This Family Has Problems

[@tracyaf6084]

Just sign it and include that she doesn’t get any income from him should they divorce. If her family is wealthy she wouldn’t need anything from him.

[@AnnaWitte-f8f]

I agree

[@joelplatt2651]

Seems fair to me!

[@genxx2724]

I agree. Especially because she has not established a career or put out any effort to earn anything.

[@doctorposting]

obviously 😂

[@unelectedleader6494]

Even marginally sophisticated people that actually have millions of dollars know that you don't want things on your balance sheet as an individual taxpayer. Things are left to a trust and/or to a company which you have roundabout control over. Things are not adding up here

[@deborahbergin2034]

My son married into a wealthy controlling family that offered them a house when he married their daughter. We advised him not to take it. 20 years later he never took the house or anything else. They have 2 houses that they own and are very successful on there own....His father in law has to stay out of their decision s.

[@deb9806]

Good choice, I knew a doctor who lived in a nice, rich neighborhood and his daughter was marrying and was going to live elsewhere. In a "dave" way, he said, if you live near me, literally 5-10 min, I'll build you a home. She took it but a little uncomfortable to me. Where does it end?

[@deirdrekiely6187]

*their* own, not there

[@patty109109]

Very good. This “help” from parents is a poisoned chalice.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

@@deirdrekiely6187Ffs thank you

[@taylamayde]

@@deirdrekiely6187 it was prolly(me using slang on purpose) auto correct or talk to text it messing up from the to time but good in event up being bush or worst driving

[@DDubs-bi9zc]

My sister married into a family like this. The controlling never ends.

[@GradmaSunshine]

I married into a family like this, and they controlled my ex with their checkbook. It ruined our marriage. 😢

[@Kindcaringsoulgentle]

@@GradmaSunshine sounds like financial blackmail. keeping you in place with blackmail. frightening.

[@NorthFork]

Super rich families follow the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules

[@Gramps935]

The call is so funny to hear because the caller is rich, like 1%, but he is dealing with in-laws that are rich rich 0.1%.

[@thehungrywolf69]

Exactly LOL😂

[@frankcb11]

Dude this made me laugh. 😂 thank you

[@EsiriE]

Yeah lol. The different levels of “rich”

[@robertconrad8005]

Making 500k isn't wealthy.

[@frankcb11]

@@robertconrad8005how much do you make and which income is considered wealthy

[@Executor009]

Ken nailed it, its not about the money its about the control her family has over her and now over him too.

[@donnasherwood283]

i would not necessarily say this. i know a family of fabulous wealth daughter was getting married and the attorney who represented groom said he had never seen anything like what her parents were demanding in the prenup. he just signed on the dotted line. they are fine once that was out of the way no one is interfering in their married life. this man needs to just sign or let her go what is his problem ? He should see how it goes before children and if he does not like how things are with in laws and if unacceptable get a divorce. why are these guys ratcheting this up to therapists and confrontation.

[@kathrynp7595]

My parents bought my husband and I a house 30 years ago but there were so many strings involved, were very bossy and controlling when it came to our children. 10 yrs later we wrote them a check for the house, moved and bought our own. Felt so good to have those strings cut . Our relationship has always been strained because of that. My God, they even insisted that we use their first names as our children’s middle names, we didn’t even like their names - Marilyn and Fred 😟

[@zaidahmed9527]

Great work... Had similar issue making mistake of taking an interest free loan from parents.... Never again.. Paid it back within a few years due to the "how can you go on a holiday when you have debt 😂"

[@len2972]

And you used those names? I would have said no...I am choosing.

[@kathrynp7595]

@@len2972 Looking back we should have put our foot down but we were young and stupid 😟

[@NMelter]

@@kathrynp7595we’ve all been young and dumb. You were smart enough to turn it around and get away!

[@tongl274]

The divorce was planned before the wedding.

[@stevenporter863]

Is a seat belt planning on a car crash?

[@xavierhayes80]

@@stevenporter863 Fair enough 🤷🏽‍♂

[@majorlagg9321]

@@stevenporter863 Actually, yes.

[@kap1833]

It’s sad

[@thomasdalton1508]

It's a bit late to plan it after the wedding...

[@ziggywalsh5562]

He actually has money himself. The fiance has nothing. He should have a prenup for her too.

[@doctorposting]

the fiance has family money, are you slow

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

@@doctorposting He meant for some reason she doesn't work at all and has no income except from them which they can take away at any time.

[@estreetangel]

Yup. It could be a disaster for the caller if he signs the prenup and they divorce and she gets half his assets. He needs to have his own pre-nup saying she gets nothing from him in the event of a divorce. @@workinprogress-ye5or

[@lisaabroad1192]

@@doctorposting rude

[@ziggywalsh5562]

​@@doctorposting she will most likely inherit one day, but as of today, she has no job and no money that is her own.

[@radolfkalis4041]

Family decided they needed the prenup. Family will build a house they can live in. Her family will run their lives.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

No they won't.

[@MisterNightfish]

@@jimmymcgill6778 Wdym? They already are. And they're not even married yet. You think this gets any better when they can literally hold "we own the house you live in" over his head?

[@pitbull7885]

and the prenup will say he doesn't own the house in the event of a divorce.

