Guantánamo: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

[@benjones2414]

I love how John Oliver's Russian accent slowly morphs into german before crashing into glasgow

[@karebushmarebu233]

A dinny hear nae weegie in his accent

[@Lopnawe]

#ScotSquad

[@sarahamira5732]

@Gamer Man he was speaking in a Russian accent for a joke in the video...

[@trentpettit6336]

Actually his Russian accent morphs into German before exploding over Lockerbie...

[@henrikl218]

Spot on !

[@randombencounter263]

If you don't know what either phrase means, waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds like an awesome time.

[@HelgaCavoli]

An activity in a prison (regardless) would hardly be called awesome.

[@paradoxacres1063]

Great for all ages.

[@WiseSageBum]

Cue the 70s Surf Music

[@RKroese]

This guy got tortured in gitmo and spilled the word. What's the word? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba... umh-baw-baw-ba-ba-uhm-baw-baw SURFIN' BIRD!!!!!!

[@WiseSageBum]

He was water-boarded and nearly died badly. How badly? He went Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba... umh-baw-baw-ba-ba-uhm-baw-baw Water board!

[@christianmartinez8700]

he always kills it at the end

[@christianmartinez8700]

in a good way

[@fossilfighters101]

+

[@06subhashish]

Escalated quickly at the end...

[@IanOrds]

That's what she said!

[@lesliegallagher9900]

Haypa line dance

[@paulmahoney7619]

When Cheney mentioned keeping people there until our objective is achieved, it raises the question "What is our objective?"

[@schattentaenzerin]

Exactly. Just like the opponent of this so called "War on terror" the goals were never put on the table. On September 14 this year the "Declaration of National Emergency by Reason of Certain Terrorist Attacks" will have it's 20th birthday. I think it's time to check up on this topic.

[@sirius1696]

@@schattentaenzerin more terrorists exist now than in 2004, when the War on Terror started (probably because the US is the greatest state sponsor of terrorism in the world)

[@charlleedodson]

The goal post keeps moving, which makes me realize it’s not about ending terrorism or killing Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Ladin or whatever the new excuse is. It’s all about the money of the Prison Industrial Complex

[@Mikeyprs21]

@@charlleedodson I would not be surprised by this, at all.

[@paulmahoney7619]

@adrish bose hate is easy. Vengeance is easy. Sticking to a standard of behavior with the worst of the worst? That is something to admire.

[@Bokuzen035]

17:20 Damn that's really sad. Imagine spending your entire adult life locked up without a trial because you bought the wrong watch.

[@Vvonter]

Isn't that the beginnings of the Miserables and the Count of Montecristo?

[@EsquilaxM]

les miserables he was actually guilty, i think. though it was a loaf of bread :P

[@martypunker]

In the book, he was guilty of theft and breaking and entering and his sentence kept being extended because he kept trying to escape.

[@EsquilaxM]

martypunker Ah I suspected it was something different in the book :P

[@refragerator]

I was betting this would come up in the show, sadly it didn't -but here's something that might make you feel even worse: DER SPIEGEL (a German weekly magazine) covered a story about a Guantanamo inmate a few months ago. He was (if I remember correctly) an Afghan who was innocent and basically just a super unlucky dude who got himself into this shithole of a so called prison. Last year the US wanted to set him free (after 14 years of imprisonment in Guantanamo) and _on the way to the plane he got too scared of the outside world_. He went back to his prison cell. He's a completely broken man, afraid of the world outside of that prison. He doesn't like being there, but he was too afraid to step out back into the real world. Because of both; what happened to him and that he doesn't know _anything_ about what happened in the world for almost a decade and a half. His whole story was heartbreaking, when I read about it. That, in my opinion, shows how completely fucked up Guantanamo is (although I'm sure it's not the only prison in the world facing something like that). Adding to that the problem that a lof inmates that were released over the last 5 to 6 years apparently can't be send back to their home countries, because they're a) still at war, b) those countries don't want them and c) no-one wants to risk sending them right back to their potential terrorist brethren, these fellows end up somewhere in Europe (e.g. a few were transferred to Balkan states) or god knows where, far from home, without any family, friends or contacts.

[@thegoldmike]

I served at gitmo as a Marine (not in the prison). that place sucks balls.

[@Zabuza3190]

Michael Mangold the fact that it sucks balls and you didn't even serve IN the prison tells a lot

[@theawkwardskeleton6608]

Michael Mangold did the government not learn this is a horrible idea from Alcatraz?

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3*

[@aaaaaaaaz76]

~€===3

[@chrisridge5504]

What do you even do here Fn Tactical?

[@gregknight1989]

Government: detains and tortures 'suspects' for years. 'Suspects': ends up hating America and joins terrorists. Americans: "why do these people hate us?!"

[@fpvx3922]

Yeah, that is what I am saying for years... imagine get your family blown up by a drone and not get justice... the first drone strike of Obama actually hit a wedding of our own allies... and later he boasted how good he was with drone strikes, even though 12 year old bystander kids were labeled as terrorists so they could boast how successful they were in killing terrorists... How can these people stop this? Is it just? Liberty and Justice for all? It is no surprise to me that these people hate America... and as long as you have ignorant Americans who probably never set a foot outside their country not realize that the world is bigger than the USA (they are only 1.2% of landmass :D ) this won`t change sadly. Before the scandal at Abu Graibh there was not much animosity between USA and extremists... sure they kidnapped some people, then they were bought free and that was it... but after how they handled prisoners there they drew all the hate of the middle east on them. Kind of sad actually... I just wish all sides would take a few steps back and especially end this horrible situations like black sites, Guantanamo, Abi Grainh, etc... Bring them before real courts... and let all the innocents (they know they are innocent) go...

