Homestuck: by someone who never read Homestuck (Animation)

What even IS Homestuck?
If you all want I have a follow up with the other trolls....
Dedicated to those who have been asking or it years
Thanks to Matt who actually read Homestuck and provided the notes you see in the top right
☢ Follow on Twitter ☢ / teamtoxicure
☢ Support on Patreon ☢ / teamtoxicure
☢ Watch Live on Twitch ☢ / teamtoxicure

[@ToxiCurE]

THERE IS A RECORDED PART 2 staring those like 12 other trolls, I will release it if you all want

[@popgothika8078]

ToxiCurE god yes please

[@Weaver113]

Definitely!

[@davidalexander8947]

*In White's voice* Oh god yes

[@insufferablecrab]

Please

[@insufferablecrab]

Karkat is my son

[@alastaircasey8672]

"she does her taxes on time"

[@poeticpilgrim5468]

I mean.... probably?

[@ToxiCurE]

Alastair Casey AM I WRONG? (No, am I? WTF is Homestuck?)

[@Weaver113]

Well... she does care about the Law, a lot.

[@insufferablecrab]

What if they don't even have taxes, what if the empress just takes their stuff whenever she wants.

[@ktadair8104]

insufferableCrab Lines up with Dammek's beliefs, anyway.

[@becwikel951]

The very weak "the one who sells drugs is Karkat" is the one that killed me

[@TheDeath7ofsb]

"The mask but gone wrong" got me

[@TiredEyePilot]

Gamzee seems like he's the one who's always high to me he just seems like he's high most of the time

[@pokechatter]

@@TiredEyePilot It was a character trait that he was murderous when sober.

[@kamonabe8487]

"i never read homestuck" god i wish that were me

[@ghostlycosplay5573]

wagadeki That's what everyone wishes, but once you sell your soul to Hussie there is no going back.

[@TatiDragnir]

^^^^THAT^^^^ I have the spurb logo tattooed on my right wrist.. my soul is gone.. xD And my internet persona you see in my profile pic even has the candycorn colored horns fjsjdjdjc

[@user-bm9fy4qc5s]

Its too late we already sell our souls to hussie

[@monochromedream-eatingbaku]

Same. Sadly my soul has already been sold to Hussie.

[@HaleyInk]

bitch me too

[@coconutz4319]

move, im gay

[@TiimoLeThermo]

This is actually quite correct

[@Aoi_Ohayashi]

Ok, have your way dear gay master

[@alexanderleonardi3625]

she actually is too

[@alexanderleonardi3625]

@Angel115 gz and move, dipshit

[@hadesbaby2180]

This is the best "homestuck explained "

[@nananutdreamers4644]

My sister told me it was about guys with nine genitals who are really horny

[@nananutdreamers4644]

How accurate is that lmao

[@AGoes-mn3dm]

As someone who hasn’t read homestuck I can confirm that this is accurate

[@kittyleafdraws9602]

As someone who has read homestuck I can confirm that this is accurate

[@tiahjalahr2370]

i was just gonna say that lmfao

[@yakineko6635]

Yeah same, i kinda try to stay away from it

[@connor4391]

@@yakineko6635 *sniffs* im so proud of you for staying away from homestuck i dont know you but good job i sold my soul to hussie

[@sonianevermind6154]

1k likes now

[@broblerone413]

Okay but the whole "Eight freaking years of this and no one can undersand what the heck he's talking about" killed me because it's the most accurate statement about Homestuck ever

[@ether3alrune]

your username is incredible

[@broblerone413]

@@ether3alrune thank you

[@VoidAndCold]

She only got Gamzee right. ....... We need to make the Homestuck fandom bigger. Clearly we aren't doing a good enough job at forcing 8000+ pages of pure gold down the protein shoots of every living thing in sight.

[@Luigicat11]

chutes* lol

[@VoidAndCold]

+Luigicat11 XD It would seem I can't speak English, despite the fact that it is my first language.

[@Luigicat11]

Void And Cold Yeah. Hopefully you got that I was doing an impression of someone. XD

[@VoidAndCold]

+Luigicat11 who?

[@Luigicat11]

Void And Cold Well, since she's basically a walking spoiler, I'm gonna have to ask if you've gotten to Act 6 yet.

