How to divorce a covert narcissist bully - Victoria McCooey

[@JW-sr1rb]

The anxiety is overwhelming! My doctor called it situational anxiety and I was only on medication for around six months. Thank you for caring and taking the time to help others!

[@TracyAMalone]

J W - glad the anxiety is better at least he realized it was due to crazy

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

Humans are not built to live in a state of constant anxiety. Our bodies just can't handle it! This is why we get sick when living in a toxic environment. Glad you got help and are healing!

[@tamalat7366]

If you have any dirt on them, pictures. Text messages, videos this has helped me fight back. They don’t want people to see there true colors

[@TracyAMalone]

So true!! And never tell them what you have until the perfect time ❤️

[@autumnhayes9610]

Been there, done that. I filed for divorce in August and I’m dropping it because I cannot afford legal representation and in Florida, there is no help. Legal aid closed my case because I do not have minor children and custody issues. I filed for divorce to save my home and that isn’t going to happen. He’s had a girlfriend for a year and a half and is blowing through marital assets and no one is doing anything about it. I’m not fighting through a divorce to come out of it with nothing. My focus is to gain the stability I never had and not to put time and energy in a battle I cannot win. No one ever wins with a narcissist. Finally I’ve reached the point where I have broken the trauma bond and nothing will ever make me let my guard down ever again!!! And I am really hurt and disappointed in the lack of compassion in the domestic violence agencies because they don’t really care. It is no wonder most women cannot escape narcissistic abuse. There are no financial resources for women who are not able to financially support themselves, especially in longer marriages where a woman has given her heart and soul to an abuser. Putting your life back together in your late 50’s and trying to survive poverty is excruciating. Even after 27 months post narcissistic discard, I am still struggling to repair the massive damage he deliberately did to every single aspect of my life. One thing is certain and that is that I want nothing to do with another relationship. Because my empathy was used as a weapon against me and I didn’t see it happening until I was trauma bonded with the abuser, I have completely lost the ability to trust. It’s difficult to confront the fact that he still controls any aspect of my life but I will NEVER get hurt again! I cannot go back and change anything that happened and I have learned my lessons well but I am thankful he is out of my life and I have big plans for my future.

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

Autumn, I am so sorry you are in this difficult position. I know that this is a real issue. But you sound like you are on the right track by being grateful for what you have accomplished (being rid of the narc) and looking ahead to a bright future that you are in control of creating. Sending you lots of love!

[@autumnhayes9610]

@Victoria McCooey. I can not thank you enough for your wonderful reply. It is my deepest deepest desire to create something wonderful out of the tragedy of narcissistic abuse. In support of that goal, last July, I earned my certification as a life coach and will specialize in narcissistic abuse education and emotional validation. You notice I did not use the word healing because I don’t believe you ever recover from the devastation. I have lived the experience of more than one lifetime of abuse and I’ve learned that you have to set much stronger boundaries as we move forward. The most critical area however is developing unwavering self esteem. It is what I lacked at the beginning of my relationship and the reason I didn’t walk away the very first time my husband snapped my head off over something stupid. Thank you again for taking the time to comment on my post. Have a great evening.

[@fionam3735]

Autumn Hayes I am going through divorce and the bill is going up as he is seriously controlling and being very difficult about everything. He has hidden everything as he has a self employed cash business with a business partner who is as corrupt as he is. He moved a woman into our house two months after he got rid of me and the kids. I have no job no money and he is a conman. I hope one day I love and trust again as that would be the ultimate revenge towards the narcissist. He used to love the fact his ex partner never moved on and he destroyed there family/children’s life although he blamed it all on her and her mental health. It’s a pity I listened to all the charm and charisma he had in the beginning if only I could have seen through it sooner but he’s a damn good actor. I think becoming a narcissistic abuse coach is an amazing thing to do as there are plenty of us out there like rabbits in the headlights with nowhere to go and not listened to or understood while these toxic narcissists get away with ruining life’s. X

[@autumnhayes9610]

