SECOND DATE GET READY & UNREADY WITH ME #2 | Makeup, Outfit, & DATE RECAP!!!

[@franklinpembleton]

Girl you're worrying way too much about 'playing games'. Dating is fun. Enjoy it. Text them when you want to text them. Don't change yourself. Enjoy yourself!

[@franklinpembleton]

Also go on a date to Burch Steak in uptown and let me be your server 😎😊 it's delicious and a cool atmosphere and we have great veggie options!

[@lilbee5130]

Ugh amen! Enjoy YOURSELF! And do not compare to your Ex

[@pizzarollos5677]

Chelsea Robinson FEED ME. I’ll show up.

[@franklinpembleton]

@@pizzarollos5677 come on in, pizza! We got pizza too!

[@pamcakemix]

I agree with this!!!! And if they have something negative to say then "BYE!"

[@breannarose2241]

You won’t find the spark again, until you fully let go of and leave behind the idea of your exes spark. You are mentally and emotionally holding yourself back from seeing and feeling the spark without realizing it. I know, I’ve been there.

[@theresaromero3835]

I was going to say the same , and it's True. She's not going to Find that Spark Until she lets go..

[@gaarafangirl54]

Sadly this happens with many people. You can’t compare your ex with future potential partners.

[@Annalyse74]

Breanna Rose so have I 🤦‍♀️

[@pegasusnites]

I totally agree with this, I feel that you do need to take your time and let the relationship go where it's going to go, but you definitely have to let go of the past and not expect anything to be the same.

[@shooklizard9039]

Sparks are temporary feelings a relationship foundation should not based on a temporary feeling thats not real love

[@honestlykyle]

I mean this in a loving way but sometimes I think you rationalize your way out of giving some of these guys a chance. You need to stop over thinking it and just let it take you where it’s meant to be. It’s ok to go on more than two dates before deciding it’s a dead end. It’s not leading someone on at all. But it’s your life and obviously do what you feel is right. You get mad props for not giving up like me. 😁😂

[@merylbonderow5993]

Agree. Relax a bit more and-cliche alert!-“live in the moment.” It seems that perhaps you might not be ready to go on “dates.” Dates do come with a certain level of self-definition/expectation. Companionship might be a closer description of what you’re seeking right now.

[@taylormoe96]

Too bad she won’t read this or take this advice. This is how she acts for every date.

[@merylbonderow5993]

Sweet T That is too bad. I was the same when I was younger. Thought I *should* go on dates but I never felt comfortable. You’ll know when the time is right. I didn’t get married until well after my friends. That was what was best for me as a person. This pressure on oneself is unnecessary and such reluctance isn’t terribly fair on the other party.

[@tobycatone1642]

HonestlyKyle maybe you would be her”spark”...

[@lemurchick1965]

you don't have to decide yet, you are only on your second date. Chill Cassie and just let it flow

[@pryorb987]

Lemur Chick yes ! don’t think about it too much ! don’t think about the “sparks” ! just have a good time and whatever happens, happen !:)

[@kvf710]

Look girl here’s some tough love-you may have had “a spark” with your ex. But guess what...he’s your EX. Clearly having that spark didn’t work out, did it? You need to stop relying on a spark and just keep seeing the guy and see if things develop. People don’t fall madly in love with each other after meeting twice. That’s Hollywood. Stop looking for a spark and just look for a nice guy to get to know slowly and build a true foundation of friendship with. The falling in love comes with time.

[@bethanikp]

Katherine Forrest 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@peaches29xxx]

How true! Great words of wisdom to take into consideration, Cassie ✌🏻

[@Godfinyx3]

Agree. Saw mine for 2 months before it sparked

[@dagmare940]

Right I'm dating my friend who I've known for 4 years, for 4 years there was no spark, now we just found ourselves hanging out together more often until a "hey, wanna like, go on a date?" Lol no spark to be found but its still lovely

[@kimberleydawn6110]

Well said

[@pizzarollos5677]

I say this with kindness and as someone who uses those apps. If you are not ready to have a relationship and you are not looking for a hookup, you should not be using those apps.

[@EmanMorrison]

I swear I try to run away from ALR in 2020 but here she is as you picture! GorL GO TAKE YOUR ANTIBIOTICS~

[@jkj2011]

I love you, but you are way overthinking this dating thing. If it feels good, go with it it's not life or death. Just have some fun and see what comes of it.

[@JennaMcCallister]

Cassie. I know you are going to get dragged in this video, and I am normally completely in disagreement with most of those comments, but something needs to change for you. If you do not plan on dating these men right away, you either need to be very explicit about that on your profile or get off of dating apps to meet people. Go to local meet ups instead. When you meet someone on a dating app, the expectation is to date. and the purpose of dating is to get to know someone, but if you expect that to be a friendship then that is a completely different story. You can’t blame them for expecting that, it’s just not fair. As far as playing games, the way I see it is that it is being self-aware and considerate of the other person, given that they are likely nervous and still trying to form an impression about you as well. I agree with the comments that seem like you are holding onto what you had in the past, and not letting yourself experience anything in the future. I say all of this because I have been where you are. I was single and dating for almost 4 years after an abusive 8 year relationship. It was incredibly difficult. But what helped me is really getting a firm grasp of what I want, what is fair for other people, and just trying to put things in the best perspective possible. I’ve said it in other videos like this, but maybe you just need to give it a break for a little while or try something different. This is hard, no question. But you have very great expectations that are just beyond what anyone is going to be able to meet until you are able to make a shift within yourself and your habits. I hope that you are able to find some balance and find what works for you.

[@hollyehelms1115]

Jenna Losch Agree. She’s mentioned not being ready to be in a relationship a few good times, so stop dating if you feel guilty for leading people on.

[@oni5705]

Ordinarily you'd be right. But she didn't meet this guy on an app. She met him in an art class she's taking and he asked her out. So in this case she's not wrong to want to be friends and see where it goes since she wasn't looking for anything romantic from this guy....

