FIRST TIME REACTING TO | Ren "Su!cIde"

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Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. No copyright infringement intended. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS

[@tribute1965]

FYI: You can show Ren's videos. He doesn't block or demonetize reactors.

[@warrickcaldecott2866]

True it's more likely he'll watch your vid an leave u a comment on how he felt bout your reaction

[@azmusiclover3384]

True True True ♥

[@oneoddsockk]

She doesn't read comments. People have tried telling her on all her Ren reactions.

[@warrickcaldecott2866]

@@oneoddsockk Ahhhh that's too bad, I get that comments can be bad for creators mental health especially if their negative but to not bother at all makes me wonder why even make reactions or any vid for that matter. U can turn off comments or just not post the vid if it's something u enjoy but don't care for feedback! Sorta feels like I've wasted my time

[@philhallbrook7008]

We've told her loads of times...

[@peterveste6976]

R.I.P Joe Hughes, thank you for reacting to this beautiful and powerful song ❤❤

[@odochartaighofodonegal2351]

There isn't another artist, this proficient in their craft, that can deliver an emotional punch to the gut like our lad REN

[@kimzwolinski9919]

Ren has a song called Freckled Angel that is about his friend Joe as well. It’s a very sweet and sad song. Beautiful tribute to his friend ❤

[@neildonley9626]

In an interview, Ren said his favorite part of the animations is where the skulls change and a fist forms to symbolize power and overcoming his problems.

[@BeeyaCreativeSelf]

I love that bit, I only wish it showed it for maybe a second longer because it goes by so fast I don't think many people register that it happens ,the whole thing is so mesmerizing and I think it's such an important song .

[@tonyabrown8994]

If you read Rens comment on his song. He explains the entire story. How to be” with chinchilla is also about him. ❤❤

[@reactivereplays5666]

Thanks for the reaction. 9:45 I have heard MANY react to this song and I believe no one I watch got this verse. I could be wrong but. I believe "I think about that sometimes vividly, what it looked like to look down and see tranquility...". I believe Ren is LITERALLY visualizing the night he got to the bridge trying to reach Joe! Only to look down and see the peaceful waters as if nothing had ever happened! Its freaking chilling....

[@catsandcrafts171]

I wondered that too. I feel like it could either be him imagining Joe looking down in the tranquil water and seeing peace, or it could be Ren looking down only a couple of minutes after Joe jumped and seeing no evidence he was ever there. That also fits with the fact they never found Joe and it's as though he just slipped beneath the dark waters leaving them seemingly untouched. I have to say, I think that's the line that most caught me off guard. It hits home either way it might be meant. I know the Menai bridge and it paints a truly horrific picture for me, to think of being up there, and looking down. As you say... very freaking chilling...

[@mandydilley3735]

Yes, exactly how I see this verse. It must have been impossibly strange and a horrifying dichotomy to desperately look down on a tranquil surface at that moment.

[@OscarIna0fTimeVODs]

Leaving aside the contrast between death and tranquility born out of the suicide and his experience with Joe, I personally feel like he's talking from experience since he has had suicidal thoughts and has contemplated the same scenario, understanding the mental process that one can have when in front of that choice. The tranquility of not having to deal with life anymore, the fragile nature of human bodies and how you could destroy your own life with a simple jump...

[@Katie-bl8xi]

Yeah… I was thinking that too. He would WANT to see his friend struggle because then he could pull him to safety but he looks down and sees still waters. Very chilling moment. Ren is so strong to be that transparent and face his struggles like he does.

[@reactivereplays5666]

@@Katie-bl8xi completely agree...

[@MCP920]

I find his spoken words very profound. That began with Hi Ren. He put the message together beautifully. Enjoy your reactions. You’re delightful and a pleasure to watch.

[@manuelper]

ren did some similar stuff in some tracks before hi ren

[@MCP920]

@Mrs_brittreacts_ really ?!

[@MCP920]

@@manuelper thank you for the heads up!

[@MCP920]

@Mrs_brittreacts_ You’re so very kind. I don’t have telegram so pay it forward to another fan. I so enjoy you and your cousin I believe. Mr Lboyd. ♥️ Keep up the good work. So many things you express I identify with. You go girl. MaryClaire Pugh.

[@xx1CRU]

RIP to Joe🙏🙏🙏 And ❤ to Ren and all of Joe's family and friends. And ❤ to you Britt!! This song is so beautiful and at the same time devastating everytime I hear it. Britt you could not have been more right in some of your comments/breakdowns of these lyrics. ✌️❤️ to everyone!!