Grace Kelly Oh sweetie, I can truly relate to what you’re going through. The history with the narcissist I’ve been married to for 21 years is almost identical to yours. What I’ve learned from both personal experience and talking to other survivors, abusive relationships start out the same. The narcissist love bombs the target and we think we’ve met the man of our dreams. In reality, they are rattlesnakes who disguise themselves as some kind of cute, cuddly, harmless creature. It’s been said that hindsight is 20/20 and this is absolutely true when we look back on the time wasted trying to love someone who doesn’t have a soul. Little does the asshole know, his 20+ years of abusing me has been the reason I found my calling. Had I not gone through the hell of trying to love a narcissist, I would not have learned every one of the lessons I’ve learned and wouldn’t be able to help others. It’s the silver lining in the dark cloud of abuse. It is incomprehensible that so many women are suffering and have nowhere to turn for help. I intend to start a non profit to do what no one has done so far and that is to provide resources such as free legal help as well as housing resources and anything else each individual survivor might need. This type of assistance is so critical in helping women escape the cycle of abuse and nothing like what is needed currently exists. It is time someone leveled the playing field between the victims and the abusers. This is why I filed yesterday to drop my divorce. No one can fight a battle without resources which I do not have. I am sending great big hugs to you and I wish you well in finding a way to live a life free from narcissistic abuse. Every single time I hear of another person whose life has been ruined by a soulless monster, my heart breaks a little more and I become even more determined to bring an end to abuse. I find it inconceivable that you never hear anything on the news about the hundreds of thousands of victims who are hoping to achieve peace in their lives.

[@fionam3735]

Autumn Hayes what an inspiring reply, I don’t think you hear about it because the world is run by narcissists, whether it be media, news, CEO’s, lawyers, judges, police etc.. they are control freaks that climb there way to controlling positions 😕

[@wadworbrotherls6261]

a divorce process is really long and stressful but you ladies are giving out light and encouragement which is a big help!

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

Thank you so much! That is exactly what we hope to do. So many people come to me and say, "I thought I was the only one until I heard you tell your story." It's important that others know they are not alone. They are not the crazy one. I feel so blessed that I am able to educate and support others who find themselves in this inexplicable situation that no one else understands.

[@marybrady3127]

Stayed 27 years..........Lost my children. .....Lost my home......Lost my health........Lost my siblings as they chose to believe him.......They are toxic😢

[@TracyAMalone]

Mary Brady - yes the wake of the damage is like a tsunami. Are you working on you now? Once we learn about them we must turn the crazy 24/7 learning about our vulnerabilities and work on those. For me the codependency. People pleasing, no boundary skills, abandonment, trauma and self-value skills were what I needed to learn

[@marybrady3127]

@@TracyAMalone I'm trying Tracy. Some days are very difficult. I just have a void that only my children can fill. Do we (mothers) ever get over that loss??

[@TracyAMalone]

Mary Brady - before I started really learning about others people’s journey I didn’t understand the loss of children, now many of my friend circle have lost their kids or fought for their kids. My heart goes out to them because the pain is eternal and can’t be fixed. What I have learned from these strong people is that they come to terms with the loss and slowly rebuild their lives and they then become advocates to help others and it is through that they find peace. One good friend just got her oldest back after five years and because she built her life, remarried and became that advocate her daughter is now wanting to do a video sharing her isolated life without mom in a video. Never give up hope and never stop fighting to build a new life. You speak of all your losses and I get it, I challenge you to find the things you found. There is a lesson we must learn in every experience. For me finding peace without years of drama and pain was a great silver lining .

[@marybrady3127]

@@TracyAMalone I use every opportunity to raise awareness and that definitely helps me cope with my horrendous loss. I really feel that awareness is growing. Ex was a covert narcissist. Only learned about it after I left. I really think he has a few psychopathic traits as well. Thanks for support Tracy.🌻🌹🍀

[@fionam3735]

Mary Brady so sorry, I lost my home, a fake marriage my reputation parents friends etc.. I have no job or money moved to a new area isolated and lonely so I know how you feel. He is working his poison on our daughter which is a worry as he pushed another daughter he has to suicide although he blames the mother (as they do) He has went out his way to destroy me and moved the new girlfriend in within a couple of months of discarding me. They are sick and toxic and cause so much chaos. These individuals need to be avoided at all costs. We shall rise again... where there is light there can be no darkness, we have left the darkness of there souls behind. X

[@kristen9987]

I'm going through this right now. It's awful. Married over ten years, stay at home Mom. He left, moved in with a woman, won't help financially, won't see the kids. It's so sick what these men get away with!

