How to leave the CONSTANT hyperarousal (Insomnia Insight

[@namrahshah3256]

One thing I want to add here is that fear is not only of one type, fear can be physical like palpitations, dizziness as Daniel mentioned. But it can be your thoughts that is psychological which is the What If Thoughts. When insomnia happens our brain starts to find a reason to put blame upon. That’s where the thought process begin, you start thinking what if I’m having this, what if I’m having that. What we need to do is to acknowledge these thoughts as hidden fears which are keeping us in the loop. Sometimes what happens is that we put blame on things for sleep deprivation in my case I used to think of every possibility which happened with somebody else might happen with. My message to everyone here is that this channel tells you what is happening to your body ? It is not just insomnia but every fear we have in our mind. Acknowledging our fears, facing them, and letting our brain do its job will help you get out of this rabbit hole. Stay strong , the journey might be bumpy , but your consistency to learn will help you a lot 💕

[@quickpstuts412]

This is the answer. It's difficult to grasp this when you're in it, but once you're out of it you realize this was you have to do.

[@ItsTatful]

How exactly do you face ur fears and such? Like what happens when the thoughts come during nighttime ?

[@quickpstuts412]

@@ItsTatful Accept them. If you think about it, you are afraid of your thoughts so that is keeping you stuck. If you just watch them like a movie and talk back to them, they don't bother you as much. The key is to stop resisting and fearing it. It takes time. The more you resist what is happening the more afraid you get. On nights where I sat and waited for my scary thoughts to come were my best nights. I was open to them instead of fearing them. It's all mental.

[@ItsTatful]

@@quickpstuts412 what do you say to them?

[@quickpstuts412]

@@ItsTatful "Here my thoughts go again....trying to scare me into believing all these horrible things will happen." I would get in bed at night EXPECTING them. But when I expect them the don't come. It's the fear of them that is keeping you stuck. Keep listening to them like watching a movie and try not to react and go down the rabbit hole of believing. 90% of what you fear never happens. Remember that. Over time you start to see you are less afraid and gradually sleeping better, etc. That gradual improvement is what slows the worry and eventually it will leave. What you RESIST persists. If you are afraid you know you are resisting the thoughts. Let them come. Listen to them and answer back. Sounds crazy but staying AWARE versus reacting is the key.

[@CarmenRogers-x9y]

What really helped me was validating my fear - that normalized it for me. When I become fearful about not sleeping, I remind myself that it is very normal as my brain remembers it as an unpleasant experience and doesn't want it to happen again. For me, I think I had developed a very strong habit of worrying my entire life. It was a way of trying to keep myself safe and prepared. Worrying, unfortunately, doesn't really help insomnia, but I think on some level I really believed that worrying would keep me safe....that's why I think it's been so difficult to let go of my fear of insomnia. Again, on some rather immature level, I think the fear is that if I let go of the fear, I would lose my ability to sleep. But the good news is we can't lose our ability to sleep any more than we can force sleep. I think insomnia is the result of some deep wounds - or at least it has been for me. I think now that maybe insomnia is an invitation to trust and know that everything will be ok. Idk if all that makes sense - just how it's been for me and wanted to share in case it helps someone else.❤

[@straightflush6095]

But how to deal with the brutal, painful emotions at daytime? The anxiety, the racing heart, the sweating, the depression and deep sadness. That's what's hard for me.

[@CarmenRogers-x9y]

I suppose it's different for everyone, but I know for me, I feel better when I allow myself to feel the fear, and then I can see that it's not harmful. I know that it's hard. Be kind and patient with yourself and know that you're not alone. Much peace and comfort to you!❤

[@ianquigley5070]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts/experiences. I found it really helpful and it very much mirrors the path I'm on. Not always easy, but feels the way to make progress on my own journey towards peace

[@RadhikaNanda-k1d]

But what if the fear is feeling so awful and not being able to function and in practice that’s the reality of how it feels, so it’s hard not to worry about the fear. Because CBT tells you it’s not that bad when in reality a night of no sleep across a few nights really is.

