How to Eliminate Chaos From Your Home

[@sueh2295]

Dr John you are so SMART. Love this clutter stuff...it's me. I am now talking to my dishes. Thanks I love hanging with you.

[@karlie9590]

For those people who need help and can’t get rid of their sentimental items because they remember the stories, here’s another good solution: have someone over to write down the story behind the item and take a photo. Make a little photo book with the story next to each photo. I’ve offered to do this for my mom, but she just can’t let go. She came from a family of hoarders. Her home looks nice but very full. But the storage under the house is a LOT.

[@russholly]

Thank you for this idea! My siblings and I are currently making a plan for the summer to do this for my mother and her best friend. I was working with her on decluttering multiple lifetimes (hers, her parents and her late husbands) stuff when covid hit. Then her best friend lost her husband too and moved in. Now it's multiple homes of memories crammed into our childhood home. It looks like a storehouse instead of the low maintenance home they both want and need. Everyone is getting books for Christmas and a plan to start fresh. 🙌

[@tanyarenaissance8829]

The clutter makes those people feel safe

[@tanyasc4131]

I learned to use the trash can at the gas station. Everytime I pump gas I grab any piece of trash in the vehicle I am currently driving. Even if there is only one thing like a straw wrapper. That way I no longer have to scramble to make room in my vehicle if I want someone to join me. John mentioning sorting mail before entering his home reminded me of how life changing that first habit was. I too learned to sort mail before it entered my home so it couldn't pile up anymore. The gas station trash can habit is the 2nd life changing routine I learned. My 3rd one is TBA. In open to suggestions.

[@blueseptember2174]

Indo the same with car trash except I take the trash out every store. So target, cvs, you name it. I'm hauling my car trash everytime I get out the car lol

[@LisaPFrampton]

​@@blueseptember2174ditto to both of y'all.

[@margo3367]

“It was all a façade.” That touched me.

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

The decluttering segment and call were both really helpful. As I was listening I made a sign for my living room as a visual reminder, tossed a book I haven’t touched in 3 years, emptied and tossed an old purse stuffed with old receipts, and sorted through some old mail and a half opened package. I felt so much relief once I was done. My crafting area looks so much better too 😁

[@lucilleyoung4744]

One thing I have always done, when I started working at 18, was I always change clothes as soon as I got home, then go to school. Friday evenings I did laundry and cleaned the apartment. By the time the weekend came, everything was clean and I would visit my mom and enjoy the weekend. As I got older, I would have the groceries and cook Sunday afternoon for lunches and dinner the next week.

[@karenhultgren7810]

Very helpful episode! I had terrible clutter after my Mom died almost 2 years ago. I hired an organizer to help me clean things up and organize. It’s a lot better but I still have to keep on top of it. Not militant about it. I give myself a few days to get it done. Still grieving and adjusting to Mom being gone. Some days I need to work through the grief.

[@tanyarenaissance8829]

It's really hard to let go. It's a tough process

[@kaitlinobrien243]

Dawn and Dr D beautiful wisdom!!! Dawn please keep coming by ......❤❤❤

[@pinkfreud62]

Decades ago, I got a Faberware pot from mom at Xmas, brand new in the box, but inside the pot was a little gift card that said "Love, grandma Crano" 😆😆 Guess someone didnt want poor grams pot! I still call it my grandma Crano pot. 😄

[@sbowenful]

I love this whole episode! I sooooo related and struggle with clutter and also buying "things", which eventually turns my life into torture! I especially have a "passion" for clothes, because I grew up in such a poor family and I couldn't have them as a child, therefore, I think that I deserve it, which causes the big cycle of clutter-I don't need them! Thanks John, this was great and it was amazing to see you talk about your same-same kind of issues! Great episode for me! 😊

[@lisastimpson2877]

Home Alone is the best Christmas movie!

