Torture: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

The US Senate Torture Report revealed horrifying details of America's interrogation program. Helen Mirren will fill you in.
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[@SkyWayMan90]

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay" sounds like great fun if you don't know what either of those things are

[@twat3789]

I know what both are and it still sounds relatively fun

[@tomkim2713]

I don't know either of them a whole lot since I wasn't big on law, but I find that it could end up being a high adrenaline water slide at the bay.

[@greenpiersystem]

Waterboarding 101: you know that scene in Civil War (marvel movie) where the guy trying to control the Winter Soldier sticks one of the old Nazi scientists upside down hanging in a sink? This is essentially waterboarding. There’s different versions depending on the country and time it took place, but the basic principle is you are trying to drive someone to talk by threatening them with water; in Civil War, this is by slowly filling the sink with water, until it covers the man’s face, and since he can’t move, he will drown. Other related methods include repeatedly forcing someone underwater against their will and the “slow drip” method that was used for a period in eastern countries. As a side note, there is a John Oliver on Guantanamo Bay, which is pretty handy. P.S. Yes, I understand the joke. It does kinda sound like a water park if you shutoff the fact-checker inside your head for a moment. But in case people want to know, here you go.

[@mistermangoman69]

It also sounds like an alt metal song

[@DrMillF]

@@greenpiersystem No, that's not waterboarding..

[@krautdoomer9748]

America doesnt like the term "waterboarding". Its called "tactical baptism".

[@quentinbrown9300]

The Pixel Master Dude, underrated comment right here!

[@jasonramero6274]

Lmao

[@seankim1529]

OMG you should work at Pentagon or as a White House spokesperson XD

[@DBiank93]

George Carlin would be proud of you

[@unicornsprinkles3277]

😂 unapproved face washing

[@potaterjim]

"We know it's torture, but it's okay because we're the good guys and we really need to do it this time" ~Everyone who's ever used torture

[@bluegenes2273]

* wink, wink * -those same people

[@Wesker10000]

Yeah but fuck terrorists. I would feed them through the ass myself. Such people deserve it.

[@lucasdupont4568]

@@Wesker10000 no, they do not.

[@Wesker10000]

@@lucasdupont4568 Tell that to a mother whose child was killed by someone firing a machine gun into a crowd.

[@zirjaeger4037]

@@Wesker10000 I mean the American army has done that quite a few times

[@charlotteice5704]

As German, when I think of the US, I think about the nation that says it embodies freedom but is the complete opposite.

[@bluegenes2273]

beatings will continue until morale improves.

[@HarryPotter-vh9pc]

Exactly. I always wondered if American people actually believe this lie. Because they're not the country of freedom. The truth is there none such country. Because all of them will do whatever they consider as "necessary", like violate human rights or freedoms, to protect its interests or safeties.

[@philliproth5012]

That is indeed what we think.

[@rmountains3519]

You wouldn't be wrong.

[@charleschristensen8556]

That’s exactly how America is. If you’re a minority, you don’t get justice.

[@mrbanditoxyz]

Rule of thumb: if the Spanish Inquisition used the technique, it is torture.

[@c0mf0rta61ynum6]

Even the comfy chair?

[@cremetangerine82]

c0mf0rta61ynum6 ESPECIALLY THE COMFY CHAIR!

[@DrTranofEvil]

Yeah, but NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

[@elimkwok938]

I wasn't expecting this

[@lester6415]

So it's torture if your main weapon is surprise?

[@Degan1000]

Is anyone else here stunned that a Supreme Court Justice used a fictional hero from a television show as part of an argument about torture and constitutional law?

[@mrking5775]

right

[@Mevolon18]

murica in a nutshell

[@jacksonheadley6203]

Well, he's dead now

[@oommcc]

+Jeff Foehringer He was a Christian, what do you expect, facts?

[@nathanburke7978]

+omc fuck off

[@DJDCBRRS3]

The CIA never read the Art of War. You treat enemies with compassion so that you might convert them

[@Bunni_boi]

CIA: We have read it. In fact we have a whole library and have filed it under fiction.

[@totallyrealnotfakelifeadvi7547]

Honestly, I’m not sure that the CIA’s ego would allow that

[@The1980Philip]

I prefer ending the threat permanently. Genocide may be horrifying, but it makes sense from a military standpoint. That's why the bible encourages it.

[@antonyandrewson5803]

@@The1980Philip where?

[@The1980Philip]

@@antonyandrewson5803 Let's start with 1 Samuel 15 Now the Bible, of course, tries to justify this (and other instances of genocide) by saying the other peoples (in 1 Samuel 15 it's the Amelekites) raided and attacked first and stood in the way of "God's plan", but if one looks at it without believer's bias it is pretty obvious that those raids and attacks are no different from what the Native Americans did to resist the encroachment of European invaders.

[@jordansullivan5764]

I mean at least Obama seemed to understand the gravity of the situation, although his choice of words was admittedly bizarre. He was certainly not a perfect president, but it is genuinely a breath of fresh air to hear the leader of the United States actually talk about issues coherently...or even talk about anything coherently.

[@beenaplumber8379]

I'll point out that he was only talking about things that were done by the previous administration. He wasn't fessing up to anything his administration had done.

[@darthironamerican]

*sigh of pain*

[@_jangkoon]

It should be noted that the Obama Whitehouse tried to suppress the torture report and keep it from coming out.

[@rmountains3519]

@@_jangkoon All presidents did that.

[@charleschristensen8556]

R Baker yeah

[@factsabouturmum9250]

It's not torture, it's Advanced Interrogation. It's not arson, it's Thermally Accelerated Entropy. It's not rape, it's a Struggle Snuggle. I'm not a criminal, I'm a Politician. :3

[@factsabouturmum9250]

sarcastic bowl of cornflakes np, m8. :3

[@yaoiboi60]

+Homini Lupus Struggle Snuggle sounds so cute :3

[@examine1525]

+Homini Lupus Politically correct everything man! You're the Genius!

[@theyoutubecommentepidemic5528]

+Homini Lupus Wow, I think that was the first struggle snuggle joke I've ever laughed at. Good job, I guess?

[@thekingofnorway3465]

+Homini Lupus "Struggle Snuggle" or "works in mysterious ways"

[@drewchestnut468]

John Oliver is a national treasure. Thanks, England. No takesie backsies.