[@Butterflywishes-rf9dt]

​@@RadhikaNanda-k1d- SO true ....then what do you do? I mean how are you coping with it when you can't function well & its delitating you? - pls let me know? .........I really have to get myself to learn to sleep again???❤

[@prajaktagodbole]

Thank you, Daniel for how you teach this. There is so much kindness. Sometimes when I cannot fall asleep, I just play your playlist to listen to your voice and the various topics that serve as reminders. I fall asleep after a while.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime, thank you so much for the support 😊🙏

[@hrtalktest5543]

I started with insomnia over a year ago. Coach Daniel has helped me so much, and I've really come a long way. Sometimes I think I'm close to leaving insomnia behind forever. I recently came off a 10-week stretch of pretty much pre-insomnia sleep, but the past two weeks have been choppy, some some good nights and some lousy ones. I very rarely feel sleepy at night when it's close to bedtime, even during stretches of good sleep. I have proven I don't need to feel super-tired or sleepy in order to sleep, but not feeling this way leads to some stress and anxiousness and that leads to a difficult night. It's hard to tell if I'm just not sleepy, or if the hyperarousal masks the sleepiness ... kind of a chicken or the egg situation.

[@theloveofjesustransforms8183]

I completely understand 💕💕💕💕🌻

[@sumantsingh3981]

When i was suffering from insomnia the most two years back , this is the channel i aways rushed to reduce my anxiety. I always get most of my answers listening to interviews daniel does. I am so glad and grateful to daniel for everything he is putting out . Such a great guy. And anyone reading this who is struggling from insomnia , the best thing i did and you can too is to stop giving any importance to sleep , take away the power from it . Doesnt matter how many hours of sleep you get , just power through every time and over time you will never think about it and will get back on track and listening to rain sounds while trying to sleep also helped a lot . Cheers guys everybody gonna get back to the sleep they always wanted .

[@sharang747]

Daniel you may also benefit from looking at nervous system dis regulation. It’s more than just fear of fear it’s now an adrenalised system that runs on cortisol and bouts of unexpected cortisol in the body coming out at random times. So meditation does not work for everyone some people need to run and punch a bad boxing to help the system calm back down. Fight flight and freeze is at the bottom to move up the ladder you need to go through fight and flight.

[@JumpRopeQueen]

I Absolutely agree!

[@bobGmitter]

Allow anxiety. What you resist will persist.

[@Shollyme]

I've been dealing with Insomnia since I got diagnosed with Hashimotos. The problem is, I am very much confused. One day I sleep well, the other day I just can't, I don't know if its because of my way of thinking, or because of my thyroid. I also built some kind of anxiety, no matter how good I slept last night, I always kinda think about it when I go to bed. Sometimes I just fall asleep, sometimes I don't. Thanks to your videos, I learned to go easy on myself, I am not getting frustrated or worried like I used to do, and that helped me a lot.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hang in there! Check insomnia insight 386, that can really help, rooting for you

[@Shollyme]

​@@thesleepcoachschool8192That's exactly how I look at it! Good thing, I am jobless, so I have more time to figure it out, I mean, be even more wise about it. Thank you for the reply coach, it really means a lot.

[@HomeschoolShoppingChannel]

Good day, Coach Daniel! Long time viewer, former insomniac. “Former” haha. It still happens occasionally. But I have learned so many lessons. Your book was a turning point for me. If you ever want another success story guest or testimonial, please let me know. :)

[@danh2310]

There's so many barriers to knock down when overcoming insomnia. Even when you've beat the thoughts that make you struggle and you remain calm and stick to positive routines. Still seem to have bad nights.

[@Rosa2O6]

Needed this today Daniel! My nervous system instantly relaxes when I see a new video of yours. And this one specifically was a great reminder of how to approach other struggles with the lessons we learn from insomnia. Thank you!

[@Nehakaur2000]

I guess the most difficult thing I am finding about Daniels' teachings is to stop expecting sleep. It feels heartbreaking for me to accept that this is my reality - as sleep is something I loved and used to come so effortlessly to me, I used to sleep like a baby every night. I know the more I crave , want and hope for sleep - the more it eludes me. I average 3 or 4 hours every night and then my body will crash for one night and then the vicious cycle starts up again. When I do get the odd night of where I sleep more than 5 hours, my brain automatically starts asking me "Will we sleep again tonight?" or then my brain automatically starts expecting sleep the following night, and I notice it starts monitoring my sleep subconsciously - when I try to close my eyes at night, my brain automatically starts questioning "are we asleep yet?". What do I tell my brain when it starts expecting sleep again?

