Top Surgery 101: How To Emotionally Prepare For Surgery

Thank you all so much for watching, ilu ❤❤❤
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[@idabee7605]

This is one of the more raw and unaddressed things about top surgery that i haven’t seen many, if any, videos about. I’ll make sure to have plenty of dialogue with my mom about these things now. Thank you so much. ♥️

[@_._faerie_._]

i've been bingeing top surgery videos for the past 3-or-so hours and it's starting to make me feel like i'm preparing for my surgery as if it's in a few hours or days, when it's actually still years away 🙁😞

[@lunawolfheart336]

You will get there one day. It might seem like it will never happen but it will

[@loadingresourcesdotdot]

It’ll probably come sooner than you expect. I’ve been waiting to go on t for months and months now, and I had my consent appointment yesterday. I thought it’d be another few months until I actually got the testosterone, but no. Suddenly I’m taking my first shot tomorrow. Even right before it happens, you can still feel like it never will or it’ll take a really long time but you have to remember that’s not true.

[@Luna_Moon962]

Same, I wish you luck

[@onecupofsoup]

Just a note. I have this thing where I memorize peoples speech patterns and voices. When I’m going through something stressful, in my head I imagine your voice saying something like “you can do this” but I can’t think of your speech pattern on demand but it’s there when I need it. I don’t know if that makes sense.

[@jenwalmsely]

I know you were firm with “I didn’t communicate well enough” but the people who were supposed to take care of you failed to do so and to be frank, they sound like total dicks. I am sorry you experienced that during your journey. I am so happy to see that you’ve got better friends and a healthier support system now.

[@peachespj7129]

I never really thought about the fact I’m going to need to talk to my care taker in such detail about things before hand. If I hadn’t watched this video I probably would have just asked if they’re cool with taking care of me and then expected them to know how much they’re going to have to help me. That would be a disaster and a half if I go about it that way Thanks for making this video Aaron, can’t wait for the next one

[@draxquirnon6809]

OMG Aaron!!! You should have NEVER experienced any of this!!! If you were my child, you would definitely have been taken care of!!! As far as that abandonment and disowning, that is absolutely horrible!!! Always remember that you are loved by your subs, especially me!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@rhiankidd2876]

I asked my mom if she'd be willing to help me through top surgery and recovery and she said yes. Yet..she doesn't like me talking about getting the surgery. So...for me it might be an uphill climb.

[@ck-tr3x24]

Ayo - big red flag. Search for a new family. There are better people that will treat you right in the world. 💚

[@maironelfstone896]

My parents are similar, they can do my pronouns and stuff but don't actually want me to transition

[@ElvishEly]

You should ask grace about the next video for this series considering they were the care taker for ash!

[@aquana]

Mixed feelings when it comes to this video (even though it's old and I just found it, 2+ weeks post-op)... I can't imagine having people in your life who actually take care of you and *complaining about it.* I know not everyone has to go through the entire process completely solo like I do but still. Really weird. Wanting reassurance? Comfort? I was so happy I was able to physically manage on my own, this is like a whole new world lol.

[@SilasNomad]

So, ive dealt with chronic illness since i was very young, and the pants moment really spoke to me. I remember once, during a flare up, i woke up in pain and needed to take painkillers, but my hands were so stiff and painful that i couldnt physically open the blister pack to get the painkillers out. Its a horrible position to be in, and I'd suggest folks plan for something like that- take your phone with you and ask your caretaker to leave theirs on ring. The guilt will suck, but if they care about you, theyd much rather be able to help than find you in the morning and feel their own guilt of not being able to help.

