Can I Kiss You?" Vs. Going For It - Does Asking Ruin the Vibe? | Dudes Behind the Foods Ep. 128

[@joelbc1]

0:00 - Draft Kings Casino Ad 1:11 - Intro - Sleep & Lottery 4:13 - That Mexican OT & Food - Carnitas Don Cuco Burritos 8:08 - Adam Perry Lang - BBQ 12:20 - Drinks - Mezcal - Parents Are Wild 16:28 - Parenting & Kids 18:47 - Draft Kings Casino Ad 19:55 - KIds Getting Smart 21:03 - First Kiss & Girlfriend 24:53 - Growing Up, Setting Boundaries & Making the First Move 34:09 - Dudes Are Always Trying to Start Something 37:15 - “Can I Kiss You?” Vs. Going For It - Does Asking Ruin the Vibe? 43:27 - NYC Girls are Different 47:49 - Marriage & Wives 50:00 - Dating & Asking vs. Not Asking cont. 53:53 - Spoken Word - Outro

[@ariellelawson1873]

Shoutout Robin Couch for saying exactly what I was thinking. Yes we should be teaching women to voice their feelings but men should also be taught to ask!

[@Timothy]

Definitely!

[@natrianloks]

I was just about to write this also. Another shout out for Robin!!! 🫶🏽

[@ashdominic5179]

David came off argumentative with Robin. Shoutout Tim for handling that well

[@Bee-xq8gd]

for me, delivery matters. like “👉👈 can i kiss you?” 🥺” seems sooo lame. but if we’re flirting and vibing, “i wanna kiss you,” while moving in slowly gives me a chance to consider declining or going for it. it also gives me the opportunity to see how they react to the word “no.” this will tell you a lot about any person.

[@VieraXXII]

Yeeeeesss!!!🎉 Thank you. David makes it sound lame. Consent is sexy.

[@1surftheblue]

Good job Tim on diffusing the situation and mediating lol. 🎉

[@llama_99]

Lmao fr, she was getting more amped up. David was a little late reading the room

[@VieraXXII]

​@@llama_99was she getting amped up?

[@Thegangsta00711]

@@VieraXXIIshe was not agreeing with David at all.

[@pillowtyme3376]

100% agree with Robyn. There is internalized sexism and power dynamic that exists in interactions between men and women. Some men may feel entitled to women's bodies and the woman may feel unsafe to assert her boundaries. Men should always ask for consent.

[@ellessz]

Tim: Nahhmmsayinnnn David: whatever what not 😂😂😂😂

[@Sora2314]

Thank you Tim and David for speaking out on y’all’s past experiences, especially when it comes to boundaries. Not an easy topic to discuss, but it even helped me reflect more on my own past and reevaluate the ways in which I’ve interacted with others. Just proves that self-growth is happening in us, more than anything.

[@ep1434]

Them talking about consent got pretty awkward ngl lol, but it really shows Tims level of social intelligence cause he handled that perfectly lol

[@Thegangsta00711]

Dude he did great with that

[@baowow_]

The damn screech from David trying to do the grito had me busting out laughing 🤣🤣🤣

[@kazuguy]

I had both asking/not asking work well with me, it just really depends on the person and reading their body language. With my previous partner, I didn't ask to go for a kiss. It just happened and it was great. But with my current girlfriend, I can tell she was more of a nervous type, hasn't dated in years, but I can tell she liked me. So I politely asked and she happily accepted. Afterwards she expressed how happy she was that I asked.

[@cozy.corina]

For me personally i always appreciate when men can just read the situation and go for it. Now granted I’m a very expressive person so if im interested in someone (or not) he will know right away

[@LotsOfLove4Music]

6:08 nobody said anything yet but tim your falsetto sounded crazy 🔥

[@wendyflores9399]

As someone in their mid 30’s that’s been SA’d I prefer to be asked before being kissed or touched. No one knows the other person’s experiences so asking is never harmful.

[@IzzyChargedUp]

Always ask… you don’t want to wake up to being exposed 😂😂😂

[@cchangandco]

I can see how a guy asking can be a turn off, but I wouldn’t write someone off because of it. It shows he is considerate. I personally think it’s more energetic in HOW he asks. If it’s confident and “just making sure,” cool. If I can sense lack of confidence, that is what can come off not attractive.

[@Anjellicatz]

Hands down, asking consent from both sides is the only right answer regardless of the situation!!

