This is what insomnia recovery really looks like. With Michelle Weil

Рет қаралды 7,390

Күн бұрын

When we talk about recovery - do we really know what that is? How to tell whether we are "there" or not? What are the things that might be slowing the process down? Michelle and I talk in detail about our experiences with insomnia recovery and how it turned out to be not what we both originally imagined.
Coach Michelle's website: hopefulmind.com/
00:00 Intro
00:43 Michelle's recovery story
05:41 Defining insomnia recovery
10:03 It's ok to dislike it!
12:04 How do I know I am recovered?
19:22 Becoming a new person
21:50 What-if questions
25:45 Anxiety is not an obstacle to recovery
30:50 The goal of recovery
31:54 Shifting away from insomnia back into life. Buffer period of sadness
45:26 Does the word "recovery" actually work?
47:07 Why each recovery takes a different amount of time
59:51 How to properly measure progress
1:06:45 Slow start vs quick start recovery pattern (Honeymoon phase)
1:12:52 Getting worse before getting better
1:17:05 How the timeline concept slows us down
1:26:33 Looking for shortcuts
1:30:30 Finding agency in this process
👋 Instagram: / fearless.sleep
❤️‍🩹 Website/1-1 calls: www.sleepcoach.sk
💌 Newsletter : sleeptalks.substack.com/
Special thanks to Sarah, Santiago, Gigi, Liza, Anna, Michael, Dragos, Peter, Mark, Liz, Neal and Guylaine for supporting me on Patreon - you are the best!
If you wish to support my work on Patreon too❤️: / fearlesssleep
Playlist for beginners: • ⭐️ Start here: insomni...
My recovery story and timeline: • 🙋‍♀️ My insomnia recov...
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical or psychotherapy advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.

Пікірлер: 76

@danielerichsen4726 9 ай бұрын

Looove this episode 😊!! You guys rock and will change so many peoples lives. So glad to see you together today ❤️

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Daniel! ❤️ I’m coming for you next! 😄

@michelleweil6672 9 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!

@user-zq4dj9ph3k 3 ай бұрын

I believe I’ve come to a realisation with regards to insomnia. It makes me depressed when I look at others and how peacefully they can sleep without any effort, which instills the need for me to achieve that goal too. Just trying to achieve that goal makes me anxious because I force sleep and hence the more difficult it becomes.

@GenieB94530 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experiences! My anxiety about being awake and speed bumps have decreased. a gem I received is that when I have speed bumps, I will be fine since I have experienced it before and I am fine. That is comforting. I feel like I still have some fear, I am susceptible to speed bumps.

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Fear fades very slowly, we need to give it some time. Glad you found it helpful

@eieiki67 2 ай бұрын

Not reacting to insomnia is a key here. Because I had my first insomnia 15 years ago. I was not anxious and had no anxiety. I went to work with zero sleep for a month. I didn’t check myself what is happening to me. But I went to GP to get something to aid my sleep. GP didn’t give me anything first time. After one week later, I went to GP again to give me something. I was prescribed amitriptyline. Simply I took it for a week and no questions myself whether I will sleep. Insomnia went away for 15 years until last September. I was a good sleeper after even first time. This time I am so anxious and ask myself a lot why, why? This is super arrousal for me. I am still struggling and try not to react anything. I am trying not to fear this. Hoping for the best myself.

@pengpengjulian Ай бұрын

I really hope your insomnia go away soon! I am suffering it this year and I feel hopeless sometimes. But this video gave me courage.

@deelicious1610 4 ай бұрын

I am now more frustrated or angry than afraid. Hopefully that’s progress.

@BadgyalGG 3 ай бұрын

Going through a speed bump since Tuesday after a year of good sleep after sleep coach school teachings I taught myself, been through many speed bumps before but I feel like I’ve forgot how it feels and you forget they can happen again I’m just keeping faith it will always sort itself back out again as it always does it can just feel scary again when going through it 😊

@KristenNicole222 3 ай бұрын

Hey, how are you doing now? I was good for a few weeks to a month, and now it's been 3 days of nothing. I know it's rough when you're in it.

@BadgyalGG 3 ай бұрын

@@KristenNicole222 hello I know it’s not the best when it forms back up but I’ve accepted it’s just a speeebump and I will be okay. Your brain will work things out again eventually I’m just trying to enjoy my nights now and watch something instead of lying there frustrated it doesn’t help anyway we’ll be okay don’t worry it will pass

@KristenNicole222 3 ай бұрын

@BadgyalGG thank you for reaching out and encouraging words.