[@LisaPFrampton]

Right up front just so that Y'all know, I subbed to your channel 😂. I have one also. But the main reason I was going to comment on your comment was to say that Home Alone is played year-round in my house, every single week, by my now 7 yr old little girl! 🤣😭

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

The first one. Second is ok. Third sucks. Merry Christmas ya filthy animal 😂

[@rebekahwilson7703]

It’s A Wonderful Life Miracle On 34th St. And Elf

[@kraykray4118]

The call with Tracy from Little Rock was particularly really helpful. Really enjoyed this show and your advice John

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

Dr. John & Team THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏 ❤ This episode is probably 30 years of therapy and $100k+ worth of impact. But more important than that, the WHY, understandably the reason behind the overwhelm, depression, anxiety, identity issues & offered motivation, hope and reframe/practical ideas. TY TY

[@sarahfarnham9520]

I LOVE DAWN !!! she has helped me get control over my life so much, just by way of her methods. I didn’t realize how much clutter was upsetting my brain. With a minimal home I feel much more in Control. Super recommend

[@ChristianOne]

I LOVED that declutter segment at the end, he hit the nail right on the head for me. I feel so excited for new beginnings!!! 🎉🎊🎈🎊🎉 Thanks John

[@nikkita1688]

Yes. Extremely relatable! I'm glad I came back to finish the video. It's what I need to go clean right now 😂

[@PCKA1987]

Seriously what I needed in this moment.

[@savannahesposito9307]

Love The Minimal Mom segment! I'm a lot like John where my biggest clutter is my book collection (seriously, 4 book shelves and still have piles of books on counters/tables). Totally relate to worrying about what if I need this book in the future to reference. I still have books from middle school and high school and I know I need to take time to start small and get rid of a couple books at a time.

[@joyofflipping2405]

I had a huge yard sale the last few years. I set it up at night and am ready in the morning. My husband was worried that stuff might get stolen... my response... "well, I hope they take it all"

[@Zielnik333]

The interview is mindblowing, thanks a million.

[@AlphaShadowSphere]

I have been steadily getting rid of things the past 3 years. Some of the stuff was easy to get rid of but some of it is really hard. I have a lot of un obtainable games, cards, toys etc. It is like giving up a piece of yourself and saying goodbye to an era.

[@AlphaShadowSphere]

I considered that but I decided to donate instead. The value to time ratio just isn't there for me.

[@darralansman9895]

Wow, I need to listen to this again! I've said, "clutter creates chaos for me." I battled it with my kids, and now with my husband. He has A LOT of stuff! His thought is, clutter looks different for different people. I've tried to reason that in shared space, it's respectful to pick up, clean up, after yourself. That hasn't been received well. So, I'm stuck; I try to reason that his space is his business. But I still have to look at it! And stuff overflows into other rooms. I am resentful about his unclean and unkept space; office, bath room, bedroom (yes, separate bedrooms, I couldn't clean around all his stuff). It's also a problem in the garage and yard. What does a boundary look like for this? I've tried just leaving messes, thinking he'd clean up without me asking again and again. Instead, looking at it, or trying to accept what I can't change just creates anxiety for me. I don't have a mutually respectful resolution?

[@AndreaMartinez-rj2iw]

Is this clutter that he actually uses, or does he just have difficulty putting things back/finding a home for things? The lady at clutterbug (KZbin channel also) could help you both figure out the difference between your natural preferences and help you get stuff put in an organized way that he will be happy with/able to find and use. 🤔

[@Brittany138]

😂 you guys are the best 🎉 AND we get y’all 3x a week! I am Canadian; we don’t say y’all but now I do.

[@Livinlife33]

John you hit it on the nail… I need to put me first

[@LisaPFrampton]

I LOOOVE that you two are friends!!!! I love you both and you've been the two greatest inspiring people in my entire life and I'll be indebt to you both for the rest of my life. ❤

[@DestinyA83]

If you're going back and forth on whether or not you don't want to keep it or you do, it's also a sign that you grew up really poor and that you are likely still really poor and that you probably know that you won't be able to afford to buy it in the future. If you throw it away now (or sure if you tried to sell it you only get 10 dollars) the replacement cost is $65 Plus, every single time you ever throw something away after holding on to it for 15 years, you need it within 48 hours 😂

[@jennifermarie8707]

😅

[@WildRootsLearning]

My two favorite people!

[@brightpage1020]

Our kids love "White Christmas"! The movie musical. "Snow" is their favorite song and they have an Auntie from Vermont so they get extra excited as if they might see her in the background of the DVD one of these days... 😆

[@ModdyPuppets]

Dang. Even just naming it “identity clutter” somehow freed me up to look at it all differently. I have such a collection of STUFF that I don’t know why I feel I need people to see, especially when I hardly ever have anyone over 😅 That stuff doesn’t actually define me. I’m gonna be having some body doubles to handle it. It’s time for it to go

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

Taking pictures 📸 of my sentiment stuff, only ordering Ebooks & audio books have helped me but I know that doesn't work for everybody. Some people like the feel of books.