[@SincerelySadako]

I'm non-binary and I've been considering some level of chest surgery. I feel like I probably wouldn't want to get the full top surgery but maybe a breast reduction... Either way though, I think this part of this series is relatable for pretty much any surgery and it makes me a little more apprehensive about getting any kind of chest surgery because I worry about not having more than one person to help. I wouldn't want to put my partner through that again. I had my gall bladder removed about a year and nine months ago and had a bad situation with a caretaker then that I was really reminded of while watching this. At the time I was in a three person poly relationship with my current partner and our now ex. Before surgery both partners promised to help take care of me. This didn't happen. My current partner ended up doing everything because our ex was the exact way you talked about. They said things like "do you really need to do that right now?" They refused to help me and made me feel super guilty and so I often wouldn't ask until the need became more immediate. When they did barely make an effort they would often leave before I was done needing help and leave me stuck in places like the kitchen or bathroom. I wound up having to go and stay at my current partner's apartment that she had at the time because she needed to go back and knew she couldn't leave me alone with someone who wasn't going to take care of me. Then, after I had mostly recovered they ended up needing the same surgery and got mad at me for not helping them enough. I was still in pain but powering through and I did help every time they asked. The issue was that they never wanted to ask and every time I offered they got pissy and rejected my help anyway. It was horrible. My current partner on the other hand was great after my surgery. She put up with me needing help to get up and down the stairs for weeks to get to the bathroom and needing help bathing for weeks as well. The first week I couldn't even bathe on my own at all. She never really complained and if she reflexively groaned about something she had to do then she would apologize. She was amazing. Knowing how hard that was on her and how she stuck with me through it even though I take longer than most people to recover... I just don't think I could handle putting her through that again unless I made a friend or two I trusted enough to help her out.

[@steffie647]

Aaron, during a live-stream I asked for your advice on being the caretaker for my partner post-op. this was in march and without your advice I would not have been able to be there for him, or have stayed calm when he needed to just get all of the stress off of his (now flat) chest. so I wanted to thank you so much

[@mxxpower]

I feel so bad for anyone who struggles after top surgery because I had the easiest recovery and even being 2 hours post op I was picking my college courses and watching the office LMAO. I put on a t shirt the next day and was making my own food, I literally just chilled by myself. bless my body 🙏

[@generalprozaprozag2699]

Glad it went well for you

[@artifedex]

Max Power this is how I was with wisdom teeth removal... I had no pain immediately right afterwards and could eat normally while my sister was applesauce city and lots of ice for at least a day

[@lunawolfheart336]

@@artifedex I had no pain with my wisdom teeth but I definitely couldn't do much since I just remember being high off painkiller and really sleepy. I just watched TV and slept all week lol

[@lyricdemers8203]

You are so eloquent. Thank you so much for making your channel.

[@CapnCatbeard]

I cried watching this. "You deserve to be taken care of." 😭😭😭 Thank you for this

[@braydenbutler9178]

I'm so glad you're making this video series. There's so little info out there about the mental and emotional recovery from surgery. I struggled with post op depression after my top surgery a few months ago and I love that you're spreading these messages to help prevent that. ❤❤

[@aarronsholar6404]

This is perfectly timed! I have a surgery consult on Monday, and I'm aiming for surgery in December/January between semesters in school. My parents don't like me getting surgery AT ALL. I'm so scared that my parents will abandon me in a way afterwards, so videos like this really help to prepare and focus on the surgery itself

[@aarronsholar6404]

Bonidee Lee 😂😂😂😂😂 sorry, but this cracked me up. 1) I was never conditioned by anyone, I didn’t know the word trans existed until a few years ago; and 2) both men and women have both estrogen and testosterone in their bodies naturally.

[@aarronsholar6404]

Bonidee Lee do you have sources for these claims? I’d love to read them if you do. Otherwise, I do not wish to continue this. You are free to live your life, and I am free to live mine. Neither of us will feel an effect or repercussions from how we each live our life. Have a great week!

[@mikk5540]

This series couldn’t have come at a better time for me! I’m genderqueer and am currently waiting for my breast reduction surgery appointment and hopefully I’ll get it this fall. ^^

[@EllisJohnston-zx3py]

holy smokes. I'm going to be a caregiver for someone undergoing top surgery and 4 minutes into this first video I know your channel is going to be so helpful for me. The person I'm taking care of has a similarly traumatic upbringing and already what you've said has reminded me of conversations I've had with them. Times I haven't acted as quickly as I needed to because they'd already been hungry for hours or had to go to the bathroom. So grateful to have come across your channel. Thank you so much

[@neuroticsquirreljack]

