Toxic Self Love: Could Non-Negotiables Be the Reason Some People Are Single?

Is there a such thing of TOO MUCH self-love? What if it causes you to miss out on the love of your life because you don’t like the package? We weigh in on the non-negotiables that could be the reason some haven’t found love yet.
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#selflove #relationships #singlelife

[@CJ-wm4ij]

I feel like Loni is opening up more and it’s so nice to see her growth. This season has the best chemistry yet.

[@siphesihle_k1857]

I agree, I’ve fallen more inlove with her recently. Deadass crying everytime she does 🤣😩

[@doneecemcneil7826]

Hi edagdwg being yourself is a real gift from god sharing. Yourself is a real gift to feeling love to enjoy your life god bless you to take time to get to know people and learn lindaj. Peace

[@jjlovesgreentea]

Adrienne is so New York I love it i feel like only a New Yorker would truly understand the hand gestures and how fast she did it 😂😂

[@khaniyah1494]

NY stand up🥰🙌🏾

[@msJessica0916]

She was really passionate and popping off in this segment 😆 .

[@jackieBarnesjaylob]

yep that us

[@ruruvarela]

@@khaniyah1494 Latinos stand up. I'm from CA and from the hood also. Funny enough when i was in New York they thought I was a local just from how I carried myself

[@Tan87ful]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@CHH3.]

"You betta read that Corinthians!" 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@courtneypointer-lewis5275]

🤣

[@Tan87ful]

😂😂

[@Tojoj22]

🙌🏽

[@tiffanymatsvai1929]

Hadn’t watched the real in a while since Tam Tam left, that being said… I love the growth I see in Adrienne, I love the glow and joy in Jeannie’s eyes, Loni looks so at peace and more happy and omg Garcelle is a perfect addition to the group 🥰🥰🥰

[@HAUSOFAARON]

People also take “protecting my peace” to an extreme level. At the slightest inconvenience or disagreement people will end up avoiding resolve.

[@KL-nw9mi]

Agreed

[@leah2476]

I agree

[@dira2009]

omg yes

[@britbritnicole9211]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@JewelHephzibah]

Very true..

[@blessedpepsimangena6455]

what grates me is when society assumes single people are too judgy. sometimes we are just not willing to settle.

[@mikelaw9317]

You shouldn't settle however there's big difference between having standards to the gods and you putting yourself so high that no one can reach you.

[@vante9588]

Keep it a buck. Most women's standard are standards that only fit like 1% of the population. Gotta make 100k, be 6ft, be funny, be interesting, be in shape, be an entrepreneur etc.. Men are like Look good Don't be rude Cook sometimes

[@mikelaw9317]

@@vante9588 not really, it seem that way but not really. I have heard women say the bar for men is in hell. Cause what they go after. It may seem that way cause the type women some men go after. At end women want a Man not a lil boy.

[@freudianslip2192]

No, most often that person would not date themselves.

[@jerlishacummings7808]

Exactly

[@cathytrevino1921]

I was trying to stay single and there was a guy that checked ALL of my “no”s so I thought I wouldn’t be interested anyway so we became friends. We got married in record time and I truly believe he’s my soulmate.

[@JennHerz-HTX92]

Wow. That's amazing. So you truly thought you wouldn't love him but ended up liking him after you initially thought you never would?

[@cathytrevino1921]

@@JennHerz-HTX92 I knew him already and liked him as a person but never thought he would be able to understand me enough for it to turn into love.

[@djm2985]

He may have just been what you needed vs what you wanted. 💚

[@Tan87ful]

Awww. That’s so romantic. Your love story sounds like a good premise for a Hallmark Channel movie. :))) 👏🏽💯

[@Nash0303]

What were the Nos ?

[@loveyb3347]

I feel like as blk women we arent picky enough. Lots of women looked over somethings and got chewed up in the long run.

[@jerlishacummings7808]

Amen!

[@beautifulblessing3476]

ABSOLUTELY!!!