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

Yeah I hate digital books . I read 1984. lol Real. old. books. They can burn them, but it’s better than alterable texts on a screen, wherewith one can be easily manipulated unknowingly.

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

52:32 WOW thank you Dr. John & caller! How much time do we get to tidy, clean, cook, exercise, shower care for ourselves? This may sound dumb but secular work was held up as most important growing up and have tried to find out if there is a normal amount of time I can spend time doing these things without feeling guilty 😔

[@caroljohnson1279]

The last caller was really helpful. I wrote down all the steps you gave her and will do it in my own home. Thank you!! 😊

[@PCKA1987]

Maybe I’m totally off base here: I think there is a place for the sports medals and guitars of our past. I do want to get past all the non sentimental clutter but I do want to have a place in my home that displays the guitars my husband and I used to play and the medals I earned in races I ran that empowered my life in that season. It’d be neat for our kids and grandkids to see those things of our life someday.

[@sheramelton3583]

The thing is...your kids and grandkids are not going to care about those things. It will mean nothing to them and they wonder why you held on to things you earned as a "kid" that mean nothing.

[@jennifermarie8707]

If you like it and aren't annoyed by it, it's not clutter to you

[@LisaPFrampton]

@The Dr. John Deloney Show The most important question i have for you, Deloney, is WHEN are you going to start your own punk rock Christian band?!?!

[@svwerner2877]

Remember♥️. I give work my first. I have piles counter, dining room table, desks, bedrooms😧

[@jcstuart6978]

Elf is so-so. A Christmas Story reigns supreme!

[@beckywilliams-fullonpurpos8008]

Two of my favorites! Great episode. 🎉

[@RG-hf4et]

Talking about regifting 🤣....At Christmas, one of my very nice sane patients brought me a box of Russel Stover chocolates with a bow on top. I thought that was nice. I opened the box later & realized the clear wrapping surrounding the candy was MISSING. Omg, the person opened the box, threw out the clear wrapping & regifted the box of candy to me. I couldn't believe it. If she had said something to the effect, "I just opened this box of chocolates & I realized I shouldn't indulge because I am on this diet so the box is opened , etc." or some other similar explanation- then I would of felt better. But please don't give opened candy as a regift!!! 🍬

[@cherylshort5005]

I am Chaos. Thank you for this show!

[@kerisallee3976]

That poor First Lady had an excuse for everything Dr John challenged her on.

[@nedawilmhoff3599]

Greatest Christmas movie is hands down White Christmas. I do not like Elf, Christmas Vacation, Nightmare before Christmas or Christmas story. They just don’t give warm sweet feelings. They might be funny one time but only for adults and dont have a positive message. My son just moved out of state because of unchristian, jerk behavior by his bosses in a large church. If The congregation has no idea what is going on. I watched my sons stress level just became too much for him. I understand the wife. Both my sons work in churches and I knew it wasn’t the best work environment just because it is a church.

[@sarahk758]

So good. Think I could watch this one 10 times and learn something new from it every time. Thanks for sharing awesome content for free 🎉❤

[@joyofflipping2405]

Body doubling! I have 2 people that come over just for the sake of me getting something done! Hi, my name is Joy and I'm the ADD posterchild!!!

[@Skyesoceaneyes]

We gave my mother in law an adult coloring book one Christmas (she loves to color and it was a subject she enjoys). The next Christmas she gave it back to us. I was really hoping to keep it going (I don't think she remembered we gave it to her) but one of my kids scribbled on a page.

[@jennifermarie8707]

Maybe the next person won't notice the page. Or care.

[@ruthmgonigle5914]

It would be funny to just keep rewrapping this every Christmas 😂

[@jennifermarie8707]

@@ruthmgonigle5914 😂 yeah, just neatly tear out the scribbled on page. Or leave it there

[@svwerner2877]

Stepmother gave me a gift my brother/sister in law gave her. She gave it to me the next Xmas left the card from them inside the gift. You can tell she really liked me😂

[@JoyleiaJo]

" There is something protective about the chaos.. "

[@christinad5532]

The nightmare before Christmas is the live laugh love of goth girls 😂

[@jsomebody2289]

Laughing so hard when you said , 'there's nothijg like giving a book about someones anxiety to them. My best friend and I quit doing Christmas gifts after she gave me 'Emotions' by Charles Stanley one year.

