THIS ONE IS PERSONAL... | Life After Sight Loss

[@timstevenson9585]

Praying for you and your family. If you need someone to speak with I’m available. I’m a pastor.

[@frankie5862]

Derek thanks so much for sharing such a personal loss, 😞 I know how difficult it is to come to some kind of understanding of it , but even though we know it’s the circle of life it’s still heartbreaking 💕 I lost my dad and brother to covid this time last year so I know Exactly what you’re going through. It was strange when you Mentioned that you felt alone ( without your mom texting and looking out for you and your family ) because that’s how I felt! I still had family around me, but I was so close to dad or “pop” as I called him. It’s the next chapter of life that we have to come to terms with but it’s very difficult. sorry I’m rambling, but I’m sure everyone who follows your channel like me has you and your family in our thoughts & prayers.. May Paula rest easy, RIP Paula. Take care 💕X

[@rafaeltorovip]

So sorry for your loss. We all know that saying goodbye to our parents is a natural part of life but still hurt so much. Our loved ones will live forever in our thoughts. Please, continue doing your great job. 👍

[@Koda_Grey]

Rest in peace Paula. Thank you for sharing your heart with us S Derek. Loss is one of life’s most painful lesson. Let your mother’s memory live on through your own words and actions. Wish you and your family all the best.

[@LiveAccessible]

I'm so sorry about your loss Derek. My heart goes out to you and your family. Many prayers. 💞

[@thejourney1369]

I’m so sorry for your loss of your mom. I lost my Dad in 2010 and Mom in 2012. It’s a strange world without parents. My Mom was the same way. Even though I only lived 30 minutes from her, I had to call her when I got home from hers and Daddy’s house. She passed that trait in to my son, and he’s just like her. We have to let him know that we made it home safely whenever my husband and I go out. We lost Daddy in a car accident and Mom to Alzheimer’s, so we lost her a little bit at a time. I still miss them.

[@adamguymon7096]

I'm sorry. I know what you must be feeling? I lost my mom in 2015. I remember her calling me especially on New Year's Eve at midnight? She lived 45 miles north of me and was legally blind like AI am. Once she passed away there are those moments where you almost just expect her to walk into the room or say something but you know she is not going to be waking into the room. There are times it can be hard when I listen to listing to certain music or seeing something? I hope that your dad is doing okay as well? Always cherish the moments you do have and never take them for granted? There is nothing wrong with crying because it is part of life.

[@myvisuallyimpairedlife5674]

I'm sorry for your loss but you and I both know your mother is in a better place just waiting for you to show up one day. A blink of an eye for her maternity for us. I know I haven't commented in a while on your channel but I'm always listening and this one really touched me due to the fact that when my sister passed away at 41 years of age. We had not spoken for over 2 years, we kind of had a falling out due to the fact I didn't like her husband much. Petty things! The only reason I'm telling you this and I really truly hope you read it is due to the fact that after she died I had so much guilt. My own sister and I was not there to protect her. But what happened was 2 weeks after she passed away just like you I truly believe she visited me in a dream. And a few more since then but I'll continue with this one only. In my dream I was randomly walking through an enormous home walking room, to room, to room until finally coming to a doorway to this final room, I stood in the doorway until the left corner of the back of the room was standing my sister. She looked many years younger healthy and vibrant. And all she did was stare at me and smile, I then suddenly realized I was in a dream and then I asked my sister what she was doing in my dream and still she said nothing but smiled and stared at me in my direction. And I'll never forget how crystal clear her eyes were, I ran to her and immediately hugged her and all of a sudden I was like 10 years old hugging her hips. That or she got really tall, lol But the weird thing was I told her I loved her and as I was hugging her she squeezed me and I could feel everything, her arms her bones her warmth and then I woke up. I have always been a vivid dreamer but this was way more than that it felt real. That very weekend after I had that dream I would visit our father at Dunkin donuts. Every Sunday we would have a coffee and just talk. So this particular morning I'm telling my dad that I had the craziest dreams about my sister Maria, and my dad said Vinny don't tell me about it I've been having crazy dreams as well. So I immediately stopped my dad and I said well tell me what your dream was first. No joke, my father said vinn y there's nothing to tell because all she does is stare at me and smile. I think the hairs on my head grew about 1 ft after he said that. But then I knew the dream was real. And nobody can tell me otherwise. Great video, and things get better even when they get at their worst we live in a world of hills and valleys. God bless you my friend and your fam.