[@Pit.Gutzmann]

The way the US talk about art classes at Guantanamo remind me to how the Nazis talked about the cultural events at Theresienstadt.

[@PickyPaige]

Or China with the reeducation camps for Uyghurs.

[@elnorton7113]

@@PickyPaige US concerning about Muslim human rights. US killed innocent Muslims kids, detaining Muslims, threatening Assange, but US is a human right teacher.

[@engagementengagement8836]

@@elnorton7113 that's whataboutism and just because someone criticizes China doesn't mean they think the US is moral.

[@sirius1696]

@@engagementengagement8836 no, but if you believe the US despite not a single Muslim country backing it up and this information being derived from Holocaust denier Adrien Zenz and a survey based on just 8 people from one prefecture then yes, you're assumption here is that the US is a moral actor in this case because there really isn't any independent corroboration. Do you believe that the Iraqi army ripped over 500 babies out of incubators in Kuwait too?

[@engagementengagement8836]

@@sirius1696 I never even mentioned Iraq

[@mikaelskog3326]

If I was locked up for over a decade for no reason, I'd be pretty motivated to get revenge for it.

[@satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185]

Exactly,if a government scooped you up and tortured you for no reason,you'd want to see that country fall for pretty fucking good reason

[@liamwalsh4008]

"You're a danger to this country." "Well, I wasn't when you locked me up, but I sure as shit am now."

[@sihyuanwu5492]

Am I the only one constantly reminded of Suicide Squad when hearing the governors describe the prisoners? 'Suicide' 'worst of the worst' 'bad guys'

[@geekinggrounds2917]

I half expected Amanda Waller to come walking in at some point

[@WeissnichtsVomLeben]

So true

[@ActuatedGear]

What else do you do with them?

[@potionseller2083]

shit movie

[@Beeyo176]

Well...fuck, now you're not.

[@Fragenzeichenplatte]

Just put every American into prison. *Some* (only some) innocent people may be affected but at least there won't be any crime anymore!

[@IkeOkerekeNews]

Wrong.

[@johannschiel6734]

Nice. Actually a way we hould think about.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

What? People oppose that? Well, why would they, there are so many bad guys!

[@Tuchulu]

We're working on it... We have the highest incarceration rate in the world

[@bookdream]

0 crime, 0 drug use, 0 car crash fatalities, 0 mass shootings, why have we never thought of this before??? LETS DO THIS.

[@vivelaresistance3239]

“Theoretical future President Trump.” Ah, simpler times...

[@jedediahjehoshaphat]

XD

[@rhysharris9302]

Good news, past comment

[@agny369]

@@rhysharris9302 and some not so good news also

[@Mehwhatevr]

@@agny369 But wait, it gets better

[@beachmom2001]

Can we put him in gitmo!

[@geniemiki]

I actually meet with a Guantanamo detainee. He's french. He hasn't done shit but he was stupid and unlucky enough to get convinced by his radicalised brother to go on a lovely spiritual trip to Afghanistan...in september of 2001. He stayed there for 6 years. He explained to us how he was tortured and yet never accused of anything. One time he says, some CIA trainees took him for interrogation, gave hime a map of Paris despite him never setting foot in that city and asked him to name the Immams he frequented. So he made up some bullshit names and pointed randomly on the map some Mosques that of course he made out of his ass. The CIA agents went happily to write a report about extremist Immams that don't exist, that preach radical islam in Mosques that were never built, in a country they summerise to litteraly one city. They must have felt so proud.

[@ArgentumEmperio]

@Memestealer696 How do you know he's lying? This may sound unbelievable as well but I swear on my heart it is true; one time here in Sweden, in a small village up north, when on my way back home from a boring party my parents dragged me to... On the highway, I met monks. Monks who wore traditional orange tibetan monk robes... on a journey from the northern part of Sweden to the south. I'd be willing to swear this in front of any jury, take any lie detection tests and do anything to prove it to be true if someone met me in person and asked me to do it. Why? Because as unbelievable as it may sound... it is the truth. We live in a world that consists of more than a house, a backyard and whoever we grew up with. Is either one of our stories very likely? No, but neither is it for a man to dream of going to the moon as a kid and then in his adulthood stand thousands of miles away from Earth, looking into the sky where the moon would be to see Earth instead. Don't call someone a lier just because you haven't experienced it. You got proof, then show it.

[@limari95]

@Memestealer696 i recommend you read 'Bad Men' by Clive Stafford Smith. He's a lawyer who represented many Guantanamo inmates and talks about their stories and the treatment of prisoners there. It was very shocking to read and shows that the situation is actually worse than the picture John Oliver paints here. So I don't know if that story he's telling in the comments is true or not, but it sure sounds a lot like how most of Guantanamo's prisoners ended up there.

[@neihuslim]

@@ArgentumEmperio I believe you about the monks. I have doubts that men went to the moon and came back.

[@davidyang5274]

It's not believable that the CIA didn't even know he never visited paris, that they couldn't even figure out that the name of the Mosques he named are fake. Like a simple google search would show that its fake. Its just so idiotically made up story. Even if he was a CIA trainee, if he was sent to Guantamo Bay he should be way more competent than a detective and even a 10 year old with google can figure out hes lying. Its scary how gullible people are. Both left and rights are full of idiots that will believe anything without a second thought.