I'm watching a bunch of videos to prep for my surgery this month and this one really dealt with a big issue that I needed brought up bc I really do have a discomfort of being cared for or showing any sign of "slacking off". And my friends/caretakers have already desperately tried to remind me that caretaking IS their job, so theyve got the added benefit of experience plus friendship. But I'm still like "oof I'm gonna be a burden"

[@jeremyduer3098]

👍🏼 I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of this series. I’ve had a lot of post surgery depression after top surgery, 3 weeks ago now. The swelling and how my chest looked after the reveal actually increased my depression/anxiety and dysmorphia. It’s getting better, but I haven’t been able to talk to my surgeon since the surgery. I will finally be able to talk with him this week to discuss my ongoing concerns. (He’s been on vacation. I’ve only seen his PAs post surgery). I’ve had several panic attacks since I first saw my chest and had to seek the advice and support of my therapist, psychiatrist and one of my doctors. The majority of reveals on KZbin etc. only show the ‘happy’ and euphoric side of surgery, but there are a lot of people, like myself with mental health issues etc., that don’t have it so easy.

[@lunawolfheart336]

Surgery can be pretty rough and your body and mind needs time to recover. I remember when just getting an arm implant in my arm bruised and needed compression.

[@leedleleedle7093]

Thank you so much! I'm horrified and terrified of getting top surgery but I NEED it so thank you so much. All these videos are going to be so helpful!

[@katieabdai2011]

I had a dental surgery when I was 18 and had my teeth wired shut. I thought I was going to suffocate (I was totally fine) if I fell asleep alone so my mom literally slept with me and didn’t actually sleep for more than half an hour for like three days. I felt so out of control and I can totally relate to this. I was so out of it I would shower (which I needed help with for the first few days) I had to nap for two hours before I could comb my hair.

[@quetzalotl6428]

Watching top surgery videos really helps give me peace of mind over when I'm going to get mine. Probably not for quite a few years since I don't want to be recovering during university but I know I'll definitely get it one day and I'm very much looking forward to that day.

[@killerkat95]

This video was sent to me by a friend and.... You and I have a lot of the same problems about abandonment and asking for help. This video is fantastic and exactly what I needed to hear as I'm getting mentally prepared for my own top surgery. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@ElijahCem]

Oh my baby. I love your intro! It makes me feel so welcomed into this video and to this community and it sums up your personality in just a few words.

[@sylvassasalladsbestick1342]

I love your videos. You're so direct and you talk about stuff that people usually don't bring up in this context. And your voice is very comforting too.

[@unspokenvoices3399]

Thank you so much for this !! I’m definitely going to reference back to this when I have top surgery in the future.I’m looking forward to this series

[@wolfie5192]

We have so much in common. Thank you for sharing. These videos help me so much and I'm so glad I found yours. The relatable content you have shared is unreal and makes me feel less alone with my issues.

[@Ghost-qk2ss]

Thank you for the video, it got me thinking about stuff that I really needed to think about for surgery. Also the advice about communication was great too. I'm crap at communicating my needs, and that's just something I need to work on in general. Great video Aaron I look forward to the next one ♥

[@K_w0r1d312]

Thank you for making this video! Aaron, you are an angel! I love watching your channel, I plan to get top surgery (when I get the money) and this is really helpful.

[@deadboy5678]

Thank u daddi~ 😘✨

[@pipsplace9072]

Thank you for this!!! This is important for so many reasons but also Thank You for talking abt how its ok to acknowledge that you have trouble communicating your needs (for mental health reasons, past trauma, etc) but that its not an excuse for you to not try to get better at it cause I relate to a lot of what you said so it was kind of a call out to me that I need to try and work to do better instead of kind of blame things on mental illness. ❤

[@lunawolfheart336]

I'm lucky to have my grandm who used to be a nurse. and she's constantly taking care of the family so I think I'll be in good hands.

[@spencerdeluce6742]

Thanks Aaron, this was really helpful and made me feel less alone in the worry that I won’t be able to communicate properly due to a lot of internal guilt I have very similar to yours. Your videos are always so soothing and calming and help ease my anxiety afterward, so thank you for making them ❤️

[@yamirx4266]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that😟 As someone who has just started there transition and plan on getting top surgery within the next year I truly appreciate you sharing your experiences as well as all the tips and pointers☺ Can't wait to check out your further information on this topic. You're awesome Aaron And thanks again!