[@MyBlindMamasMessyKitchen]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s so hard. February 2019 we lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack. I spoke to him on the phone because it was Super Bowl Sunday and we had to talk football. Two hours later he was gone.This was the third Father’s Day without my dad and it really was stinging pretty deep. Woke up crying went to bed crying that kind of thing. The first couple months after we lost him, I didn’t think the dark cloud would ever subside. grief became part of my daily life. It’s still .is I have days where I can successfully push the heart ache aside and go about my day as long as I don’t think about it too much. Then something will happen. A song. A movie. Even as simple as a phraseThe heart ache becomes fresh again. I find comfort in feeling my dad with me every day. I’m constantly thinking about what advice he would give me what he would say. He visits me in my dreams as well. It still sucks. Every day it sucks. Sending love and hugs to you. there’s no other feeling like it. Take things one day at a time my friend. even one hour or one minute at a time. 😔💙

[@michellelewis5345]

So sorry for your loss Dereck 😭prayers and support to all your family🙏 xxx

[@InspiredInsights4U]

Thank you for sharing this sorrowful moment Derrick it’s truly a testament to the type of person you are to share both good and bad wow our prayers and thoughts will be with you and your family I encourage you to keep all the positive things that your mother brought to your life in the front of you so that you can smile every time you think about her I lost my dad some years ago that helped me a lot not forget to never forget

[@deronsworld5384]

I’m very sorry to hear condolence goes out to you and your family

[@andywilliamson731]

So sorry for your loss Derek. I lost most of my sight 4 years ago after a stroke. Two weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given a month to live. I can't get over to see him because of the Covid restrictions here in Europe (I'm in Belgium, he's in UK where I grew up). I suggested a video call, but he can't see screens any more... These things hit us hard, but with help we get through them. Thanks for all you do on the channel, it's been a real help to me coping with sight loss. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate that. Thinking of you and yours.

[@melanies.6139]

Oh, Derek. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s so hard. I lost both my parents to cancer 3 months apart almost 20 years ago. I still miss them every day. I dream about them frequently, which is kind of comforting. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending prayers and hugs. 🧡

[@theblindlife]

Derek, so sorry for your loss. It's times like this that I wish KZbin had a sadness button... Thank you for sharing and telling us about Paula. I lost my mother in 91 when I was 15. My father passed away 10 years later and 1 month before he was supposed to be the best man at my wedding. Not saying this to take away from your pain, just to show that I understand it. You know if you or your family need anything at all, just ask.

[@theteacher7619]

Derek, I am so, so, so very sorry for your loss. My great-grandmother passed of the same sickness as your mother and my mom said it got very tough towards the last, but as Christians we have hope to see those we love again so we do not grieve like unbelievers do because for us it is not good-bye, but rather "See You in Heaven!" Your in our prayers Derek :)

[@erniegilbertll]

Sorry for your loss. Will be praying for you and your family. Keep the Faith.

[@glamoleyes3010]

Condolences on your loss. My aunt passed earlier this year. She had been dealing with Parkinson's for a long time. It's really difficult to watch someone decline and no longer be the person you knew. She will live on in your fond memories of her.

[@brianscott4955]

sorry for your loss I lost my mother in 1999 due to cancer she is forever loved and forever missed hope you find a way to get through this I'm still struggling it's hard to lose a loved one especially your mother my father is still alive at age 88 in doing so far OK only time will tell God bless

[@nielbertm3586]

Good luck man. praying for you

[@pduffy83usa]

My stepdad of 20+ years passed away last July within 10 minutes or so due to a heart attack.