[@blixer8384]

​@@davidyang5274"It's not believable that the CIA didn't even know he never visited paris, that they couldn't even figure out that the name of the Mosques he named are fake." Considering the exact same thing happened previously no it's not unbelievable. The US Government went on a wild goose chase looking for radicalized black converts to Islam in Montana. A state where, following a quick google search, only 0.3% of the population are Black. Furthermore the fact that Torture is used at all is a pretty damning indication of how incompetent the CIA is. Even the Spanish Inquisition knew torture was an ineffective means of gaining information.

[@siecheil]

You could waterboard Gandhi continuously and have him tell you what you want to hear. There's a video of some conservative radio host who was supportive of these methods, decided to try it and show people it wasn't torture. They had a guy from the military come out who was a professional and the guy lasted about five seconds and completely renounced everything he ever said.

[@tekbarrier]

Far-right radio host Bryan Fischer has said that something only counts as torture if it causes permanent physical damage. He has repeatedly said that waterboarding isn't torture, and by his logic, emotional and mental torture aren't even things that exist.

[@criskp6861]

Interesting

[@fandomguy8025]

@@tekbarrier Well it does change your brain's wiring but it's hard to say if that's damage or just a natural response.

[@rexablett943]

kende zx - You haven’t quite got that story right lol. You’re referring to Christopher Hitchens, who is by no means a conservative. He also never claimed it wasn’t torture. He wanted to be able to speak w/ authority on the subject so he experienced it for himself. He lasted considerably less than 5 seconds.

[@123balmes]

@@danktonttu8504 (¥n9 'C' s

[@leilacherradi3485]

Now I know why this man has so many viewers. The most intelligent funny US show there is now. In 20 minutes, the man has enlightened you about a whole issue...

[@Quettesh]

The most funny US show presented by British person :D

[@Robbie_S]

The most funny US

[@tomb7088]

He misinforms people in a very humorous way.

[@arianaellis5689]

@@tomb7088 Where is the misinformation in this episode? I am always interested to hear where John Oliver gets things wrong, but when I researched information, the only thing I got are that there were more forms of mistreatment and torture used on the prisoners than John Oliver listed.

[@tomb7088]

@@arianaellis5689 First things first, Obama never accomplished anything other than using an executive order. If you are going to say Obama care then that was a failure of the judicial system. Even if it was just another tax, then it would have had to have been started in the House of Representatives and it was started in the Senate. Gitmo is not "hell's waiting room". It is a freaking resort compared to most prisons all over the world. And it is Constitutional. Until these persons get into the US they do not enjoy Constitutional rights. That is why Gitmo exists. Why doesn't he care about the cost of the massive welfare state. It is ticking along at over 3 Trillion a year right now. Screw the UN, they have a human rights panel that has China, Saudi Arabia and Iran on it from crying out loud. And Pakistan hid Osama Bin Ladin for years, so they can go F themselves. And most of the rest of the countries whining about Gitmo are Muslim countries and many of them support terrorism. At least Mr Oliver called them out for that. What he doesn't mention is that when the US has offered to give countries back their citizens from Gitmo, they freak out and don't want them. And the ones that are released, at least 30% have been caught going back to terrorism. So, That is 3 minutes into the video, and that is the misinformation so far. Oh, and they are not tortured. No more than the average American teenager thinks having their cell phone taken away from them is torture. Or the average American kid thinks its torture seeing all the presents under the tree and having to wait until Christmas morning to open them.

[@miriamwheeler8104]

Seeing people talking about Trump being elected as a joke in the future makes me depressed. edit: love this comment cause since the fucker lost everyone’s replying with how much time he has left. It’s a very cheerful countdown.

[@isaiahharris6497]

me too buddy

[@yasisamiei7555]

I was just about to type something similar then I saw your comment. Yes it is indeed depressing.

[@Maxamillios]

Lol no kidding right?

[@rdubs1705]

What an absolute disaster trump has been.

[@isaacleillhikar4566]

Especially when he had info from the guy who says the kind of stuff John Oliver says happened on the moon for real.

[@omarshah1614]

Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Afghanistan

[@blackcountryme]

Omar Shah prisoner from Afghanistan!!

[@samyen3210]

Lol

[@jeremywarner899]

Instant classic

[@sumairb9978]

Criminally underrated comment right here

[@teja2295]

I didn't know the US was rolling with dementors. Imma go practice my patronus

[@Chadwickyboy]

Guantanamo is Orwell's Ministry of Love.

[@sandiegopete4955]

Our whole criminal justice system is the Miniluv.

[@Al-dp7hw]

It's Friendship Gulag.

[@justarock9553]

Who's Big Brother then?

[@justarock9553]

Who's Big Brother then?

[@buttfucker69]

Is that a joke? Look up the NSA. Look up project prism. Big brother is us.

[@vanessaheine8093]

This man’s beautiful smile after all he suffered is just remarkable.

[@canisxv9869]

I like to think it this way: Even if they are the "bad guys". They are humans and deserve to be treated in dignity and somewhat respect. Forced confessions have been proven countless times to be extremly unreliable.

[@purplebean8989]

You dont treat them with respect because THEY deserve respect, you treat them with respect because YOU are the good person. Upholding and valuing the law means not acting like the criminals.

[@PaperRaines]

@@purplebean8989 couldn't have said it better. When your behaviors are indistinguishable from the criminals you condemn, you should really take a step back and examine what you're doing and why you feel so righteous in doing so

[@saeedvazirian]

@@purplebean8989 you don't decide who deserves what.

[@saeedvazirian]

But they're not the bad guys.

[@MissCaraMint]

@@purplebean8989 I agree. It is to protect ourseves and our loved ones from becoming monsters that we do not condone torture. Remember that those who’s job it would be to carry out these awful things would have to go home to their families and to society at large at the end of the day.