[@jjkehrley]

I reached the point of seeing tranquility in ending myself once. It was a feeling of absolute peace, but luckily I wasn't successful in my attempt. That was five years ago now. I got the help needed. Is life perfect now? No. Is it worth living? Yes!

[@funkypixie1]

Skin and blister is London cockney rhyming slang for sister. Great word play

[@rimesfan11]

One of the things that has helped me through times when I’ve felt like ending things is remembering that suic*de doesn’t end pain, it just transfers it to those who love you. Songs like this are important. It may make people realize that they aren’t only surviving for themselves.

[@mldkenny]

Ren is so special and so are your reactions.

[@joshuaboudreau5258]

I second that. I have many people I watch and she is in the top of my list

[@1tommymulligan]

Posted by Ren Ren: Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.

[@ElCatrinMuerto]

IMO the way he described all these emotions or pain he is experiencing as relative sister, brother, mother, father is like they have become so much a part of his life, of how he feels on the day to day, that they might as well be his relatives. His blood.

[@adamwheeler6326]

Ty for support of REN, the fact you can't say the title is a big part of why REN released this song.

[@xdaniedx]

Ren's heavy breathing at the transition represents him being out of breath from running as fast as he could to the bridge where Joe was. He got a call saying Joe was was there and he was thinking about jumping. Ren lived was closest to the bridge so he got dressed ran there as fast as he could and calling Joe the whole time and it's phone would ring alot and go to voicemail so he thought he still okay. When Ren got there he didn't see Joe anywhere so he called his phone and immediately it said, " this phone is no longer in service" and you only get that message when a phone has been broken or submerged in water and no longer working. So Ren was two minutes too late 😢 RIP JOE Hughes, my family and friends and everyone else in the world lost to suicide.

[@eddiebirdie1545]

Hiya Britt, you don't need to use filters on Rens videos he wants all reactors to show his videos in full and unaltered if you tube blocks them contest it they are under instruction from Ren to allow you to show them in full and unaltered he wants all reactors to be monitised and get his music out, i hope this helps, all the best from Eddie Birdie ✌❤🐦.

[@lillyvanpug]

Hey Eddie. Hope you are doing great 🙌🏼

[@benjaminfahning6093]

I know they say that, but to be honest, the artist don’t always get to decide who gets copyright claimed. There are third-party recording studios that like to just get people stuff copyright banned and to be honest, pretty much anyone can submit copyright claim on a video. So reactors have to protect themselves in every way they possibly can. It’s really sad that they get taken advantage of like this, but it’s kind of out of their control in KZbin doesn’t protect them in anyway and they lose their ability to monetize their content.

[@eddiebirdie1545]

@@lillyvanpug Hiya Lilly i am doing great thanks hope you're the same, in fact I'm about to go for a walk on the beach in this beautiful British sunshine (got to make the most of it while it lasts😂)wish you were here all the best from Eddie Birdie ✌❤🐦.

[@jeffstumpf9129]

@@benjaminfahning6093, but Ren is completely in control of all of his content. He has no studio, and he is his own producer.

[@catsandcrafts171]

@@benjaminfahning6093 Ren is independent. People have been copyright struck for his videos, and all they need to do is message him and he gets it unstruck for them. He has no problems with content at all, he sees the whole reaction video community as part of his community, sharing his music, alongside other creators great and small. I love his attitude, he's so embracing how modern music is working nowadays. Nobody telling him what he needs to do or not do. It's great, may he forever stay independent.

[@torstenjosephkartelmeyer4623]

Hail to ya all beoutiful people. I´m livin on the edge now 53 turns around the sun. what still held me back to do the last step? my couriosity and the love in the world. and especially, my believe, that , when ists over, its over. this gives me the strength to struggle.

[@Hi-SickBoiFan]

As you mentioned how it's good for men to be more vulnerable,in an interview Ren said(paraphrasing)That he understood in times past it was beneficial for men to be more closed and tight lipped.Due to the hard times/wars etc just to be able to deal with those traumas.Though in the (generally easier)times we live in now men should be open to opening up more.If you haven't watched any of his interviews i would suggest to,very interesting and fun,especially his last Twitch stream where some of his friends were there

[@helenjarvis7755]

Yes that was so good early part and funny when his friends joined it.

[@NeilBlanco]

In the first part he's describing different types of pain as his family or a part of himself. Brother, sister mother and father. He's learned to accept pain as his family...