[@amykimsey2321]

So very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. We lost my uncle to als a few years ago. It’s very hard. Terrible disease.

[@mithrius2]

I’m very sorry for your loss. Losing my mother was one of the hardest things I ever went through. I subscribed to your channel along time ago because your perspective helps me feel a little less alone about losing my sight. Hopefully, the positive comments you get on this video will help you feel a little more connected to the world, too.

[@charlie6849]

Hi Derek, I lost my dad, this time last year and it still feels raw.

[@safepethaven]

Glad you posted/updated us, but so sad for the reason. I have known only one person to have suffered with ALS and that was the mom of a classmate of mine through high school, and was a neighbor. I can relate because at 24 in 1976 I lost my entire family -- 5 funerals in 11 months starting with my mom at age 46. Only my dad was alive but for reasons only he knew and chose to do, he estranged himself from me, his only child. Go figure. So while everyone grieves in different ways and for very different timelines, we never get back to normal, just survive to form a new normal. My mom's name was formally Paulina but always went by the nickname Polly. Today, with your permission, I am making a donation in Paula's honor and memory to an animal rescue group near where I grew up, that does a LOT with a little -- no shelter, just all unpaid volunteers, to help the abandoned, neglected and abused animals. Hugs to you and all who knew and loved your mom.

[@Tweetiebyrd13]

Oh Derek, my heart goes out to you and your family! So sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. Losing a loved one is so difficult to have to go through. Sending you and your family lots of prayers, positive light and energy, love, and hugs! May light perpetual shine upon your mom Paula!

[@hollymcknight8581]

You say that if we have lost a loved one to share it in the comments so, here goes. When I was in college I lost both of my grandfathers within seven months of each other. Also two weeks ago yesterday tomorrow, I nearly lost my dad to COVID-19. He has survived, and you know we are blessed. He is 75 years old and so far has survived polio as a whole year old, cancer and Covid.

[@accordingtodoug6320]

Derek, I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers are going out to you and your family in this very difficult time. Thank you for sharing. My mother is in fairly good health but I've been trying to prepare myself to lose her some day. She will turn 80 years old this year and she's on oxygen. I guess we never truly prepare for something like this., we just do the best we can do. God will see you through this Derek and you are not alone man. I've been one of your biggest supporters and I'm here for you!

[@pduffy83usa]

Sorry to hear about your mother.....

[@hollymcknight8581]

I know it is so hard when people say I am so sorry for your loss because those words sometimes feel really really empty. I will not say I understand, because I don’t, but I will say that I will pray.

[@davidhartline9172]

Hi Derek, I lost my Father over Christmas, last weekend was my first Father’s Day without him. I’m sorry for your loss.

[@lemoncurls5284]

My most sincere condolences to you and your entire family. Sending you a virtual hug!

[@MrMagoo-wp7pq]

I am sorry for your loss. I'm sure there is a lot to work through. I've lost both of my parents. It is hard. Be thankful for the blessing she was, and for the many years you had her with you.

[@johnedwards9051]

