This is the Worst Military Couple - all the Stereotypes

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How many times have you heard the stereotype of a young military member quickly marrying someone they shouldn't or getting caught in the turmoil of a horrible relationship decision? Well, Dirt Bag Private is here to help you through the heartache by breaking down a day time television show with the worst military couple you have ever seen. Deployments, strippers, and Jodi OH MY! it has it all.
Hottie on Instagram - / xo_breanne_xo
and her Patreon - / xobreannexo
Full paternity court episode- • Afghanistan Veteran Le...
The views expressed on this page or any derivative therefrom are those of myself and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of Defense, the New York Army National Guard, or U.S. Government. ~ A.C.

[@LuckyFoxes789]

Good buddy of mine married a striper. He ended up killing her and her boy friend. He is in prison now.

[@cohensmith6100]

Well shit sounds like justice was served all around

[@davecrupel2817]

What was he expecting?

[@cohensmith6100]

@Uncle Crispy Hes a murderer

[@cohensmith6100]

@@davecrupel2817 exactly

[@ShellShock794]

Very uplifting story

[@AngryCops]

update: the dog just ate 7 chicken wings off the table. he has a deathwish.

[@tfwthelsdkicksin6083]

Would you recommend using ICBMs to silence noisy neighbours?

[@654Crossman]

Gotta keep your guard up, Sarge.lol

[@Camdamnit]

Holy Shi....nternal blockages

[@vanillacrash2584]

NOOOOO

[@joshcoon570]

Peach pit was a test run.

[@DownWithBureaucracy]

"Straight from the (w)horse's mouth"

[@bobfarr8822]

I came here looking for this comment. Thank you random citizen.

[@cohensmith6100]

@@bobfarr8822 on behalf of random citizens we welcome you to tickled your funny bone with this joke all you want

[@cavemanlovesmoke4394]

@Who Cares? you dont care? I dont care too! It's the only thing I truly understand I know is all this shit in life is means absolutely nothing :')

[@tennesseeboi6704]

I am the 609th like

[@xvor_tex8577]

It’s funny because she’s both of them lmao

[@paintballer4life105]

They said “I don’t care how many times she says it. A stripper does not love you.” during safety briefs for a reason.

[@ekim72]

Amen brother.

[@tmfo125]

Navy has these safety briefs, too. “Don’t go to strip club.... the women there drug and rape sailors for that tricare.”

[@skeetersaurus6249]

Oh, do I remember those safety briefs...especially 'long weekend' briefs (72's and 96's)..."remember your condoms", "crabs can easily flank your condoms...know the signs", NEVER get drunk alone!, NEVER think 2 or more 'ladies' are approaching your onion heads because 'you're that cute'...there is a war plan against you...if you haven't known her for at least a month...GIVE IT TIME, she'll own you soon enough, don't get in a rush!...and my favorite...if she says the word 'love', and looks like a hooker...she's not referring to LOVING YOU in ANY WAY! (it's all those base benefits, pay, and your deployment she actually loves).

[@skeetersaurus6249]

@@tmfo125 AMEN! I LOVED K-Bay (Marines) and Pearl...the risks were SO MUCH MORE VARIED than at Camp Lejeune or Pendleton...I mean, we had the standard 'base wife' syndrome...but we also had various terrorist groups operating (using hookers to 'get you back to their place'), we had tons of Asian diseases, lots of Somoan 'back-alley' pimp beat-downs (ever been drove over by a herd of bison?), and the LOVELY 'Filipino Curse' (you marry them...they want a green card...you help them out, come home from work one day, and find 14 of her 'closest family' in your apartment...sleeping, eating you out of house-and-home, done broke your stuff, wearing your clothes...and wanting you to SPONSOR MORE OF THEIR FAMILY!!!)...sure..those little girls are pretty...but it's kinda like adopting AFRICAN KILLER BEES!!! THEY ARE going to swarm, and they ARE going to TAKE YOU OUT!!!

[@jake-yp2eo]

@@skeetersaurus6249 that Filipino curse tho 😳😳

[@lethaldosage]

"Soldier, marine, airman, etcetera..." He excluded sailors because they are usually the ones giving out the STDs and STIs, sometimes to the soldiers, marines, airman, and others.

[@enclavesoldier6555]

It’s their culture

[@megamatiman4855]

Excluding space force because they're not getting laid

[@blacklightredlight2945]

@@megamatiman4855 They get first dibs on the Asari smh

[@hoohoosier]

As a former sailor, I can say this: I honestly don't know how the clap is not a pandemic because the super-carriers literally have fleets of ships all over the globe.