[@IKnowNothing0101]

We've got Jonathan Pie, we'll be alright.

[@Izzy-fv1ng]

He's good but... Jonathan pie.... john Oliver..... Jonathan pie..... john Oliver...... I can't pick - they're both brilliant!

[@ajinkyagadgil2747]

Drew Chestnut Yeah! Yeah! They have got lots of 'em.

[@tonymarshall3978]

It’s fine we have terry Gilliam I think we still won in the deal

[@Nmille98]

"England. Where I am fondly known as: 'Who?'"

[@brandonmartin8258]

The main problem with torture is, if you pull mu fingernails out with pliers, I'll say anything you want to hear.

[@marshmellowmoon7990]

I'm a very stubborn person and I would just give you even worse information. Have they even read the Art of War.

[@idenree8606]

You do realise that john Oliver takes examples from the US and only from 2001 til now , how about we go a little further and look in different countries.

[@iananderson4754]

@@idenree8606 you mean like the crusades?

[@idenree8606]

@@presidentialcampaignmusic1018 it's not whataboutism, he only examples from a short period of time , ignoring everything before that , and we shouldn't take just from the US but from around the world .

[@idenree8606]

@@iananderson4754 Idk what or who you exactly mean ,but if you're talking about every groub that the crusaders has ever tortured for any reason then no , because I'm pretty sure they did it to what they believe were " witches " or something. .

[@lemonine907]

“there is no sitcom that explains torture to us.” John Oliver created the Good Place.

[@Evilanious]

"President Lindsey Graham" Oh, happy times when that was still the bad option.

[@trypptrapp266]

I'd take him over our current one

[@venangoproductions]

TryppTrapp Truth

[@katherinesaeed5534]

And happy times when we though 2016 was the worst year of our lives.

[@misssissivoss]

@@katherinesaeed5534 Even two week later, the situation is worse. George Floyd dead an Trump ....is trumping

[@katherinesaeed5534]

MissSissiVoss I’m with you there. Peaceful protesters even face police brutality.

[@ShirosTamagotchi]

the fact that you need to convince the public that torture isn´t right scares me.

[@williamyoung9401]

There's also that pesky 8th amendment to our Constitution that's supposed to prevent it. But hey, it's like religion, right? Convenient.

[@Effect_FX]

@Joe Michaels Yeah, that doesn't actually happen.

[@Effect_FX]

@Joe Michaels In other words your talking about something unrelated. What he did is already illegal. Hence why he's in jail.

[@jakepietrzak7552]

Joe Michaels in prison.....

[@frowlinian8175]

@Joe Michaels when did he say he was okay with that? Mustve missed the second part when he said "torture is horrible but plunging a knife into the heart of a newborn baby? Nothing better" Strawman, much? You should really stop assuming people's political ideologies or atleast learn about whatever it is that you're randomly bringing up....

[@anava7030]

Love how John Oliver never misses an opportunity to drag Mel Gibson

[@stephenwright8824]

_Australia's favourite Catholic,_ you mean?

[@sergiomelendez285]

A Supreme Court Judge quoting 24 and Jack Bauer as benchmarks. What the hell?

[@iuscommutativa6925]

Murica

[@amgjc]

Can anyone explain how a supreme court justice cites a tv show to prove a point in law?

[@qwert_au]

'merica.

[@Tenhys]

Because court justice is already a show : both sides play their role ; attack and defense. They prepare to recite their respective texts before the court, enters it, plays it, meeting more or less success in their interpretation of both their role and the law. Then wait for the jugement, of both the public and the official jury. And only once after the Judge's hammer strike to announce the verdict that everyone leaves their seat and go home. Waiting for the next play. Justice always had been a play ; court is it's scene ; the law it's theme ; the case it's context. When politics, industries, governemental agencies, military, public celebrities or money goes into the play of Justice, wich man that claim himself of any sane mind could ever believe it's scales to stay perfectly impartial ?

[@brandenmerritt1]

Because Scalia was a joke of a human being. Good riddance

[@ryanknight3966]

Maybe if you did some research on what was said, when and where it was said, and why it was said, instead of relying on a 5 second clip that cherry-picks lines from a full quotation and has a comedian present it without any context you can answer that question for yourself. Dumbass.

[@amgjc]

No need to be rude! Even if he said it outside a case, the analogy is ridiculous to prove a point of law in the real world!

[@chaif.6106]

Is it so wrong that satire comedy news is the best way to get non-biased news.

[@Chronically_ChiII]

In a sense it is still kinda biased

[@zelnidav]

+Cubed It is common sense biased :D

[@theantibulliranger1580]

You know what is wrong? The fact that you put the symbol of the glorious Nohrian kingdom next to that of Hoshidan fools.

[@chaif.6106]

+theParmesan ha ha ha videogame jokes...

[@nathanburke7978]

As much as I agree with John Oliver it is VERY biased. The difference is that it doesn't pretend to be unbiased.

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Torture isn't reliable. We just like the idea of hurting people we think "deserve," it, and "it provides results," is the best we can come up with to not sound like barbarians.

[@potaterjim]

It's bloodsport, just like the roman colliseum. Watching "Bad man get hurt" activates a dopamine rush, just like heroine or video games or chocolate, or whatever else the news feels like misrepresenting. Same reason the prison-industrial complex is so messed up: People don't want justice, they want revenge

[@abandonmentissues1887]

@@potaterjim thing is the roman coliseum was less susceptible to systemic abuse and murder most gladiators didn’t fight to the death

[@MrAnimason]

@@abandonmentissues1887 Bro a gladiator literally assassinated a Roman emperor.

[@PosthumanHeresy]

@@potaterjim So we either fight the people tooth and nail until the species dies trying to save them against their will or give them what they want?

[@DaDunge]

You don't sound like Barbarians. Barbarians almost never hurt or kill without reason, that's civilized people

[@Rodrigo-ei4ht]

Burn Notice, a show about a "fired" CIA spy, constantly brought up the fact that torture doesn't work citing that the people would say anything to get the pain to stop. They'll admit to what you want to hear so you don't keep shooting their knees off surprise surprise. Instead the main character would build a rapport with the suspect and get them to willingly reveal their crimes because they trusted the main character. I miss Burn Notice

[@JoaqMan]

Helen Mirren could make horrible cringeworthy KZbin comments sound interesting.