[@MarriageFraudSurvivors]

Same situation, no children thank God! I believe in karma and most of all God, they won’t change or treat the next supply better no matter what it looks like.

[@Xboomer1]

My sister was in 2 bad marriages... she was 66 when she passed away from Cancer...I feel bad that she did not know a truly loving relationship...

[@Canaday291]

I also stayed too long in an abusive tumultuous marriage to a malignant narcissist alcoholic And pushed aside the constant red flashing warning flags to leave feeling it was always a bad time to file for divorce leaving us destitute and didn’t want my children to suffer any more damage than what he had already caused in their lives I was always stuck in the position of doing damage control , covering up for him, and fixing the problems of his long path of self serving malicious reckless careless destruction as I was always protecting ,fighting against our worst enemy, and looking out for my children’s best interests trying so hard to preserve the family I unconditionally dedicated devoted sacrificed my life to build that he , (our worst nightmare)was trying to destroy always plotting and scheming By counter parenting, maligning, undermining and sabotaging , triangulating my children against me and against each other and smear campaigning our names to everyone He is Constantly creating stress, chaos, animosity and hatred and guaranteed he will plot to ruin anyone else’s peaceful happy moment, holiday, birthday Mother’s day,, even funerals,graduation...etc Except if it’s something celebrating or about him or what he wants to do His specialty is Provoking and instigating crazy making word salad never resolved or reasoning arguments Setting you up to react in front of others So they think poorly of you Like he already smear campaigned you to look like As he then gaslights,pathologically lies, stonewalls, projects, blame shifts all of his guilt and shame back onto his skapegoat victims as he slithers away playing the imposter innocent victim of his own crimes He created trauma bonds with my children and I through his coercive control to rob us of our souls and independence He verbally and physically abused us, cheated, abandonments and extreme neglect I too kept lowering the bar of tolerance to his “normalized” increasingly corrupt evil sadistic treatment of us He kept getting away with Everything revolved around fulfilling his self serving needs at the expense of hurting others He preys on your vulnerability’s and exploits belittles berates and weaponizes them against you And out of vengeance and jealousy he destroys in my children and I hopes , dreams, self esteem, self image, strengths and things you are proud of or skilled at by constantly planting seeds of doubt, reminding you of your weaknesses,sabotaging anything you succeed at, telling you you are worthless, useless and a failure and everyone thinks that about you And he’s constantly comparing you to everyone else Nothing you do is right, is enough ,or good enough As he intentionally moves the goal posts Where you’re never ever meeting his standards Always increasing your worthlessness And eroding your self esteem Wolf in sheep’s clothing is an understatement for this monster

[@dcl1778]

What if you’re afraid of how he will react?! What if you are pennyless after 25 years of service. 😓 When is the best time to tell Them? At night? When you’re alone? When you have nowhere to go or family close by!? Please!!! 🙏🏼 make a show about people sharing how they left? What works in one situation might not in another one. But who knows? We might get ideas from others who are alive to tell their stories. 💕

[@mehranmossaddad1656]

Pray.

[@Kristik10_4]

I absolutely agree with NOT staying for the children for all the reasons you listed. But...I stayed 33 years, and when I left, my two older children estranged from me not allowing me to see some of my grandchildren. My child Just cut the grandkids off from me with no regard for their psychological ramifications. My daughter has the narcissistic traits, yet I firmly believe had I left when they were little, I would never see my kids again. He and his family would have taken them away from me and I would have missed their childhood. At least I got to love them and nurture them. So it’s kind of you’re cursed if you go and cursed if you stay. They don’t talk to their 3rd sibling who has relationship with me. Also the narcissistic mother in law has shunned the child who stayed in the relationship with me and took down all pictures of his kids, her great grandkids. Once you get into a relationship with this demon narcissist, you’re along for the ride. On a positive note, in spite of this, I am healthy, happy, and healing. I know I will be okay. I just stay in gratitude for the years I had with the family I lost through this horrible divorce. So good luck to all of you out there who have found yourself in this type of situation. Hugs and prayers for you! It’s better to be free! You’re stronger than you’ll ever know!

