Tim's Kitchen Tips -- Episode 1

Tim Heidecker teaches you how to make Russian dressing with some help from Eric Wareheim.
Buy the Pitzman's Mustard beanie and more official Tim and Eric merch now at timanderic.com...
Subscribe to Tim and Eric: bit.ly/TIMandER...
Stock Footage Provided by Pond5: www.pond5.com
Directed by: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim
Executive Producer: Daniel Kellison
Executive Producer: Doug Deluca
Executive Producer: Mickey Meyer
Head of production: AJ Tesler
Senior Producer: Debbie Chesebro
Producer: Nicholas Veneroso
Associate Producer: Chou Yam
Director's Assistant: Caroline Bader
Director of Photography: Chris Darnell
1st Assistant Camera: Dustin Yates
Cameraman: Benji Lanpher
Post Supervisor: Josh Kurz
Editor: Nick Gallucci
DIT/Assistant Editor: Aron Fyne
Visual Effects: Shane Winter
Gaffer: Chris Walters
Best Boy: Tyler Johnson-Williams
Sound Mixer: Kevin Bellante
Costume Designer: Ayumi Moore
Make-up: Elle Favorule
Make-up Assistant: Victoria Boothroyd
Set Designer: Julie Ziah
Art: Ashley Hankla
Field Coordinator: Zach Mahassine
Set Photographer: Todd Mole
Office Intern: Adrienne Visnic
Twitter: OfficialTandE
Instagram: timanderic
Facebook: officialTIMandERIC

[@user1point0]

"Well, just don't tell them there's mustard in it" The mustard being the very first thing Eric notices

[@kwizatzhannahrach]

I’m sure the extra Pitzman’s all over the lettuce at 3:34 didn’t help 😂

[@whatr0]

very unprofessional behavior from Eric if you ask me he didn't even give any helpful tasting notes

[@RonDansec]

Lmao awesome catch / point out

[@SuperPussyFinger]

Thanks for the blow-by-blow explication.

[@VaporwaveRick]

Tastes like a runny ketchup sauce with a lot of mustard... Thanks for having me.

[@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3]

I made this for my dad, and you know what he did?! He freaking moved!

[@powerslop7941]

Lol

[@MrJimmyTide]

It's funny because he barely put any mustard in it.

[@TwentyOne_Five]

Lol!!!

[@carrotslat8100]

@@CircmcisionIsChi1dAbus3 not once, not 12, but a dozen times

[@MattMonk]

It's one of my favourite things and I think Tim is the best at false sincerity, he must have watched a shitload of television growing up.

[@billyboyo2922]

MattMonk false sincerity is such a good way to word it.

[@stepj7973]

MattMonk oxymoron, much?

[@TheMarleyDavidson]

@OgreWolf It's just paying attention to detail.

[@letsplaybaby8098]

Sure that's exactly where he learned it.

[@BB-vo8bv]

I'd agree with the possible exception of David Cross

[@BryceEdwardBrown]

I can't believe he actually got real mayonnaise for this video, the absolute dedication!

[@92GreyBlue]

Wait REAL mayonnaise???? You've got to be kidding me that's amazing. Gordon Ramsay would be jealous.

[@film79]

It's cute you believe him. But real mayo comes across neon blue on hollywood digital film cameras so I'm sure he used white out like Emeril lagasse does.

[@gm3145]

I'm eating it now

[@DeathOrGlory83]

Oh cmon, everybody knows it’s really all about the pitzman’s.

[@heyimgoingtoplaysomegames]

@@DeathOrGlory83 Pissman’s

[@Maxbear1112]

I love how Eric grabbed a piece of lettuce to dip and when they cut to him eating it was celery.

[@markbeaver4806]

Wow, this is true 4:59 😮 Their attention to detail is amazing

[@davidswanson5669]

Pitzman’s mustard will do that.

[@jele5116]

You buffoon, it’s the Pitzman’s mustard

[@BlackF3ather]

I can't believe how incredible he is at being sincere. I literally got lulled into thinking "Hey, is this real?" and then the mixing began 😂

[@James-if3kc]

Well, he is an actor, lol.

