THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER APOLOGISE FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE

Apologising is a significant aspect of personal growth and nurturing healthy relationships. It is crucial to acknowledge and take responsibility for our mistakes, as it demonstrates empathy and a genuine desire to make amends.
However, amidst this understanding, there are certain situations where offering apologies should not be deemed necessary or appropriate, both in relationships and in life as a whole.
Below are things we believe you should never apologise for in a relationship, marriage or life in general:
1. Expressing your feelings
2. How you look
3. Pursuing your Dreams and Goals
4. Standing up for yourself - no to bullying and intimidation
5. Taking time to yourself
6. Not knowing something
7. Disagreeing or having a different opinion
8. For your past
#apologise #themakhs #relationships #marriage
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[@lwandlemadinda]

My addition would be: NEVER apologize for having a past. You should not have to apologize for being who you were and for decisions that you have healed from - BEFORE YOU MET YOUR PARTNER OR BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED.

[@forexsigna-m1j]

A very GOOD POINT. Stop it I like it ❤🎉

[@sunnyhunn9315]

Hmm it depends what kind of decisions you’ve made before meeting your spouse, I think it’s healthy to show remorse depending what you did, the past is the past yes but when you’re inviting another person into your life it’s wise to express how you could’ve done things differently and the both of you can have that moment where the growth is celebrated together. There are different ways to do things, wisdom is important and if the person is someone who’s mature and sincerely loves you beyond anything you’ve experienced and done (especially if it’s something that can have an impact on your marriage / something that can help you bond healthier and better if you’re transparent and repentant) they won’t hold anything against you and further injure you with it.

[@dineomothlele2192]

Oh I love this! We often beat ourselves up for our “past”… it was a part of our journey. It moulded who we are.

[@sivmdingi8950]

Love love love this comment. You are 100% spot on! As a Xhosa we say uy'tye yonke💯😊

[@TheMakhs]

Love the part where you mention healing. It’s such an important part of also forgiving oneself.

[@letshegomancoe4481]

The word of God says husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As I listened to the conversation, it's clear that Lerato loves Pheto as she is. He just let her be, and with time, she grew into the woman she is. Christ's love is not forceful or critical. He meets us where we are. He loves us into a better version of ourselves. Thanks, guys. Marriage is beautiful.

[@TheMakhs]

Lerato is also gifted with a spirit of patience. Something that God has had to work in me in our marriage❤️

[@natashashapolamwamba5683]

Honestly this comment is gold!

[@nthabisengmasilo1264]

When Lerato starts with “ It’s a tricky one” I start to listen attentively 😅

[@TheMakhs]

You know he’s about to drop gems😂

[@marvelousmbali8002]

Same I actually spend 80% on my own in my room it doesn’t matter I’m happy or sad I just get I’m my own space and I sit, talk alone,sing, remember funny things then laugh, sleep….I just love me time and

[@keolebilemmoke60]

You are me

[@chdhc6478]

I’m here as one of the gents. You are not alone abhuti 😂😂 you are right. A man’s confidence/pride comes from his ability to provide for his family through the career he chooses

[@earningelegance]

Yeah neh. I’m getting used to that from my hubby

[@TheMakhs]

Dumela abuti! We love seeing the gents in the comment section ❤😅

[@chumamajova5503]

The vulnerability shown here is out of this world! Thank Sis Petola for being a safe space for your husband♥️the black and white part was beautiful to watch♥️

[@jemimahshomkegh]

It was...

[@TheMakhs]

Thank you sis❤

[@zikomokaliwo4977]

Lerato is the man among men. The way he admits his mistakes and apologises is worth appreciating. i wish more men could hear your wisdom.

[@linnetzienge3536]

l was actually having a conversation this afternoon with a fellow co-worker. As women we get judged for retaining our individuality in relationships ,standing our ground and having a voice.

[@leratomolaoa3819]

Wooooow The Makhs....you are the best guys

[@TheMakhs]

All the time!

[@natashashapolamwamba5683]

I had to pause at 26mins and literally laugh out loud😂😂😂😂"just call me Baba then I will get the memo". I think one universal weakness we women have is expecting men to "just know", honestly men are willing to do the right thing if only we told them. In fact in their minds they are doing the right thing that's why they retaliate when we react aggressively. Someone once said " men read newspapers not minds,tell us!". This installment was breeze thank you.