[@Nehakaur2000]

It feels heartbreaking to just say to my brain "Yes, we may have had a good night yesterday, but you can't expect to sleep more than 6 hours again"... Normal sleepers expect that they will sleep every night, and low and behold they are able to knock out in minutes and fall asleep. So it seems so unfair that I have to tell my brain and mentally prepare for another wakeful night of suffering and being so tired but still not asleep. Will I not recover from insomnia if I keep continuing to hope that my sleep will return to normal soon?

[@guppy1776]

I relate a lot to the heartbreaking feeling, and the automatic expecting and monitoring is difficult for me as well but something that has helped me is basically making a "deal" with myself that I accept and let go of sleep in the short term to get it back in the long term. I think our brains hear something like "stop expecting sleep" and its reaction is, "what?! you want me to just be okay with having insomnia FOREVER?!" but that isn't what it means. "Stop expecting sleep" to me means accepting that right now, I'm in a struggle. Tonight, I might not sleep well, and I accept it and I will make the most of it, because I trust that I am seeding the ground for greater peace of mind in the future if I can help my brain to relax and let go.

[@Nehakaur2000]

@@guppy1776 wow that’s true thank you🥺, I was wondering tho if I hope to recover from insomnia does this mean I won’t recover ? Since when I hope to get a good nights sleep - I’m unable to sleep because the more I want it. Is this the same for recovery ?

[@mich_cadx]

A big misconception about acceptance is that it means "I have to enjoy this." or "or I have to be OK with this forever." So I also naturally found acceptance hard to embody. What I found helped me is starting off by asking myself can I "tolerate" insomnia/wakefulness this very night. Not forever. Just right now. Also "tolerating" it felt easier to access for me than "accepting". Cuz toleranting meant I'm allowed to be unhappy about this, but I also have to deal with its presence. So I'm not happy, but I'm just going to let it be here with me. Iguess I can do that. That small shift allowed me to move towards acceptance more naturally overtime.

[@pattychristison4121]

Yes, sit with fear-don’t run from it- identify the thoughts behind the fear then show your brain what is true…..what is a more beneficial thought to dwell on.

[@Dajlec]

Exactly my problem. Exactly. Thank you so much for making me feel better.

[@rockethq2073]

Daniel, I just want to thank you so much for your books and videos. I’ve been having a rough time with hypnic jerks/awareness and insomnia. Back in April I went 9 days with no sleep at all! Finding your KZbin channel and buying and reading Set it and Forget it and This is Natto, and working with the information and teachings you provide has been my saving grace. I’m still on the journey but little by little my anxiety, hypnic jerks and insomnia are improving! I am currently in the Yo-yo stage of good night and bad nights but improving all the time - thanks to you! I have learned so much and feel so much more positive, empowered and accepting of my situation. And as a result it’s getting better! You are doing great work. Thank you SO much. ❤

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So so glad to read these lines 😊🙏!!

[@IQscan51]

I feel your pain. I often go 3 to 5 days with no sleep at all. And the only reason it doesn't go longer is because I give in and take a sleeping pill.

[@user-mp9lq3xv5b]

Please help i have sever insomnia i cant sleep at all , please how is your situation now ? I’m really depressed please share your experience

[@rockethq2073]