[@BlackF3ather]

@@James-if3kc True, but I think few comedic actors have a gift for false sincerity like Tim does. He can elevate every awkward situation to seem uncannily genuine.

[@James-if3kc]

@@BlackF3ather True!

[@bradheiple1865]

This comment has me 💀

[@uberpies]

❤ Any video with a comment containing “and then the mixing began”

[@KoH4711]

"You're... you're makin sauce, dude." "I know. I know I am."

[@ff7522]

Picks up the lettuce. Scene switches to him eating celery. Nice touch.

[@andrewdavid601]

ff7522 it's also romaine, not iceberg

[@TheDisconsolateTruth]

ramane cellery

[@TC-be7kx]

Nice cut, he probably brought some celery, no biggie! We'll just edit that out once Eric gets out of the editing room.

[@dreamtrashed]

The camera angle switches in the beginning are a spot on absolutely perfect parody of actual Food Network shows.

[@poolsofbloodinyourstomach]

Yes, yes they are.

[@conorhoney7776]

i love how they keep doing those angles when the show falls apart and eric is yelling

[@canadude6401]

and the zoom in at the Pitzman's mustard "sponsor" 2:43 and the little musical number at 3:46 when he brings in his guest. Genius level parody

[@TC-be7kx]

Yet they never use Pitzmann's original. I wonder why?

[@michaelkayser4194]

The subtle physical comedy with looking at the wrong camera for a few seconds every time is just lovely.

[@TC-be7kx]

well that is editing (Eric).. By the way did you see he changed outfit?

[@Huntington12345678]

I had Pitzman's Mustard on some cinnamon rolls, once. For about a week, I lost feeling in a few left toes, but I could see right through most medical bondings and adhesives.

[@johnthompson145]

A must-try tip.

[@Bhatt_Hole]

You lie!

[@AyooMuzz]

Lmfaooooooo

[@favoritemustard3542]

Plot Twist: they were his right toes!

[@brandonk6327]

what a funny comment

[@jivecjedkin]

As soon as the stirring started I said "Heeeeeere we go."

[@ActualKaktus]

Eric being a real life foodie (with a cookbook) makes this even better.

[@SquidSnuggles]

Really?

[@batteredskullsummit9854]

Sue me, I'm a foodie. Take me to your sushi haha

[@TC-be7kx]

Can't very well have a foodie show without a cook-book. What are you? a nazi?

[@Matt-vw9nd]

Tim and Eric's comedy is the natural conclusion of anyone who's ever looked around and asked "what the fuck is actually happening here?"

[@maxh4651]

Thats a hilarious way to put it

[@chrisneely8130]

And the best way to explain it and all of its weird glory.

[@SofaKingShit]

That's my area of expertise.

[@TC-be7kx]

All sauces start with the basics. I don't know what you mean by that phrase.

[@misswinter3361]

The sound of that sauce slopping around woke up my cat.

[@staciicats7330]

😂

[@TC-be7kx]

That is the gift that keeps on giving. Tim and Eric taught me so much, I am flabberghasted at the techniques, and the sheer passion. Nothing says s(ch)loppy, like I do in my kitchen.

[@AverageJoeCinema]

Lost a little bit there.

[@ballisticgamer9107]

o really i diddnt even notice lol

[@noabman4093]

Just a little.

[@0mnicide]

It’s funny because he lost a lot.

[@toolthoughts]

here!

[@nerdysophie]

*_D r e s s i n g d i s c o u n t_*

[@ryanneil5249]

I can't explain it, but Tim's cooking tips calms me down so much that I actually watch one episode every night before bed

[@ericwycoff1399]

***** With what a harsh email lmfao

[@ericwycoff1399]

***** and take that hood hat of street rat.

[@BrianBattles]

That's called boredom

[@dmuse1981]

He has a great way of speaking, very smooth voice delivery.

[@TotinosOtherBoy]

There was a month back in 2013 where I watched this show every day, usually each episode. IDK why but I felt compelled to watch it over and over, and I also went out and made some honey mustard with some chicken and it was great

[@HybridPhoenix08]

THIS was my introduction into Tim and Eric. Way late to the party, but I've never looked back.