[@anmxl_d]

I wanted to sleep. I wanted to watch John Oliver. Well, fuck sleep I guess

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3*

[@chrisridge5504]

Fn Tactical you know this isn't the Columbine right? Get outta here.

[@emeraldkat2167]

Columbus' holiday isn't observed in every state. I live in one where they decided to get rid of it.

[@chrisridge5504]

Emerald kat I am not in Phoenix because I am visiting Michigan for fall break but I think up there they just changed it to indigenous peoples day.

[@emeraldkat2167]

ChrisRidge Oh wouldn't that be lovely here? They just completely got rid of it here in Colorado... Not that I mind (as I am in agreement with those who say you can't discover a place that has thousands already living there), but it does suck to not have the extra holiday.

[@Tiwack01]

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." -Benjamin Franklin

[@arobiteme]

Funny enough, that Casio watch is also the watch that 90% of Air Force basic trainees buy at their first shopette run 😂

[@alicialps635]

Briana Pierce and in American prisons.

[@seekr6964]

Briana Pierce Are you kidding...? This is like a trilogy of disturbing to me..

[@jareddauer4015]

Same with the Navy hahaha

[@assamurai]

Came to the comments to mention this (the strap on mine from BMT broke or else I'd probably still be wearing it today). It's an insanely popular watch. They still make 3 million of them a year, and the design is 31 years old. It's on military bases for general purchase, you can still find them in Wal-Marts, searching "Casio F-91W" turns up 1.3 million hits on Google (4.4 million without the quotation marks), and an image search can pull up pictures of the watch being worn by people like Obama, Bill Gates and Ryan Gosling wearing them. They're commonly counterfeited in certain parts of the world because the design is instantly recognizable and it's a really tough, cheap and reliable watch. They've been used in terrorism because they have a timer function and they're EVERYWHERE. There are easily tens of millions of them in circulation not even counting the counterfeits. Arrests based on *wearing* an F-91W are absolutely ridiculous. It's like claiming an association to terrorism because somebody's wearing Levi's jeans or ate at a KFC.

[@trypptrapp266]

I used the same watch because I really liked it. Especially the timer function. But I was never arrested/detained because of it. Probably because I'm white.

[@lindaliestman4397]

John Oliver, you truly are a remarkable human being! You have a way of explaining things people need to know. Thank you for all you do.

[@AlwaysHereAndNow]

True dat.

[@sergiorivaslamas]

Excellent SHOW. I love every smart joke that HE makes. I am from latinamerica and the clarity of thinking and awareness of present days of Oliver is remarkable

[@skoony2995]

As someone who was stationed on gitmo we felt the same as that guy said. There was no happiness there, not to mention it was a career killer.

[@jentaro]

"You've got a rock solid case there, Vanilla"

[@ashchoosespikachu]

Vanilla ice literally looks like a Sims character xD

[@ericjourdain892]

He's Max Headroom's son.

[@ieatgremlins]

He does!

[@christopherprescott4221]

The best expose on Gitmo I have ever seen. Well done sir.

[@RadioOppy1]

John Oliver: President Obama Random man: WOOOOOO!

[@dipsers]

He knew what would be coming

[@ultimatehawkeyefangirl]

You found the time traveler

[@BlackEagle352]

it's likely that John will just disappear after that impression.

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3*

[@aaaaaaaaz76]

~€===3

[@LennyLenward]

I like that people are spamming dicks in the comments

[@IanWorris]

True, but can you immagine someone closing him in Guantamo for an impression? That's so medieval. I couldn't immagine something like that there in Russia.

[@blubbl1000]

Or the nice lads from the KGB will make him a "plutonium favored" tea lol...

[@kahukura5154]

"Obama's leaving, and there's still a chance his successor could be this guy" Me: No don't show Trump, don't show Trump, Oh come on, like salt, I mean disinfectant in an open wound (Injected to one).

[@esobelisk3110]

Zaphod Whiskers lmao

[@Karaboo7]

@Zaphod Whiskers Trump has basically condemned hundreds of thousands of Americans to death, I think even if they were a "crybaby" they have every right to be at this horrific state of affairs.

[@luminatron]

@Zaphod Whiskers Yes! Fuck that guy for hating a president that fucks poor people over! MAGA🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸/s

[@aaronsilvera177]

it gets worse.

[@georgenichols7718]

@@Karaboo7 Na he condemned over 500,000 people to date, because of his inactions and lies. Oh and on top of that people storming the capitol because of his months long remarks.

[@aaron1325]

It's not gay if it's on the moon

[@LunaS043]

I too watch the Achievment Hunter

[@DRDOGGE-ep9xg]

well we've got the first true moonpie

[@rabidrabids5348]

You're ruining my childhood by arguing.

[@blackcountryme]

Lol, it's out of this world...

[@brain_apostrophe_t]

In space no one can hear you fuckin

[@benedictschurwanz987]

There are very good reasons for having laws like Innocent Until Proven Guilty and Habeas Corpus (it being illegal to hold a person in prison without charging them with a crime).

[@Flight_of_Icarus]

"One innocent man in jail is better than a guilty man running free" That is Soviet thinking, right there people.

[@hendrik5135]

2,5mio - number of people in jail in the "land of the free", the US - no other country has more.

[@RKroese]

"One innocent man dead is better than a nation destroyed." - Jewish High Priest in the year 32.

[@RKroese]

Basil Ajith Wauw... I want to +100 your comment.

[@ShadowFalcon]

Iconoclasm_ close. It's actually GDR (German Democratic Republic, or East Germany) thinking. I mean literally. The Stasi prison in Berlin, called Hohenschönhausen, was essentially like Gitmo, except with more psychological torture, and less physical.

