Three Messed Up Wishes

[@mostlyharmfulll2103]

My favourite part was how she didn't exclude herself from the third wish. She doesn't just want to see the world burn, she wants to take a part in it.

[@shirazoul]

I bet she's already lactose intolerant and want to drag the entire population down to her level of suffering.

[@b0mberr330]

She is probably already lactose intollerant

[@ImSuchAZero]

SHES A MASIKIST!

[@niyoruds4922]

Maybe she is already lactose intolerence

[@Toaster-of_random]

@@ImSuchAZeroik this is probably a joke or reference but it is spelt masochist

[@DeadJosey]

if this wish happens she will combust into flames because the human body has water in it.

[@OldIronbottom]

It’s more of a total organ failure scenario considering milk means no red blood cells and no red blood cells means no oxygen to any organs.

[@facundosilveira5535]

I mean, so does milk. If the water is mixed with something else, I don't think it counts as water towards the wish. Otherwise, it wouldn't work at all

[@nubbdzE]

except she isn't human, she is the daughter of the devil

[@AnonD38]

I really enjoy reading people's creative interpretations of physics/chemistry/biology.

[@Songs-x1q]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEASE GIVE ME ANSWERS FOR THE LORE OF CLINIC OF HORRORS I NEEEEED THE LOOOOORE TELL ME EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THE WORLD I BEG OF YOU I BEG OF YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@GoBeyond-y4k]

Her wish was probably motivated by the little stresses of everyday life.

[@UtubeH8tr]

She's probably a tumblerina reddit fuming protestor. Quite the failure of a woman.

[@rapidresponseteam6048]

She would be 70% milk by the end of the first wish.

[@professionalnobody2]

Maybe

[@anusaukko6792]

She could give me some of her milk is all I'm sayin 😭

[@startea0412]

I thought of that too. How will that play out on humans, I wonder🤔

[@enderyu]

But since milk is also 87% water, does that mean milk is now 87% milk?

[@Dankdemon-r5y]

@@enderyu oh no the simulation: error infinite loop detected

[@AimanCool440]

Girl: please just one more wish. Genie: I'm done, no more wishes, go away, you're weird.

[@whiteingale]

everyone is really fucking dead, even microlife.

[@baxter1484]

I bet she would have wished for everyone to have celiac disease.

[@danydady6851]

Fourth wish: fuse everyone's butthole shut

[@ianyoder2537]

People always try to find loopholes in a genie's rules or wish for horrendous stuff like this. And then turn around and wonder why a genie would be an asshole and twist their wish to hurt them.

[@Warphole-r8m]

Cause why does it have to be ME who suffers the consequences of someone else actions?

[@dandanthedandan7558]

I think the genie loopholes here would be: 1. All water is turned into very, very, *very* diluted milk. As in only 1 milk protein per olympic swimming pool's worth of water. Homeopathic milk. 2. As she didnt specify which toilets, he destroyed all Asian style squat toilets. That's the inferior toilet anyway. 3. She clearly stated to make "every one" lactose intolerant, so the genie made every person named "One" lactose intolerant.

[@ianyoder2537]

@@dandanthedandan7558 Huh, anti asshole genie only loopholes asshole wishes. Somehow haven't seen that before.

[@Victor-056]

@@dandanthedandan7558 ...Poor Nigel Uno... (His Codename is "One", and his surname literally translates from spanish to "One".)

[@samuraitadpole5459]

​@@Victor-056damn, because of her kids nextdoor are destroyed and the world is boring, turns out she won in the end😭😭😭

[@nitricacid2516]

everyone instantly dies as they become 60% milk

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

Milk is ~80% water. Still suffering

[@hp22h78]

That would be a mercy

[@Big_Sloppa]

I would survive.

[@acceptile4865]

First wish would be a bit of a paradox since Milk is about 87% water. 🤔

[@hangman2869]

that 87% of water would be replaced by milk. meaning that all milk in the world would have 12.3% more milk per milk

[@JannPoo]

@@hangman2869 Repeat the process and at the end you have powdered milk. And that powdered milk would clog up every living being's cells essentially exterminating all life on Earth.