[@idleworship5890]

As someone who has never read Homestuck, either, I will assume this is 100% factual

[@nightmarefuel1391]

Sabrina Riley oh honey

[@ghateofthyme868]

It's much more complex than this :V

[@crashingcomets1464]

It's 4.13% factual

[@ugh3189]

yes of course there are two gemini signs and sagittarius was fake all along

[@Ayelis]

4.13%? I assume there's a detailed synopsis somewhere now. I'm not asking for it. It's just headcanon now, for me.

[@darkdreamer871]

Congratulations, Wazy, you did it. You have succeeded where all else have failed. You have told us about Homestuck-and done so with complete accuracy. Hussie would be proud.

[@askeleton5337]

darkdreamer871 this is wrong

[@jasonnguyen6820]

@@askeleton5337 r/wooooooosh

[@askeleton5337]

Im bait dummy

[@dennytampubolon3259]

@@jasonnguyen6820 r/wooshception

[@midorideaken7189]

@@jasonnguyen6820 woosh indeed

[@lemnlyme]

THIS HAD ME CRYING AS A LONG TIME FAN OF HOMESTUCK SEEING OUTSIDERS VIEWS ON MY BELOVED CHARACTERS THAT IVE KNOWN FOR ALMOST A DECADE MAKES ME LAUGH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS

[@cryptonaut1435]

Great, now every time I see Lord English I'll immediately think of him as "The Mask but gone wrong"

[@winteriris13]

420 the troll

[@DarkHouse67]

Nice

[@ikeking6797]

If anyone is 420 the troll it’s Gamzee. Mofo is almost always stoned on slime pies

[@tarian6624]

Stroodle the best troll

[@aadhya3229]

I literally was on that part 👁👄👁

[@SomeWeirdAssSfxGuy]

Nah nah nah it's the other way around honk

[@cvcvdfetghgbbhg]

*Was a full on HOMESTUCK at the peak of its popularity* RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

[@beautifulalley5755]

As a person oh has read homestuck this is 100% correct well 99.8% but correct other wise

[@Kitkat-px5ek]

Beautiful Alley Well yes, but actually no

[@ireallylikecats5376]

No it's not actually 😂

[@Kate-uj9rx]

Gemini 2 is the true gemini

[@WatchfulYarn]

Gemini 2: electric boogaloo

[@MaxEverywhereSystem]

Gemini 2: Reloaded

[@martintorres8885]

No shit sherlock

[@kadychapman5350]

This was me in middle school, not knowing what the hell my friends were talking about 😂

[@khr0me06]

same tho

[@Kadel___]

I actually just got into Homestuck not too long ago and this video made my day. Thank you!

[@phoebe5]

Kadel Animates Get out while you can. For your own sanity

[@Kadel___]

Too late. I'm already at the part where Kanaya shows up and saws Eridan in half after slapping Vriska and kicking Gamzee in the balls. Now Vriska sees her as her new Kismesiss after what she did to Tavros.

[@Kadel___]

Sorry, but I've already invested my time into it this far, might as well keep going.

[@someonesname5449]

Run

[@Kadel___]

Towards Homestuck? :?

[@joeysjunkyard6569]

I’m trying to get someone into Homestuck, this is the first thing I’m gonna show them.

[@S41RO]

Yeah... I normally show them the "DON'T WATCH HOMESTUCK" video.

[@lordbuss]

Spoilers? Like, huge spoilers? Horrible idea, i think.

[@sqwooshh]

Oh my god This is beautiful I love how your subtitles kept correcting you lmao

[@sav3849]

I would say no comment but that would be a comment this is also a comment.

[@calypsoschrodinger2882]

I HOPEd I would find you commenting here, thought it would be a bit more RAGE filled. My puns are bad.

[@sav3849]

Leijon Legion you are the VOID of comedy.

[@calypsoschrodinger2882]

Makara Gaming What can I say other than sorry that my jokes didn't take your BREATH away. They're pretty LIGHT after all. If I were to actually try it would be a BLOODly mess. I HOPE you don't MIND it but all these puns come from the HEART, completely deVOID of RAGE behind them. Man we're DOOMed to spend our LIFETIME to make these puns, aren't we, I should stop wasting text SPACE and be on my way.

[@sav3849]

Leijon Legion wow

[@calypsoschrodinger2882]

Makara Gaming sorry, I over did it.

[@mayisnotokay7575]

I can’t believe I’m seeing a homestuck video in this year of our lord 2018

[@MouseGoat]

homestuck is, and will always be. it's stuck in a infinite time loop after all.