[@hollyehelms1115]

Oni but she agreed to go on a date, and call it that. She should be upfront if she wants friendship and isn’t ready for what comes after if you like someone

[@gracieshepardtothemax1743]

Oni didn’t she call him “B” because she met him on bumble?

[@oni5705]

@@hollyehelms1115maybe we just have different understandings of what went on. I think she's full on ready for a relationship. She seems to want one badly, she simply hasn't met a guy she really likes. Why should she force something that's not there for her just for the sake of being in a relationship? If she doesn't like him like that, she just doesn't like him like that. Why isn't that ok? Just because you want a relationship doesn't mean you should settle for the first, or second person who comes along if you're not feeling it.

[@mommamia29]

You were so excited last time about this one, almost sounds like you talked yourself out of it.

[@graceg5876]

mommamia29 I think this is it as well!!!!!!

[@DotDotCurveLessThan3]

She did 100%.

[@Sophora121]

Cassie: « He was more focused on the conversation and getting to know me than the art » Also Cassie: « Why can’t we just get to know eachother and that be good enough »

[@christyinthecarolinas]

Why are you even thinking that you need to decide right now? You're only on your second date. The whole point of dating someone is to develop feelings for them. You don't start dating and it's either I'm in love or I'm not. That's lust. You have to grow with someone. That's how marriages are successful. You're constantly learning something new. Just be patient. It's not a race.

[@DanielleNicoleMakeup]

I was just thinking that. It's like she expects by date 2 to have the man either love or despise her. I don't get it

[@itsmejay8406]

"I see him as a friend and I can see things developing in the future.." It's only the second date! That's exactly where you should be! I doubt he's over there in love with you already, so why do you feel wierd that thats not where you are either? That immediate spark that people feel is akin to love at first sight, or let's be real, lust at first sight. Think about it, what about that person could be causing a spark when you know nothing about them yet? More often then not it's physical attraction. Real love takes a deep connection that doesn't usually happen on the first or second date. It takes time to grow into. Think about this: If you weren't as physically attracted to your ex as you were, and you met him and he acted the exact same way with the same mannerisms, just looked less like your type, do you think u would have still felt that spark?

[@anneg7773]

This needs to be said more often. I was about to break up with a great guy because I didn't feel that spark in the beginning. It took me two months to fall in love, but I don't regret waiting because he is a high quality man and as we all know the dating scene today is pure hell and those type of guys are hard to find. So girls, don't be foolish, don't be shallow, if you find a good man, keep him.

[@ransacktheelders5119]

2nd date doesn't mean the expectation that you're in a relationship.

[@melissamwarren]

You seem really afraid of intimacy. You also over think everything. Just hang in there, and see where it goes. Dating isn't leading him on, it's seeing where things go. The spark you felt with your ex didn't go so well for you...why would you want the same feelings with a new guy. You are dating...that ISN'T a relationship. It's dating. You don't need to talk about anyone's expectations.

[@pepperloop6049]

1.If you hate games, why do you play them? 2. Your ex is your ex. It didn’t work, so why are you trying to re-create it? 3. If you are not looking to date, why are you using dating sites?

[@Flutterby1388]

Play the game or get played! Lol. No really you just learn the game so you don't get played. I don't think she meant she was playing game she just does not want to come off as clingy or needy because some dudes are so emotionally unavailable that they just come in and out when they want. I know, them why bother with dudes like that?? But once you feel like you have to be a certain way it gets kind of ingrained in your brain. I think she said it best when she said she has been conditioned this way. That is what these stupid dating apps to do many of us. I an't stand them! I get what she means though.. And I think dating is what she is doing but some people want to make you their girlfriend in one day!!! 😬😱 Yikes! Way too fast. I think her thinking of taking 3 or 4 months to get to know someone are a great idea. It just sounds like she is not sure the dude will go for that. But if he is the right one he will be okay with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Daphnoir]

@@Flutterby1388 there shouldn't be a need for any games between two adults dating.. just makes things complicated. Alot of guys ARE emotionally available and are straightforward and mature enough to reciprocate feelings without beating around the bush...

[@jelisawiltse4198]

Exactly what I’m wondering. At this point I feel like this is just video content.

[@okay.bruv.]

Hi

[@Flutterby1388]

Daphne maybe Oh, I totally agree but maybe not the ones on these dating apps then 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@glitterfarts7445]

I think your overthinking is blocking / messing with your emotions and how you feel...I understand you had a spark with your ex, but you can't look for that same type of spark in every guy you meet or else you're never going to find someone who fits that...sparks come in different and unexpected ways Cassie, and sometimes that spark isn't instantaneous..keep your head up!

[@janaicr9629]

Simplify things hun. Do you like his company? Yes? Then go out with him again! No? Then don't. Ik it may sound overly simplistic, but maybe your just use to over complicating things?? It's easily done. Hell, i do it all the time BUT it gets you stuck in a rut at times. 💗💗💗

[@kimpenwell2625]

Love you girl! You're so much like me it is weird.....

[@puk8691]

you should really drop the '' most men'' thing. it keeps you from seeing how things are with This guy. you dont know him, use it!.

[@gaarafangirl54]

Puk 100% agree. The sexist negative attitude towards men isn’t going to land you one.

[@dameedithezold]

Cassie I saw your instagram story. I don’t think all the people commenting here think you’re an awful person. I think many think you are inexperienced and have many many preconceived notions of what “guys” want. Not all people fall into a category. It’s unfair to judge people like that. But be honest, from your prior videos on what you say you want, this guy seems to have checked all the boxes! He’s paying attention to you, taking the initiative, and clearly wants to spend time with you as well as catering to your interests. He is trying right? Also dating and “hooking up” don’t mean the same thing. You don’t have to be intimate with someone until you are ready and you should put that info up front, no one will fault you for that! But keep in mind, these sparks you crave can easily fizzle. As you’ve read here, not every successful relationship has that to start. Maybe you being so open with your dates and subsequent feelings with these videos isn’t the best way to navigate these waters ... you’re going to get a lot of feedback and you’re not always going to like it. These videos are drawing more views than others it looks like, so maybe this isn’t helping. Many people here support you and want you to succeed in all aspects of your life, but you focus on the negative and what if’s so much!