[@stevenporter863]

That's what happens if you marry into big money. Think marrying into Dave's family was a hands off situation?

[@radolfkalis4041]

@@MisterNightfish EXACTLY

[@MisterNightfish]

This guy is just going to be an accessory to his marriage. "Apparently they are building us a house that goes into a trust". Who wants to be a guest in his own house for... the rest of his lfie?

[@midnightblue117]

Exactly!

[@michaelb.8953]

You're comment is 100% spot on. Going through life owning everything without owning a thing and the cost is availing oneself to her family as that's how I perceive this as playing out.

[@steve-on3234]

I do. And I’ll save the house payment I would’ve had to make and retire rich.

[@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem]

the dude makes 300k, they can buy their own house if they want... the dude is independently wealthy and he's marrying into a rich family, its a good deal for him to suck it up and go along for the ride. there is no reason for a man to ever be against signing a prenup lol

[@crowtservo]

@@Big-Government-Is-The-ProblemYep. Dude should hide his money just in case though.

[@IrishMexican]

Dave’s introspection here was world class 👏 And he did it in front of a live audience. Lot of respect there 👍 Wish more people were aware of their own hypocrisies from time to time. We all have them.

[@kara2162]

He's very self aware.

[@prix205]

true!

[@ChickenOfMajesty]

Made this an all-time call for me. Too funny!

[@therationalistparty9742]

The minute you realize you are marrying the family and or friends instead of the spouse is when you run. Im talking from experience.

[@wufflerdance9481]

my MIL pulled that 4 years into marraige...had to put her in her place...she should know better..she is twice divorced😂😬 hasnr had a healrhy relationship dating in her life from what i can see break ups or divorce ending all of them

[@therationalistparty9742]

@@wufflerdance9481 Yeah my ML was one of the biggest intrusions for my wife and I. She tries to control everything. I tried one time to put her in her place and OMG the victim beast came out big time and my wife took her side. After that I twiddled my thumbs and just accepted it until my wife left me last year.

[@henrykonno1329]

Her parents will "dictate" the number of kids they have. AND their NAMES !!

[@gelliebeane6789]

Right! Dr. Myles Munroe said, 'Marriage is the creation of a third family, not the combining of two.' You are creating your own family/lives.

[@gelliebeane6789]

​@wufflerdance9481 Good for you! People need to respect boundaries.

[@ONLY1KUDWE]

I love when people can be swift and to the point with their question.

[@franzinauen8443]

First they wanna show how 'good' they are. Probably 70% of these questions are fake, that is what I think.

[@shells500tutubo]

I love when people can't be swift and to the point with their answer. Dave never really answered the caller's question nor did he give him actionable advice.

[@amyann47]

@@shells500tutubohe did, he said to find out about MO divorce law and get premarital counseling because this isn’t a financial issue it’s an issue with boundaries with his future in laws.

[@tezetamareligne6473]

@@shells500tutuboI felt the same way. The guy said his income will increase soon and was asking how he should handle the prenup from his side of the wealth. They didn’t give him any answer on that.

[@MathiasJarlson]

Nobody’s going to talk about how he’s 28 making 500k?

[@superior120v5]

and STILL needs to sign a prenub. That family still probably makes him feel like a failure for ONLY making 300K plus

[@bevharo3750]

It wasn’t his question and I don’t see how that is part of the situation or decision.

[@edhcb9359]

It’s not against the law or anything.

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

He’s rich. Rich feed the rich

[@misplacednewyawker]

Ramsey is an adult who believes in imaginary friends in the sky and an anti-Semetic a-hole. Hey Ramsey , grow up son. The Stupid-natural is for gullible children.

[@marilynsue4273]

He needs his own attorney, to protect both sides.

[@jackstar254]

There is no need to protect both sides. If he doesn't care what kind of money his wife brings, just sign the pre-nup to protect her assets. Move on. Anything she brings is bonus. Why stir up a discussion that doesn't mater to you?

[@shells500tutubo]

@@jackstar254 Because it may not matter now because he doesn't know how consequential it will; be in the future when and if they divorce. No one with significant assets and a partner who by herself or himself has nothing (and without her family money she brings NOTHING financial to the table) should go into marriage without a prenup.

[@TonyCox1351]

@@shells500tutubohe said he has $300K,which ordinarily I’m not making my wife sign a pre nupt over $300K. But since they are already signing one it might as well be mutual

[@frankcb11]

@@jackstar254no no no he needs to protect himself. 100%

[@LisaCPerry]

100 percent agree. Her inheritance means nothing. If they divorce she will be entitled to half. The family's money is protected by trusts. They want to make sure her residuals are protected. He can definitely get screwed. He needs to get counsel asap.

[@aliceg.199]

I appreciate Dave's self-awareness and honesty about himself. This family will own their marriage - he needs his own prenup or run. The fiance has a lot of growing up to do.

[@danielfazio275]

"this is God's money I'm managing it" is a golden line

[@lazarus381]

Isn't money supposed to be the root of all evil?!

[@danielfazio275]

@ actually no, that’s a scripture that lot of people misuse. The word actually reads that the “love” for money is the root of all evil. Which is really just referring to greed. But being able to make money itself and having it is not inherently tied to evil. Only if it becomes your whole life, personality, and ultimate decision maker

[@briankowald6465]

Her family can handle the inheritance with a trust, they don’t need a prenup.