[@tigertoxins584]

Good luck on your fall down the rabbit hole

[@BeeHatGuy]

Oh mama was mine

[@DoomKid]

Late, but just as great

[@benjaminwestney9095]

I just watched Casey and his brother again this morning.

[@croinkix]

I have

[@wileytype1886]

The subtle, yet deliberate splat of the relish was comedy at its finest.

[@mattjenson1917]

“The mustard brings out the relish”

[@123foolers]

went for lettuce but it turned into celery

[@halyomorpha]

that's amazing, thank you

[@123foolers]

+MarmaladeJacket i love u

[@alexthompson9516]

sam martin lol

[@m3rl1on]

celery..man?

[@ImScaroused]

sam martin You obviously didn't use enough Pissmans

[@Ms_eLLE]

I used to think that hanging anything paper on the stove backsplash would be a fire hazard, but seeing Tim's stove and magnets holding paper has given me so much more confidence to follow suit. Thanks Tim!

[@Bhatt_Hole]

Tart!

[@williammanning5066]

To be fair it's not like he ever used it

[@ChrisHansonIsGod]

I love how there's a shot of something cooking in a pan and he never cooks anything

[@holeindanssock156]

I love how relaxed he is like he is creating a masterpiece.

[@TC-be7kx]

He's been there before.

[@jonhorskey4600]

I think the greatest joke is that he has a cooking show that he can cook whatever he wants too and he never chooses anything that actually has mustard in it. Tons of stuff with mustard, never picks any of them. True genius.

[@junghunt8645]

Pretty sure honey mustard has mustard in it

[@anfini0027]

@@junghunt8645 Pretty sure you have no damn idea what you're talking about. You sound nuts!

[@KingCobra2377]

And we're just gonna add a little...big spoonful of relish

[@Pbra90]

And a little bit of Pissman's

[@Perfectix]

when the music cuts out while he's stirring *dead*

[@dabulls1g]

The sound of that sauce glopping around makes me feel sick to my stomach

[@MrBigShot110]

Why?

[@dabulls1g]

+MrBigShot110 it sounds disgusting, something like a diarrhea roux; if you've ever seen such a monstrosity.

[@MouseGuardian]

Lampshades

[@felipeharger]

It is strange, but the liquid flopping around can be related to discusting things. Its a very clever idea to comedy, but irritates a lot some people

[@Auirtozz]

I CANT WATCH! >

[@Not_stoked]

I miss Tim and Eric so much.

[@RATDATSUN]

*"Don't tell them there's mustard in it, they won't even know."* 😁 😉

[@bradb1383]

It's real mayonnaise.

[@marti5420]

Thank gahd

[@oiseaux3000]

It’s free real estate

[@iVenge]

mayonnaise is cum... *retch*

[@Bhatt_Hole]

Not the fake mayo

[@ashleydaumit1134]

@@iVenge t f

[@timanderic]

[@TheClassicalKids]

omg t&e u wanna b my friend this is lyk a dream com tru foreal i am so excite that we are now friendly please respond and we can talk a lot and i can get to know your dads and tell you about all of these hilarious ideas ive been having theyre standup ideas and the crazy thing about it is i think that i will show you these ideas and you will be my friends and my producers this is totally in ur benefit we're still friends truly at heart and initially but honestly im gonna make u so much money u realy have to hit me up if u wanna make the money that i can make u im a hidden gem of talent t&e u gotta believe me and u gotta give me a chance think about it friends $$$

[@TheClassicalKids]

***** if u dont like tentacle porn u dont have the dick

[@markspel]

***** i totally agree with you on that and i also have to say i love that Dont speak in japenese gaming clip. Awesomely funny and amazing too!

[@UnkleBen]

huh?

[@bean7039]

@@TheClassicalKids shut that titty?

[@CooperSnow]

I thought this was actually serious til he started stirring

[@ADT2695]

+Mister Guy. Yeah, man.

[@s3dchr]

You... You thought a fucking Tim Heidecker sketch was serious before anything?..

[@aamanpour3630]

@Mister Guy lmaooooooooooooooooo at devolve into something horrible and/or awkward.