[@MRayner59]

J Wizard Phoenix Great idea. Although I'm sure she has better things to do with her time.

[@themastermason1]

J Wizard Phoenix Showing someone those horrible, cringeworthy KZbin comments may possibly be the most effective means of torture.

J Wizard Phoenix why the fuck do they call he "dame"? was she in a 1940's detective movie or something?

[@jamescarter5340]

talesin- god of the internet It means she's been given a knighthood. For a man it would be sir

[@DerBomster]

talesin- god of the internet In Britain that's the female equivalent of a Knight. I would have expected a god of the internet to be able to google that by himself.

[@dennistheconstitutionalpea6174]

"Torture has never been a reliable means of extracting information. It is ultimately self-defeating. One wonders it's still practiced." -Captain Jean-Luc Picard

[@EveryThingGirl238]

Because most people believe in Hell, which is a place where sinners are tortured for all eternity for the sins... Let's just face it, we like to hurt people. It's hard to answer moral questions, because really we don't want to face how sick and twisted we are.

[@jessebananasaurus1526]

@@EveryThingGirl238 (Pssst, Dennis' point was that commentary from fictional sources on complex and horrifying real-life issues should not be used as reasons to be for or against them, especially by a prominant political figure)

[@bryanekers3472]

The upshot of that episode wasn't that torture would get Picard to reveal actual information, but to break him enough that he would say two plus two is five, and it almost did. That might appear to be a useful result to a dictatorial regime determined to destroy individual thought; a bit less so when to comes to planning actual military strategy.

[@Nebukanezzer]

I think the most effective possible method would be to be convinced that the horrible torture exists, be told it's happening to all your comrades, then be treated kindly and with empathy and respect. Absolutely destroy their image of us as evil in a radical way and get the right answers. Hell, get them to WANT to give you the right answers.

[@Gaius__]

@@Nebukanezzer Don't quit your day job 🙂

[@neaorin]

"I am not a torturer. Though, it so often is what people deserve. And it does provide answers... but they're usually the wrong answers. My job is to find the right answers. Do you know how I do that? I do it by making people happy. I'd like to make you happy." -- Lord Varys, Game of Thrones, season 6 If any other SCOTUS justice absolutely has to quote a TV show in relation to torture, then at least quote the show that GOT IT RIGHT.

[@highsun76]

If only that supreme court justice could quote this instead that bs

[@Thenoobestgirl]

That's exactly the example I thought of when he started talking about Jack Cloonan. The promise of a reward is always more effective in getting positive cooperation than the retraction of punishment. It is literally the basis of classical conditioning!

[@thek2despot426]

@@Thenoobestgirl This is operant conditioning, but yes you're right.

[@natesmodelsdoodles5403]

@@Thenoobestgirl It's an old idea, and it works. Seriously, it's so old that it was in The Art of War.

[@abtsjwih6947]

I can quote a show with torture “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[@Zman9042]

"Recruiting black muslims in Montana". I heard that and immediately laughed. Then they showed it was a lie and I was on the floor laughing

[@pedroanoka781]

A person that is being tortured doesn't necessarily give more reliable information, he will say anything that sounds believable, whatever the torturer wants to hear as the best way to get them to stop.

[@mandickthetittysmithy5117]

+Owen But how would you know if they are lieing or telling the truth.

[@Gongasoso]

Elfan Waltz Actually, not stopping the pain until proven true seems better.

[@backtothebooks9201]

You don't, so you have to follow up on the lead anyway, and waste time and resources on the word of a person delirious with panic and pain, whose only interest at that moment was making it stop as soon as possible. That's why torture doesn't work, you don't have a person with their brain engaged, so they don't have the facility to give you limited pieces of information worth having. They'll just say whatever they can think of that won't get you to question further.

[@hazukichanx408]

Just so, yes. Hmm... one would think we, the human race in general, would have learned these kinds of lessons by now... but at least we're starting to catch on.

[@JesseTheGameDev]

Telling the truth requires very little brain activity actually. Coming up with a creative lie is WAY more involved. If they only "just wanted it to stop" seriously, then they would just tell the truth. They don't want to betray their cause.

[@thesheepthatwentmooo]

"Two Guys, a Girl and a Black Site Prison". MTV is taking notes.

[@thesheepthatwentmooo]

Stop giving them ideas, John!

[@paulfinch7925]

thesheepthatwentmooo I love your videos sheep!

[@adeena6]

thesheepthatwentmooo More like TLC.

[@PierzStyx]

adeena6 More like Lifetime.

[@RezoJaco]

giggi4455 Because a person will admit to anything to make it stop, regardless whether they are guilty or not. They will make up anything and tell the torturers whatever they want to hear, regardless whether it's true or not.

[@grumpyoldmaninadodgecharge784]

“Nothing more American than a drunk man jumping into a Christmas tree” is an ironic turn of phrase since Kiefer Sutherland is Canadian.

[@gordonb604]

I was wondering if anyone was going to point this out. Thanks!

[@renrutmat]

Canada is part of north America. Ergo Kiefer Sutherland is an American. Also includes Mexico. And what about those who live in south America who are also Americans.

[@grumpyoldmaninadodgecharge784]

@@renrutmat With all due respect, I disagree. In the context of the video he is talking about specifically the United States, not about North America. And also, worldwide the term “American” refers specifically to a person from the United States, not the continent of North America. So while I appreciate your semantics, that doesn’t apply in this case.

[@redbuck1385]

Nothing more american than Canadians.

[@totallynameless8861]

So maybe movies and television could try resolving conflicts _without_ violence? Because apparently the things we see and hear actually do impact us, because that's the entire point of sight and hearing, to provide information to impact your decision making.

[@DoctorWhoKage]

Doctor Who does that. There's a TV show called Doctor Who with a main character who's simply named "The Doctor". He/she (it's complicated) solves most of his/her conflicts with words, and when he/she can't use words, he/she out smarts his/her opponent to drive them away.

[@potaterjim]

I would kinda like to see a movie about one of those pro-violence 80's action heroes kind of having to come to terms with the fact that he participated in making the world a worse place, and that all those "bleeding heart PC whiners" had good points. It's not completely one sided drivel, it points out that he did what he felt he had to, and had good reason to. Like the lorax, it shouldn't pitch an absolute answer to a complex question: It should be ambiguous, and show both sides of the equation, and only encourage the viewer to think about the question themselves, and in the end, it's never made clear whether our hero regrets what he's done or not.