[@Monmon-fh8zl]

In the Cambodian genocide, they say "Better arrest (and kill) the wrong man rather than set one free".

[@thereilway]

When those in favour of keeping Guantánamo hear the phrase "these people are the worst of the worst", they're focusing far too much on " the worst", and not nearly enough on the "people".

[@MissCaraMint]

I agree. Even the worst people are first and foremost people. What kind of people can we be if we treat our fellow humans like this?

[@DarkKnight-uz3os]

18:15 his Russian accent is funny as hell

[@DarkKnight-uz3os]

that man😂

[@Maryfcp]

Uday Bhasker q

[@kylestubbs8867]

Uday Bhasker I know there's irony there, but can someone explain it to me?

[@Cosmodjinn]

John's response was gold; making them disappear :P

[@NoCokeOnlyIce]

Uday Bhasker it's more Hungarian

[@allisondoak9425]

Cuba can give me those checks if they haven't the room.

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3* *~€===3* *~€===3* *~€===3*

[@bobbiusshadow6985]

cuz not human.......bot acting out the program

[@LatinoHeAt662011]

When an entire nation is afraid of, or worried about a Casio watch, that is when you know it's at rock bottom.

[@BeefPapa]

first world issues. you have absolutely no idea what rock bottom is like.

[@agentindiana3415]

#Firstworldproblems. (I live in the US! Fun right!)

[@blorenz1011]

There is an argument that at least third world countries aren't responsible for creating terrorism.

[@Mach2style]

I wouldn't say an entire nation but, our government and martial staff do quantify it as militant gear now. Literally, you can google it and its a listed item but people shouldn't take it as a joke like you are making it. We should be aware of every possible device or method the enemy utilizes because it will be your or my life on the line when a random attacking occurs.

[@beastmr919]

when a fucking guy say entire nation while it is an army thing then you know this comment is stupid

[@ProfessorOzone]

I said it with Jon Steward and I'll say it with John Oliver and their staff, they are the ones that should be getting Nobel prizes!

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

It's kind of funny how humanity holds itself in such high regard. We think we're so smart, and cultured, and civilized. Hahaha

[@gfox9295]

Well, compared to a rock... or some dirt... sure. We're very special. In the greater scheme of things. But... such a waste of potential.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

***** I couldn't have possibly put it any better. A waste of potential indeed.

[@agentindiana3415]

what do you mean by pro global warming?

[@agentindiana3415]

is that people that think global warming is good?

[@agentindiana3415]

also i believe that while we made global warming speed up it would of happened anyway and is not a completely from us. though we did help

[@RockHash]

How the FUCK are we spending over 7 MILLION PER PRISONER.

[@helenanilsson5666]

I was kind of expecting to find someone in the comment section who'd calculate how much that cost could buy in, say, public schools, health care, bombs - whatever it is that American's want their tax money to go towards.

[@paxdriver]

I don't imagine the torture professional comes cheap, nor are the psychiatrists who have to look after torturer's mental health

[@CreepyBlackDude]

What was the number he gave as Guantanamo's budget? $445 million or something like that? All to keep 63 people detained. 445 mil / 63 = A bit over 7 mil. Shocking number. I probably won't spend that much on my self in my entire lifetime.

[@matthewbyrne836]

American Conservatism currently means less regulation for business and less workers rights. Corporate interests have corrupted the Democrats, the Media, and the GOP. jill2016 .com

[@SimAlgyaxSaTun]

hahahhaahahahahahaha government got bigger with Reagan, Bush 1 and Bush 2......look it up. hahahhahahahahahahaha

[@pryingeyes1551]

After reading the lyrics to that Whitesnake song, and earnestly considering them for the first time. I can see how they'd be inspirational, contextually.

[@vaevictus4637]

That just happens to be the EXACT Casio watch handed out to every single basic training trainee in the Air Force.

[@pathacker4963]

I was hoping hurricane Matthew would take it out.

[@destinychild.1322]

You can't just make hurricane Matthew get rid of your problems America. It's your country fix it

[@pathacker4963]

As just average citizens here in the USA we really don't have much power to affect any change. Our presidential primaries should have pointed that out to the rest of the world. Most of our votes never count even when we do cast them. Money is the only thing that counts in the USA. And most of us have only enough money to pay the rent, buy a few groceries, and gas to get back and forth to work. We went without meals to support Bernie, but we were no real threat to the corrupt Clinton political machine. I upvoted you because I agree, but I just don't know what we can do about it.

[@destinychild.1322]

Pat Hacker i understand Canada isn't doing too well right now either

[@NathanCassidy721]

If Hurricane Katrina couldn't take it out, nothing will.

[@HavokMakerX]

armed revolt pheraphs?

[@Musicluver742]

I love how John Oliver doesn't just talk about daily news but important subject matters. My cousin was stationed at Gitmo and he said it was horrific. Gitmo needs to close.

[@dotter8]

I used to have a Casio watch like that. It played this cute French folk song as its alarm.

[@MagentaSpikesImprov]

My dad SOLD Casio watches. Haha... ahh..um. yeah.

[@tori2dles]

Magenta Spikes - I was an NGO worker in Afgh & took in at least 25 Casio watches to give as gifts to national staff, esteemed leaders, etc. I know no one I have them to ended up in Gitmo, but that part sure made me shudder. And that was only a few months after 9/11. 😓

[@JazzKeyboardist1]

my casio watch played the history of the world theme by that French girl saying.. All we have are these stupid accents.. Yes it is good to be the king of my zip code

[@saranghae2808]

John Oliver, I just want to say I love you. Thank you for this piece.