[@ThatsJustMyBabyDaddy]

Garcelle is right. Social media has helped people forget how to live actual real life.

[@susieuniverse9321]

When you truly and deeply love yourself and enjoy your own company, being "lonely" or "dying alone" is not scary or even negative. Sounds like peace and my dream at the end tbh lol.

[@diasporanetworking4333]

I agree! Singleness is a beautiful thing. Marriage is not a necessity, contrary to what society wants us to believe. There is difference between loving yourself fully while being at peace with yourself / by yourself Vs just being “not in a relationship”. If you are just single because you are not in a relationship you’ll constantly feel lonely. It has to get to that point where you feel like, “I love my peace by myself so much, if I don’t have anyone in my life I’d be good”. And that feeling is so peaceful ❤️❤️

[@Msladyrae92]

yup. we ALL die alone in the end. Having a partner should not be validation of your worthiness of love.

[@baby_shii1263]

The older generation have this mentality singleness = something wrong with you or you miserable and Lonely. There is def a double standard because you never hear them ask a man why they ain’t got no woman. Little did they know you can have a man in your life and still be lonely.

[@susieuniverse9321]

@@baby_shii1263 right! They label men as bachelor's living their best lives when they are single....so weird.

[@veronica5080]

Funny because statistically its women that are happier when single and men that do the worst when they dont have women... very funny

[@oneakaell4974]

Sometimes when you step out of what you look for in a person you find the best things you never thought you’d love!

[@ruruvarela]

It be like like. I'm not with this guy anymore but if we would if continued is say he would be the one. We stopped for other reasons personal to ourselves and not because it had to do with the opposite person. But he has traits i traditionally would of been like nahhh. Lol. But in other area that were more important to me he checked all off. Too bad it was not meant to be. He still in my life just in a different way

[@TheLilly]

As long as those things you're stepping out of are not your values.

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

@@TheLilly Preach it, Lilly!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@syntychetolela8938]

True but why is it that this advice is only given to women? Men don’t lower their standards, or adjust… for a woman unless it’s an insecure man!

[@TheLilly]

@@syntychetolela8938 SAY THAT!!🗣👏🏾 The bar for men is in FREAKING HELL and Ion like that!!!!!

[@zonjavictoria4813]

I stopped watching the real daytime for a while because it just didn't feel genuine anymore. They are back to the content and ingenuity that I loved!! Garcelle has also been such a gracious addition to the team

[@destineeallen88]

Can we accept the fact that not everybody is healing at the same time. So while you are going through your healing process please be gentle with the people who are not because at one point in your life you were there to. Have some grace. Vice versa when you see someone healing don’t look at them like they’re snarky their just healing. Show some grace.

[@sandersra9036]

Exactly. I'm indifferent about "The Real" after this litte segment. I'm going through this little weird schizophrenic, supernatural phase where I'm **noticing** that everything I'm interested in or talking about or running through my mind comes back to me through media or social media. I've been talking about self-love and stuff for a little minute on social media as my life has been a little chaotic. I'm not nitpicky nor do I have too high standards. God's little "Sims Game" he's got us running around in matches me up with people who are things that I don't prefer. And if I begin to prefer those things, it matches me up with things I preferred before but don't prefer anymore. People I'm CLEARLY not feeling. This algorithm is childish. My fate, ultimately, is in greater hands. #NotAtheist. Lol. Ladies came off as bullies this time to this guy whose paranoid part of his body swear they're talking to him and others who may be going through a similar spiritual thing.

[@janderson947]

@@sandersra9036 God isn't playing games but let's be honest people let culture make their lovestory instead of God like Adrienne and her husband or Jeannie and hers...

[@sandersra9036]

@@janderson947 Yeah, just like I said. God isn't playing games. The video game were living in that God created for us is playing games. That's how I look at reality in a cheeky way. Always sending me things I'm no longer interested or passionate in when I'm no longer interested and passionate. And then sending me the things I was formerly interested in when I moved on and decided to take a different route. Finding people in my life acting out bad behavior I demonstrated when I was like 4-years-old, as if every childish thing I did will always repeat itself in the people I encounter, no matter how much I change. And sending folks to comment sections to tell me that God isn't playing games when I didn't say God is playing games. 😜 Yeah, so like I said.

