To Win You Must Lose: How to Argue Better | Dave Sumner | TEDxMcMinnville

What does the 2,000-year-old tradition of rhetoric teach us about how to argue better today? Dr. David Sumner examines these ancient principles and applies them to one of our biggest argument minefields - the Thanksgiving dinner table. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@laurabedorelerwill3235]

What an excellent perspective! To argue to win is such a limited way to have a conversation...just this concept alone has opened my eyes to my own thought process and helped me open up to the possibility of learning and growing more from being "wrong" than having to be "right"! Bravo, Mr. Sumner!

[@Tito-wg8lg]

We are the only comments on this video

[@kristinwornum7126]

You said it all my friend , took the words right out of my mine

[@blammin9217]

best most emotionally intelligent neutral way for people to discuss ideas. this is the format. dude nailed it.

[@wonderfulqualitycontent3354]

Incredibly interesting, expected to see more comments here! This video really reframed how I think of arguments

[@DairangerSentai7]

Hey there! 11 months later, how much has this changed the transcript of your conversations? Have they improved?

[@solar0wind]

@@DairangerSentai7 Interesting question! I'd like to know that too!

[@rando4390]

How can this ted talk get inly 3000 views after 8 months?

[@coralschlag7959]

this was the highlight of my day

[@pjsmalena]

WOW!!! I will now view others as mistaken instead of vicious. This really changes things up!

[@DairangerSentai7]

2:58: what if you listened to what they said in order to learn? 9:00: how do we look at each other? Think about the relation you have with those people.

[@huijessica]

this is so good

[@ketusolapure143]

To Win You Must Lose-this statement is so true !!!

[@mmendi1114]

great tips...

[@KolaIL]

Great talk

[@mariedzi4335]

That's really helpful. Thanks!

[@PhilGeissler]

For a second there I thought it was TEDxMcMinnville, Tennessee - where I live.

[@baptisedbaby6164]

so basically this guy is a professional arguer.

[@taihavard549]

A little different, but in a sense. A professional arguer / debater is often thought of more as someone who does professional debates with a goal of having the appearance of having "won" regardless of whether they are actually correct, possibly not actually believe what they are saying, aim to use all tactics they can even if they know those tactics have nothing to do with truth or actively try to mislead and possibly attempt to humiliate the person they are arguing with if possible. A lot of style over substance, bad faith arguments etc. What this person is talking about is more about Socratic method, techniques for effective collaborative pursuit of truth, viewing being accurate as more important than feeling / appearing right, scout mindset, intellectual honesty, focus on learning, persuading but being willing to be persuaded, logic / fallacies, cognitive bias, psychology, epistemology, metacognition / introspection and so on. So I think "professional arguer" could be used as a label but many people would confuse the concepts and methods in this video with the combative university style "win at all costs" / "Person X DESTROYS person Y" titled videos of debate on youtube.

[@donniel1403]

"Its really easy to be offended, but its really hard to be effective."

[@Uubermensch]

Do schools teach this? Highschools or middle schools in particular. Other than elective classes, because the majority doesn't seem to like anything that isn't obviously exciting. I think if this was taught at a mass scale, people would buy less things.

[@Uubermensch]

Because they would have to think before making decisions

[@gibranguzman5713]

@@Uubermensch Yeah they teach this. I'm doing an assignment for it now.

[@sarahd1844]

I’m here rn because I have an assignment for this in highschool

[@HomeBakedBread]

It is taught to a degree but not widely enough. This is a big part of why America is so divided right now.

[@crouton7070]

reminds me of jreg and his videos about frameworks and meta frameworks but less schizophrenic

[@Xizania]

11:54

[@knops1]

WHAT only 12 comments

[@Tito-wg8lg]

Hi am I the only comment on this video

[@rando4390]

Not anymore

[@WJFK480]

What if all the metaphors we have for war come from arguing? If you look at it from a chicken and egg perspective arguing would have most definitely come first.

[@carlingram8316]

I imagine violence came before spoken language. But as I learned here, I could definitely be wrong 😄

[@jomaanali8116]

What I have learned from the video is to like👍 the both comments 👆

[@solomonbalogun6545]

Argument to learn not argument to win

[@TheoCynical]

If you want to hold onto your life, you will lose it for my sake, you will gain it to eternal life. - Jesus the Christ

[@shrekthing5981]

donnell outlaw wat

[@DairangerSentai7]

Metaphors matter. Why do you think there's so many warrior descriptions for God? Was it because the Israelites were at war and they just used what was around them or for some other reason?

[@datingfighter314]

He fails to see that people don't want to think about what they can learn and they just want to win.

[@Daniel-uz6fc]

Which is what he's talking about, How did he fail to see it when he mentioned it. What he's trying to do is change peoples minds to have constructive arguments.

[@Ambientes]

Because by assuming that people will want to give up winning is foolish

[@aeraannoying]

@@Ambientes is there anything wrong with trying to give a different perspective? The fact u think some people aren't capable of listening is foolish

[@carlingram8316]

@@Ambientes if they are watching a video titled "how to argue better", hopefully they are willing to change to be more effective.

[@scar_c2_1d]

@@carlingram8316 i believe he's talking about ppl that didnt watch this vid

[@nobonespurs]

and you have not provided ONE concrete example

[@RaulRodriguez-pi6hi]

A QA

[@nobonespurs]

RBG did not get others to agree with her

[@TheSharp2500]

anyone else not interested in this at all and only watching it because it was assigned by a teacher?

[@kol628]

Oddly enough I looked this up. This guy needs be my voice coach by the way.

[@j.d.arvizo1492]

I’m watching for education...sorry you’re just trying to pass a class...

[@TheSharp2500]

@@j.d.arvizo1492 oh thanks for your apologies and good luck on your education ;)

[@last7993]

Lmfaoo

[@MachineElf_Official]

I'm watching this because I looked it up, because I want to argue better. Arguing is fun, I like it, and I don't want to make people mad when I'm not trying to

[@alriashi7]

During his speech I had the urge to disagree with him :))

[@musamusa990]

Why American so obsessed with politics?

[@Soni-jd4li]

Don’t generalise a majority of people to all indulge themselves in the same thing, it’s the epitome of absurdity

[@notvora]

a whole bunch of talking, a whole bunch of getting nowhere

[@MrZeaos]

booooring

[@make_the_world_better_place]

Really not interesting 🤔