Things You Wouldn’t Hear in a School Assembly | Mock the Week - BBC

[@tombstonerforever9374]

I love when the crowd can tell the punchline before the person says it

[@Elwaves2925]

Sometimes a joke is designed exactly for that effect but they're still a joy to hear.

[@magicelliotth]

Milton Jones is the kind at that.

[@Elwaves2925]

@@magicelliotth I adore Milton's one liners. He isn't afraid to do an 'out there' joke that doesn't work, only to make it work later.

[@pretzelhunt]

sometimes they've said it before but have to re-shoot that, or a slightly later, part.

[@diehardrvdfan22]

Especially if it's unintended.

[@joycejohnson7164]

I just wanted to rave to Hugh about his performance in Fleabag series 1 & 2. Brilliant, loved your character and how he redeemed himself. Great job!

[@TheJonathanNewton]

0:55 Hugh’s delivery… matchless.

[@gracewenzel]

“The unfortunate task of building…”

[@williamcrowe2576]

A casket?

[@kylestubbs8867]

@@williamcrowe2576 yes.

[@gothnerd887]

@@williamcrowe2576 I was thinking coffin but that's because I prefer them

[@khymaaren]

I love that he didn't have to finish the joke.

[@casbot71]

​@@khymaarenAnd he just rolled with it and stayed in character, "being overwhelmed by the emotion ...."

[@thepretentiousgentleman]

“As the start of the school year began to approach, I was kept all night thinking of the students and what they would be wearing. It really kept me up at night. So our policy will follow the 3 Bs: No butts no boobs no bellies.” My Principal addressing our first assembly of the year in high school.

*principal

[@henrikhyrup3995]

Hugh's joke at 0:54 was amusingly dark. Love it!

[@Benlovescheese]

i loved it me

[@aecides3203]

"As a reward for this years outstanding GCSE results I will reveal which of the teachers have boned." Not gonna lie, I would have tried at least 10% harder if that was on the table (though, hopefully, not literally on the table).

[@johncunningham6928]

0:49 Ed Byrne channelling his inner Leslie Phillips...🤣

[@massimookissed1023]

Ding, dong !

[@heyokaikaggen6288]

I'm pretty sure that some of the Fifth Form girls could have applied for that Duke of York award just fine.

[@stephenlitten1789]

And any 7th form girls. I mean, why leave it open to just the UK😁

[@TheNukedNacho]

“And, of course, we’d like to congratulate the Year 11 Science Club who made it into the top 5… of the FBI’s most wanted.”

[@travelphotos7662]

Hugh had to drag the audience along a bit before the majority realised the coffin joke punchline. :-)

[@AECEntertainment]

Hugh dennis... 2:00 joke is pretty much spot on

[@swampthing20]

Seriously, Glenn Moore at 2:30 made me actually, literally, nearly piss myself

[@adambrooks7897]

Students ready!!!!! Teachers ready!!!!! 3, 2, 1, fight

[@TheWPhilosopher]

That's more of a TV Burp joke

[@Vincornelis]

Unfortunately we've run out of budget for school uniforms but thanks to a kind donation from the producers of naughty catholic school girls #17 the poorer girls are looking very fetching this year.

[@kiriakoz]

Frankie would’ve had a field day with this one.

[@travelwell6049]

He makes me sick, I’m glad he isn’t this one.

[@travelwell6049]

He makes me sick, I’m glad he isn’t this one.

[@liams1991]

@@travelwell6049 diddums

[@GiratinaofFury]

I'm pretty sure they had this subject during his time on the show, so probably did have a field day.

[@LUXXY1984]

Would have been GOLD!

[@rubywest5166]

6th form? That’s a little old for Andy, no?

[@alexsmith7313]

I’m a simple man; I see Ed Byrne in a thumbnail, I click.

[@danielmiller3596]

Can tell the guy in the sweater vest hasn't been to Texas. 'On the ground' is just how they start the day after getting through security.

[@CANNAV0]

2:00 I don't get it

[@WaterCrane]

If I have to guess, given it's the chair of the school governers, I think it's either a facesitting joke or someone with a ridiculously posh and unpronouncible name because such governors tend to be aristocrats completely out of touch with what really goes on.

[@CANNAV0]

@Hassaan Ah, it's bugging me more than it should 🤣 do you know the series & episode number?

[@jl5749]

0:29 a fired pe teacher once sued my school bc he claimed the department head only fired him for being straight

[@matthewparker9276]

Did he win?