[@PipleZiple]

@@s3dchr maybe hes never heard of tim heidecker?

[@arnbrandy]

I knew it was not serious but Eric was just too good at making it feel real. I was actually unnerved, waiting for the moment things would go south. Indeed, the whole episode could be "serious" and it would be funny only due to the expectations.

[@wretchedslippage3255]

The eyes. Its insane how good this man is

[@TWW-zk9gw]

This is like watching a horror movie where you know the more normal it seems the more horrifying it's going to get.

[@TophatwithTeeth]

You're a really good cook Tim. Great Job.

[@KingOfTheBeyond23]

I am not Russian but I must say that Argentina loves your recipe Tim, I made it for my whole family to enjoy. PS: They didn't notice the mustard. Thanks Pitzman's.

[@Bhatt_Hole]

Don't cry for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Garl_Vinland]

It’s “Piss Man”

[@rogue-like4life]

sPitsmiinz, the s is silent and rare use of double i's

[@xFlRSTx]

i like how the lettuce just magically turned into celery.

[@kidzbop38isstraightfire92]

Good ol' Pitzman's mustard..really brings out the relish

[@TC-be7kx]

And the shots. what did you think of the shots?

[@pditties]

I like how he talks about his Russian dressing with a secret ingredient of mustard and then he cleans up everything before giving someone a taste of it. Only to leave the secret ingredient out in plain view. Tim & Eric you still have it!

[@TC-be7kx]

Well, it's called a bit, much like Eric's bite, you should try it out.

[@Titanium]

tim i have a question I tried to make this russian dressing for a family bruncheon and nobody seemed to like it. It took me 3 whole minutes to make this dressing from scratch and not a single person seemed to appreciate my hard work. i went inside to cut up some more lettuce to see if it would help but by the time i came back outside, someone had knocked my bowl of russian dressing on the ground. I ended up yelling at my wife in front of our families for allowing this travesty to happen, and both of our family left in outrage. i apologized to my wife since then but the whole family thinks i'm crazy now. i was confused because i followed your instructions closely, but then I realized that I made a grave mistake, i neglected to use Pissmans mustard and instead used a generic brand. My question is will using pissmans mustard greatly improve the sauce??? thanks

[@KingCobra2377]

Yes you have to use Pissman's. I tried French's and it was terrible

[@Scrubosaurus]

Sorry to hear about the family situation. If i were you, I'd explain that the lack of Pissmans (™) caused you to get upset. Let them know and it should be alright. Next time, make sure its Pissmans (™)

[@_Ramen-Vac_]

Christ sakes, snakes! It's PITZMAN's. 'pissmans' , garsh.

[@inlivingterror]

MrBubblegumballs Has the tar and the nicotine I crave

[@_Ramen-Vac_]

GOOD NEWS! Cig-a-rette JUICE!! [lights another cigarette too]

[@MrKajithecat]

What the hell, I tried this recipe and now my wife divorced me. Thanks Tim.

[@judymcfricklesteinbregferg3750]

0/10

[@Axeraid]

Probably needed more Pissman's.

[@dante224real1]

+MrKajithecat you should learn to use more pitzmans. thats the key.

[@dylaninpieces2]

+MrKajithecat Just find your second girlfriend and marry her.

[@formerpornoaddict2587]

+Daniel Williams fuck your Piss Mustard!

[@RockTheClock247]

Eric's head shake when Tim asks if he wants more after the screen blurs is absolutely hilarious.

[@TheGrowlingAraknid]

I love Tim's face when Eric tells him they need him back 😂😂😂😍

[@brandonmorel2658]

These are so simple yet so effective, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are the kings of anti comedy, specially Heidecker with his On Cinema web series and his stand up. The fact that he manages to turn the death of a baby and a Russian Dressing recipe into something humorous must be a sign that he is doing something right.

[@katouchadamuse]

the stirring

[@arthurfranzen9629]

Elmo

[@DEVVINGIORGIO]

wwg1 wga devvin.tv devvin giorgio utueb

[@onox4740]

I was with my pals a few weeks back all lazing around the living room on a sunday the day after a big night out. We had youtube on the tv, I got passed the remote, so I put this on with only saying "its a cooking show." Legend says their still loosing their shit laughing to this day.

