Top 5 best jokes in the Carry On film series

[@oldgeezer-dg9lq]

From the dentist one. "Tooth out! I'd rather have a baby." "Well make your mind up before I adjust the chair."

[@michaeldodds2722]

For me the number one was "Infamy, Infamy, they've all got it in for me!"

[@jaidee9570]

Not only is it the best Carry On joke, it's perhaps one or the best jokes in a film... Ever!

[@michaelmelen9062]

And from the same movie: Cleo: "I have a poisonous asp!" Antony (looking at her bum): "Oh, I wouldn't say that!"

[@madgeordie4469]

That is exactly the line I was thinking of when watching this!

[@moptopbaku6022]

Agree 100%

[@ritawing1064]

Never bettered.

[@lotusdev]

A vague memory - I think it must have been a Carry On that contained the exchange: "If you're a pirate where are your buccaneers?" "On the side of me buccin 'ead"

[@jantyszka1036]

In Carry on Doctor, Barbara Windsor sees Peter Gilmore eating a piece of fruit. Babs: "What a lovely looking pear." Gilmore: "You took the words right out of my mouth."

[@dappergander]

My favourite is from Carry on Up the Khyber: The Khasi of Kalabar: "And may his radiance light up your life." Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: "And up yours."

[@garfieldsmith332]

I agree. To me that is the best line ever in a Carry-On film.

[@michaelperry4308]

You forgot the #1 of all time Carry on Cleo when Caesar newly stabbed says "Infamy, Infamy, they've all got it In For Me"

[@williammatthews4491]

one of the great comedy movie lines ever.

[@Hairyskinback]

"tried it once" has always been my favorite.

[@timacrow]

Such fun, silly films. Always make me happy!

[@coldlakealta4043]

I looked forward to each and every one of them. They were very popular here in Canada where we enjoyed the accents and Britishisms immensely.

[@badkittynomilktonight3334]

The bullshippers one is classic

[@philippecasteleyn9327]

I do not understand this one.

[@johnsenior7154]

@@philippecasteleyn9327 It's a play on the word Bullshitters.

[@philippecasteleyn9327]

@@johnsenior7154 Thank you. I thought of that but I could not imagine that it would be so funny.

[@BarnDoorProductions]

From Carry On Jack: (On a sailing frigate, 1800) "What's that plaque on the deck?", "That's where our last captain fell.", "Yes, I nearly tripped on it myself."

[@chickenspadge]

Carry on Henry: Barbara Windsor - I can't believe it, little me in the king's arms! Sid James - It's the best boozer in town!

[@BarnDoorProductions]

And Henry's marriage vow from the same movie: "I do; she does; that's it; let's go."

[@brendanayres7920]

"We're here to let off some seamen. . . . NOT IN MY TOWN YOU DON'T "

[@barrybrodin7085]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@moose6509]

All classics. My favourite is Hattie Jacques in Carry on Again Doctor ´I´m a simple woman and I want to be wooed´ Kenneth Williams replies ´Oh you can be as wooed as you like with me!` Absolute genius.

[@TheUnknownuser08]

I like 'I'll buy you a packet of fruit and and nut'

[@Cocoacats1]

I believe that clever line is actually in “Carry on Matron”(1972).

[@moose6509]

@@Cocoacats1 You're right. My old brain always mixes the two. Love them all.

[@Cocoacats1]

Good on you. Carry on laughing. 🤭

[@willswalkingwest7267]

The Carry On films are great for a rainy Saturday and nothing else to do. Bottle of wine and a triple feature.

[@nickrich56]

Moostafaleek! ... from Follow that Camel always has me laughing every time.🤣

[@iandann8788]

number one line was "Hampton Court ?" and king Henry replies "no ,I always walk like this"

[@russellcampbell9198]

"You must be circumspect." "I was when I was a child."

[@j0hnf_uk]

'Shoo, Cooking Fat!' (shooing cat) 'They can't call it that, surely? 'Well, that's what it sounds like.'

[@joemurphy2177]

What about the gag where Kenneth Williams says " But Matron I was was once a weak man". To which she repies " Oh Doctor, once a week is enough for any man".

[@thegray5730]

British humor is finer than gold.

[@flamencoprof]

Carry on Cowboy "I'm the Mayor" Sid: You better watch out for my horse, hasn't seen a mare for weeks." Best I can remember from nearly 60 ya. Never forgotten it.

[@SpaceAgeMark]

Fantastic, although can I add these three from Kyber, "...you're a bit of a shot, I hope I heard you correctly!", "Fakir...off", and "I've never been on a cart pulled by cows, Bullucks Mr Belcher, no really I haven't."

[@dncarac]

"I think I'm getting plastered."

[@j0hnf_uk]

'We shall have to be circumspect.' 'Oh, I was. When I was a baby.'

[@dncarac]

@@j0hnf_uk "I wasn't too be wooed. " ... "Oh you can be as wooed as you want with me. "

[@andypezzack2747]

May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house. And on yours. And may his wisdom bring success in all your undertakings. And in yours. And may his radiance light up your life. And up yours.

[@stevescott6503]

Those Carry On Movies were a Sunday event when I was a kid, I had forgotten all about them.

[@jantyszka1036]

Carry On Up The Khyber: Brother Blecher: "I've never ridden in a cart pulled by cows before." Captain Keene: "Bullocks, Mr Belcher!" Brother Belcher: "No, I haven't, honestly."

[@paul2598]

Infamy!!! Infamy!!! They’ve all got it in for me.

[@AmazingPhilippines1]

Thanks for the laughs!

