Top 10 Funniest Batman Lines In Movies And TV

For such a dark and brooding vigilante, the Caped Crusader sure knows how to make us laugh! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Dark Knight’s funniest lines across all of his on-screen appearances. Our countdown includes “So That's What That Feels Like” from “The Dark Knight Rises”, “This Is Why Superman Works Alone” from “Batman & Robin”, “I Only Work in Black. And Sometimes Very, Very Dark Grey” from “The Lego Movie”, “I Made Him Make It” from “Harley Quinn”, and more! Which Batman line made you grin from ear to ear? Tell us in the comments!
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#funny #movies #tv #batman #superhero #dccomics #justiceleague #harleyquinn #legomovie #darkknight

[@WatchMojo]

Which Batman line made you grin from ear to ear? Tell us in the comments! For more content like this, click here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYLXgpedlJd1jdk Don't forget to play our Live Trivia (www.watchmojo.com/play) games at 3pm EST for a chance to win cash! The faster you answer, the more points you get!

[@marcusyates3044]

Adam West: "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb" Top 10 Greatest Batman Anti-Heroes Ever!

[@Henry.James88]

👍

[@Reaperguy67]

​@@Henry.James88 quit spamming

[@hunterrousseau3770]

Top 30 Best DC Couples / Top 30 Best DC Friendships

[@anthonythomas305]

Top 20 Strongest Bladers from each series (Original, Metal, Burst, and X)

[@davidmitchell005]

I quite liked the line from the animated Batman/Superman movie “World’s Finest”. After the flying wing blows up with Joker on board, and Batman and Harley are parachuting to safety, she says her pet name for Joker, “Pudding!”, to which Batman replies, “At this point, he probably is.”

[@CandiceVidito]

I'm a rich kid with issues. That line is hilarious! 🤣😂

[@vincentmazzone4530]

“Lots of issues.”

[@E-Man1313]

I have always said Batman reminded me of a rich emo kid.

[@michaelmonthey5974]

The third reason he doesn’t want to date is a lot more serious.

[@florentiusraditiosulisetyo4170]

Ironically, it's a fact of his life 💀

[@animeyhem9780]

Batman doesn't have issues, the man has subscriptions...

[@hemendyran2809]

"BECAUSE IM BATMAN" from Super Cafe

[@joshuamohlman]

Anytime I say the color black, my mom always says, “and sometimes, very very dark grey”. Makes me laugh every time

[@rwwilson21]

One of my favorite lines is from The Dark Knight when the Joker is holding Rachel out of a window. Batman: "Let her go," Joker : "Very poor choice of words," Joker lets Rachel go.

[@neavetheartist]

Joker actually had good jokes in the Nolan verse

[@marcusyates3044]

Adam West: "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb" Top 10 Greatest Batman Anti-Heroes Ever!

[@jcurbaez]

I thought I was the only one to see the connection between that line and The Dark Knight Rises' bomb scene (with the ludicrously long speech by Thalia Al Ghul and the other three ones looking on her as the bomb ticks.

[@kai-mera588]

I liked batman beyonds, "i bet woman were falling at your feet all the time, what'd you do" to which bruce replies "i stepped over them" its just a funny conversation with the two bats and just shows how blunt older bruce was.

[@user-qq4ii3xl4k]

RIP Kevin Konroy, one and only true Dark Knight of Gotham

[@DianaGohan]

Uh maybe want to spell check that one buddy. Unless you come from an alternate earth where it's Kevin Konroy not Kevin Conroy.

[@jsmith3946]

no that dead hack wasn't there where others that where way better

[@Davidscomix]

@@jsmith3946you can have an opinion but insulting such a great man was out of line. He was undoubtedly the best Batman for many people

[@ericdunn7352]

Adam West is the best Batman.

[@pdnl1991]

​@jsmith3946 Calling him a hack proves how disgusting you are.