[@kfox7985]

Much love for this comment after reading the majority!!

[@selinej2167]

You’re making it so complicated, I thought I was an over thinker 😂

[@shmeetee942]

cassie, I think someone needs to tell you that the only person playing these games is you. adults don't play games, if you like someone, contact them, stop thinking that there are rules and games you need to play and you will find dating much more fun. if someone thinks you're clingy or too available because you want to see them or contact them, then they are not the right person for you. squashing these games starts with you. Also, sparks take time, instant parks is typically lust and not always a long term spark - I think you need to adjust your expectations.

[@madgirlintown1994]

You CAN contact them whenever you want to! I promise there's no need to play 'games', if anything you should be yourself and if you want to text, text :)

[@emelielager5453]

madgirlintown Every man I have ever known has said that everything in a relationship is up to the girl to decide! So the rules Cassie talks about seem far away from me. I've pretty much always had to be in charge of what the communication looks like and the direction and speed of everything... Even if it's a guy who's not that interested, it's been up to me to put my foot down. It's nice to be in control, but what I appreciate the most is being able to trust that the other person will show interest and initiative no matter what I do. And I guess that's what the other person feels too, in the end! So holding back or being quiet when you don't want to doesn't serve ANYONE! 😮

[@mbwhims]

Duuuuude. Don't over think it. It's only the second date. I didn't have "sparks" with my husband. It was just lots of good conversation and he is without a doubt the love of my life. Don't have a talk with him. Just move forward and break it off if things don't develop. You aren't getting married! If you are on a dating app without intentions of dating, you are just creating super awkward "dates" for yourself. Leeeeeet it gooooooo! Let it flow! You aren't signing a contract!!! Also on the Sparks, if you have Sparks right off the bat that is lust. Even if it's not a physical thing, it's still lust. Strong feelings shouldn't be on the first few dates IMO. Not saying things can't work out that start that way but for ME sparks signal something different. Like when you start falling in love. And you 100% don't have to be in love to be dating. You don't need to feel like you might fall in love to start dating. THATS WHY WE DATE! To figure out the answers to all these questions you are asking yourself after a second date. Don't let your preconceived notions of what you think, you want, dating to be get in your way. Make all the plans you want, but following whatever plan you think it's right might lead you to miss out on something great!

[@nicoledevine85]

Seriously! The night I met my now husband I thought he was a douche! 🤣 we dated for weeks before becoming “official”

[@susanstetson3435]

When I first met my boyfriend of 8 years I thought here’s another hour of my life I’ll never get back. If anyone had told me I would be with him 8 years later I would’ve laughed my ass off. He is not my “type” even my son’s father pointed that out but apparently my type wasn’t a good fit and I needed a wake up call. He was the first person I’d met online that I had good conversation with before and after the date. I had gotten very jaded about meeting men because whatever chemistry we had disappeared when we met. I’m glad I stuck it out cuz I truly enjoy his company and we get along really well. We have similar upbringings (both military brats) and we share political, moral and ethical views. That is my to say we haven’t had some bad moments but nothing is easy 100% of the time. I’m happier with him even when I’m upset with him. Cassie give yourself some time to find out how you feel.

[@MoonMagickMayhem]

This!!! This is how it was with my fiance and I! And he is the best relationship I have ever had. We're getting married this month. We have a daughter together and he is my oldest daughters' stepfather. I'd take this over the sparks that quickly fizzle out any day! My partner is my best friend and I am so in love with him!

[@alexandram1301]

I swear “sparks” are just lust in her case, when she says she needs to “feel sparks” she clearly means she needs to want to be with them intimately and she’s dragging these poor guys that aren’t up to her physical standard along with a hope she might be attracted to them enough one day to be intimate smh I didn’t have those sparks with my husband either and he’s incredible, my rock...sparks are just a strong physical reaction to the other person’s energy and it is absolutely NOT a necessity for lasting love

[@ryleeengelhardt3018]

This is depressing. Cassie, you don’t seem happy. Even aside from the dating, everything has a negative vibe. That’s no way to live, I promise, that’s not “normal”! You deserve happiness & sometimes you gotta shake things up to find it.

[@melodiechartier5173]

hummmmm i also hate how "optimistic" people try to make everything seem like life is all rainbow and unicorn... yes she is mostly negative but unfortunately that how often it goes ... it's called being realistic!!!! that way your expectation are not too high and when things dont go as planned ( most of the time) the fall is not as great. that's a lesson you learn has you get older and get a bit of experience....

[@ryleeengelhardt3018]

Melodie Chartier 😯 erm, no. I know a lot of older people who live brilliant lives and maintain optimism despite life’s struggles. If things don’t go as planned most of the time for you, you might want to check your planning skills. That’s not normal, either. Yep, life takes a LOT of effort and sacrifice. If you aren’t putting in the work, your life will be just as you described - depressing. Just because YOU accept mediocrity doesn’t mean most people do, or should. Life *is* great, but it’s what *you* make of it.

[@nessa6878]

It’s not wise to compare potential future relationships to past relationships, your feelings will never be the same every time.