[@That_One_Fae]

Star Trek next gen does an amazing job of this!

[@havable]

@@potaterjim I can't remember for sure but it seems like The Last Action Hero at least touched on that idea.

[@SWHalo2]

Christmas Tree: "Thank you Boss!" Tree Morale +1

[@TheASSASSIN51]

+Man 0 all Js freaking epic Made my day

[@gergelysimko9614]

Your profile is amazing :)

[@Oddi0]

Oh yeah, I forgot he voiced Venom Snake.

[@escalade75]

Can I just say how much I adore John Oliver?

[@terraventusaqua123]

escalade75 You may not! Delete that comment right now!!

[@Alex2Buzz]

Robert Jay You may not say 'You may not!'! Delete that reply right now!!

[@FoldAPieceOfWater]

escalade75 He's a self-declared comedian, not a journalist. He does great work, but take his content with a pinch of salt. If he tells you to do something, as he often has, you should do some own research. He _could_ be dishonest about something to follow his own agenda, and ask people to do something and I bet many would do exactly that, because they trust someone they don't even know. I don't have the impression he's being ill-willed, quite the opposite, but even his opinion is not the be-all and end-all.

[@melissaknive3494]

FoldAPieceOfWater Other than the fact that Kiefer Sutherland is Canadian, this is evidence-based and a pretty good stab at the truth :)

[@FoldAPieceOfWater]

***** That's fair enough. But I've seen his praise far exceed beyond the comedic level. I interpreted your comment incorrectly, sorry.

[@kivilife]

"Sadly torture is not just something that happens to Mel Gibson" lol man, writers on this show combined with John's deliveries are just pure perfection!

[@Lilas.Duveteux]

Also, one must note that many torture technique work by directly harming the nervous system (water cure and electrical torture) which may cause trouble with thinking, coordination or perceiving sensory information, which basically means one tries to find information from someone they rendered unable to find the door nob to escape.

[@bangboom123]

It always surprises me that people think torture is a workable solution. You've got a person who, on the one hand is committed to undermining the people torturing him- reinforced by the simple fact of their using *torture*, and on the other is told to give information to make the torture stop. OF COURSE anyone being tortured would lie to the high heavens, it's the most logical solution from their perspective. And that's assuming they're guilty to begin with, and assuming they are capable of thinking clearly when they're being terrified with intense pain.

[@cyanit42]

Rockerchavnerdemo Yeah I mean only because during history alot of women were burned for being witches doesn't mean that they actually were witches. If you are tortured long enough you will confess ANYTHING just to make it stop. And having people in power argue that it works because it "worked on the TV show 24" only shows that you have a problem that is rooted deeper in society.

[@fy8798]

cyanit42 Yeah, seriously. That a TV series gets used to justify torture by a SCOTUS judge is extremely chilling.

[@julesc.4403]

Rockerchavnerdemo some destitute People admit they're guilty of crimes because they can't pay a bail and don't want to end in prison, I mean, how much stuff anyone would say?

[@GrahamCStrouse]

Rockerchavnerdemo Well, yes. One of the main objections to torture by people in the intelligence business is that it rarely provides reliable intelligence. It's cruel AND it doesn't work.

[@waltereg0]

Graham Strouse Yeah, we wouldn't want to be cruel to islamic terrorists, that would be just awful.

[@Andrew-bb7ci]

Back then Donald trump wasn't a candidate. I remember the good days.

[@TheRiku57]

Like when Sarah Palin was the scariest Republican? Ah......

[@chriskirkwood9385]

And now Trump is president...

[@DarkeCrimson]

Not yet, dammit. *sigh* but soon.

[@gFamWeb]

Squad Reacts well Obama vetoed that bill he was talking about so...

[@quandovoceleroscomentarios9622]

Used to be so happy

[@someonesomewhere6346]

Wouldn’t that be against one of our amendments of cruel and unusual punishments?

[@kayeka4123]

American laws apply only on American soil, and army guidelines only apply to members of the US fighting forces. So if they pay mercenaries to torture people outside of the United States, it is all A-OK.

[@joshuapenner2164]

​@@kayeka4123 I don't know if it does but I feel any american soldier/personel operating overseas should be held accountable to the us constitution and us laws

[@Dan-kr9bm]

09:36 "The application of enhanced interrogation techniques [...] is what really persuaded him he needed to cooperate." Thats literally a Nazi-level euphemism to describe torture.

[@420mralucard]

Which is funny considering a Nazi, Hanns Scharff, was one of the people that made modern torture techniques like the ones Cloonan used.

[@isaacleillhikar4566]

A coy girl persuading against torture. That should be in a movie.

[@tylerwright3207]

As German, when I think of the US, I think about the nation that says it embodies freedom but is the complete opposite.

[@dyutibasu4541]

In university, for a cultural studies class that consisted of the voyeuristic gaze of the camera, we actually studied about how US officials torture prisoners in Gitmo and take photos of the torture. It was truly horrifying, but apparently such a well known fact that we could study it for our masters papers

[@noahgray543]

@@420mralucard wut? Hanns was famous because he never actually used physical means to extract information. He never tortured anyone at all. He misled people into thinking he knew more than he actually did and threatened that if he couldn't get some information they might end up with the Gestapo, but he was well known for just being extremely personable and friendly. The guy would get you to spill your secrets over lunch with a beer and a cigarette as part of some amusing story and you'd leave never even realizing how much he'd learned from you. Dude was a genius, and also, a mosaic artist who never received formal training in interrogation.

[@johnryan6019]

Man I was all hyped after the Bethesda conference and now I have to watch this downer stuff. Still, thank you John Oliver for being awesome.

[@Confirmed866]

XD I feel you bro

[@Rusted_]

Atleast we still get fallout 4 in few months

[@Tormentality]

John Ryan excuse my ignorance, but I'm curious what the Bethesda conference is?

[@SlunkyBoi]

John Ryan Literally said the same thing when I saw this was out. FALLOUT 4 IS GONNA BE INSANE But seriously torture is terrible, and if people don't listen to John Fucking McCain (a firsthand expert on torture) when he says it's bad, idk what the fucks wrong with Congress.