[@jaozindeboas]

​@@hangman2869 but that milk would also be 87% water, and each time you added more milk it would decrease the amount of milk, but never 0% water, like these 99.9% bacteria-free ads

[@fgvcosmic6752]

@@jaozindeboas not true! Lets use simpler numbers Take something that is 50% water Replace that water with the original liquid We go from 50% to 25%, to 12.5%... etc, or 0.5, 0.25, 0.125.... We can write this as 1/2ⁿ Notice that 1/2ⁿ is _always_ less than 1/n for any positive integer n. Now, its easy to show that 1/n tends to 0; for _any_ number greater than 0 (call this ε), 1/n < ε for big enough n. This is easy to show, just choose some n larger than 1/ε Then, that means the limit as n tends to infinity of 1/n must be less than ANY positive number ε you can choose, and hence _must_ tend to 0 And since 1/2ⁿ is smaller, it also must tend to 0 Therefore, in fact, if you replace it infinitely, it _will_ tend to zero!

[@bravo6going702]

@@fgvcosmic6752 no it wont bruv.

[@alotosius]

Oh god the planet is going to stink up something fierce after a day.

[@matthewzard]

“Make protons heavier than neutrons”

[@x_godfield_xlasanga2610]

0-0

[@cdg670]

Oh shi-

[@Lemuel928]

Boom!?!🤯

[@timewalker6654]

And The universe is no more

[@bigbosspanda1976]

I’m not sure I understand what would happen. I get that if they were noticeably heavier the world would end, but what if they were just slightly heavier?

[@Aegirknight]

Thats not a super villain... thats a hyper villain

[@alphaomega7862]

Super villains think they’re bad, til they meet this girl and 💩 themselves

[@kellymicheal7256]

If that's hyper villian, I don't want to know what's max villian

[@rafarafa3604]

​​@@kellymicheal7256 "I wish all of humanity was alergic to their own blood." "I wish for all the adds to be unskipable even with addblock like software." "I wish for child molesting robot."

[@randomperson5289]

​@@alphaomega7862obviously from lactose intolerance

[@PuckGoodfellow-f3u]

I don’t even wanna know what’s a Ultimate and Mega villain

[@KaptnKrunch]

I love voicing shorts like this. Fun Fact: I had an alternate take where I said “what the fuck is wrong with you?!” in my normal screaming voice.

[@Konpekikaminari]

understandable

[@UnclePaul1995]

Djinn The Genie: She’s more messed up than Me. But I’ll grant 3 Wishes just to Rule the Universe.

[@lazylonewolf]

(Replace all water with milk) Things that used to have water in it: - Rain - The ocean - Nuclear reactors

[@henriqueferreira5165]

-You

[@Porpolhot]

"I Can Fix Her" -A purple hat

[@Wandering_Weeb]

1. Whenever someone has a nice dream, make them fall off a stair in their dream 2. Cold drinks will have a chance to become warm when someone drinks them 3. Toilet papers become toilet peppers

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

Rename toilet paper to toilet cloth

[@hodayfa000h]

People who use water and not the dry toilet paper be like: i am safe!

[@jettsteel7305]

​@@hodayfa000hYup XDD 👏

[@Overlord_MS2]

What about pepole who use towles?​@@hodayfa000h

[@timwoods2852]

1.) One stair isn't so bad. I'm ethereal in my dreams, so it wouldn't matter anyway. 2.) Eh, most drinks are good warm, too, and it's just a chance. 3.) World hunger is one step closer to being solved. Bidet sales have skyrocketed.

[@_Baguette3]

First wish: make everyone hungry for some burgers Second wish: Make all burgers laxatives Third wish: mend everyone's

[@whitefang6453]

The 3 wishes: 1. Make Protons heavier than neutrons. 2. Reverse polarity of protons and electrons. 3. Make qubit measurements change in accordance with the golden ratio. Ver. 2: 1. Triple the climate change. 2. Quadruple world hinger. 3. Quintuple all debt in the wolrd.

[@Snowy_Minori]

I don’t think we’d notice if the polarity changed since the +/- is mostly arbitrary

[@whitefang6453]

@Snowy_Minori +/- is arbitrary, but how they are comprised, affect other particles, and work isn't same.

[@Alban_Blade_Memer]

Your version 2 doesn't need your wishes to be true. Human do a great job by themselves.

[@mecadragoon]

quitupling world debt doesnt really work like you think :P, id just remove all precious metals from earth

[@hellotide523]

​@@mecadragoon that is absolutely diabolical

[@Iadoreshovels]

1. Every hour on the hour everyone needs to sneeze but can never reach release. 2. Everyone always feels that there is hair in their mouth after eating 100 calories of anything. Sensation last 4hrs after consumption. 3. Anytime anyone on earth lies everyone does 5 burpees.

[@മദ്യപാനം]

That last one would probably improve the world a lot

[@jasondobbins9735]

Aside from the third, wish you are evil!!!

[@Cyanfox3006]

No. Imagine what would happen to the world after a single spokesman speech.