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

That's what Dave did, it sounds better and his church I think frowns on things like that.

[@cierrablue]

They know that. They just want to exert control.

[@julzluvzdollz]

Exactly. He won’t inherit anything anyway.

[@ok.ok.5735]

⁠@@workinprogress-ye5orAll churches would frown on a prenup. Because marriage is supposed to be life long aka death do us part. A prenup is like you’re expecting to part.

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

@@ok.ok.5735 yes, and I think more couples need counseling before marriage (Catholics did that, not sure now) because too many couples quit for reasons that don't seem that awful. I know some have to split but try to know the key issues you have as deal breakers before "I do". Never think about leaving, you'll have troubles but unless abuse, cheating, etc. give it a chance.

[@JEbLC]

Hey Mr Ramsey, I’m from Zambia and you help me and my friends a lot, I’m very thankful…

[@Qwackdawack]

👋 hello from Canada

[@Atlas-tp8dw]

👍

[@paulinalinus5714]

Wow am from Zambia as well and Dave is my guy

[@ethanshy280]

This guy is incredibly articulate and clear at communication.

[@frankcb11]

Is he really?

[@ethanshy280]

@@frankcb11 He is

[@frankcb11]

@@ethanshy280yeah true! Maybe didn’t see it that way I think he needs to take more stand and consider himself in this situation but that doesn’t mean he isn’t articulate!

[@ethanshy280]

@@frankcb11the situation sucks for him. I don’t view it as his fault though, it should have been communicated with him. I’m not sure if that’s something that needs to be asked by HIM ahead of time, the family should have made that clear. But he is clearly not some deadbeat. I think they should let him in unless there is something that was not mentioned in this.

[@jamesrichardson2191]

yeah, that's why I think he's in financial services. Maybe an investment banker?

[@opheliamyall2554]

If he is going to sign that prenuptial, he might as well have her sign one so he is protected too. This really sucks considering he sounds financially intelligent and has his finances in order.

[@someoneelse6934]

A prenup would cover both parties in the same manner, 2 separate ones would not likely be necessary. Basically wording is along the lines of what is your is yours and what’s theirs is theirs and any inheritance etc are sole property to the recipient not to be split in a divorce.

[@vianjelos]

He needs to have a clause for 50/50 custody of any children with no child support on either side, no alimony either since his wife won't be working. Her family has money to rake him through the coals in a custody battle and he could end up losing his kids and being in debt due to legal fees.

[@Songbird36able]

​@@vianjelosJust leave her where she is with mommy and daddy dearest.

[@kimwilliams7476]

I interpreted his question this way: if she’s going to protect her potential inheritance, how am I going to protect my potential $500k income. He seems fine with the prenup but wants to protect what he’s bringing to the table. Imagine if he signed the prenup and her inheritance is protected but all the assets purchased by his 500k salary over the years are split and she’s never worked a day in her life. That would be pretty unfair. So it was never really addressed how he can protect what he’s bringing in.

[@HelenaBasyouni]

What's wrong with you people. He doesn't need their money if he loves her. If she a good wife she will to manage house hold take care of him and the children they hopefully will have some day. If he wants freedom from her family he needs to man up and take care of his new family himself in the end their children will get everything anyway. The don't have leave her anything. All their money could be left to some charity or to strangers. It's their money not her. I know someone who married a gold digger the family didn't make him sign a pre nup. He insisted that they build him a house and put in his name so they did. What he didn't know was these people where millionaires. They knew he was greedy he got the house but the parents cut him and his wife out of the Will so the end he got nothing from her family not even support. They gave everything away she got nothing.

[@garykeith1048]

@@HelenaBasyouni I'd rather have nothing than kiss ass.

[@AnneCaulder]

That’s exactly caller’s problem. The family is protecting their generational wealth. But the caller’s income of $300,000 and growing will be marital property once they are married. The issue is NOT that he doesn’t need anyone’s money. The problem is how the laws are constructed.

[@OMGITSAAAJ]

You are being "Acquired" my guy.

[@Tara_thatonegirl]

THIS 👆🏻

[@iddddaduncan]

Nothing says love like prenups and talking about inheritance before you're married, so beautiful!

[@OhWell0]

I'm a millennial. I hear people my age and younger say that prenups are mean spirited. No, divorces are mean spirited. Prenups are meant to prevent the worst possible outcome. I crawled on my hands and knees out of poverty, dragging my kid with me. Nobody's going to knock us back down into poverty, *no one* . I don't care who you are. We can do the prenup and get married or we can stay friends. Not to mention the custody trauma a prenup could spare your children.

[@Erudite_one]

Yes to the prenup (subject to independent review by his own attorney) because he needs “protection” as much as she does. She doesn’t work and her assets are tied up in family trusts so in the eyes of the court she is basically broke. Despite her (family’s) wealth, he will be destroyed if/when they get divorced. Absolutely NO to the house! Best case, it will make his interactions with her family uncomfortable because there will always be an unfulfilled quid pro quo. Worst case, her family will use it as means to overtly exert control over their marriage. They will actually respect him more, eventually, if he declines the offer and creates his own legacy with their daughter.

[@girlygirl1890]

Wow. LOVE the comment. I 1,000% agree with you. Thanks!