[@andreasrensen6465]

The Infamy line was my favourite, as well. My second favourite was the “Frying tonight” line, in Carry on Screaming.🙂

[@telemachus53]

My favourite are: "Infamy, infamy" (Williams) "looks like I'm getting plastered", (Sims) and "Doctor, you always were a once a week man" (Hattie).

[@craigappleton938]

"Hampton Court?" Had me sniggering for hours. Couldn't get to sleep! I wonder which came first, that or M and W's " Do you have the scrolls? Same punchline.

[@dncarac]

"No, it has to be the bull" makes me laugh every time. "Wear regulation trousers. That is all." "Miss Alcock" "Do you mind if I smoke" "Frying Tonight!!"

[@alanrix5344]

Yes the bull one is a classic

[@tarikwildman]

Infamy ! Infamy ! They´ve all got it in for me !

[@RoughJustice2k18]

From Carry On Camping - *Mrs. Fussey [about her daughter Joan and her friend Anthea]:* _"They might think your intentions are honorable, but personally, I've got sore misgivings"_ *Sid Boggle:* _"You ought to put some talcum powder on them"_ 🙃

[@djidel4992]

From Carry on Dick, at the tailors: Sergeant Strapp: There's a notorious inn just as you go into Lower Dencher here. Captain Fancey: The Old Cock, on the right. Isaac: Aha! Well that's where we've been goin' wrong! Captain Fancey: Ye- What? Isaac: I've made provision on the left.

[@peteknight3687]

Quite rightly number one. 👍🏻

[@Noycey64]

#1 clip is the one I always remember and one of my favourites.

[@robertmilo5203]

All that comes to mind are the cheesy ones "I have done it. Put it in... The sugar" and the bit with the elderly husband and the boarder. "That's the trouble. SHE's pregnant too"

[@francesquinn-escott744]

Carry On Up the kyber - "that must be the famous British Flem!"

[@steveandrews5712]

Mine is from Carry on Doctor I think. Patient is ask why he's in hospital and replies old war wound. He's asked to explain and says that he was in a trench when a grenade was tossed in and it landed between his legs and exploded and shrapnel went right up his .... rectum fills in doctor Well didn't do them any bloody good.

[@moominpic]

"Do you mind if I smoke?"

[@tomkent4656]

"I was once a weak man" can't be beat.

[@maxmustermann9587]

No. 3 still my favourite

[@deboralee1623]

recently, at least one news announcer mentioned a local "'shroom bloom"; for some reason, her comment reminded me of the "poison mushrooms" joke. now, a few days later, i see a version of that joke in this video. coincidence? 🍄☠️

[@chrisbeer4233]

Is that Peter Butterworth in some of the clips? I’ve never seen a Carry On movie but I recognize him as The Monk from Dr Who

[@tuco1099]

@@chrisbeer4233 correct!

[@jezelf2774]

Sid James objects to Pattie Jakes that he's not having an affair with a girl at the local tobacconist: "...I only went in there for me shag!"

[@lawrencedoliveiro9104]

2:30 June Whitfield. (I remember her from _Ab Fab_ .)

[@shelbynamels973]

and, unless I really miss my guess, M. Alphonse, the undertaker from 'Allo, 'Allo. Providing service swiftly and with style, despite a tricky ticker.

[@53jed]

Don't lose your head. " these English and their country seats, do they have towns in the city too?" "I'm sure you've heard of a London derriere."

[@jameswebb4593]

From up the Khyber " I spit on their British Phlegm "

[@edcampion3998]

WHERES LOVELY PEAR

[@tuco1099]

That's a good one but I didn't think it fit the category of a joke. Could be good in a Top 5 Carry On moments video?

[@adrianmanship2546]

The bet in the last clip for "half a dollar" IIRC, that's back in the days when the exchange rates were pretty stable and would be about a half crown (2s 6d)

[@MichaelBeeny]

She was only the Admirals daughter, but her naval base was always full of discharged seaman. Not sure which, if any Carry on film contained this joke.

[@tuco1099]

Sounds a bit too much for a Carry On, it might have been something from Bottom? (Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson)

[@ivanblakely903]

number 2 (& a follow through in #1)

[@gumbycat5226]

Carry on Up the Kyber: Oh dear y me, I’ve just been plastered. Or words to that effect…😊

[@73BigMC]

Do you mind if I smoke?

[@allanplant8756]

All the jokes in the Carry On movies were corny, old, and predictable. I just can't understand why I still laugh my head off every time I watch these stupid movies!

[@1969gawa]

What Stuart Farquhar picked these as the best?

[@psikopat57]

I'm not British (nor english). If someone could explain n. 4 and n. 1, that would be nice.

[@marinakaye8284]

Infamy!........?#

[@elizabethroberts6215]

Sid James to Jim Dale, ‘ & what do you hunt’? Reply: ‘Romans’.

[@philipusher4282]

Well to be honest, the bar is pretty low

[@jillelliott8175]

How come nuffink wiv Barbra Windsor

[@chrisantoniou4366]

Barbara was better "seen and not heard"...

[@demonmonsterdave]

You're confirming it was mildly amusing, but never funny.

[@danielburger1775]

No Kenneth Connor falling into shit?

[@tuco1099]

I know ken williams did it in behind and don't lose your head. Which film did ken connor do it?

[@danielburger1775]

@@tuco1099 It was meant to be a joke. It was in England, the least funny movie ever made.

[@tuco1099]

@@danielburger1775 ok. I've only see that one once. Def one of the worst

[@lauterunvollkommenheit4344]

It was a terrible series.