[@dayostical]

One of my favorite is from Justice League War, when Batman first meets Green Lantern GL: Well, someone hasn't had their true blood tonight. Bats: I'm not a vampire. GL: Can you fly? Bats: In a plane GL: Wait, you're not some guy in a bat costume, are you? Bats: (turns around and smiles)

[@andrewhaase1826]

Honorable Mentions: *"Who always pays their taxes? Not Batman!" - The Lego Batman Movie -This song was such a riot! *"Batman does not eat nachos!" - Batman: The Brave and The Bold

[@tiemendt5535]

Wow, Batman lives in Bruce Wayne's attic? // NO! BRUCE WAYNE LIVES IN BATMAN'S CELLAR / CAVE / DUNGEON (I forgot the exact line)

[@haakontherayquaza4046]

@@tiemendt5535 "Who always pays their taxes? Not Batman!" Joker: *Gasp*

[@waheedabdullah6371]

@@tiemendt5535 "Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's basement"

[@genius179]

The Taxes lines I'm sure would have been on this list.

[@PrinceTrexus]

Alfred: "Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?" Batman: "I'll get drive thru." ~ Batman Forever

[@anthonysimsjr6651]

R.I.P Adam West. You legendary and funny actor.

[@Batcat-en6oe]

Honorable mention: Justice League Dark: Black Orchid : You exude pain. Your life is a patchwork of blackness with no time for joy. How do you cope with it? Batman : I have a butler. Justice League War: [Batman removes the ring from Green Lantern, he changes back to Hal] Batman: What's this do? Green Lantern: Huh? Batman: No buttons. I assume it works off concentration. Hal Jordan: How did you do that? Batman: You weren't concentrating. Ok it’s not laugh out loud funny but it’s funny and epic in a way.

[@mattypaul87]

"This is why Suoerman works alone." That line was ahead of its time. A quip like that has been the backbone of the MCU's humour for years now.

[@keiming2277]

“I'm Batman.” "You're so dark. Are you sure you're not from the DC universe?"

[@jsmith3946]

that you so dark wasn't from batman

[@dravenasselin2971]

@@jsmith3946 you are correct it was from Deadpool 2

[@ma3mc3mu-X]

Harley Quinn also has another side-splitter: “Wonder Woman, you look _bangin’.”_

[@aidanhever3369]

"It's gonna be one of those nights." "Now, listen, Mustard Man, or whatever you call yourself." ~Batman~

[@henri191]

I like how batman said he is a rich guy with issues to Diana, it's kind of saying she was too good for her as she is a powerful warrior and the only good thing about him is his money

[@amethystpyrogaming9151]

One of the reasons I love the DCAU version of Batman is because he predates a lot of the really, really bad versions where he's just an asshole in a bat costume. Like, he says that in that episode and then spends the entire rest of the episode proving that point wrong. And the rest of the series, constantly looking out for Wonder Woman specifically but also every Justice Leaguer. Like when he thinks she got buried alive in the Gorilla City episode and is the only one to try and dig her out even though everybody with him at that time is stronger--because they think she's dead. The DCAU batman is one of the few versions that really symbolizes what Batman is supposed to be, a symbol of fear to the evil and a beacon of hope for the good. But he's not wrong about his issues lmao.

[@G1Grimlock94]

RIP Kevin Conroy

[@bricklover2258]

Anything Kevin Conroy is my favorite. I actually just got the entire Justice League and Justice League unlimited series complete on DVD after 5 years of looking for it. It was kind of an early half birthday gift forcme this year and I love it since it was the last animated series of Anything I grew up on that I absolutely needed.

[@PlatinumDSKing]

"Do you know how I got these scars?" "No, but I know how you got these."

[@davcharley5001]

Batman is the greatest,best lines 2 me are: 🌟"I made him make it" from the Harley Quinn series 🌟"I'm a rich kid with issues" 🤑 🌟"Some days u can't just get rid of a bomb" 💣 🌟"I can't fly,at all" 🦇 (Wished they added the "U WANNA GET NUTS!?, COME ON LET'S GET NUTS!!!" line from Batman 1989 film 🍿)

[@Kaution2004]

The funniest joke from the Adam West Batman series is when Batman and Robin get kidnapped and tied up and when BatGirl comes to save them, She demands Batman to pay her equally like how he pays Robin that woman should get paid men and Batman replies “No time for jokes Batgirl!”😭

[@dayostical]

I think that was a commercial for equal pay but it's still funny lol

[@patrickdoyle6201]

Why not Batwoman or Bat-Person?!🤔🤪😹😂🤣

[@anhurtorrez]

​@@patrickdoyle6201Batwoman is another hero altogether.

[@patrickdoyle6201]

@@anhurtorrez you obviously didn't see the movie

[@anhurtorrez]

@@patrickdoyle6201 which movie?

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

"...Mine are bigger than yours."