[@Mary-op8hi]

This is an incredibly helpful video when it comes to honestly any surgery.I am scheduled for three surgeries in the next year and I will definitely be referring back to this video. Thanks plant daddy!!

[@gh0stbat110]

I was thinking of who would take care of me for top surgery, seeing this video helped a lot. Without it, I probably would ask the wrong person to take care of me post-op.

[@andrewkristoffquinn8216]

Thank you for this series! I know I will have top surgery and not sure when but I think of everything concerning it so this helps me prepare. Also, I was disowned too and you are a strong person going through that and twice! Kudos to you and love you so much!

[@ndhbndn]

Thanks so much for this video, I’m looking to be getting top surgery next year and while I may know about the medical healing side of things I haven’t given much thought to the vulnerability associated with being taken care of. Can’t wait for the next video because my mum who’s going to be taking care of me really needs to understand what they’re getting into and if they can do it. Plus I love how you explain things in the video really concise so good job in that aspect

[@trip483]

Hey papa sprout (I was about to call you papa smurf lmao) anywho I'm going to have top surgery in march, and I'm sooooo happy that you're putting out this series. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@piper4413]

Your thoughts are really well-organized. I remember at one point on the podcast you saying you weren't as comfortable with the idea of giving talks but might want to (paraphrasing lol) but this would be such a great talk!!! You really make your line of thought clear.

[@wegotthepower]

Thank you so so so much for this video! i’ve already had top surgery, but that post op experience just in the beginning of my recovery wasn’t good at all due to my caretaker got sick and neither they or I had the ability to vocalise our wants & needs. So in the end it got to the point where I just felt overwhelmed and as a burden with every little thing I asked for. I got lucky to have another friend offer themselves as caretaker so I could stay at their place instead for a couple of days. But I don’t ever want to go through such an experience next time post op. Your video really helped me in pin pointing the things I need to do and the caretaker need to do. Thank you!

[@beansystem]

❤❤❤ Thank you for making these videos. We just scheduled my top surgery consult today. I'm going to show my support system all of the videos you've made about this while we're planning and try to make sure we're all as emotionally and logistically prepared as possible. I'm sorry that you went through so many difficult and painful experiences, and I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective and help prepare others. In the video you made geared toward the caretaker(s) in this situation, when you talked about how past trauma affected your recovery experience and your ability to communicate, it really resonated with me. That sounds very much like a position I could've found myself in. I feel like some of the important points you've made in these videos have helped me prepare so much in ways I didn't think of on my own. There's so much physically that goes into top surgery and planning that I think a lot of people overlook their emotional needs and don't anticipate everything that comes up in recovery. These videos are a priceless resource to have out here for others to find and I appreciate the positive impact they can have on so much of the trans community. Putting this out there was a great thing to do.

[@jj.7291]

I'm currently preparing for top surgery and this is so so helpful. I just watched your video on how to take care of someone post op and I'm so glad I did! This has been on my mind as I've been concerned my post op caretaker doesn't know the level of the commitment they are getting themself into. But these videos have helped me be able to articulate my concerns and I now know that I need to have a proper conversation about expectations so that I'm not stuck without help after surgery, or with inadequate help from someone who can't provide me the full care I need. Thank you!

[@risiden3518]

bless this is the perfect time for this series i have top surgery in 3 months

[@VeganPirateNinja]

Very important!! This is helping me prepare myself mentally for what's hopefully to come x

[@ivankavoutchkov650]

Great video, it was super informative!

[@interstellarpieceofmeat]

thank you for talking about this. truly thank you.

