THIS is the problem now...(Insomnia Insight

[@mistermichael6911]

Thank you! You're insight is incredible. This is pure CBT in my opinion. But you understand and explain it better than any CBT therapists Ive ever heard!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

🤗🙏!

[@Sunflowersarepretty]

I have experienced it when I started understanding the teachings here. I understood that anxiety was keeping me up. Once that sank in i experienced the silent hyperarousal where i still wasn't sleeping well. I felt like since i understood what's happening why doesn't my brain register anymore that there's no threat? There's no grizzly bear only grizzly fear ( i love this phrase honestly) turns out just the anticipation of whether sleep would happen and would I sleep the night? were still happening in the background as part of the safety mechanism in our brains. Now i know its impossible to fully lower the worry to zero and we're only learning to let the anxiety and all the sensations pass by that teaches our brain that it's not productive to do this every night when there's no threat. When we don't respond by trying to fight or ignore those sensations it eventually gets the message. Tho It takes such a long time 😅. Im still grateful that i can confidently say im in a better place than last year where i was so scared and started disliking nights. Now im fine and grateful with whatever sleep i do get.

[@susanashley8454]

@@Sunflowersarepretty Your very last sentence...YES!!!

[@Sunflowersarepretty]

@@susanashley8454 I was about to tag you funnily because I could relate to the fact that I get sleepy other times but it goes away when I actually go to bed or I know that if I go to bed say to nap I know for sure that sleepiness will be gone 😅😅

[@vassybaby16]

Tell me about it! 10 months into the insomnia journey. Sleep has gotten a lot better. When I first had issues I would sleep maybe an hour a night. I sleep 6-8 now. On bad nights it’s 6 with a lot of wakings but on good nights it’s can be almost no wakings and a full 8. I also go weeks were I’m fine and then randomly will have a bad day or 2.

[@lunalinguine]

Makes so much sense and so helpful as always, Daniel! Thank you! From what I've learned from your channel, and from my experience, I think when our brains learn the "why" for our insomnia and the brain knows, "ok, in order to sleep, I'm not supposed to be worried about sleep", it's almost like it can feign calmness because it's trying to "do the right thing" to help protect us from this (imaginary) threat. So like you said, wondering why we're still not sleeping even when calm is the tip-off we're not actually calm! I try to have much patience for myself and my brain when I realize this is happening. It's not easy and rarely if ever do I like it. But I'm also a trauma therapist and I know the brain needs repeated, lived experiences of safety to slooowly relinquish it's defenses. It takes as long as it takes, but the nice thing about healing like this is it stays with you for life. I keep holding onto my north star as you've said, Daniel. Thank you so much as always!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Wow, thanks so much! For the support and for what we call the gold in the comment section, wonderful insight 😊🙏!!

[@Judith46795]

I have not got hyperarousal, overthinking, worrying, and I still can't sleep

[@susanashley8454]

I'm kinda thinking at this point that as long as the matter of sleep hits the brain - even the tiniest bit - no matter how calm I am - that's it, I'm gonna have a harder time falling asleep. And the reason I say this is because I notice that every, single time ...and I mean every time my attention is fully and completely given to some night time activity at hand (watching something really attention grabbing in TV m, reading a great book) I fight to keep my eyes open! Because at that particular moment, sleep is the last thing on my mind. So naturally, it comes sneaking up on me and hits me over the head. The challenge for me has now become, when sleep sneaks up on me like that, can I fall right back asleep after making it into bed. 😏 Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Susan, you’re seeing something that is so true and valuable, that when we aren’t attempting to sleep it happens by itself. Now, I’ve heard this sooo many times “Daniel, the last thing I remember from last night is thinking ‘I’m not gonna get a wink of sleep’, and then I woke up in the morning”. Which shows that it’s not one random thought that keeps us awake, but how we react to this thought. Do we wonder if it’s true? Do we predict if it’s accurate? Do we think that because we had this thought we won’t sleep and try to disprove it? Because THAT can keep us up! Not just having a single fleeting thought. Hope this makes sense and - rooting for you!

[@mestayno]

I often feel "not anxious at all". Then after hours of being awake I get up and do something and after about 20-30 minutes I get super sleepy :) But from those experiences I already know that yes I'm still hyperaroused.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Great point! Thanks for sharing here 🙂

[@rachelschnitzler6191]

Hi Daniel Thank you for this video. Would you be able to talk about insomnia when it’s change of season? I am very sensitive to change of weather/season/and the days getting shorter. I find myself struggling with sleep this week. There is this background unease in my body even though nothing is going on. I have a hard time, falling asleep, staying asleep and when I do sleep, it’s very shallow sleep.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime! And yes will add to the list. It will be along the lines of episode insomnia insight 513 where we see that many things can by themselves, regardless of how we think about them, cause some sleep disruption… but only our fear of not sleeping creates insomnia. Hope that episode can help!

[@mariannegalindo9040]

I’m here because I’m “there”! 🥴

[@happychahar5750]

Hii Daniel So now I understand that the main problem with me is that I'm wondering so much about sleep. But Daniel I feel that I can't stop myself from wondering . It feels as if my mind is running very fast and I just can't stop it. I just want some peace of mind. Is there some easy way to stop wondering much?