[@susanb6289]

My place was purchased by my parents and there is no weirdness at all. They wanted to make sure me and my son were secure and I love them for it and it is never referenced or used over my head.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes🎉🎉🎉

[@ronica2623]

Totally agree. Except they wouldn’t respect him more. People who need control would be angry if he wouldn’t bend to their “benevolent” gestures…

[@haloimplant7678]

imagine how entitled they might feel to come and visit whenever they want. Their plans for this guy could have been a nightmare

[@Jim_Curtis]

Put the feelings aside about prenups because in this case, it is absolutely needed. The clarity of asset division in a possible divorce will make things cleaner and less headaches.

[@NYNC88]

This was excellent. Ken is the best Ramsey personality, and he's absolutely right.

[@NMelter]

I love it when Ken is on.

[@og6433]

"Apparently, they are going to build us a house." That's easy. You say "NO". Buy or build a house for your family with your own money. She, as a wife, will have to accept the house you and her can afford without her family. They don't get to make financial decisions for your family. That's nuts.

[@ccl70x7]

100% the house they can afford.

[@justsayin895]

This situation will only worsen as it lasts. Run

[@andreachilton6037]

The poor guy sounds very indecisive, he can't even answer the question about how HE feels about the situation.

[@KathleenMcNe]

He's not ready to get married, much less to a woman who has never been independent and comes from a family with a weird dynamic.

[@VinodhBallout6711]

Yeah I feel bad for him. Prenups just make everything so awkward before the knot is even tied

[@kimmyb8276]

I don't think he wants to be fully honest in case his fiancee hears it

[@rayj.9568]

"I'm marrying your daughter (granddaughter). I'm not signing a prenup and you are not building us a house. I will take care of that."

[@rebeccaoliver7977]

I wonder if the daughter would get married. I'm betting it is to be one big wedding!

[@rayshacordero4476]

Simple as that!

[@hyui5096]

I mean signing a inheritance prenup isn't unreasonable. If you think it is the you should discuss it with your partner. But the parents aren't bad or anything for wanting their money to go to their children. Especially since not everyone is religious and some parents just want to protect their kids if something goes wrong especially if it is their money.

[@noelhanna6432]

Perfect answer.

[@jennifermarques6159]

​@@hyui5096that's what trusts are for.

[@lkj0822g]

Sooo, what Dave just admitted was that all his assets are tied up in various business entities and are safely harbored behind a wall of lawyers and therefore, he didn't ask his sons/daughters spouses to sign a prenuptial agreement. Same destination, different methodology. This family probably is first generation wealth, they worked hard for their prosperity, they have four daughters and this is the first daughter getting married, and they are freaking out playing the "what if" game. The funny thing, with his salary, sounds as though this caller has more to lose in the event of a divorce than the daughter.

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

he admits it, he had all 3 work with him at great salaires, SIL too I think. They have grand homes so I assume the pay is great. I saw one they sold, grand staircase etc and so he "controls" in the fact they work for him, see him after work, at holiday's, etc. They can go on their own but they know they wont get daddy's salary. The small decisions they get to make car choice, nanny, vacation are small things but he will joke about that too.

[@doctorposting]

right? why is he acting holier than thou when he does the exact same thing😂😂😂😂

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

@@doctorposting He calls it something different. His church might frown on "prenup" but he said with a team of lawyers he made sure no one but blood would get his money. I get it, he was rich when he daughter's married and son and if for one second they thought, "If this doesn't work out. I can leave with more than I came with" they are wrong. He said it's "iron clad"

[@AlexKaehler-qc8kd]

Unless it's agricultural land, rich people worth millions and millions of dollars don't have much for cash and they don't give people things directly onto their balance sheet. Assets go into a trust or over to a corporation, if not already, which the heirs can then either fairly directly control or control through lawyers. It can get pretty convoluted. As much as you want it to be. I could be the Director of a company that gives orders to another company which actually owns $30 million worth of assets blah blah blah. It's all smoking mirrors

[@Diashi1267]

Dave’s response is disingenuous. “I didn’t ask my daughter/son in laws to sign pre-nups but I have my estate planning set up to ensure assets will only ever be controlled by Ramsey blood in the event of divorce”. So functionally it’s the same thing 😂 I think he likes to think he’s righteous (“it’s gods money”) due to his stance on prenups (and throw it in people’s faces) but he’s just as controlling just in a more cunning way that’s less socially obvious

[@mistiinseattle]

My relative in Missouri was given a house when she married. It had been in her family for decades. At her divorce she had to pay her husband half the value of the house in order not to lose it from her family

[@emoney1231]

Dave talking about his control issues makes a lot of sense. "My way or the highway" with Dave. There's no gray area

[@AlanRaviAtchison]

And this is a guy who makes all his employees sign NDAs or they can’t work there, and recently required all current employees to sign one or they would be fired. This doesn’t even begin to cover the huge culture of abuse going on at Ramsey Solutions, which has been exposed by many former employees. Such a shame because Dave’s baby steps changed my entire financial life, but sometimes great things come from terrible people.

[@marnarenteria4203]

​@@AlanRaviAtchison "Many former employees?"

[@AlanRaviAtchison]

@@marnarenteria4203 Yep. Do a little Google searching. Amy Fritz's Untangled Faith podcast lays it all out. Bob Smietana's Religion News Service investigations expose a lot of what goes on at RS.