[@eukyre]

haha seamen

[@stilgaardfremen73]

DI to formation: "If Uncle Sam wanted you to marry a stripper he would issue you one!" Dirtbag Private in the rear of formation: "Sweet, we're getting strippers!!!"

[@654Crossman]

Underrated comment 👍

[@commanderbeepo8066]

Hooah

[@samuelzuleger5134]

Just remember what my grandfather (a San Diego DI in the 1950s) said: "Men. Loose lips sink ships. That applies to both sailors and strippers."

[@disgustangy4901]

I’m the 500th like

[@tachyon8317]

A buddy of mine that worked in supply back in 2005 said there was actually an NSN for spouse/wife/whatever. To this very day, I'm still not sure he was fucking with me or not, lol

[@lightningblanch2062]

Plot twist: Dirt Bag Private is the real father

[@trublgrl]

Double plot twist: You're the mom.

[@kyle4246]

Even bigger plot twist: Your the grandma

[@trublgrl]

@@kyle4246 Fair enough.

[@lightningblanch2062]

@@trublgrl HUGE plot twist: You're the baby

[@AngryCops]

i was that baby

[@Dantarn]

Army: "If you're married we'll nearly double your paycheck thanks to BAH, you will be able to live outside of the barracks so you won't partake in mandatory white glove room inspections by leadership, and you'll pull duty much less often then single soldiers because we don't want to make things inconvenient for your wife." Also Army: "Why are fresh privates getting married so quickly?!"

[@DogeMcLovin]

I'd marry Misses Right Hand. Ain't much to look at, but gets things done!

[@canibezeroun1988]

Yea you just need to come up with a woman who's okay with a civil arrangement. Have the prenup set up from the get go.

[@MrJoeylj]

Less duty yeah right.lol the bah you may never see it.

[@Osprey1994]

@ I would definitely buy a Mustang, but it definitely won't be new.

[@lastswordfighter]

Seems to me this requires some revaluation.

[@fourthhorsemendeath218]

My veteran cousin says "if you ever join, never spend your life with someone who's probably been with most of the platoon in some way"

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

True Story, 1990s; Fort Lee PX, I was going by the 📺 area & a guy with his dependa wife looked at me 🥺 & said, quietly "don't ever get married". ✔

[@Undercoverbrotherfromanother]

Correct

[@jubisvaldo5450]

"He hacked my Facebook invading my privacy" Lol how does anything you post in Facebook count as private?

[@herrskeletal3994]

I love the "hacked" part. You know damn well her password is one of the kids names. Super elite information warfare right there.

[@colinklang]

Pretty sure she's posting publicly in case any thirsty privates are looking for a drink. Thots want attention and money more than anything

[@jonathanbrooks9768]

Sounded like she meant Facebook messages

[@steves578]

@@colinklang they belong to the streets.

[@steveking9146]

Messages and private groups derp

[@michaelhamilton8945]

I’m starting to think that this “Dirt Bag Private” character isn’t such a dirt bag, he sounds pretty reasonable 😂

[@Jon3830]

Thats how they pull you in.

[@nunyabusiness4904]

The thing is, he’s supposed to be at work and told his sergeant that he had a dental appointment.

[@aaron4921]

He's just a teenage dirtbag, *baby*

[@Skinwalkerxiv]

I get the vibe that he was an E4 recently and is now an E1. Not the first time either.

[@choper1337]

Professionals have standards

[@annly666]

What he said is 100% true. "These two don't hate each other, they love the drama."

[@artyomsaveli9681]

First we get Angry Cops. Then we get Angry Drill Sergeant. Then there's Bro-Vet. And now we complete the quadrilogy with Dirtbag Private. Never change, my dude, never change.

[@huntergirl7275]

DBP isn't new.

[@aiden-sy3ex]

you think that's the end? the ACCU isn't even halfway through

[@huntclanhunt9697]

Operator Sam

[@SneedsterSpeedster]

Dirtbag private was around for a while before bro-vet

[@jaceonirizarry3810]

Damn doing Operator Sam dirty

[@MelaniePoparad]

This paternity court is a train wreck ... I hate it, but I can’t look away either.

[@trublgrl]

@Viktormandus Rhaefnhyrst Whoah, massive, unwarranted, escalation!