[@tanyarastogi1110]

Hello from 2021 :D

[@Alex-jk9pq]

2021 wassuppp

[@fakenayhn]

yo.

[@ondry8780]

Mercury the virgo is my favorite character

[@tiahjalahr2370]

i really like 420 the troll

[@hamjuice345]

It's really impressive how you can ramble about something you're not even sure is correct ',:^) I want more people to be this funny

[@tyson6516]

Tat face tho

[@alexanderleonardi3625]

im actually impressed. shes not far off

[@jennyn990]

As someone that read Homestuck this is incredibly funny, but my god do I want to use my head to brake a table

[@gabrielalfredo5497]

Nepeta Is Now Naomi...And Sollux Is Ringo Star

[@gabrielalfredo5497]

@@ShetShetSheenHeads And Taurosa

[@lostemotions5292]

And Josh

[@carleyrenk9203]

this was so funny!! i can't breath! usually i find these videos reaaaaally boring but you have a lot of personality and imagination.

[@ToxiCurE]

Carley Renk that is probably one of the nicest comments I've ever received

[@maxythebee2037]

The comments in the corner are the best part omg

[@eatgrass5180]

Queen Bee HHH DAVEKAT!!

[@eatgrass5180]

wholesome

[@maxythebee2037]

eresil HECKITY YEAH DAVEKAT

[@ouji8809]

"this is eight years of this man's life and no one knows what the FUCK he's talking about" is a pretty accurate sumary of homestuck

[@jaediety]

Terezi doing her taxes on time is the most accurate assumption in this video

[@sappytree476]

I LOVE HOW THE COMMENTS IN THE CORNER SAYS "LEAVE HIM ALONE" WHEN SHE TALKS ABOUT TAVROS'S BAD HAIRCUT

[@kurtknocks9341]

"This man spent eight years of his life making this and no one knows what hes talking about"-The man I strive to me

[@ping7]

"His power is bad hair cuts" Nu my Boi tavros ;-;

[@AxtonAponte]

"The mask but gone wrong" Im gonna fuckin' die that was a perfect way of explaining the characer design

[@arbi9506]

"They get sucked into this computer game and then they meet these things called trolls" SHE ALREADY SKIPPED LIKE 3/4 ACTS WHY

[@romanlok1452]

im so glad this was in my recommended

[@kiwiparfaits]

this is such wild timing bc my friend just started reading homestuck (past act one) for the first time and I'm rereading it myself so we can talk abt it. homestuck is back in 2018

[@omenalaakso]

Should I read it?

[@g04tz_h0rnz]

Onerva Teiste Go ahead! Just a warning though, it's very long and gets pretty confusing at times. But if you can look past that, it's pretty great, from what I've read so far.

[@pumpkintm4388]

i love homestuck and know heaps about it, it was actually funny watching you try to get the names right

[@aminishnamedvaati]

I watched this before I read homestuck, and I'm watching it again after reading homestuck. It's alot more entertaining when you know the character's they're trying to guess.

[@spooky1997]

420 the troll. yess

[@ming7831]

0:45 IM CRYING

[@aminalcrossing3433]

ah yes perfect. i love homed of stuck.

[@moltenironphoenix215]

Your picture goes with your comment

[@SpringySpring04]

lol your pfp XD

[@numberoneingoenthusiast9379]

that stuck? homed.

[@pris7254]

1:00 MY NAME IS PRISCILLA OMG IM SO HAPPY SOMEONE ACTUALLY NOTICED MY NAME EXISTED AAA

[@digijade5245]

2:34 "his name is uHHHHH,"

[@barrybluejeans418]

0:40 I T O L D Y O U A B O U T T H O S E S T A I R S B R O

[@emieyebrows]

This is too good XD loved the vid, im crying happy tears cause this is bootyful. *pls help me homestuck is dragging me down the hole again*

[@naughtymelon6712]

As someone who read homestuck, this is surprisingly accurate.

[@jasondean4712]

I have been WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG!!!

[@daybyday834]

Spend the rest of my life reading the comic amd catching up on all the lore and fanfiction....or accept Wazy's summary as gospel truth. No contest 😎

[@brettfraser3712]

socks and sandals are bad but socks and croks now thats the shit 2:40

[@myst2380]

If this is not me before I read Homestuck I don't know what is.