[@minervaalexia6074]

John Ryan Downer it may be, but he always makes it entertaining at the same time. I really admire the way he's found to give people information without boring them.

[@IronChuck]

"There is nothing more American than a drunk man jumping into a Christmas tree." Especially when he's Canadian.

[@DestructiveFlames]

Charlie Irons Canada is in America, so he's still American.

[@camreddish1fan202]

+RedFire, that's like saying "Brazillians are americans because they're from South America."

[@DestructiveFlames]

Qbomb Warner Yeah, it is like saying that, because it's true.

[@cg-zk6dk]

RedFire canada is its own country and even though the continent is north america they are still refereed to as Canadians since american usually implies you are a citizen of the U.S.A

[@DestructiveFlames]

christian g It doesn't matter what they're usually referred to as. They are still officially American, and so is every country on the American continent.

[@showandtell1313]

'our president mr obama' its 2020 and hearing that still makes me sad. miss him

[@UwU69792]

I miss Donald Trump. He was the best president we ever hade.

[@showandtell1313]

figures. ya cant even spell right.

[@UwU69792]

@@showandtell1313 hi angel dust how are things going on

[@UwU69792]

@@showandtell1313 I'm a big fan of yours UwU

[@jwanbesande2734]

You know a president's bad when he makes you miss Obama

[@greyforge27]

Tonight's episode of Game of Thrones was torture

[@Munich22100]

Agreed that was horrifying.

[@bat32391]

Munich22100 Unless the red witch does the resurrection magic on you know who. I want the Nights King to whoop everyone's ass.

[@darksteel78]

Nori Takei Do you mean this season (which is over) or next season (which no one knows what will happen)?

[@bat32391]

***** Woah when you say reborn in Ice do you mean he could become one of the White Walkers? Because that would be fucking awesome.

[@Xmasforever1]

bat32391 you know who?Is Voldemort going to be in game of thrones??well,that's a plot twist...

[@JohnDoe-nq4du]

Where can I get a copy of the full Helen Mirren audio book of that report?

[@AbsentWithoutLeaving]

Can we get her to read the Mueller report, too?

[@prestonjones1653]

Torture is like a toaster, if it doesn't work you don't keep using it.

[@bluegenes2273]

Pffft. We're talkin' _'murican toasters_ here, you savage. Also, "'murican toaster" is now the working title of my new... something.

[@adammichna5175]

Well, the toaster metaphor does not work that well. A toaster can be repaired.

[@idenree8606]

Except it does , john Oliver and who ever else wrote the script is taking examples only from 2001 until today and only by the US and only tortures that are preformed on US lands . I don't know what you think but it sounds very nitpicky for me .

[@joshuapenner2164]

*should be like

[@Scorch428]

Torture should not be allowed, for any reason. Its inhumane.

[@DGzCarbon]

To be fair the terrorist aren't humans.

[@user-yv3ot5jj1p]

@@DGzCarbon To be fair, yes they are. They're terrible but still humans.

[@hansbass8119]

@@DGzCarbon when you degrade and abuse other people who, as you said, "aren't human", this makes you LESS than "aren't human".

[@DGzCarbon]

@@hansbass8119 if you think its worse to talk shit about terrorist than to actually be one you're very misguided.

[@idalizette3150]

@@DGzCarbon but lots of people in Guantanamo aren't actually terrorists.

[@lamborger]

"The purpose of torture is not to get information, it is about spreading fear." ~Eduardo Galeano

[@S0RGEx]

I fucking hate the term "advanced interrogation" or "enhanced interrogation" or whatever they feel like calling it, it's fucking torture! Say it! I'm not one of those "Political correctness is ruining our society" assholes, but there's a difference between properness and euphemisms. If a terrorist does it, it's torture. If an American does it, it's just interrogation. Of course, as long as it's still used by the government that won't go away, but it makes me angry, both that they try to dress it up with flowery language to make it better, and that people are dumb enough to believe it.

[@tSp289]

+The Sorge There's political correctness, and then there's Newspeak. They're on different levels.

[@OhMyLawdProductions]

Yes my brother! Finally someone says it!

[@OhMyLawdProductions]

True

[@dahliamazing]

The term you're looking for is doublespeak, which is a form of euphemism. It has nothing to do with political correctness, but it does have everything to do with politics.

[@S0RGEx]

I couldn't remember the word for it at the time, thanks

[@mbstar_35]

“Let me help you find your exit strategy, to give you a life,” hits hard

[@125steini]

"Recruit black muslim convertists in Montana" LMAO Can't believe they fell for it.

[@trypptrapp266]

Right?! Tell them to let me know when they find one, I've been looking myself.

[@ultimatehawkeyefangirl]

This is late, but this is also the government, that when figuring out that gays in the military used the phrase "Friends of Dorothy," as a code, they thought there was a woman named Dorothy who knew all of the gays, when it was actually a reference to The Wizard of Oz.

[@Flame1611]

@@ultimatehawkeyefangirl Ah yes, the all knowing Dorothy. She decides if you're gay and so she knows all gays. All praise Dorothy.

[@aliciadavis1505]

LMFAO Right cause there's like 50 and I was born and raised there and related to 6 of them really WTF

[@ramseyremedy3805]

fucking casuals xD

[@JeanLucPicard85]

So where can I get that audio book?

[@LGD3]

Tell me Picard; how many lights do you see?

[@Infernal460]

***** Does that include the lights behind and to the side of you Gul.

[@joshholloway7254]

Sorry, I fell asleep during the audio book... what did Dame Helen Mirren say?

[@joshholloway7254]

L6915 Ok. I already knew that, so I guess I didn't really miss anything.

[@ChimeraReiax]

"All 14 declared candidates" Ah yes, back when a certain someone wasn't on that list...

[@jeremylahr7034]

That's exactly what I was thinking 😭😭😭

[@thatclassclown7587]

I was looking for him-

[@AgentAika001]

I will never live down that someone like Antonin Scalia was on our Supreme Court and that half of this country thinks he's had a brilliant judicial mind

[@havable]

They were told that lie often enough

[@jacktowers7533]

24's torture scenes were a deliberate attempt to shape public opinion that torture is justified to get results

[@DylanisHere04]

Yup, nothing more American than a Canadian man jumping into a Christmas tree

[@Sleepy_Kitsune]

its true, there is nothing more american then claiming someones an american cause they did something stupid while drunk im canadian btw

[@DylanisHere04]

SleepyKitsune So am I lol

[@Penguin_of_Death]

He was born in England lol :D

[@mattissilverbern7791]

While Italian opera plays in the background

[@manuellinares5926]

@@mattissilverbern7791 "that would explain everything"

[@AC_Blanco]

That Interrogator is world class Professional. Negotiation skill level is insane! Body Language, Tone of voice, syntax is excellent.