[@maxman1602]

@UCAxve5amKMIROZasHwz6PLw YOU LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT *LOOK AT IT*

[@gagemullis313]

I hope/think it's a fake tv show

[@bobdole6691]

@Viktormandus Rhaefnhyrst And that attitude and thinking will undoubtedly breed a generation of untrusting males regardless of how much you think they could be manipulated. Might i add, that predatory relationships dynamics like the one u described, aswell as just fucking stealing from other people careers and lives, both TIME and Money, are just classic motives for 1st degree murder. While we are escalating things, ill just add that i know far too many dumbasses in the military who would genuinely just start plotting to pop the glock if someone ever just came after their hard-earned paycheck from uncle sam.

[@patchmoulton5438]

@@gagemullis313 About as real as Judge Judy

[@morrisvanderslice1735]

“Kids will not fix a relationship” very true!

[@jordanesquerra1801]

“Did this man just “Hooyah” infront of a judge at court” Well I’ll be damned

[@chrisvoiers8729]

It's oorah

[@oz_jones]

He also said rodger to the judge

[@thetatv1339]

Hooah for the Army of 1, Roger?

[@museme6309]

Hooah

[@museme6309]

That’s discipline

[@Justapatriot02]

This should be played at reception for all new soldiers of every branch.

[@alexbarry689]

Army is the only one with soldiers.

[@ab5olut3zero95]

@@alexbarry689 all new Enlistees/Trainees/Poolees. Feel better now Hero? 🙄

[@Xavierahunt]

I second this motion.

[@timmcculty2320]

They could definitely shave a few minutes out of SHARP, Suicide Prevention, Finance, and medical briefs and combine them together to show this.

[@cinthianeri]

YES!!!!

[@ITzR1ckyy]

No one : Not a single soul : The cigarette in angry cops mouth: ↗️➡️↘️↙️⬅️⬆️↖️⬆️⬇️↘️↙️➡️↗️

[@mitchell1091]

You actually checked the directions, didn't you, ya clever bastard!😂

[@popitrekker1543]

It's a code!

[@Arcticroberto9376]

@@popitrekker1543 ac is cia confirmed

[@bethanyygomez820]

😂😂

[@milesshadowhahnjr5426]

Lol

[@practicalhobo9168]

"We got married too young" -stripper already had 2 kids

[@hobo_warrior7777]

Hey there fellow hobo

[@practicalhobo9168]

@@hobo_warrior7777 hello and happy belated Thanksgiving

[@671homey]

@@practicalhobo9168 Or, Merry Halloween, if you're Joe Biden.

[@practicalhobo9168]

@@671homey lol

[@DoubleKlutchRacing]

@@671homey reminds me when in 1775 that the Continental Army took the airports and had a sweet sweet victory at Fort McHenry

[@pscoolguy]

A buddy of mine got married to his sweetheart right before basic training (Marines). The woman he married was not a stripper, but was a party girl. Both were under 24 years old. While he was out of the country she cheated with a drug user, had a baby and moved to a different state, all before he returned to the USA.

[@jillvalentinefan77]

That's pretty fucked up.

[@oz_jones]

I mean... at least it wasn't his baby. So he kinda dodged a bullet.

[@Anonymous_________]

The country bent him over, now the court will.

[@MrPlainsflyer]

Well. Gawd dayumn.

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

Wow, I knew enlisted MPs who got married, got on post 🏘 then turned it into a big party 🥳 house.

[@almightyrmb]

My PL in basic always stressed two points of advice for after we graduate; “Don’t buy a brand new car” and “Don’t marry a stripper”.

[@Trainer_Ruffles]

How many broke one or both of those rules

[@almightyrmb]

@@Trainer_Ruffles Not sure, I only just graduated.

[@tommcd8471]

@@Trainer_Ruffles and if you're going to break one, buy the damn car.

[@silverblade357]

@@tommcd8471 Yup. Pay your bills and that can only bleed you for a couple years.

[@brad506th]

@@tommcd8471 2001 Cobra at the low low interest rate of...Totally WORTH every inch that dealer raped me with.

[@yavin99]

This is 95% of the marriages in the military.

[@____MC____]

@Logan Titus lol you replaced what was making her happy.

[@johnneill5960]

^^^^^^^98 you a wee bit low

[@654Crossman]

Yup. This generation of girls are no more responsible than a fox in a chicken coup. They go out of their way to destroy people's lives. People forget how they destroy the kid's lives, when they cheat. Then the courts favor them, and the kids grow up damaged, to repeat the process. Our society is very ill.

[@LUR1FAX]

"I don't need no teenage queen, I just want my M16!"