@@user-mp9lq3xv5b I’m so sorry I didn’t see this before. Hang in there! It does get better but it takes some work. The biggest things that have helped me have been understanding that my brain is perceiving not sleeping as a threat and therefore I’m in too much of a hyperaroused state to sleep when I try to do so. And trying to do so does the opposite and just makes you more stressed and hyperaroused. Training that hyperarousal out of your brain is quite hard but it can be done. Once I realised that even on no sleep I can do my job successfully, have a nice day with friends and function just fine (even though it’s tough because you’re so exhausted and feel rubbish), I started to stop being afraid of being awake. Then I was able to do things I actively enjoyed in the night that I usually don’t have time for. Once I could do that I was able to (mostly) accept it when I didn’t sleep and before I knew it I started to sleep without trying. My brain simply felt less under threat and allowed me to drift off. Not every night. But I went from no sleep at all for 9 days in a row to good nights and bad nights. I then slept well for awhile. I then hit a speed bump where I felt fine with being awake at night but I was still having the adrenaline rushes and feelings of panic in my chest when I would go to bed/read my book in bed/try and sleep. I then realised it was the fear of feeling that fear/panic/anxiety/adrenaline that my brain was now perceiving as a new threat and so I was back on a state of hyperarousal. Guy Meadow’s The Sleep Book encouraged me to sit with the discomfort of those feelings and welcome them in, as did a video with Daniel and Coach Michelle. It’s not easy and took me actively doing it and talking aloud to my fear when it arrived every single night and telling it I was grateful to it for trying to protect me, for several nights but it has worked and I am now much less anxious at night and sleeping well. I even drew my fear, anxiety and adrenaline as little silly characters I could talk to and welcome in and sit with. It made them less scary. I also found when the insomnia was at its worse that getting up at 6/7am for work, even if I hadn’t fallen asleep until 4am and pushing through built up more sleep drive and that helped get me to sleep too. Everyone is different and for me all of this took lots of practise and perseverance and it is hard, I won’t lie. But it all worked and I’m doing so much better. I expect some speed bumps will happen again but I’m ready for them. Definitely read Set it and Forget it and This is Natto, and Tales of Courage and read Guy Meadow’s The Sleep Book too. Hang in there, remember the harder you try to sleep the more it eludes you. You can sleep again, your body knows how, but your brain feels too threatened to allow it. It just needs to learn that there is no threat. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s such an awful thing to go through and one of the hardest things I have ever been through but I can honestly say I have learned so much that now applies to other aspects of my life. And it will get better for you too!

[@rockethq2073]

@@IQscan51 it’s so tough! I hope you’re doing a lot better now!

[@elainep.204]

I needed this so so much today! I had a light bulb moment watching this video that this is exactly my struggle. Last night I kept waking up the first 90 minutes or so (I didn't check the time but I'm guessing that's how long it was). I was tempted to take a sleeping pill but thot nah ill just keep resting, being okay with being awake. I had some anxiety but i reminded myself that its okay to be resting and not sleeping. And I fell into a deep sleep. I'm super tired today but also anxious. I was confused why, because I hadn't struggled much with being awake last night. But I now understand... I'm still in this fear of fear place. As soon as I realized this, some of the pressure I felt lifted!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So wonderful reading these lines 😊! Thanks for sharing 🙏🙏

[@maxiscece]

Finally 🎉

[@sergeipravosud1848]

Yeah the same happened to me after several good nights! Fear of fear

[@svetlana9406]

Daniel,it would be super if your books could be translated in russian language! So many people need this precious information that you give.I suffer from insomnia already 6 years,but tour videos help me to motivate myself and to believe that im stronger that my fear...Im happy,that i speak English) there is no content similar to your's on KZbin.Thank you so much!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you found your way here Svetlana, and you know, if you or anyone you know would like to buy the rights and translate them, that would be amazing. There’s sooo much to do and I just can’t do it myself. But one day we will get to all done 😊

[@bobGmitter]

This is my problem, thank you so much.

[@michaelcohen7088]

I am not sure how you can say you will realise being awake is not so bad and the fear of it will subside by itself if not for fearing fear itself. 1 sleepless night you still feel ok,2nd feeling worse, 3 or 4 in a row ,barely able to go to work, weakness in the chest and limbs even heart.The fear just rises and rises as the fear and terror of having to give up your job and maybe dying ..

[@nkundwashanice574]

Being awake is bad as a result of not sleeping but you finding coping mechanisms will help because you def. can't sleep. There are days I could lie down just to put my tired body down when sleep had totally failed. Accepting that sleep may never happen for you and you are here to live with whatever pain you have is the key to sleeping again. That is how I started sleeping again. That's how I stopped fearing death. Before insomnia I had anxiety around death but after recovering I don't have any fear at all. Talk of any fear;I had it when I suffered insomnia. Its not an easy journey though but you eventually land. I did and you can too. Goodluck

[@sharang747]

When you teach people being awake is safe your also working on their deeper autonomic nervous system around being calmer by befriending the anxiety. It helps us be in our body and not disassociate by overriding our impulses. Not panicking rather being with it

[@khole15]

Well, thats very helpful for people with anxiety. But what about those with chronic insomnia that doesnt have any anxiety????