[@saneliswamagagula9781]

“I feel like I’m saying something for the sake of saying something” is so real. If more people applied this in conversations it would save relationships too. Make it an episode😂

[@TheMakhs]

Listen! 😂… we do this sometimes right?!

[@GrowingWithM]

I see a lot of Phetola in me, we are very principled, have defined boundaries and have expectations about the "right" way to do things..but I also see things from a different perspective whenever Mr Makhs comments on the different "issues" 😂brought up. This nuance is very helpful, its shaping my ideas around relationships ... also to give grace/understanding to people that are not exactly like me.This is a true ministry- Thank you

[@siyamtolo6733]

Same I always feel like she's talking about me when she talks about how she used to show up and how she shows up now. Mr Makhs also helps me see a different perspective to things.

[@TheMakhs]

Yoo I’ve had to also do a lot of growing up in marriage sus🙆🏾‍♀️😂. One thing I can say though is I’m grateful at how my perspective has changed❤

[@uanoo_k]

“When you forgive yourself, you release yourself”🙌🏾

[@kabelontobo303]

We do comment guys, empa when you don't acknowledge us, rea tlohela. Truth is your channel is a breath of fresh air, especially for young married Christian men and women. I share your channel/content a lot on FB and via whatsapp with some of my brothers who I feel can benefit from what you guys share and in the manner that you do it that's always Christ centered. I might be going through a divorce but I still have hope for a great married life in the future and that's partly due to watching you guys, hore no man "this thing is possible." So keep on with the good work guys. We appreciate you. 🙏🏾 👊🏾

[@TheMakhs]

Hey fam. We love the comments and do read all of the them. The reality is we sometimes can’t answer every single one due to the volume. The comments aren’t just for us also but for this community. We are all learning from each other and growing. Please don’t tire from commenting, it might help someone❤.. thank you sharing with your loved ones, for encouraging and affirming us❤

[@mberiikaturota6483]

Please tell me why I laughed so loud with Lerato about Wendy Williams 😂😂😂😂😂 Also, I'm also representing the gents! Great installment as always Mr and Mrs Makhs. Love from Namibia 🇳🇦

[@karabobatshwenyi1101]

I think you are the first guy I've seen in the comment section 😂😂

[@mberiikaturota6483]

There are quite a few of us actually 😅

[@karabobatshwenyi1101]

Yeah I noticed 😂

[@TheMakhs]

No guys😂😂😂😂

[@LM-he7eb]

I'm with Lerato when it comes to point 3. I've had my dreams & goals since I was a child & want to dedicate 15hrs a day pursuing them. I'm hoping my partner is somewhere pursuing his dreams 15hrs a day too. Once we are fulfilled with our dreams, then we can pursue each other vigorously. Anything that stands in the way of my dreams is my enermy

[@TheMakhs]

Oooh this is tricky though. Can we not find a balance? Relationships need to be nurtured too. If 15 hours is spent on pursuing your dreams, when do you pursue each other?

[@LM-he7eb]

@@TheMakhs It does leave the relationship unnurtured. I hope for an understanding partner, that'll wait. I don't expect the my dreams to be understanding & wait

[@tshepocindi5999]

Those dreams might also take too much time as they have to be maintained, look at celebrities hw every family member was so busy around them accomplishing goals when they are no more. They hv to find their path....MJ is no more...Whitney is no more.. @@LM-he7eb

[@palesamatabane3138]

"The motivation is you." I love that!

[@kingdomgirlsarise]

Please don't forget to watch the Ads my people 🥰🥰❤️that's the least we can do for the Makhs

[@TheMakhs]

Thank you family! ❤

[@gbngcobo]

The last part has to be the highlight for me. I can't believe Lerato gave us a lot of nuggets after going through a terrible brain freeze. And how Phetola was so patient and looked at him with eyes full of love and compassion. You guys are amazing. Once again, it was a great instalment! Thank you.

[@ivymutambanengwe2136]

Forgive yourself!!!!!Beautiful conversation, highly illuminating especially about husbands faking it because of the pressure to know. Mental health problems in men is real, oh dear, the pressure is real!