@ry1255 7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this video. I guess I am borderline in recovery and recovered stage and I didn't even know it until this video. It's amazing that for at least 15 years I have experience intense insomnia and been on medication but about 3 weeks into it now without medication working with Coach Michelle, I am actually sleeping better my hyper arousal hypnic jerks hypnic awareness are all now lessened, and some nights I don't even have them. I don't even fixate on the topic anymore and I am okay with not sleeping. Definitely not a linear process and I know I still have a long ways to go but at least this video has cleared up a lot of things. Thank you so much for all that you all do Happy Thanksgiving all

@janetyson-ly4rv 7 ай бұрын

Thank you soooo much for this video - so helpful and reassuring to hear from people who have experienced insomnia and 'recovered'. And to learn that everybody is different is very beneficial in terms of expectations. I have been dealing with insomnia now for about 10 months. It has been a slow bumpy process. For the last few weeks it seemed as if my sleep was improving then I read about speed bumps & started to get fearful: lots of what 'ifs' started to show up with the result that I started to have sleepless nights again. I realize that although I had been sleeping better, it was a fragile sleep and I was aware of not being okay with wakefulness or waking at the same time every night (before alarm) & wanting to check the time or listening for traffic noises and other signs of time. Lack of control seems to be a driver here ! It is interesting that this speed bump/s started when my brain started saying: 'this period of better sleep won't last because you need to go through speed bumps' and also it questioned why I had been sleeping better because I didn't appear to be more willing to experience wakefulness. When I looked at this I realized that being okay with wakefulness and lack of control were difficult to accept. My brain is trying to tell me worse case scenarios as you said and this increases anxiety making sleep less likely! I have so much more understanding thanks to your channel and also Daniel's. But I constantly seem to need reassurance that what I am experiencing is 'normal'. I am spending a lot of time watching videos, monitoring and obsessing about sleep. Perhaps I need to take a break, but even that seems difficult. Its hard to believe that this is the journey that we have to go through, that we are not the exception to the rule or have something terribly wrong with us. Is this one of the things speed bumps are teaching us I wonder? Thank you both 🙏

@algernonca 4 ай бұрын

I am experiencing the same I have the same feelings. Still struggling and having set backs after years of insomnia. I worked with one specialist (very expensive) and tried Insomnia Coach (also expensive). While they helped, I am no where near being "cured". It's very frustrating.

@kaitlyndinger578 8 ай бұрын

Loved this video. I've lost so much of my care/concern around sleep. Things are coming more natural as I dont really put much thought into it anymore. I related so much to Michelle though. I truly thought after I started to get more rest, that the clouds would part and I'd be suddenly happy. I was depressed to discover this isn't the case for me. It's like my body is stuck in fear mode from this hard experience. I liked her advice to kind of do things you know make you happy even if you don't feel it for a while. That is an interesting concept I'm going to try. One interesting thing I've noticed though is that when I begin to feel physically tired, my body often gets feelings of anxiety. It's like an automated memory of the struggle. This is usually during the day around the time I would typically nap previously, and this physical anxiety usually keeps me from napping. I just kind of sit with it and recognize it until i feel my body and mind relax and I rest instead of sleeping, but i was curious if this is typical on the recovery path and if napping is something that returns later? Thank you! :-)

@FearlessSleep 8 ай бұрын

I'm happy that you liked the video :) And it is typical to have some trouble napping. This does pass with time (after like a year of not being able to nap, I started having naps as the pressure to chase sleep was dropping), and the non-forceful way you described sounds like a very helpful direction.

@christinalockington8222 3 ай бұрын

I also get anxiety symptoms when I get tired in the day and even in the night. Can be pretty scary and does affect me bit now not that much. I thought I was the only one and it caused so much anxiety when I would try to nap which is needed in recovery for me... Good to know I'm not the only one... Now I'm napping bit more easily

@guylainelamoureux 9 ай бұрын

Michelle and Alina sharing their own experiences make all the difference. They give me hope. Thank you so much for your channel/website/social medias and sharing your insights and being sleep coaches.

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Thank YOU for your support ❤️

@michelleweil6672 9 ай бұрын

Thank you! So happy it was helpful!

@TaraSeranova 2 ай бұрын

This is super helpful!

@NealThornton 9 ай бұрын

Lots of very helpful insights. Thanks both of you for this

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Neal!

@dredre3773 9 ай бұрын

Amazing video probably best video ive watched on insomnia. Thanks coaches ❤

@michelleweil6672 9 ай бұрын

Thanks so much for your support & so happy it was helpful!

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Thank you! Glad to hear that ❤️

@jacquelinesavageau 3 ай бұрын

When Michelle mentioned life transitions, I just had one and fell back into the pits of fear when it comes to sleeplessness and Illness because my experiences in the past were so bad. But I intend to fully recover this time which is why I think I came across your channel Alina🥰 also wow! I never even really registered the limiting myself because of always needing to get the good sleep. I have done that so much, thanks for bringing it up!!