[@TheCutejellybean]

all of your dating vids end the same way, with you pulling back and talking yourself out of liking the guy, then you complain about how hard and difficult modern dating is. i don't get it, nobody is forcing you to follow any "mind games" just tell the guy how you feel, you want to attract people with a similar personality to you right? who cares if you push away some guys, they're not what you're interested in anyway. dating isnt that complicated

[@joanhall1384]

I feel like if the guy really seems to like you it is a bit of a turn off for you. Just because he’s making it easy doesn’t mean anything. He could be thinking the same things. Just go with it. You may not have that spark you have with your ex. I feel like that spark was a little bit of lust too. Keep on going out with him. Sounds like he wants to know you. It makes me crack up when you complain that he was trying to get to know you and you wanted to look at the art. When you d been dating for a year you go to look at the art. Not on the second date. 🤗

[@cadavher]

One of my favourite "quotes" for you doll, "When a man makes you feel giddy, heart beat fast, and feel excited, walk away. When a man makes you feel warm, comfortable, safe and secure, hold onto him" We are so often looking for the first type, because its "exciting" and we mistake butterflies and that rush for love when it is infatuation instead. Once that fades, so does the relationship more often then not. But with the second one, those are qualities that if you find, most likely wont fade. Wish you the best woman!

[@erinmcintosh3969]

“How do you explain that to somebody?” Communication is key. You just have to be open with your expectations and wants/needs. Don’t project how he would feel without even talking to him about it.

[@taompons]

don’t rely on sparks. my current boyfriend and i were friends for a while before feelings were developed. just let the dates flow.

[@Ashley92090]

I’d love to follow you on a fitness journey! Not a “get skinny” Journey. But a “get strong” journey!

[@selenasmith2489]

That needs to be my goal for 2020 x

[@deadgirl5805]

@@selenasmith2489 omg. I think I've seen you comment on ALR videos:) crazy to see you here!

[@sahtification]

@@selenasmith2489 this was my 2019 goal. I could not be more proud of myself. Do that, you will improve your way of living

[@ladybugspritz]

cassie, you’re the one buying into, solidifying, and continuing the use of these “games” that come with dating. i know you mean nothing wrong but it’s a childish way to think about relationships, and communication between people is necessary for a relationship. stop dancing around talking to him whenever you want, talking to them will often make them feel special and make it seem like you actually care about getting to know them. the holidays make sense but the dating world is only “like that” because people buy into it. exude confidence by making the moves you ACTUALLY want.

[@tattyuk75]

A lot of people have said some very wise and loving words in the comments today. I’m not sure whether Cassie is looking for advice or using the video as a type of diary though. Either way, I hope some of the insights from us outsiders are helpful. My only advice in addition is...it’s okay to look a bit sexy on a date, there’s no need to avoid being seen as a sexual being completely even if you’re not sure if there is sexual attraction between you yet, you wouldn’t be leading him on! It’s like you’re trying to hide your body and emotions from this guy. I wish you could work on that over the coming years along with your overall health like you talked about because if anyone deserves to be loved and to have someone to love, it’s you Cassie ❤️

[@Ashley-om6zo]

I say this with love. I don’t think these apps are for you and you might not be ready to date. These men aren’t 16, they want a relationship. You don’t seem like you’re into hooking up or dating but I’m sure they are

[@alexandram1301]

“That’s how I’ve been conditioned” noooo that’s on you, you have the power to do whatever you want, you CHOOSE not to….and look at all the grief you put yourself through for absolutely nothing

[@melneal7396]

“Let’s just get to know each other and have that be ok” Girl, that is dating! I’m not sure what you are expecting, but it is totally ok to go on more than 2 dates with someone and not be “in a relationship” with them. You put way too much pressure on defining your relationships. Has he indicated he wants to be exclusive? Do you want to be exclusive? You are acting as if you have a decision to make at this point and you don’t. There is no need to overthink something that hasn’t even happened yet. Just date and have a good time. But i agree with the others who have said if you aren’t looking for a relationship, then don’t use dating sites. It’s not fair to the guys who are looking and asking you out.

[@gcou8062]

Love your channel. With that said, since you asked for comments, here goes. Until you're over your ex, stop dating. Comparisons to how u felt about your ex permeate every dating experience you're having. Perhaps you need to take an honest look at your relationship with your ex. Was he really such a good guy that you are looking for someone like him again? It seems that that relationship ended badly & that goes not only to an incompatibility but memories of him that aren't accurate. It just seems that you don't know what you want (other than what you had b4) and that's just not going to happen.

[@robiniqbal3653]

I don’t think it’s fair to carry a past relationship into a new one. Each are different and sparks ebb and flow in any relationship. Seems like you need to go all in instead of putting preconceived notions on him ie: you will seem desperate, because he isn’t giving you that indication. If a guy doesn’t want to see you he won’t go on a date with you and you found a guy that was interested in what you had to say! Like wow!!! Guys are really a lot simpler than you give them credit for. They don’t generally overthink like we do. They are action motivated. He is interested.

[@sweeterthanhoneytalon5039]

I don't know how you write your dating profile, but you should directly indicate that you're not into hookups or physical intimacy until you get to know the person. At least then, any expectation is already off the table, and the guys you match with might be the same way.

[@jelisawiltse4198]

This is getting hard to watch. One second you want to take it slow and be friends. And the next you’re upset if a guy isn’t decisive enough quickly enough. But you also hate playing games and are not looking for hookups and want a relationship. But you are on a dating app and don’t know if you want to date...???

[@Violet-ee9yx]

I’m confused why are you on dating websites if your not looking for a relationship?

[@itsnotme5370]

My question is: then why are you going on dates if you don’t want a relationship...? 🤔 so confusing, to be honest.

[@salem5953]

Chick FilA exactlyy

[@thriftthick]

I don't know when I ever said I don't want a relationship? I'm looking because I want one..... maybe my definition of a relationship is different from others? I'm confused reading these types of comments to be honest lol

[@lejla1016]

Cass, I think the confusion comes from how contradicting u sound. U are on a dating app (where ppl join to find *romance* or *love*), and the first half of the vid u keep calling it “a date”. But then the last half of the vid, u say u “feel friendship” and that ud be “open to dating in a few months”. If u want friendship then join MeetUp!