[@____MC____]

@Logan Titus that and maybe the ups man 😅

[@jeanlain9442]

"You sellin' your body for money; HOOKER" 🤣

[@beareble-lion4446]

We are all whores in one way or another.

[@Alex_Fahey]

@@beareble-lion4446 "You sellin' your body for money; PORTER."

[@isaacschmitt4803]

Every. Married couple. I knew. "We're in love! We're getting married!" "Weird, that's what you said about the last three wives. . . "

[@kaileighhafferkamp3681]

Buuurrrrnnnnn!! 🔥😂

[@oz_jones]

@michael arambula sure thing hoss

[@donutz424]

@michael arambula see you in 3 months with the divorce papers

[@ETAisNOW]

We’ve been together over 17 years and still going strong, raising an awesome kid. We are our first and last. We aren’t married.

[@samuelpancake4084]

Military members like us do not think things through very well

[@thompsonadam80]

It starts with a "D" and ends with an "ick" Jesus christ this guy is amazing

[@YungBoiEscobar]

Derrick liked the cheating chick to the point where he got to lick. Started with d and ended with ick

[@kek397]

He was saying that as I was reading this comment.

[@dedrickmilford3675]

My name

[@anonymouspersona122]

Dropkick.

[@thegunshow7635]

The irony of her wearing a cross necklace

[@TheRagratus]

Well it IS lying on its side.....

[@boulderthefat154]

They all do. Something about catholic schools.....🧐

[@karamlevi]

It’s marketing

[@ab5olut3zero95]

@Reverend Ape ya got a point there......

[@chieppachat9381]

@Reverend Ape as I know the context there. He was told to have a child he refused and when his sperm fell on the floor he killed him. He was supposed to have a child.

[@antalgergo2699]

"He hacked my Facebook" I have heard this so many goddamn times, from high school 2 week romances to actual marriages, it's shocking

[@alissonlares2926]

So, everybody are hackers nowadays, or facebook has the worst security systen ever.

[@antalgergo2699]

@Impaleification Especially when they leave it on a sticky or some shit like that

[@antalgergo2699]

@Venom Yeah or the Chrome cookies-password thing

[@johnwick8756]

Pretty sure if you're married then you should already have your spouses password but have enough trust to never need it.

[@bostearns7083]

The fact that this dude can talk that fast with the damn cigarette wagging the whole time is nothing short of impressive!! XD

[@dosidicusgigas1376]

Ive been smoking for 15 years, took me a long time to be able to do that. Its a lot harder when the thing is lit but still, AC got skill

[@blanko_sama8049]

"You're selling your body for money... HOOKER!" 😂🤣

[@merlyberdproductions883]

I died when I heard that lmao 😂

[@babbabooey1176]

gold...

[@WWFAttitudeEraFreak]

Facts

[@diegofianza3525]

No. The worst military stereotype is the nerdy sailor who married his first hookup in the Philippines back in the 80s to 90s.

[@pilotmanpaul]

It was good business for us Filipinos though. Lol

[@thebonesaw..4634]

Buddy of mine married a Filipina girl who already had a kid. Then she talked him into adopting the kid, and I was like, "why would she want you to do that"? They get to the states and she divorces him, takes his Corvette and takes half his pay by forcing him to pay child support. Court agrees due to the fact that he adopted the kid, and dude has to pay for the next 15 years because the kid was only three when they divorced.

[@10mikemike89]

If he did, he will always be near a change machine. 😂

[@Kedanjt42]

A coworker of mine is an exmarine and mentions his filipino wife and I couldn't help but laugh at that everytime knowing how that happened

[@diegofianza3525]

@@Kedanjt42 I was going to include a sailor/Marine.

[@Leroys_Stuff]

Marriage is like cards a heart to love em a diamond to marry em a club to kill em and a spade to bury them

[@BboyTurok1990]

Well damn.

[@kuinuth]

Ride wife Life good

[@YogKicks]

And if you play long enough youll find a joker in there 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@GrabLifeByDaPoosy]

@@BboyTurok1990 "Well goddamn" 😉 1:57

[@tyler4538]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dsldigi4395]

“You’re selling your body for money, HOOKER!” Correct

[@docschro6847]

I was doing good not laughing right up until the "I ain't rolling dice son." Absolutely lost it. This is a work of art AC.

[@Samantha-pn4zk]

That’s exactly what got me. Lol.

[@EarlSinclair97]

Anybody else notice Dirtbag Pvt. is rather articulate?