[@ahmadaskar3360]

@@khole15 it is literally anxiety, if all of a sudden when you go to sleep, you feel awake, that is anxiety, I used to have that and the video is the solution

[@Seriouslynotme234]

How can I stop being afraid of not sleeping, when clearly I will feel awful/have to skip work if I don't sleep? It's a vicious cycle, but the fact that there will be awful consequences is real. I can't pretent I don't care and don't mind :(

[@murphs7146]

I have this exact same problem. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself it doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep I KNOW it does

[@Seriouslynotme234]

@@murphs7146 exactly!!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Thanks for your comment!! Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.

[@elinamakeva2270]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 When is the next q&a session??? Would really like to ask a few questions..

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

@elinamakeva2270 hi! Usually on Wednesdays but they are different times. Turn on notifications 🔔 so you don’t miss it. Oh and we have one in 20 minutes on instagram! 9 am pacific time

[@TW-fn4lr]

What if a thought of upcoming long drive in a few days already creates the constant hyperarousal? The thought that I may not sleep a wink the night before consumes my mind all day. I’m ok with being tired when I’m around home but driving for a few hours scares me.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

It’s really always thoughts that create hyperarousal… but it’s when we think of the hyperarousal as something that we want to get away from, that’s when it can be constant because it now becomes a loop. So the hyperarousal is also what we need, because it’s when we are willing to experience it that we teach ourselves that it’s safe to experience, and then the looping fades away. Easy to say I know, but - I believe this is how we leave the struggle.. rooting for you

[@TW-fn4lr]

Thank you. It all makes sense and actually helps me in any other circumstance but I can’t find peace thinking that driving with no sleep is safe, because it’s not. Trying to stay positive though 🙏🏻

[@tannertarggart8304]

@@TW-fn4lru figure it out?

[@wednesdayschild3627]

Every time I get upset, the gut starts. I cannot sleep. Hotflashes started this.

[@bunnyvolg4751]

Thanks Daniel! Keep up the good work

[@hugotielen]

Did you do something with the lighting in your room? It just looks so good and well balanced now 😊

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Hugo - I started using my iPhone to record, it works really well 😊!

[@hugotielen]

Using your Iphone? That sounds like a downgrade but apparently it's not 😊

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

@hugotielen I know right? But those cameras in our phones are getting so good!

[@hotpancakes9814]

Hello, I just bought “Set it and Forget It” and saw your comment on another video where you say you changed your views on some things a bit since you wrote it - specifically something to do with a sleep window. Were there any other things in the book that you may have changed your perspective on? Thanks!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi! Yes - the 17 hour rule chapter, I didn’t emphasize enough there that sleep drive does NOT matter at all. Yes, we can have some wakefulness until later if we sleep later, but that doesn’t matter when we aren’t afraid of being awake. Thanks for getting it!

[@victoriasoodak6731]

There is a lot to be afraid of in not sleeping, primarily not being able to function the next day, and that is a pretty bad something that happens to you.

[@frederikneuchsveramarrero9647]

Im finding my self in a situation where I have years of experience with insomnia, and at the moment I have my biggest episode (5 months and counting) and actually I’m very chill about it and have accepted it as a part of my. But still it’s like my body reacts to going to bed and I lie half awake for hours, even if I don’t care about not sleeping, it’s like I just can’t hit the deeper sleep… Any recommendations?

[@leafsleafsleafs2]

@@frederikneuchsveramarrero9647 seems like it just takes time from what I have learned so far. How are you doing

[@billgeoghegan4822]

What if the fear is not of wakefulness, but of sleeping? For example, what if the person feels unsafe being asleep, or is anticipating sleep being disrupted by an unpredictable, noisy environment? I have such ingrained fears from my childhood that have led to persistent sleep problems as an adult. I also have mild OCD around locking doors and windows at night before bed, which is probably also due to fears and safety issues stemming from childhood. Thank you for any thoughts.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Bill, this is such an insightful question. Any fear we have can make us scared to sleep, because it’s a vulnerable state. So it is with insomnia, our SPECIFIC fear of not sleeping comes with the GENERAL fear to sleep when our brain perceives a threat. So although we focus on our teachings on insomnia as a result of a fear of not sleeping, we actually have both. To use your example, worrying that sleep will be disrupted is a fear of not sleeping which keeps you awake which is evidence that the brain is afraid to sleep. With this said, what matters is how we see that it doesn’t matter if it’s fear or not sleeping, of sleeping, of feeling anxious or anything else that is not an actual threat! We can treat all these fears in the same generic way, education + exposure + self kindness and we find things get easier and easier 😊

