This Song BROKE US! REN - Su!cIde | First Time Reaction

[@ricci8497]

For those not aware of the events behind this song @RenMakesMusic And here's (part of) the writeup that Ren shared before the premiere and sent to his email list: I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

[@Killermcknight]

Aww thank you for sharing that with us!

[@christulip1012]

I’d like to add that he wrote the last part when he spoke to another reactor on an interview he wanted to leave something for his friend

[@ricci8497]

@@christulip1012 that would be the interview with Knox Hill

[@Hope...M]

@@ricci8497 that's one but he also mentioned it to another. Around the time he was heading to take a jab at money game 3. Some of these stories bring back memories. Thank you.

[@stevemisog]

Ren wrote the first part about himself and was a week or so from releasing it like that but thought it wasn't complete. Then in his interview with Knox Hill he spoke about his friend, Joe Hughes who had jumped off a bridge and killed himself. After the interview he wrote the second part about Joe and added it to the end of the video.

[@ricci8497]

That was after his interview with Knox Hill which resulted in the second half of the song as the first half was actually near completion for the video

[@derekleffler6742]

@@ricci8497 Weird that is exactly what @stevemisog just said

[@Killermcknight]

That ending really brought it all together in a way I think we all needed somehow.

[@sicmuvva11]

The first part was written earlier about Ren, the 2nd part was about his best mate Joe. Ren said he would never do it after seeing and feeling the sorrow and pain it caused the people left behind.

[@steveknutson5617]

Last night I had a Eureka moment. Joe hughes saved Rens life in his moment of selfish despair. Because of the pain Joe caused to his family and friends , Ren knew he couldn't put his family and friends through that, even though in those darkest moments when he spent 23 hours of the day curled up in pain, unable to keep anything down, and with little hope of being better.I know I would have chosen suicide. But Hope and that voice that you hear when you loosen the rope prevailed and then the proper diagnosis, a donated sten cell transplant, therapy in Canada and now he is helping save a small part of the world. We owe Joe Hughes an incalcuble debt that can only be repaid by all coming together to weave a net under the bridge to catch Joe Hughes Jr.

[@achebwahs1111]

Nowhere to hide in that song. Bloody onions again

[@ToMPaSHKoV]

Ren is a generational artist. I look forward to the line "...where are your Grammys Ren? Nowhere!" becoming ironic.

[@billyjoshnic95]

I have listened to this song 100 times and still got emotional watching the reaction. Ren is different in his delivery. He always hits. Keep on keeping on ❤

[@anneross1021]

I love Ren's music and the way he shines a light on not only chronic illness but also having life still throwing all that life can throw at you on top of everything else. Having multiple sclerosis myself and searching for a diagnosis myself for years most people forget that life goes on around you regardless of everything else that us humans have to cope with.

[@Killermcknight]

Absolutely. He really makes everything so relatable - whether you’re in the exact situation or not, or maybe you know someone who went through something similar, or you can just put yourself in those shoes. Sorry to hear you went through something like that as well. You never know what people are battling, and like you say… the world just goes on around you.

[@anneross1021]

@@Killermcknight all is good my illness has taught me valuable life lessons and skills ...

[@furryelvis]

Even if Ren never makes another song. His legacy is assured as one of the great song writers

[@Killermcknight]

100%!!

[@darlenepriest4202]

A broken hallelujah Pain made beautiful with Ren's music

[@MissMeKate]

It's so important to talk about it all.

[@jamesdoherty6558]

ren is so good, deep song, his song writing , just wow

[@donald1379]

wow..Ren is amazing....thanks guys...in tears.... been there

[@Killermcknight]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@sammyd8860]

The first part of the song was about Ren's own struggles. It was ready for release but Ren felt that it was incomplete. He did an interview a few weeks ago with Knox Hill in which he really opened up about his friend Joe Hughes who had taken his life at the age of 19. Immediately after the interview he felt inspired to write the last 2 minutes of the song. To be honest, it was a genius move and has left us with a much rounder, more relatable song. Ren is in the UK at the moment, filming a video for Money Game Part 3. While he is there he will present a cheque worth over £14,000 to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) who searched for Joe's body. He is also giving half of all the income from the Freckled Angels album to Joe's family

[@Developer_rhdevyx]

i had a terrible melt down after lissening to this song because i know how he feels because i went through abt that but its diffrent in diffrent ways we all have to work together

[@Killermcknight]

Absolutely. All we can do is be kind to each other, and be there for each other ♥️ Sorry to hear about your difficult times.

[@Quizzy0000]

a first reaction doesnt change the song can be 30 years old. First is still a first reaction. dont worry

[@charleenk71]

He is so close to 1 million views on this track!

[@horizonblack]

I love this song. I can't cry any more. Somewhere, a long time ago, I put my tears to sleep. This song makes me feel things I cannot express. I tried to save her. Her name was Jen.