[@abni1013]

Adrienne brought out her inner Tamar with those hand movements 😂😂

[@olorunfemianthonia6319]

Everybody will die alone, no one will follow you to the grave..live life on your terms

[@camillemitchell301]

I see both sides. No, you don't need to be married to live a happy and fulfilling life. At the same time, you don't need to put yourself on a pedestal so high that no one can reach it. Humility is key, because none of us are perfect. If you choose not to date/marry, it's because you prefer to live a single life, not because no one is good enough for you, because that's not true.

[@allieberrie9245]

Word

[@andrewstaples8677]

Facts

[@beautifulblessing3476]

ABSOLUTELY

[@winterwaffle16]

Who is anyone to tell someone else that they think too highly of themselves and that they'll end up lonely if they don't allow for some wiggle room in their standards?! SOOO many women have low self esteem and standards in the toilet, putting up with abysmal behavior from men! If some woman out there actually has standards and recognizes their worth, what is wrong with that?! Recognizing that their own company is better than the company of a man who's just not up to par with what they want. That is a great lesson many woman do not learn. Without some man holding you back, you have the time and money to do whatever you want! And this allows room in your life to find a man who actually meets your standards, since you didn't settle for Mr. Good Enough

[@rachelt723]

But for real, some women are not living in reality, they want a man that's this that not to say she shouldn't have standards but I know women who want a fairytale, they want a list but this is real life. Def don't settle for cheaters, emotional or physical abusive but also don't wait for a genie in a bottle created man, just don't be ridiculous

[@winterwaffle16]

@@rachelt723 Yeah I agree with that, but that's not what the laides here sounded like they were talking about, though they were reacting as if wanting a well dressed man IS like wanting a fairy tale man

[@beautifulblessing3476]

EXACTLY BECAUSE I'LL TELL A PERSON QUICK I'M A TOP NOTCH BOSS🎀🎀🥰🌹❤️AND I REFUSE TO LOWER MY STANDARDS BECAUSE THAT PERSON DOESN'T MEET THEM

[@beautifulblessing3476]

AWWW MANN YOU'RE PREACHING RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING IS SO TRUE🥰🥰🥰🥰... THESE WOMEN NOWADAYS PUT UP WITH INFIDELITY.... LYING.... ALL KINDS OF BS

[@beautifulblessing3476]

@Day OMFG YES!!!!!

[@nasiphinyathela6774]

I feel like Loni's opinions have changed since she has been in a relationship or serious relationship.

[@walterbrown9079]

Loni having a serious relationship she is not capable in her own words that wealthy black men doesn't want her because of her attitude then why would you want your boyfriend that you have to sign a NDA contract 📜 and you don't want to get married ? And you and your own words you are TOXIC AND DAMAGE I guess James will tolerate ! Celebrities like her can't live her own life ?

[@nasiphinyathela6774]

@@walterbrown9079 Sorry, what are you saying?

[@BelindaJoy]

I am guilty of this, I admit it. But I disagree with the ladies, just because I am single doesn't translate into being lonely. I am definitely overly picky in every man that approaches me. The difference between me and most women is I would be perfectly fine if my "Mr. Right" doesn't come along.

[@ayawnabennett9311]

THIS!!!

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

Preach! Nothing wrong with having expectations and standards. The Bible doesn't say settle!

[@becky5937]

3:04 I don’t like them thinking they can go in and change them too, but I do agree with some of their points. I also like that you are okay with being alone, I feel that’s a strength in itself and shows you have high standards and won’t settle because that where your happiness and joy is.