[@billgeoghegan4822]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I'm one of the ones who has struggled for decades with this issue. Both the cause and my response to it are so deep and ingrained that it seems almost insurmountable. I'm reading your book and appreciate the wisdom of your approach to healing insomnia. 🙏

[@loidaj9045]

And trying to make fear go away is also normal 😅 so what can we do in order to live the fear more safely ? I think some knowledgnes of the nervous system can help a lot

[@ahmadaskar3360]

Hi daniel, jsut wanted to share my current problem I sleep perfectly at night (used to have insomnia before because of fearing wakefulness). But my problem is that I am 90% recovered from anxiety. there were times when I woke up on heart palptiations when trying to sleep at middawy. now when I don't get enough sleep at night (due to being busy not from insomnia) and get up in the morning and go out I start warroying about getting those palptiations to get those 2-hours of sleep at daytime, so I get them and wake up on severe palpitations. I don't what is the cause of this, is this anticipatory anxiety, my subconscious mind is convinced that this situation is danger ? or this beacuse I worry about them ?. Also when It comes to the solution, should I just stop worrying about them, expect them and be okay with those thoughts and feelings ? you mean like the way we deal with wakefulness ? and what should I do after I wake up on those palpitations, should I try to feel those while in bed ? cause when I experience palpitation in bed, it gets worse.. or should I just leave in the background and try to relax or sleep with it? [I sleep perfectly at night and also at daytime if I didn't go out and had a long tiring day].

[@Snow-wlkr7Xplorer]

I too have palpitations but at night because I won't even try to sleep in the day. So at night when it happens. I tell myself I am healthy, all is well it is only anxiety, relax, take deep breath, let it out slowly, try to relax yourself, and stay calm, you are ok, it is just anxiety.

[@conniekauffman4538]

After finding your channel in January, I have done the education (on my own) and still don't know where I am in the recovery process. I don't see any improvement other than my mind has changed to NATTO and befriending wakefulness. It seems like I can't stay awake forever and someday I should fall asleep, but I am still not seeing that happen.

[@coca824]

i know this content is the right way to treat insomnia. but i am someone like you who still can't leave the fear of sleep behind.

[@ItsTatful]

How do you befriend fear/anxiety?

[@srryan1]

I get these jerks that keep me from falling asleep, does anyone else's get these jerks

[@pipgalea1376]

yep hypnic jerks, a sign of hyperarousal

[@Jordan_Benzos_Peterson]

Hi daniel, I just got set it and forget it and it's the first time I'm reading a book on insomnia that actually makes sense and doesnt trigger more anxiety for me. I was wondering though what your thoughts are on what role an ssri can play in helping reduce the "breaks". I had GAD and OCD my entire life only recently saw a dr for it and just started an ssri. I feel like if i can get help with my anxiety from the ssri that will only assist me in the forget it part. What do you think?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you got it and it makes sense. Our view is that medication isn’t what matters when it comes to anxiety or OCD because they can’t change our thoughts, but whatever we do as an act of self care and kindness can be really helpful 😊

[@poojanaik9392]

How can I befriend wakefulness when all I want to do is sleep? I find it hard to enjoy the things I used to enjoy because of the lack of sleep. Even when I'm doing something enjoyable like watching Netflix or read a good book, but in the back of my mind that sleep is still in the back of my mind

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

What often helps Pooja is to see that 100% of us humans want to sleep well. And we can VERY much want to sleep well AND at the same time be open to see that… we can’t control it… this way we don’t put ourselves in the impossible position of trying to make ourselves not care, which we all do

[@Kayla-yv7wc]

Does anyone know if Daniel has a video on waking up shortly after falling asleep?? Say 30-90 minutes after falling asleep?

[@kimberlymorgan4123]

Hi Daniel, can you please tell me how am I supposed to eat or doing anything enjoyable while feeling fear when fear is an emotion that can strip anything enjoyable away from you? I understand sitting with fear for as long as you can to train the brain there’s nothing to fear, but the emotions sometimes get so intense that all you want is a moment of relief.