[@chuckfriend3580]

I have watched about 100 or so reaction videos to this song but your reaction was so spot on. I researched this and REN was running towards the bridge and talking to his friend Joe Hughes on the phone and he jumped before REN got to him. REN was supposed to be there a few minutes earlier but was late. So sad😢😢😢

[@JohnPaul-hm2ys]

your take on the changing faces was incredibly well put, especially because it was off the cuff

[@Sharpester]

Great reaction and insights. I think you were spot on with the lyrics. Standing on a bridge, your mind in chaos, looking down at the peaceful waters below, knowing that all it takes is one simple movement to end the suffering. That's the kind of thought process a person has to go through to push themselves over the edge in the end.

[@adamwheeler6326]

I appreciate whatever reason you have for not saying suic*de but this is RENs response to saying unalive

[@warrickcaldecott2866]

When he says looked down and see tranquility, its because his friend jumped off the bridge that connects anglesey, itd be like running to stop your friend jumping from thr golden gate bridge only to get there minutes late, look over the edge for him and see nothing, calm waters, tranquility

[@GL0CKY1]

I don’t k ow how you were able to hold it together doing this song I cry every time I hear this song

[@ML_SE]

It is the world who's sick. A person who commit or thinking of committing suic*de doesn't look forward to the death the person just can't find a way to live in this world. 🤓🇸🇪

[@catsandcrafts171]

Agreed. When I was in that state a few years ago, I kept saying I just wanted to not wake up. I didn't want to commit the act, I didn't want to hurt people, I just wanted to not be there. I'm very sad for people who are going through that right now.

[@rodgersmith6891]

Ren reactions that I hope are upcoming: "Money Game part 2" , "Crucify your culture," "Humble," and "Ocean"

[@douglasfrazier2856]

there's a bridge in DC: the Duke Ellington Bridge, aka the Calvert Sreet bridge - for twenty years now it's had tall iron fences on either side, blocking the jumpers - but before, it had a low parapet, with the dark woods down below in the narrow Rock Creek valley - a gulf of quiet air, with a dangerous pull, now behind bars.

[@timothyjohnart]

your reactions are always so perceptive and insightful...you have a poetic soul and a beautiful heart.

[@kevindally4551]

You are such a brilliant reactor and help tremendously with your breakdowns, thank you so much.

[@davidmartin3212]

You don't have to restrict Rens videos visually 👍

[@Lightmane]

What a ridiculous world we live in, where you can't say or even write out certain words.

[@sabrinaevans8746]

Both my sons committed suicide in 2022. They weren’t young. They were in their 40s. Covid destroyed their restaurants. Left behind 5 kids. This song makes me cry and I really need it

[@nate01macmcavoy33]

Shout out Britt, from Brisbane Australia... Ren🔥 amazing storyteller... Luv your reactions.. 👍🏾

[@IronRaspberry]

The end is about his Friend Joe. If you look in the comments of this song, Ren pinned the story of Joe.

[@troytucker3467]

We love you! Thank you we appreciate you.

[@zacharyricords8964]

What really sucks is the thought of it all ending is momentary tranquility... until you think of the people who will be destroyed by the action. I have been there quite a few times. Twice very very close... but the thought of my family and how i would ruin their lives stops it. Because if im hurting this bad, imagine how bad they will hurt if i did do it. I could never do that to them. Its not worth it, cause things DO get better... even if life is not good, its still better than hurting people you love.

[@joshuaboudreau5258]

It's never our fault when someone takes themselves. From experience I had to let go of that mental anchor and instead focused on those around me and paid more attention in the hopes I can help someone

[@edwardgann]

In this context, Double Dutch means unintelligible or garbled speech.

[@drakal30]

This song is much more than a "song".

[@ManneyM]

Beautiful reaction... RIP Joe Hughes, Ren keeps your candle burning brightly xx

[@sketchtherapy1218]

I think this song is for those about to quit it sings of the pain of those left behind by the derly departed. Those who contemplate the abyss with a desire to jump in know that others have it far worse. The jump the escape itself is selfish narcisistic "I quit I'm leaving screw everything, do I suffer most? no but I don't care I'm not taking another minute of this" those who stay are those who think of the pain in those left behind. It feels selfish when you are fed (maybe by your mother as he was fed when sick by his mother) but your nerves won't let you keep the food down you feel like a burden. But knowing the pain in those left behind at times stops the urge to quit.

[@markuss7249]

...Imho, a little bit of his anger came through, in the term "... one sudden moment in a world of possibility..."

[@Calmontheoutside]

I took the “some say troubled some say sadistic” to mean the two extremes of viewing people who commit suicide (or try).