[@ruruvarela]

I am a male, and i also date men so my experience may be different. But what do you seek in Mr right that is not easily found? I only ask because, Mr right doesn't have to be a unicorn in the aspect of having good qualities.. And i have noticed that when dating i have been able to meet some great guys. Looks, career, well manered, family oriented ECT. But what helps tie the knot for me I'd a click/chemistry that can't be faked. I have met one guy who gave me all of that and the "undeniable chemistry" that for me seals the deal in terms of finding a good guy and a guy that fulfills what I seek out in my partner. Now for the women? What exactly are these high standards? Because in theory the guys i met could very well be someones Mr right. So it's not that they don't meet standards. They just don't have that xfactor. But that x factor is not a standard... Or else it would not be an x factor. Right? Do tell me in your experience what kind of men below your standards do you mean/run into?

[@BelindaJoy]

@@ruruvarela My response I see is not being interpreted as I meant it. Like you, I have men approach me on the regular with great looks, intelligence, careers, compatible political and spiritual beliefs. But you nailed it, what is missing is chemistry. As you said it can't be faked or forced. I consider myself an empath. And of the men that I had a glimmer of "Hmmm maybe....." there each time was a nagging feeling something was off about the guy. Sure enough, something would arise that was a deal breaker. Lastly, what sets me apart from most women is my definition of intimacy. What I define as sexual/intimate, most men only view it as foreplay. What turns me on bores most men (and women). So when I say the guy that would be my "Mr Right" would be rare.... I mean it. Thanks for the interesting exchange. Be well.

[@TheLilly]

Nah. My non negotiables are exactly that. NON NEGOTIABLE!!! That is not the same as toxic.

[@TheLilly]

@M Muss HEAVYYYYYY!!! I was like wtf??? Boy ain't no way boy

[@lydiafischer9005]

Self love is not wrong in fact is important to knowing thyself. There are many single women whose lives of being happy are not dependent on being married and have fulfilling careers

[@Strawberryfearsforever]

I totally agree, but they're not talking about those women. They're talking about women that WANT to be married or in a partnership.

[@zamamaduma7424]

@@Strawberryfearsforever even for the women who want to be in partnerships, if you have to compromise to a point where you are uncomfortable that relationship wont be fulfilling anyway. We all desire fulfilling relationships not just to have someone/anyone in your space

[@freudianslip2192]

That's true and there's plenty of data that shows the opposite.

[@cammiecam3032]

Adrienne is so animated and passionate about what she talks about. I love it. I love the chemistry between them 💜 I didn’t really watch the real but im loving it on youtube.

[@leticiasandoval5475]

Same here. That's where I watch it. Mainly for the chats tho.

[@Koalatronic]

I'm about the self love. I enjoy living myself and not having to compromise for anyone. Im not against meeting someone, but I have no particular inclination to, so I decided they will have to be pretty special....not because I think I'm all that, but because im really happy in my single life and it will take something quite special for me to choose to sacrifice that.

[@AK-LU]

I literally say this all the time 😯

[@beautifulblessing3476]

PRETTY FREAKING SPECIAL 😍 DO YA HEAR ME LOL

[@britbritnicole9211]

Adrienne’s hand gestures 🤣🤣🤣 but she’s right tho. But what she said is so true. You will miss out on the love of your life because you didn’t like the packaging…wooow!

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

I kinda agree and disagree at the same time because packaging matters. She married a man that was divorced and committed adultery and had 4 kids. . That's not every womans dream you know. I feel background history and past experiences matter .

[@britbritnicole9211]

@@Fashionpreneurondemand that’s his past, that doesn’t define him. Like she said nobody’s perfect and if we focused on who people were none of us would have love. She’s not perfect either.

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

@@britbritnicole9211 I understand that that's his past but some people can still carry on the same traits into a new marriage. That's a risk is what I'm saying.

[@britbritnicole9211]

@@Fashionpreneurondemand give people a chance before you assume that. Because if you did things I your first marriage that was wrong, would you want a man to not marry you because of it? No, you’d want him to love woman you are now.