[@nkundwashanice574]

This is what helped me; Everyday I woke up;I told myself;What am fearing is coming later(night). There is nothing to fear right now. That is how I practiced being in the moment. Your brain must be in the present moment for you to sleep. When you fear for a long period of time;For the most part you brain is busy visiting the past and the future so to bring it back in the moment is to detach from both(past and future). It's you taking the decision to refuse to revisit past and future moments. When you take that decision;that's when you start watching your brain do what it's meant to do as Daniel teaches keep us safe but because you are not a part of it this time,it will monitor the past and present but later give up because if you are not part of that monitoring it means you are safe. Personally am not where I want to be but am not where I used to be and I believe anyone can reach there.

[@waficelhoussami2171]

@@nkundwashanice574Hey I’ve seen you dropping many interesting answers and insights! I would love to message you privately if you dont mind! Thanks for helping others!

[@ItsTatful]

How do you experience fear without trying to make it go away, for example at night. And what if trying to experience the fear becomes a sleep effort?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, what often helps is asking “what have I been doing to manage fear?”. Let’s say for example the answer is breathing exercises or going for a walk, then we see that when we are no longer doing anything to try to not be scared, we are experiencing it without trying to make it go away. Once we know a secret, we can unknow it, it’s why sleep efforts don’t happen when we are aware of them

[@kakashinaruto857]

Hi Daniel I want to ask a question- is insomnia an illness?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, we don’t see it this way. We see it as a struggle that follows a misunderstanding in our safety minded brain that non sleeping is a threat. We see it as an invitation to learn about ourselves in a way that truly can help in waaaay more areas of life than sleep. So glad you’re here 🙂

[@kakashinaruto857]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 hi Daniel your videos changed my life I gained so much knowledge and confidence thank you very very much 🙏

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

@kakashinaruto857 so so so wonderful to read these lines 😊!!

[@RolandDegania]

Just a question Daniel, I’ve been doing a little better not having zero sleep nights. However I feel like I’m in a pendulum where I will get a few nights of anywhere 5-7 hours of sleep and the next 1 or 2 nights of 2-3 hours. I feel like a zombie. Plus Im dating someone new so I feel pressure to resolve this as fast as possible and feel normal. Any tips for proceeding from here? I find it hard not to analyze. Last week I got 7 hours one night and felt almost like myself again. I feel like this last month has opened Pandora’s box and I’ll never stop thinking about sleep

[@markphilipsz317]

I don’t ever feel sleepy and do not fear not sleeping.i go days with little or no sleep . It’s hard understand why .

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hang in there, check episode 356 which covers this experience

[@purelove5780]

Everyday wen its time to sleep.. I just close my eyes tats it.. So many dreams are coming.. i have tat light sleepin feeling inside my head but not deep but many dreams.. In moring wen i woke up.. I dont feel tat i have slept.. Its like i just lay down nd woke.. Not any feeling tat i hav slept nd my housemates teling u r slept well. Nd snoring . Is this hyperarousal?

[@hangafekete694]

Hi! Can I ask a question? I'm very afraid that I won't be able to get pregnant if I have this insomnia going on. Because of high cortisol levels and so on...what are your thoughts about it? Thank you very much!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

This is a common worry that hasn’t kept many in our community alone from getting pregnant 🙂 Checking our momsomnia playlist can help, there you have real life examples.

[@sitafitriani5732]

Is peeing also a form of hyperarousal? Bcs I can sleep but waking up an hour or so to pee for 2/3 times

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Yes! Check insomnia insight 416 which is on this topic

[@sitafitriani5732]

@ thanks 🙏🏻

[@anupamamohanram1257]

Does “Hyperarousal “ overlap with “alpha delta sleep syndrome”?

[@user-dull9nf4]

Im sorry dr daniel, Why even when we feel sleepy at night , the stress and fear of not sleeping dosent let us to sleep . How can we reduce this stress and anxiety? The stress dosent come in day or noon , it comes at the end of the night , about 12 hour at night.exactly the time that sleep comes and youre so tired.