[@jessie-nl8eb]

I really admire your willingness for self-reflection

[@popgoestheweasel99]

Man your the bomb hey .. Having my top surgery in January, so this is mega informative for me . I still appreciate your pure raw emotions . I could listen to you all day . Cheers from Australia :-)

[@theonlywayisforward6261]

This video is something I really needed to hear so thank you. I recently went through a difficult kind of traumatising thing that brought up old trauma and my fear of communicating boundaries has skyrocketed. Thank you for telling me the thing i know in my head but am scared of applying and for the reassurance of what is okay with others/ reestablishing my own responsibility. xx

[@jeristovall5465]

I really needed this video Aaron. Thank you so much. I don’t know when I will be about to have top surgery but I just hope that I can have someone to help me like that. 😊😁

[@berniegertje5358]

Thank you so much for this video Aaron! I am getting surgery in September and this is so so helpful! I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of this series! (but also don't feel any pressure to get them out on my behalf. u do u

[@kihayward]

Thank you for this Aaron :). I am early on in my transition journey, but looking at top surgery down the road. I also have spina bifida, and am wheelchair bound. This gave me a good insight into what supports I will need when the time comes. Thank you again :)

[@ryankann2685]

This was so helpful bc I’m getting top surgery in December (even though I’m only 16!) with out you I’d never have come out or had this opportunity. I can’t thank you enough Aaron ❤️

[@ryankann2685]

Bonidee Lee I’m capable of making my own choices and if for some reason this is “just a phase” I’ll live with the consequences. My parents are wonderful people who have supported me through everything, listening to what I need for my mental health. They’ve never pressured me into anything. I’m sorry that you’re misinformed on this topic, but I know that I can’t change your mind. If you’re open to learning I’d be perfectly happy to help educate you.

[@ryankann2685]

Bonidee Lee www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5580378/ Idk where you got your info but here you go. I don’t have time to pointlessly fight bc I have to actually go to work to pay for my “mutilations.”

[@peanuts666]

I'm so sorry for you

[@leokoretz2382]

This video is so good I’m going to show my parents this series

[@fastuspavus2355]

I'm having top surgery next week thank you so much for this video. This series is so soothing and comforting especially from you since you have been one of the earliest trans KZbinrs I really started connecting with.

[@fastuspavus2355]

I know this is a bit of an older video but it's still helping even years later

[@yael5334]

This is such an important thing to talk about! I'm currently two weeks post op and the only people I have around me are my parents. We don't talk, never have. So getting help from them with this isn't very easy. My mum helped me get in and out of my compression vest a few times, and carried my groceries. (Which I appreciate!) Other than that I've been looking after myself. I'm very, very lucky that I'm able to handle pain really well and don't have any pre-existing conditions, because I otherwise I couldn't have done this alone. I should have talked to them before hand, or asked someone else. I didn't. That's my own damn fault, and I'll manage. But this could have gone a lot worse. Don't be a dumbass like me and talk to the people around you!

[@andywray2170]

these videos are very important. thank you for much.

[@spiceandmice9135]

I'm really stoked for this series (and Ash's top surgery video that just happened), I'm going to my consult soon (~20 days), and having top surgery probably within 5 months after.

[@xavierrose5817]

Thank you for this video! My top surgery is coming up and this is something that’s been on my mind and it’ll be a good discussion to have with my care taker!

[@vickilljoy6099]

I'm scheduled for surgery in less than a month and I've been stressing all week about preparations. I live in Norway and we only have one hospital that offers gender affirming treatment, which means I have to travel roughly 70 miles and organize the whole travel plus hotel stay for my caretaker myself, and the hospital has given me almost no information to go off on :D I called them just to ask roughly how long I could expect to be on a sick leave for so I could plan it with my boss, and they just said "we'll sort it out when you get here". I also tried to ask how long I could expect to stay in the hospital, so I could plan my trip home (plane tickets), and they didn't give a good answer to that either. Their website offers absolutely no information on top surgery for trans people, only cancer patients. The lack of information is stressing me out even further, so I'm so grateful to have come across this video series! Will definitely be adding it to my watch list and go through them all (also, apologies for the small vent, I needed to let it out lmao)

[@arcangelmaaze7804]

Thanks for this. I had similar experiences to what you went through and I am so sorry.

[@lanzkietvph9989]

I really appreciate this video. I can definitely relate about being abandoned(i also have a fair share of similar story). Getting help from others is difficult for me as well because im used to doing things on my own. I just pray that when my top surgery comes, it wont be difficult for me to recover. That goes to all of us who will going through surgery as well. Peace!