[@chantayk]

It's the safest move, but it can be a turn off. Honestly.

[@joelester9541]

Ya don't wake me to ask to tickle the pickle just do it 😅

[@luisz3354]

Honestly… that wouldn’t work. Just go for it and then both be mature to talk about it

[@wejsmith5446]

@@luisz3354thats how you get got!

[@Mkthomas-q6l]

I was listening on apple podcasts and I needed to come to youtube to check the comments bc what I was hearing from David wasn't cutting it… thank you Robin for speaking for us ladies. Thank you Tim for being so mature.

[@xxpancakexx6]

I never had a preference when I was single. I liked when guys felt out the situation but I also appreciated when guys asked. I rarely came across someone who didn't like when I set boundaries. I feel lucky in that sense and am honestly so happy I don't have to worry about dating in the current times.

[@JoshBou]

As an American that happens to be Mexican I recently got the notifications that the mini Tim and David plushes are funded and I'm SO HYPED!

[@alexagarza3800]

Bout to start taking shots whenever David says "whatever what not"

[@shapnam2]

from a 22 yr old female i personally think that asking is always the way to go and if someone gets turned off from that then that’s a red flag and just shows they don’t like communication 🤷‍♀️

[@VieraXXII]

Exactly❤

[@DamnAwesome]

Man your middle school stories are crazy af, ig it really is different between the generations!

[@alelihariana8697]

Asking before any initial intimate moment is ideal. After that, I think it’s the reassurance and communicating “let me know what you like or don’t like” and go on from there!

[@ChristianDiorCouture]

Yeah, I thought about both perspectives of how I should go about the possible first kiss. I chose to do like a happy medium; I spit some version of "I really wanna kiss ya right now.." and I have always gotten a verbal or physical response. I think declaring your intention is "sexy" enough for the ones who don't want to be asked. It be tricky in these times.

[@chantayk]

That makes sense.

[@chantayk]

I get both sides. It can be awkward for him to hesitate, but even more awkward for him to just go in, and you're not feeling him. But I'm 43, I hate having to make the first move. So I need him to read my vibe and kiss the girl! Lol

[@pillowtyme3376]

I've had experiences where a guy has tried to kiss me when I had NO interest in doing that and it was weird and uncomfortable.... so I 100% prefer men to ask. Some people assume you want something when you literally dont. You could be giving them clear signs of discomfort and some people will ignore it.

[@jennyortega2977]

I am 30, and personally I would prefer them to ask, cause there are situations where I am vibing with the person but I still want to feel them out so asking would be better then him going for it then having to tell him to back off and then it just gets awkward

[@omghi95]

My advice is always to give room for a yes or no, especially the first time. Whether it be asking or saying "Damn, I wanna kiss you" or some variation for women that like the more assertive approach. Like yes, in certain situations, it's obvious lol like sitting on someone's lap and flirting on VALENTINES DAY . After the first time, you generally don't have to ask to kiss again.

[@Naynalove7]

As a Mexican- I love David 🤝🏼🫶🏼

[@fruitloopsgarcia]

Thank god Robin said something because I was bothered by the comments. It's always put on the women to say something because men don't think critically about anything that can make a woman uncomfortable.

[@Kamui916]

But David's friends said don't ask so are you disregarding their view as well. They were women also?

[@kaiblu3]

⁠@@Kamui916 his friends are as he said in his own podcast “ghetto”. That may be why they thinks it’s dumb to ask. It’s cultural, age etc.

[@Kamui916]

@@kaiblu3 Lol fr. That's what I'm saying but I'm looking around the comments and people are just completely disregarding any of those contexts and shaming David when it was his "girl" friends who said they wanted that from guys but no one is mentioning any of it 😅🤷‍♂️

[@bellaangel4422]

As a woman I have seen this go both ways. I have more guy friends than girls and guys tell me some wild stories. 🤨

[@EdwardSanchezProductions]

I can’t wait to receive my lil Tim plushie in the mail

[@BALLSOHARDU]

So you can jerk chicken it all night loooonnnn

[@-amosc.presley-7192]

Thank goodness for y’all 2 both videos on Channel

[@bethnichols2875]

Tim and David, you are looking well. And the plushies look awesome.