[@tiahjalahr2370]

before i read homestuck i thought everyone was a troll and actually slapped myself when i started it

[@randomnikakat4784]

I watched this before reading Homestuck and I was like “what there’s no way Gamzee kills people” and boy was I wrong

[@I_SWEAR_IM_NOT_LYING]

I was the last in my friend group to start read homestuck but the first to finish it and, I very quickly went from yay silly lil clown guy go brrrr :0) to oh crap no Gamzee spare Karkat please :C

[@a-bird-lover]

Lol I remember when I didn't know about homestuck and guessed what it was, and just came up with hiveswap with scary accuracy.

[@CH40T1CLPS]

3:02 you could say she… Did nothing wrong

[@wilfredhamlet]

This was awesome please do part 2 :D

[@RealMelodyHope]

As someone who literally just finished Homestuck this was really enjoyable. You should read it.

[@raznjp]

oh wow homestuck content that's rare

[@rodd_boward]

That video was honestly amazing, loved it all the way through

[@pastelnightowo5425]

I’m so glad that even after all this time the fandom still seems to be going strong

[@linkmariokirby7373]

"and, like, the mask, but gone wrong" Best description of LE ever

[@caligulasAquarius]

0:16 bruh scott is literally my name RANDOM SCOTT SHOUTOUT!?

[@zed9401]

Your explanations of the characters and plot were hilarious!

[@birdpants3565]

I LOVE THIS I WAS SCHREECHING AND IT WAS AMAZING THANK YOU I CAN'T BREATHE

[@mistakenlyNocturnal]

Gamzee: The most important character in Homestuck.

[@Britonmarie]

Please read it! By the way, now you have to do an Ifsofactso video on all the chapters and the intermissions. Have fun.

[@My2CentsOpinion]

As someone who recently read through homestuck for the first time, this is hilarious. Also you didn't mention anything at all about troll romance, which is weirdly important in the story despite the trolls taking untill like the fith act to get introduced.

[@powersurge413]

i don’t think “neither good nor bad” applys to Vriska, i think you can firmly say Vriska is bad, Vriska is in fact, almost the worst that one could be.

[@aRandomGooglePlusAccount]

As someone who has read homestuck I can say only this... no one really gets it buddy.

[@-raecat-]

As someone who is currently on Act 6 Act 3 of Homestuck, this is _immensely_ funny and I will be coming back every 3 hours or so to view it again

[@armageddongirl612]

did u finish the thing

[@-raecat-]

@armageddongirl612 Yep! It took a long time and I am never doing it again, but I enjoyed it!

[@armageddongirl612]

@@-raecat- i read homestuck 4 times, not counting watching and re-watching youtubers read it

[@jureigeeksoutoccasionally]

“He’s the *MOTHER FUCKIN* crazy one!” HOW DID SHE KNOW

[@ghateofthyme868]

Kanaya de Vil

[@backmaskingklocucha1262]

1:31 THAT'S CANCER

[@kalebbailstorm9733]

HAHA I HAVENT SEEN HOMESTUCK VIDEOS FOR FOREVER BUT I WAS A FAN FOR AWHILE AND SAW THIS AND OMG I JUST LOVE YOUR PERSONALITY AND HOW MUCH FUN YOU HAD. And no worries, the only reason I remember what astrological sign was what was cause of my four years in high school while the comic was still going and I got into this show and saw the signs displayed on tee shirts for so long LOL

[@dappershinx9234]

The translation notes part is the most accurate thing anybody has ever said about Homestuck. Congratulations.

[@Bluish0range]

im like five hundred pages in and. yeah this looks pretty accurate

[@ToxiCurE]

OH NO. ITS TOO LATE FOR YOU. WE CAN'T SAVE YOU

[@skymac7123]

I guess this is homestuck

[@Gamma36]

This gave me a really good laugh, thanks you for that XD

[@psachickennugget8617]

Lol this is great cause I read it and boy is this funny. Keep up the good work.

[@StinkMaster380]

All I know about home stuck is that all my friends are in it and it ended around 7th or 8th grade for me

[@wolfbeam9169]

Eridan is Harry Potter.. Lol! You probably aren't too far off! xD

[@mothysjar]

I've only read about four acts and a bit of act five of homestuck and the little correction notes in the top corner are killing me more than the guessing

[@mothysjar]

here to say i finished homestuck and wow. retrospect n shit.