[@soulsmanipulatedinc.1682]

​@@മദ്യപാനംNo. It wouldn't.

[@hangman2869]

in a span of a minute, you would already have to do alteast couple million burpees, in the span of years, that number would surpass trillions for sure.

[@Yonah_144]

When I was a kid, I remember telling my Dad I wanted everything to be candy, and he said I would die from dehydration.

[@ShadowTani]

And then the world perished from dehydration because the milk soured and rot after a short while, the last survivors being closer to the poles where the milk would last longer due to the colder climate.

[@jackalkhan5676]

Milk still has water in it though......

[@galosryzos8929]

It's a recursive wish. It keeps getting replaced with milk and the universe hangs.

[@molag-ballordofdomination2065]

You fool, you've now sent is into the infinite milk loop that will turn the milky way into a literal name

[@jackalkhan5676]

@@molag-ballordofdomination2065 we're too deep into November to NOT have an infinite milk loop.

[@Anansi_The_Conqueror]

Shouldn't she have immediately have died from all the water in her body becoming milk?

[@rafarafa3604]

You underestinate her power. That thing is not human, that is hate made flesh.

[@Something_Wickedz]

@@rafarafa3604 That's no flesh.. THAT"S ALLIED MASTERCOMPUTER WITH AN BODY

[@PC-coolant-pipe-sucker]

@@Something_Wickedz I get the joke, but that would make AM's whole motivation gone. He would have a body, he would be able to play Mozart, walk around, stuff.

[@Defendance]

1. I want to revoke bernoullies principle so that wings no longer work, and airplanes are just cancelled. 2. Increase gravity by a factor of 9, just to see what happens, or put a negative sign in front of gravity, just to see what happens. 3. Make all freshwater saltwater, and make all saltwater freshwater. Bonus: double world hunger or something idk

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

The latter for the second one, that’s just the EVERYTHING EXPLODE NOW button

[@maxdragonfist]

1 make everyone's arms an inch shorter 2 increase human periphery vision by 10% 3 make every lifeform on the planet once a month randomly vomit a single gold nugget

[@ВладиславВладислав-и4ю]

Strangely specifically

[@maxdragonfist]

@ВладиславВладислав-и4ю the best kind of specifically

[@Big_Sloppa]

Does size of gold nugget changes with the size of lifeform? I need to know.

[@maxdragonfist]

@Big_Sloppa yes but it's always just big enough to be uncomfortable

[@Maisen_Alegror_Gram]

You could say... that she did it for the shit and giggles.

[@SlungusSupreme]

1. You will always forget always forget important things you were thinking about. 2. Everytime you stand up, your vision darkens. 3. No matter how many hours of sleep you get, you'll still feel like crap Alright the first one isn't mentally painful enough so.... 1. Give everyone Severe Social anxiety. 2. Sleeping now feels like a rollercoaster (like being drunk) 3. Every time something satisfying happens, it will always be cut off. Damn I don't know how to torture people mentally

[@thepixarl4mp]

dont need a wish for that last one :D

[@_Sparky144]

This wouldn't be too big a change for me.

[@edgargaebolg9307]

Nothing different here

[@_Sparky144]

@@SlungusSupreme Second one also still wouldn't be too bad for me, if everyone had social anxiety it'd become the new norm and I wouldn't have to suffer alone, I'm not really sure what the second one means, and the third one is already my life.

[@_Sparky144]

@@SlungusSupreme About the last sentence, maybe it's partially just because particularly ill people are seeing these lol

[@MattCaliber]

Sibling comes in. Grabs lamp. Sibling: First wish. Undo all her wishes. Second wish. Get her therapy. Third wish. Free pizza for life.

[@startea0412]

Nice

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

What a nice bro

[@liamnesty66]

Wait…. Milk has water in it. Does that mean that water on a molecular level becomes… MOLECULAR MILK!

[@greenlight4star]

She’d be stuck with lactose intolerance and severe intestinal distress too, since she didn’t even add an “except me” caveat to her third wish.

[@VocalMabiMaple]

Joke's on you that's her fetish

[@TheLawless67]

The hardest choices require the strongest wills.

[@revolverocelot1380]

Obviously its because shes a pervert with a scat fetish who decided everyone's going to engage in her sick fantasy.

[@ewg5511]

Plot twist: She's into it.

[@revolverocelot1380]

@@ewg5511 This is her fetish

[@cyansaucer576]

1. Get rid of lift so all planes dont work 2. Multiply gravity by a negative number 3. Make all freshwater saltwater and vise versa

[@dragonslayer3552]

Wait wtf would happen if you multiply gravity by a negative number ?