[@mysticaltyger2009]

Definitely!

[@alinatamashevich3354]

@Alan , name 3 ex employees that you personally know.

[@mikeshaw4610]

I love Dave’s advice about raising to be good and do what’s right outside of money. It’s so true.

[@robcd7112]

I have a bigger problem with the house than the prenup because it's an even bigger sign that there will be more to follow.

[@compendiousperspicacity]

Their house, their rules. Would be strange to live there under those circumstances. Is their relationship about mostly money or what

[@prix205]

why cant just give them the house as a gift if they are rich rich like that ....goodness

[@CristianoCabelo]

@@prix205I don’t think that is the main issue. I think the issue is that her family didn’t think it was important to sit down with him and his wife and talk about this gift. It sounds like her family simply decided where he is going to live without even talking to him about it.

[@pixigirl999]

I suspect that he is going to sign the prenup. He should just have her sign one as well. He won’t have access to her inheritance but in the event that she gets disinherited(because as he said she doesn’t have any of her own money) she can get half of his money.

[@marcenelj]

Ooooh reading your comment makes it feel like this whole relationship is a financial transaction

[@tv92taylor]

They both would be signing a single prenup which could include protections for both.

[@B-6996]

Modern marriages are a financial transaction on the back end, considering the failure rate.

[@javaskull88]

@@marcenelja marriage is many things, both sacred and secular. One of those things is that it’s a contract with tremendous financial implications.

[@AlexKaehler-qc8kd]

He should tell her that he lost his job and picked up a felony conviction so he'll never get that job again and he'll never make more than 80 K and see what she says. Then we'll know if it's a transaction for sure

[@Kinsale101]

Sign the prenuptial agreement dude. And make your own prenuptial and have her sign it.

[@athens31415]

Yes, prenups are standard. The caller has some massive ego and control issues. No wonder the fiance's parents are being protective of her. No parents wants their daughter to be stuck in a controlling relationship.

[@lisajoplin6415]

? Her family is the one who sounds controlling.​@@athens31415

[@kimmyb8276]

​@@athens31415y3ah I don't agree. He is worried because she isn't working but her money is her oney. What happened to his money is his money in that case? Yeah no, red flags. He needs to either have her sign a prenuptial too or run. Personally he should run

[@kimmyb8276]

​@@athens31415I don't agree. She is saying her money is her money but what about his money is his money then. He should run

[@athens31415]

@@kimmyb8276 No need to run at all -- it's literally called a "Prenup". Might want to look into some therapy, dude.

[@santafilipina9020]

I wish they had asked the lad his occupation. $300k and his only 28? Wowie!

[@deb9806]

He usually does but her family did sound a LOT like Dave's and I wondered if the caller was real.

[@semosancus5506]

I'm sure he's connected so probably grossly overpaid for what he does

[@deb9806]

@@semosancus5506 Like Dave's kids? No matter what they get on paper, he can give them "gifts" anytime he wants and he talks of that often. Give you kids money, never loan. Rachel jokes how the grandkids are spoiled by him big time in a way they never were. Sister asked for a swing, they get a huge playground of various things. He bought all 3 kids a motorized car...things like that. Fun but even when she was a teen and he had a lot of money, he didn't feel the need to do that generosity. I wonder if it's because he loves them and they are more attached to parents and this makes them "love Papa Dave". But for the right reason??

[@nicolelewis6312]

He could be in engineering or sales.

[@AlexKaehler-qc8kd]

Seems a little high but possible. I was making about half that by 27 as a network engineer. made it to 1/4 x 30, but that was taking on a lot more responsibility and a lot more stress. Decided to back off that for a while because I want to keep my hair

[@BlueDauntless]

She just falls in line with her parents bidding? At 25? Get thee to a premarital counselor yesterday! This is going to be a nightmare if she doesn’t start growing up and standing on her own. And don’t let them build you a house! You have a great income. Do it with your wife, together! Not her family.

[@rickdunn3863]

Perfect example how MONEY controls people. You have to be like Dave who has been BROKE, to understand how you control the money, and not the other way around.

[@Angelo80907]

Imagine arguments in the house. “This is my family’s house get out!” 😂

[@davewarrant8673]

I sure hope Dave ponders and revisits this call, because it's something I struggle with. For 30ish years I supported people. My kids are now grown, and I've gotten rid of adults that were just time, energy, and resource parasites. I KNOW there are other people in the same situation, and I've heard Dave talk about not hesitating to be with someone that isn't in the same financial situation as you are, but how do you have a relationship and NOT feel like "It's my money, I get veto power."?

[@ttfells2020]

This is a great conversation especially for us who are building assets & how we can help our kids, protect the businesses & stay off the unhealthy money monster 👹. Good content

[@lilolmecj]

Well, all other advice aside, I would kindly decline my parents, or parents in law building me a house that belongs to their trust. Wait another year at this high salary and build your own home. I can’t imagine many things more corrosive to a couple building a life together than the roof over their hands being owned by a trust controlled by in-laws.

[@LovesGrilling]

Sign the prenup. It's inheritance. Just have a lawyer look over it. They are worth 100MM, I expect them to protect their assets.