[@maxxcarver1525]

It's from being in the military for over a decade!

[@FyrFytr998]

Just because he's slow don't mean he's stupid.

[@strikersub1814]

that's how you shovel the shit most effectively

[@jarhead21100]

Lol, dirtbag privates can randomly come in very handy. They can save the day with duct tape, 550 cord, a frag and an idea that they aren't sure will work.

[@isaacschmitt4803]

Can't be an artful dodger if you don't know the art.

[@BilgePump]

Well she’s quite a bit older than him. “Saw him coming a mile away.” You see this quite a bit around large military installations.

[@museme6309]

You’d think she’d be a bit mature then I mean this woman so loose, as a mom you’d set a good example though.

[@isitoveryet9525]

@@museme6309 Unfortunately, age & maturity do not go hand in hand.

[@ricksuarez5357]

Honestly I went out with some older women when I was in the military. Pretty dope TBH. 2 were strippers and paid for stuff for me.

[@LeftfootofOrion]

"The Memphis methamphetamine Barbie collection" I'm dead...

[@theocean2521]

Dirtbag Private’s mustache is just so funny to me for some reason

[@The_Iron_Bull]

Nothing like an 80's porn stache

[@uraniumpenetrator3844]

It adds a shit ton of credibility to everything he says.

[@MaynardCrow]

It's out of regulation. Shitbag private needs to shave it at the corners of the mouth and trim it back so it doesn't cover the upper lip.

[@thomasbrown4132]

@@MaynardCrow Well, he ain't named "poster boy private" now is he? A good dirtbag private is supposed to be a turd military wise, but still be liked by everyone E-3 and below.

[@chelo4197]

@@MaynardCrow goddamn GROOMIN STANDARDS

[@mariannelynnlatjow5641]

My brother did it 3 times while in the Marines. And after being widowed on his 3rd, and a stroke, he married his nurse. Still married.

[@georgethompson1460]

How long?

[@DanielBoone337]

"Go out on a 12 month tour and come back to a 1 month old baby you do the math" That one killed me this was hilarious!!!

[@dd11111]

I'd just like to give credit where it is due. that "throw her like a javelin" joke got a full belly laugh out of me! Thank you!

[@loishilliard1]

Me too. He is funny.

[@jennifermiller4557]

Lol, he was being subtle about liking women with huge tracks of land. It cracks me up when men who are into bewbs try to be sensitive about it 🤣

[@philliplovin1415]

I been smoking for over 10 years and let me just say that is the best acrobatic cigarette action I have ever seen

[@John-hw3ds]

Its the Stash! It has magical powers.

[@dalehawks6003]

I bet that cigarette was stuck to his lip when the camera went off, probably pulled a little skin off that lip haha, I've had that shit happen to me, and it hurts..

[@aristotlethegreat632]

are we just not gonna talk about how he said "roger" to the judge?

[@lorireed8046]

Roger that. 🤣👍

[@sapnupuas2810]

NO SIR

[@slash09r1]

Why?

[@mannythrash508]

Was waiting for wilco

[@Goldcat1850]

Roger, roger

[@jerikropp6394]

Army's new motto should be: "No cigarette left behind".

[@654Crossman]

I thought that was the standard for all branches. That shit ain't cheap, and there is no shortage of excuses to smoke em.

[@MaynardCrow]

The Army makes up a huge amount of the Newport customer base.

[@mik4209]

@Cosmic Crybaby taking care of soilders, if u know what I mean.

[@MrSjs57]

“This is my dog…he’s the one who ate a peach pit”. I buckled laughing.

[@GCF-Media]

Most would pay big money for a class this excellent. However, Dirtbag Private doesn't charge us a single dime for learning to sham.

[@VladimirDemetrovIlyushin]

That way it's harder to pin all the shams to him. Private here's being a dirtbag all the way.

[@colewalton1340]

@@VladimirDemetrovIlyushin its a 4D sham

[@brandon3883]

@@colewalton1340 perhaps an Inception sham?

[@jessetheunending9357]

Sham on men, sham on

[@maxwellssilverhammer]

The "Hooah" was the chefs kiss to this whole dumpster fire

[@glo.hardie]

Loled

[@timkutsar1588]

The "Roger" was worse

[@aa1bb2cc3dd4]

He didn't hoooah. It was a surprised sound that the judge understood where he was coming from.