[@claudiakara1720]

I wanted to end it all and I never thought dying through jumping from the bridge but I felt peace and quietness

[@ekatyawa6714]

I like your analogy, your take on the song, kudos to britt reacts,...

[@ryderjohnson1293]

Amazing commentary, per usual. Never unimpressed by Britts insight on anything.

[@jamiesucie2685]

From what I’ve read, the rap monologue was recorded during a session when he broke down and that flowed out. It was added on to the Su!cide video given its’ profound meaning

[@wizardflaps]

Losing your best mate is hard work. You can never forget it.

[@simonearnshaw6531]

Love your reactions Britt. After all you said during the video I would say... Ren - Dominoes (Official Lyric Video) ....Is the perfect song for you to react to. Also no need for filter it is a lyric video and Ren does not claim anyways on ANY of his songs. Reactor friendly.💓💞💗

[@do0ranfrump260]

The animation type is called "rotoscoping".

[@TobiiRheaStarr]

RIP Joe Hughes 🖤

[@ozzy7109]

RIP Joe... Also RIP to my 2 best friends that did the same... It's not easy to carry around that weight, but I do it anyway 💔

[@sabrinaevans8746]

How could you not cry

[@James-25]

i like your personality and the relaxing vibe you add in you chanell keep going you are so pretty by the way much love to you ❤

[@redzwestisbest]

thanks for reacting to ren.

[@stevensimpson8231]

Survivors guilt is a very real thing

[@helmutkurtneumnn2026]

Like the other comments mentioned he is a phenomenon One of a kind talent he shares and cares One of the best artists EVER And Yes we need more like him 🔥

[@LvLUpMagic]

Ever wonder why some words get stigmatized while others do not. For example, awful can also mean "full of awe" yet most people associate this word with negativity. After COVID, and how our mental health systems are currently failing us, many people started dealing with these type of thoughts, but because we stigmatize content talking about it, allowing others to not feel so alone, we end up ignoring people asking for help (in their own way). Now flip that thought. Ever thought that Love has been destigmatized, in that, it is said so often that people don't generally mean it. While it is a great way to instantly bring positivity to any situation, perhaps we should ALL go back and ask yourselves what LOVE means to them. Same with Suicide. What does that concept mean to US? Do we ignore the signs around us? Are the signs harder to see and feel because we have become disconnected from each others, yet, more connected (technically)? Food for thought. Isn't one goal of communication is to share viewpoints and lessons? Love your reactions. They make me smile every time, and often inspire deep thoughts. Thanks for being U! 😇🥰

[@arwenhaddon]

Bitten by a tick, I'm assuming is referring to his Lyme Disease.

[@desiredbydesign6188]

Beautiful reaction thx

[@mickjuul1977]

You can't stop re-thinking what could have been done differently.. And it`s not a choice.. Its just there all the time.. What if.. Great reaction.. Shit i love Rens brain...

[@bobbyerick1]

It's AI made animation, everyone's doing it right now. It's ironic because someone in the near future is gonna make AI Ren music

[@timbuckohfive2751]

There is no copyright to doing reactions to REN. He loves reactors no need to obscure his content.

[@Vmcf1968]

ty for that reaction.

[@McLeod2022]

Ren shakes for all the right reasons. "the refusal" to deny what is absolutely in front of us. Thank you Love for posting this. His loss of Joe is in his veins. But this man projects a solid ground of persistence, hope, and faith. Thank you for reacting to this man who is trying to live a best life and trying to help others live better lives. Peace an Love Darlin'. I'm late to the game on this one but hope you and your alls are doing great.

[@ronlofton2708]

Gave me a Red Hot Chilli Peppers feeling which isn't a bad thing

[@sabrinaevans8746]

His best friend Joe Hughes

[@wassimnasri3758]

yeah he turns off the copy right thingy

[@adriandospia9452]

❤❤❤

[@Shadewraith0529]

Men in music communicating vulnerability: NF, Dax, Ren. Y'all feel free to share any others you know.

[@glyngasson8450]

Falling through the cracks in the night sky, light goes out on the other side, could mean going to heaven

[@michaelphipps8647]

Nice Reaction and R.I.P. Joe😢

[@tonymosley3547]

I have been on the edge but the thought of what it would do to my family and friends stopped me

[@ralphhughes7250]

Soo. Unaliving..... isnt someone who dies of cancer unaliving.. someone shot dead unaliving, hit and run unalive!! Trying to change words to fit the narrative isn't what will heal humanity.. being honest and talking about this will.. if you haven't felt the pain of a friend dying then I smile for you! If you have had someone you truly love as a friend die from self inflicted trauma (suicide) its a different pain. Especially when you didn't know they were in pain..