[@xHyper_Studiosx]

Oh that's a good one!

[@thegreenbee83]

I can’t place that line?

[@MihiraTheAce]

​@@thegreenbee83, justice league unlimited, batman says that to Amanda waller

[@steventhrasher3608]

@@thegreenbee83 to further what @MihiraTheAce said, Batman says it after Waller tells her men to turn off the safeties on their guns and Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and Superman step in in the way. Honestly I expected the line to be number 1.

[@NuttersIncorporated]

“It was a big rock” from Batman the Animated Series. Batman was disguised as Croc and was playing cards with some of the villains. The villains were sharing stories about times they almost got Batman. Batman as Croc says that he threw a rock at Batman. All the villains look unimpressed so he clarifies that it was a big rock.

[@jamesbrice3267]

The best part is that it's the one that came the closest.

[@glaceonfrost2342]

Batman : I only Work in Black... And Sometimes a Very Very Dark Grey... Me : What about Very Very Dark Blue?

[@genius179]

Not sure if you did this on purpose but it does remind ME of the line the costume designers said Schmucher screamed at them on "Batman Forever" when they showed him the original Batsuit. It was dark blue. The line is "I don't want a blue bat, I WANT A BLACK BAT!!!!!"

[@glaceonfrost2342]

@@genius179 I Did Not Know That... I Just Saw That Batman Sometimes Has Dark Blue on Him in other DC Medias So... Yeah...

[@gaudphree841]

Nothing will EVER top when Burt Ward's Robin was pushed off a ledge by the Riddler and Batman dropped the Batrope for Robin to catch in his teeth then pulled him up to safety. Robin: "Holy molars. Am I ever glad I take GOOD care of my teeth." Batman: "True. You owe your life...to dental hygiene."

[@patrickfriend876]

"Hand me down the Shark repellent bat-spray"

[@waheedabdullah6371]

*The hammer of justice is unisex*

[@thenewjord50]

Ngl I thought he said " I'm not wearing hockey mask" when I first watched The Dark Knight lol

[@amandaschaefer3786]

This line has me laughing, "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!" 🤣

[@surferzapper20]

Best one didn't even get an honorable mention. From the DCAU Batman/Superman movie: *Joker's airship explodes* Harley: *gasp* "PUDDIN!" Batman: "At this point, he probably is...."

[@MoonGoddessStarsAreMine]

Yes! I immediately thought of that one too! Also missing were 2 from the Batman Beyond episode where Terry takes Bruce to the Batman musical: "You hate me don't you", and Terry: "It's schway." Bruce: "It's schwarbage." Classic🤣

[@GTAnativeInXboxAndPlayStation]

“Eat Floor High Fiber” was a good line to use for an achievement title in LEGO Batman lol

[@tmoore4075]

"Children can be cruel." That was my favorite probably. lol

[@TobyKester9]

I love the "So that what that feels like" line😂😂

[@mawsafgjp4619]

"So that's what that feels like" I believe was first used from one of the animated shows when Superman does it to old Bruce. Best one with the laso of truth is when Diana says who she is, Clark gives his real name and Bruce says "I'm Batman". Edit: Justice League Unlimited. Amanda Waller has he men pointing their weapons at Batman. Behind him is Superman, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman. Bats looks at Waller and says "Mine are bigger."

[@tylergoodman3560]

Even though Batman and Robin was trash, the line: "This is why Superman works alone was funny. 🎉

[@brandonrobinson529]

Indeed 😂😂😂

[@patrickdoyle6201]

"WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER CAVE!"😹😂🤣

[@keifergilchrist3081]

They should have continued the "since I can't fly...at all" as it continues with him saying, "now would be good" which makes it so much funnier

[@GamerFunOriginallyAarush]

“I’m Batman!”

[@donaldlind523]

"Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?" "I'll get drive-thru."

[@jkbawlson391]

Flash: what’s your superpower Batman: I’m rich

[@matthewrosenthal753]

How was this line left off this list?

[@jkbawlson391]

I don’t know bro, they should’ve included it though.

[@user-em6ie2be7x]

Superman & Batman Public Enemies "I could've carried you ya know." Superman "Between you and me I Hate that." Batman

[@gingaddict]

one of my favourite lines was from Super pets - 'That better be a lincensed toy of I will freak out!' and when he lists the folk who have worked with him, saying 'Whoever Morgan Freeman played' - It was Lucius Fox btw for any asking.

