying. You will not turn a profit, and it is rare that you will break even. Just buy stuff you like because you like it and because it’s worth it to you. And don’t be afraid to bring a friend who knows jewelry with you (if you have one) when shopping, always shop in person if you can, and never be pressured into a sale if you don’t want the item. A good respectable jeweler will agree with you if you say “I’m not certain, I’m going to go and think about it, and I’ll come back later/another time”. A bad jeweler will try to lock you into a sale.

[@littlereddragon]

Love this and this is my view too! All of my pierced jewellery is titanium, surgical steel or gold plated but my party earrings that I only wear in my lobes can be any metal. My front lobes are my oldest piercings, I know they can handle fake jewellery and to be honest, costume jewellery is lighter and cheaper than spending loads on something gold/plated/vermeil when I might only wear for a handful of nights in the year. Also ear cuffs, I know that they are likely to fall off so I don't see the point in spending a lot of money on them.

[@OrangeYetti]

This so much!! I worked at a jewellery store for a while and felt like a snake-oil salesman because of their predatory sales tactics. My manager would scoff at anything that wasn't solid gold & natural gemstones. Costume jewellery is great so long as you're being safe! You can even get it replated so it doesn't go to waste once it ages a bit ^^ Also, since my lobes are extremely sensitive, I wear the same 10mm hoops all the time (can't wear studs for some reason! those 3 years after I first got pierced were hell) and can just thread earrings/charms, including with lower quality metals, on to them when I want to switch what I'm wearing. I often buy earrings and, unless they're expensive, use pliers to remove the hooks so I can just put them onto my current hoops. It's a way of wearing costume jewellery for sensitive ears!

[@supernova622]

Wait, this is really curious. I have had my first two holes pierced since middle school and I can wear pretty much anything in them without issue. I got my third holes done in college and they never really healed properly. I can only wear sterling silver or real gold, otherwise they get incredibly angry. It never made any sense to me, but I had never heard that position on the lobe affects sensitivity

[@doctorwholover1012]

@@supernova622 yep! Your cartilage is way more sensitive than your lobe, bc the lobe is mostly vestigial and the cartilage does the work of shaping, protecting, amplifying etc for your ears. Cartilage is also way easier to fck up with piercing than lobe, as lobes are squishy nothingness, a hole punched into it is just a hole - you can't really fuck it up, and unless you really work for it, it usually heals quickly + easily. Cartilage however, if you pierce it incorrectly, can SHATTER, and once that's happened, the damage can never be undone, and it can never be pierced again in that area. It also takes 3-6mths to initially heal, unlike lobes which can initally heal within 6-8 weeks (initial healing = healed enough to change studs). That's also why piercing should be avoided until age 5 - until that age most children's ears haven't grown enough to have enough lobe to pierce without risking damage to cartilage, and even when they have, the child's future growth often displaces the piercing as they grow. Ears and piercing are a bit weird and wonderful lol - I used to be a piercer at te jewellers I worked at 😅

[@Babyblue115]

I’ve had piercings in both ear lobes since I was 11. But now for some reason my right ear piercing has become infected. I don’t know why

[@samiansley5740]

Eating out. I regret buying food out when I had the choice to pack a lunch. These were not social moments of friendship bonding but social expectations that took my money.

[@samiansley5740]

Also, I recommend a fork as a whisk substitute. I’ve found it works well in separating while mixing in a way a spoon doesn’t always do for me. Maybe that can be another kitchen tool option?

[@earlofthewoods]

I convinced myself I needed "adult" clothing and bought pencil skirts and blazers (which are not my personal style AT ALL). Years later here I am in my late twenties, still in University and all of that clothing has either been donated or tucked away for some unknown occasion, all unworn. Major regrets there.

[@brittany7288]

Definitely relate. I bought so many “adult” business clothes (not my style either) right when I graduated but I’ve always worked in fairly casual offices. I only have a couple pieces for job interviews and fancy occasions now. So much money wasted.

[@kaltespopcorn4087]

Same!

[@samanthabartlett4562]

Agree on not buying kitchen appliance, BUT a fork will incorporate air in to something (the thing whisking is for) better than a wooden spoon

[@essendossev362]

yeah that one pained me a little bit. It's not that it will taste so much different like she said, it's that it will take you much less time using the right equipment. For most things, sure, you don't need an electric whisker, but at least having a basic whisk around is worth it.

[@nicks596]

And you can buy a actual whisk for about a pound or less in most supermarkets/cheap shops!

[@SpaztasticSheep]

Also like a hand whisk lol

[@MinasMagic]

I would say my biggest spending regret from my 20s is clothes...buying clothes that I was told I needed to get to look professional/grown-up/fashionable/etc. To hell with that idea! It just resulted in the daily "I don't know what to wear" dilemma, caused by everything being uncomfortable...or me just hating it. Thankfully a hysterectomy in my 30s set me free. I haven't been able to wear a "proper" waistband since, which has freed me to wear only what is comfy and therefore what I like.