[@Viking_Luchador]

six months before this episode aired, when draft-dodger Dick Cheney claimed waterboarding wasn't torture, Vietnam vet Jesse Ventura -- who actually *was* waterboarded as part of his Special Forces S.E.R.E. training ("Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape") -- said "You let me waterboard Dick Cheney for an hour, and I'll have him confessing to Sharon Tate's murder"

[@mamtapandey5402]

That means torture works !

[@havable]

@@mamtapandey5402 No, it means he'd confess to a murder he didn't commit just to get the torture to stop.

[@glyphin343]

up until 8th grade I thought waterboarding was a lake sport.

[@devingendron2287]

My AP Government Textbook once, in a discussion on questions of balancing rights against security, that "Even the strongest opponent of torture has to admit that it is sometimes necessary." That pissed me off quite severely. No, I do not have to admit that. No I do not admit it. It is wrong. Torture is morally reprehensible, Torture is always morally reprehensible, and it always has been morally reprehensible. There are no special circumstances, there are no conditions, IT IS WRONG. It is a direct violation of multiple international statutes, and of the United States Constitution. And it doesn't even work, because someone being tortured will say anything, true or not, in order to stop being tortured. Torture is wrong, no ifs ands or buts, period, full stop, case closed.

[@EliasBorchert]

Devin Gendron what textbook said that?!

[@EliasBorchert]

That's horrible!

[@devingendron2287]

More or less my teacher (a new AP Gov teacher using the standard school book)'s reaction, after I said more or less what I did in this comment. Unfortunately, I don't remember the specific textbook, Else I'd put a negative review wherever I could.

[@sylviastanell2043]

Devin Gendron I'll be honest, I read it as "AP Geometry textbook" at first, and I was so confused at first.

[@DaDunge]

If torture worked I would quite agree with them but what is torture supposedly necessary for? The only thing is is good for is when you have already decided what a person is guilty of and wants them to confess that crime regardless if it is true or not. And right me if I'm wrong but when it that ever necessary?

[@sanderkiller999]

People who think torture is a solution, are the one's who would give in if they got tortured and just guess a terrorist would too. But a terrorist won't think the same way like a person with a normal peaceful life. They know what they are starting and what will happen when captured.

[@lordneo256]

talesin- god of the internet Have you... considered that their goal might be a bit different. US apparantly thinks it is justified to torture to gain information. Which here is proven does not work. Terrorist probably torture for the scare effect. Any information given is a bonus. The rest is just pure terror. Kind of is in the name isn't it?

Neo256 you see two edited excerpts from a multithousand page document presented by two of the most leftist media outlets in this country- MSNBC and PBS- and conclude that torture does not work so why has it been such an effective means of gaining information for thousands of years? why would they care about scaring people they already have in prison? what does that benefit them?

[@neeneko]

Neo256 It is kinda sad that the terrorists are the ones being honest. torture is a potent political weapon, but pretending it is useful for intelligence gathering is just a way to market it to the american public.

[@aserta]

talesin- god of the internet Considering your user name i'm not even going to bother "debating" this topic. I'll just say that it is against the law and the human rights conventions. Therefore all involved from the top to the bottom of that food chain should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity. Just as we did with the nazis back in the aftermath of the second world war. But i guess US is exempt as the "fourth reich"?? After all, they are following all the rules of the "book". Hitler would be proud, heck i bet he's shedding a tear from hell.

[@lordneo256]

talesin- god of the internet Because you have totally legit reports that show it is an effective way to get information? And when you are at it, try to get an argument that works first hand. Why would someone, that has been caught fighting for what he believes in, convinced he will either be killed or die in the prison, care what happens to them as when they do cooperate they betray what they believe in. They might as well kill his whole family or other relatives when they find out that he ratted. So... I can not think of a single reason why a pained human being would disclose any valuable information over his captures. It is said that psychological techniques that simply use the human nature are far more effective. Here try this: www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/12/the-humane-interrogation-technique-that-works-much-better-than-torture/383698/

[@billyleask]

'Advanced interrogation' As though we haven't literally pulled it from medieval history and put our own spin on it.

[@KurtisC93]

"Rectally infused" is one of the most legitimately horrifying phrases I have ever had the misfortune to come across.

[@anthonylong9067]

Torture is cruel and unusual punishment. It's illegal. It's unconstitutional.

[@erikjohansson4275]

***** no, it's *MURICAN'!!!*

[@anthonylong9067]

Eric Johansson that's what i meant. There's 2 types of yanks here. the Americans like myself and the 'Muricans like every racist bigoted southerner ever

[@easyreadingforlisteners8757]

+Anthony Long I'm an American, Southern, and not racist. So please refrain from stereotyping all southerners as racist. It's offensive.

[@anthonylong9067]

EasyReadingforListeners if you arent a racist bigoted southerner then that comment doesnt apply to you.

[@carrieberry8846]

+Anthony Long yes, it is, and we were always proud of the fact we didn't torture...now I see teabaggers who still defend it. A sorry legacy.

[@jaromirdeswart7505]

I really want the full Helen Mirren audio book though.

[@beenaplumber8379]

Seriously, I'd like to know if it's available for download.

[@henbane2247]

She sounds great

[@1andonlyzara]

Anyone know where we can get it?

[@mapelberg]

I would also really want to hear it.

[@macaylac9829]

there’s a really good movie with Adam Driver about this called The Report!!

[@schattentaenzerin]

Don't mention Adam Driver to John. You know how it will escalate :D

[@evanlilley8986]

“Nothing more American than a drunk man jumping into a Christmas tree”. Classic Oliver.

[@fatimatariq4350]

I'm sure you would lie and say whatever the hell you need to say if you're being water boarded or worse. Torture is not reliable. It makes people say what needs to be said to make the pain stop.