[@sumahibaby3910]

Fr! I went to dinner with my work friends and the waitress said “you ok?, workin so hard you look a lil tired.” We all worked the same shift!! I was like this chick just called me ugly!! Lol

[@stuntbounce]

(Because of 6:00) Tim needs to make mexican songs haha i would listen hahahah

[@mazingcyn1]

I can see both sides, I definitely find it more appealing when a man states matter of factly what they want. Cause it shows confidence and respect for a person as they are not hiding their intentions from you. But I also get Robyn’s point of view as well and I am happy she chimed in. You never know what someone has gone through so I guess for men it’s just being understanding of that and for women it’s being sure you have your boundaries. Understanding and respect are key to anything.

[@ninipz]

54:59 I would want for a guy to feel out the situation and go for the kiss if the vibe is right 😊 but he can’t be wrong bc if I’m not feeling it DONT TOUCH ME 🙅🏼‍♀️😤

[@nahex2]

David gets hella defensive when someone has a diff take

[@Waanton-]

10/10 episode, will be tuning in

[@tommy.ayefam]

When I used to go on dates with ladies, I’m polite and would always ask for a kiss at the end of our date.

[@Mr-KGee]

I'd pay money to hear David say "LGI Baby Let's Get It Let's Go!" one more time...

[@dedegreen13]

It’s Rihanna & Bryson Tiller 😂😂😂😂

[@Samuel-srt]

Came from the podcast on itunes it just cut off lol well ill listen here

[@lu__shui]

Consent is always sexy! Even if I’m giving obvious signals/body language, asking is always appreciated. It just shows that the man is not acting out of entitlement to my body. And it also shows me that they’re not making assumptions on what anyone’s boundaries are. It’s hot to me that a man would want to make sure the woman they’re with is comfortable because you also never know what someone’s history may be with sexual experiences. I think that the women who think it’s weak or gay to ask for consent got some internal issues they need to work out tbh… It’s giving the toxic female nice guys finish last mentality. Like why is it such a turn off for you for a man to be considerate and compassionate? But also for men, why would you want to be with someone who is turned off by clear, kind communication? Sounds like a red flag to me lol Like sure it’s not necessary for every situation, but making sure others are comfortable in any given situation is a positive thing in my book. Like aside from being PC or paranoid about SA like just being a kind decent human being. To me, asking for consent shows that you are a kind decent human being. Thank you guys, I appreciate this space for discussion and really got me thinking on why consent is important and why it’s still such a debated topic.

[@BlackMatrix-pl4fe]

The easiest answer for a guy that wants to be with someone who is turned off by clear, kind communication is that he wants to be with her cuz she's hot and he wants to get it in. Simple as that.

[@Maddie101100]

I played Nervous with my friend in high school. I found out he was gay then because he got to the knee and goes "ew no I can't do it" hahaha

[@DollyPudempraise]

I agree that not asking is more romantic but I also 100% agree with robin that I don't trust the men that I've interacted wuth to vibe check correctly, I think its more of an experience thing than a age thing bc I have also been assaulted and if I had to pick would perfer to be asked

[@wcthao]

Hi Tim! Are you gonna be at Saibaidee Fest the whole weekend or only Friday? Would be awesome for a When Foodie Calls episode too!

[@SunflowerClovers]

I'm in my 30's and if it was in-between initiative or being asked, I would want to be asked, especially if it's the first intimate touch. Of course, for some people, it can seem like a turn down but there IS an art to asking. There are so many ways to ask and make it sexy or cute. But after the first consensual touch, I don't mind initiative. 😆

[@jasonpowell1762]

Great discussions on this episode 👏

[@Superstuffed]

I tried "For the Win" after seeing your guys' reaction. And the burgers were awight, good but not GREAT and don't need to eat there again. I went in starving and not having too high of expectations.

[@Timothy]

mannnnn that shit ALWAYS hits HARDDDD for me!

[@sumahibaby3910]

Going in straight up has never my go to. Like Tim eludes to…there are ways around asking for permission right out. Shit like “what would you do if I kissed you right now?” Or “damn your lips are so kissable” and then her response helps to decide “come and find out!” Or “are they? Try ‘em!” Girls I’ve canoodled with and friends my age HATE guys asking for a kiss. Just my two cents.

[@vibecerra1234]

I'M MEXICAN. I ACCEPT DAVID!

[@vibecerra1234]

I WILL TEACH DAVID HOW TO DO THE GRITO!!! 😂❤

[@RrrRrrRo736]

depends but for damn sure love it when a guy makes an executive decision to make the first move.