[@paulc1553]

RIP the late great Kevin Conroy.

[@AndreaDoesYoga]

Batman's humor is truly underrated! 😂🦇

[@PrinceTrexus]

Lois Lane: "I can't believe it! How could you lie to me like that!?" Bruce Wayne: "Now, I never actually said I WASN'T Batman." (She slaps him) "OW!"

[@BelcherKendric-vn7ke]

What about from Batman Beyond episode 10 " Shriek " Terry : Tell me something. Why were you so sure those voices were not coming from you ? Bruce : Well, first I know I am not psychotic. Terry : I hope your other reason is more convincing. Bruce : And second, the voice kept calling me Bruce. In my mind, that is not what I call my myself. June 9th 2024 7:17 PM Central Time

[@aarontopa9458]

Despite him being dark and brooding, he has some really funny lines through out TV and movies!

[@MSheen-ef3ly]

Justice league animated series, season 2 ep 6, when told by Dee that by being close Dee can enter his brain, Batmans response, "my brain's not a nice place to be." I believe him.

[@slothreacts34]

I love Christian Bale’s delivery when he’s in the suit. It’s like it turned up to ten and on top of that he smoked for 20 years. “IM NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!” 😂😂😂😂

[@Animeguy300]

That line in the thumbnail is hilarious 😆

[@brandonrobinson529]

“I’m not wearing hockey pads” - The Dark Knight

[@jayewrite1256]

6:00 when stealth is optional

[@th3r0d]

AJ, I really appreciate your work, take, and presentation. This totally grounds you (in my mind), and it's great to get a feel for you without a script (I'm not a paid sub lol). I look forward to seeing you as a conversational host. Thank you for being the best upgrade to Unsolved Mysteries, BR:FoF. You're rocking the HELL out of my earliest niche in tv programs that weren't cartoons.

[@cameronjr8]

Please do Ranking Batman’s Love Interests from Worst to Best!

[@RajeshNarkhed]

"And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right." Will Arnett nailed this line in Lego movie as Batman 🦇🦇🦇

[@jonblankenship5908]

I got one "does it come in black?"

[@rinotilde2699]

That shade from the Lego Movie got me laughing hard when I first heard it haha

[@redenreburiano4]

Justice League Clayface pretending to be Flash: Don't worry Bats, I got him. I guess I didn't need you after all, yo! *Batman Tasers Flash in the chest* Clayface: How did you know? Batman: You overplayed your part...yo.

[@timalice-2833]

In one of the Lego movies when Batman throws a bunch of batarangs to hit a button and when he finally does he just says “first time” all proud.

[@eugeniapatroncosta920]

The Number 7, 5 and 3 are my favourites.

[@SPAnComCat]

I Love how Witty Batman is! And the "I'm not wearing Hockey-Pads" Line is a Classic!

[@brandoncampbell7274]

Naw naw naw, the absolute best line he has in the Lego Batman movie is: "I'm Batman - ing!!" Then Robin goes: "I'm Batman, I'm awesome, I got a 9-pack!" only for Barbara to lift the megaphone to tell them "STOP IT!" But it's the "Batman - ing!" part is what really kicks off that hilarious sequence.

[@topazlynx2228]

Barry: "So, what are your superpowers again?" Bruce: "I'm rich." Best superpower ever.

[@DavidKennedy0391]

The line “So that’s what it feels like.” Was actually used before in Kingdom Come. So in a way The Dark Knight Rises scene serves as an indirect homage to the comic.

[@joshcoe]

great!

[@anthonythomas305]

That line is hilarious 😂😂😂

[@TheNashvilleHumanist]

Justice League Dark where Batman stares a ghost right in the face and says "Boo."

[@The_Infamous_Boogyman]

I can't get over the dark knight where bale jumps off the parking garage and is about to land sideways but then the close up landing is foot for foot on top of the windshield.

[@mr.decencykeepinitreal6348]

Our favorite Dark Knight indeed. 85 years & counting. 🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

[@CloneScavengerVulpin8389]

Having good one liners and saving them for the right moments is one of the things batman does best.

[@michaelmonthey5974]

I would love to see a video for the Top 10 Batman Scores and Theme Songs In Movies, TV and Video Games.

[@phantomrequim]

His lines were hilarious, lol! This is why he's my favorite DC character.