[@r4.v3n]

I'm almost 22 and I feel so pressured to wear "professional" clothes :/ I really like the clothes I have, they're super comfy, in neutral colors and not super femine, which is something I don't personally like. But most women my age that I'm around wear very "grown-up" and feminine clothes, and it makes me feel weird and kinda childish? Idk. I sometimes get the urge to buy some nice professional pants or something like that but I end up not doing it bc i know I won't feel comfortable in them. That was very long, lol, sorry, just need to vent a little

[@karline6234]

Friendly reminder Leena that if someone has subtitles on, they can't see most of your text, since that's where the subtitles go. Would be nice if the text was in a different place of the screen

[@christinabartonart1072]

As a fellow vulva-owner I want to say ... I'm really impressed by how openly and confidently you spoke about your experience with vaginismus. The stigma shouldn't be there talking about your body, but i know that it is a difficult thing to mention and many people feel embarrassed. You are always so cheery and you inspire me. ✨ Idk if that was coherent

[@leenanorms]

Xxx

[@lafemmesanspseudo7840]

@@leenanorms Agree. Kudos to Leena. A full video on the subject could really help (but... not easy, probably). I actually discovered I had some kind of weird secondary vaginismus (which never happened before, at past 30) with a vibrator I bought listening to a friend who thought I had been single for too long (I know, i know...). That was quite traumatic. I learned that no, sextoys are not enjoyable for everyone at any time, as open-minded you could be (for starter the thing itself can make you feel uneasy even if chosen carefully... the batteries that can explode, the material that can fake good quality, the shape that's not very ergonomic, other people entering your intimacy while you buy...).

[@rachu816]

I’m currently in my late 20’s and something I’ve come to realize is that I shouldn’t be buying so many books.📚 I felt like I needed to have a “big adult library” - but most of the books I bought ended up being ones I wouldn’t read again or sadly didn’t even like reading the first time. I’ve learned libraries are a wonderful thing. Now, I will buy a book after I read it first from my library and know that I’d love rereading it over again. 📖

[@luiysia]

so true! also, moving tons of books is the absolute worst 😂 u will regret all your life decisions

[@360shadowmoon]

One of my big purchasing mistakes in my 20s was being a terrible meal planner. I would over-buy ingredients with the intent of cooking elaborate meals and the get lazy and 1) let the ingredients go to waste and 2) order takeout and spend even MORE money. Now in my 30s, I’m better at both portioning my ingredients, and realizing that spending an extra $2-5 for prepared ingredients to save cooking time and food at the grocery will still save me a lot down in the line from takeout costs.

[@ArtAnimeEmerly]

This video just convinced me to practise the violin I bought during lockdown. I played it for nine months then stopped, but I actually sounded okay playing it today! Buying for that specific hobby will not go to waste

[@leenanorms]

Aw that makes me so happy! Happy fiddling !!!

[@AnnaTalks-videos]

@@leenanorms especially if you don’t buy a vibrator 😂

[@danidelconte]

I would add to the point about furniture that a bit of pre-planning goes a long way. My roomies and I did get a lot of furniture second-hand/from the curb for our apartment and have enjoyed having a more comfy/personalized environment, but we made a point of pre-planning months before our move to sell what furniture we didn't plan to keep. We actually made some money doing this, but it did require the extra effort of listing the pieces and arranging pick-up times with people.

[@DeeDeeCatMom]

Vibrators that are corded instead of battery powered will save you loads and never let you down!

[@opt_out]

As someone who has always been a bit of a bodger/maker/hacker/frugal/make-do sort, I find that the desire to get the 'right' equipment for some activity -- even one I've been doing for a while -- can be a warning sign that I'm losing interest in that activity. Not always. I've had experiences like you with the sewing machine where I do something for a bit and then research and purchase something that will make that activity better or allow me to further develop skills. I have learned, though, that when I'm doing something for a while and then start to think of making a purchase, it pays to evaluate if it is an instance where I am losing interest and either can no longer justify the overhead of doing things the cheap way or want that consumerism hit. In which case, it may be best not to bother.

[@kgmcclintictock4399]

"You can not buy feeling like an adult" LOL....the truth, I would also say You can not buy a sense of control

[@kmjh4720]

Absolutely love the casual mention of vaginismus- it’s so much more common than we think and it needs to be more openly talked about 💜

[@alexispatterson9730]

I would also add nails to the list. I'd rather do my own nails and have to redo them constantly rather than go to the manicurist ever 2 weeks to pay $50+ to get them done.

[@sweettea018]

yesss. honestly, I wold add anything people tell you to get done professionally but you don't personally care yourself (eyebrows, waxing, nalis, fake lashes, etc etc etc). At least in where I live (Brazil), it's absurd how early the pressure to constantly be in a beauty salon starts. I tried it as a teen becuse everyone told me that's what women do, but I hated every secon of it

[@ElizabethNicoleSchwartz]

Agreed!! Especially if you're pretty good at it. It's a lot cheaper to just buy nail polish, even if it's a more luxury priced one than it is to constantly get them professionally done.

[@BrookeInProgress]

This! I love doing my own nails at home while listening to audiobooks/podcasts/etc. I have my own nail file, cuticle pusher & cuticle oil, and while it does take a little bit of time I find it really relaxing. I've gotten good enough at this point that I've even had people ask me where I get my nails done. I might still consider going to the salon once a year or so to treat myself to a mani/pedi, but it's just too much of a money-suck to go there constantly.