[@ishmaelm1932]

You are gorgeous

[@adarshsathian2862]

Let me ask you one thing. If the CIA arrests you suddenly and took you for an interrogation and they rape you, violate each and every part of your body, torture you, mentally harass you and ask you about the plans, the terrorists are now making despite you are an innocent person. What information can you give?

[@kathrynslade3118]

Fake information based off of the questions they're asking.

[@scottcarlass8887]

Not only do they violate your pinky toes, but also your English grammar. Oh GOD NOOOO!

[@bobwalsh3751]

NO SHIT!

[@dralberthofmann]

I read several sections. It's horrifying. Our country did horrific things.

[@desertfoxcartoon]

Certain individuals from our country did horrible things and they should be punished for it, this is not representative of America.

[@amab2977]

yes,yes it is.

[@andreww9726]

+Josie Lee I'd imagine a lot of the 57% don't know everything they do though

[@Tamaki742]

Sadly, in a world where people just eats up every fact as face value, they'd just cling to those facts an apply it to the general populace. That's why stereotypes exist.

[@_valor]

*does, honey

[@MuggsMcGinnis]

Where can we find the recording of Helen Mirren reading the Senate Torture Report?

[@JamesRichardWiley]

If torture is OK for Americans to use on our enemies then torture is OK for our enemies to use on Americans. The current laws against torture are worthless because those who engage in torture are not prosecuted.

[@MSCCA]

Civilized people do not support torture

[@xjlmt]

MSCCAravetta But Americans do!

[@garrett21]

That's not even remotely true

[@niveshproag8660]

garrettthurman21 What part of stuffing food up a man's asshole is civilised. Or suffocating him. Or tying him up and leaving him for death.

[@xjlmt]

garrettthurman21 Garrett-less-than-human is just like Dickless Cheney.

[@14Schofield]

MSCCAravetta I'm sorry, but what is civilized? I don't support torture but I'm not going to say I'm more civilized than somebody who might. I don't think I'm arrogant enough to say that because I probably have beliefs that others might find 'uncivilized'.

[@Ryknight2]

John Oliver - 1 Antonin Scalia - 0

[@SLEnergy-zl7cw]

;)

[@AuraMaster7]

Probably because Scalia is dead.

[@malea545]

+AuraMaster no I think its because he was a douche

[@andrewroy9263]

+Ryknight2 How many lives they are currently living?

[@twudotJam]

John Oliver - 3 million Everyone else - 3 and a half

[@elliottylermusic]

John Oliver never fails to be honest about what goes on in this messed up world and make me laugh about it. I honestly don’t know how he does it, considering how scary the stuff he talks about actually is. Keep doing what you’re doing, John.

[@SJTannenbaum]

im weirdly obsessed with John Oliver's teeth when he smiles. anyone else feel that?

[@trypptrapp266]

I find it interesting. He has very British teeth.

[@ramseyremedy3805]

honestly, yea

[@PeterK1984]

It's sad that he did not get Kiefer Sutherland to make an appearance on the subject. What could possibly have been better than Jack Bauer himself screaming "Torture does not work, goddamit!" at the audience? Kiefer Sutherland is opposed to torture and has said so several times in interviews.

[@codyjolley6565]

They should have ocelot talk about his "private time" with Huey.

[@axel995r]

+PeterK1984 There is actually one spy TV show where the main character says that multiple times, and also where torture is used only by bad guys...it's called Burn Notice, they actually call bullshit on that theory and say that torture doesn't work cause the person will just tell you any bullshit to stop the pain...

[@PeterK1984]

Aleksa Ristic I know Burn notice. I loved that show. But it is another good example of the time tested fact that NOTHING should run for more than 5 seasons.

[@axel995r]

Yup amen to that, after season 5 it just went downhill...

[@celticwolff5429]

Helen Mirren has been hot for longer than most Victoria's Secrets have been alive.

[@cremetangerine82]

celticwolff Exactly! kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3araGaJf9ughLs

[@beenaplumber8379]

Anyone know if her audio version of the report "summary" is available for download?

[@danielstewart7163]

@Toori Baba dump is cruel and unusual punishment.

[@henbane2247]

She's got a lovely voice. I would listen to her reading me that book.

[@mikesanders8621]

She's Helen Mirren, and she'll still be hot when we're all dead.

[@Gypsy-Tongue]

Kiefer Sunderland ramming into a Christmas tree is just as awesome as his role as President in designated survivor

[@noahgray543]

The thing about torture is that even the Nazis mostly knew it didn't work. Their best interrogator, a man named Hans Scharff (probably butchered my spelling there), was famous for never using physical means to get information and even more famous for being *well liked* by captured allied soldiers. Fun fact: he went on to be a mosaic artist.

[@keiyakins]

I want a full set of her reading Beatrix Potter. I would legitimately snuggle up in my bed and put it on, can you imagine how soothing that would be?

[@sindrealight5182]

You would think knowledge of the witch trials would give some amount of insight to the reliability of torture right? Or is that not mentioned in world history class these days.

[@uegvdczuVF]

+Sindrea Light Good analogy. But bear in mind that you are referring to the people half of which don't believe in Big bang. So as far as they are concerned most if not all of the men and women tortured and burned were witches who cursed people, had sex with Satan and deserved what they got... I mean they did admit to doing those things, right?

[@justalostlocal]

Kinda 0FiNCE1VE Have you watched the video? Firstly torture is not effective. He even showed some fucking examples and CIA published a report. Futhermore if you are tortured to admit a crime you didn't do, you'll likely lie just to make the pain stop.

[@q345ify]

It should also be noted that torture wasn't considered admissible in the vast majority of the Inquisition's heresy trials without corroboration because they knew its reliability was dubious at best- so congratulations CIA, you had lower standards of proof than Medieval European witch hunters

[@hazukichanx408]

+tbarry12 - And those medieval witch hunter guys had way cooler hats, too. The CIA needs to up their game. (and dial down the atrocities while they're at it)

[@jamieyoung9479]

one word. america.

[@popopop984]

Didn’t they prove that torture is basically useless

[@frederikhyrup2871]

Its usefull for probaganda. Politics and even religion. But not intelligence.

[@potaterjim]

@@frederikhyrup2871 Even worse, it's useful in those ways _to the other side_ "Look at our enemy, he tortures people!" "I mean, not _all_ the time!"