[@deelicious1610]

I respectfully disagree that fear of not sleeping is driving my insomnia. It is due to CFS and hyperarousal. I am working on calming the ANS to sleep again. I spend my nights laughing with great clips on KZbin. So when will I sleep again? No clue.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Appreciate the input very much, always learning and trying to understand more 🙏

[@ruzabeztrna5883]

Maybe you don't have fear anymore but even now you're expecting and waiting when your sleep well be fine. In my opinion that will happen (I'm still in fearful state so it's long run) when you stop expecting sleep

[@ruzabeztrna5883]

For example- if I take my sleeping pills and don't think about it I usually sleep but if I start questioning it they will help and expecting that to happen I won't sleep. IMO, fear of sleep is first phase, expectation (OK, I'm not afraid anymore so where is my sleep?) is a second phase...and we have to go above all of that

[@shorfan]

@@ruzabeztrna5883 well said! The latter part is tough because doing the right stuff and not fearing but still chasing sleep like ”well where the hell are ya?” keeps us in the circle cause it still comes from trying to control sleep and that not sleeping is bad.

[@laurenmcdonald7086]

Can we “sit there and be scared” in bed while trying to fall asleep? Will that work?

[@laurenmcdonald7086]

I do like to acknowledge it. I like that phrase. Just seeing it for what it is…normal.

[@nkundwashanice574]

I did that for 2 good years with no success. You may never sleep but one thing it will help you with it will allow you to give up on trying so hard. Personally I used to lie down and use all the techniques to help me sleep only to end up with a severe panic attack in the end. That helped me detach from sleep. I told myself if I die I die. I am off this sleep "search". Now I get 5-7hrs of sleep every night and honestly speaking I don't know how sleep happens. Sleep is a mystery and it's an automatic process when one detaches from any sort of worry. Personally I had to give up all my anxieties for me to sleep again why?Am an anxious person so I just had to detach from everything else and trust the universe will sort things for me somehow. Now I sleep. Fear chips in once in a while but I just watch it without reacting. Fear is just a reaction to thoughts;Fear doesn't solve problems. Not sleeping is not sleeping;Fear can't save you. Give it up. Hugs

[@jamiethomas6987]

​@nkundwashanice574 how did you give up all your anxieties?

[@nkundwashanice574]

@jamiethomas6987 It's a gradual process. I focused being here and now. Living in the moment. If you observe;All anxieties are out of something in the future. It's about worry of the outcome incase something happens so I detached from the outcome. Forexample if you don't sleep tonight and worry about it what changes??Anxiety like the sleep coaches say is just a signal;It can't even protect you from what is to happen. Its tough but when you have done everything you know how to do to protect yourself and nothing works you finally give up

[@leafsleafsleafs2]

@@nkundwashanice574 how long did this take you

[@wednesdayschild3627]

I get a 🔥 flash, then i get gas and get upset. Then i stay awake...it is hyperarousal. Then i get scared, rinse repeat. It also starts with worry trouble sleeping, churning stomach, fear hot 🔥 flash.

[@janhannah9444]

But why is it that sometimes when I go to bed I feel like an electric current is going through me. I can’t say it’s fear but my god there is no way I can find sleep

[@positive.juice.apartment]

thats adrenaline. you can sleep and your brain is working fine. just remember that you dont have to do anything. youre brain will sleep when it feels ready to sleep

[@coca824]

i have those nights too! "my god there is no way i can find sleep" i feel it! no matter what i am telling myself ...even if i accept the outcome...my brain and body is on fire!

[@BeeRich33]

The daytime ramifications for me is what threatens my ability to work and keep any job. Bad sleep follows you around.

[@user-LesLad]

Yes, being awake is not an issue. Next day consequences of low energy and mood.

[@crystalcristina6025]

❤

[@joannerowell4410]

How attitudes have changed. 32 years ago I had a nervous breakdown with insomnia as the main component. I saw a psychiatrist and told him I had fear of fear. He looked at me as if I had two heads, no concept of what I meant.

[@coca824]

😂😂 👍 yes, so true! and a lot of people look still at you like you're an alien when you tell them that you're afraid to sleep. they just don't get it.

[@glowingbuddha]

how did you get past it

[@MikeTho323]

I dozed off watching this lol

[@nenadcubric2663]

Clonidine

[@Nick-Scott1017]

Clonidine is what helped me. I went to ER after 3 nights with 0 sleep and was giving clondine ans slept 5 hours that night.. but it's better to figure it out without medication but that's easier said then done.