[@cyclopstb]

Imagine Dean Cain’s Superman teamed up with Clooney or Kilmer

[@MSheen-ef3ly]

#1 is my motto!!! But here's another one I like, from last episode of JLU animated, Superman has just told Batman that he's getting soft in his old age, Batmans response, "Don't you have a tall building to go leap" and he's smiling when he says it. Another is JLU animated Season 2, ep 11, the Justice League founding members are framed and they are turning themselves in to help with public opinion, Batmans response, "This is the single dumbest plan I've ever heard." Kevin Conroy was the best Batman EVER!!

[@Thorax7x686]

Thank you Kevin Conroy 😢 Our beloved dark Knight 😞

[@sunnygirl523]

my mom and me love the line this town needs a enema lol 😂

[@whitewerebear]

I like when batman is taking not serious other heroes, for example on Justice League: batman put a bug device on Hawkgirl and then she ask: "Do you think I am stupid?" he responds: "On a scale to 0 from 10?" then she took out the bug and give back to him.

[@aicarrie1]

I think the funniest thing that Batman did was in Justice League when Batman was surrounded by Gorilla Grodd and some other bad guys. He sees that Clay Face brought backup and he says "I wish I'd thought of that. Oh, wait. I did!"

[@tzvikrasner6073]

"So that's what that feels like" actually had its origin in the Kingdom Come miniseries. Superman pulls it on Bruce Wayne near the end.

[@Kickinthescience]

Itsreal85 had better Batman lines than the live action movies did

[@rndmpinkiepie64]

1:55 Batman has made it clear to other heroes that he has exclusive rights to Gotham and others stay out unless they have his permission

[@olliesmith2890]

How could you miss Batman saying ''i'll get drive thru'', in Batman Forever.

[@Steven-pn8kd]

Or Batman calling Robin, "Dick Grayson, College Student".

[@silverbullet1620]

"So that's what that feels like." Kingdom Come series.

[@sethwright8754]

Tells Superman: "We know he used you, humiliated you, brainwashed you, wound you up like a toy soldier and turned you loose against Earth... Cry me a river". 😂

[@Wortigon2000]

Technically, many Batman adaptations had a glider worked into that cape of his, to give it some functionality other than being a mostly bulletproof hiding spot to get behind.

[@MrTimelord77]

This needs to be a list of 20.

[@Shinobito1]

'Where is Cronos? My arm's getting tired' 'I can't believe I was ever that green. This is how you interrogate someone.' 'And we have 9453 active Jokerz organised in about 200 smaller groups. I don't know where Cronos is. He contacts us. He spends every night in one of those different old buildings. There is no way ahead of time where is he gonna be. And that's everything I know'. 'Eveything?' 'I wet my bed till I was 14' And different Batman, but Batman: 'Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman. Or have you met?' 'NOT NOW!' 'Great. What did they use to call it? Stereo?'

[@samuelguzman60]

Justice League season 1 episodes 6 Deadshot: “you can’t scare me Batman” Batman: “ let me give you one word of advice” Deadshot: “okay! I’ll tell I’ll tell” Wonder Woman: “what did he say” Superman: “you don’t want to know” This should be on the list.

[@BelcherKendric-vn7ke]

According to Kevin Conroy he said " I know where you live Floyd ".

[@joopvanhedel1372]

Even though batman comics are very dark. Batman the Brave and the Bold and in Every Lego Movie showed that making Batman funny somehow works

[@Trekkie46]

"I'm not wearing hockey pads" isn't a joke. It was a serious jab to illustrate his point clearly.

[@neavetheartist]

I just like it when he slaps robin

[@genesisivan6965]

"It's not so bad. It smells like... discipline." - Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

[@BlindmanJack]

I thought 'Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic" will be the number one one liner on this list.

[@josh72456]

I've only seen Batman & Robin, The Dark Knight Rises, The Flash, The Dark Knight, Batman: The Movie and Batman Returns.

[@BrandonKohout]

It’s not so bad. Smells like… …discipline.

[@Raziel21]

Batman does NOT eat nachos!

[@CLJordanMusic91]

3:24 tell me y'all didn't catch that... I'll wait... 😅😅😅😅😅

[@blueraccoon1088]

"Time to clean your act joker" "Nightwing, Nightwing Nightwing, tell me something and be honest. Does this outfit make me look fat?" (It was batwoman but still) "A man walks into the bar and saws ow"