[@ashleenicole71]

I hope this caller listened to their advice. Very concerning the fiance just does what her parents/grandparents want without question and is fine with living in a home they own. I think a big discussion needs to happen where he flat put refuses to live in their home. He can buy a home for them. No strings attached!

[@qing2008]

I don’t see what the problem is. A marriage is an economic partnership so having a contract is a smart move. As long as the prenup protects the rights of both sides (given his high income), having a clean prenup is much better than having a messy divorce. Just hire a good lawyer to negotiate fair terms for you before signing it.

[@beck943]

The issue is that her family will dictate every facet of their lives if they don't team up and show some independent thought. The prenup is just a symptom of a bigger issue.

[@ed5952]

​@@beck943 just consider that this is an already rich guy marrying a mega-rich girl

[@beck943]

@@ed5952 that's true. It doesn't negate the issue of her family wanting to control and dictate their lives for years to come, is all.

[@ed5952]

@@beck943it could be.. or.. maybe they have a better idea who knows.. I will roll with it mam... it they're hyper mega rich as he says he has absolutely nothing to lose and everything will be a win

[@ed5952]

@@beck943 it doesn't really matter, he will win regardless. Also, he's already rich

[@giliwsapiandante8454]

Dave, you nailed again. Thank you, thank you. i raised my kids the way you did its very rewarding. Im not rich.

[@knightwriter2989]

We told our 16 year old son he needed to get a job and keep his hair cut. We were so mean!!! Now? He's an executive for a Fortune 100 Company. Oh, and he respects us and doesn't see us as his ATM. Best advice I can provide. Always be a parent FIRST to your children and a friend second. So many people have this backwards and it leads to disaster.

[@theresa78201]

Many employers do not want the liability of having a 16-year-old worker.

[@carnivoreRon]

He needs to run. The in laws will control everything in his life and the wife will go along with it. Run.

[@random-nz7dy]

There's no way in hell I would want to be 28 making $500,000 and be subjected to somebody else deciding where I live and what that looks like outside of me and a spouse. No way. As far as the prenup goes what he needs to do is protect himself. Since she's so well taken care of, he can protect himself by making sure that she doesn't get any of his assets if they divorce. Simple is that. And this is an absolute necessity if he is going to marry her But frankly that sounds like an easier problem than dealing with this house thing where her family is trying to control and make him an accessory to their family.

[@mysticaltyger2009]

For the record, he's currently only making 300k. But otherwise, I agree 100%. Heck, I don't make anywhere near that and I wouldn't want that.

[@Icookadapizza]

Hope this guy got his own attorney. His wife should also step up and defend her man’s. Massive red flag.

[@athens31415]

NO -- parents are protecting their daughter from a control freak -- this caller has MASSIVE ego and control issues -- the daughter just doesn't realize it yet --- Daughter should leave this relationship ASAP --- any partner that throws a stink about prenups is NOT SAFE and WALKING RED FLAG.

[@scoobie8amg]

EVERYONE needs a prenup. And everyone has one. Just some have one their spouse and the rest have one with the government.

[@petepeterson5337]

Great comment - Needs a small typo edit.

[@kara2162]

Exactly. This is the reason that we created a pre-nup and a trust under our own terms. Take the control back.

[@robertthompson5908]

Personally I would not want to marry into that situation. But it depends a lot on how your wife feels about. Ken tried to get at this but you wouldn’t say. That’s a red flag right there.

[@lancep.1251]

He can actually use the situation to his advantage. What I mean by that is he should ensure the prenup includes a provision that keeps his earnings made during the marriage as his separate property (rather than as marital or community property). That way, he can at least maintain full ownership and control of those earnings instead of her getting half, which would typically happen by default in most if not all states. He’ll do just fine in his own, even in the case of divorce, because he’ll have maintained and controlled all that he earned throughout the marriage, plus he would have enjoyed free housing the whole time. That turns this into a big win-win.

[@sarahuber8567]

It IS important to talk about the down sides of wealth. We don’t hear about that much. We’re all hyper focused on how to acquire wealth.

[@carolynchristiansen9769]

I think "He" needs the prenuptial agreement. Since his fiancee is not use to working if the marriage doesn't work out, he will be paying alimony and child support for years.

[@premavida]

Ramsey's personality came out bang on, shining in the end. David I'm a huge fan & I love your divine ethics, values, and toughness, emanating from great sacrifice, discipline and consequent experience....We really need to prepare for the next big thing and it will be very hard, especially for all those who have had it way to easy and soft. Calices rule!

[@joek9542]

In North Dakota, courts have a 7 year limit on inheritance. After that it's marital assets and if up to a judge, will be split/for the value of.

[@theamaturepro]

As a teen and young adult my mom and I were always at odd over what I wanted to do and what she (very smart woman) would say I had to do. She was always right and I knew it, even at the time. Now I'm constantly asking her advice on what to do and she tells me I'm an adult and need to figure out my own choices. Lol. Things change and perspective is never absolute!

[@mbank3832]

Prenup for both sides. Done. If it’s true love, there is no problem

[@maggiew6200]

Young man you sound fabulous & hats off to you for doing such a good job with work ethic & finances & you sound like you have good character, morals & integrity & we can tell you have good work ethic so do not sell yourself short!

[@paulpetersen-iu1he]

Your marriage is doomed to failure -- not because of her Family having money, but because her family didn't raise her to work hard.