[@olivialeigh5359]

Gemini probz

[@Flutterby1388]

She said she wants to build into a relationship over time. And it does take time to get to know someone. Cassie, I think all you need to decide is if you want to KEEP getting to know this guy. How do you feel when you are with him? I get wanting to figure things out right away. I think we do that to avoid getting hurt or hurting others. You don’t have to know the beginning from the end. You won’t. Just go allow for ride.

[@bethanikp]

I haven’t dated in 5 years so I may be a bit out of the loop.. we only see a small fraction of your life here, but it’s seems like you get in your own way a little bit, like you self-sabotage. Your ex is your ex for a reason, which you know of course, but maybe the spark you’re looking for is different from guy to guy. It’s the little things like him agreeing with your feelings on modern art that made you glow, and there is a reason why you were getting butterflies before you left to meet him. I hope you keep giving him a chance ❤️

[@drvaninair]

Why do I think you are pushing away people..... is it really you or... I dont understand. You want to be in the game but you dont give it a real try

[@jess-tu6jc]

I think she's lonely but not completely ready to date. Like shes in the middle phase. Which is fine, but yeah.

[@coniiiism]

You need to stop comparing what you felt with your ex with the new person you are getting to know, give it a chance , sometimes the slowly falling for someone it's better than feeling instant attraction

[@danielaah6758]

LOL you took your date to a museum to avoid speaking to him, that's mean girl. You're the one playing games, poor guy.

[@smbarone2000]

I think he was taking her to the museum because they were to go there anyway, yes? They're in art history class together.

[@lucerolucero12]

you’re not giving these guys a fair shot if they’re constantly trying to compete with a guy who..........didn’t want to be with you

[@breb.7147]

Girl, I totally feel you when it comes to dating. I’m 35 and my last relationship was 2 years ago. Every time I try getting back into dating lately, I feel exactly like you described. I feel like I just want to be friendly with people and don’t necessarily want a relationship. I’ve come to realize that I am simply not ready for the expectations and responsibilities of a relationship and have no idea when I will be ready. Always trust your instincts and just do what makes you happy!

[@leeann6107]

You over think everything. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you seem unhappy and you need to get out of your home and work on finding happiness. I didn't like my husband when I first met him. Just have fun and give the guy a break, your ex is gone and you need to stop going back in past and step into the future. Join a club, exercise, take walk . Your talking yourself out of life's pleasures. Live, love and laugh. Life is too short.

[@rainstarr1]

I'm wondering if you should go back to your therapist (no shade intended). I just think you did so well after the doctors show maybe she can help you with your issues on dating. I feel you have a lot of baggage from your ex and it's preventing you from moving on. Honestly, you may be the one thinking to much about the sex situation. The guy might want to get to know you too. I don't know what happened with your ex but could you two have went straight to sex after the 2nd date and your scared to go down that road because of how it ended? Don't answer me but think about it. You seem to talk yourself out of liking these guys and not onto a 3rd date. If you're being honest with the guys then it should ease the pressure. Enjoy your dates. Have fun. Relax. But, try not to compare ever guy to your ex. He turned out to be a douche bag so raise your standards. Obviously he is low bar.

[@GW-gz8jh]

My long term healthy relationships all tended to build over time. The one crazy sudden spark ended with me being involved with a narcissist (possible sociopath per therapist) and it was a nightmare. Attraction is important, but sudden intense fireworks can also be a red flag at times. I’d let it just see where it goes if you enjoy spending time with the people.

[@StephieGsrEvolution]

Yes, yes, yes! You know it!

[@Emily-jd2hf]

I think you keep looking for someone to replace your ex and for as long as you expect/want them to behave the same or act in a way that reminds you of your ex, you wont be satisfied. Try to remember the bad things your ex did or how he made you unhappy as well bc i think it helps put things in perspective. I think you should give this guy a chance and try to be 100% open to it. I love these videos bc i think more youtubers should be this raw and open about real life like you are. Thank you for being you cassie!🥰 hope it works out :)

[@madmaddy9150]

Girl don’t over think it! Just go with a flow, you don’t have to feel romantic right now!!!

[@BlueintoIndigo]

No sane person wants to have that convo after dates. You are so in your head in circles, anxious, you spiral out so fast.

[@DoesAngelsHaveWings]

If you're not looking to date right away, why are you on bumble?

[@thriftthick]

I guess my definition of dating is different from a lot of people here the comments... ^^;

[@KawaiiKat22]

@@thriftthick it's not that your definition of dating is different to anyone's, you are just not being clear. You want to find The One. Am I right? You are expecting to immediately fall in love or become really good friends and eventually start dating in a solid relationship. The only thing with that is I don't know if bumble is the right place to find serious relationships (truly don't know because I don't use it)

[@DoesAngelsHaveWings]

@@thriftthick Your definition seems to be "forming a friendship which will later hopefully turn into a meaningful relationship" and you are NOT going to find that on a dating app. You can't really go looking for relationships like that

[@jerseycow7494]

@@DoesAngelsHaveWings I mean, I've found that on a dating site and yes, you can totally seek out a relationship and begin with friendship

[@missdelaney]

​@@thriftthick if you're looking to create friendships that maybe eventually turn into a relationship, is Bumble really the place to do it?? Try taking a class, meeting someone you volunteer with, etc: these are people you can meet, be friends with and potentially build a relationship with. Meanwhile people on Bumble... these are people who are looking to get into a relationship from the jump

[@LilMissFangirl]

Wow... I've been supportive of you through all your dating videos, but this one? I disagree with other people. You ARE leading him on. He's genuinely interested in you, he didn't even care about the artwork, and he's an ARTIST. Jerking this guy around because he's not your ex is genuinely awful tbh. I started out as friends with my partner, I liked him that way but then I thought it would never work so I just pursued a friendship. 2 years later we're still together and going strong. And I had only been out of a bad relationship for 1 year (with therapy). I get everyone is different, I get being hung up, but jerking this genuinely nice guy around because you want your ex back so this guy should expect to be a pal until you're good and ready? No. That's so unfair and not ok to him. I normally don't write negative comments but man I just do not think this is ok for this poor dude.