[@materenemolaoa1752]

Lerato you’re me in relation to loving my personal time. I’ve always thought I’m more likely to struggle in marriage. I love being alone so much! 😭 I’ll take my future husband to this episode to help him understand me.

[@TheMakhs]

Yes bring him here! 😂❤. Hopefully you’re also able to strike a balance when you do get married❤

[@prelenahona]

I am also that person and overtime your partner gets to understand and love you through it. In the beginning I didn't understand what was happening to me. I would quickly meet that desire with "it is wrong, I should not feel this way". A lot of it was driven by the fact that I'd see other couples and there would not be one second that they'd want to be from each other. The other part was the fact that this was/is my first serious relationship and I didn't want to get the little things wrong. From these reasons, I resorted to lying. "Babe I've got to go, I have one, two and three to do" when I just wanted to be by myself and just get lost in that. Eventually he noticed and reassured me that it wasn't wrong. Agg, when love finds you ♥️ it is the most beautiful experience. 5 years in and I really love it here.

[@siyamtolo6733]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Lerato and I arent making heaven for laughing like that on the Wendy topic.😂😂😂😂

[@TheMakhs]

Listen!! 😂😂😂

[@siviwemapekula1689]

😂😂😂Me too

[@TheZuluSamurai1]

The self-awareness in both of you is unmatched! Talk about evolving and growing together. Nginishayela izandla..

[@TheMakhs]

You’re so kind. Thank you❤

[@Kamogelo_PhD]

I appreciate these chats so much because I am Phetola in every situation and I'm learning more about how men think through Lerato because he is a lot like my husband.

[@TheMakhs]

It’s quite refreshing to actually hear what men want right? Often we misunderstand them because they can’t quite express how they feel.

[@shamiso_t]

The blooper at the end is hilarious and yet soo real 😂😭

[@MissCombs1511]

Yoh the "time alone" part! I'm misunderstood as an introvert because I'm conversational. But I neeeeeeddddd time for self cav! My mind works non-stop, in a loud world. I need lots of alone time.

[@boitumelomdladla]

I forgive myself for my past. I'm not proud but GOD restores! ❤😊

[@latse670]

The inserting of song lyrics, just finished me more😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀

[@TheMafumo]

Forgive yourself!!! Got my mom hooked to this podcast, 🤣

[@kealebogamalejane8705]

Lerato's intellect & Phetola's laughter 🤩 This is it. I perceive it took work to get here but I love how you guys just gel. Its incredible.

[@ayeshahossan1728]

don't apologize for standing up for urself I like that one Mrs makhs

[@LM-he7eb]

This is a big one, especially when it comes to in-laws. They'll abuse you, and you'll be told to withstand it NXA

[@4thegrandkidsIdonthave]

FORGIVE YOURSELF! Quietly asserting yourself!....loved that👌👌I'm the same. I totally agree with the disagreeing part opening one up to other possibilities, the trick is to do it graciously. Weaponizing another's past creates distrust. Exhaustion does sometimes create difficulty in processing thoughts, rest Mr Makhs! You guys are the real deal❤

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@kholofelohope3540]

The black and white part❤. Its okay guys, it happens to most of us. Loved your response Pheto ❤

[@TheMakhs]

Shame Mr Makhs😢❤

[@marvelousmbali8002]

Yes thank you Mr M I always ALWAYS even yesterday I told my aunt ukuthi she offended me and I feel 123 she was like Mara it wasn’t me necessary for you to feel that way I was like haibo I didn’t decide to make my heart feel that way it naturally happened then she said well it’s wrong like my family disagree with me a lot when it comes to that it ends up being an argument

[@nandembuke1836]

Forgive yourself, Release yourself ❤

[@neotau9535]

Lerato the way you draw in the man you were in that dating phase,to transition of marriage and now your a dad and a husband makes this conversation relatable and pinpoints "self tcav"

[@harveymakgakga]

26:50 Preach!!!!😢 .... sometimes we just don't know and we can't say, so we suffer the pressure of having to know and having solutions to issues that are beyond our measure.

[@koversbykuda1614]

Also the black and white clip. So many emotions 🙌🏾❤️

[@latse670]

Forgive yourself ❤️loved this!!

[@thobekavuyiswa878]

Zixolele❤ Thank you so much fam, we are learning a LOT from you guys. May the good Lord continue to bless you❤️ We appreciate y'all so much!