[@Sandra.-.]

Why would she if they're extremely wealthy?

[@gilligan1350]

​@Sandra.-.that mindset is what squanders the wealth three generations after it's earned

[@r.rodriguez4991]

​@@Sandra.-. You only work to make money. As long as you think the only value in work is a paycheck you'll never be happy.

[@sarazink2237]

I agree! If she doesn’t work since her family is wealthy then what she do with her time and to build character and help others? Volunteer? Especially since it sounds like he is a hard worker it may be important to marry a lady that is not opposed to hard work regardless of being well off. I wish my family was wealthy but I sure would want to have my own things going on and a cause greater than myself. Plus I don’t want my family to try to have control over my life decisions. Jus cause you have money doesn’t mean you have common sense and ethics. Some things money can’t buy

[@derekd1510]

You don't know that for certain. You don't have to have a job to work hard at things.

[@codygordon59]

This is a good situation for him. The topic was introduced without him asking. If he is going to make 500k put clauses in their prenup to protect himself.

[@kaiirosarchive]

This sounds like a script from the Ozarks 😂😂😂 those people wanna tear him apart

[@opheliamyall2554]

The signs are there. I wish him the best. He sounds very mature and grounded

[@RacleandRaHill]

LOL the caller is Sam Dermody

[@sinclairal]

Daves right... This is all messed up. They are controlling her with the money. The bigger issue is she is allowing it and if she isnt willing to tell them No, then she is choosing money over this guy and it will always be a problem. That is also why he feels weird about it- she values the money more than him.

[@ShelleySorenson]

I think she just values doing what her parents want her to do.

[@almaguillot8597]

​@@ShelleySorensonI have a friend who always does what her mom wants her to do because she's the cash cow. It's real. He couldnt verbalize it correctly or maybe he has not realized, but she will choose money all day every day because that's how she was brought up.

[@mysticaltyger2009]

@@ShelleySorenson Yeah, me, too. They raised her to be dependent on them and she is.

[@jsChelimo]

Unless he's after his in-laws' money, he shouldn't have a problem. Just make sure the prenup protects them both.

[@205rider8]

Run for the hills. You make enough money on your own!!

[@leannebuntain2614]

She is a princess and he is a hard-working guy. Leave her and her stupid family and find a better girl with similar work ethic to you. I can see what is ahead of you. This is coming from a woman. Her family will always be in your marriage.

[@shallowming]

It’s not his money anyway, don’t worry about it. Just sign a fair agreement. Prenup is a beautiful thing.

[@JGSH13]

It’s not. That family is going to control their marriage.

[@RCGuitar982]

why would you want to marry into a family that doesn't trust you. They see you wanting to marry their daughter, to commit to a life with them and they just said "thats cute, sign here". Not the relationship i'd ever want with my in-laws

[@garykeith1048]

Bullshit. Its not a beautiful thing for him. The wife's' money is his money in a joint tenancy state like Pa where I live. He needs to dump this girl who is controlled by her parents and has no backbone to stand up for him or herself.

[@veramae4098]

They REALLY need pre-marital counseling. A Catholic friend of mine was going to marry but they had to go to a LOT of counseling, much of it things they hadn't thought about. I bought a house with a long time friend but we went to a lawyer and drew up a contract which made splitting up about 7 years later calm; the lawyer too brought up a lot of important stuff we hadn't thought about. Cousins bought a house for a son when he was married (in both their names); when the son divorced her she got the house entire, my cousins were furious and said they'd only give it to their kid in the future.

[@lilolmecj]

Presumably on the wife getting the house other assets were part of the settlement. In divorce proceedings a house is just an asset, and often if children are involved the court will try to allow the children to remain in the home with the mother. But your essential advice is excellent, a premarital counselor and lawyer will certainly know lots of questions to ask that will help make an informed decision. The weight of being “given” a gift as substantial as a house can come with a very heavy price tag.

[@kay_laa]

In this situation right now. In laws control the whole family. RUN.

[@marby]

Any marriage where the in-laws are in control will not last. Good luck to him!

[@jvsaints]

We love Dave and we also know, he has set up all his family members in other ways beside a prenup. He admitted to that. One of the most important lesson to learn in life is how to set boundaries with others.

[@RonniewbNC]

Her clan will hold her inheritance over her head (and subsequently his) for the rest of their lives. Run Forrest run!

[@KathleenMcNe]

The caller should end the engagement. Should they marry, he'll be dealing with his wife's lack of ambition and a backbone, and her family's weird dynamic for the rest of his life or until they divorce.

[@ronica2623]

Maybe their wealth is so appealing to him (he mentioned their obscene wealth so many times) that he can’t say no even if it’s not in his best interest.

[@louisefigueroa8326]

It is the same thing, but I wish my daughter could meet someone like him

[@dianeschenkelberg8270]

Inheritance is the killer of ambition.

[@philipgerry5228]

You’re either all in or you’re not. A married couple needs to share everything. Money is part of everything.

[@KathleenMcNe]

Everyone who marries has a prenup: either the divorce laws of their state or a prenup they crafted.

[@RCGuitar982]

not the point. by actively making a plan in case of divorce, you are planning for divorce

[@KathleenMcNe]

@@RCGuitar982 It's exactly the point. Should there be a divorce, does the couple want its terms to be decided by a court or by a prenup they formulated?