@Stuffed_chicken 9 ай бұрын

This is so so so helpful. I think I'll have to rewatch this a couple of times. Love you both ❤ thank you ❤❤

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

So glad you liked it! ❤️ 🙌

@michelleweil6672 9 ай бұрын

So happy it was helpful!!

@Lauren-gs7bn 9 ай бұрын

For me when I try to sleep it could be a thought come though my head “what if I can’t sleep” and that one thought feels like it ruins my progress. I also get scared of not being conscious. Not sure how to stop that cycle for good.

@algernonca 4 ай бұрын

Yes that's me too. One little thought like that can ruin my night. Like I do well for maybe a week but some thoughts similar to this popped up and I regressed. It's terrible and I don't know how to stop it.

@mestayno 2 ай бұрын

this became my go to episode (because I'm keep having speed bumbs lol)

@shariwithey2704 9 ай бұрын

Love listening to you two! I'm not even struggling with sleep anymore. But i still love listening. Insomnia is such an interesting topic. The whole recovery process that you've described is so true. This is pretty much exactly how mine has gone. ❤

@michelleweil6672 9 ай бұрын

Hi Shari! Thanks so much

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Thank you Shari!!

@lillianyoukhana8451 7 ай бұрын

How bad was your insomnia?

@soniagoodarzi9515 8 ай бұрын

I love you beautiful souls❤

@FearlessSleep 8 ай бұрын

❤️🙏❤️

@AlexanderDassen-io4jw 8 ай бұрын

Hi Michelle and Alina, At first so much thanks for all Your help en content. I have a question for your both. I am now at that point where you know you ‘cannot do anything to force you to sleep. If there is no fear response anymore to sleep or at least a 2/10 fear level I notice that I am awake more the last weeks then a couple of months ago. The fear faded away trough disregarding everything that has to do with sleep for a long time. Is the fact that I am still lying awake for hours some days in a week that the brain is fixing itself? Is this normal that you are still awake even if the fear is faded away big time? Thank you for your response. Greetings, Alexander

@KateisGreatful 7 ай бұрын

Question for you both! ❤ I’ve been watching your videos for several months now, and after 17 years of insomnia, they’re some of the first actual “help” I’ve gotten (other than sleep medications). All of a sudden I’ve found myself in a horrible speed bump, but it’s created so much anxiety that it’s now been going on for about a month, and I’m worried I can’t find my way out. Any tips or thoughts for me? Thank you all again. 🙏🏼❤️

@user-zq4dj9ph3k 3 ай бұрын

Hi How’s your sleep situation like now?

@user-vj3jr8hn9y 7 ай бұрын

Hello Daniel, Alina and Michelle!! I’ve seen your videos on KZbin which have helped me a lot. Thank you!!! I have a question though, in the video both say that during their recovery when they started feeling better their anxious feelings were replaced by sad feelings, not happy ones. After a month and a half of severe insomnia I feel the same now that I started sleeping better. I also feel really really tired! I would say that the feelings are depressive. Do you think that I have developed depression ? Or it’s a part of the process and these feelings will not persist?

@michelleweil6672 7 ай бұрын

Hi! It's very normal to feel more tired after sleeping more, this is just a sign that your hyperarousal has gone down and this tends to unmask our fatigue from the experience. This is normal and if you can give yourself more rest for a little while as you experience this it can help. Feeling sad and down at this stage is also normal and temporary. Can you acknowledge these feelings & feel them so you are not in resistance to them? It can also help to do things during the day that you used to enjoy, as you may start noticing little glimmers of joy/peace/calm, which we can start to lean into as well. Hope this helps!

@user-zq4dj9ph3k 3 ай бұрын

@@michelleweil6672 How can one bring down their fear of insomnia getting worse or the fear of speed bumps never ending.

@condomgraveyard666 9 ай бұрын

My insomnia seems to come and go and is usually driven by life events. As sudden as it appears is as sudden as it goes.

@FearlessSleep 9 ай бұрын

Life events can impact our sleep for sure. And often, when a stressful event has passed or we adjusted to it, sleep can return as suddenly as it disappeared

@cynthiacapicchioni6622 5 ай бұрын

Looking for a coach and Michelle is booked do you have any suggestions?

@lotharzed7208 6 ай бұрын

What do you mean by speedbumps? Can anyone please elaborate more ? Thank you 😊

@FearlessSleep 6 ай бұрын

Speedbumps are the periods of doing worse after doing better - many people describe it also as setbacks. It can look like sleeping less or worrying more. Speedbumps are temporary experiences on the journey, so allowing them to happen can help in overcoming them.

@Lauren-gs7bn 9 ай бұрын

How do you stop avoidance? I have been avoiding scheduling things and working early due to fear of not sleeping the night before.