[@TracyAMalone]

I am so sorry this happened to you, no one should experience this pain. Thank you for sharing your current acceptance stage, people need to see that hope.🙏🏻❤️

[@tracigodfrey4965]

Victoria was my coach and is a life saver! Thanks for having her on, Tracy!

[@TracyAMalone]

She is amazing so glad she helped you. ❤️

[@bobhunley83]

Thank you. I wish you well as I move on for good. You helped me at my worst. Asking for help is more traumatic than the trauma itself. Kind Respect. Bob

[@TracyAMalone]

Bob Hunley - I am so happy you are doing better! I will miss you 😘 but moving on is a great thing. May you find happiness and peace my friend. Hugs Tracy

[@lizalaska5084]

Thank you for saying the stuff about being strong. Right now I’m seeing everything so clear and so shocked and how I didn’t see. How I was duped. I can’t help but want to take take the blame... yet again. Thank you for saying I am strong.

[@mehranmossaddad1656]

The problem is a narc will make you look like the narc.

[@theraptureisnearbelieveinj7695]

Wish I had stayed with my first narcissistic husband. I ended up marrying another one cause that's unfortunately what I'm attracted to. If you divorce them, they will do a bang-up job of turning your children against you. My youngest daughter hasn't spoken to me in about 8 years and she's only 18. My middle son is cordial towards me but certainly doesn't pursue a relationship with me. My oldest daughter can be mean and heartless just like her Dad. If I had to do it all over again, I would of stayed until the kids were out of the house. That way YOU can control what goes on in the house and as long as you haven't turned against the Narc things remain ok in the home. It's hard to believe that narcs will turn their kids against their bio-Moms, but they'll stop at nothing to bring you down. Suffer through, be miserable, and STAY until the kids are old enough to realize that Dad's lies about you just aren't true. They don't have the reasoning skills as kids to see that they're being manipulated. May God strengthen and protect all who are in this kind of relationship!

[@bobhunley83]

I feel you are one of the safest to talk to Tracy. Bob😅

[@Xboomer1]

The term is "Blank Wall"... you play like it did not matter, or bother you... you simply let them play against a blank wall... like practicing tennis against a wall...they play with themselves, and you are not involved...but you still talk to them...but it is NEVER about them. In "Gray Rock", you have to "dull yourself up'... but not in Blank Wall... at the end of a conversation...you say..."Thank you for giving me attention"... because it is a war for attention... it is power, control, and domination... that is where the abuse comes from...their putdowns, accusations, projections, taunts, etc... so you don't show any emotional reaction...they NEED you to give them a reaction...they don't HAVE many emotions inside...this is for their "supply" they have to provoke... in blank wall...you don't give them that... you give them your statement... of BLAND ...not drama...not accusing them back... but just a neutral statement..."I had a really good apple today"... NEVER make it about them... "I did the laundry today"... they make a statement...you make a statement... your statement does not have to be about them...because THEIR statement is usually not about you...but about THEM... they accuse you of cheating....because THEY are cheating... and they want to put you OFF BALANCE... so you don't think they are cheating... so your response to "I know you are cheating on me...and have your lovers...", and what not... and you are "Cheating does not sound like me." said like you are ordering a ham sandwich.... but in your mind...you go... OK... I know now... you're cheating on me... and you can find out... "Don't even think about stealing money..." you..."I don't need to steal money. What would should we have for dinner?" see... deflect... like THEY defect...if you get too close, and challenge something, they create a distraction as she said... sooooooo....do your own deflecting.... "Nobody likes you... " "I vacuumed today...can I make you a sandwich?" My narc neighbor came over just to show me he could get my attention... he asked me a question...my back was turned.... he asked me again... I did not respond....he asked FIVE TIMES... this gives ME control... His lame request was if he could use my Red Recycle Bin.... me: "don't you have your own?" "Yes,".... "Why don't you use that one then?" he went away SMILING... he got my attention...but I did not do him a "FAVOR"...that is is thing...to HOVER, and get some CONTROL..."Do me a favor...and GET THAT WEED"... it is in the street...my side...not his... he is a cognitively deficient pathetic midget... He is a Covert Narc... probably not even aware that he is doing anything...he certainly does not seem to know that he has done any wrong, or harm... HE is the Saint... they are DELUSIONAL..it is an INSANITY... that is what is really going on... Personality Deficiency Syndrome...I call it.... PDS... I hope this helps...