[@alexispatterson9730]

@@BrookeInProgress I also listen to podcasts and audiobooks when I do mine!! So easy when you don’t have the use of your fingers. 👏🏼

[@doctorwholover1012]

Meanwhile, I would do my ironing and laundry myself, but would rather pay someone to do my nails and dishes lmao 🤣 I find ironing peaceful and repetitive, and less stressful than doing my nails, and the monotony of doing dishes drives me crazy bc they’re sticky and gross and need to be stacked carefully etc- but laundry is typically dry and easy enough to toss and hang 👌🏻

[@sabrinabeeart]

As for makeup, powder products are usually fine to be used longer than the expiration date as long as you wash your brushes regularly and store them in a dry place. My mum used to own 20 year old blush and it was completely fine. I used it and nothing more happens than my cheeks being an appealing shade of 80s fuchsia. Cream products need to be used up more quickly because fungi and mold only grow where there is moisture, and when the preservatives weaken over time. The expiration date of powder products is really more of a "best before date" than "after two years your eyes will fall out if you use this again". I think it also has to do with the companies not being liable forever if something should happen. I personally think the focus of beauty people on expiration dates is really an excuse to buy more stuff and comfortably justify why they don't want their old stuff anymore. People didn't use to chuck out eye-shadow so frequently, that's a symptom of our hyper consumerist ~society~.

[@ChristopherDraws]

I really enjoyed this video, and made me think about my own spending habits during my twenties. I'm a pretty good home cook, so on the unnecessary kitchenware purchases, I'd advise anyone in their twenties to spend money on the following (aside from their usual cutlery and crockery): - 20-30cm blade Cook's knife or cleaver (your best friend in the kitchen, so spend here) - Additional smaller knife, serrated is good - sharpening steel/knife sharpener - chunky wood (my preference) or plastic chopping board - heavy-based saucepans, one largeish, one smallish* with well-fitting lids - frying pan* (with a lid is useful, but not essential) - wooden spoon for stirring and beating - spatula/fish slice for lifting and flipping - 1 ltr measuring jug - set of measuring spoons - buy or recycle lidded food containers, so you can refrigerate or freeze leftovers With those, you'll be able to cook well for yourself. To expand on that, you may want to get a box grater, handheld masher... But from that base, you'll begin to realise what you like cooking and where to spend your money. A lot of specialist tools just make jobs easier that can otherwise be done with a knife. I swear that the whole fad of "healthy smoothies" or juices was somehow initiated by blender manufacturers. * induction hobs are becoming so common now, it's best to get ferrous metal pans (steel or cast iron) as other materials won't function, and a flat-based wok, if you really want a wok.

[@emmtag2962]

I've been cautioned against wood cutting boards since they can hold on to bacteria? Don't know if it's true, could be a misconception, but something to consider. Otherwise yes, I agree with the list. I'd also add a slotted spoon, and I love using my blender for smoothies, sauces and curries but beyond that most of it is just to make the process faster.

[@ZoeAR97]

NIGHTS OUT WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE !!!!! you are so right and I needed to hear that thank you

[@kslaney4161]

Two things I wish I learned earlier. 1) Invest in quality shoes and undergarments. You wear them everyday, so make they might as well be as comfortable as possible. 2) Have one go-to interview outfit but wait on buying all the “adult clothes” (blazers, suits, pencil skirts) until you actually need them for the job. So many office environments have relaxed or you may not end up in a field that requires that level of formality. So if they aren’t your style, just wait until it’s actually necessary

[@nicks596]

Omgosh yes on having one very serious adult outfit and that’s it- I have a navy dress for interviews and important meetings. When I first started I thought I’d be wearing formalwear everyday, but in reality most offices you can wear just trousers and a blouse/shirt/jumper and be fine even if it’s not jeans.

[@JoyandSerenity.]

I was very lucky to be given my first sewing machine by a family friend doing a masters in fashion and costuming and she needed a more serious machine. It was a basic Brother sewing machine and she bought it for around £100, so getting it for free was amazing. It skipped stiches because she had used it so much for the first levels of her degree and it needed some serious tlc, but I could use it and learn how to sew. Now I have a £300 machine that can literally sew by itself with the push of a button. On the other hand I have piles of art supplies that I have used once... so my savvy shopping only goes so far.. :P

[@JoyandSerenity.]

With the makeup thing, most dry products are ok to be kept longer than the time on the back, its the wet ones and the ones that touch eyes/mouth than can pick up bacteria and go bad, like mascara. Obviously if you never wash your powder brushes and use them every day, you are probably putting a huge tonne of face bacteria back into your powder, so maybe get new powder every couple of months.

[@Grrranola]

I spray my powders and eyeshadow with rubbing alcohol every once in a while. Kills germs and when it dries it's never negatively affected the quality of the product.