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

@@britbritnicole9211 I understand what you're saying but that's still a personal preference at the end of the day. If that's the way the world worked people who have a criminal background would be given 2nd chances for bigger opportunities and not just everyday jobs. Your pass catches up with you. That's just the truth.

[@mariabautista378]

What Garcelle said is so true!!! At the end of the day I think you have to have the same goals and morals, all the extra stuff is just fluff.

[@loveafrica97]

lol y’all remember adriennes list.. no kids, not divorced and look 😭 love the growth!!

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

Exactly ! .But when you get older you start becoming more desperate and eager to find love . So what she did was a sacrifice. A big one because Israel is divorced because if committing adultery. But that's on her.

[@matyfortune5734]

Look life will humble and also sometimes we think we know but God has the last say over our lives

[@resaoh9386]

Garcelle’s outfit is lovely!

[@Bishopmoni]

Take this advice ladies and you'll be in constant physical fights with insecure men who care more about their power over you then the supposed love they have for you

[@beautifulblessing3476]

THIS RIGHT HERE THOUGH!!!!!!

[@ssmith6963]

We live in a very judgmental society..this is why there is so much depression and anxiety in this world. Keeping up with the Jones'. Get over yourself people. Facts are no one is perfect and life is short.

[@michaelamitchell1603]

I totally agree with this!!!

[@Zzucia]

exactly.

[@hustlemami8732]

Beautifully said

[@KL-nw9mi]

Agreed

[@Glycam]

I think the ladies are confused about the topic. Loving yourself and not wanting to settle is not toxic. We are responsible for our own happiness.

[@maggiecos2892]

I think they mean when some women or men their standards are TOO HIGH to meet ,(Almost to Perfection) and that DOES NOT EXIST

[@Msladyrae92]

@@maggiecos2892 but thats not what the initial article was talking about lol they conflated two diff things

[@Glycam]

@@maggiecos2892 I understand that part. Some of the commentaries wasn’t clear. It lumped every self loving single person into one category.

[@sandersra9036]

Right. 👍

[@Nique1986]

I luv Adrienne her growth from season one to now is so amazing and I agree it’s ok to love yourself but don’t forget we all have imperfections no one is perfect and when luv yourself becomes boastful it’s not good at all!!!

[@flyingchong]

Glad the ladies brought this up. Comedian Bill Burr also mentioned along this topic "There's a lot of self-love; how about some self-awareness?" And same Garcelle, I was also thinking social media. Everyone on Twitter thinks they're Jesus. Edit: Dang scrolling down, guessing a lot of people from Twitter migrated to this section lolz. Truth hurts, y'all.

[@marizona8334]

Once again Ade slayed it. TRUE self love means, knowing yourself, your flaws and trying every day to involve and while appreciating your good traits, also at the same time improving your flaws and evolving!!! Come on Ade ❤️

[@lin-deehorne3143]

I love Adrienne's personality 😄😄😄

[@GypsyEyes]

False. The girls are confusing 2 different things: deserving vs. entitlement. Deserving comes from love, while entitlement comes from fear. 2 very different energies.

[@707tich]

This is true also

[@sandersra9036]

Very true. 🙏👌

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

Thats easy for adreinne to say bcus she married a man that was divorced with 4 children. I'm sorry but that's not everyone's cup of tea. Theirs risks in that . The whole package matters in my opinion. Great job/ career and self sufficiency and no kids and or baggage . Everyone doesn't want a mixed family.

[@cocopuff6810]

I'm sure Adrienne said that when she was younger but as you get older and still single the likelihood of meeting someone is null and void. I

[@Fashionpreneurondemand]

@@cocopuff6810 Yea u start settling for things you originally wouldn't. None of us know what age we will meet our soul mates

[@KristieBach]

True. Especially since his children are grown & not to mention he has money.

[@matyfortune5734]

And she's happy, life has no manual book so ppl do whatever makes you happy

[@alextroy9202]

I sure as hell don’t

[@rebeccaemmanuel8074]

I love how there is always a name for everything

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

How you dress and present yourself is very important. Putting yourself first doesn't mean being selfish. We need to stop judging before actually having a conversation with a person.