[@axelbee290]

This is perfect and i love it

[@dvvna]

4:03 I wish that's how the ending goes tbh

[@YoutubeHatesJapaneseLetters96]

Wrong, Everybody Loves Nepeta Leijon.

[@thewizard2158]

This, was SO funny. You got most things UNBELIEVABLY wrong but still managed to get the main points across. And the little comments in the corner were hilarious lmao

[@maidoflight5834]

This is absolutely fabulous

[@wanderingrequiem5032]

As a former Homestuck fan this is close enough

[@guydisorder]

Seven. It was seven years.

[@Mad_Hat_Stickman]

POV:You want a non-spoiler explanation version of Homestuck so you come to this:

[@pureevil9496]

I can't stop rewatching this

[@keybladequeen]

Wazy, I hope you know that you were right about the troll you assumed was gay because she canonically married Sammi (Rose)

[@kitkatmuffin]

Allow me to copy and paste the entire Homestuck script here without the images (continue in the comments if you want but I sure as heck ain’t doin the whole thing by myself). Also for those who haven’t read Homestuck, yes the beginning is boring. It’s supposed to be that way. It filters the weak from the worthy, natural selection only lets those strong enough to stand the boredom continue the adventure. •Homestuck A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be? >Enter name. >Try again. >Examine room. Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes. What will you do? >John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer. Your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord! >Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST. Out of sympathy for John's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CAKE for him and put it on his BED. >John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST. You retrieve your FAKE ARMS from the chest. You use these for HILARIOUS ANTICS. You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though. There are other items in the chest. >John: Examine contents of chest. In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. You are neither of these things. Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY. Some of this stuff may come in handy at some point. For now, you decide to just take the SMOKE PELLETS. >John: Captchalogue smoke pellets. You stow the SMOKE PELLETS on one of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS in your SYLLADEX. You still aren't totally sure what that means, but you are starting to get the hang of the vernacular at least. You have two empty CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS remaining. > John: Equip fake arms. You aren't totally sure if "EQUIP" is a verb copasetic with the abstract behavioral medium in which you dwell, but you give it a try anyway. Unfortunately, you cannot access the FAKE ARMS! Their card is underneath the one you just used to captchalogue the SMOKE PELLETS. You will have to use the pellets first in order to access the arms. But this is probably unadvisable, since you'd just make your room lousy with smoke! Your SYLLADEX'S FETCH MODUS is currently dictated by the logic of a STACK DATA STRUCTURE. You were never all that great with data structures and you find the concept puzzling and mildly irritating. But with any hope, perhaps you will advance new, more practical FETCH MODI for your SYLLADEX with a little more experience. > John: Examine Problem Sleuth Poster. Is it even possible to get any more hard boiled than that? You really doubt it. This poster was one of your wisest purchases. There is a nice spot on the wall next to it. You've been meaning to hang another poster there soon. > John: Read note on drawer. This note is rich with the aromas of FATHERLY AFTERSHAVES AND COLOGNES. Beside the note is a ROLLED UP POSTER. > John: Take poster. Another BIRTHDAY ARTIFACT. You wonder what is printed on the poster. You'll need some way to hang it on your wall. > John: Acquire hammer and nails. They will come in handy. You first place the HAMMER into your SYLLADEX. But now all of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS are full. You wonder what will happen if you try to take the NAILS? You guess it doesn't hurt to try. > John: Take nails. You captchalogue FOUR (4) NAILS into the top card, and push all the ARTIFACTS down a card. The FAKE ARMS are pushed entirely out of the deck!!! Oh well. They're probably completely useless anyway. But you probably don't want to do that again, unless you want to drop the SMOKE PELLETS and suffer the consequences. In any case, you now feel like you have gathered enough things to get down to business and do some really important stuff. The next thing you do will probably be exceptionally meaningful. www.homestuck.com/story/16

[@nicklastname1348]

seeing you get this so horrifically wrong is hilarious and i love this, this video got me into homestuck so thank u

[@aliaa4534]

Where can I read homestuck in order it looks fun

[@xxglizzyyxx9189]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

[@poeticpilgrim5468]

Ok there was an attempt.

[@jasminefoxj]

I’m offended because she mentioned the signs for all of them except Libra

[@ClockworkChandelure]

This was hilarious and I don't regret watching it

[@paulbarrytallman]

this is amazing

[@TheBishopV]

Happy day of birth