[@stellistin]

I feel like the "makeup goes off thing" is kinda overrated. I find it really easy to tell when makeup has gone off. It smells bad or is dried out... I use my products way past the number of month stated on the packaging and even with lipsticks (once had one that smelled like wax, so I threw it out) I have never had a problem. And I have sensitive skin. I would find it incredibly wasteful to throw old makeup out because the packaging said so. Who ever uses up eyeshadow palettes? ;D

[@user-es7ui5mc1m]

@@stellistin exactly, I don't wear makeup that often, so I'd never use up any of my products if I threw them out when they "expired" and that just seems incredibly wasteful

[@fish-fingers_and_custard7685]

As someone who is not yet twenty one, I take ALL the mental notes on these videos! Thank you so much Leena xx

[@haileycloete4504]

A good luggage set! As someone who has travelled a few times, I have made the mistake of compromising quality to buy a cheaper suitcase. Which wasn't a bad thing, because that's all I could afford. But there came a time when I'm in an airport and a wheel breaks off, or I'm packing my bag and the fabric rips, or the handle jams and won't extend or collapse. Not ideal. After thinking about and planning for months, scouring the internet for good deals I finally invested in a good 3 piece luggage set which I know will last me quite a few more journeys than a cheaper option. I'm now 26 and it's one of my most treasured purchases of my adult life.

[@jorgeisamazing]

Prescription sunglasses are LIFE CHANGING! Can be super expensive but 100% would recommend

[@optimistic1996]

I would really recommend going to your local college for beauty and hair treatments! They need clients to get their assesments done, it's super cheap and they're really good (plus the teacher's supervise the whole time!) Xx

[@KaylaKasel]

This is such an interesting concept! How would you go about this? Checking the college's website, social media? Would a technical college work as well?

[@meghanjirik8543]

@Kayla I do this too and it’s great! I’m in the US, so if you aren’t I don’t know how that works, but here in the US I would look for cosmetology schools. Sometimes they are connected to tech schools, but in my experience they’ve been on their own. If you are particular about haircuts I wouldn’t recommend it as much, but if you are flexible and okay with students doing hair for a super cheap price then it’s a great route to go! You can also massages at some beauty schools as well. I got an hour long one for $30, and I get my haircut and shampooed for $13! It’s easy to tip nicely too for that price as well which is great since the students don’t get paid. This comment is super long, but hope that helps!

[@SuperDogWannabe]

In the beginning of my 20s I bought a lot of collectibles, things you get a rush finding successfully, but ultimately only look at. I do still enjoy some of these things, but with time I've realized I just have so much "stuff". I'm sentimental about what I have, and it takes time to get rid of. At the very least, I think I'd tell my younger self to declutter more often.

[@sarahtachibana1333]

5:20 sooo true and this is honestly a good video to send to older people purchasing GIFTS for people in their twenties too. Who else remembers having older relatives purchase you inappropriately fancy items to support a hobby you picked up on a whim in your 20's, and feeling super guilty--worse having THEM guilt you--for changing your interests and not using it much later?

[@silliepixie]

I like the tips about the furniture/ furnishings. Buying accessories to personalize your space is the cheapest way to go. But if you can afford furniture that collapses or breaks down for moving (like Leena's red chairs) I highly recommend it. But buying second hand or using free furniture is better that buying new, expensive, large furniture. My sister bought an enormous wrap around sofa with a sofa bed in one side and two recliners in the other. The corner piece was so large that it was always a hassle to get through any doorway. And no apartment was quite big enough for it. She moved just about every year for a few years. Such a hassle!

[@Isabell27272]

I hope your British, blushy akward feeling talking about vibrators was worth it, when u read, that this was a "Hell-Yes! Finally!"-Moment for me! Genuinely, yes to everything you said there! I never heard anyone having this opinion (and - at least in my friend group - we do not talk about sex toys and so it felt pretty lonely here in this corner). Thanks for that :D

[@KatharineOsborne]

I’m an art supplies junkie but I do occasionally use them. The act of going into an art store and browsing is in itself therapeutic (it’s the colours or something), but can get expensive. I do have a rule though that tools are okay to buy because making stuff is more satisfying than buying stuff. But yeah, if you don’t end up making something with it, then it is a waste. Also American food (educator? Critic? Influencer? Chef?) Alton Brown said never to buy a food gadget that only does one thing, which I think is a good rule to live by. (Unless it is a can opener. That’s essential.)

[@Sophia-cd2ci]

"Don't buy accessories for hobbies you don't yet have". I feel so called out.

[@hollyinhd]

For anyone who is thinking about learning to sew, hand sewing (while much slower) is just as durable, can be done with very little equipment and once you've gotten into the rhythm of it is quite meditative. If not I recommend looking at basic second hand machines, the brother ls14s do pretty much everything you need as a beginner, are very easy to get replacement parts for and are all over Facebook market place.

[@shineonsunfish]

Interesting, i would also put furniture on my list but for the opposite reason! Where I live the housing market was really accessible when I was in my 20s, and since we were married and sticking around for a while we bought our first house for like $70k - i was so excited to buy "real" furniture and spent like a grand and it all lasted basically a couple of years. They don't make furniture like they used to, and in my experience secondhand furniture from the thrift shops or FB marketplace have lasted much longer and we're much happier with, at literally 1/4 the price! This is a solid list, some of these I avoided in my 20s but I have no regrets in doing so! Also a tip for anything gadgety or kitchen equipment-y - think about if your grandma would have been able to do it, and if she would have, there's an easier way without buying the thing!

[@BirdieBirdieBirdie566]

Cheap wine can be super delicious. I have only had expensive wine maybe once or twice where I tasted any different. I have curly hair so like I spend more money on hair because if I don’t I spend more money and time on the back end trying to make my hair function. I cry less over hair. I looooove makeup. When it comes eyeshadow having fewer but much nicer palettes means I get more use out of them. Blush is a struggle. It just makes me so happy. I have more than necessary but i still manage to reel it in.