[@kristinaharris9609]

I would rather be single before I settle for less.

[@eliap620]

I feel attacked *AND* misunderstood. Yes, I love myself, SO MUCH. It took me 3 decades to truly love myself, however I'm not conceited or boastful. I'm single because I haven't found someone to match my vibe and quite frankly, I'm good. I also don't want to live with anybody, so that's usually a deal breaker for many women. I feel like that's great people that have found great love to share with someone in a romantic way but being single and loving it is also great. I'm alone, never lonely. 🤠👍🏾 Happy holidays to anyone reading this right now. 🎄🎉🎊🎆✨🎇🧑🏾‍🎄🤶🏾🎅🏾

[@beautifulblessing3476]

OH AND BEST BELIEVE EVERYONE WHO LIVES TOGETHER / ARE IN SO CALLED RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T HAPPY MOST JUST PUT UP WITH FOOLISHNESS JUST SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE BY THEMSELVES RIDICULOUS

[@ajl2845]

Loni looks beautiful

[@toniwills4220]

She is killing it. The hair, makeup and dress are all on point. 👌👍.

[@lillywalden1542]

Absolutely love the real Jeannie she has blossomed into an amazing woman

[@andrewstaples8677]

Ever since she met Jeezy

[@Jadeukida]

Disagree honestly. Loving yourself to the point where no one else comes in the picture isn’t harming anyone. I dont think a human’s purpose is to fall in love. If that happens then that’s great, and if that doesn’t happens that’s also great if that’s what you want. Self love is so important because no one will love you more than yourself as long as you work on it.

[@ruruvarela]

You can have self love and stop know or learn to love someone else with out feeling superior to others. She talking about women who make themselves unattainable. I'm approachable. May be happy being single yes but also wanting to be in a relationship but always complain about the men the meet.

[@jonnydavis6066]

Love and affection are too different things 👏👏👏

[@lynnea5731]

This topic has many layers to it, but I can’t imagine a man saying, “I like you, but your clothes got to go.” 🤣🤣 I’m not telling a grown man how to dress unless he wants my opinion.

[@dijaworldworld3895]

I love their updated fashion. Garcelle is super sharp

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

I used to be a "guy's girl" one of the ladies that always has majority male friends. And I can't tell you how many times they say they want a woman *Just Like Me* except it couldn't *BE me.* They want my talent, oratory, cooking, sports, intellectual and sexual skills but in a body that isn't fat. 🙄 While I get we all have SOME superficial aspects to our desires, we often cheat ourselves out of the greatest blessings because we feel our "self-love" means we look like a troll but want Halle Berry as a mate. gtfohwtbs

[@antoinettejohnson2188]

You hit it on the nail I feel this all the time from guys but low key am not enough beauty and body wise .

[@reneewashington4107]

And most of the time the men are over weight or out of shape 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@jillianetuk5189]

@@reneewashington4107 right they have no room to judge

[@maggiecos2892]

Omgggg I experienced the Troll part alot with men. Ugfff. They are in denial about how they look or something. But they want Barbies and ain't even 5% Ken. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@vante9588]

I mean that's how it works. A man can make 100k, be 6'5, funny, interesting, nice, ECT. But if he sneezes funny it's a WRAP. Men have to meet way more metrics than women have to meet. But the few metrics that women have to meet hold a lot of weight because there are very few metrics in the first place.

[@KristieBach]

Don’t rush. Don’t settle

[@simplytina5627]

I love all of these outfits! Y’all are really slaying this season

[@irene-bz2yq]

Don't be picky but don't lower your standards either.

[@HenryLee666]

Sometimes it's so hard to differentiate between what's a high and unrealistic expectation and what's a healthy standard that you shouldn't negotiate and settle for less 😔. I just broke up with this guy that gives me so much of what I've always wanted but also comes in a package that I was so not expecting. I'm so confused :(

[@JaiClaire880]

Adrienne is killing it this season! Love ya girly!