[@NightFogFilms]

Somewhere on the comments page of the Suicide video Ren wrote this but it wasn’t pinned so it can get lost in the comments. This is beautiful and relevant to the song and everyone should read it. Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.

[@m1ccey]

I really don't know why u said unaliving...... Is it forbidden to say suicide in the US? 🤦😅

[@sherribrock2726]

KZbin demonetizes the reactors if they say certain words. I think after 15 seconds they can say it but most don’t risk it. It’s stupid!

[@curtisholsinger6023]

It's not that. KZbin has a touchy restriction filter. Saying suic!de (sometimes even just typing it) automatically restricts the reach a video or comment can have. And doing it too often can cause KZbin to flag the reactor and restrict their reach. So if you're trying to grow your channel, this song can be very difficult to react to.

[@m1ccey]

@@curtisholsinger6023 that was sarcasm...... i know this filters that KZbin runs in the US...., it's a shame....

[@curtisholsinger6023]

​@m1ccey gotcha, sorry, didn't pick up on that being sarcasm. I agree. It's a big problem. I do love that Ren took advantage of his sudden surge in popularity to force a conversation on suicide anyway. But yeah, the filters that KZbin is imposing are getting ridiculous.

[@davebcf1231]

@@curtisholsinger6023 Yet reactions for this song have been all over my recommendations for over a week, including from channels I've never watched or heard of. Yeah, they're really trying to bury it...

[@DeuceTreyz]

You know in a recent interview, Ren said he sees it as Suicide and that people shouldn't have to call it "Unaliving" He understand why he had to title it the way he did because of the youtube album, but at the same time he doesn't want reactors to not call it Suicide.

[@aaronb4493]

👌🏻

[@X-Stream24]

I believe Ren and Sam are aliens. They are light years ahead of everyone. Now they are working on something to pictch for Netflix Hope they succeed

[@belindamelville2270]

❤😢😢😢❤

[@JaSt1982]

next Losing it please :)

[@smokkhemp4444]

😍

[@redzwestisbest]

by the way, the video are actual real clips......just run through a program to generate what you see. that is ren looking at the camera at the end.

[@annebiebrich9155]

It is AI assisted

[@karpoff8273]

🤘🤘🤘

[@luukkuwet]

When you don't see any other solution...

[@ewertabrahamsson4278]

Why have u never checked out tale of Jenny and Screech?

[@knowsomething9384]

This "style of animation" is generated by AI and quite controversial. A lot of artists I know are against it, which makes it an interesting choice for Ren. Someday Ren's music may be source for generated AI music... The changing faces were not necessarily a choice made, but a side-effect of AI art generation because it is drawing from numerous human-created sources (which is what makes it controversial).

[@tattoodude8946]

How pathetic is it that she has to say "unalive" otherwise she gets demonetized? What is the difference? We all know what we are all talking about here and using a synonym (even if it's made up) doesn't change the meaning. WTF are we hiding from and what would happen if we say the word? People are putting way too much weight and power behind a single word.

[@jpcarroll100]

Hi, great reaction. Just an observational question: Why are so many people reluctant to say the word "Suicide"? I've watched several reactions to this song where the reactor won't say the word. I think that's why Ren says it so much during the song. I think our fear of discussing the topic, or even saying the word, has helped allow Suicide to grow to epidemic proportions. I understand that this largely comes from a place of compassion. We don't want to hurt families or people who have lost someone to this. But, the word is not a curse. We must face this head-on and confront it. We have to talk about it.

[@jpcarroll100]

*I have learned that KZbin has pretty much forbidden the word Suicide being spoken. I find that outrageous for many reasons. But, at least that means that the Reactors themselves are not being hyper sensitive. *

[@bikepower1378]

suicide what the ..... can you say that

[@budgreenleaf315]

This video was created using AI

[@smokkhemp4444]

you your eyes are something I was speechless when I saw you and I have never seen such a girl with such eyes, and you are not equal to anyone🤪😍🥰

[@susanangela11]

Why you not showing his video

[@dominiceckstein9650]

Really don't understand the unalived thing if it contextually means exactly the same thing then its the same thing surely? It's just a word and not even a prejudicial one. Anyway enjoyed the reaction

[@lloyderc]

Hi beautiful ❤️🔥not seen u in my feed in a while.

[@Thelongestcomment23]

Am I aloud to react to you? You are absolutely beautiful 😍