[@proudveggie]

YES THANK YOU for talking about vaginismus and sex toys. As someone who has always experienced it, the sex toy obsession that my friends went through in our early 20s was very alienating for me and I did the exact same, just spending money on stuff that I thought *should* work. An absolute waste of time and money and brain space, not for me.

[@marja2909]

In my personal case over-spendending is what I do to fill a deep, cold hole in myself, that is chronic loneliness. It isn't always that severe. But when I get especially sad I automatically try to mute that feeling by buying myself books and second-hand clothes; all of which I don't 'really need'.

[@chatnoir9038]

Hey. Are you me?

[@marja2909]

@@chatnoir9038 maybe they've sent us from the same alien planet

[@chatnoir9038]

@@marja2909 you wanna go home? 👽🛸

[@julielovesmcr]

I've done this too. I also had to go through all of it this year, and a lot of it went back to place of original purchase, either rarely worn or never read. I could reason that it was cheap, and now someone else could enjoy it, but I could have also been saving that money to save it. Note, I still totally do this, but now I think, can I regift once I'm done?

[@sanschmidt5457]

@@chatnoir9038 why does this question kinda tear out my heart in a really bitter-sweet way??

[@elseamsterdam7134]

You forgot that hands do not have te be charged! The battery is always full and ready to go

[@leanneshearsmith6117]

100% agree with the furniture point! I used to be a street furniture treasure hunter and filled my unfurnished rented house to the brim, then moved house and ended up paying a LOT for a waste removal company to take it to the tip. The money I thought I'd saved by collecting free furniture actually cost me more in the end, and I realised I'm doing other people's furniture disposal for them. Wise words Leena! Side note: can't see a link for the "FO fund" you mentioned right at the end??

[@aksez2u]

I'm confused about what the alternative would be 1. Rent a furnished apartment? (far less common than unfurnished where I live, at least) 2. Rent furniture? (way more expensive in the long run) 3. Buy fewer, nicer pieces? (Makes sense, but still have the expense and hassle factor).

[@soupytho]

@@aksez2u i am living in europe for 2-3 years from us, and i just bought the bare minimum amount of furniture. like mattress on floor instead of real bed. no couch. shelf with plastic containers for clothes instead of dresser. maybe this is what leanne and lena mean

[@DashValkyrie]

@@aksez2u I think the advice is, rather than buying new furniture that might have a perfect aesthetic or w/e, source second hand (or free) furniture and adapt it--it is doable especially with how much people throw out these days.

[@aksez2u]

@@DashValkyrie Although the video and comment specifically say NOT to load up on a bunch of "street finds" and second hand furniture. That's why I'm confused. Isn't that exactly what you have to do when you are young and in your first apartment? Anyway, not trying to be snarky, just wondering if there's a better solution 🙂.

[@albertobozzetto8939]

Leena, you can literally talk about anything and transform it into something at the same time funny and smarth, I love that of you😉👍

[@indiasinkwell4492]

"you can't buy the feeling of being an adult" wish I could of heard that before my purchase of 4 coasters for 30 quid 🥲

[@K-ch4n]

100% agree on the second-hand / used furniture thing. Somehow when I moved to my first apartment, buying used things was not "cool" and not what "serious adults do". Which is bs of course so I'm glad I didn't listen to them. Ended up living at the same rental place for 10 years now though, so I suppose I got lucky there. Can't imagine how stressful moving every 1-2 years must be!

[@MargaretPinard]

YES! You would be a great person to do a musing sort of video about DISCERNING the line between TRY SOMETHING NEW FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE and THIS ISN'T RIGHT FOR ME...which is definitely something people struggle with well out of their 20s... great Misery-mas choice, Leena 😘

[@user-em3vg6ui4g]

Moment of appreciation for the time and money, emotional energy Leenas videos have, and will, save me

[@DCalypso]

Amazing video, getting towards later 20s it's affirming to be told the things I've just started to get into my head about resisting byuing shit. The only kitchen appliance that was absolutely worth it for me was a very small 80 pound espresso machine, my housemate and I used it almost every day and saved us so much money on coffee. Also when I moved out and couldn't take it with me there was more than 3 people willing to take it off my hands. Especially now I'm on medication that means I can't have caffiene anymore it is one of the fondest things I look back on from the early pandemic era. That all being said we knew it would get that use because both of us were coffee fiends, had worked as baristas years before and missed it a bit.

[@Annie-se2qd]

For the hobbies, i recently started not buying hobby items myself but then saving it to ask for it when people want to get me things for christmas or birthdays. Solves two problems in one.

[@amessydesk9350]

Personally I like using a fork as a whisk replacement, I find it airates (not a real word, but don't have another one lol) better than a spoon, and I'm less likely to splash my bowl contents everywhere

[@minimushrooom]

aerate is a real word :)

[@alexh8716]

Came to the comments looking to see if anyone had suggested this. :) I can't imagine whisking with a spoon over a fork, but maybe Leena meant general mixing? Idk, fork whisks all the way!

[@toralundin5869]

I love the No more miserymas-series! The videos are so 'feel good' and cheerful! I keep coming back to them like a gift that keeps on giving!