[@davartclotheline7428]

It's good to hear women being reallllllll from time to time.

[@theetravelingfoodie]

I loved that Loni touched on showing others grace💜

[@HernameisSAFFA]

Discover yourself without hoping to fall in love with someone along the way...unknown

[@ricaward8122]

Adrienne you spoke some truth.

[@Mry140717]

Love you guys, so much wisdom in your mouths!!

[@cynthiatanah9572]

Wow this was sooooooo helpful and inspiring 🥰🥰

[@arianareed4865]

I feel so attacked but this was much need to hear 😖 I’m super picky

[@treasuret1500]

Great topic and sometimes me being like that it's just a comfort zone yes I know it's a bad habit. I'm suffering from self love because the past just got me to a point of moving on...all I want is to break through be happy 😂 .

[@Yuhngcoco]

I use to give my all into relationships and now I'm traumatized and push ppl away bc I don't ever want to lose myself again

[@c2steph]

I love the shout out to Will Packer and FAMU at the end! 🐍🐍🐍🐍

[@PureSparkles22]

Jeannie looks stunning

[@noemizuniga-perez7601]

On point she’s right social media is ruining dating and relationships.

[@JoslynJoy]

Hmm i feel Like. I already been through some things I just dont wanna accept or tolerate anything thAt doesnt serve me. I think this segment is about me. Dang. Especially when you live alone for a long time its vrry hard to let someone in. I definitely raised the bar super high because I didnt receive the things I deserved, before, so now I am reallly not wanting anything that seems less than. I worked so hard on myself there just aint no way I give someone a chance to come destroy that. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@ron3406]

Adrianne 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💛💛

[@blaqmax]

Thank you Loni for the wonderful shout out to my alma mater, thee Florida A & M University.

[@AriVirtual]

So perfectly said, love these women

[@hajaarsmith5930]

Loni with that "He got on a Jersey." 😩😭😭😭😂💀💀. The REAL git so much better this season yes.

[@chinenyeorakwue6233]

AD just got me cracking 😁😁this girl spews out wisdom

[@mayloop123]

Damn they talking about me

[@Loonz1926]

Gosh, I love Ade! 😂💛

[@zasembothobilemkhize3976]

Garcelle's outfit is stunning 😍❤🔥🤌🏽

[@Msladyrae92]

No cause I'd rather be single than deal with being mistreated and/or treated less than I treat myself. I feel like ya'll missed the mark on this. They are not being picky about looks they being picky about the treatment they're getting and/or the disagreements in the relationship . They run "when the going gets tough". Yall are conflating two diff things here.

[@sharzhay]

By yourself doesn't always equate to lonely. I enjoy my company man. But if you feel like you're lonely then change ..

[@MEGIDIOT]

Adrienne went offf and she's right

[@Cantetinza17]

I think if it's just crazy non-negotiable then yes. You can still have self love and find love. I think the videos telling people how to get a high valued partner and if they aren't like this and that and have this etc. it is a sespool of toxicity. The Insta-body and Insta-flossing has really done damage to what we should strive for in life.

[@asisiphoclay1568]

Damn the last time Lorni laughed this hard was when Ms Braxton was around 😂😂😂. Man the outfits!!!!

[@destinyjohnson4850]

can I just say that Garcelle is P E R F E C T for this show and fits P E R F E C T L Y with the girls. I love this so much !!!!

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

Did they get a new stylist 🤔💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 The ladies look absolutely stunning! Y’all need to help me with my style 😉.

[@IndependentMindWoman]

Love the topics!

[@MegaDede1212]

It's me 🤣🤣🤣 I'm working thru it okay?!

[@LockedInNOW]

I feel like am suffering from this because I know my worth and these out here don’t meet my standards, but do know am not perfect , so it’s hard !