[@thatfoojason12]

i love adam i went to his steakhouse when it was still open and damn that was good and then when he started doing bbq at the restaurant i got a lil taste but i haven’t been back to LA to try his pop ups ☹️ but he does reply when i repost his stories and man did he give me pointers cause im a chef as well adam is a solid guy super humble

[@asternoon16]

53:54 fav part 😂

[@0ax.333]

Y’all need to go to Houston, TX and try Trill Burgers 😁

[@Timothy]

We had Trill burgers on the When Foodie Calls at Complex Con! Like two months ago! You slackin!!!

[@0ax.333]

@@Timothy 😭 I am slacking! I’m watching that video now!! Lol

[@myworl15]

Ok fuck it, is it me or is David tryna sink this ship!? Stay safe Tim

[@Thegangsta00711]

You don’t wanna argue the consent thing if you’re not sure about the vibes. It’s not a generational thing either. It’s always good to know before you test your boundaries by crossing the line first. Good job Tim for handling the situation!

[@tonynacion]

11:31 AYO MEAT

[@ms.ashsan]

I don’t mind both :) if we’re flirting/dating I don’t mind if the guy takes initiative but I think it’s sweet if he asks. When my boyfriend and I met, he didn’t initiate anything. I had to be the one to initiate making out in the back of his car 😅😂 and now we’ve been together for 6 years ❤

[@nismodragon]

Whoa. David So went to CRC? I lived in the area in my early teens. Always thought it was a weird name, Cosumnes.

[@KalihiKlassic]

My first time ever hearing of a cuddle buddy

[@Davidpark1010]

I'm a dude and im buying a Tim plushie today because it's cuter, no diddy

[@juliethelam]

I think asking is the best way to go about kissing someone! if it's a no from the girl, the worst that can happen is that the guy gets his ego shot down, no harm done. but if it's a no from the girl WITHOUT asking, a lot worse can happen lol. but- if a guy is willing to go based off context clues, I dont think that's a problem either, it just really depends on the guy, his ability to read the room properly, and his confidence

[@trainingwithcj]

MAGHAHAHAH roasted David’s ass with the personal trainer lmaooo

[@21brchang]

But what if you’re not off between 7am-3 pm 😂. Most ppl have to go into an office or work during that time.

[@PrincessA-eu5xy]

We accept you David ❤ Cheers to Mexican 🍻 🥂

[@bryannalavon]

Read the situation and go for it! 😝if we feeling each other we will both know

[@Inebriator13]

Yes, we would def subscribe 😂

[@emilianofarias12]

As a Mexican I give David consent to attend the carne asada 🇲🇽

[@iluvDDR]

My now bf of almost 3 years and dating later in life, asked if he could kiss me on our first date. I thought he was fine af and was definitely glad he was feeling the same way as me, but honestly really appreciated that he asked because it spoke volumes about his character. I've also been on dates where guys leaned in expecting a kiss or wanting when things were clearly not going in thst direction. By saying things like, "I ain't no bitch" shows like insecurity issues and old school mindsets that this new generation is trying to change. If you're unsure, just ask.

[@melissaortiz2109]

Lol david and tim just be flexing that thair both married

[@Itsalljee]

Go for the kiss!

[@kayliechadwick7326]

First date with hubs: “can I have a hug” - me after “that was lame” - couple days later I thought it was cute. First kiss with hubs, he didn’t ask, it was accepted and reciprocated. 7 years later I’m commenting this.. now.. if my husband asked it would for sure end with him being roasted lol

[@dreamyreemee]

Not sure if this happened to anyone else but the Spotify version of this episode cut off after 25 mins for me, so I came here to finish it

[@M3NTALiZ]

Those burritos looked fkn bomb!!! 🌯😋 Tim your grito was pretty pretty pretty good lol David def gotta practice some more sounded like he just got injured lol And I would rather the guy ask...I'd hate for things to get awkward if I wasn't feeling it and he just went for it.

[@Segagenn]

Get a feeling but if you’re really not sure, ask!

[@berserk____1878]

Bruh in this era, just always ask 100 times. However, I agree with David that the "you should just know" is kinda ridiculous in reality because some people just don't have the experience/education to be so aware. And it seems, post-MeToo, it's always down to the guy to be checking in on the girl. Women should be more vocal and clear about boundaries. But Im glad Robin is there to say that guys should always ask, regardless. It's 50/50.