[@derickriel2060]

@@aa1bb2cc3dd4 I was gonna say that. If it was, it's the worst one I'd ever heard lol

[@Pulang_Diwa]

1. She was hooah. 2. She hit me.

[@88HEATHENWOLF]

"you weren't even good at it" Angry Cops, 1st Oct 2019.

[@Skyward-lx5kd]

A classic

[@williamwinder3466]

She even had on the same clothes

[@tammycenter8757]

I used to manage a hotel. Strippers would come in occasionally. Never met one who wasn't mentally unstable and all of them just used guys for a paycheck. They were also slobs who trashed rooms so I would hate to see what their houses looked like.

[@violet_skrs]

and he stays in character through all the bloopers. A true professional

[@williambell3893]

caught the cigarette and everything lol

[@lazykranch3205]

He makes all his characters seem like totally different people. He should be in movies.

[@kneewhen]

“One pole or another for a source of income” great quote

[@walt3719]

I missed if this guy is a nasty girl or weekend warrior. But I can only imagine this dude going to his next unit. "Yes SGM I was that guy on paternity court."

[@grandpoobahful]

"one pole or another".... OMFG...... *standing ovation!!!*

[@aladdinsane3523]

He’s probably still paying off the wedding ring he bought on credit at the store right outside the gate.

[@larryh502]

Or he bought the ring the PX by maxing out his AAFES Star Card.

[@aboubakartoure20]

😂

[@prodigallink]

"I ain't rollin' dice son..." HAD MY ASS ROLLING ON THE GROUND!

[@jonathans44]

“So you had it in your mind, that ‘if I get my wife pregnant, she’ll stop stripping.’” “Roger” Iconic.

[@jeffsanders1609]

I mean you can’t strip while your pregnant right? 🤷‍♂️ Wait or can you? 🤔

[@jakeweberzwier8655]

@@jeffsanders1609 *Vsauce intensifies*

[@museme6309]

@@jeffsanders1609 yes you can it’s just unattractive or what’s to stop her from having sex for money also, i mean can’t control other peoples actions.

[@paulghencea9037]

@@museme6309 There are People Who are into that shit.

[@jillvalentinefan77]

@@museme6309 You look like you can't control a wet dream chief.

[@loishilliard1]

You actually make me laugh out loud. Not many ppl can do that. Thank you for remaining an E6 in order to bring funny to our lives

[@Lozoot2]

"it starts with a D and ends with ick" I _knew_ David Dobrick was up to no good!

[@mrskweaker2138]

Damn ok didn’t see that one coming

[@2036scott]

LOL

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

"Dating" a Stripper is like putting on a condom... There's only one reason to do so, it's a one time use, and ends up in the trash.

[@elsnocc6572]

You have one in your wallet and people laugh at you because you get no sex

[@antibull4869]

That, and the person who replied… yeah. Perfect explanation that anyone can understand

[@johnpittman3063]

I was a chaplains assistant. If I had to some up my time in the army in 20 minutes I would show this video.

[@misterhatley5894]

I like your take on this subject.

[@idkwhypickinganameishard]

I can't stop looking at the cigarette, that's talent right there That gurl ain't got no shame, agreed

[@irishjoe2941]

She’s shaped like a Iron board

[@OriginalGlorfindel]

Or her military man with the cool name has little PP. :(

[@themanwithallthewrongopini3551]

@@OriginalGlorfindel it’s not about the size, it’s where you put it

[@OriginalGlorfindel]

@@themanwithallthewrongopini3551 lol lol

[@thefunnynamehere266]

“Starts with the D and ends with -ick” Don’t be sick?

[@CRob172]

Dipstick? 😉😂

[@Ty-vj4wg]

Don’t lick?

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

Dominick

[@Rustam7899]

Do The Flick?

[@brandon3883]

Dyslexic...k

[@justin.s9783]

when i enlisted my recruiter told me NEVER date/get involved with/or marry a stripper. Best advice i got. i knew several guys that did and had a hell of a time just trying to be positive. the real victims are the kids, they have to grow up in this crap show everyday.

[@abyssalrex8803]

“She wouldn’t walk for a Day and a Half” Damn AngryCops. You get down like that?

[@jennifermiller4557]

That cracked me up, too. I remember what it was like to be twenty-something. Now that I'm in my 50s, I can laugh at pretentious youngsters for being legends in their own minds. 🤣

[@dosidicusgigas1376]

I think its DPB who gets down like that. I feel like AC or ADSGT is more.... assertive and disciplined.

[@OriginalGlorfindel]

I just have to add, that "shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds" is a mechanic euphemism for engine trouble or unbalanced tires.