@shariwithey2704 9 ай бұрын

I started with a little courage and scheduling small things even with the insomnia being there. I found it super helpful to try to live my life as normally as possible. You might surprise yourself that you're able to do the thing, even if you've slept little. Choosing life over fear helps to break the cycle. Hope this helps. I started to do the scary things, and slowly, those things just didn't scare me anymore.

@Lauren-gs7bn 9 ай бұрын

@@shariwithey2704 thank youu. Yes I may need to start small to show myself I can do it

@lizkristiansen5515 8 ай бұрын

When you refer to doing the internal work what are you referring to as work?

@FearlessSleep 8 ай бұрын

Hi Liz, by work we imply the willingness to challenge our fearful beliefs and thoughts around sleep or ourselves, having the courage to face the obstacles, as undesirable as they can be, and being kind and patient with ourselves when things aren't going perfectly, because this journey is not easy at all. 🙏

@verenaschmidt7942 7 ай бұрын

It's now 1,5 years after finding Daniels teaching and I'm still in recovery. Sometimes that concerns me. I made big steps though. I have my life back and I'm not afraid of insomnia ruining it anymore. I have bigger stretches without fear and good sleep the last one lasted about 6 weeks. But I do have the feeling that one little key is missing and I don't know what. How can I find my personal key?

@FearlessSleep 7 ай бұрын

You've made a great progress, Verena! This is so normal to want this journey to be over as soon as possible, but there is no "right" duration of this path. Also it can help to think of the ending of this journey not as a singular event that we can officially conclude that "we are done", but as gradually "outgrowing" this topic all together, while allowing the residual breadcrumbs of hyperarousal to pop up here and there. I find that usually at the later stages of recovery, speedbumps happen because we think that they shouldn't happen (which is a paradox), and that keeps us stuck in the place of waiting and assessing if we are "there yet" - which brings our focus back on the sleep topic.

@user-zq4dj9ph3k 3 ай бұрын

The only thing that I feel is hindering my journey and is increasing my fear is what if it gets worse? What if it gets as worse as it can. How does one ever deal with this fear? When you went stretches without sleep, what did you tell yourself?

@nkundwashanice574 11 күн бұрын

Hope you are doing better. I recovered and yes I could take on a 4th day without sleep at times and get petrified many times. Keyword is refuse to get scared. Remember;we are resetting the brain to learn that not sleeping is not a threat. So much as you are going days without sleep,Its nolonger you now,its the brain making sure the "Lion" does not kill you because for the longest time,you have convinced it that you are infront of a lion. So your job for now is lie down;fail to sleep, get up and continue with your day. There is nothing to fix coz nothing is broken. Your mind will get it eventually as you continue the journey of not reacting and of not looking for answers. The journey is tough though but don't give up!

@Thesnydersquad 6 ай бұрын

One question I have is when we lay down to go to bed because our body is tired, my brain is jammed thinking this is a sleep effort since that is ultimately the reason I’m getting in bed. It was before I had insomnia so I’m unsure how to handle this. Or if I’m laying there ok with my wakefulness, how do I determine when to stop whatever I’m doing and lay down? It still feels like a sleep effort to me.

@yuliiashpylchyn6558 4 ай бұрын

This is still a result of your fear to stay awake and not get any sleep. When you start accepting insomnia and your anxiety you will gradually notice that your mind is not racing anymore in bed. It happened to me in the past that whenever I was lying in bed, my heart started racing immediately. I started thinking that I am broken and now I won’t be able even to lie in bed. But then I faced this anxiety and stopped trying to escape it and it passed. Eventually you somehow manage to sleep in your bed so it is everything in our mind and due to our fears.

@yuliiashpylchyn6558 4 ай бұрын

And one more thing try to go to your bed with a purpose to rest, not to sleep but do not treat it as another sleep effort, which means do not expect that this will makes you fall asleep. Accept that you won’t be able to sleep-you are just resting in your bed. It helped me so much and remove this pressure of falling asleep in bed.

@nkundwashanice574 11 күн бұрын

I hope you are doing better now. We all go to sleep to put our tired bodies down and do absolutely nothing. To those that don't have anxieties;It's a good feeling;to us that suffered insomnia sleeping felt like a project;sort of something to do. The same state we are in when we are awake is the same way we remain when we lie down. No effort;Sleeping is just knowing what is happening to you and be okay with it. Personally to come to accept the body sensations right before sleep was hard;It felt like I wanted to clap for myself during the process and also the urge of wanting to see myself sleep was deeply rooted within me and that could stop me from sleeping so many nights. As you go to bed;Be reminded that the Goal is to lie down and rest;Sleep is just a bonus

@charleslantz5242 9 ай бұрын

Sometimes I’m not sure what work to do….sometimes I’m not even sure if I’ve made progress….I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea which I know is playing a role. I’ve been on and off meds…I’m not sure where to go from where I’m at