[@NoahHella]

Thank you for this, I’m having top surgery in less than two months so this comes exactly at the right time :)

[@teaguebean]

All of these things are why my partner and I have a TEAM of friends/family who we have talked to about helping me through surgery and I don't even have my consult till next week. I already have a lot of health problem, which some of our friends have already had to help me through. But my point is, watching your videos about your top surgery made me realize how much help I'm going to need. I already struggle to do daily tasks and hurt myself cause I didn't ask for help. I am in so much pain all the time that my partner has had to learn that if I'm complaining about it, we probably need to go to the hospital. But I don't want to inconvenience them by having to do that so I'll ust keep pushing myself till I drop and can barely move. We bought a new couch and got it specifically because it will be amazing for recovery from top surgery. Thank you for getting me to think about these things and talk about them and trymy best to be prepared for the worst. I'm not ready to feel out of control of mt body and surrounding

[@Ian-th3np]

thank you so much im having top surgery in two weeks and im so excited and scared and this is helpful and honest

[@gabeangel8104]

Thank you for this. My top surgery will not be for a while yet as I’m about to start T and have been told I will have to wait about 2 years after that for top surgery. My normal level of disability from my Eds and M.E. means I need a fairly high level of care though and I am also still having issues from an emergency surgery in November. I know too well the helplessness you describe here and what you said helped me to reflect a lot on both experiences I have and have had due to my disabilities, and why the experiences around that surgery in November caused so much trauma for me. I have had fears about choosing to put myself through top surgery, even though I know I desperately need it from a dysphoria point of view. Listening to this video has helped me to realise that there are things I can do to help reduce the risk of top surgery being another trauma like that as well as helping me to take steps forward in dealing with that past trauma.

[@marceloponce8342]

Thank you so much for this video and the videos to come! I've heard you talk about surgery and I know it was exhausting for u. If at some point you feel like doing another video about it and it's not too much, I'd love hearing about the process of booking your surgery abroad, getting money for it, and traveling there. I live in Canada as well and don't trust local surgeons

[@caseymorrissey9900]

Aaron, I appreciated this so much. I am getting top surgery in a little under 3 weeks. There are lots of great videos about supplies to buy, what to pack, etc, but this really helped me to face my worries about being vulnerable during this time, and will allow me to lay some groundwork. Thank you!

[@aidenmorales5517]

hey how did your surgery go!

[@A-n42]

Could someone translates the next video in french? I d love my mom to watch it 'cause she s the one that will help me for my recovery but she does not speak english at all

[@A-n42]

Anthony Edward Stark Oki thanks I didn't know 😁

[@analmoose6661]

Very good surgery video

[@tylerchampion6187]

I know this is an old video, but thanks for it. I'm having surgery on the 17th of this month, and I was really worried about this side of things

[@renferal3774]

Not sure why this came up in my feed but I watched your video and it was just so heartbreaking to hear what you went through. I am so so sorry that happened to you.

[@0MGitsRayRay]

this is very important, thank you for this. i want top surgery next year at the earliest and there's a surgeon in my province (New Brunswick) i'm feeling a little more hopeful, i'm not on T yet and dysphoria is killing me, but i'm still alive in spite of that because i want to see myself succeed.

[@mindtech6796]

I can feel you

[@alecrobbins3989]

I love your voice

[@HeilielPrince]

>.< oof more back pain to look forward to. You're the second person to mention back pain. this...is going to suck for me possibly...I go for my top surgery on the 6th of next month. So soon. My roommate seems up for helping me out, but i certainly need to speak with her more. Thank you for this video

[@quaz1855]

Yes daddy thank you

[@dizzydoo4211]

I dont know if I can prepare for time I will once have my top surgery. 😅

[@jaxjazzflower9828]

Thanks Aaron! :) This is perfect timing! I'm starting to plan my top surgery! I'm curious if there's anyone you know of who has had top surgery and not had a care taker. I've had two surgeries in the last year (not trans related) and for most of it I was recovering on my own. I did have help for the first week. I'm wondering if maybe I can get away with only needing a care taker for a week or like not at all? I'm getting the impression that I will probably need someone pretty bad. That does make me really nervous. Can't wait to see what else you are going to share with us 😘 thank you for existing and being an honest, open you! I love you Aaron! ❤️💛💚💙💜

[@yamsenthusiast957]

I’m going to be all alone in a college dorm after my top surgery and I’m really scared, but I’m about to watch this video and I hope it will help me bear it.