[@veretos7]

coughing and spitting like a chain smoking stripper

[@justacatwalkingonakeyboard4454]

I’m gonna remember that one friend, thanks

[@asralai3645]

I dated a stripper while in the military, however I met at a Perkin's while having coffee. It still didn't end well.

[@maxxcarver1525]

I knew a guy when I was stationed out in Montana that was dating a stripper. What he failed to realize is she was also dating three or four other Airmen at the same time. SMH

[@Timman57]

Nothing good starts, or ends, at Perkin's.

[@vanessal7565]

@@Timman57 your comment is highly underrated.

[@Timman57]

@@vanessal7565 thanks, I also agree 😅

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

@@Timman57 P has great 🥧... come on!!! 😁

[@BountyHunterLetsPlaysOnGoogle]

"Anybody got a quarter?" You can lie, that was a fucking zinger right there.

[@Undercoverbrotherfromanother]

I was in 375th CO out of Huntsville, AL under the 926th Battalion. $400 a month rent sounds right.

[@BBnSam1215]

“I ain’t rollin’ dice, son.” 🤣🤣🤣

[@blakeolsen2782]

DEAD💀💀💀💀💀

[@Evravon]

People like this are the reason we have to sit through hours-long powerpoint presentations about how not to be idiots. Don't get high on duty, don't drive drunk, don't break the law, and don't fucking marry a stripper.

[@zackboren2572]

When he said "anybody got a quarter?" I lost it.

[@kaileighhafferkamp3681]

I knew this girl that I went to BCT with that got married to this other trainee WHILE in AIT. About 2-3 months later, they divorced (I saw it coming a mile away). Right after they did, she went on a full blown on rant on FB telling everyone to mind their own business. It was hysterical!

[@JoeRogansForehead]

If a Facebook rant is the worst thing that happened he got off lucky

[@anakinrobb1206]

"I ain't rolling dice son" this is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

[@WraithPlays40K]

Man. Dependa money just ain't paying like it used to. Edit: Yo holy balls over 200 likes? Thanks y'all! Edit 2: 328? Quite nice.

[@NotaRealnam]

And still not a single comment... wait...

[@WraithPlays40K]

@@NotaRealnam The silence has been broken.

[@benl2359]

Being a smoker, former military, and from Florida, I can identify with this. Only thing wrong is that cig needs to be 3" of ash that for some reason never falls off. Love the vids and carry on. Look forward to every one.

[@OriginalGlorfindel]

Female Mechanic here, married to mechanic, daughter of mechanic. You know how you get that perfect 3" ash? Pack em hard, like you're tapping that hooker before anybody finds out. (Edit; also in FL) (Edit 2; also former military)

[@bigcheese9096]

@@OriginalGlorfindel the old timers have mastered the 3" ash

[@OriginalGlorfindel]

@@bigcheese9096 I learned from the best!

[@momma3327]

This is my fave male character on KZbin 😂

[@kimberlyashcraft7841]

SAME!!! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life

[@Kochie11]

Private potato gets me

[@bitterbetty.9667]

I swear AC and that cigarette have a better relationship that those two.

[@tripple_x_panda2906]

So close to 1 million subscribers. Can't wait for that video

[@TheBlackPigeon]

'Clear Hooker Shoes'. Cinderella confirmed as midnight lady (in more ways than one).

[@localcrackhead4038]

*Law and Order theme plays*

[@museme6309]

True shit

[@arizonaranger2241]

Tennessee has one of the lowest rent rates in the country. Love you Angry!

[@Helldiver_Magnolia]

The fact that drill sergeant actually was able to hold this act for so long is absolutely beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen I think the facts are straight, we are living amongst a god.

[@lonetrader1]

"But he found out alllllll my dirt without my permission"!!!

[@bobsondugnutt9914]

Ah, the other "v-card" (victim). Making her feel violated is a violation, because it's not about the thing, but how the thing makes her feel. Meanwhile, women are infinitely more suspicious of men. I developed trust issues when I overheard girls talking about getting other girls to test their boyfriends. It's like their feelings are never wrong, it's about making other people answer to their feelings.

[@scuffychucky4659]

"you're selling you body for money, HOOKER!" 😂

[@pillowsocket]

I like to imagine the dirt bag private used to be an E-4. I dont know if this is cannon with the lore but fits my experience.

[@stoneyholmquist8008]

Was a e-5...when I got my bad chicken dinner...private it was...thats what I imagine.