[@JChristUp]

Forgive yourself ❤ Thank you fam! Ya'll are doing the Lord's work 🙌🏾 🙏🏽

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@koversbykuda1614]

Thank you for this conversation. It has shed a lot of light on a situation I’m currently dealing with. ❤️❤️❤️

[@sibongisenisakhele3114]

Wholesomeness! Thanks for the installment. So Good!

[@Refentse04]

Thanks for another great instalment the Makhs. Oh and please, forgive yourself ❤

[@user-to1ov7qp8p]

Mr Makhs wisdom galore

[@noluvuyogloriangesi4516]

Forgive yourself, thanks for the lovely episode ❤

[@accoucher0]

Forgive yourself❤️☺️🙌🏻 Loved every part of this

[@minkz002]

29:36 aaaah Lerato 👏🏼 such an important point you’ve made here man. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I completely hear you. Thank you so much for articulating something that a lot of men go through and might not know how to navigate or communicate. 💯

[@TheMakhs]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@Remza-Luv]

Why did the rewind make me so sad? 😢Mr Makhs are you ohk? I want to take this moment and S/O to you for showing men what being vulnerable with your partner looks like, what communicating with your partner looks like, what emotional intelligence means, and what being emotionally present looks like... not many men have this on lock, and I belive that they could learn from you, that the ability to be all those things actually makes you more masculine than the not...I feel that men tend to translate emotion as feminine... thank you for breaking that narrative. You're wife is blessed and your girls will definitely know what men not to settle for...especially when there not willing to unlearn...❤❤❤

[@clarence493]

Going to watch this with my personal person ❤

[@khanyih9245]

Do The Work 🙏🏾🙏🏾 FOR YOURSELF ❤

[@marvelousmbali8002]

When he laughs he makes sure 😂😂😂😂😂😂 eh you will get hurt by that silent laughter shuuu 💀💀💀 and watch his eyes goes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 they must do that eyes emoji

[@lindacwayi]

the last bits genuinly so funny I love you guys so much

[@accoucher0]

It’s okay🥺 Everyone go through that sometimes. Peace

[@TheXperience_ZA]

I love how you make your wife laugh, with such minimal effort. Beautiful to watch ❤

[@ntombizonkentuli3770]

A very healthy conversation you'll just had, it was soooo interesting to watch. Loved it, thank you for sharing with us that it's OK to disagree on something BUT don't be rude when expressing that opinion. Thank you the Makhs❤,

[@theegorgeousgift]

You guys ❤❤ This are tools for building healthy relationship....wisdom galore here

[@suehlangu1]

Love these conversations, blessings to you the Makhs ♥️

[@wendyshomoya]

I really needed to hear this thank you so much ❤

[@Lebo_Ndebele]

Oh my gosh Phetola is so relatable 😅. I feel like I went through the same struggles at the beginning of my marriage.

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@happymuller841]

Ewuuu bandla!😅 FORGIVE YOURSELF! (register signed) Awesome conversations! Love y'all❤❤❤peace & blessings!

[@mapitselefika8612]

Those last few minutes…I love how Phetola was so patient while Lerato was trying to gather his thoughts 🥺

[@JK.O-Appiah]

Thank you very much for this. I'm learning a lot from these conversations you have with each other. Stay Blessed.

[@themouthpiecenetwork]

Thank you so much, i needed this. God bless y'all🙏

[@bravva_01]

I wish I could subscribe again and again after every installment... I can relate to every point, learning, unlearning and relearning every time. I just love you guys.

[@mutsawashechipuriro4225]

I loved the part about not apologizing for your feelings. Feelings are very valid and a huge part of yourself. Not acknowledging them is as good as not acknowledging yourself or your space within the relationship.

[@asantesana.]