[@amamae4499]

So she totally confuses me when it comes to dating.

[@gaarafangirl54]

AMA Mae Same! She talks about hating these “games” yet she’s playing the same game? Like, what do you want him to do?

[@marziacutajar5567]

It's gotten tiring at this point..

[@amamae4499]

When she said I want to get to know each other. I was like no you don't say. Isn't that what your doing by going on dates. It's like if a guy shows her interest she doesn't like them and if they dont shes upset over it.

[@BC-dm5bi]

I think she’s gay

[@johnthomas6409]

Renee Inez or A sexual

[@judithanne3533]

"The spark" is a self inflicted escape tactic our generation made up to be able to say things dont work if youe unsure. You want someone to be a friend, my husband is my best friend and thats what you need in a relationship or marriage. Learn about him, ask the hard questions later on. See if sense of humor, likes in food and movies mesh....can you hang out at your place or his and just be around eachother. Think about how much time we spend sitting in the same room as someone else not talking. Dont over look for instant love....it doesnt exist. That ideal is how i ended up divorced at 23

[@Jessa8891]

Have you watch old movies? Love at first sight and a spark have been around long before millennials! 😂😂😂 The think is real life is not like the movies and sparks don’t always happen when you meet your true love.

[@BlueintoIndigo]

It's like the date was a formality to you shutting down.

[@F1_01]

You keep talking about how you don't like all the games of dating, but YOU are playing games with him 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@thriftthick]

I know I'm playing the games.... it's hypocritical and I HATE IT!!! Just like I said in the video. Because whenever I DON'T play these stupid games then I end up getting labeled negatively or tossed aside... I feel like I have to play along :(

[@Jessa8891]

Thrift Thick, girl that is ridiculous. You don’t need to play games.

[@rg3544]

Thrift Thick if NOT playing the “game” gets your negatively labeled or put to the side... then the person wasn’t for you. That’s it. Just some tough love.

[@merylbonderow5993]

Thrift Thick If you feel game-playing is part of this experience, know that it doesn’t have to be. I may be older but believe sincerity of feeling is a real thing, still. If you and a guy are sensing a mutual connection, it will play out. Don’t overthink.

[@cindyromero584]

F1 I don’t think she is playing games If she’s being truthful to him

[@lisab.1595]

It's a second date, that's all it is. No need to have ''talks" about where it's going. Enjoy the evening out and stop worrying about it going anywhere at this point. Maybe you're more worried it won't continue , so you want to bow out now before that happens. Just enjoy the companionship and stop wondering where it's going, months from now. You can't look at every single date as a lifelong commitment, it's two people enjoying each others company, talking , having things in common and just having a nice night out. If it goes somewhere, fine, if not, so what. You can't look at every single date like, how long is this going to last. You can't look at every single date like .....is this the one? If you do that, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself that's simply not necessary. I've had male friends for years that are just friends. One I like to go antiquing with, another one is into jazz , like I am. Sometimes we don't see each other for months, and, so what. There are no sparks, it's just a couple of people having a nice night out, with common interests. I'm a widow, and these are just old friends I've known for a long time, and will probably be friends with them the rest of my life. No pressure at all, and that's the way a date should be.

[@1229mariah]

I enjoy the honesty of these videos. As someone who is VERY experienced at the online dating thing, I think you need to let go of the expectations you seem to be bringing to the table. It puts way too much pressure on the situation. Just go with the flow, and let things develop naturally. You said you think most people expect a relationship to develop right away, I would actually argue the opposite, that the vast majority of people dating online aren’t just expecting to be in a relationship after two or three dates. It takes time. Give yourself (and the guys) a break.

[@hollyehelms1115]

You’ve mentioned a few times, not being ready to date. You don’t have to decide over 2 dates if he’s the one you want to be with, give it time. If he’s not pushing a relationship then stop worrying about the title or status.

[@rosie2288]

I never felt the “spark” with my boyfriend. He’s the absolute love of my life and he’s the only person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with but I never felt those nervous butterflies when I saw him and I thought that it meant that I didn’t like him like that. I realized that the reason I felt those butterflies with my ex is because I didn’t feel fully comfortable around him and was nervous around him (in a good way). My current boyfriend makes me feel SO comfortable and loved and secure and he has done this since date 1. He’s my best friend. I REALLY hope you give this guy a chance ❤️

[@mydailyreward2090]

Cassie will you just stop?! Take a deep breath and just GET TO KNOW THE GUY! Just freaking relax.

[@Graycie2]

FFS, Cassie. Don't ruin this with a "talk". You've been on 2 dates. Let it become whatever it becomes. You're not signing a freaking contract, here. You don't have to lay out terms and conditions.

[@barbaraescobar490]

You should try to be more optimistic about life and things. You have to believe that you can do anything you want!! And don’t put that much pressure on your dates, just let it flow...

[@dustystars5306]

Quit thinking about your ex. Clearly that spark was just that a spark.

[@thriftthick]

trust me, I'm not looking to date my ex lol we didn't work out for a reason! But that initial spark... I'd be lying if I said I didn't like that and would enjoy having it again. The rest of the relationship/why we broke up? Nope, I'm not looking for that at ALL.

[@melodiechartier5173]

Thrift Thick i get what you mean, the initial connection not the way it turn out...

[@CherokeeJaleigh]

That flannel is atrocious. Especially for an art gallery!!!!!???? Sorry, just my personal opinion, but I would NEVER. I wish there was an emoji for my face when she put that on. 😬 Also, this was literally your SECOND DATE! Why is there a need for some big talk??? Maybe things are different in Minnesota.