[@QueenMegaera]

An old (probably) arab man explaining his experience in Gitmo by talking in depth about Azkaban and Dementors from a UK children's book is simultaneously the most beautiful and the most tragic thing I've ever a heard. I don't care if he misspronounced it. I want to give that man a hug.

[@lonelynightm]

You know it is bad when this isn't the first time John has been talking about Guantanamo Bay on this show... *See you next time this comes back on this show, because you know it probably isn't closing anytime soon.* :(

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3*

[@aaaaaaaaz76]

~€===3

[@michaelweston2285]

i would hope most of the viewers don't gauge their political awareness and social constructs on things a comedian brings up on a comedy news show

[@michaeljohnson9916]

The ones that don't voted for Trump. Your point?

[@lenajohnson6179]

When he's the only one talking sense than he is the only one talking sense. Our Presidential candidates are a criminal and an idiot. We're screwed. We sure as shit should not gauge our political awareness and social constructs on anything our government has been crapping out its mouth for the last decade.

[@vanessaaraujo5340]

"I'm okay with a few innocent people there". What a great guy.

[@vieuxnez]

"It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer." is ... I thought... pretty well accepted? ... no?

[@mme.veronica735]

Except it's been shown that during the Bush era 26% became affiliated woth the Taliban and only ~6% in the Obama era. Is it better that 3-20 innocents suffer for one guilty

[@TheNinthGeneration1]

@@mme.veronica735 the easiest way to argue against it is this: there will always be guilty people who are free regardless of our actions, so we should try and protect those who are innocent who are easier to keep free, than to harm innocents to ineffectively stop some of the guilty

[@litmusaero2645]

@Your Majesty, America is innocent until guilty, im not sure if any other countries are the opposite but Iran wouldn't suprise me. Or north Korea. Although I think in North Korea your just guilty

[@michaelvaughan4140]

@@litmusaero2645 isn't that exactly why GITMO isn't on US soil?

[@ThunderStruck15]

@@mme.veronica735 so 74% and 94% didn’t?

[@XanderTuron]

6:43 Ah Willem Dafoe, for when your movie needs a monster, and you don't have the budget for a costume or effects.

[@TUCHENZ]

actually that's steve buscemi

[@XanderTuron]

My bad.

[@noctuferus]

lol no it's not... that's definitely Willem Dafoe

[@harundoener]

you talking about the death note movie XD ?

[@TUCHENZ]

wtf is death note?

[@BFFsEngineer]

Damn , now that I realize, John Oliver's going into Guantanamo

[@ee-ef8qr]

You mean LitMo.

[@MarsLonsen]

BFFs Engineer ARE YOU A MAN!?

[@thisisabadname7599]

BFFs Engineer sup engineer what's that idiot noob doing these days

[@supergluehotty]

Love it how every comment in respknse to this is about neebs gaming.

[@velenceigabor1418]

No, he is an important tool to keep the people calm by providing laughter.

[@siddharthkrishnan3317]

Fucking beautiful ending! LMAO

[@kitsunefire1]

Really the only reason I'm voting for Hillary To keep John Oliver out of Gitmo #keepjohnsafe2k17

[@asecrethollywoodtranny6379]

Trump is a new JFK. “This election will determine if we are a free nation or whether we have only the illusion of democracy, but are in fact controlled by a small handful of global special interests rigging the system, and our system is rigged,” “Our corrupt political establishment, that is the greatest power behind the efforts at radical globalization and the disenfranchisement of working people. Their financial resources are virtually unlimited, their political resources are unlimited, their media resources are unmatched.” “Our great civilization here in America and across the civilized world has come across a moment of reckoning. We’ve seen it in the United Kingdom, where they voted to liberate themselves from global government and global trade deals and global immigration deals that have destroyed their sovereignty and have destroyed many of those nations. The central base of world political power is right here in America, our corrupt political establishment that is the greatest power behind the efforts at radical globalization and the disenfranchisement of working people.” “The corporate media in our country is no longer involved in journalism, they are a political special interest, no different than any other … with an agenda, and the agenda is not for you, it’s for themselves … “The establishment and their media enablers wield control over this nation through means that are very well known.”

[@kitsunefire1]

Anton Ivanov Man, you must be a riot at parties

[@jaqenhghar4758]

Anton, your comparison isn't the least bit credible because Trump himself has a history of "rigging the system." I'm not comparing who is most corrupt between Hillary and Trump (as I support neither), but to use these quotes as attributes of who Trump is and will be..... is lying to one's self.

[@landshark1949]

Trump doesn't know what he's doing. Hillary is corrupt. We're pretty much fucked no matter which way it goes.

[@carultch]

Is Vladimir Putin his own translator? The voice sounds just like him speaking English.

[@jimmyoakmeister]

He does have great English, so it is possible

[@CloudsGirl7]

Yeah, really captured the sleaze and hypocrisy.

[@belvinnadar5782]

Putin is an ex-KGB. I'm pretty sure he knows more than a bunch of languages.

[@MasterMinderLp]

He was stationed in East Germany so he at least speaks Russian, English and German pretty flawless

[@adrielsebastian5216]

His English sounds like he's talking while someone's squeezing his ballsack. I think there's a video of that. But his German is impeccable, unsurprisingly, he's a former KGB agent in Easy Germany.

[@Somerandomguy524]

"There is still a possibility its gonna be this guy..." the irony.

[@tuerda]

Paused at 12:40 to look down at my left wrist -- yup, I am wearing that exact watch right now.

[@EVIL1357]

I think I used to own one? I used to really like digital watches, I've gone analog these days, though.