[@HotClubDeParis]

When I first moved out of my parents' house in my early 20s I remember looking around the homeware section thinking of all the nice things I was going to buy myself, like new plates and a posh set of cutlery. I'm now 30 and I'm still using the plates I took to university with me as I've always had to have housemates and I move every few years. My advice would be not to buy anything until you have a home of your own (including rented homes) that you're not sharing with strangers.

[@sameeksha1460]

The intro instantly makes me so happy, I think it's the christmas-y music, reminding me it's christmas season and also daily Leena!

[@Victoriasm31]

You know how the cheap mayo and the expensive mayo are made in the same factory and are basically the same product? Well, *whispers* the expensive and cheap hairdressers all went to the same hairdressing college. Edit: Just wanted to add that this does depend on hair type (reminded of this from the comments). Hairdressers who know how to cut curly hair are like gold dust.

[@sophatt]

Re not buying things you don't think you really need/really want or use for a long time, in Leeds there's a charity which has a Library of Things, and it's pay as you feel. So excellent!

[@indiabilly]

Such a star! Making real life so much easier and make more sense for the last 10 years , you are a national treasure xx

[@Areliachocolat]

Thank you so much for existing, and being a light in the dark during my personal 20s !

[@saffodils]

i'm big on not owning too many appliances, i would recommend getting a kitchenaid stand mixer if you're doing a lot of baking: it creams butter, beats eggs, and kneads dough, among other crucial activities. you can do everything it does by hand, but the machine saves so much time and helps avoid repetitive motion injuries. i went without one for two years and lived, but every time i made a batch of cookies, i resigned myself to the fact that they wouldn't quite have the lift because i don't have the patience to get enough air into the butter. and i never did get the hang of meringue by fork.

[@quietfi123]

Oh my days, the hobbies accessories section is coming for me! I have so many art supplies for art / creative journaling. Have I journaled a single page? :/ No... but I'm trying to work up the courage to use the stuff.

[@carrieon2912]

You can do it! Maybe push yourself to do a "test" page to dip your toes in and and take some of the pressure off of starting :)

[@deenoekuekinjuhuujahaa1804]

I do agree with the furniture thing to an extend since I definitely waited too long! I had furnished apartments for too long and I finally bought sturdy, expensive cabinets for books etc this year and a dresser after not having enough storage for years. AND: You do not a large TV in a small apartment! You should also consider using furniture upcycles (painting or adding sticky decorative foil) as a way of making your space unique. And always get beautiful curtains for your main living space, you will feel like you are in a fancy place, even when you live in a small studio apartment with North-facing windows. Same goes for plants, they give a pop of color even if you can't paint the walls or put up wallpaper.

[@luke28]

Especially love that you are putting out this video in the season of buying (things we often regret, or capitalism haha), a good one for no more misery-mass ;) Loved watching this fourth installment of vlogmas! Thanks :) ps: you are an absolute hero for bringing up the last category of items!

[@Delkb89]

This is such a great a great video! In my early thirties these still resonate- Especiallllllyyyy the hobbies- and “the items I can’t confirm their quality- like wine”. Thank you for the reminders!

[@louisarhodes3881]

I've started to swap takeaways for bougie ready meals!!! they cost half as much for even a Tesco finest frozen lasagna and are often ready quicker!!!

[@nicks596]

Such a life hack! Esp as usually get takeout not because I want it especially but because I cba to cook

[@elineaa9495]

Rented accomodation always being fully (or at least partially) furnished was such a culture shock for me when I moved to the UK from Norway. In Norway you rent the space, but you bring your own stuff. Unless it's a short term let, then you might get some furniture thrown in.

[@erins3147]

Hobby stuff! Yes! I’m recently interested in sewing, yoga, and journaling, but I’m not buying anything for those activities until I make the most of what I already have (which is not much, but enough to make sure I’m ready to commit).

[@_E_m_m_a_.]

Love, respect, and appreciate you talking about vaginismus

[@katyferenczy-dakin]

This is so interesting because I've always thought of myself as a bit of an impulsive spender but trying to think of bad purchases I've made in these last 6 years of being in my 20s, I can only really think of a few pieces of clothing. Maybe I'm a better spender than I thought.

[@iisabelt]

Love the tip about furniture, invest in good bedding, quality blankets (its very common to find good knitted woolen blankets secondhand, just wash before using). And art! Posters, tapestries, nice little sculptures to hang! Society6 or supporting your artist friends!

[@marln2157]

for me it's definetly buying a lot of used vinyl without knowing, how to tell the quality of a used one... oh man, the dread! :'D

[@manouklocher1693]

Thank you for opening up about the vibrators! They don't do anything for me as well. On the opposite I get a lot of joy out of physical and emotional warmth and out of skin contact.

[@audcatz]

In terms of kitchen equipment and hobby accessories, I don't think I've heard you talk about before, - but tool libraries/libraries of things are quite common, with lots more being set up - many of which have lots of kitchen equipment you can borrow and hobby stuff. I run one in Scotland and we have so many things and we're just new - as well as DIY tools, we have a bunch of kitchen equipment from a hand blender to an ice cream machine and slow cooker, we also have tents and cocktail sets, and then like power washers and carpet cleaners...which are not hobbies but sound like things grown ups "should" have. Similar projects have sewing machines, badge makers, game consoles...