[@frederikhyrup2871]

@@potaterjim Agreed. Btw did you feel that FBI fella mindfuck you? He scared the piss out of me.

[@matthewmuir8884]

Many governments have known that torture doesn't work since at least the 1700s.

[@idenree8606]

When tf did they prove that ?

[@peanutmoose9591]

It's so weird seeing him on an actual TV set

[@musicauthority674]

Helen Mearen saying rectally infused, has got to be the scariest way I've heard those words used.

[@atomhearts]

People are willing to admit anything when being tortured. They do it just to make it stop. And I thought our country was better than this. I guess not. And people are disgusting for trying to sugar coat what they're doing to those poor people.

[@filipe5722]

+Sam Nee The problem is that they are not poor people, they are suspects of terrorism and people in the US want, above all, let's be franks, revenge for 9/11, not possible information on counter-terrorism.

[@raymondbenjamins5884]

+Filipe Barroso Exactly, "suspects." In this video there is even an example of an innocent person that died because he was tortured. And wanting revenge for 9/11 is nothing better then what the terrorists are doing.

[@filipe5722]

Raymond Benjamins Yes, I know. I wasn't defending the use of torture. I just wanted to highlight the fact the people use the national security as an excuse to justify revenge, either against those we know are guilty or just against those who are just suspects. I don't defend, by any means the use of torture, I want that to be clear.

[@johnv5129]

+Expending Iraq and syria are torturing all the time but they still get a shit ton of attacks

[@mohammadfahad3385]

+Expending , you do know that bees and wasps (fucking literally) killed more people in america than the fucking so called islamic extremeists since 2002, don't you?

[@HansCarterFilms]

Helen Mirren should narrate anything that has ever been written. - Carter

[@tinaellz3890]

Hans & Carter Like what?

[@acurabrown7769]

TinaEllz a book

[@Abyssal86]

TinaEllz I don't even care, she could read the back of a cereal box for hours and I'd still listen.

[@terraventusaqua123]

TinaEllz I'd read Twilight or 50 Shades to her voice! That's how soothing she is!

[@gentlecatalyst4634]

When you gaze into the abyss... The abyss gazes into you.

[@ivys1991]

Think about it: if you were being tortured to share something that you knew nothing about, wouldn't you make something up to make it stop?

[@enzmondo]

"Sadly, torture is not just something that happens to Mel Gibson."

[@guillepankeke2844]

Worry not public, apparently he kind of likes it.

[@MsStormcrow]

I really liked 24, but I also realize it's completely unrealistic. Torture is not a effective way to get information.

[@long25714]

no shit, when youre pumping water into someones ass, theyll sing like a bird and tell you w/e you want to here. therefore, unreliable

[@eagle3676]

+long25714 Like that second guy who told about a black recruiter in Montana

[@hirokokueh3541]

just like tentacle porn, it's good, but you know it's nor real

[@CRASHjester]

Hiroko Kaku Actually, while the torture IS REAL, it's simply ineffective. There is no actual data on whether torture is effective or not, simply because attempting to conduct such a study is a crime against humanity, and warrants a sanction from the United Nations. I am appalled that the US government tortures any and all suspected terrorists without doing so much as a fucking background check. And the worst part is, our government has done the basic equivalent of sitting on a lawn chair outside in a trailer park, drinking Miller Lite and watching crappy reality TV: nothing at all.

[@requix11]

Lori Burnip yeah it is! If I came to you, tied you up and took one tooth out for every ten seconds of no info, you'd talk. No one's that tough

[@ruchpat1]

"An ill-tempered bull frog in a robe" RIP Scalia

[@sinchanpathak5688]

John Oliver, I trust the information you show.

[@legorigplaysmc]

They played us like a damn fiddle!

[@wilsonrono10]

Kaz, I need exfil.

[@legorigplaysmc]

Wilson Roño Pequod approaching LZ.

[@wilsonrono10]

Goddamit, Kaz. 5 days too late! XD

[@legorigplaysmc]

Wilson Roño Kept you waiting huh.

[@bobey29]

You're pretty good.

[@alvaroampudia4382]

13:57 ahh.... those old times when trump wasn't even a candidate..... good times, good times....

[@harbindersinghbarry3667]

What would you expect especially when the person doesn’t know anything and to avoid as much pain as possible they will , lie and make up false stories to please the interrogator . That should be fairly obvious !

[@potaterjim]

I mean hell, a couple rounds of water boarding and I'll tell you the secret location of DB Coopers treasure.

[@nicolesamoylovich3240]

that awkward moment when you're eating hummus while watching this...

[@Damnhippies546]

Oh so they DO come out at exactly 2:30 am

[@kevinbevin2]

Joey Bullis I've been dying to figure this out too.

[@Papermate123]

Joey Bullis I got here at 2:41 am so I can't confirm this at the moment, but I will be back to check this theory out next time around.

[@zach4198]

Joey Bullis They do come out about 2:30 AM. I started watching it 9 minutes after it came out and it was 2:39 AM

[@F3tcher]

That depends on your time zone

[@lizzybennet5726]

Joey Bullis 2:30am ET, everyone else can figure out the rest, according to your own time zone.

[@red_crow_studios3176]

John Oliver: the only guy who makes me laugh about the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.

[@totsmini3105]

Blessing to a GREAT Comedian/Reporter/Journalist!!!!! ~ THANK You for Your Service!!

[@bartekl7529]

Torture in one sentence: Not being able to watch John Oliver.

[@heiwiik8744]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[@jimmythebuddhistbee8786]

7:52 "you probably don't think if can shove this down your throat but trust me i can" rapisty torture scene ever

[@SLEnergy-zl7cw]

Damn

[@TheSpecialJ11]

Just close your eyes, and it's so much better.

[@MrJagdepplin]

"That would explain everything."

[@whensomethingcriesagain]

Being said by Kiefer Sutherland, no less

[@Onigirli]

Yup, until Sicario stole that scene but without mere implication (great movie, showed it to my yaas queen friends but they just thought that scene implied they were gay lovers)

[@happyelephant5384]

As a foreigner learning English thanks to English language videos in KZbin, I'm really happy i do not know what some words here really mean :))

[@codeffeine]

How innocent we were back then, when we thought that one of the candidates he presented on the show, would end up becoming 45.

[@soulrenvods]

I like how you can hear what sounds like a wounded scream after he insults budlight lime.