[@javonicasapp1203]

And I dunno know about y'all but I love being single!!! Being single doesn't translate to being lonely!

[@AngelPerez-sh9wk]

I'm like that sometimes to be honest

[@anjacampbell645]

Funny cause they keep telling us to love ourselves and therefore not settle for less...

[@suziejms]

This is wild to me because each of these women absolutely didn't settle and met the man of their dreams objectively late in life and are very happy, so to push onto other women the notion of just being with anybody regardless of their reservations because otherwise they're lonely is kinda hypocritical to me

[@ck1098]

True but on some level, they all settled based on what they've voiced previously. Adrienne and I suspect Jeannie as well did not want a man with kids (and both guys brought a lot of stuff to the table that these women might not have accepted when they were younger) but they had to let go of some filters to find their ultimate love so I guess they mean that 🤷🏽‍.

[@beau-ti-ful5192]

Oh my gosh. I do see this in my sibly. Toxic self-love after being single for 8 years.

[@mayloop123]

4:19 this me …

[@michaelamitchell1603]

Period!!!

[@que6364]

We all have to compronise to an extent nobody is perfect

[@michaelaklenzo6191]

Gercelle “okay” to Adrienne rolling her neck is hilarious.

[@alexandraanderson3988]

Garcelle* but yeah😄😊 😁she probably be like why she rolling her neck like that so much lmaoo😅🥴🤭

[@TheSunshinefee]

All the women are poppin' - they look so good

[@jufinmay1]

Adrienne is 100% right

[@tamarM7_]

A and her shoulder game 🤣🤣🤣

[@raquelm2352]

NYC, in* Adrienne is everything 😄😄

[@MajesticMyronn]

Are we talking about those who happen to excude egotism & self-assertion?! Or we talking about people that love themselves so much they don’t need anybody else to love them ! Cuz I feel like there are people that like to be performative and be a bit self-serving & there is nothing wrong with showing love to yourself but the narcissistic undertones it’s like damn you can speak positively about yourself and say x, y , z but enough about you… I feel like there’s a point where it gets a bit like performative like what exactly are you trying to prove to those around you ?! You can be confident without being cocky and you can love yourself without deemimg yourself to be superior compared to others that may be in relationships and confident too !

[@DorGiftofGod]

I should have had more self love and I should have ran 1st red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩 I plan on having my list next time around. God's will! If that doesn't workout being single for the rest of my life sounds wonderful to me.. 🤗💖💕🤗💕💖🤗

[@lets_play_a_game268]

Adrienne is definitely my favorite on the panel. Omg🤣🤣🤣 Her lil cute dramatic self

[@abigailorus2932]

I'm sorry but they are some non-negotiable that are in fact non-negotiable and I am not talking about looks, the way the person dresses or if he likes football/soccer or not and I would prefer to stay single than to let down of that non-negotiable things (that are vital for me and part of my whole identity and my value system) only to have a relationship that, probably, wouldn't last and not be good for me.

[@mahsa065]

I think self love can become toxic when you put up "boundaries" for yourself and expect everyone to respect those but in doing so you leave no room for sympathy or tolerance towards others. In particular those who have lived and experience a completely different existence to yours. I see this a lot in the gen z crowd towards the older generations.

[@KeeKeeSoto]

Perfectly said!!!!

[@nombre1248]

What??

[@nombre1248]

Boundaries exist because we learnt how great they are

[@mahsa065]

@@nombre1248 Setting boundaries is great but there still needs to be room for sympathy and forgiveness, just as you would want from others. For example, I have a friend who is very hard on her mother for not respecting her preferred pronouns (they/ them), making a thing about wanting to protect her space. Fair enough, but she has to have sympathy for her mother's life journey and experiences or lack of experiences that would lead her to be closed minded or hesitant in accepting the new ways of society.

[@nombre1248]

@@mahsa065 when her mothers own experiences unintentionally harm her daughter there is no room for the daughter to accept that.the daughter could easily absorb this and pass it on to her own child as an excuse all over again.