[@phedran]

Yeah I thought I had to own everything necessary to furnish a full household as soon as I moved out. And I've been paying storage for all my belongings for years as I've traveled and lived anywhere else.

[@sydneyrigsby462]

I know this was just a passing comment, but I really find that having a signature scent that you bring from place to place really makes it feel like home, no matter where you are 🤗 that's definitely a constant that I have taken throughout moving in my twenties!

[@ayellowpapercrown6750]

Number 1 actually hurts, because I still can’t make peace with the fact my rented property doesn’t feel like home and might never will. I really miss feeling at home anywhere.

[@eloiseharrison8574]

I hope one day you are somewhere that truly feels like home ❤️❤️❤️

[@ayellowpapercrown6750]

That’s so sweet thank you so much❤️

[@samd77666]

The thing about not buying something you can't judge the quality of is so so important especially with tech products. For me that's stuff like headphones or speakers where I don't actually care if the sound isn't 100% crisp or the bass isn't bass-y enough. Like it just sounds like music to me.

[@tiaraono7668]

the idea of "but will i" has changed my shopping habits so much. yes I want this thing, its super cool, but will i actually use it? actually wear it? Its hard to be real with myself especially when the answer is no. But it has saved me so much money.

[@NinaTheLudaca]

Also, the bit about not investing in stuff you cannot tell the quality of - brilliant.

[@chamomiled]

I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to move to a new place. It’s furnished and I couldn’t decide whether or not that was in the pros and the cons but I think you just convinced me it’s a pro

[@annchenvonradau4737]

I especially agree with what you said about hobbies you do not yet have... Luckily there are so many ways to avoid that! Last week I borrowed a sewing machine from my library so I can now try if I actually like sewing as much as I imagined I would 😊

[@mdkr7168]

I am HERE for these videos. Such a treat every day!!!

[@maltedmilkball2985]

lord have mercy- about that hobby accessory thing. i tried that, the whole buying down and expanding to better materials thing. and turns out you really have to know yourself on that one- because I live for the free time that hobbies take and my supplies would end up limiting what I could do, instead of actually looking into things I was able to do, I'd just never pick up the hobby. and as a result of not taking up new skills n hobbies for awhile I slipped into one of the worst depressive episodes I ever had in my life. so, if you are a solidly stubborn person where you absolutely can't replace your target project no matter what- maybe don't torture yourself and just buy the expensive hobby stuff. it can always be a nice gift to someone else if the hobby doesn't work out.

[@MargaretPinard]

SO TRUE on the furniture! And hobbies--backstitch? SAUCY! 🤣😘

[@ivajaric39]

the amount of happiness when I realized there is a video from you even on the weekend!!!! :)

[@alisonallen8658]

I halved my hairdresser bill by joining my mother for her 'old ladies' hair dresser! But she is good and best of all listens to what you want and does it!

[@piptig5327]

I go to my nan's hairdressers! They cut my hair how I like it and are affordable. Old ladies know best!!

[@alisonallen8658]

@@piptig5327 I used to be such a snob but watched as she taylored Judi Dench's cut into something that would suit my mum!

[@thelibrarybat4254]

I regret buying makeup (foundation and that type of makeup specifically) - I only started wearing it because a girl at uni told me I couldn't go on a night out without it. It never suited me and I never enjoyed putting on it. I threw all my foundation/concealer stuff out a few years ago - I still wear eyeshadow and lipstick and THAT'S IT and I'm so free because of it

[@honestlyholly7657]

i was only in rented property for 3 years of my 20s (i moved up north, bought a 3 bed house with a 3k 5% deposit in 2018) but i also regret the furniture i bought!! bc now my tastes have compllleeeeetely changed, even after only 4 years. so when people move into new long-term houses i always say try not to spend much on furniture, because i feel like you need to be somewhere for a while until you really know how you live in a place, and what furniture you need

[@k_lee_bee]

Hi! I just turned 26 and my biggest spending regret so far has been clothes (specifically from fast fashion brands such as F21 and H&M) and skincare products! The advertisment of these items is so insidious and I found it hard to resist in my early 20s once I had started earning money. Thanks in part to the 20s toolkit I've been slowly unlearning the "need" to have loads of clothes, makeup, and skincare products. I now genuinley enjoy thrifting, buying quality secondhand items that I know will last, and making my own items when I can. Also, my skincare routine is 3 products including a locally made calendula soap and my skin has never been healthier! Lena, if you're reading this, thank you!! Your toolkit has been such a help to so many people, young and old!

[@krakowska19]

I was really blessed in my student years that the Lidl had really great quality kitchen equipment at the low price, and tbh buying a sandwich toaster and Basic 'blender' was the best things I did. I bought them when my parents were still supporting me a bit more, so it wasn't a huge dent in my budget, but both are still with me (4 or 5 years for now) and they helped me a lot. Grilled cheese sandwiches and toasting wraps is a life saver when you have no time or energy to cook. And the blender had 3 parts - food processor bowl that was amazing when I was too lazy to chop onions, and also helped me a lot to make cornflakes breaded chicken, and a lot of desserts, it has a wand part for smoothies, and whisk, which was amazing when I lived with my friend, she had a waffle maker, I made whipped cream with my blender and our lives were a bit nicer for a moment. But now the Lidl quality dropped so much, we recently bought a contact grill cos we wanted something for quick dinners, and we ended up asking for a refund, cos it was awful and didn't turn on after a few uses

[@erinnorris]

i'm in my mid 20s and my furniture is still from IKEA (a bunch of it is even secondhand ikea) and it's been the best decision to wait to get "grown up" furniture - it all comes apart for easy moving, and is easy to reassemble, they will replace parts if they go missing, and I don't have to worry about things getting damaged or scratched up when moving.