To Connie: hey, mom… It has been over two years since we were able to hug each other. But, your words and advice are finally starting to grasp a hold. I discovered a KZbin channel by accident that had a larger impact on my life than I could have imagined. I decided to go outside of my comfort zone and actually leave a comment. I have never done this before and was actually more than a little nervous. I don’t understand Internet protocol or what a comment is even supposed to encompass. But, this guy shared of himself to the point that it made me more comfortable with myself. This video is over a year old and I am not even sure if he reads his comments anymore. The message I left was to his mother. Mom… It makes me feel weird that I felt like I had to share with this complete stranger. I hope no offense was taken, addressing his mother in prayer, as I did. But, it just felt right. I feel as though the message was very sweet and I felt all of the words… But, was surprised that those words fell out of my skull. You know me, mom… I am very good with words. But, when you mix emotions with those words it usually comes out quite garbled. This may have been uncomfortable for me but I believe it was necessary. Necessary to show my appreciation. But, also how I keep you very alive in my life every day. I wanted to send a prayer to you, mom… In front of Derek and whoever may read this. I would not typically do this. But, I believe it was an act of courage and hopefully eventual catharsis for Derek to make the video that he did. It is inspiring and I wanted to share it with you, mom for everyone to hear. For fear that any further prayers may lead to questions of my sanity… I will let you go now… Or just for now, mom. I am surprised that I did not receive any nagging from you as I was sending this message. So, I will take that as a approving nod. Thank you for… What? No, I did not mention anything to Derek about my history in theater. I think the man can identify a soliloquy when he reads one, mom. But, seriously it is time to let you go… So think… What!? No, I don’t think it would be a kind gesture to share your chicken and dumplings recipe, mom… This is starting to get weird. Look! I have to say goodbye for now! Mom!… Mom, your grandson has just downed the bleach from under the sink, the dog is choking on the cat and I think my backyard is a little bit on fire! I’ve got to let you go so, amen, over and out I’ve got to let you go… I sincerely hope that you found that a little entertaining and not a little disturbing. You’ve shared a lot with me through your videos. I wanted to make an attempt at showing you how I keep my mother alive and in my life. She is often the voice of better judgment that, for lack of better terms, wastoo blind to see when she was alive. I laugh and Collett guilt from beyond the grave, because I was raised Catholic and we laugh at guilt… The struggle is real! Then my mothers voice would fill my head with… Well, I would prefer to call it guidance from the grave, Johnny. My mother was intelligent and funny and share those gifts with all around her. I feel as though some of that lives within me still. So I encourage you to find those strengths of your mother that lie within you and hold them and appreciate them for what they are. While I have been going through the five stages of grief… Guilt was the one I kept tripping upon. So many words left unsaid. So many times I slapped her hand away when all she wanted to do was help. So much guilt. I know that you were not me. But, I urge you to let go of guilt if any remains. I am sure this is longer than any comment and I will come to a Close with a small pearl of wisdom from my mother, Connie… I had the opportunity to apologize for the lack of appreciation that I had show to her throughout the course of my life. True to her nature she over exaggeratedly rolled her eyes and patted my hand as if I were special needs… She said, you are so stubborn! All those times you felt like you had something to prove to me… All you were actually doing was showing the whole world that I raised a man that can stand on his own 2 feet. I think about that… I am thinking about that. Thank you so much for sharing, Derek. I will repeat your words back to you. You are not alone. You are not alone

[@LifeAfterSightLoss]

John: I just saw the notification that someone had commented on this video. I try to read all the comments, even when the video is over a year old. And, I just have to say. Wow! What a comment. What a heart felt and wonderful way to keep your mom alive in you. Thank you for sharing that with me and with everyone who may have the chance to read it. I appreciate your candor about the grieving process and your encouragement. While I haven't made a video in a while because of life circumstances, it is amazing to think that my video has had an impact on a person in real life. Thank you again for sharing! It was a special moment!

[@crashbatey788]

My condolences

[@blindtraveler901]

Sorry for your loss

[@sightlessliving]

Hi Derek. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart & prayers go out to you and your family. I feel your pain, having lost a 21 yr old child without warning some time ago and then afterwards, went totally blind. I still grieve from time to time as you may do. Just know Paula brought a beautiful Soul into the World (You), who is strong, smart, courageous, inspirational, & has many more great qualities. Remember you are not alone and your YT Audience loves you. Thanks for sharing. Be strong. Hugs from us all.

[@Tatumchiagoofficial]

I lost a love one almost 7 years ago from a heart attack. And I lost my dog last year. It was hard. I know they’re in a better place. I’m so sorry about your mom. I know she’s in a better place too. I enjoy watching your videos! You, Molly Burke, Joy Ross, Lucie Edwards, Tommy Edison, The Blind Life, Two Blind Brothers and Blind to billionaire are my favorite blind people! I’m pretty sure I’ll find more blind people! LOL. I’m also blind myself. May you do some collaboration videos with other blind KZbinrs and sighted KZbinrs please? Thank you!