[@davidricks7128]

Ren's music is the kick up the backside youtube need to realise the issues are real and people are beginning to open up about their mental health issues we need this in today's society to help each other and hopefully save other children adults people in general

[@Dead-Eye]

The vibe of the last minute of this reminded me of Mic Righteous, another UK rapper whose work is focused on his mental health issues. I'm not comparing the two people - they are very different - just observing that, in that last part of the track, Ren's delivery brought Righteous immediately into my mind.

[@mldkenny]

The world needs Ren and his powerful messages.

[@Jason_xofilos]

What is amazing is how vulnerable Ren was at when he wrote this and created this video plus currently releasing to it all of us. 2nd is Ren’s loss of his childhood when he lost his innocence and feeling of immortality. He reminds me of the Maestro Tuomas Holopainen who composed most of Nightwish songs, poetry in his lyrics, and music. One theme Tuomas has is Dead Boy meaning a loss of childhood. Ren previous work seems to add meaning and us understand this video. For example, changing face of Ren walking through the cityscape suggests “eternal dancing” between darkness and light in one’s thoughts. Finally, while emphasizing the pain Ren’s friend Joe was going through also showing how hurt he was by the choice his friend Joe made along with the guilt of just possibly missing getting to Joe in time to save him or even to say goodbye plus Joe’s body was never found for closure. I am sure Ren has forgiven himself logically and intellectually but it is very much harder emotionally. In other words, the choices one makes affects more than oneself. As Aurora has sung ‘Let the River Run’.

[@itsawolfe]

Sick tune !! Love the visuals

[@ianhislop6782]

Welcome back, hope you had a good vacation. The first half of this song was written some time ago. The video was finished and ready to go. After Ren’s interview with Knox Hill where he opened up about the events surrounding his friend’s death, he felt compelled to add the last part to honor him. He recorded it line by line without editing. RIP Joe Hughes. ❤️

[@Killermcknight]

Thank you! It was a nice getaway. Oh man, we didn’t know that until reading comments about it. I’m glad he added it, I think it completed the song, not just for us… but for him. It was so raw, and somehow I feel like Ren needed to say those things to help heal. And I’m sure he’s said them before, outside of the song, but it just seems to help. RIP Joe.

[@salishseamermaid]

Such a powerful song.

[@Aurora-cv5to]

It's a gorgeous structure, even if it wasn't the way he initially planned it. The first section pulls you in, the music is easy and it lets you drift in close, and understand the 'why." Then he slams you with 'this is what you will leave behind.' Tears are scary. They dissolve the illusion that we are in control. Few people like them. Takes a lot of courage to let them through.

[@kylefrandsen2665]

In the U.S., call 988 - the national hotline for suicide and mental health crisis. The first part of this was a song Ren had done a while ago and I think it was definitely about his feelings at the lows of his illness. He said it felt unfinished so he hadn't released it. During recent interviews, he talked about his friend Jo. Experiencing the pain and guilt left behind are one of the reasons Ren never went through with it himself. Having those thoughts in his mind, he sat down at the piano, wrote and recorded this ending in just a couple hours. The title song of his album "Freckled Angels" was also about Joe and Ren's decided to donate half the proceeds of the sales to Joe's family.

[@stranger2Utube]

I was of course waiting for you to react. Glad you did. ❤

[@Killermcknight]

Thanks for being patient with us!

[@stranger2Utube]

@@Killermcknight Always. Love you guys.

[@timflesner663]

Go big Red!!!!

[@williamparrish9954]

Ren lived 10 minutes from the bridge he got a call from his friend Ella at 3 am in morning she told him joe was on bridge crying telling her good bye so he got his cloths on took off running to bridge he felt he could walk in about 5 minutes but got there 2 minutes to late

[@Killermcknight]

Oh my god, that is DEVASTATING. 😭

[@helenjarvis7755]

I don't have words I can relate. It has been good though because its helping people open up, letting some light and air into the pain

[@cheetara32]

You need to go through some more of his older tracks... Insomnia Depression Chalk outlines How to be me Patience Domino's Blind eye He has so many beautiful ballads and deeply emotional songs... That's why so many of us connect with him and support him. It's not just about the music its about creating a safe space for people who feel these things and can support each other... It's hugely cathartic to have a good cry and release all the things we bottle up.. Ren gives us the music to support and release those feelings. It's what we need right now, we've all been so polarized, it's time to come together... We are all "just human" ❤

[@Killermcknight]

Absolutely, couldn’t have said it better myself! We did react to Chalk Outlines, and plan to do more of his old stuff as well. Whether we react to them all or listen on our own, they will definitely be enjoyed.

[@carissamarple]

You guys always find a way to make me laugh. ❤

[@Killermcknight]

:)

[@AprilJMoon]

Empathy is a double edged sword, it helps the world to be better, but cuts deep when you have a Joe in your history

[@silentwhisp4r670]

Amazing reaction! Ren is on a next level as well. It's a topic we need to make easier to talk about. For people who might be thinking about it just talking about it to any friend would give them a life line of someone bringing them back.

[@Killermcknight]

Thank you so much!