[@Will140f]

This is such a time bomb. Like this sketch is funny, the next one is even funnier, and by the last one I was having trouble breathing properly.

[@ointment7876]

I love how the ad on this video was the purple boys

[@sunna8476]

I LOVE TIM AND ERIC SO MUCH ❤️ I feel like so many people are missing out because they don't get it, while I'm literally in tears everytime I watch them 😂

[@Widgeonwatcher]

Nah. It’s just not funny. It couldn’t be any less funny in fact. If 50 people and you have problems, it’s not those folks it’s you.

[@TC-be7kx]

I have very much apathy watching Tim and Eric, because I could never do what they do. It is like a curse is hanging over my bulgarian head. please come to Moscow to teach us Tim and Eric.

[@alleiahmarcott4719]

"Tastes like a runny ketchup sauce with a lot of mustard."

[@arscheerio]

5:00 the iceberg lettuce turned into a celery stick

[@NicholasSmith87]

On top of that... it wasn't iceberg... it was romaine at the beginning of the video..

[@TekkFrog]

This was my first exposure to Tim and Eric. At the time I was like "wtf there's nothing funny here" but now I can't get enough.

[@DougMacRay]

I was holding it in- I could see where it was going but “Okay, we’ll clean up here” (dumps spilled dressing back into the dressing.) That’s the one that got me. Full belly roll. This is absolute comedic genius here. Stay Strong Tim, Boston

[@brandonhaygood5286]

5:00 I just realized Eric grabbed a piece of lettuce and then the next shot he put a piece of celery in his mouth lol

[@DimmuRaichu]

I thought it was really gonna be a serious cooking show for a second, then it turned into comedy gold.

[@dirtycookin3062]

Love the way this man cooks

[@RisingTheClan]

If I was a billionaire I would pay Tim and Eric a million dollars for every single thing they film. It's all gold.

[@blakeesmith84]

The King Then they could make a billion dollar movie.

[@scottydu81]

blakeesmith84 everybody needs a billion!

[@ADT2695]

+The King. *”...shoot.”

[@Pureblood1776]

Taquito!

[@charlessilvis319]

So funny. I laughed so hard at this. Tim has got to be the most comical name ever! Say it out loud, Tim. How can you not laugh at that!?

[@thebigboofer3826]

Guess I have to sit through all of them now that I’ve started this adventure again

[@wakeinthecity9]

erics palette probably isnt developed enough to appreciate your food. keep up the cooking im sure its wonderful, tim.

[@sethrogan98]

"Oh man, what is that spiciness I taste in it" "It's free real estate"

[@nayr497]

Beautiful mockery of cooking channels and their shows! I friggin' LOVE the happy guitar jangle.

[@leopoldmolitch4040]

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole life

[@natg3361]

Tim is a master in the kitchen, it's a true joy and a gift to see a window into his knowledge and technique

[@desmondwilson6118]

Him: Don't tell 'em there's mustard in there you can't event taste it me: Dies of mustard allergy

[@whipid]

I love their humor. It's indescribable.

[@younggucci4934]

The conversation during the outro song is hilarious xD

[@BlastinRope]

The pissmans is a good touch, my grandma taught me that tip. If your making a sauce add a touch of pissmans is really brings the flavor out.

[@Valspartame_Maelstrom]

now eric has a cookbook! so, it ooks like he learned a lot from tim here!

[@notmychannelname42]

You're not supposed to tell Eric about the mustard Tim!!!

[@acathosh]

I love how it seems like a normal cooking show until about 1/3 into the video, glorious anti comedy :D

[@judymcfricklesteinbregferg3750]

"anti comedy" lol. it's just regular ass satire

[@kariyam2202]

+Judy McFricklesteinbregfergerski no one cares, no one's listening.

[@judymcfricklesteinbregferg3750]

lol, there's no need to be upset young lady

[@kariyam2202]

+Judy McFricklesteinbregfergerski you don't get it :(

[@judymcfricklesteinbregferg3750]

Kariya M why would you just repeat my comment? that's incredibly lazy, lmao

[@zazabroom]

Ok but I lost it when he started stirring 😂😂😂 “lost a little bit here”

[@bluepandaman]

Can’t believe this was 10 years ago. I remember when it was uploaded.