[@meganxraines9782]

i have a duke of york award 😳

[@davidlance5310]

1:21 me as a teacher & 2:32 me as a teacher at a grammar/private school

[@chrisgarton4225]

And welcome students to the annual quiz bowl. And this year we have new rules with these teams of four you will be facing one of the Chasers if you succeed.

[@kyivstuff]

Ooh-la-la lol

[@johncunningham6928]

Ding dong...

[@RatelHBadger]

The edge is back...

[@kinsmed]

Ahhh. Smells fresh.

[@Dim4323]

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

[@Enevan1968]

You know!

[@delmawarden8204]

BRILLIANT

[@queeny5613]

Brilliant

[@TheFrankiemonkey]

Comedian at 0:35?

[@ewanbrown6024]

Ed Byrne

[@TheFrankiemonkey]

@@ewanbrown6024 wrong

[@fredh1720]

@@TheFrankiemonkey um no that's right

[@TheFrankiemonkey]

@@beeble2003 I meant the comedian at 0:35

[@ewanbrown6024]

@@TheFrankiemonkey Ah. In answer to that, Sarah Keyworth

[@Jerry21238]

Was told it wasn't as good as it once was, just like Live At The Apollo.

[@biggusdickkus2956]

Live at the Apollo ? More like diversity for the sake of it and at the expense of comedy. 😂

[@biggusdickkus2956]

Yeah its not as good as at was but its still a thousand times better than the Apollo crap fest

[@BiggusNickus]

0:30 Completely not intending to offend here, but is this person a very young man or a woman?

[@EightThreeEight]

Sarah Keyworth is a cisgendered female.

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

Yes.

[@chrisgarton4225]

Now I would like to introduce you to a new student in our school, this is Karen. Now in these trying times during the pandemic she prefers not to wear a mask so don’t confront her to wear one.

[@jpoulter8845]

That's not what a Karen is also you can be anti mask without being anti vaccination, it's called centrism.

[@sca3104]

does anyone know why they’re all wearing rosettes?

[@Britishviking1]

They're poppies for WW1 remembrance

[@peterfireflylund]

They believe the British soldiers were the heroes of WW1, after helping France and Russia beat up Germany and Austria. Mind you, France and Russia started that war.

[@senturus609]

I'm still confused why the BBC block most ( I know they try for 100%) of the current episodes whilst at the same time claiming ; hurray, freedom ???

[@EightThreeEight]

They are fully within their rights to take down unofficial uploads of the content they own.

[@johnmartinez7440]

...what? Where are they claiming "hurray, freedom"???

[@robleary3353]

Love it! No Woke there!.... 🤣🤣🤣

[@johnmartinez7440]

...what?

[@martinquinn2227]

The Irish don't wear poppy's. Cool

[@EightThreeEight]

They do; they have very small poppy pins on.

[@ubergeekian]

What's the monitor at the foot of the fake microphone stand for? Obviously it's largely prepared in advance, but do they read from autocue?

[@tonyeaglestone4791]

It's a glass stand to stop them getting to close to the microphone for covid reasons. There is an epiosde where somone trips over it.

[@romainsavioz5466]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[@cdemo1186]

Trying to figure out if Ed Bynre is wearing a stupid poppy pin like Dara Ó Briain is.

[@Xipheas]

Who are all these vacuous nobodies?

[@mrh2o465]

Your relatives

[@ipellaers]

Angela Barnes is the death of comedy.

[@EightThreeEight]

No she isn't.

[@ipellaers]

@@EightThreeEight Complicit to the joke-genocide?

[@jimcourt9164]

Now just another woke BBC show

[@travelwell6049]

If you’re grumpy and unable to enjoy things, then make sure you’re getting enough sleep and make sure you’re eating a healthy balanced diet.

[@Elwaves2925]

You've got to love how the pathetically insecure are so easily identifiable in comments, while throwing out lame terms they don't really understand.

[@Sparx632]

What’s woke about this?

[@jimcourt9164]

@@Elwaves2925 unfunny feminist .. tick. Unfunny Lesbot …. Tick. Unfunny BAME … tick. Continual references to equality and diversity … tick tick tick.

[@jimcourt9164]

@@Sparx632 unfunny feminist .. tick. Unfunny Lesbot …. Tick. Unfunny BAME … tick. Continual references to equality and diversity … tick tick tick.

[@69mosshead]

Comedy is now buried. R.I.P.

[@kylestubbs8867]

No, you’re thinking of Mr. Thomas.

[@rachell4417]

Brilliant