[@Froggywentaknitting]

I am really sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in May. I spoke with him daily, now I feel lost. I know exactly what you are talking about. I had already lost my mom 27 years ago. You are in my prayers. You are not alone.

[@paul19644691]

My condolences Derek! Sending positive loving and healing energy you're away! May the love that both of you have for each other, immerse in your heart and heal your pain. Blessings!

[@berlingolingoful]

Catching up with you. My dad and aunt had ALS. Much love to you and your family. Your videos have been so valuable to me these past 3 yrs. Thank you. @lifeaftersightloss

[@digitalcharms5570]

Derek, Your Mom sounds amazing. Keep remembering the treasured moments. Everybody grieves their own way, Be kind to yourself always. Praying for comfort for you and your family. Your Mom is an Angel now watching over you from Heaven.

[@melissapotter4493]

Very well said and heard. Your mother, my aunt, was such a great woman. When I got my phone call with the news, well it was devastating. I am not superstitious what so ever but 2 days before her passing I was sharing childhood stories with niece. Just out of the blue, for know reason at all. My Aunt Paula and Uncle Roger were a big part of my 6 short years of Rockport memories before moving to Cincinnati. Typical response when a loved one dies is"Gosh we were just talking about them the other day" well I actually was. Alright well I feel like I'm rambling now. So I'm going to end with I love you and hope that the 'better days' come quickly for you and your family

[@teachercydaraholiver6759]

So sorry for your lossDerek.

[@QueenOz]

Sorry to hear about Paula. My Mum passed away last in 1998 and I still miss her so much, even today.

[@kathleennealobrien7753]

Thank you for sharing. I, along with other commenters, have lost my parents. Even though it has been years ago, I think about both of them often. You were blessed to have a wonderful, caring mother. God bless.

[@nathansmith7938]

Sorry to hear about your mom. I am praying for you and your family that God gives you peace that passes all understanding. Thanks for sharing and thanks for all the great videos. I am so encouraged by them. I have RP and am in the later stages of it and through your videos and some other VIP youtubers, I have found so much comfort knowing that I'm not the only one feeling what I feel or strugling with what I'm struggling with. Thanks and again and again, I am so sorry for your loss. God bless.

[@DavidLindbergDavidsMusicHouse]

Thanks for sharing. I am now old enough that my core family is all gone and it’s very wierd to not have any of them to pick up the phone and talk to. I was 10 years younger than my brother and sister, so a late comer so still here, VIP (I like that) and prayers to you and your family. She is in you!

[@davidakers5488]

Derek, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom January 16, 2020. Thank you for sharing with us. You and your family are in my prayers.

[@blindnessisaspectrum6237]

Derek, my condolences and prayers to you and your family. Loss has been part of my life since I was 8 yrs. old. I'm over 65 and each and everyone is unique. I have never gotten past the missing them. This last year has been mother nature cleaning house. I am thankful that your precious mother had what sounds like a peaceful end. There have been so many with the struggle to breath toward the end this year. She must have had a full life and did her job well, because you are her finished work. Bless you for sharing.

[@anodysseyofsteven1985]

Hi Derek. I am so sorry my friend for your loss of your mother. But I always remember that she isn’t better place and living a life that only we can imagine and that one day we were experience. May God give you peace and serenity during this difficult time. Sending you a great big hug but lots of love

[@karahamil3657]

So sorry for your loss ... absent from the body present with the lord .... how is your dad ha doing it? My mom died when I was 7 years old .... my dad died when I was 45... life .... death .... each is hard .... I’m losing more and more of my sight .... my marriage of 45 years isn’t good .... my husband I think is starting to have dementia or some personality problems ... working from home since covid is doing a job on him I guess .. I’m having a hard time , dealing with depression and Anxiety .... sorry to be a downer , for now that’s how it is .

[@sarahbarth8314]

Hi Derek, thank you for sharing about the loss of your mom. I lost my mom eight years ago. So I understand what you’re going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you today. Blessings.