[@Allplussomeminus]

And I stay coming back to it.

[@predator47]

I always add a little bit of mustard whenever I make Russian dressing now! Thanks for the tip, Tim 😋

[@ballinbalgruuf8198]

Props for Tyler Johnson-Williams for being the best boy for this awesome show! 5:57

[@Nullllus]

The only thing I cook is Totino's Pizza Rolls.

[@kettlebears]

+Nullll1111 Everybody's talking 'bout Totinos!

[@ryanflippinharris]

+Chatty Patty not funny

[@dabulls1g]

Hey you know what goes great with totinos? A great DIP, I'd say about a quarter gallon of pissmans should get the job done, if you're not a fan of the spice add a couple cups of water and it should even things out nicely!

[@tokowpc]

+Nullll1111 taquitos are pretty good also

[@toastedghost8971]

+Nullll1111 I'm living the Totino's lifestyle, I'll admit it

[@wesmac3349]

"I'm not really familiar with mustard in my Russian"

[@steelbosgrove8446]

The funniest thing ever said 😋😋😋

[@GrubbsandWyrm]

I love this series so much. I've watched it a couple of times, and today I was having salad with Russian dressing and came back for nostalgia :)

[@FRISKY_MANDINGO]

No matter how many times I watch this series, I still find myself back to episode 1 every now and then. Here it goes again.

[@Preserbius]

Detail I just noticed: at 4:55 Eric dips a piece of iceberg lettuce, then bites into a stalk of celery.

[@garrettbridges7866]

4:58 the lettuce turns into celery lmao

[@TheVeriOra]

That lettuce turned into celery by the time it reaches Eric's mouth

[@MikeTheD]

When I feel like I'm in a creative rut with my cuisine, I rewatch this. Tim could be a world-class chef if properly trained, he has preternatural cooking instincts

[@SneaksBL]

When he started to scoop everything back in with his hands LMFAO

[@FightCommentary]

HAHAHAHA. Oh man. I finally get Tim and Eric comedy now! I had to look up some online explanations, but I get it now.

[@NickRamone0]

Great Job!

[@jeff3229]

Smart guy

[@adrianmtz8947]

Fun Fact: Tim's actual name is Q, but he changed it in order to be a part of the comedic duo Tim and Eric

[@poolsofbloodinyourstomach]

Has he

[@stustudios7696]

Come on Q!!

[@JohnnyRico118]

I was really drunk one night and making mac n cheese and I thought of this show and decided to add (just a dash) of mustard to my mac n cheese. It just tasted like mustard and wasn't terrible but I don't necessarily recommend it.

[@playerone8047]

11 years, Tim. What a ride it’s been.. I remember like it was just yesterday, you pleading with me not to release the pressure lock on or submersible-good times!

[@Ojdaweedmane]

Can't believe this came out in 2013 the time has flown by

[@Soviet19171]

Great Job!

[@zutang950]

Once again, I'm just here for the mustard noises.

[@sjab5987]

Thank you KZbin for randomly recommending this, needed me some Tim & Eric today.

[@DeusLuxMeaEst]

The Chef should have referenced Montreal Smoked Meat. This must be an American show? The Chef has good technique and it is great that he references specific brands of ingredients. Just too bad that we can’t taste the sauce through the TV! Will definitely be trying this recipe for next dinner with in-laws.

[@chekaschmeka4283]

If my mustard isn't pissmans, it is s***.

[@HubbaBubba768]

For awhile there I was wondering if it was gonna get weird...this is gonna get weird right? ahhh yeah there ya go.

[@aamanpour3630]

"a little... about a bigggg spoonful of the relish". great measurements he gives lol

[@henryfrance2398]

I love that Eric grabs a piece of iceburg lettuce which turns into a stalk of celery when he bites

[@carfish]

I like how Tim feels the need to assure us he buys his mayonnaise from the store and that it is, indeed, real mayonnaise.

[@Football__Junkie]

Why does a guy spilling condiments all over a counter top make me laugh so much?