[@Jasmine-tr1zs]

You absolutely clocked me with the "accessories for hobbies" in my time I thought I would pick up : calligraphy,knitting and ukulele,to name a few. I even have a DSLR camera,but that was after taking a photography course in college I really enjoyed,a pandemic later and I've barely picked it up,but I think I will get back into it again. I really would like to learn sewing,and I have an old one passed down to me from my mom. So I won't have to buy anything to learn that! Question for the masses : how long of a trial period do you/should you give yourself before investing in an accessory/equipment?

[@sanschmidt5457]

I guess you have to feel that in yout heart and check the knowledge you have about yourself and your habits. For example; I know about myself that I tend to try everything and buy lots of stuff for it and then change hobbies frequently. But I often change back after a while so I know if I buy things now and try out something new in a month, I might come backt to today's hobby in 2 months, 6 weeks, 3 years or at any given moment. Maybe buy some hobby-stock second-hand or otherwise cheaply (for example three balls of yarn and a pair of needles if you want to start knitting) and try to reach the limits of that stock, then ask yourself if you want to continue and invest more or if your curiosity about this particular hobby is satisfied. Maybe even wait a while and if your mind comes back to the thought on continuing - do it.

[@Jasmine-tr1zs]

@@sanschmidt5457 this was super helpful! I'm going to apply "going through your stock" before I embark on spending a lot on a hobby now,thank you for the insight!

[@sanschmidt5457]

@@Jasmine-tr1zs hey cool I'm really glad I could help! :)

[@samd77666]

Something I've done before is to wait until your birthday/Christmas/gift giving event and decide whether upgraded equipment would be worth it and then you can ask for it as a gift knowing you will actually use it. As for deciding whether the upgrade is worth it or not, each time you do your hobby I guess I tend to compare my enjoyment of the hobby currently with my anticipated enjoyment of the hobby with the new equipment.

[@Jasmine-tr1zs]

@@samd77666 also very helpful! Thank you,anticipated enjoyment vs current commitment seems like a fair assessment :)

[@popartjunkie]

The kitchen supplies one! I made it a rule that I only buy kitchen supplies unless i absolutely need it. I spent so much on kitchen supplies in my 20s when I didn't need any of it. Now in my 30s I dont care how cheap the item is, if i don't make/use it enough, I wont bother buying it.

[@roisinodowd4722]

For furniture it’s been easy for me to buy and sell pieces cheaply on a local student fb group. I’ll move my bed and certain items, but I’ll give inexpensive pieces away (versus deal with the hassle and expense of moving crap I don’t want)

[@melopepo]

I already know I’m going to miss this intro when vlogmas is over ☠️🕺🏻

[@VeganBeautyGirl]

Bless you for the blush, but omg I'm so relieved to hear there's someone else that doesn't love vibrators. Too late though, bought one this year which was used once + now sits in a draw neglected somewhere.

[@annikamin6914]

I so appreciate the one about vibrators because I've never heard anyone talk about it (on or offline)! Can relate!

[@samd77666]

Imo, kitchen gadgets that make tasks you already do easier are so worth it. For someone who generally hates preparing food, having one of those easy vegetable chop cutter things is a lifesaver. Or a veggie spiraliser is fun to use and im more likely to want to make zucchini noodles than chop things up in a regular way. Or a food processor so you can pulse an onion into little pieces in like 30 secs.

[@Rolerunner]

On furniture: if you do buy it, know you're committing to hiring a "man with a van" every time you move! On equipment: follow the hobby rule! I've tried baking bread this year and just haven't done it enough to warrant a bread machine. ALSO most of them will need a lot of washing up, so if you don't have a dishwasher be prepared for a sink sesh after making the food

[@caitie226]

yep! for hobbies, I need to invest time in something before I invest money. if I only love it when I’m spending money on it, then it’s not actually a satisfying hobby. plus, once you make friends who do that hobby, you can often get their second hand things as they upgrade too!

[@rachelurquhart6686]

See I'm so stingy with money that I need a things you most definitely should buy in your twenties video. I've been using a phone with an incredibly cracked screen and also glasses that don't fit me properly for about a year because I don't want to bear the expense. Also I go walking regularly and don't have the proper shoes for it. Can a proper adult please just tell me to go and buy the things I need...

[@CecilyaKitty]

30-year old here: Please go and buy at least the glasses! Like Leena said, this is a medical device and not using one that fits your body can actually harm you. Do it. It's money well spent. Glasses last for quite some time. ;)

[@SilverScale.]

Definitely do the glasses one and the shoes one. On both counts, you'll be more comfortable and save your body trouble down the line. With the wrong shoes you can get back pain, knee pain, and stress fractures in your feet from putting weight on them repeatedly without proper support.