[@lorijm28]

That is well said!! Wow! Anything else for me because that's what I've been doing with dealing with him

[@vicalib]

Thank you very much for that video. I am in divorce process now, your words give me hope:)xxx

[@vibe_oli]

It horrible because he won't let me go. He drops an atomic bomb everytime i try and out of fear how it affect our kids I get sucked in again. It's misery and hell. I want out but like Victoria was I am financially, physically, and verbally abused. He holds all the cards and is severely controlling. If it wasn't for my kids I'd run with the shirt on my back. He uses them as pawns and scares me about losing them. I can't leave them with him to get on my feet. It feels like prison. I leave, he turns off my phone. He won't put my name on anything even our lease and I'm not "allowed" to work. Even his family wants to help me leave but he ties their hands as well. Its horrid and evil. I feel utterly helpless. Everyone sees how he is but it doesn't do any good. I want out. I fear I will never escape. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't love them and fears them. My kids would be better off with us divorced. He only cares about wining this self perceived war. I need help but I'm isolated and feel like I'm in chains. My poor children are tge ultimate victims and he could care less.

[@SLR.e14]

Thank you for this ,I can relate. Is there any lawyers in Florida that could help me dealing with a Narcissist husband ?

[@pamj8888]

I was married/together for 12 years and it took 11 years to get divorced with a custody battle in the midst and all of the same demeanours throughout. I did not want my child growing up in that mess and left when child was 2.5 years and no job. When I left all he asked was did I leave for someone else? Lol wow says a lot, doesn’t it? I left because of the abuse and my daughter was not going to grow up thinking that is how we should be treated and for the last 30 days before I left, every night I had dreamt of my aunt, who passed away, and felt she was wanting to warn me. Woke up one day and just left with my child. We all deserve to be treated with unconditional love and respect and kindness. Find your power within and choose you. 💫💕

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

Wow! You were so strong and brave to do that. Congratulations on taking that leap of faith to find a better life for you and your daughter.

[@pamj8888]

Thank you muchly for the kind words. Congratulations to you, as well, for finding your power within and doing the same.

[@TracyAMalone]

Pam J - we do all deserve to find peace and love. You are strong 💪 and you got this

[@pamj8888]

Tracy Malone ~ Thank you muchly! I say I got this to myself all the time. Lol.

[@dcl1778]

Congratulations beautiful lady 🙏🏼 Be thankful everyday of your life that you were able to see the abuse early on! You were raised by a wise and loving parents. 💪🏻😊

[@tamalat7366]

6 yrs for a divorce omg! I am expecting the worse but 6 yrs!!!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Mom divorced Dad when I was 11. He has made me pay for it ever since, because she won't put up with his abuse any longer!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I am 59 now. He pulls the authoritarian parent when it is inappropriate(all the time) as if he can yell, threaten, hit me. He needs to man up,grow up and shut the hell up. I deserve a much better father than him!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

She rarely did. She divorced his sorry ass!

[@SJ-nq8lw]

I was married 2 years. No assets and it’s been a year and a half to try to get rid of him. Depositions on me ect. I live in a community property no fault state. No one has even scheduled a court date. Lying I broke all his stuff and trying to sue me for his stuff. Lying that he’s homeless and he makes 3 times the money as me. People believe this man. It’s sick.

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@autumnhayes9610]

@TracyAMalone Why don’t you have a guest on your show who doesn’t have a dime to hire a lawyer? There will be no divorce because I had to drop it so I will be legally connected to him for the rest of my life. Today is the last day in my home and I feel like a cancer has eaten my soul. I feel dead inside today. It’s been over 2 years since he discarded me and our life together after 21 years and I still cry. The only positive that has come of it is the trauma bind has been broken and the rose colored glasses are off. Why don’t you do an episode on women who are living in complete poverty and are either living on the streets or are very close to that?