😂😂😂😂 Yuuhh it's so late in the night I'm having a blast with this conversation but Yuuhh the black and white part of this installment has me in stitches 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ziziphomagula8183]

Ncoooooh bethuna the Rewind part oh man♥♥♥♥

[@esthermusic12]

Eyy! Mr Makhs thanks for letting us ladies/well me know that as men, all you want is to give us access to opportunity and rooms..wow (Mrs Makhs asked the question so well😊❤) 😂😂😂I also laughed so hard with Mr Makhs ka kgang ya stroke😂🤣eish sorry hase gore ha re rate bophelo😂 And that last clip of Mr Makhs😢shems go raya gore he's been overthinking lately..shems bathong sorry Mr Makhs ❤❤love you guys✌

[@ramaitemasipa6551]

Guyseeesss I LOVE THIS COUPLE. 😭😭😭 Every installment I have watched, I always go in prayer because woooooow the wisdom being shared......shooo...my God...God please protect them and please remain in the Lord guys...

[@zaneleluhabe8863]

Lerato please dont overwork yourself,make sure you take supplements.We love you guys❤❤❤❤

[@ziziphomagula8183]

That "stroke" laugh was so cute.....I was even giggling!

[@leratomolaoa3819]

Same here I couldn't stop giggling

[@patrab]

thanks for taking the last point off my shoulders

[@mrspboledi]

This was amazing, thank you fam.

[@boikhutsomaja6540]

The very end sahna, ngife fi! Fi! Fi! 🤣🤣🤣

[@forexsigna-m1j]

We are here❤❤

[@Keaaabetswe]

This is so beautiful man, i love this and enjoyed every part of this conversation.

[@gugungwema6959]

Keep at it! You are LOVE

[@shamimkagere]

The stroke thing has killed me, I'm in a public place but I've laughed so hard🤣🤣🤣

[@ShereenRamahuma]

The blooper at the end😭😂was a bit funny and scary at the same time🥺❤

[@annieluhanga1229]

I love your channel❤️. You are so full of wisdom. I learn alot from you. Keep serving the Lord through this channel # Such a beautiful couple 🥰

[@yolisalisanqari]

Forgive yourself😇 You guys heee.. the instalment was lit especially at the end yhooo Mr Makhs🤣🤣🤣

[@selaeloyolendah974]

Love your content so much guys. May you continue to grow

[@karabobatshwenyi1101]

I loved what Mr Makhs said at 28:21 because people have this tendency of saying their thoughts like it's the truth even if they are not sure because one is afraid of being judged for not knowing... that time it's fine to not know some things, yes you can say your thoughts but notify the next person that you don't know those are just your thoughts

[@LeboNkgodi]

😅😅I really enjoy these segments. I enjoyed so much and very much agree to these points. I looove how self-aware you guys are.

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@silindileswana-nu4ds]

I loved the installation ❤ Forgive yourself 😅

[@kingdomgirlsarise]

This was a beautiful installment yet again. I loved it👌🏾❤️❤️ By the time I get married I'll be an expert I hope😅😅😅

[@PZJBimha]

This is so insightful. Thank you. 🙂

[@maboocie]

Forgive yourself 🎉🎉🎉🎉loved this

[@ms.buhlee]

Love these conversations😍God bless you fam

[@nangamsongceke7520]

Forgive yourself, I’m loving this for me. I’m taking it.❤

[@jabulilengalo1209]

Self cav is the best cav!🤝🏾

[@thobekaphanyeko4358]

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Forgive yourself❤❤❤. You are doing the Lord's work fam. Thank you!

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@minkz002]

❤️ 23:15 Phetola 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I absolutely loved this part and I literally laughed the same time as you because I also like asking my husband “motho wa Modimo when are you taking your kids and giving me some space and alone time” 😂🤭

[@mabusanhlapo87]

Love love love 💕💕💕 you guys and the honesty ❤️❤️

[@pertuniamasike372]

Phetola's Laughter 🤣...is so contagious

[@mbalienhlemthembu6373]

Subscribing to this channel was one of my best decisions.. I enjoy these conversations sooooo much ❤ | Thank you for the vulnerability yoooh ❤

[@TheMakhs]

Aaah thank your fam!❤

[@babeszitshu]

Forgive yourself 😆. This was such a great and insightful conversation. Thank you Fam🫶

[@TheMakhs]

❤❤❤❤

[@mahlogonolothobane7298]

Yaz I can't believe I am related to you beautiful humans??. Awesome installment bo cuz as always 😍😍😍

[@marvelousmbali8002]

Issa wrap ♥️

[@NoloMamps]

Whooo fam!!! That thumbnail 🔥🔥🔥🔥Whoooo

[@isiphilendakisa1440]

Right?!🔥