[@Sunflowersarepretty]

I could suggest letting it happen. Anytime you do get racing thoughts let them pass by instead of trying to push them away or fighting them. Only be aware that you're having racing thoughts and tell your mind to bring it all because there's no reason to worry. Also let yourself know that sleep is passive and you're not trying to get to sleep by shutting the thoughts or worrying about them. This was a game changer for me. (I'm saying this because I've been dealing with it and this is how my sleeping problems started. What I find effective is to just tell myself in my mind that whatever it'll do I'll not resist it. If thoughts do occur just let them be while being aware. I have learned this from mediation and from this channel. What you resist persists.) ❤

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi! Sunflowesarepretty said it so well, it’s a paradox but when we try to stop wondering it happens more. When we simply acknowledge it, it fades 🙂

[@shinchintai7]

Thank you for this insight, years later I’m still tuning into your videos after being a guest, I’ve had some speed bumps along the way but I’m still enjoying your content, learning, and seeing the many recovery stories! I hope you are well Daniel!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime 😊! Thanks so much for being in touch and for the support 🙏

[@seanking6184]

Guilty, I start off calm and I feel calm in myself but after awhile I get hidden arousal because I’m pondering why I’m not asleep which then leads to additional hyperarousal because I get frustrated. Is there a way to address this?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Sean, no reason for self criticism, we all can recognize ourselves 😊 What helps so much is the clarity you have, now next time you can go “aha, there’s some fear of not sleeping, and I’m invited to befriend wakefulness”, and instead of frustration that you may not sleep, you can find okayness with what comes your way

How do we completely get rid of the “concern”? In your other videos Ive gathered that even if you’re hyperaroused, it’s still possible to get some sleep and I THINK that’s where I am now. I still wonder/ponder “am i gonna sleep? Am i gonna wake up in the middle of the night?” Altho Im now “okay” with it, it’s still on my mind. As a result I feel even tho I do get sleep, I wake up a little tired everytime 😞

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

I’d say the concern fades away by itself as we have the understanding there’s nothing that requires us to be concerned. Oh and maybe check our unrefreshing sleep playlist, it’s often when we see that other things play much more of a role when it comes to feeling tired than sleep that we start feeling more refreshed

[@Daniel-oh2wc]

Hi Daniel . I have a question , please answer it if you have time . Is there any of your episodes explaining the Images and voices that come in our mind before falling asleep ? The last few days have been rough for me trying to fall asleep , because I’m hyperarousal , and hyper aware of everything when I’m in bed . So for example I’m thinking about my dog , and that tought suddenly changes to some guys playing soccer in Paris ?! Or a voice telling me too look back ? I get so scared and I immediately have my eyes wide open and have to pee . I didn’t find ONE video on KZbin trying to explain this . Wish you all the best . Daniel

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi! These are called hypnagogic hallucinations and are very common. You can read up and also check Heard online 4 and insomnia insight 306. Hyperarousal makes us extra aware!

[@nkundwashanice574]

Hey I recovered from insomnia but I think that's how people sleep. It happens to me too when am falling asleep but I vividly can't remember the images. For now it's not images;When I close my eyes it's like random thoughts and everything I looked at during the day keeps appearing one after the other until I fall asleep

[@markphilipsz317]

I feel the same no anxiety just calm and relaxed but still can’t sleep just don’t understand why .

[@OfficialGaming11_]

As you mentioned “just don’t understand why” that’s the silent hyperarousal. As your still thinking the big “why” then that can lead to different thoughts and so on

[@Judith46795]

Thats how I am. Calm not worrying about anything. Cant sleep

[@OfficialGaming11_]

@@Judith46795 it’s our brain patterns we got use to it. Because deep down we are worried

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

@Judith46795 hope this video can help Judith, rooting for you

[@vassybaby16]

This happened to me the other night. As I relaxed in bed the why hit me. Sometimes if I participate in active thinking I will stay up vs just letting the thoughts pass through

[@newseamus]

Yep. I am up at 2-3 am every night still even though it doesn’t bother me. I read for a while and go back to sleep without much thought about it. But yeah, still wake up every night. I figure it will just get better on its own??? I now fall asleep quickly at beginning of night and usually sleep until alarm in the morning or close to it. Definitely better but only the mid-night awakening remains.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Yes, just like everything else on this journey, as we don’t think it strange and don’t try to stop it… it fades on its own 🙂

[@InChristAlone2024]

Hey Daniel, I've got an experience regarding what this video is covering. Is there a way i could DM you or contact you?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi! No I don’t reply to DMs but feel free to share here

[@InChristAlone2024]

@thesleepcoachschool8192 My story starts early this year, I was laying in bed one night and noticed it was late, and I didn't feel tired. I didn't sweat it, though. I just decided to stay up all night so when I get off work I would feel tired and that's all. That night when I laid down in the bed I closed my eyes but I couldn't even begin to dose off. I should say that at this time I was 26 and I'm the type of person who could lay my head down anywhere and fall asleep with no issues ever, in fact I could fall asleep so well and so often my parents thought I had vitamin imbalance or a condition. In the past I've also been worried about getting enough sleep before work or school at times, although the fears of not getting rest never stopped me from actually getting to sleep. This time was very sudden very sporadic. I stayed awake for almost 3 days until I finally fell asleep after taking Zquil and some over the counter natural relaxing supplements, I should say at this time I didn't really feel exhausted but I did sleep, after that night the following night I did the same thing and got a little rest. From there I got back to normal within about a week or more. Now the latter half of this year I've entered into a new episode of insomnia, I do get alot of anxiety about my health and my ability to sleep, what confuses me the most is the part where I don't feel tired at all when under normal circumstances I would feel like passing out from exhaustion. I hope this all makes since. Any advice or questions would be appreciated.

[@CHRIS-k6e]

I want to join bedtyme. Is the chatbot ellie updated to all your latest teachings? I ask because I have seen that your teaching aged like fine wine.😅 and I avoid traditional.cbti

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Haha they have gotten nicer I believe 😊 Yes, Ellie is very much up to date!