[@TracyAMalone]

Autumn Hayes - I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you reached out to legal aid agencies they are always a part of each states DV agencies I have a listing of all the agencies on my website Narcissistabusesupport.com Go to the resource page it will lead to the DV agencies page There are legal resources to help. Again I am so sorry 😐

[@autumnhayes9610]

Tracy Malone Yes, I have. The ONLY legal assistance for low income citizens in the state of Florida is legal aid. Let me tell you how much help they were not. They would not represent me in court because I did not have issues in which I was fighting for custody. Not only that but they closed my case on December 31st even though the divorce was just beginning. In the state of Florida there is NO help. I called the Florida bar association and asked for referrals to pro bono attorney and was told there are none. I called 125 attorneys and was told if I didn’t have cash up front, they couldn’t help me. There might be help in other states but not here. That’s why it is surprising to me that anyone could pay for legal fees for the long periods of time you mentioned in this video. I withdrew my divorce petition because I have no resources to fight. Feel free to research legal assistance in Florida. Believe me, it’s not here. In case you’re wondering, I receive $791.00 on disability which isn’t enough to survive. I drove a truck for 16 years and have severe spinal deterioration. And CPTSD resulting in horrific nightmares. I wish I was never born.

[@katherinefarrugia3913]

I have no were to go and i have a disabled child and no job cause I take care of my child 24/7 what to do ? With no money no place to go

[@TracyAMalone]

katherine farrugia contact a DV agency near you. I have a detailed list on my website of agencies in every state. They offer free legal help You may be entitled to much more than he tells you ❤️

[@gigattwarrior6201]

Contact your local government...they provide shelter for victims of domestic abuse. Report the abuse to your primary care doctor and ask for a social worker to open your case.

[@pogogogo9002]

Going through this now. My ex siphoned and hid all our assets. He has left me homeless and destitute. He and his girlfriend are living in the dream home I designed and built on his families property. I am now looking for a pro Bono lawyer to help.

[@victoriawanty2272]

Oh my goodness lovely lady, that’s a lot to endure. I to am homeless and penniless. It’s going on a year just me and my dog.we just wen to the first court date. Everything has been expertly twisted. I am stressed about it all but the truth never changes and that’s wat I will be taking with in court. It all that I have. Your in a nut shell story will forever be in my heart. Sincerely 😔

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I hope he goes to Hell for the troubles he put you through!

[@mehranmossaddad1656]

That's the first messege I had to correct its not ok, abuse is not ok be from mom or me or any one else. No one has the right or you should allow to abuse you no one.

[@fionam3735]

I failed, my daughter came home from her dad and new girlfriends with a picture of a pig and to mummy written on it (my little girl isn’t old enough to write) I reacted 😳 and she told her dad who said mummy speaks rubbish! Argh I could have kicked myself.. I blew it as I haven’t reacted to the smear campaigns affairs etc but this childish thing got to me as he is using our daughter. He would have loved it as he is constantly trying to prod me through the lawyers and court.

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

We all fail. We are human. Just keep trying, and you will get better. It takes practice, just like everything else. It isn't normal for us not to react when people hurt us. This is so contrary to how humans are wired. But with practice, diligence and support, you will get better at it. Then one day, it won't even affect you.

[@TracyAMalone]

Grace Kelly - we are allowed to be human and react every now and again. We all have things or reactions we regret. Cut yourself a break. Just love your daughter and yourself. The narc will continue to trigger you and your reactions will soften - you just got out of a war it’s natural that he triggered you. ❤️

[@emmanuellewashington241]

I’m going thru it with a woman narc!! I need help

[@mehranmossaddad1656]

I am trying to get a divorce from my wife, extreme bpd, npd who tortured me physically, emotionally, socially and financially for 13 years got stock because we had a child now 11, she recently started talking of unbelievable abuse just like me behind my back being scared to tell any one then her friends came forward all traumatized by her. Now she is making the divorce difficult, she wants the child, where the child doesn't even want to see her. Wants alimony where she has been openly cheating, living with this other narc.