[@cyansaucer576]

@ no idea

[@dragonslayer3552]

@@cyansaucer576 well only one way to find out... *Gets yeeted into space while all organs get mushed from the sheer impossility of such event*

[@aydenkoay2495]

wisher: So i wanna renew Bernoulli's Principle. Genie: Ok there are 4 thing you can't wish for.

[@Cyanfox3006]

After the second wish, everything is going to explode. Remember, gravity *exists on almost all scales*

[@m1tl4y0tl]

Add 10% more oxigen to the atmosphere Make stone and metal flammable And make earth 1.3 times larger

[@JannPoo]

"Make the sun 5 billion years older" would have pretty much the same effect.

[@AnekoF90]

She would also be lactose intolerant, so it wouldn't be very cool.

[@Mr.Mediackre]

Plot twist: *she knows that*

[@arcticdragon8593]

Ah... I thought it was going to be replacing old water with like ammonia or something...

[@Overlord_MS2]

spermadozoids

[@ultimazilla9814]

replacing all water with milk would end life as we know it on earth almost instantly as the oceans become unusable

[@josephreagan9545]

The human body is 60% water so if all water was replaced with milk, she and almost all life would have immediately died.

[@drbright6608]

The Jinn: HAHA I am going to twist all of this girls wishes with evil versions! The Girl:

[@Razumen]

Nothing matters past the first wish because everyone dies instantly.

[@crozzzyPazzo]

The first wish is going to be a paradox, since milk is partially made of water too

[@spiker1253]

1. change the earth's orbital eccentricity by 0.1%. 2. change the gravitational constant by 0.00001%. 3. give me a bucket of popcorn.

[@grephi6416]

*you feel something has changed* *you hear the word “water” echoing and shifting in colors*

[@rosewood1198]

The first wish has potential for some sick pranks.

[@johnnysalery7383]

That phrase “Some people just wanna watch the world burn” gets more true every day lol

[@AJ213Probably]

At least after 3 weeks everyone would just tolerate the lactose due to their gut microbiome adapting.

[@GeorgeEgroed-e7f]

"And the seas shall ran white with " her "wrath..."

[@claudiacarrasco908]

Psychonauts 1 reference

[@GeorgeEgroed-e7f]

@claudiacarrasco908 ah , i see you too are of high culture!

[@denifnaf5874]

She said lactose intolerance not lactose intolerant So now the genie turned everyone into the concept of lactose intolerance

[@vitanera4032]

First wish: make mosquito immortals Second wish: make every sleeping position uncomfortable Third wish: make humans bioluminescence at night

[@GraveUypo]

my wishes would be 1- make dynamic friction coefficient 10% larger than static friction 2- make gravity fall off linearly with distance rather than exponentially 3- make water compressible like rubber

[@KarolusTemplareV]

So everyones and everythings water turn to milk? The other two wishes are supperfluous.

[@Schrodingers_kid]

1. Make water taste and smell like blood 2. Remove gag reflex 3. Give everyone acute sense of smell That way, everyone suffers and it cannot be undone, because toilets you can rebuild

[@ethan-not-a-pastafarian]

Wish ideas: Revoke Bernoulli’s principle All freshwater becomes salt water and vice versa Add a second moon Remove friction Make Australian wildlife flourish in every part of the world

[@RESTINPEACEDOBBY]

The first wish already ruins everything. Because Milk goes off.

[@christophermoore6110]

Everything would die because they need water to live

[@5eyoshi]

People are mostly made of water I don't think she realised how deadly that is

[@iampower5547]

She could just wish everyone just die with 1 wish. What a waste of wish

[@battlehenge4]

You don’t need a toilet to spray chunky soup.

[@MekeninzoUG]

What about the Water in the Milk?

[@Not-A-Workaholic]

I want to remove friction. I want to put a negative sign in front of gravity, but only from 2:59 AM to 3:00 AM. The sun changes colors like an RGB gaming setup.

[@claudiacarrasco908]

1:make a solar eclipse that lasts forever. 2:make volcanoes erupt burning trash. 3:convert the salt in salt water into pure sodium

[@bbrruunnoo6161]

she craves chaos.

[@Blueskullomg]

The only and true villain of all movies & series

[@lilac-fishcake-syringa-blossom]

This will only work for the first two weeks. That is because your gut bacteria will eventually adapt and have bacteria that process lactose. That and bio engineering companies will make probiotics to make that happen faster, and likely become a basic right to have one. There's actually a video of a lactose intolerant girl where she drank milk and shooting for two weeks until she eventually becomes immune. That could happen or all bacteria that could possibly help with that will simply go extinct.