[@susangreen9314]

Sorry for your loss.Whenits your mothers takes a longer to get back to what you feel is normal.Our mothers have a special bond with their children.

[@jennifervandertook5296]

Hey Derek, I was very sad to hear of your mothers passing. I wanted to let you know that I’m sure she knows that you’re thinking about her. I’ve also heard that when you dream about someone that has passed, it means that they are visiting you. So, it means that you actually do get to spend time with her, but in a different way. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you, and I hope you are well and taking care of yourself.

[@kali_yuga4140]

I watched this video a few months ago. My mom was still alive then. Now she died about 3 weeks ago from when I wrote this. There was no sign of anything when she died. I talked to her one day and everything was alright and the next day I get a call that she's laying in the hospital and most likely not going to make it. 2 days later she died in the Hospital. I wasn't able to say goodbye or anything. I talked to her every day on the phone for sometimes hours. Keep your loved ones close and be grateful for every moment you have with them. She was always there for me. She will be deeply missed and will be forever in my memory.

[@LearnEnglishWithMatta]

She very clearly raised an excellent man. May she rest peacefully, God bless.

[@adrianaalbuquerque5747]

Really sorry for your loss, Derek. I lost my uncle to covid and it was hard on the whole family. Much love to you and your family all the way from Brazil.

[@hilaryweiner893]

I'm so sorry about your loss. It's good that you're taking the time to grieve, but recognize that life goes on. Hoping the positive memories of your mother stick with you.

[@karenmac7990]

Sorry for your loss . Thank you for sharing this. Thoughts are with you and your family. Take care

[@Jaybroney]

maybe one of the best things you can get out of posting a video like this, and seeing all the comments and realizing that you’re not alone. I lost my mom 18 years ago, and my oldest brother eight years ago. i’m also legally blind, so I would be surprised if there are a number of experiences we both had made it to that that might be similar. Even so, the good news is that since everyone has their own way of dealing with loss of a loved one, as far as I’m concerned there’s not any right or wrong way of going through it. I had to come in you and say that it’s a very healthy thing to be as open honest as you had been posting this, and at the very least I hope that you find when you hear or read other peoples comments that if nothing else you won’t have to feel alone and you can heal on your own time. you have a great channel, keep up the terrific work and the best wishes to you and the rest of your family going forward.

[@lauramorrissey2353]

My heart breaks for you Derek! My dad just passed a week ago today and he also was diagnosed with ALS a year and a half ago. His death was unrelated to the disease, it was sudden but nothing can ever prepair you for the death of a loved one let alone a parent. Sending well wishes and good vibes to you!

[@amandahandlin1405]

You're in my thoughts and prayers are so sorry for your loss I understand how your feeling and where you're coming from I lost my mom 3 years ago I miss her every single day and think of her often God bless you and your family during this time

[@TheBlindWhistler]

My heart goes out to you Derek. I pray the Lord brings you comfort through this time of lose.p

[@buyukberber]

Sending you love Derek. So sorry for your loss... It means a lot that you share this.

[@GloriaNak]

I'm so sorry Derek. Loss is hard, especially when it someone as close as a parent. Keeping you all in my prayers.

[@TeefrmGA]

Sorry for your loss. My mom passed 10 yrs ago from ALS. Prayers and thoughts.

[@veronicaotero4204]

So sorry , sending best wishes and prayers to you and your family 🙏

[@toniedudley6593]

I'm so sorry for your loss ☹ My heart and prayers go out to you and your family x I still miss my Grandparents.

[@jaysmaldo8230]

I am so sorry The people we love never dies in our heart May peace come to you🕊

[@bethyoung3654]

So very sorry for the loss of your mom. Loss is very hard.

[@shellyalvarez5609]

I’m sorry for your loss derrick

[@250Rem]

I lost my Meama this year as well

[@asecretcourtofcrowsandcloc4084]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[@erley643]

So sorry gor your loss.

[@danabelden4492]

I am so sorry