[@Honey-le4hw]

I have to give him the exact change to the cent

[@creatormom123]

I almost fell for "staying 10 more years'

[@wes6390]

I’m going through this :((((

[@TracyAMalone]

Sorry! I promise one day this will be a bad chapter but you will write a new life chapter.

[@wes6390]

Tracy Malone thank you for what you are doing and also answering , how do you get your self emotionally through this abuse

[@TracyAMalone]

Wes - I studied, I read more books in a month than I ever read in my ten years of marriage. I took four hour courses on gaslighting, I tried new treatments, I changed my diet to inspirational and self-help and learned about my childhood roles, inherited patterns. And almost three years later I still read a book a week on healing - there is so much to learn and I love it. When you focus your mind on something else you can’t allow the emotions to take you off course. This weekend I am doing two eight hour workshop days on family Constellation work. Once you learn enough about “them” move to healing the trauma, learn new skills to both repel other abusers but to find strength to make sure the rest of our lives is as wonderful as we create. ❤️

[@wes6390]

Tracy Malone been discarded- being ignored and wife filled divorce- I’m going to break and just about to

[@phoenixdawn217able]

Omg 😮 taking my clothes throwing my suitcases 🧳 everytime telling me it’s all my fault it’s my behaviour cheating on me lying to me threatening me telling me I was the problem when in actual fact it’s because she’d another girl lined up I discovered her journal 📓 I knew too much it was like reading a serial killers mind just writing about complete fantasies so many lies so many victims of her abuse it was like living with film characters of split ! You just didn’t know what the truth was until right up to discard

[@TracyAMalone]

Phoenix Dawn - oh my goodness I am so sorry for all you have been through. I am gathering a list of divorce tricks and I would love to use your clothes throwing out thing. If you are interested ping me [e-mail]

[@er8552]

Same here for me, they are demons

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

It helps to know that you are not alone. IT'S NOT YOU!!! Even though they can make you feel like you're the crazy one and everything is always your fault.

[@wes6390]

We are not the problem I am going through this right now it sucks

[@TracyAMalone]

@@wes6390 I know it sucks - the tricks they pull should be illegal. keep calm and don't let them see you upset because then they will keep going. It becomes not fun if we just play grey rock in front of them

[@SaraMorell]

😭 2 boys and 10 hearings in

[@johnmiller-jf3ez]

Wow you look amazing today!

[@Xboomer1]

She is right...it is stupid...

[@stephsteph3348]

I appreciate this talk. But I do find it wrong, devaluing and dysfunctional to say that if you leave a toxic situation early that you are weak.

[@iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521]

Maybe they do have a smaller part of their brain that causes them a lack of empathy... But perhaps this is because they have not exercised empathy so they have not built up that part of their brain..... Just my opinion. And what a beautiful discussion ladies, thank you so much! And Tracy may I just say that those colors make you look absolutely stunning!!😍

[@TracyAMalone]

iwantthetruth andnothingbut - thank you 🙏🏻 I have heard the rumors of this small brain 🧠 before - I like it!

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

Thanks for watching! Whether they can help it or not, we should not have to be subjected to it! Nor should our children!

[@youtubeaccount3344]

i wanna see the lemonades 🍋👀 🥂🥃🥤🍋 41:26

[@TracyAMalone]

youtube account - you will just keep learning and you will find lemonade

[@youtubeaccount3344]

@@TracyAMalone thank you, i love your videos

[@VictoriaMcCooey]

I never thought I'd see it either when I was in the thick of it. Have faith. Keep working at taking back your power. One day you will find your happy ending, I promise!

[@joesugden4086]

I am up the creek was married for 24 years raised 3 adult kids an one 16 I have custody but she has left 3 times in the last 6 years all she did was slander my name at the only two jobs she worked so she set up smear campaign for years. I was not a perfect husband an did loose my temper one time 6 years ago. She jumped out of our car an brought only doc report for evidence me no lawyer so we have no police reports I need help with a lawyer I worked my hands an body to the bone for her an my family. She has her work helping her because she was corvert enough with her smear campaign . So far that she even had the county police be leaving I was cooking drugs I need legal help only f po r the divorce I am just starting to love my self an grow. This women even signed the divorce petition on my birthday. Then 4 months later to still hurt she files for a restraining order.