[@robmarar]

Hey guys, welcome back from your vacation, hope you enjoyed it cause it's time for a good cry 😂. Ren had written the first part & was ready to release it in a few weeks but felt it was unfinished. After talking to Knox Hill in his interview the topic of his friend Joe Hughes came up & Joe's b-day was around the corner, it came to him & he knew how to finish it. He sat down at his piano and recorded what we now hear in the second part. In memory of his childhood friend Joe, the words poured out of him in minutes, raw & unfiltered. He sent it to his sound engineer & had him add it to the ending & then contacted the ppl who did the A.I work to come up with something simple for the new ending. It was all very last minute but made all the difference.

[@Killermcknight]

Thank you! Haha yeah, had we known we were coming back to something so emotional…. Whew, I don’t know. I love that he added that on, it was so real.

[@helenjarvis7755]

This album is coming out soon. Afterwards the next album will be more like your talking about at the end

[@Tita_]

"I'm a big advocate for suicide" I know what you wanted to say but it made me chuckle... :P Stay safe out there everyone

[@Killermcknight]

Oh my god 🤦🏼‍♀️ Suicide prevention/awareness. Didn’t even realize. That’s awful! Funny, but awful lol. And yes to the rest of your comment! 💕

[@Huhta84]

I remember the rubbery feeling I had after a dentist appointment. We don't use the same anestethic you guys do in the US, the local anesthesia completely numbs your entire left or right side and afterwards it feels extremely weird.. and I never liked the tingly sensation I had when it started to wear off as it felt surreal, almost unrealistic.

[@pirada74]

❤❤

[@Valineris_The_Phoenix]

Just to say 'Lost' wasn't AI. It was all Mike, who's also an artist since forever.🙂

[@angiepanaexx]

Heartbreaking 💔💔💔💔

[@adriandospia9452]

❤❤❤

[@scifimonkey3]

Hell man, enjoy your vacation and turn those damn notifications off. You can always catch up.

[@Killermcknight]

It’ll never happen 😂

[@czkid54]

they used stable diffusion

[@tee_es_bee]

🧡💛🧡

[@jbob919]

I would love to see you guys react to "How To Be Me" by Ren!

[@nidaladil4150]

❤❤❤

[@boxicuk1620]

❤

[@Nunyabizness_]

Ive never heard him before but he sounds really dark!

[@c.w_]

Not so. A REAL mix.

[@TheReluctantCarnivore]

You have to do Sam Tomkins new video to Time Will Fly. It dropped the same day as this one. You’ll love it!

[@Killermcknight]

Added!

[@AlSnoopsReid]

You need to read the comment below by Ricci. That will give you a much better insight into the songs meaning.

[@aaronb4493]

👌🏻

[@dakotasyke4447]

Ok, so..... I'm late to this party, and this was good and all, but for anyone who thinks it's full of emotions, pleas please please, go look up Ren "For Joe". Cuz that's how I initially discovered the song, and let me tell you, far more real. Just (in my own opinion here) a million times better then the studio version. ❤

[@PoliticallyPink]

Dude! The song title is Suicide --- he's probably referencing suicide, not Lyme Disease! :D He's talking about grief when his skin feels counterfeit.

[@Killermcknight]

Yes, we know he isn’t talking about Lyme Disease. What Killer meant was that he was wondering if the feels or talk of suicide all stemmed from his Lyme Disease; the misdiagnosis for so many years and everything that came with that - being so sick and frail, not being able to eat, feeling like he was just slowly dying, etc. 🙂

[@allybandy3047]

Crying is different for different people. Heck, my hubby cried during Shrek

[@Killermcknight]

I freakin cried during sherk.

[@allybandy3047]

@@Killermcknight ♥

[@sch7194]

Open the dialogue...let's not hide from real life and death situations ...its not only ok...its necessary 🔥🙏🔥

[@daelcavazos1880]

Hello, plis review: AFTER DARK- MR. KITTY. IC3PEAK- NO MORE DEATH. PLIS PLIS ❤

[@zfgdun]

As deep as she has gone... Do you not know about his friend Joe?

[@Killermcknight]

Apparently she didn't research enough. We donated to his GoFundMe page but before that I made her lookup his history to find out more about his condition. Mind you he wasn't that big when we started with Hi Ren so I didn't want to give money to someone if it was BS ya know.

[@zfgdun]

I can rrelate and it hits hard. My friend Jay didm't call me the last time. Read into that what you will.

[@Killermcknight]

Sorry man that's tough

[@manuelper]

You'd be dead if you were "literally" broken.

[@Killermcknight]

🤣🤣

[@christina_ellis]

​@@Killermcknightwhat a graceful response my dudes.xo

[@Killermcknight]

😘 I did change it though lol

[@RealmsOfThePossible]

It is text to video A.I

[@luisrivera3056]

Laughing at suic#de??? How old are you both, 8????

[@Killermcknight]

The way it is spelt because of KZbin?

[@jeffmason4151]

Over the past 25 years 3 close friends have chosen to end their lives. Three friends I would have never expected do it. The last part of this songs makes so much sense to the people they leave behind. Ren sums it up perfectly. Su!c!de is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! Please reach out if you ever have these awful thoughts ❤️