[@tuerda]

***** huh?

[@bhatl07]

tuerda

[@antwonvalentino9866]

"we know their guilty of something" you hear that folks? Thought crime is still a crime.

[@14Schofield]

That's not what a thought crime is. :P

[@antwonvalentino9866]

14Schofield​ you're probaly right. I just find it funny how they make the claim of them being gulity of something, we are ALL guilty of something that doesn't justify throwing anyone in prison off the bat or hunch which ever. "We know they're gulity of something we just don't know what yet." It's almost like saying, I think they're guilty of something but I don't know what." The fact that they can make a claim like that is dangerous.

[@ADerpyReality]

Well USA is religious

[@ioncamin5]

ive watched all these pieces 4 times so far in the spawn of 4 years, looking forward to the 5th, this is gold content, both funny and very educational

[@pietrocelano23]

*intro* John:-President Obama. Someone in the pubblic:-*WHOO!

[@MysteryMii]

Pietro Celano That person must really love Obama.

[@saeedvazirian]

@@MysteryMii Because they're stupid?

[@live_kaito_reaction]

Idk what this video is talking about, Big Boss destroyed Guantanamo Bay in 10 minutes in 1974.

[@MagentaSpikesImprov]

no

[@ahmedibrahim5039]

2 mins of that time was "kept you waiting huh?"

[@sgtbaker2072]

I can't even tell you how much I love you for posting this.

[@_b1ack0ut4]

That Other Guy ^^this XD

[@stillaliveplus1forme]

he even got those last few prisoners out

[@jaungiga]

That ending, though

[@DemHighTimes]

*~€===3*

[@saralawlor8389]

I'm watching in 2020, and literally jumped when I heard the audience laugh

[@beatthegreat7020]

I love that at the end the audience cheered at the concept of Oliver being detained and tortured for the rest of his life.

[@elkiness]

Excellent. Good to see someone caring and understanding the important points and making them so clear.

[@jesseekkerd]

"Standing up for our highest ideals, even when it requires accepting a certain amount of risk." Couldn't have said it better myself.

[@jjvagnar1]

19:38 Watching this bit in 2019 is just excruciating ly painful

[@heatherbedard4671]

give it a year. it gets worse.

[@randompastahandle]

@@heatherbedard4671 don't worry, it gets better. But not back to normal. Than it just stays like that for 7 months.

[@Hazzardworks]

That exact watch is on my wrist right now. Does this make me a terrorist?

[@ApliPi]

sorry man, but you know the rules

[@moriellymoproblems7842]

Make Casio Great Again.

[@SuigaRou]

It does. Stop terroring please.

[@neiltrichel1701]

Hazzardworks given the increasingly vague definition of terrorism used in the last few years, probably.

[@jackieboyborden]

Same.

[@ericwhite2497]

No discussion of the *CIA Torture Report*, no discussion of the *National Defense Authorization Act* (NDAA), no discussion of the daily beatings, the forced feeding, the sleep deprivation, the sensory deprivation, nothing. If John told less jokes and focused more on the inhumane, unconstitutional conditions of Guantanamo, then maybe, just maybe, we'd sway far more people into the "SHUT IT THE FUCK DOWN!" category.

[@felixloewenich2202]

He actually already talked about torture in another piece

[@Damd234]

Just saying, HBO(or a part of it which I can't name) controls his script, so they have could probably not allowed him to talk about it. I dunno.

[@afgriderx3387]

Definitely a good start to bring awareness to the wilfully ignorant masses.

[@s70driver2005]

you say wilfully ignorant but coming dude do you know about every single thing going on in this country? the world? there's plenty of stuff people don't know, & that's a part if it.

[@Cd123z]

He is a comedian, it's his job to primarily make jokes...

[@HonestArse]

ending was perfect.

[@tomasobroin4610]

I was a sailor stationed at Guantánamo for just over a year - it was depressing back in the 80s now even more so I suspect.

[@marzizzo]

Watching 19:54 in 2018...I'm so sorry Johnny

[@jacintovski]

2019 I'm so sorry...

[@lorax6001]

@@jacintovski 2020

[@trypptrapp266]

The longer it lasts, the more depressed I become

[@diyagore1784]

Jan 7th 2021. I'm so, so, so, sorry.

[@marzizzo]

@@diyagore1784 what a fool i was

[@Yakhashe]

those henry kissinger jokes never get old xD

[@415s30]

I work on shows and I know a guy that is a stagehand who worked at Bohemian Grove for an event, he said Kissinger and some others were drunk chasing girls around in the forest.

[@14Schofield]

That's not evil enough for Kissinger. ;)

[@MissCaraMint]

You know I can’t help having a soft spot for the man. Whatever els he did, he is the reason my parents met. He taught a university course where my parents both enrolled.

[@schattentaenzerin]

There really needs to be a "The last years tonight" show once a month that shows what happened to the all the topics and brings them back to attention.

[@sphamncwango4013]

4:56 just putting this here so I can come back to it every now and then

[@cesardelarose701]

when you have school tomorrow but see a john oliver upload....

[@jerryroberts9611]

But tomorrow's Columbus Day...

[@jeffreymuu5451]

Jerry Roberts That nigga didn't do anything good

[@jerryroberts9611]

+Jeffrey Muu True true.

[@jeffreymuu5451]

Could I just say why hasn't John Oliver made a video dedicated to harambe? And yes the cancer starts

[@filthycasuals9644]

When historians talk about great orators, John Oliver should be used as a modern comparison. This piece is art.