[@Puffman728]

Or we'll just die as the 70% water in our bodies turns into milk

[@tosyl_chloride]

"Make hydrogen bonds cease to exist"

[@xandergrant8854]

I want to revoke Bernoulli's Principle

[@JesterKingZant]

THE OCEAN No one will breathe after a day or 2

[@Beefster09]

Chaotic evil in action

[@alfredobianchi80]

Considering that milk itself is made up of about 87% water, the first wish is not achievable. She should have wanted all food, liquids and air to contain some percentage of lactose. Or more simply: 1st wish: destroy all toilets; 2nd wish: to make everyone suffer from fulminant diarrhea She would also have left the 3rd wish to make the situation even more tragic...

[@jex-the-notebook-guy1002]

That censor was the clickbait.

[@jex-the-notebook-guy1002]

Everyone is Casein intollerant.

[@yasirnazirbutt8240]

"Some people just want to see the world burn" ahh moment.

[@Madoka_Raviel]

I thought it was gonna be come

[@eon1014]

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

[@vlynst]

she's literally the jonkler

[@sandrolarocca3113]

Damn who hurt her😱

[@BijihLogamMulia]

that's just straight up diabolical💀

[@Maverickhunterrjay824]

1st wish: Make Mega man legends 3 happenned. 2nd wish: i wish wasnt surrounded by idiots. 3rd wish: no more lunchly.

[@newCoCoY6]

What happens when you boil milk though? You effectively refine it to gain pure water? So while the wish did replace all water with milk, it isnt retroactively preventing new water from being made.

[@skull5052]

I love her already lmfao.

[@umr2818]

She really must have wanted her chocolate milk

[@Big_Sloppa]

She turned world into India

[@corsaro2645]

fruit and holes in the ground... fixed.

[@SapphireYuna]

Well.. destroying the toilets won't do much... It's not going to be very nice tho

[@xldragon2207]

Lets go people are 70% milk

[@TheFoxX4]

milk has water in it

[@UCANTDOYIT]

Whoa calm down. That's too evil

[@sloth3]

If the Genie is good then; 1. Wish for the ability to travel across all different places with proper controls. 2. A system of sorts 3. Turn the genie into a rich human for this world. If the Genie is a Djinn then: 0. Contact lawyers with a scenario. 1. Make an unfalliable wish for the samethings but 3 3. Forever destroy this lamp and the spirit residing in it

[@scarymeunster9095]

Keep in mind that, by stating *all* water, that includes the water that makes up the body fluids of all living creatures, thereby causing the greatest mass extinction in the history of earth.

[@OreoEnjoyer7]

1. Make it so everyone ages 10x slower 2. Make it so every pregnancy, it will always be twin or more and no single baby 3. Make it so everyone just like 5x hornier. overpopulation lets goo!!!

[@vj7248]

she defeated Skibidi Toilet.... but at what cost 😔

[@true_battlemaster8704]

Probably works customer service

[@articusramos808]

You could.....just say its beyond your power......

[@cockerspanielfan56]

I know right. 😂 There are some rules after all. Genies can’t use their powers to kill people, bring back the dead or make people fall in love with you. I agree with all of those especially the last one cause forcing someone to be in love with you against their will is pretty illegal

[@KhepriProductions2022]

Can genies lie/disobey?

[@articusramos808]

@KhepriProductions2022 they do that alot

[@Rougrou1597]

​@@KhepriProductions2022 watch wish master

[@shadowki5687]

My wishes: 1st wish- eternal youth 2nd wish- to always have the exact amount when i pay for something 3rd wish- I wish that everytime someone, but me, sneezes they have a 40% chance of crapping themselves😈

[@Pudding404]

People say the world went to sht. They haven't seen nothing yet. But can he make all those wishes come true, or not?

[@trexsol1649]

the fish :o

[@CamKoudo]

Omg DeadJosey has returned 🙌

[@Bellus-cv8bz]

That's about to be a sh1t thsunami 🤣🤣🤣

[@Nikomi-chan]

oh dang she is evil

[@senkae4645]

She didn't specify what milk

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

Unfortunately, the genie didn’t know the third wish in advance

[@franklangston3004]

Wouldn't the first wish kill all human if the Genie replaced all water with milk does that includes the water in our body?

[@六工業のカービィ]

Here that'd count more as blood. Because milk is almost water too.

[@TheNonameHousehold]

I'm already lactose intolerant! How much more intolerant would I get 😰🥛💥