[@scrapykat3028]

Try getting ready to retire and move?!? Yes, I grew up without a lot! I’ve been hungry! Really hungry trying hard to do my best going to work with holes in my shoes! Sooo… now, I have money!! I’m trying to make up for that I have stuff and I prep! I’m so scared that when I retire, I’ll be hungry again and without again and shoes with holes again or worse, living out on the street! PS… I just bought more hangers!

[@kraykray4118]

This show was absolutely fantastic! Well done John and team. Great advice and brilliant to have Dawn on there too. @dawn I am going to borrow your confidence if that's OK 😂

[@jaimefernandez7054]

😂 I make sure you don't take us off the air.

[@benascg-ll7sq]

Call 1 : how about the wife telling her grumpy husband that she used to be happy to see him coming back home until the grumpy by default mode turned enthusiasm into apprehension?

[@TheImperfectReader]

I love the regift!

[@carolepoirier1924]

Just got the book! Can’t wait to get into it! 🎉

[@jtik6135]

My sister and I live states away from each other... we video chat to clean together!

[@svwerner2877]

Don’t forget to Remember!

[@bstarjam466]

Hopefully, it was in jest, but why is it off-putting for a hunting, rock loving, tattooed guy to like a woman who de-clutters homes?

[@lynngreen9637]

Tracy, you might try picking up or tidying up for at least 10 minutes a day, every day. It’s a great hack because everyone has 10 minutes.

[@NathanT33]

“Oooo… he works for Jesus. That gets dicey.” 😂😂💀

[@AtlasZero13]

Best Christmas movie- A Christmas story has left the chat

[@chicksue7030]

I laughed WAY too hard at the doo doo part in the intro segment 😂😂

[@rebekahwilson7703]

“Ooh he works for Jesus:that gets dicey.”😂🤣😆

[@tomnohmy1273]

Love big DJs humor

[@stephlalalitta]

Best show

[@karenpyra5200]

Elf awful. It’s a wonderful life is the best Christmas movie of all time. Second best is a tie between a Christmas story and white Christmas

[@pennyk1943]

Don’t like Elf movie. Totally re gift a gift. Most gifts are things that you normally would not buy or like.

[@samuelpayne5460]

I have never seen this guy get it right. If the husband is fulfilled at his job, but comes home “grumpy”, and then complains about his job, then he’s either lying about liking his job, or he’s too scared of how his wife will react to tell her what is actually bothering him. This is the problem… men are not allowed to say the truth bc if men do, then this same lady will call the “therapist” and the “therapist” will be a simp and side with her and blast the husband. It’s really sick! So, men are resigned to bottling up their actual thoughts on things bc they lose either way.

[@nikkita1688]

There are more options than that. Some men just take advantage of meek women and use them as a punching bag, verbally or literally.

[@butreally289]

And nothing makes mom more grumpy than having her husband be a pig when he comes home.

[@AuntGrace]

Thanks 🎉🎉🎉

[@ruthmayeda4510]

Why not give the books to a friend? Maybe give them to a library 🤔

[@Tha_G0at]

I'm on a mission

[@nathanroark3339]

Elf is such an overrated movie, Will Ferrell in general is overrated I don't think he's funny

[@jennifershray4962]

The husband has to fix it. He has choices, leave his job, change your mind-set, get therapy, maybe there is more to it with the job. Maybe he is disillusion with church. It's his mindset, how he reacts to the situation.

[@kissed_by_sunshine_10]

I hate the word disease. Everything's a disease these days. That's just an excuse. A bad habit and addiction is a fckg choice.

[@Piccolo_Re]

Ownership. Bam! It’s like Adam blaming God and Eve for him and Eve eating the apple. Adam was there and he could have stopped Eve but he didn’t do it. It was Adam’s fault and not Eve’s nor God’s for creating Eve.

[@blueseptember2174]

See I look at it like he couldn't stop her because she had free will but he should have definitely had accountability and stopped himself. Let her do her thing but you for yourself try to have the moral highgound.

[@mmkvoe6342]

And then when she would die and leave paradise etc., and he wouldn't...where would humanity be? It was definitely a "necessary evil" kind of situation...

[@nikkita1688]

​@@blueseptember2174 I would hope people who love each other warn about bad plans like that... but of course, we have no idea what was said.

[@jonathanfitzsimons786]

Men must hide there emotions?

[@blueseptember2174]

No you're allowed to be mad or whatever but stop taking it out on everyone else. Kids learn this all the time.

[@JoyleiaJo]

Inventory vs. useful Resources ??