[@balwanidipesh1197]

I died at the end, lmao this guy is the best

[@trevorwall87]

I was expecting queen "I want to break free" 😂😂😂😂

[@dagewastaken7236]

That impression of Putin was one of the funniest thing I've ever seen. BLOWS MY MIND

[@ylvadahl8443]

"…the keys to Azkaban will be handed over to whoever succeeds him and there is still a possibility that it will be You-Know-Who." did Mr Oliver not say.

[@pts5217]

The grandparents line was pure brilliance

[@mazharrazmian]

F**k man, i used to wear that watch in my high school when I was in Waziristan (near Afghanistan), these watches are SO SO common in parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan that are closer to each other.

[@wesam6676]

Yep that watch was super popular in the middle east in the late 90s early 2000s

[@saranghae2808]

Wow

[@Zeiru]

"I've been shit-talking this guy for the better part of a year and I own a Casio watch." Guys, that's not a joke... In this context, that's terrifying in the realest ways.

[@hydnk8866]

If Donald's going to send bad dudes what about the bad gals?

[@rodneywarren1905]

If they are a 10 then they won't get sent. Otherwise they are trash as far as Donald is concerned.

[@questal25]

he's going to grab them by the pussy

[@archdukeferdinandofthe3rdc9]

If they're a 10 they stay, if they're a 5 he builds a wall around them, and if they're a 1 he deports them

[@countchocula2169]

Softball over the plate

[@Kenz305]

Rosie O'Donnell, Meagan Kelly, and models who gain weight will be the first sent to gitmo.

[@MCPunk55]

Wow... if my dad went to America in the 90s, he'd be arrested. He had that Casio watch.

[@penelopeclaire539]

I'm going back and watching videos from before 2017. I miss the days when obama was president and there was hope that things could possibly get better.

[@ravensalvadore7723]

I know, right? But also, it really hurts hearing John say "it's a possibility". Because now, it's a reality, and that sucks.

[@colgantm111]

Talia Sloman-Moll not to long and trump will be out of office

[@softyzz69]

Lmfao obama was and will always be the worst president in history hell Richard Nixon and Trump both were charged with impeachment and they are still better than barrack

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

I hope that you can regain your hope. The world is still, slowly, improving. Slowly enough to make me mad, but it's not reversing as much as it seems.

[@softyzz69]

@Krista Star um no he wasn't

[@dragonnestking3418]

Harry Potter and the Syrian Stone Harry Potter and the Gitmo Secret Harry Potter and the prisoners of Afghanistan Harry Potter and the Goblet of Torture Harry Potter and the Order of the MAGA Harry Potter and the water boarding prince Harry Potter and the deathly isle. This is the Gitmo translation for the Harry Potter series, have fun reading the description as it will probably be passages of these new translations.

[@DeeJayFM]

Can't wait for the movie adaptations

[@ashenguard_1437]

Yuno_Gasai r u a fan of future diary series

[@jedediahjehoshaphat]

I hope they make a porn parody of it soon

[@jenygee1]

Cant wait to read Harry Potter and the Short-shackeld prisoner!I heard it was originally a play.

[@saeedvazirian]

im glad torture, rape and Islamophobia is a joke to you.

[@elliotmaher8972]

I was wearing that same exact Casio watch when I watched that. Guess it's off to Gitmo.

[@xaviercruze1111]

"Still a possibility we gonna replace him with this dude"- that aged beautifully. 😂

[@scottpeterson7500]

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights: read it, love it, live it 🥰🍾🥂🇬🇧

[@sirius1696]

Right to healthcare? Education? Housing? Take that commie shit to Cuba. Here in America it's medical bankruptcy, trillion dollar student debt, and 7 times as many vacant houses as there are homeless people. That's called freedom, son 🇺🇸 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅

[@nicolemcdonald2910]

John Oliver’s Russian accent sounds like Mike Myers Shrek voice.

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

4:55 If you remember, in court when he heard the two songs played next to each other, he immediately apologized and agreed to pay everything. This example is still really funny though XD

[@meachy]

Wow. Watching this again five years later feels so surreal.

[@professorcomics2736]

I think Oliver's argument would work better for the mistreatment of detainees in general and rights of the accused. There was not a whole lot of negatives shown for Guantanamo, but for the mishandled detainees, prosecution and overall judicial mistakes in a lot of these cases.

[@KryssLaBryn]

You know, in WWII, Canada had several POW camps for the Allies. Do you know, German soldiers were so well-treated that when they were released at the end of the war, a whole bunch of them went home, saw the state Germany was in, grabbed their families, and moved back to Canada? Treating your prisoners *well* has a lot more positive results for everyone than treating them like inhuman monsters. Just a thought.

[@andro7862]

Guantanamo is an american gulag.

[@davidwuhrer6704]

I am afraid I have to disagree with you there. The prisoners in the gulags had been found guilty of something.

[@Not_actually_a_commie]

+David Wührer Not really.

[@destroya3303]

Gulags were far worse than the concentration camps. Nazis kept many hundreds of thousands of Jews alive throughout the war in work camps, while soviet gulags worked prisoners to death.

[@DanKaraJordan]

I take it that you have never read "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich." I hate the everything about Gitmo, but we do not need hyperbole tossed in to confuse the issues. All that does is undermine and minimize the horrific suffering of people who were put through genuine Russian Gulags.

[@dawnadriana1764]

I remember a quote from that magnificent book to the effect that a man who is warm cannot feel for one who is cold. Something like that. And a perfect analogy to how we Americans, warm and fuzzy in our patriotic blankets, cannot look suffering in the face and feel anything.

[@GlennDavey]

4:30 This is why I can never show this program to my parents. I love it though.

[@SirNubbin]

I'm wearing A Casio Watch and I love Grape Nuts. I will now wait for the swat to kick down my door.