[@gaetanodragonetti3942]

Yes. That flannel was not even cute and for the meeting even less. It was also not flattering to her body shape. And the hairstyle was not the best choice. She should definitely emphasize her attributes.

[@sassyitalian3157]

Ugh most people are like that in MN I’m from there moved to southern MO and never ever going back! Haha

[@melodiechartier5173]

Gaetano Dragonetti what's wrong with her body shape?? and in case you don't know there is not much she can do with her hair, she as a medical condition and her hair are getting thinner, what else you want her to do with it ? Imagine you are balding and i would tell you that your hairstyle doesn't suit you ??? think about how stupid that sounds...

[@cassandrawillier1314]

Real Love is something that develops over time (it’s not a spark), it develops through difficult situations like seeing someone at their worst or when they are sick or even when losing a loved one. Focus on the friendship and having a good time, if it’s right love will follow and develop with time❤️⏳

[@NunOfYourBusiness5674]

Why are you on a dating site if friendship is what you want? Is that on your profile ? If not then your not being fair to any of them. Just go with the flow and see where it takes you.

[@jordansimpson7387]

I think you should either put in more effort because it seems like you’re really holding back, or just wait to date anyone until you’re actually ready. It seems like you do this sometimes where you’re excited before the date and then want to quit as soon as it isn’t exactly perfect! Maybe you’re just not ready for a relationship at all. Or you won’t stop sabotaging yourself to actually create and enjoy one. I hope you figure it out sometime!

[@charlesm.d8577]

Never drop the "where is this going" on a second date with any man you'll send even goood ones RUNNING. You sparked with a man who's no longer in your life why are you looking to replace that. Lastly you always are super into the ones who aren't into you but turned off by the smallest details. Relax about your dating life. You're young sweet and beautiful. Take it easy

[@IM26C4UU]

Charles M.D the good ones just say “idk it’s too early we’ll see” and make some joke sis

[@michelle7286]

Cassie you can’t have expectations like that

[@glowdoggy4658]

Is it truly that spark you think you're missing, or could it be more deeply rooted in your own fear of becoming intimate with someone? Just a thought?

[@reneekemp6624]

Why are you so off in this video?

[@ryleeengelhardt3018]

Renee Kemp I thought the same, she emanates sadness & anxiety. I honestly feel bad for her, I wouldn’t want to live that way.

[@LeeDee5]

Renee Kemp I hadn’t watched any of her videos close to 2 years now and for some reason out of nowhere today I was like “I wonder what thrift thick is up to? Is her channel still alive?” Then I come here and it’s the same old weird vibes, off-putting statements, and pressuring energy that I’ve gotten from her.

[@melodiechartier5173]

Rylee Engelhardt it's not a choice to live that way...sadness and anxiety is not something you want or chose... ignorance is ,though

[@ryleeengelhardt3018]

Melodie Chartier haha no kidding. No one implied she wanted to be sad. As I said, I feel for her.

[@-danny.]

You're looking for something that is portrayed in the movies. It's not really how it works. You can keep going out with him and see how it goes. Feeling "sparks" isn't just something that happens when you first meet someone. Can it happen? Sure. But that's not a guarantee. You can't keep giving up on guys cuz it didn't go exactly how it went with another guy! You may feel a spark after a few months, maybe you'll never feel it. But you need to give it time.

[@6karate]

Honestly just get of the dating apps. Just go about your life and you'll find someone more natural that way instead of filtering thru the people whom choose to use those apps. I did the same thing and just got annoyed. Get off the phone and go out. Doesn't even matter where. Bookstore? Coffee shops? Parks when it's nice out? Just out and about is a lot better then relying on an app.

[@StephieGsrEvolution]

YES!

[@chanilin3475]

I feel sorry for the guy... You don't want to get to know him? But then you also want friendship? No dating? People are on these apps to find romance, if it doesn't work out that way it's alright it happens. But then don't meet with him 10 times and call it a date which has a romantic connotation if you only want friendship. If you are 100% sure you cannot ever develop feelings for this guy then I think you should tell him soon.

[@amberpease16]

Introvert here 🙋‍♀️. I completely understand needing some “recharge me time.”

[@gretchen9433]

I love that you’re willing to say everything you’re thinking even if it comes with judgement. People love to give obvious advice, but we all have similar thoughts and struggles despite how easy it is to correct someone else. ALSO that foundation is such a perfect match for you, I’m astounded!

[@vannessa-elizabeth3993]

This is honestly advice i would give to my younger sisters dating they came to me with the same issues: Honestly, dating is just a friendship with potential relationship at the end. There is ZERO obligation to sleep or be physical with someone just because you are dating. Enjoy the time out. Ask questions. Notice the little things like how they've combed their hair, or tied their laces or if they've got jewelery on, ask about the origins. If you feel like holding their hand, do it. If you feel you have to do something you are uncomfortable with, politely decline and add, I'm not ready for that yet. I feel like the lack of ability to move forward for yourself comes from a lack of self esteem. Just because you use a dating app doesn't mean every man on it is only wanting sex. Have some trust in YOURSELF for chosing this person to go on a date with. I suffer with extreme anxiety too, I 100% get the nerves you feel and the sabotaging but you also DESERVE the happiness you are persuing. If he is still interested in a 3rd date, it means he is interested in getting to know you. He is happy to spend that time with you that could be spent else where. It doesn't mean hes rushing out to buy a ring and propose. He's just happy to hang out with you. 😊 please don't take anything I've said as hurtful, it isnt my intention.

[@michelerosequreshey8345]

Great advice! 👍

[@susanacfernandes]

"This will be a good year for a lot of us!"... Aged like milk 😬😬😬

[@Ashley-om6zo]

Most of the time that “spark” is just lust. I hung around my now husband for a year before I decided I might like to date him and we’ve been together for almost 9 years. Please don’t over think this let gooooooo

[@liz28712]

Literally none of the comments are about you " hopping into bed with someone " 🤷‍♀️

[@GurlWitSwag123]

These stress me out.