[@JensonCruz]

This. Is. Fantastic. My top surgery is in two weeks and the only person that knows how I feel is my girlfriend... My family knows the date of the surgery but that's it. I haven't heard anyone else explain these things so well and have it be exactly what I'm feeling. I'm scared but I'm trying to realize if it's my pride and not wanting to ask for help? Or in a way just expecting it? Like, is that wrong? To expect your own family to care a little more to ask questions? To request time off work? Or just to ask me if I would like them to take time off work. I'm so insanely stressed out about having a caretaker that's the caretaker I want/need but like you said, I guess I can't expect something without saying it myself. It's really tough. I also have a youtube channel and haven't even said anything about this on there because it's been too tough.

[@JoeWolf666]

gonna have top surgery in september and it looks like i'm going to go through it all alone, exept, i guess, some help from nurses.. whelp, it's actually nice to know at least how bad it can be, before going through it, heh, so thank you very much for this video

[@theonlywayisforward6261]

when I can't think of a single person who would actually take care of me and not have manipulative unhealthy emotionally abusivey attitudes towards me. Gosh I really need a better support system. xD

[@hawkfishandy7584]

It really hit me when you talked about the person/people who we love and expect to love us no matter what let us down. My parents will always love me, but my mom truly doesn’t like me for being trans. That hurts. She’s supposed to be taking care of me post op just for a few days and I’m dreading it. Being taken care of by someone who is only doing it because they feel they have to is miserable. God I hope i heal fast!!! Thanks for making this video, it’s quite timely!

[@hawkfishandy7584]

I’ve never experienced suicidal ideation. This is an interesting study, but doesn’t apply to all trans people.

[@hawkfishandy7584]

Thanks for the well wishes :)

[@jayymeszaros8744]

I got an ad!!

[@ghostxlee5565]

I’m getting ads on this video (((:

[@chrispereida5220]

❤️❤️

[@LeonBell]

This is making me kinda anxious about getting top surgery. I haven't even started on T yet, but I don't know where I'll live when doing the surgery, and whether I'll still live with my foster parents, if they can help me, or if I have to ask for help from my biological parents. Seeing this now at least prepares me well I guess haha

[@devin367]

How many weeks or days does someone else need to take care of you?

[@devinnathaniel9446]

How did your EDS affect your recovery?

[@gnkdroid8594]

i’m terrified only because the second i try to explain any of the post op depression my father will use that as a chance to say i’m not trans or will get mad at me

[@someonesomeone3776]

Can you have top surgery without a care giver? Because I got rejected by my family and I don't have anyone. Thanks.

[@complexwords5380]

This is a thing that really scares me, i definitely want top surgery in the future but i don't think i have anyone i can reliably ask to take care of me if that happens. I'm really bad at asking for help too. I don't know. Hopefully i can make new relationships or strengthen my current ones before my need for top surgery becomes immediate but yeah this is something i worry about quite often

[@Hhhhhhhhghb]

I love that all of you (you, Chase, and Ash) are friends, it makes me so happy to know such good people all found each other

[@showandtell1313]

at the moment, i have recieved my top surgery date (next month) and my dad ruined it for me :( i hope to god i have a good recovery

[@chase_space]

Okay real question, is there anyway I could take care of myself after top surgery?

[@spiceandmice9135]

I know people do, but your reaction to surgery could be as good as theirs, or much more difficult. You'll need to make everything reachable, stock up on easy to prepare meals, and have a way to get to post surgical appointments, and I'd always have someone with you the night following surgery (in case you have an adverse reaction to the anaesthetic, a painkiller, etc, and because you should have an escort home anyway). edited for clarity

[@jackie586]

i’m worried that if i stay at home, i will get an infection from my cats. and if i go stay at someone else’s house, that i will spiral from not being able to be with my cats xD