[@tyler4538]

Nobody: Me wondering how in the hell the cigarette hasn't fallen out his mouth"

[@MaynardCrow]

11:54 The secret is not to clap.

[@kaylag5043]

15:25

[@MaynardCrow]

@@kaylag5043 Yeah, considering there was 9 bloopers in a row from the same take, the magic of editing may have cut out a metric fuckton of cigarette fails. Edit 18:17 for blooper reel

[@jamesbaggett7223]

You must not have any mechanics in your family

[@tyler4538]

@@jamesbaggett7223 🤣🤣🤣 no I do not

[@higgydufrane]

Pretty damn juvenile to make sure the court knows how many times you had sex.

[@warrocketajax373]

It's good tv man.

[@heroofmalta9158]

She looks like she’s got a tattoo on your inner thigh that reads, “blessed”

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

She's blessed alright. Not by Christ though!

[@stxrobstar]

And even the cross on her necklace is laying sideways.

[@tammycenter8757]

Or one on her lower back that says," Pull My Hair." 😂

[@TonyAndrea725]

Somebody's been pudding sampling

[@j0j086]

The gothic cross on her lower back

[@Dj.MODÆO]

I’ve always thought it was a good idea to allow BN and Company COs to deny or allow troops to get married and for the branches to give article 15s out to guys that slept around with another service man’s wife. (Oh yeah he is lying his ass off that he was upset she showed up for his welcome home reception dressed like that….he requested it and we all know it!)

[@ryanking2936]

Did he just “roger” the judge 😂😂

[@HiTheNameIsBj]

Roger

[@Madmac42069]

Roger roger

[@DyingSunshine]

Roge’

[@evanjohnson9269]

Roger

[@philipramsden4975]

Smh I stopped saying roger the second I got my dd214

[@domonator5000]

Nah he didn’t say “hooah” he haid “hooo” like “hoohh what a novel concept” sarcastically

[@absolutetuber]

As the surgeon for my unit I sit in on the high risk soldier review meeting that occurs monthly. Believe me....we have faaaaaar bigger problems than the taliban and ISIS and it comes in the form of wives, ex-wives, the law, drugs, and alcohol. Makes me glad I have a somewhat boring life.

[@aa1bb2cc3dd4]

11:59 - he didn't "hooah" at the judge. He was surprised and the sound was more of a "whooah" + "oooh", as in, "oh shit the judge gets it". Definitely not a HOOOOOOAH

[@quest4adventure495]

You are confusing the marine hoooAh with the army hoo uh Different pronunciation

[@aa1bb2cc3dd4]

@@quest4adventure495 the Marines don't hooah... why are you trying to correct me when you have no idea what you're talking about?...

[@jillvalentinefan77]

@@quest4adventure495 Wrong. It's Oorah. Sounds similar to the Russians war cry which is Ura.

[@abigbear8617]

Nobody’s talking about how he looks and sounds like if the conductor from the polar express joined the army

[@huntclanhunt9697]

😂😂😂

[@julyangel3438]

Are you making your own multiverse of soldiers? 🤣🤣

[@AngryCops]

yes

[@BossManSays]

@@AngryCops make a Sargeant major and Butter bar and just go to town.

[@marioramos6790]

"I think you reasons start with a D and end with ick" LMAO hahaha

[@chasengrieshop]

The animated faces and hand gestures along with the ridiculous subject matter makes this a perfect storm of comedy the likes of which I can't say I've seen on youtube before. You got a subscription from me for this one.

[@bennettbush3906]

Judge: "So you had it in your mind that if you get your wife pregnant she'll stop striping." The man: "Rodger" Me: Don't you mean "Roger Rodger"

[@AlexanderWu4587]

LMFAO one of my high school classmates deployed with that guy. His platoon nicknamed him Tree.

[@mattdiaz9648]

Why tree?

[@joeloliver2279]

Tree?

[@Escobar12b]

Threkeld we called him tree for short I also deployed with him... 😔

[@williambell3893]

so is he from AL,FL or TN? lol

[@10superpower]

@@williambell3893 Sounds like TN. And Tree is probably because of his last name.

[@couchpotato-jl9ud]

she said "that's how he found out" seems a little guilty...

[@MrKidroboto]

Worked for a military exchange where we set up appliances and furniture. Finding forgotten toys, vibrators and massage wands seems more wholesome than finding stripper poles in the middle of the living room and have the lady explain that it is just for keeping in shape while trying to tip with a large roll of cash.