[@RCGuitar982]

@@KathleenMcNe divorce should not be in your mind when planning to get married. That ain't healthy

[@KathleenMcNe]

@@RCGuitar982 So actively carrying auto insurance in case of an accident means one's planning to get into an auto accident?

[@RCGuitar982]

@KathleenMcNe not the same. Insurance covers you against an entire world of other people and outside influences. In A marriage, there are only 2 people in the drivers seat! You can't promise to never let anyone cause you to hit their car, but you can promise to enter a faithful marriage and be proactive about fixing problems in that marriage

[@Mr_Fairdale]

Dave already said it: family trust. Also unless each person has separate counsel then this isn't very serious.

[@SLangel18]

There’s nothing wrong with parents wanting to protect their daughter or son through a prenup. And it shouldn’t be a deal breaker and he should also protect himself as well. It’s a two way street. And most lawyers will advise is the best in terms of easy separation. It’s good to have conversations that you should be having already on paper.

[@BrianErwin]

i like how it came full circle to dave being the exact same as the caller's soon to be in-laws 😂 you have to stay together or you get nothing is a high level of control and a prenup

[@mattenderle1766]

Must be the Busch family.

[@lindsayclark4009]

I hope he takes this information from Dave to heart

[@nancypone5854]

If they're putting a house in a trust, they want to control you. It's not a gift bc they still own it - its a ball and chain. It will be a scourge in your marriage and life. Run away. She can choose to come with you, or stay wuty them. That's marriage.

[@Boomercon3000]

I am by no means rich, but I do have experience with meddling family members. If you do accept this prenup situation, you will have to be prepared,and she will have to be prepared, to force them out of the decisions in your relationship.

[@marcmorris1758]

If that’s how the family wants to play it, then he should add to the prenup that he’s allowed to retain everything they accumulate and grow that is directly tied to his income. Because you know that’s gonna be in the deca-millions eventually. If she’s protected to keep future wealth on her family’s end, he should get to keep all future wealth he builds from his toil😎.

[@cajbaf]

I agree.. that's a good compromise. He needs to talk to a good attorney and needs to have a good conversation with his fiance about letting her family control everything

[@theburnetts]

I had no idea Dave was that self aware. I really enjoyed this call to hear Dave talk very honestly about himself. I had always gotten the vibe that he is a massive control freak. I have always felt that he would be a nightmare to work for or a nightmare to have as a family member. He seems to have a much better self awareness of that than I guessed.

[@hope1527]

Sign the prenup, after you've ensured that your money will be protected. You make enough money to not need her family's money.

[@heavyd777]

Money will change the quality of your problems..... Having lots of money is like the Captain America serum. It just makes you more of what you already are.

[@michaelbodine6142]

prenup,,protects both parties, but could be useless. foreign assets, can be a disaster. TRUSTS are great!

[@kimwells8395]

Trust is a headache to some... But great to protect the money someone can receive.

[@Coryraisa]

Me too...I need complete control over my life!

[@JasRog1026]

When money is more important than love, it sucks

[@superior120v5]

excatly , like why are they even getting married. I doubt it will last, at least he has his own money.

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

The parents can do what Dave did and if they never divorce he'll share in his wife's inheritance but no reason he gets parents money if he leaves.

[@doctorposting]

@@superior120v5why wouldnt they?? weirdo

[@superior120v5]

@@doctorposting Because her family is controlling their lives, but I guess some people like being controlled. Like the original poster said in this case money is more important than love, I guess that's cool with some folks though.

[@marjamesquire8141]

divorce atty here and I always advise to get a prenup 😁 I even make it a punchline

[@RecklessKiddies]

Wouldnt a PreNup also protect him.? He’s making 300k and says 5:42 “nevr had to work” which means she dont know how to manage money, so in the event they split wouldnt a Prenup help him more so than her?

[@deb9806]

Really, I bet mom and dad picked her school, college and why did she never have to work? Doesn't she have any inclination to make her own money?

[@RecklessKiddies]

@@deb9806 facts she cant live any life if her parents are puppeteering her, like a robot , no choices are ur own

[@jasminebaby3375]

❌❌❌❌Please run! I have a friend who comes from a rich family and her family treat her husband like crap. The house they lived in now was bought for them by the family trust, the family control them on their parenting style, what schools the kids will attend and so forth. Whatever you decide make sure you get yourself a very good prenuptial attorney and have them review everything before you sign. I can’t stress enough for you to protect your asset.

[@workinprogress-ye5or]

Dave might not be concerned but he had tons of lawyers from what he said in the past, make sure NO ONE will get his money but blood. That's his choice, I get it, no inlaws that think they can leave on his money but he did think about it. A lot

[@stevenporter863]

Yep. Dave probably left a standing order with his lawyers and put it out of his mind. That is why he seems so cavalier about it.

[@kimhecht3332]

Prenups can go both ways. He can ask for what he wants. Then they can decide if they really want to be married to one another.

[@lindab2323]

There is an awful lot of autonomy being imposed by the family, but this sounds like Walton-level wealth, not a net worth of 100 million. This guy just needs to decide if he want to be a part of that. It's a different world. But if he loves this woman, that should be the determining factor, not the money.