[@leenaravenwood]

I prefer a guy feeling out the situation and body language. Had a couple guys ask permission and 1st time i thought it was cute, but then it was a quick big turn off. I like a man who "takes charge" a bit. Hard to explain but it is a turn on for a man to just kiss based on vibes. More passion

[@Sensitivecoat]

Why is Tim imitating Bretman at 6:15

[@candacegrant5]

I'd like them to ask but when people say can I kiss you, it can give off as kinda lame, like the way they will say it is lame. If they have a deep voice and make it sexy, then, I'll probably allow it but if you sound like a nerd or desperate then no. Another way to ask and make it sexy is by saying "would you like me to kiss you?" And before you go on that date or hang out, you can set boundaries and ask for boundaries, ask what they like and don't like so there wouldn't be any confusion.

[@anthonyknotts]

Mann I’m so glad I’m married and out the streets cause ain’t nobody got time!

[@asternoon16]

When are you guys gonna decorate the poscast

[@meraribonilla9561]

They can't cause it's not theirs

[@Oolalaniday]

I’m in my 30s. Consent on both sides is always the right answer.

[@VangKevinCatfish]

Imma win the lottery in MAY.

[@bbyskittles91]

I'm on the fence about asking about asking for permission first. It can be a nice gesture...well it is...but it can also be a turnoff. It depends on how the guy does it and the situation. Like if we're already flirting and I'm clearly into you just go with the flow, but If I move your hand or try to stop a move, then stop.

[@chrisgb56]

During our early stages of my relationship with my future wife, I asked her if I could kiss her and she tells me "huh? What the hell?" Now we've been together 8 years and married 5 years 😅

[@lifestream1689]

Feels like we can all agree to ask (with tact) if its your 1st date or something similar to that. Guys can be pretty poor at reading body cues, sure. But writing them off as situationally/emotionally inept if they can't read every woman's intent or lack of seems kinda jacked up. Not every woman is expressive or the same. And 100% relying on your situational awareness to land brownie points with an impromtu kiss sounds like horrible practice

[@Xeqcme]

I once had a first date that went really well and I drove her home- THEN, just before she was about to leave (she didn't want me to walk her to the door), she asked me if she could kiss me. SHE asked ME...we were already moving closer but before the kiss, she asked.

[@Kamui916]

Everone keeps disregarding the fact that David's friends said to no ask while Robin said the guys should. Is no one really gonna put any of David's people's perspective on the whole thing on table as well by just ignoring it?

[@elexysbullock-allen3555]

I don’t particularly mind too much, but I’m more selective with my dates. I think getting consent or talking about it prior to meeting up is the best bet for everyone though

[@natrianloks]

I believe it’s respectful to ask

[@kidreplay1]

U mean to say the bang bus is fake!?! 👁️👄👁️

[@codylee6574]

I remember my boyfriend asking if he could kiss me on our first date. I think a guy asking is being a gentleman.

[@dyannacarrillo7168]

I think they need to feel it out first, if I’m giving the same energy back then he should go for it. I don’t mind being asked but I do agree sometimes it ruins the mood for me.

[@BelanceM]

Asking is only attractive when you're younger. The older I get, just READ THE ROOM. I also just let you know frfr

[@fruitloopsgarcia]

I always prefer a guy asks first, there's ways you can ask without being lame about it. If you can ask for a kiss in a way that doesn't come off like a lame, then you're good.

[@Smollpenny]

Wasn’t too happy with David’s response of “Women don’t like when men ask for permission “ and double down with “it’s you vs 10 women” when robyn confronted that thought. I feel like David needs to acknowledge other people’s views more, sometimes he so stuck up with being right and not wrong that he just says some pretty messed up statements.

[@meraribonilla9561]

He was only talking about a story about his girlfriends and how that's how they roll. if u have an issue with how his friends roll, that's fine. That's not anyone's issue, but urs. and if ur going to be mad at the situation that David was speaking of. Don't be mad at him. Be mad at the girls, not. David was just saying a story. Ya'll don't understand anything. Go touch grass

[@Smollpenny]

@@meraribonilla9561how do you even know if it’s true? Were going based on his behavior with the situation. You don’t really understand much huh

[@zItIsMyLifez]

Something wrong with the editing of this episode on Spotify. I didn't hear the part where Adam Perry Lang didn't recognize Tim