[@gaetanodragonetti3942]

Carli Glenn same. I actually don’t watch much of it but read the comments instead haha. It is stressful and depressing

[@AMVilla74]

Cassie. Don't label it. Don't rank it. Don't put it in a pyramid. It's a date. What else did you have to do? Just go, spend time with another person. It doesn't have to be a relationship right off the bat. You don't have to commit to liking or not liking anything. If you had fun, do it again. If it didn't bring you happiness and you're going to stress over missed opportunity, then it didn't bring you joy and let it go. Let go of plans and overthinking and just let your feelings tell you if you want to spend your time with that person.

[@kalliyahblack7559]

Atp your just wasting these men’s time if your going to go on a date then go home & talk about how your confused & u don’t want to lead people on then you need to leave the dating alone you’ve done this your last couple of dates which I’m sorry is so annoying go back to your ex or delete bumble

[@christianalexandermarion]

if you'd like to focus on finding or creating a romantic spark sex it up with the outfit. make the next date less public & more intimate. bring him a gift to let him know you were thinking of him. doesn't mean you have to makeout & sleep together.

[@jordansimpson7387]

Christian Marion this is really fantastic advice! I think that’s why my fiancé and I have lasted this long because we did this for the first couple of years

[@hannahnimrick1490]

Honestly, I haven’t been in the dating game for almost 10 years and am very lucky to have found the love of my life early in life. But with that being said, I definitely don’t think dating apps are made for a person like you. Especially not bumble. If you want an organic connection and to be friends with someone first you’ve gotta ditch the dating apps because the entire premise of them is for a romantic connection. Not a friendship for months, then romance connection. And if you continue use them you’ve got to be a lot more open minded.

[@katbatson]

“I don’t have a hair routine.” *proceeds to talk about said hair routine that includes texturizing mist, gel, dry shampoo, and scrunching / drying techniques* lmao

[@Kellybergman7529]

Oh Cassie, I was so excited watching you get ready, and then when you got home the deflation was obvious. Can you just date the guy? As in, just go on dates, and not settle into a serious relationship? It sounds like you feel expected to jump in at the deep end, when really, the guy most likely feels apprehensive too. Let it develop. The spark is important, BUT it doesn’t always happen straight away. In fact the sparks that grow into flames, are usually the ones that smolder first. You can’t have a relationship without being friends first, or at least not often. 💕💕

[@hatchmando4918]

So wait is this a date or a school assignment?

[@katesantell6719]

Definitely don’t put pressure on anything and just see where it goes! Most people will date around or date for a while before they slap the exclusive, or the boyfriend/girlfriend talk. It’s hard when you’re anxious and want to plan, but it may have a negative effect when brought up too soon. It also sounds like he is interested, and not putting too much pressure on you either. My boyfriend of over a year and I met on a dating app, and it was about 2 and a half months before being “official.”

[@kbrandt4015]

Introvert here!! I totally get it. I like people a lot. It's just that I'm depleted by engaging and I really need time alone to regenerate. Thanks for trying to explain us!

[@LifeDIY]

I hope the 2nd date went well! I think the comments are a bit harsh. I understand what you're dealing with. The part where you mentioned about these games we have to play in modern society - regarding not contacting someone, not being clear or upfront... You don't have to do things that way! It is your choice to be really blunt if you want to and really clear with your thoughts. I know it's not easy but it is freeing. You can call or contact someone and if they can't handle it, then that's fine. :) I totally relate to the struggles with introversion and dating and it really is tough to date nowadays in general. For anyone who has had a rough upbringing or childhood, it is very challenging to let someone in. Good idea to read a book about boundaries. Anyway, I really agree with your chat at the end of the video. Just talk to him. No need to place any expectations other than meeting and seeing how it goes. No labels are needed in the beginning - just having experiences together. Anyway, you took the first (and 2nd) step - with dating to begin with. It can be really challenging when you like to analyze and overthink things instead of talking it through with someone. :) I really hope it went well! Also, you look so pretty!

[@chairxofxbowlies]

You should delete bumble. I don’t think you’re ready to date. You make excuses for everything and just talk yourself out anything good. If you’re not looking to date and are hung up on your ex you have no reason to be on dating apps.

[@heather5391]

chairxofxbowlies Some people are never fully “ready” to date. Dating is about exploring options. She’s not lying to anyone. No harm done in seeing what’s out there.

[@hannahelizabeth5693]

@@heather5391 ^^^^^ exactly!

[@kathrynwestbrook3486]

Cassie, this is what I hope for you. You move to a fun city where you intern and work at a creative artsy place and you create memories with lots of friends. You finally find someone because you're vibrant happy self is exuberant and it's easy and uncomplicated. You deserve finding joy.

[@Clueless_Redhead]

maybe you shouldn't expecting a long term type friendship with a guy from a dating app... if you want a friendship with the person first then you shouldn't be on a dating app expecting something that isn't realistic in a short amount of time. No one is going to be perfect and you need to realize that. its ok to be picky but you are being picky about things that they cant control. it seems like you are creating these problems about them for yourself out of fear and anxiety. if you want them to know and be ok with how you are not perfect, then you have to do the same for them.... sorry hun.... just saying....

[@MoonMagickMayhem]

In my experience, you can't go on expecting the type of connection you had with an ex. I have learned that it never works out if you do that. You have to appreciate each relationship as it comes to you and for it's unique quality. If you can see things moving forward, that's great! Sometimes it takes a bit for things to click and to feel those romantic feelings my current fiance (getting married in less than 2 weeks!) Was an old acquaintance that I reconnected with after a breakup. It certainly wasn't immediately fireworks, though we did click off the bat as friends. It took us spending time together and talking for those feelings and sparks to build. And now I can honestly say this is the best, healthiest, happiest relationship I have ever had. Much better than the previous relationship where I felt sparks right away, but we never really went anywhere.